• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. 254/2/2016

      by , 02-25-2016 at 10:39 PM
      Had to rush to work this morning so didn't write my journal. Can't remember too much now.

      1) Cycling in the town I used to live in. Turned around then stopped. I was with some people. Opened up a drink and it sprayed all over a friend, he wasn't too bothered.

      2) In a class of some sort. I was watching a weird magic show. Two people were dressed up in silly suits sitting in a large aquarium which got filled with water. I think they were going to try to escape from it.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    2. The Reluctant Dragon (DILD)

      by , 02-25-2016 at 09:43 PM
      Ritual: Set vibrating alarm for 40m at 6:20am. I don't remember it going off, but I began dreaming that I was trying to fall asleep, until it gradually dawned on me that I was already dreaming. It was 7:19 when I awoke, so given that the dream must have manifested at some point after the signal went off at 7am (since it was not interrupted by it), it could have lasted up to 19m. I'm classifying this as DILD and not EILD since lucidity was not initiated by recognition of the device signal.

      DILD: Initially I am on a beach, lying on a sort of cot, trying to fall asleep. There are other people all around me, and their activity and noise is keeping me awake. I mention aloud to someone nearby that I seem to be entering REM state even while awake, as I notice crisp and colorful visuals superimposing themselves over my visual field. Even though the new scene is layered over the old one, it is distinct enough that I can make out details: I am at the edge of a river running through a futuristic city. Some sort of V-shaped flying craft is flying in tripartite geometrical formations up above, the crafts each giving off light colored red, white, or blue, each grouped into a separate section. Is this meant to be a patriotic display?

      I do not change position, but the cot I'm lying on becomes a sort of couch as the environment around me resolves into a room full of kids. Someone plays a video on a TV monitor, which annoys me because I am trying to fall asleep and the music is distracting. But then they mention that the video features Jonathan Tweet, and the name sounds familiar. When I remember it is one of my favorite game developers, I take more interest in the video and sit up.

      Something makes me think this is a kind of school where the kids are learning lucid dream abilities. One boy, bald, sits to the left of me on my couch and he's trying to test his powers against me. He takes my hand in his, which begins to glow blue, and I realize that he's trying to "crystal" me, that is, harm me with the pale blue light he is creating. I counter it easily, however. This frustrates him and he begins trying to bite me. He opens a disturbingly wide mouth and tries to chomp down on my hand, but I counter him by softening both his flesh and his resolve, so that mouth sags toothlessly and he never completes the bite. We go through this cycle three or four times before I tire of the game and get up.

      By now I'm aware that I am already dreaming, and I walk into the next room, recalling my personal goals. [I accomplish a personal task, finding a certain fictional character, then suggest that we become dragons to fulfill one of the TOTYs.]

      I lead the way to a window and lift it open. We're about four storeys up, but I jump out without hesitation and spread my arms, letting the air catch me. As I fly off to the left, I focus on trying to develop the "feel" of a dragon body: four legs, wings, tail, scaly skin. I haven't tried this before and the results are so-so, a fluctuating hybrid between the new bodymap and my usual one. I am flying over what strikes me as a mid-twentieth-century city. There are no skyscrapers, just a mixture of low commercial and residential buildings that cover a wide expanse. I recall that the task requires me to destroy a village, but the city below seems too urban to qualify. Would a neighborhood count as a "village"? But my moral qualms kick in, and I hesitate to bring wrath upon an innocent residential neighborhood.

      I fly further on, toward the edge of the city, looking for a more remote target, preferably one with few occupants. After exploring the land for a while, I find a spot that, while a stretch to call it a "village," at least satisfies my ethical preoccupations: it is a cluster of buildings around a large industrial apparatus, evidently a manufacturing concern of some kind. I don't notice any people wandering around, so hopefully there are not many on site to be harmed. I can't imagine I'll find a better target (at least in relation to my own concerns, rather than the specifications of the task), so I begin circling over the site, breaking the buildings and bashing them down. Meanwhile I focus on maintaining my dragon form; this takes constant vigilence because it is so unfamiliar, and too easily slips into sensations more congruent with human limbs.

      What color dragon am I? I recall that D&D dragons can take many different colors, with corresponding breath weapons. On the ruins of the factory, I test acid and frost breath in turn, trying to decide which feels more natural. I like the effects of frost—after freezing metal walls solid they shatter in a satisfying way—but then I remember that the task specifies leaving flaming ruins in my wake, so I switch to fire. There isn't much in the way of visuals; rather than great gouts of flame, my fire breath is more of an intense heat that makes metal glow red. But I dutifully knock down and burn the factory into rubble.

      Afterwards, I hover anxiously over the destroyed site to see if anyone was harmed by my stunt. (I know, I know, I make a terrible dragon.) I do spot someone—something?—running around frantically, but as I peer closer, it does not look human at all. Curiously, it appears to be a small white gem that I take to be a cubic zirconia, attached to a tiny wire loop that looks like it must have once been the pendant of an earring. The sense of scale has been skewing dramatically as I have been peering closer, and now I feel back to my normal human size and form, kneeling over ruined buildings the size of an architectural model. I look carefully and spot two more little gems running around. Unless there are more I don't see, three victims isn't too bad, and at least they're still alive, even if they're looking understandably anxious. (How do gems even look anxious? It was something in the way they moved.)

