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Nothing last night neither (d'oh) - what a life!

Still with the white lines tho', which is actually quite interesting in its own right?

It really feels as though you're seeing the room through closed eyes!

I know it's probably not really doing that, but why is it happening + why also the strange consistency?

I'd have thought of 'inventing' something like that to happen!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it 'might' be something!

One can but live in hope...

1/3/16:
I remembered about 3-4 dreams when I woke up but I forgot to write them down as getting extra sleep was a major priority, so I can only half remember one or two now.
Dream 1: I was in a room in a building underground with a ladder reaching up to the surface level. I kept on trying to climb up it to escape but was continually forced back down, because I was a heretic or something. I kept on trying with different costumes and tried flying and stuff but nothing worked, they weren't fooled.

Dream 2: I was on a large waterslide with my little brother. I was facing backwards and watching him to make sure he was alright. The slight was pretty cool with a massive drop where we got some air at the end.

A very long dream. It surely must have been multiple connected dreams, but I never explicitly chained. Nonethless, even while morphing, the narrative was strong and connected throughout. There are just a few spots of lucidity but some very rich thematic content. I don't have DILDs so often anymore, but when I do they become these sprawling bizarre sagas.

M*A*S*H

We begin in a large army tent. I am attending a reunion of the cast of the TV show M*A*S*H and I recognize several of the actors. They perform a skit, satirizing the show (which, itself, was also a satire). Alan Alda is playing the role of Hunnicut and the actor who played Hunnicut is playing Hawkeye. This is evident because they have swapped hair styles. Or maybe it's Trapper instead of Hunnicut. We all think it's hilarious. Soon it's time for bed and everyone finds a makeshift spot on the furniture or the ground to sleep on. As the lights go dark, I hear Colonel Potter shout something. I think to hush him, but first I wait a beat in the hopes that no one else was disturbed. It's quiet for a moment. But after another beat, everyone starts shushing the Colonel at the same time. It's as if everyone was thinking the same thing as I was: to wait and see if anyone else will act before taking action for oneself.

I get up and slip out of the room. Perhaps I was thinking to go to the kitchen to get some water for the Colonel. As I exit that room, I am now in the Daisetta house. In the dining room ajoining the kitchen, I find more characters on the floor, trying to sleep. But one of them is listening to a radio and that is preventing them all from sleeping. The man with the radio turns out to be J, who is technically my Godfather even though we have long since lost contact. I help him up and quietly get him to turn off the radio.

"What are you doing on the floor?" I'm not fully lucid, but I am aware that I am visiting a place from my past. "We had a futon in this house, you could have slept there." I turn to lead him to the office/guest room, but in our path enters my sister. Uh-oh. Not this. (Dreams with my sister tend to be boring, so I have developed the reflex to avoid her.) I turn back around. You're on your own Godfather, lotsa luck. Walking away leads me into the kitchen, which is a dead-end. Trapped! Survival instinct kicks in: I had better eat. I scan the fridge and pantry, looking for something to eat. Anything to lead the narrative somewhere else. Not finding anything, I turn to the counter and my sister is still there. Grrr.

A Strange Orange (but not clockwork)

On the counter are some oranges, so I grab one and start peeling it. Looking more closely, it's a strange orange. It's not full and round, but rather shrunken and withered. It doesn't seem spoiled though. Opening it, I find the center is hollow and surrounded by a dryish pith with stringy fibers and seeds. Quite like a pumpkin. I intuit that my Godfather brought these along with him with his visit. They are some rare variety and he gives them as gifts as a novelty. It's quaint, but pretentious, so thinks I. And I would be an expert on pretentiousness.

My sister is still there, watching me struggle with this orange. She imposes: "You have to remove the seeds like this." She demonstrates scraping her fingernails along the string fibers to free the seeds, which are also rather pumpkin-like. My indignation boils. Oh yes, please, Your Highness. Won't you educate me in the fine art of orange peeling? Liberate me from my ignorance. Sarcasm notwithstanding, I copy her anyway. It's tedious removing the seeds and I'm almost done but really just want to taste the thing once.

Before I can taste the orange, my labor is interrupted by the voice of my mother from some other room. "Bring your sister!" It's not a bad idea. Ditch the sister with the mother and let them annihilate each other like matter and anti-matter.