      [I've been concentrating on my task and realize I have lost track of my friend. I look for him and we are briefly re-united before I wake up.]
    3. Flights of Fantasy.

      by , 02-25-2016 at 05:26 PM
      2/25/16

      Very, very short semi-lucid dream had from roughly 10:20 to 10:40.
      Became lucid at the end for a very short time.

      General theme was flight/dating?...

      ~

      After meeting a trans girl at the local Home Depot one night, we agreed to hook up and “see where it took us”. As was polite, we introduced our various personality facets and I casually brought up my ability to fly.
      Well, not so much “brought up” as “constantly hovered a few inches off the ground, proving the point beyond doubt”.
      Upon reaching her family's truck, she courteously invited me to ride with them whilst also casually showing off her own flight powers, making me feel less special and more sad at the same time.
      Naturally, I declined, because nobody wants to ride in a grubby old pickup truck, especially not when they can fly. Instead, I negotiated with the parents to fly alongside the truck and tail it thusly to their residence.

      And basically, that's just what I did. At this point, I had at least a bit of conscious control over how I flew and I was definitely aware I was flying, and proceeded to goof around the truck whilst it was in motion.
      However, things got serious when the truck achieved flight while driving down a short hill, and the airborn junk pile quickly outpaced me. But I wasn't to be undone so easily, and gathering all of my power, I put on a significant speed boost. (Unfortunately, the speed frightened me and my mind materialized a truck behind me for me to hold onto and stabilize myself).

      I had just outpaced the derelict vehicle and was proceeding in the general direction of a close-by snow-covered hillside when I finally decided to assert my control over the dream and achieved lucidity. Noticing the sun on the horizon, I decided to myself that on that horizon was an immense mountain that would go far, far beyond the clouds, and that I would climb it.

      Unfortunately, my stupid real-life brother's ringtone woke me up just as I was about to proceed on this heroic journey and despite efforts to remain otherwise, I sadly awoke.
      Categories
      lucid
    4. The Dy Lake

      by , 02-25-2016 at 12:33 PM
      I'm doing Dry Lake runs (a level in the game Path of Exile), laying waste to hordes of enemies. Some of the bosses are smart, and it gets personal.

      This eventually evolves into a zombie/demon siege on a certain house I'm at. That scenario keeps resetting, and my knowledge from previous iterations are not very useful n dealing with the situation.


      I always find it difficult to extract detail from a dream when I'm doing the same thing over and over.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    5. [25-02-2016]

      by , 02-25-2016 at 09:42 AM (Snehk's Dreamlands)
      Fragment

      I was in home with my younger sister. It was a late evening and it was quite dark outside. Random stuff was thrown all around on the ground. We talked for a while, moving between messy rooms.

      First dream

      Suddenly I found myself on a street. I was a black dude wearing jeans trousers and a green shirt. I was there with my grandpa - a black man wearing white t-shirt and dark jeans trousers. We were going to a skyscraper, as an evil businessman have kidnapped my girlfriend for some reason. I entered the building and ran around it, devastating everything until I got into his office. Finding no one there, I outright destroyed it. Suddenly I realized that now he took my grandpa. I ran out of building and tried to run after him, but I was too late and someone grabbed him to a yellow car.

      Second dream

      I was in school after some time of absence. It was a weird day - people from local forestry offices came to our school. No one was prepared for this, and teacher was a bit angry about that. When I saw what's going on I said that it would be better to hide somewhere. But first I went to cafeteria and took a glass of milk, drank it and thought that I really should hide. I went to toilets - the room was much bigger and dirtier than originally. I hid in one of the cabins - there was no stench but a lot of dirt. I thought that I'll have hard time getting out of this labyrinth.

      False awakening

      I woke up in my bed, and immediately thought about school and explaining myself from hiding. Next I thought about dream recall, and fallen asleep again.
    6. 2016-02-25 LD#178; short snippets of many dreams

      by , 02-25-2016 at 08:14 AM
      LD Feb goal: achieved 4/10, 6 to go!

      recall sort of "supressed" it seems at the moment, I'm guessing by intense my diet & exercise regime. I'm only managing short snippets of what was happening right around when I wake up.

      + birthday party, champagne and red wine (someone says "give me whatever is healthier", I think and say "that would be the red wine"), TZ plays guitar awesomely, son S2 is there with messy hair [true], I'm worried that I can't eat the pizza because I'll ruin my fitness program.

      + flying a jet and firing on ground targets. At first it's a simulation and I'm waiting for the targets to turn red on my HUD, but then it seems real. At first I press the wrong button on the joystick to fire but then I pull and hold the proper trigger button. I'm holding my fire for a long time on targets but they don't seem to explode/die for some reason.

      + driving in a car quickly at night, pass some guys walking on the street who look like trouble, quickly turn into a driveway way too fast (another guy is driving), hope we don't hit anything or anyone, come to a stop by the house, get out and I see bees flying around I think this is a bee farm, and I'm looking for the restrooms which I think I see in the distance.

      Later we're walking in a mall lot and my wife points out a large restaurant in the distance and says "why don't we go eat here"

      + LD#178, perhaps my most poorly recalled lucid, very odd. I swooped in to kiss a girl, got lucid, affirmed out loud "I am dreaming," I look around to stabilize, worry a bit about waking, and that's about all I remember. I'm sure there was more. But by my rules I'm counting it because I made a positive affirmation of dreaming.

      + returning to our car with a (black?) girl, we go to the front passenger door, and she sees that we've left a bunch of things on top of our car. I go to the driver door and we get in and we're talking about how this could be, she says it's because nobody wants anybody else' old moldy clothing, etc., and we agree this would be a great way to hide things we don't want stolen, inside old dirty sheets or clothing.

      There was a lot more but it slipped away.
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    7. Her Eyes

      by , 02-25-2016 at 04:42 AM (One Up Seeker)
      1. I was driving down a highway and it was nighttime, however, there was still many cars on the road. My sister was in the passenger seat next to me. I "realized" that I had just gotten a haircut, so I looked in my mirror to see if it looked good. It looked like crap to say the least lmao. Everything was uneven and I knew I had to get it fixed the next day. I got off of the highway after being on it for a few minutes and I turned into a nice looking subdivision. I drove down a road and noticed that there were many cars ahead of me. Suddenly all of the cars came to a stop and so did I. I looked ahead to see that there was a stop sign causing this. I held my foot on the brakes and waited. After about 5 minutes of waiting and not moving forward at all I put down my driver window and looked ahead. Why the fuck was no one driving? I finally decided to go into the oncoming lane after making sure it was clear and drove past all the cars in front of me, all 5 or 6 of them.
      As I did so I looked at a few of the drivers. They looked like zombies, no facial expression at all- completely absent minded. I continued driving ahead and eventually drove into a small park. Now, there was no where to park, so I was driving on the park ground itself and on the grass. I made a huge circle around the park and eventually came to an area with a lot of people sitting down and socializing. At this point I am still in my car, but its as if I am floating just over the heads off all these people. I see a girl sitting down not far ahead of my car on the right side. I look at her, and she looks at me. This girl was light skinned and had straight black hair. For a few moments I became lost in the depths of her eyes. They were beautiful. Her eyes were the color of a glowing emerald. I couldn't stop looking at her.
      I brought my focus back to driving, except now, I suddenly was on the ground walking in the grass. I noticed a small droid-looking robot moving along just right in front of me. The droid went right through a group of middle aged mexican men. One man in this group was wearing a bright red shirt, black slacks, and black boots. I could hear their conversation clearly. They were talking strict business. I remember hearing the guy in the red shirt say something like, "We can make 200k every 2 minutes if go through with this". As he was talking, the words he spoke all up and down his black slacks in a white font. I continued walking and eventually made it out of the park.
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    8. "Fuck You" Got Me into Trouble, Even Though I Saved a Guard

      by , 02-25-2016 at 03:20 AM (Ophelia's Book O' Fun II)
      Nonlucid.

      I don't recall how the dream began, only how I was leaving a store of some kind. The store's security guard, a sweet looking old man, was standing outside. I walked past him toward my car then heard a ruckus behind me. I looked back at the guard and noticed a 10-12 year old kid was kinda messing with him. "Lemme see your handcuffs!!" The old man obliged, and then the kid handcuffed the guard to a newspaper dispenser and took his keys. He ran to a car where 2 women, who were clearly his mom and a friend, sat in the front 2 seats chitchatting and paying attention to nothing going on. I ran after the kid and said "Give me back those keys you bitch." The 2 women stopped talking and stared at me. The kid, clearly feeling busted, gave me the keys. I looked at the kid and yelled "Fuck you kid," then looked at the 2 women and yelled, "Fuck y'all too!"

      Bitches.

      I went to the guard and freed him, and he said to me, "Well you didn't handle that very well. You shouldn't have cussed at them."

      Bitch.

      Later on I had a dinner party and those 2 women showed up. They said they felt uncomfortable about me saying "fuck you" to them earlier, and left, and took all the other guests with them.

      Bitches.

      Updated 02-25-2016 at 03:26 AM by 905

      Categories
      non-lucid
    9. Log 300 - Simple Seated Stroll and Other Assorted Stories

      by , 02-25-2016 at 01:19 AM (Dream Logs DWN-12)
      Created Wednesday 24 February 2016

      I managed to get a DILD, and a vivid one at that. Aside from that, there were a number of dreams I could recall today, more than in recent times. Probably a side effect of my new WILD anchors. Anyway, I know I remembered scraps of a dream after the first awakening, but forgot that by now. Before the first dream below, I could somewhat remember being in a desolate urban shopping district, where I played 16-bit era video games. There was some interaction with a bizarre, monstrous woman, one with arthropodal features, whom I nonetheless treated as a friend. After a few other dreams, there was also something about Futurama, where Fry turned into some giant, hideous slime creature, and beckoned for Leela to let him eat her, the latter of whom became conflicted on the matter for some reason. Finally, there were also fragments related to being in an urban environment or cityscape, all of which influenced similar dreams listed below.