I wander through a few rooms, following the sound of her voice. But now it seems that I'm in an airport, as if I have just picked up my sister from travel and now we are to find the parking lot. We exit through a side door and are briefly in a courtyard with tables for eating. There sits my father. My sister and I walk past. I say, "Oh by the way, there's your father." We glance, but just walk on by and through another door.

More doors and now we're back in the dining room of the Daisetta house. Sigh, I'm always going in circles. Still pushing that rock, eh Sisyphus? Can Penance with no end be fairly called Penance? I think the right word is Damnation.

The DCs from before are gone. Just me and sister. I sit at the dining table. She sits too and pulls out my laptop. She starts typing something and, as I peek at the screen, I see she's writing a journal entry using the same software that I use. I become rather nervous that she might have read one of my journal entries. On the other hand, at this moment, it is me who is snooping on her journal. Tu quoque?

I stare at the screen. I notice that she uses a font different from the default, like I do, both in my dream journal and personal journal. Her font choice is much stranger though, almost wingdings. I continue to stare, trying to read the words but distracted by the font and how each letter shows an animation as it is added, simulating a typewriter effect (or affect). The periphery of the scene fades to black around the glowing screen.

"Can" and "Should"

The software on the screen changes into what looks like an image-editing program. This change seems to have disrupted the entire scene. Maybe we're through to the other side of this modern looking-glass? We are still in the dining room but it's no longer my sister using the computer, it's a teen-aged girl. As best I can tell in the dim light, she has dark brown, almost black, hair cut to shoulder length and very pale skin. She might have a stud piercing in her lip or nose, I forget which. She is aware of me but pays me no mind. She is as entranced by the glowing screen as I was.

Without a word or a glance, she hands me the device, which is now a tablet instead of a laptop. She pulls out another one for herself and resumes her revery. Now in control of my own device, I try to determine exactly what this software does. I see that it is called "Tiny Perfect" but that doesn't give much hint to its function yet. I am first given the option of a range of numbers. I choose 18-19. Now, a grid of pixels appears with some more guide lines overlayed on the grid. I intuit that 18-19 is the number of pixels in length of the side of a square area. With this square now defined, I can choose an area of the image to clip. The image on the screen is of the dark-haired girl (no doubt a selfie she took when she was holding it). I clip the area around her face. The software makes a scissor-snip sound and clips the face. It then transforms that realistic face into a cartoonish avatar, and shrinks it to the size of an icon. I guess that's what "Tiny Perfect" means. This little image now slides into a collection of many similar images of girls faces, all practically the same, only differing in the shade of color for skin and hair. I am not impressed by this modern tool of vanity. (He wrote. "He" being the author of a public dream journal.) Yet another feat of software that is all about coulda, not shoulda.

A second girl enters, perhaps the friend of the other one and about the same age. This new girl has long straight blonde hair and just a bit more complexion in her face. Freckles, maybe? Besides the slightly different features, these two girls belong to the same "type," if I may so judge. Without a word or acknowledgement, this girl sits in my lap and takes the tablet from me. And just like the brunette, this blonde assumes an empty gaze at the screen.

I am confused and annoyed. My attention turns to my body, with this strange girl taking residence in my lap like it was nothing. I put my hand on her leg, but she doesn't react. She wears black skinny jeans. I move my hand up her inner thigh, but still no reaction. Conflicting urges and cognitive dissonance fill my mind, which ironically causes my lucidity to peak. Very literally, lucidity means "clear thinking" but that would be the opposite of my mental state. I simultaneously feel desire and aversion to this little jailbait. Knowing that this is a dream only complicates things. The wiser part of me steers my inner thoughts from What CAN I do? to What SHOULD I do?

Yes, what should I do? Always with the questions, I am. I should... I should fuck this chick silly. Why not? No, I should slap this little brat from jumping into my lap. Respect another person's space. That'll teach her. No, I should take her tablet away. That will really make her mad. An eye for an eye, a tablet for a tablet. But I catch myself and reflect. Is Vengence what I really want here? Sadly, the word "should" only invites my self-righteous side. However, I know enough about myself to steer away from that course too.

Okay, forget CAN and SHOULD. What was I SUPPOSED to do? The right question makes for an easier answer. Rather than make a choice right now, let me instead trust in a choice that I had previously made, when I was in a more reasonable state of mind (that is, when I was non-lucid; the irony continues). I was supposed to bring something to my mother. Okay, yes, let's do that.