      Spoiler for Spoilered to save space:

      Updated 02-27-2016 at 03:09 AM by 89930 (added date)

      Categories
      nightmare , false awakening , lucid , non-lucid
    10. DJ#94: Photos and Potions

      by , 02-24-2016 at 10:52 PM (BlairBros' Adventures)
      24/2/16:
      Dream 1: I was at my grandmas house looking at all these old photos that she had. I can't remember what the photos were about, but my dad called me and told me to get out of there. I told him everything was fine and not to worry, but he urged me to leave so I tried to walk outside, but all the doors and windows were locked; I was trapped inside. I saw and heard my grandparents car roll into the driveway and them get out.

      Dream 2: I was in an airport like corridor that was part of a university, in a line of people trying to get in. To get in I had to give my username and password, however it wasn't working. Eventually the guy came over and asked me if I was sure the password was correct, so I tried another one and it worked, so I was let in.

      Dream 3: I was with a girl around my age in her house at night time. It was an old fashioned house made out of wood and brick, and she was showing me around through the faint orange glow of some lamps. As we entered the living room I saw she had a large collection of potion bottles on shelves around the room. I asked her what was going on with that, and she took one and frank it before replying. She said she needed to constantly drink those potions for her health or something like that. I was pretty freaked out but we talked a little bit more. A few minutes later though as she reached for another potion I grabbed it away from her and told her I didn't like her drinking all those potions. She scrabbled to get it back, but I saw something happening which gave me pause. Her fingernails were growing in a short little bursts, blurring a bit before shooting out another centimetre or two. Horrified, I threw the potion back at her and she guzzled it down, stopping the growth of the fingernail. She glared at me, both angrily and sadly, complaining that now she had to file her nails down again. She went off into a bathroom and I sat down, overwhelmed by the whole experience.

      Fragment: Something about playing minecraft.
      Tags: non - lucid
      Categories
      non-lucid
    11. Afternoon Lucid

      by , 02-24-2016 at 09:34 PM
      I come back home from school early today and since I was feeling down in the dumps I tried at getting a lucid dream. What I recall happening was that I almost had a WILD. I observed as a image of a forum began to appear than a box. Than sketches of a cartoon man in a box. It was as if the person's followers were watching a art live stream. But as I kept observing I started thinking of something else on purpose and after a bit I fell asleep... When I woke up I recall dreaming of nothing.

      I than tried at a lucid dream with more motivation. I ended up on my bed and it was dark. A figure began to appear above me and as I observed it I noted that it was in the form of a strong yet slim looking guy. Had a cloak that was layered a bit. It was also open in the front and long in the back. The skin was like a light white/ violet color. The cloak was the color orange and like a reddish purple with pretty designs. But what stood out the most was that the one Eye he had was huge and covered his whole face.

      "Are you Eye or Dawn?"I asked knowing that I wanted to be lucid with one of them. But than I noted that the dream character's form was still morphing and becoming invisible. I grabbed the dream character than hugged it. It seemed to be morphing less so I told it."You remind me of Poe. That character from the legend of Zelda ocarina of time. I had a dream with a poe like character before". (The only reason I brought about this comparison was because Percy Lucid commented about it in my dream journal before)

      The dc didn't really speak to me though. So I just gave it another hug and it accepted it. After that I tried asking it more questions but it didn't respond. The next thing that happened was that the dream shifted after a bit of trying to get an answer out of the dc.
      I was now in a subway station and my lucidity wasn't there. I was trying to get in the train but it seemed too far from me.

      As others around me began to contemplate how to get in I saw the word "spaghetti"on the train. I thought of the game Undertale when I saw it than remembered I was in a dream and still was. After that a man said out loud "spaghetti starts with a B". Only proving I was lucid dreaming again.

      I got up than saw the tall like poe dc appear in front of me. It grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to it. Than flew me above the track and than into some tunnels. I wanted to see where it would take me but than I started thinking about OBE like dreams. I didn't want a OBE like dream. But once we passed the tunnel I could feel the wind hitting me and things were starting to feel more like reality does even though I still knew it was a dream. However, I wanted to wake up and ended up on my bed.

      It became a false awakening but when I saw papyrus (A character from Undertale) in my room I hid under the covers thinking I was just seeing a quick passing image. But as I thought about it I eventually woke up for real.
      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    12. One Hundred Nine

      by , 02-24-2016 at 08:36 PM
      Basically one long dream that had three distinct parts.


      In which A's new dog's former owner returns...

      I'm returning to an upstairs apartment after walking Lucy and Moose. I can picture the layout of the flat, but it's not a place I recognize from real life. When I open the door to the apartment, I enter an open rectangular space with a wall of windows directly across the room from me. To the right of those windows is a hall leading into a kitchen. There are people in the apartment, including my mother. I don't know all of them.

      Moose is dirty from a walk to the river, and someone tells me that his owner will be upset that she has to wash him again. What owner? Not A. A asked me to walk him in the first place.

      Now we are downstairs. Moose is in a crate, sleeping. Two women, one with curly long strawberry hair, sit nearby. They are both all about their calm smiles to the point that it is difficult to communicate with them. I'm trying to figure out how it is that they think Moose is their dog. They explain that he just runs off sometimes to live with others. He's theirs, though, and they want to keep him. I tell them that he's been with A for months now and that he really loves his new life. He looks so sad sitting in the crate. I tell them how he gets to walk down to the river and go for a swim every day. They just shrug. We can take him for a walk whenever we want, so long as we don't get him dirty.

      I'm back upstairs in the apartment, trying to text A to let her know what is going on. I'm furious and confused, and I'm eager to scheme a way to keep Moose. Maybe they'll let us buy him from them. I'm having trouble texting because I can press the letters properly. Meanwhile, there is a knock at the door.



      In which H is a zombie, again...


      I open the door, and H is standing there. My initial feeling is terror. She looks healthy and pretty, but her hair is wrapped in a tight fitting cloth- not quite a turban. It looks like that part of her head has been wrapped up in plaster bandages that have dried into a cast around her skull. Otherwise, she looks normal.

      Many things rush through my mind in a second. She can't possibly be there because she's dead. Maybe she's not dead and it was all a misunderstanding. No that's not possible- I saw her body, I know she's dead, it's been a year and a half, any misunderstanding would've been cleared up by now. So it's not possible for her to be standing there. Maybe it's not her. I look at her more closely. It is her, she is smiling now and coming inside. I'm terrified because dead people can't come to your house and walk inside. I wonder about the cloth wrapped around her head. Is this is a new fashion? Is it holding her skull together? There was nothing wrong with her skull when I saw her body. She looks young and healthy and happy. I'm going out of my mind with confusion and fear, and more than anything, I want to run, but there is nowhere I can go so I keep backing away from her, slowly, trying to grapple with the impossibility of her presence.

      Ah, I realize, this is a dream.

      I feel slightly less scared, but also exhausted. Usually, in dreams, I'm glad to see her. I try really hard to take advantage of the opportunity to tell her things. I try to focus, but those feelings aren't there this time. I'm just afraid and tired, and I don't want her to be in my dream.

      By now, she's in the kitchen chatting with other people. She's leaning against a wall laughing. She's taller than I am. That's not right. But I shrug my shoulders- it's a dream after all.

      I look up at her. She seems very big now. Her shoulders are wider than usual. I try to give her a hug, but I can't quite reach up to her or wrap my arms around her. She looks down at me, mockingly, and says "Are you going to tell me you love me?" It's what I always tell her when she's in my dream. But now, I feel it's insincere. I look internally, but I can't find feelings for this wide, tall, H-like being with the cloth wrapped around her skull. I realize I'm going to regret it later if I don't tell her that I love her, just on the off-chance that this really is her and it really is a visitation, but I think that lately I've been thinking/talking about her so much that I've projected my own thoughts/words on her to the point that I can't even find the original sincere feelings and memories anymore. It's not been about her- it's become about me and how I tell that part of her story, and I wonder if she'd agree with it and I feel selfish because she's not here to correct it and I wonder if I'd even notice if I slipped into bullshit. You can go so far into your own bullshit that you can't see anything clearly anymore. I should stop talking so much.

      Just as I'm about to walk away, she says, "Are you going to start praying for me now?" The mocking tone stings. She does note my insincerity. Of course I'm not going to pray. I tell her that I'm not going to pray. I don't even believe in god or that she's in heaven or that she's here visiting and it wouldn't make any sense for me to pretend I do just because a dream image that I create asks me such a thing. Then for a second, I see what is maybe something real in her eyes, and I think, oh shit, what if this really is a chance to help her. Why can't I listen? Why can't I turn off my thoughts for a second and really let it be about someone else. I stop my rant. "Why? Do you want me to?" But that little glint is gone, and she is a zombie again, walking towards me, and I'm terrified.

      There is another knock at the door, and I have no idea what is on the other side, but I know it's not good. I rush to the door and lean against it to hold it shut. There is an immense force trying to blow the door in, and I'm digging my heels into the floor trying to keep the door shut. I shout out for the other people in the apartment to come help me, but no one else seems troubled. They tell me just to let the door open, but I know some real horror would fill the room. I'm begging others for help, and finally my mother comes over. She half-heartedly leans against the door with me. She's doing it to make me shut up and perhaps even to comfort me. But she doesn't believe me that we MUST keep out whatever is on the other side.

      My eyes are squeezed tight and I'm still holding the door closed with all my strength when my mother starts telling me to open my eyes and look towards the window. I hear the panic in her voice, so I respond by closing my eyes even tighter. I tell her not to look, not to think about it. This is a dream, so if we don't engage and we don't see anything, nothing can hurt us. If we think of other things and try to keep THESE events out, we'll fall into another dream. But she's insistent that I must open my eyes and see what is happening.