Bureaucrazy

Having chosen a new plan but not a very interesting one, my lucidity is fading now as I return to some more rote territory. I leave the dining room. Of course, the two girls take no notice -- still and forever staring at their screens. I enter the door for the master bedroom, but now it seems I'm back in the parking lot next to the airport. I walk out into the clear day. Nice to be outdoors. Though a bit glum. It's a smoggy airport, all concrete and the noxious smell of fuel. I walk to a nearby administration building, wherein I will find the office my mother works in.

I navigate office hallways. It's busy and crowded. Over-crowded, I'd say. Some offices, some cubicles, characters having conversations in hallways on benches and standing. Dull, flickering florescent lights reveal the aging white walls and plain, cheap furnishings. I notice that everyone is dressed casually. I get the help of someone, a tall black man who seems to know where everything is and keeps a positive and friendly disposition. I find that surprising, considering that I imagine working in a crowded and busy place like this would burn me out very quickly. In my mind, I walk a mile in his shoes and it doesn't seem very pleasant. Some people are just different though, and they thrive on sociability. My mother is like that, and that's probably why she's here. And why we have so little in common.

I finally find her office, but our encounter is brief. I deliver her some paperwork. I think it was a questionnaire I had completed for her. She tells me to talk to someone with a G-name who will lead me back to the parking lot. But she warns me strongly not to listen to another woman with an L-name, even though this person works in the parking lot.

I leave her office. I'm not sure I understood her directions. How will I recognize who these Mr. G and Ms. L persons are? Besides, I just came from the parking lot -- can't I find my way back on my own? How do you get lost in a public building like this? I mean, it might be a bit confusing but there are always signs and maps to guide visitors. But just as I'm entering a hallway that leads to a clearly marked exit, a man stops me and introduces himself as Mr. G and starts to turn me around back toward the office cubicles. Just as I turn, in the distance of the hallway that leads to the exit, I hear a woman shout at me while she is restrained by guards. "Wait! I'm L! I can show you the way!" That's weird. But she gets lost in the sea of people crowding the hallway.

Mr. G leads me through the building to a meeting room where many other people -- employees, as I take them -- are waiting for a meeting to start. Mr. G says he will be back soon with the directions I need and I should wait here. He leaves and the tall man from before enters, still friendly and sociable, but I start to suspect he's meant to guard the door so I don't leave. I take in the room. There's about 30 people, mostly in a ring around the edge of the room, leaning on desks and chairs. They are waiting that kind of impatient waiting that happens when people are in public and becoming bored and frustrated, but know well enough to remain civil. As before, they are all dressed casually and, as I look a bit longer, I notice about half of them are wearing Denver Broncos gear. Hmm. Fair-weather fans... Of the remaining half, there's still a lot of football teams represented on their clothes. And most of them are chewing gum, which peeves me.

Gauche... I snark, and smile a cruel grin of self-amusement. But again, I scold myself for my recurring misanthropy, this time in the form of elitism. Lest ye be judged, I remind myself. Once again, the dissonance rekindles my lucidity. If I'm dreaming then these aren't real people, so what does it matter if I judge them? Point. But if I'm dreaming, then these characters are me, so isn't the judgement directed at yourself? Counter-point. They's probably looking at me, so what cruel judgements might they be making of me? Point. But if we're all doing the same thing against each other, don't we all share some universal commonality? Counter-point. Caught once again in my own paradoxes, I again resolve to just accept the experience and continue.

What was I supposed to be doing? Right, the directions from Mr. G. C'mon, man. Let's giddyup, I don't want to be stuck here. On cue, the tall man gets my attention and leads me back out to the central cubicle area where we find Mr. G, who hands me a slip of white paper taped to a folded piece of red paper. They bid me a hasty goodbye. I find a relatively quiet corner of the room and examine the papers, first the white. In pencil, there are some neatly written instructions: "Take the 474 to the 929, but you must arrive before 5."