      I do. I look towards the window and see all the people coming in towards us. I only look fast- just a quick scared glimpse- and then I shut my eyes tight again. They are coming towards us. My mom is fully panicking now. I tell her to relax. Focus on her breathing, keep her eyes shut, don't think about what is happening. This is how you can end the dream. It's not real, just relax and don't think about it and it can't hurt you. It will go away. I'm telling her this and focusing on my own breathing. The door starts to feel softer; my head rests on it like its a pillow. I'm thinking of my body, relaxed and floating, and I'm blocking out the sounds and sights around me. But my mother keeps shouting and pulling me back into this dream. I start to think about what is happening. I'm terrified, and I start to think that I need to see who is attacking me so that perhaps I can defend myself. Against my better judgment, I look up again and see the people surrounding us, looking down at us. They are tugging my mom's hair, poking her in the ribs, kicking her legs, tickling her. I tell her again, Don't think about it! Shut your eyes! But then it starts to happen to me too. I've engaged with them. One of them, a woman, starts poking me in the ribs too. It starts out as a tickling annoyance, but it starts to become hostile and suffocating. I start to panic. I start to struggle, and the more I struggle, the more hostile the people become.

      And then, I put a stop to it. This isn't real. This is a dream. I lean against the door. The door is a pillow. I'm in a bed. I focus on my breath. The ribbing and beating and struggling and shouting become softer and more muffled. I stop fighting. I relax. I let it happen because I know it isn't real. Slowly, it passes, and I'm sleeping, warm and soft.


      In which I get an MRI and meet an old friend...

      Someone is shaking my shoulder to wake me. I sit up and see R crouched over me. I look around. We are in a small dark waiting room with some 12 other people. I'm sleeping on the floor, inappropriately. I've passed out drunk, it seems.

      The others are couples or parents with children. The mood is somber and tense. I can tell that they are judging me. What sort of fully grown woman gets so drunk in public in the middle of the day that she has to sleep it off on a waiting room floor? I'm embarrassed.

      I stand up, stumbling a bit, and try to stretch my arms. As I do, I hit an older man who is standing with a cane, and he falls over. He's a large (but not fat) older (but not elderly) black man, dressed in warm layers (coat, blazer, vest, shirt, slacks, boots, city hat). He falls to the ground slowly, and when he hits the ground, his legs fly up into the air. His wife runs to his side. I bend over to try to help him. He's on his back with his legs still up in the air. The wife says nothing, just holds his head in her lap as she glares at me. The fallen man says nothing either. He looks me straight in the eyes, then reaches into his blazer pocket for a wooden professor pipe. He lights it, and then smokes, staring at me from the ground with his legs up in the air. I tell him I'm really sorry, and I mean it. I'm also mortified.

      I walk away and stand with R again. Because I'm inebriated, I lose all sense of reflection and start to act on impulse. I say that I'm going to read while I wait, so I pull out Burroughs' Queer which is what I happen to be reading in real life at the time. I try to read aloud, to entertain the waiting group, but I'm not able to make out the words because I'm so drunk that I see double. I place one hand over my eye and try to read with the other, but it's no good. In my grandiosity, I decide that no one will be able to tell if I simply fake it and make it up as I go along, pretending that I can read.

      I orate. I wave my hands around as I speak. I pace around the crowd, exaggerating my facial expressions for emphasis. They are captivated. They shift in their chairs and stare at me silently. At some point in the story, I realize that I've lost track of my thoughts and that I needed to refer back to something I'd mentioned before, but I couldn't remember what it was. I realize that I'm running out of ways to complete the sentence that I'm on- that the end of this sentence is approaching and that I can't remember what it was I was trying to say. I get there and just stand there with my mouth open, my mind blank, and I blink at the crowd. Did they notice I screwed up? Are they enchanted? Or can they tell I'm making it up as I go along?

      I decide the only way to save face is to claim that this is performance art. I begin to ramble about post-modernism and the deconstructed narratives. I'm keenly aware that I don't actually know what I'm talking about, but I hope they won't be able to tell. I run back over to R and begin to climb up his body. I put my foot on his hip and I grab his arm and hoist myself up until I'm standing on his shoulders. I'm towering above my audience, and I continue my oration, waving my hands madly.

      And then I fall. On the way down, I strike the same older smoking man, and he falls too. We both tumble out of the waiting room and down a flight of stairs. People rush to the older man's side to see if he is OK. They help him stand. They light his pipe. They scowl at me. I'm a fool. I return to R's side, but when I look into his eyes I can tell he's ashamed of me.

      The commotion has caused the management to check on us. A middle aged woman rolls over to us in a wheelchair. She has a hard face with a sharp nose and dark skin. Her hair is swept back from her forehead severely. She's beautiful, but not pretty. We recognize each other instantly. It's TM- a girl I knew in elementary school. Then, we attended different middle schools where she became friends with H, K and S. Then all five of us went to high school together, and though she and I were never close, we always seemed to have a lot in common. Aside from our elementary friendship, we had these mutual friends from her middle school time.

      "C and R!" she shouts. "Fancy meeting you here!" I'm surprised because I haven't seen her since I was in high school so she's surely never met R. For a moment, then, I doubt that it is her. I look right in her face, and yes it is her, but she is quite a bit older looking. I realize that I must look old as well.

      I hug her and ask about the wheelchair. She wasn't in a wheelchair last I saw her. She does not tell me what happened, but instead demonstrates how she can twirl and dance around in her wheelchair. She says she is the star of a reality show in which modeling contestants compete in wheelchair bound dance offs. As she rolls about in her chair demonstrating this, the floor lights up beneath her Billie Jean style and spotlights follow her from above. I mirror her movements beside her, letting her take the lead, and we dance together in front of all the waiting people. See, I think to myself, I'm not a fool. It's fun to be flamboyant.

      She asks about K, and tells me to take a selfie with her and send it to her. R comes over and takes the picture. It's unflattering to both of us. He tries several more times, but there is no improvement. I'm not photogenic, I shrug. She does not ask about H. I keep expecting her too, but she doesn't. If I post the selfie on FB where K can see it, then TM will likely scroll through our pages and learn about H. I wonder if it is better to let that happen or to pull her aside and tell her myself. They were not close. I doubt she could be truly affected. I decide it would be awkward so I leave it alone, even though I realize that I actually want to tell her about it. I want to tell the story to someone who knows H but doesn't know already know what happened. I wish she would ask me about her, but she doesn't.

      Instead, TM explains that she is a nurse and that she and the doctor will guide us through our MRIs. They apologize for the delay, but it is complicated running a recording studio at night and an MRI clinic during the day. We nod our heads. Of course this is complicated.

      The doctor walks me over to my sound board and starts adjusting switches. He wipes down the equipment and clears out the cigarettes and empty beer bottles. The sound boards transform into the shapes of coffins. He hands R a kazoo and asks him to play. R plays poorly. The doctor explains that if I feel that something is wrong inside my sound board, then I should tell R to play the kazoo and he will come over and open it up and let me out. Then he tells me to climb inside. It opens like a coffin, but the interior bed still has volume knobs and sound switches that I'm sure will poke me in the back and be quite uncomfortable. I ask the doctor if he is sure this is safe and if I should take a sedative or something. He guarantees that all will be well. I climb inside, and he starts to lower the coffin lid. Only then to I remember that my podiatrist wrote the wrong diagnosis on my MRI form. Wait! I shout. R plays the kazoo. The doc haults the closing process. I explain that I need my heel imaged, not my ankle. He nods as if he isn't really listening and doesn't really care, and he closes me inside.

      It's uncomfortable and I have no way to communicate with anyone on the outside. I hope that R will make sure everything turns out OK and advocate for me, but I'm not sure that he even cares enough any more. He seems more disappointed or ashamed than anything. I wonder if it's even worth the hassle for him anymore.

      Updated 02-24-2016 at 08:50 PM by 38879

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    13. LD: Jumping

      by , 02-24-2016 at 07:09 PM
      Here is the dream from 2 days ago (the first of the three in a row).

      Lucid Dream:

      It was night and I was with Jeff walking on this path up a hill. We were looking for something (a museum, maybe). At one point I remember lifting up my legs (like when you're a kid holding your parents' hands and letting them swing you along). I think this made me go lucid because I was trying to figure out how I could be doing this while only holding one of Jeff's hands.

      We got to the top of the hill. We were on a kind of covered patio. Behind us was a door. In front of us was a rail where we could look down at a large pool of water far below. I could also see a building and a dock by the water.

      Jeff then says to me, "Did you notice how when we move our hair doesn't move in the wind?" I said, "Yeah, I did notice. I think that's because we're lucid." I then said, "I know a good way to find out for sure if we're dreaming. Let's jump off this and down to the water below. If our hair doesn't move, that means were dreaming."

      Jeff agrees to jump with me. We then run to the edge and hop the railing. I didn't even think to try to fly. I feel super heavy and we fall fast. I notice feeling that very real feeling of my stomach lurching as I fall. The fall is long enough that I had the chance to look over at Jeff and see that his hair is perfectly still. I call out to him and point that out.

      Finally we hit the water and sink quickly to the bottom like a heavy rock. I'm a hundred percent positive that this is a dream now, so I don't worry about breathing. In fact, I start to talk to Jeff under the water.


      And that's all I remember.
    14. Stomach surgery

      by , 02-24-2016 at 06:45 PM
      I am on the top of a tower with my girlfriend's best friend. It's kind of like Sauron's tower in Lord of the Rings, except it's not dark and scary around here. It's bright and sunny and beautiful, except it's supposed to be midnight. We reason that it's due to time zones, but a few moments later I'm questioning it again. It looks like mid-afternoon but it's supposed to be midnight. Then it clicks. I look at J. I say, "You know why we can't figure this out? It's because we're dreaming." I shake his shoulders for emphasis. But I don't get lucid. Everything seems so deceptively real. When I shut my eyes and scrunch them and focus on waking up, I can't fathom how any of this could be a dream.