Wait, what? I look around for Mr. G or the tall man, but they are gone. Are these numbers of freeways or bus lines? Was 474 supposed to be 747? Is that an airplane? My dismay grows into frustration. I was just going to the parking lot! I drove here! Why would I need a bus or a flight?! I look back at what I'm holding, in particular the red paper to which the note was taped. If it were a bus schedule, that might make things clear. But no, it's a pamphlet that describes how to submit a formal complaint with the office administration. That really pisses me off. Yes, I have a complaint. No, I do not delight in this irony (not at the time anyway, later maybe). I draw a short but powerful breath, like I'm going to start throwing punches.

My lucidity is now overflowing. Fuck. This. Place. I turn to the hallway, which is conveniently once again that straight path with the clearly marked exit at the end. I storm through the crowd full of resolve but not much purpose, if that makes sense. Without a plan I walk through the exit. I suppose my intent was: Anywhere but here!

Can you tame a crocodile?

I exit and once again I am outdoors. No office buildings. No parking lot. No airport. Not even the house. I'm in a bright and vivid park. The sky is clear. There's grass and trees and curving stone pathways. I see circus-like tents and stages. I hear splashing water and barking seals. I must be in an animal-themed amusement park. There are people strolling. A blond-haired man in front of me laughs a hearty laugh as he speaks into a cellphone with an English accent.

I draw another breath, this time long and calming. I feel almost dizzy with relief and my lucidity eases to a lower but still acceptable level. I was supposed to get back to the parking lot. But I can do that later. I'm here, and apparently, I got in for free. So why not take advantage and spend the day here? Then I'll find the parking lot.

I walk toward one of the attractions, which is partly obscured by trees but it seems to be a giant pool in the middle of an amphitheater shaded by awnings. I hear more splashes and that giggling sound that dolphins make. It must be a water show. Drawn to it, I start walking along the paths through grass. I'm startled though, as I see a rustle in the grass to my left. It's a green crocodile, facing away from me but clear as day. It pauses, then scutters a few steps and eats a smaller crocodile in one huge bite. The croc now become larger and its skin turns from green to yellow. It moves forward again and eats yet another croc in one bite and becomes yet larger. It's skin turns to brown.

I am a bit frightened. At least the thing is moving away from me. But in so moving, it's getting closer to a young boy who is playing on the grass. He has blond hair with a light blue shirt and shorts in a darker shade of blue. I don't act or even speak, but I feel a sense of panic for him: Kid, get away from the crocodile! I look back at the animal. They really shouldn't have these roaming free in the park! As I watch, I analyze. And a semblance of logic progresses. But they wouldn't do that if they were dangerous... So they must not be dangerous. Maybe they are tame crocodiles... Can you tame a crocodile?

My panic has been replaced with curiosity. I take a closer look at the croc and realize that it is actually a series of animatronic puppets. They move and light up in particular sequence to give the illusion of eating and growing bigger. The series repeats over and over, merely for amusement.

Relieved, I turn my vision elsewhere. But just to my right, I'm startled again. This time, there's a growling brown bear starting at me. Its fur trembles as it growls. Again, I feel fear but begin to recover. Ah, got me with that one... Another convincing puppet, right? Like the crocodile, right? I stare at the bear for a moment, looking for some evidence that it is indeed a fake. It doesn't move. And enough time passes that it seems it won't move. And no one else around me is afraid, so it must be just another amusement. As if on cue to confirm my belief, another young boy runs, jumps, and plants his foot on the bear, he balances and poses briefly, and then pushes off. A sort of parkour stunt perhaps. This confirms that the bear is just a fake piece of the scenery. Yet privately, I am thankful to this kid for helping to ease my concern.

That was enough thrill for one day. Now, where's that parking lot?

I was in home. My sister was tidying the house, everyone was preparing for some kind of holiday. I took a little kitten to train for a tournament. I heard a voice that told me to look a cat into its eyes, and if it roars, the cat would serve me forever. Then I went to help my mother drill into a thick glass plate using electric tools. Next day it was the tournament time. I went to my kitchen and saw a samurai sitting on a chair and holding a box full of kittens. I went to him and said "Greetings emperor! I am from a Ponk restaurant, joining in to fight to restore my honor!" Suddenly I looked inside his box, there were many different little kittens inside. One of them looked into my eyes and roared.