      But then another few moments pass. I can feel the dream slipping, like I'm on the verge of waking up. So then I say, "Wake up."

      I wake up in the bed of another dream. I'm still not lucid, but I know it's a dream. I'm in what was my younger sister's bedroom of my mom's house. A dream sign missed.

      I leave and go exploring. I have to go to some high school graduation of an all-boy's school.

      On the way there, we run into some bosses that remind me of the difficult bosses from FFVII. I tell my gf and her friend that we have to save our progress before fighting them, because they are in an inconvenient spot of the game and losing would keep us trapped here and unable to level up. We fight them. I'm unsure if we beat them, but we get passed them.

      I need surgery on my stomach. Then I'm on a surgeon's table. They only give me a local anasthetic. I watch the doctor take a blade specifically for cutting humans. I see the blade approaching me from his perspective, but then I look away because I don't want to see. Cut to after the surgery. I get incredibly nauseous and my fever spikes. The nurses ask me if I'd eaten anything before the surgery. I remember eating breakfast. I should have known. I tell them I didn't know I wasn't supposed to eat.

      The doctor prescribes me a huge bag of orange vicodin. I am afraid of becoming addicted, and also of my gf finding out and freaking out about it. I'm not in any pain, but I do feel like my insides are not what they used to be. It is very uncomfortable. I leave and go to the high school graduation.

      I'm sitting in the bleachers of this small schoolyard. The valedictorian and his best friend are leading the event. They have so much energy and look so bright and happy. The best friend looks like a younger BM. The valedictorian is small and in shape. I reflect on being younger, and that it's strange how quickly that youth seems far away.

      After the graduation, someone fights me. I'm still weak from the surgery. They flip me over and stomp on my stomach. I curl up and cry, I can't believe they would do that. K comes to me and I ask her if I can take some pain medication. I show her the bag and she freaks out at how much the doctor gave me. That shouldn't be allowed. One of the women in the schoolyard looks hungrily at the bag, and salivates while doing so. I take the bag back and hide it on my person.
    15. LD: Authors and Space Battles

      by , 02-24-2016 at 06:30 PM
      Lucid dreams three days in a row. I'm on a roll. I love it.

      I did a Wake Back to Bed. The beginning of the dream is fuzzy. I can't remember the moment I became lucid. I remember standing in the kitchen of an author (one I had recently been reading about in real life). He was an older man but still very nice looking. I knew I was dreaming at this point so I went up to him and started to kiss him. He seemed very happy to kiss me back. The next thing I know is we are in his bedroom. He is partly undressed and climbing into bed. I look around and see his wife's stuff all around me, on the nightstand, floor, on the bed. Even though I knew this was a dream this suddenly felt completely wrong. I wanted nothing to do with this. I needed to leave.

      But since I did know this was a dream I decided to be creative about it. I went back out into the living room. There were helium balloons all around from a party for one of his kids. I grabbed a large bunch of them, holding them by the strings. I went back into the bedroom and told the author to follow me out to the front yard. We both walked out of the house and into the yard. I then told him I needed to leave. And at that point I let the balloons start carrying me up into the air. He looked at me sadly as I left, saying nothing. I floated higher and higher.

      I suddenly came to the edge or top of a large dome. I "remembered" that this city was under a dome, that it was a protection from something out in the world. (I think I was a little less lucid now--at least I was letting a new story line pull me in.) I wanted to see what was out there, what this city was being protected from. I floated around looking for a door of some sort. I finally found a door-like opening and exited the dome.

      To my surprise a huge space battle was happening right outside the dome (think the first scene of Star Wars III only closer to the land). All kinds of space ships large and small were whizzing by me shooting at each other. I was still clinging to the balloons. I must have been lucid enough to know I couldn't get hurt because I wasn't worried at all. I thought this was amazing to witness a battle like this so close up. The "graphics" were incredible (thank you mind). I watched this happening all around me for a while before deciding to land and see what was happening on the ground.

      I found myself in a building. People that I knew were "enemies" were all around me. I no longer had the balloons but I knew I could still float, and I also made myself invisible. I hovered near the fairly low ceiling. At some point someone figured out that I was there and for the next 15-20 minutes or more (that's what it felt like) I was moving from place to place in the building trying to avoid capture. I was never really worried, but found this rather exciting. I knew that they couldn't catch me, or if they did it wouldn't be bad. At one point I remember finding a room with a baby. I woke up the baby and had to put it back to sleep. I also found myself in a kids room with a lot of bunk beds.

      And that's all I remember.

      Although I do remember a scene that I have no idea where it fits in. At one point when I was quite lucid I remember looking for something to eat. I went out from a house into a backyard and found a fruit tree. This tree had strange fruit on it. They were large and green. I picked one and found that the rind was very tough. The one I picked had split open, though, so I could easily pull the rind back and get to the fruit. It was white and soft and creamy--almost like a banana that's been put in a blender. It was very sweet and tasted a bit like a vanilla milkshake, but not as cold. I sucked it out, not having to chew it at all. It was quite good.
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