So in my dream I saw him again but then everything became very bright and I realized he was a guy I went to highschool with. I said his name and he smiled. Suddenly, I was in a room sitting, there were various family members also in the room. He kept trying to get close and finally ended up standing beside me. I got him to sit in the chair with me whenever I realized we were sweating. I woke up in real life and adjusted my blankets and went back to sleep. Then I was in a grocery store looking for a stand for a sculpture I had made, and he recognized me. I said hello and he asked me why I wasn't wearing a jacket. I replied," becuase I'm not cold." He then grabbed my hand and then wrapped himself around me," You're freezing." Then I woke up.

Just weird dream related things from February. I had a number of precognitives as well, but I might put them in their own entry.

--- --- --- --- ---

Hypnapompia. A woman is to my left, speaking with energetic curiosity.
"Your eye, when it glows white, what does that mean?" She asks. I snap awake, and know not how to respond.

--- --- --- --- ---

I am sleeping on the couch in my friend's house. I experience a strong thought several times during the night. I am not dreaming at the time, and the thought wakes me up completely.
'He is here, now, in my presence, in this room.' I have no recollection of the thoughts preceding this. It is potent enough to spur me to instantly awaken and open my eyes wide, observing the room. Each time, I see nothing out of the ordinary, and return to sleep.

--- --- --- --- ---

A surprisingly vivid dream. I am lying in an open-plan apartment. The visuals are acute, but I do not know this place. Sparks fly down from above me. I turn around to look in the top left corner behind me, knowing that there is an entity present, bit my vision is spun back around against my will. I try again, and the visuals are distorted, flipping the room and returning my view to the front. On my third attempt, I can look up, but see nothing except for a hazy invisible aura. I become tired and lean back in my hammock. I feel like I am being drained, all my energy is gone, and I fall down exhausted and hardly able to move. There are kittens beneath me! I need to save them or I'll crush them, but my movement is dragging.
I am aware of a change afterwards. I know that I have to remember the full sequence of events and I set to reciting them while still in the dream. Suffice it to say, I have since forgotten.

--- --- --- --- ---

Manage to hold vibratory hypnagogia for a full hour or so. Lots of weird visuals, but nothing out of the ordinary besides the duration.
A dream from later that day. I am loaded into a canon on a satellite orbiting high above the Earth's atmosphere. I am fired down a long tube towards the ground. I fall so very far and for so long. I am not sure how to hold my body as I streak through the air. I am very aware of where my limbs are. Eventually I hit the Earth and tumble across the ground. I'm perfectly fine but my equipment is a little damaged.
"Next time I should remember to deploy my parachute," I say out loud.

--- --- --- --- ---

I'm outside in a suburban neighbourhood with a real-life friend and his mate. We are smoking, and staring up at the night sky. There are three moons. We think it's very strange, and wonder how the optical illusion could be caused. Shame I missed the lucidity cue.

--- --- --- --- ---

I am with the Sentinel and a number of others. I know they are my protectors. White robes cover their eyes. I am not lucid, and in my office at work. They are discussing something amongst themselves, a metaphysical topic which I do not understand. In my non-lucid state, I seem not to mind. I look out the window and see that the sky is dark with thunderheads, a storm approaches. In the street below, I see the strangest anomaly. A huge thick cloud of a dusty, ochre, gaseous condensation. Thick, black, plasmatic streamers coil within, like electric water waiting to discharge. It is dangerous and very vivid. It passes by beneath us, we go unnoticed. I note that the streets are still dry, and people carry umbrellas but they are closed. I expected it to have left a torrent of rain in its wake and am quite surprised.

--- --- --- --- ---

I pull on a blue poncho that I am offered and conjure my reflection before me to see how it looks. My head is gone! I laugh, thinking that this is amazing. I tilt my head around, trying to see if my eyes have fallen down the trunk of my neck. A friend approaches, and seems perturbed by my odd behaviour. I exuberantly tell them that my head is missing, but they look confused. I turn back to my reflection and am dismayed to see that everything has returned to normal.

--- --- --- --- ---

I am sleeping on the floor of my friend's room. At some point during one of my dreams, I become aware of a dark presence closing in around me. It slowly tightens its circle, a fear-inducing blackness beyond. I rush around frantically, unsure of what to do. I call on the Sentinel, and I feel his presence appear. He urges me to scream, and so I do, but instead of a cry of fear the most ungodly sound comes out of my throat. It sounds like the wail of a banshee. The sound immediately banishes and drives away the encroaching darkness. I force me eyes open, and in the darkness of the room I see a glowing blue face.
'It's just an illusion,' I remind myself, and it fades away. But I was not the only one who had bad dreams that night.

--- --- --- --- ---

I smoked some mugwort for the first time. I had a lot of fairly vivid dreams, and while I did not become lucid, some part of me was aware as though I was. I began practising dream control exercises which I normally would have done while lucid. I teleported around, surprised that it came easily to me. I also attempted to change the colour of a rock to yellow. In the dream, I was convinced I had failed, but when I awoke to record the dream I could only remember the rock ever being yellow, so I suppose it had worked even better than expected.

--- --- --- --- ---

Hypnapompia. I am a girl; blue, silver, watery, lunar. I pass into another space and now I am a boy; red, gold, fiery, solar. But I am still the same person.

--- --- --- --- ---

Some strange pseudo-sleepwalking. My muscles hurt, so I lie out on the floor of my bedroom. As I fall asleep, it feels as if I fall out of my body and through the floor. No dreams, but after some time, my room mate moves about in the hall and startles me. I open my eyes sitting on the edge of my hammock. I know that I had hurriedly stood up from the floor and moved to the side of the room, but I was definitely not conscious while it happened. It takes me a while to shake the disorientation.

--- --- --- --- ---

I am inside a collection of shops in my hometown. I become lucid, but I have not stabilised well. I stagger about to find some dream characters to harass. I barge into a room, and several people turn to look at me. I begin to speak, but its apparent that I'm not holding onto my lucidity well. It falls away and I wander off to go and rake some leaves.

--- --- --- --- ---

I am with a friend in a bed within the dream. We want to sleep peacefully but I am afraid of the house. As we are lying there, I sight a black mass entering through the door. My friend tries to calm me down, but I begin to panic and awake. I realise that the image is of actual objects in my room, but rotated 90 degrees to the left. As I awake, the visuals pivot to their correct alignment before my eyes. My head had not turned, only the image in my mind. It was very bizarre.

I have decided to, from now on, note bedtimes and times of awakening in this journal. I think this will help me analyse what sleep schedule is best for my dream recall, since it has been quite inconsistent the last few days.

Went to bed: 22:30
Fell asleep: 23:00
Awakening 1: 01:30 (no dreams recalled)
Fell asleep: 02:00
Final awakening: 06:30 (two fragments recalled)

My recall was not amazing this night but tonight it's going to be great!

I recall two fragments. The themes were all a bit negative and a dark atmosphere persevered through my dreams.

Fragment 1: alone at the carnival

I was outside some seemingly desolated building. It felt like it was late at night, it was dark and gloomy. Inside the building I knew was some carnival attraction. I think it resembled the Break Dance (see this picture). I was negotiating with myself whether I wanted to go or not. Part of me wanted to ride, but I didn't want to be the only one on the thing. I walked into the building and to my surprise I found that the attraction was packed. From there I don't recall what happened, but I think I decided not to ride in the end.

Fragment 2: college friends played a prank on me

I was sitting in a hall that I think was supposed to resemble a lecture hall, but it was not sloped and quite small. S was sitting to my right, R to his right, and N to his right in turn. I have no idea what was going on to my left. We were looking at a powerpoint that was being presented. On the current slide were four pictures equally divided over the slide. I have no idea what was on three of the slides, but on the bottom right one was a picture of a bodybuilder with my face from a photo from when I was 12 photoshopped on top of his face. I felt really miserable and disappointed in my friends seeing that. I looked at them and all three of them were laughing. I got a little angry and asked them why they did this. They apologized but couldn't stop laughing. Their eyes held not the slightest trace of regret. I got angrier and shouted at them (I don't remember what) and felt really disrespected. Then I think I went on to other dreams, or I would've recalled it better.

I find it strange to have had three of these negative, dark and unfriendly dreams in the last two days. I wonder what it could mean, but most of all I hope my dreams will be more positive from now. It doesn't really affect my mood negatively, but normally my dreams do affect my mood positively, so I would like to get back to that again.

+ son and "gf" friend: I'm rooting for him to take her hand and hold it as they walk and he does!

The power goes off and we rush to make sure that the kids haven't been stolen.

Son is off with GF's parents and they're talking to him and he's younger, I go to him and he's eating a big bowl of cereal at the table with them, and I ask him it's he's OK eating here or he could come back to us (parents). The wife of GF parent couple is spouting random comments about computer languages. "The problem with (???) [language] was that the compiler was written in RATFOR". I say "I've always found I gravitated towards USEFUL languages....just kidding"

Son is lagging behind with GF inside while we walk away. I hope he works up the nerve to have his first kiss with her. He comes out and looks really happy, I say "well SOMEBODY has a spring in his step....?!" and he explains that she said she likes him and wants to be with him, but MZ keeps saying that HE is her boyfriend even though she doesn't like him

+ awesome flying/gliding with hand control down CD by LH museum, fly into the arms of my wife standing on the side of the road with our kids. I wanted to take the kids back up the hill in the car and show them how to do it. What a great idea, with a car you could effortless just drive up and keep flying down again!

Then colleague is showing me some doors I can't see them people are in the way. We're standing outside the offices of a small tech company and waiting for tech support, each office has a door to the outside and the pattern of lights visible through the windows indicates which office will be the next to help the customers. But the windows are all dark. Someone says that means they're all out, I say "(it's friday?), maybe the lights are off for a LAN deathmatch party?". I open a door and see a dark office inside with a game running on a monitor and say "See!?"

It's dark now outside and we're still waking for tech support. We've set up 3 ping-pong tables, and people are playing and drinking beer and eating, the food and drinks are on the tables. I see one guy try a couple of serves, he doesn't know how to play and the awkwardly hits the ball off the end of the table every time.

It's light now and in the distance I see huge pizzas covering tables/the whole area with people seated at the tables. Hundreds of square feet of pizza! I declared, "And the land was flowing with PIZZA and honey!" They were bringing more on open bed carts (like the big ones at Home Depot), they were all just plain crusts actually except for some were stuffed with cheese like quesadillas.

BTS mojo
bunch of quick dreams while dozing

+ (semi) with GL outside door decide to kiss her, feel her lips, basically lucid but no affirmation, try for quick BJ but stop, we go inside and talk with people there

+ my wife points out the broken glass in our kitchen which I'm leaning up against, I say that's what you get when you hold a gorilla party in your house (which we had done earlier)

I'm sneaking in to a large auditorium where they're keeping the gorillas. It's dark. I stick my head in and I see off to the right, the shadows of some guards sparring. I decide to get out of there and get kind of stuck and can't see and hope the gorillas don't get me.

+ wife is catering a huge event for hundreds of people (how can she do that, she's never done anything like that before?), a guy is setting up the audio equipment and I look at it noticing channels that I think are the audio signal, an assistant hands the blocks to him and he puts it together and music plays out. Then woodwind musicians are setting up around me, I look around and I'm surrounded by woodwind players in a circle. They're playing. There are two guys of my instrument. They're good. I have my instrument and want to play along but there's nowhere to sit, "Yeah, play!" they say. So I decide to play standing up. They're already playing a rhythmic tune kind of like a fanfare (like the 20th century fox movie opening music, sort of similar) so I start out a low G, "dut duhh duhh, dut dut dut duhhhhh, " move to a B, and the others come in on the G, now we're in harmony, "dut duhh duhh, dut dut dut duhhhhh, " I move to D and another comes in on G and the other moves to B so now we have 3-way harmony, "dut duhh duhh, dut dut dut duhhhhh, " then I go crazy playing fast scales up and down.

+ garage old dog "L" growling (he's hungry) neighbors in garage we have tea, where's the teapot there it is, watch it in operation it's really strange and has lots of moving parts like a pumping bellows. I'm stuck there's no way through the stuff in the garage, I'm falling over the things trying to move through and pull myself hard on things to stop from falling over.

+ LD#180 I'm up on the street outside our garage, I want to go flying to the park. I notice PG and CG are there, that's odd, they're never together, haven't seen them in a long time together, but I don't want to "stop and chat" since I want to go flying. I decide to be polite to the elderly mother and say hello. She is just a disembodied head at this point sitting on the ground at the end of their driveway. She's wearing a (red?) scarf wrapped around blocking out her whole face. The head sprouts leg/wing fleshy things and waddles/runs away back towards her house, she got scared of me.

I go back down my driveway and I'm holding a really large version of one of those decorative wine bottles that has a long, skinny top and a large, bulbous bottom. This one has been in the family for a long time. It's about two-meters long. I'm holding the tall skinny end trying to set it down gently but the bulb hits the concrete garage floor too hard and breaks. The handle breaks in my hands as well, I'm pretty upset by this, after all this time and it just breaks. I'm pissed because I don't want to clean this up, my dad says "that's OK I have time I'll clean it up." I go back up to the street, and I sense my sister behind me, I feel slightly inhibited to fly by this but will go ahead anyway.

I point at where the head thing was, and say out loud, "THAT was a dream thing!" I'm now lucid. Quick nose pinch confirms. So I decide to go flying. I remember a new goal of going to the Playboy mansion for some fun. I see a house a few blocks away where a party is going on. I decide that is the Playboy party and head towards it. I'm flying really slowly, though, I imagine I have jets blasting out of my feet to propel me forwards but it doesn't do anything. I fly over a guy sitting at a table below me. I air swim and make slow progress towards the party but get there, and I imagine there will be all sorts of hawt girls there. I land and I start talking with (the parents of one of the "bunnies"?) and
I wake up.

FAILED REALITY CHECK

1) My wife is driving a car, we have to get across a wide gap.

2) I in the garden of my old house. I'm running around doing laps and timing myself. It's midnight so I decide it's time to go in and start picking up my things. I see my father looking down from his bedroom window. I unplug everything (there are mains sockets at the end of the lawn) and have difficulty holding everything. Then I'm in the house, for some reason I'm in the front bedroom and I'm trying to clean some marks off an old cupboard. Then I'm at the back and I'm cleaning a toilet using a high pressure hose. A man walks in behind me and he is angry that I woke him and his family up, so I explain that I didn't realise there was anyone else in the house. He seems quite happy with my explanation and we end up chatting like friends. The scene shifts and I'm outside a pub in Hampstead and I have just bought a pint of beer. The landlady comes over to me and says I have to have my pint inspected by a pub inspector, there's a sticker on the window telling me that this could happen so I accept it and walk inside. The inspector looks at my beer and puts it on the table whislt I sit and wait. He starts eating some cake but doesn't offer me any, then some of his colleagues behind him talk about getting some lunch and order sandwiches, the inspector asks me if I know where the ladies toilets are as his colleague needs to go. I notice that he has drunk most of my beer so I give up and walk outside feelign a bit disappointed. I think how late it is and I need to get home but home is miles away so I need to get to my old house in Hampstead to get some sleep, but then start worrying that there won't be any sheets for the bed. I walk up a hill and it's very grassy with a lovely path through the trees. Then I get into an old house and I find myself in a back room - it's slightly odd becasue it's dug straight into the soil with a door higher up and the door is locked. I THINK THIS IS EXACTLY THE SORT OF THING THAT WOULD HAPPEN IN A DREAM AND DECIDE TO LOOK AT MY HANDS, I SEE I HAVE 2 THUMBS BUT CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I COULD REALLY BE DREAMING AS IT ALL SEEMS TOO REAL, I DO A MEMORY CHECK BUT REMEMBER THAT I WAS IN A PUB A WHILE AGO, LOOK BACK AT MY HANDS AND I HAVE 2 OF ALL MY FINGERS. I THINK THAT I AM REALLY TIRED AND CONCLUDE THAT I MUST BE SEEING DOUBLE AND CARRY ON, I'M CONVINCED THAT IT CAN'T BE A DREAM AND IS REAL. As I walk outside through another door I look at a sign and my vision is back to normal so I'm happy. I walk into a shop looking for a comic, and now I'm carrying my dog with me, I have to push past a security guard dressed in red to get out of the shop.

I'm not participating in this dream, just witnessing it. There's a white couple (m + f) standing outside on a parking lot. The man is holding a baby in his arms. Judging by the fact that this baby is still wrapped in a blanket, it can't be much older than a few months. It's daytime. There's a SWAT team or something similar which is going to burst into a big building, a supermarket I think. The man with the baby is part of the team, but because of the baby he's on the sidelines right now. I get the feeling that the man and woman are somewhat famous actors.

Someone mentions that the SWAT team is going to use a car/truck to ram a hole into one of the outer walls. This person mentions that the car is driving backwards to confuse the people who are inside. From what I see the dark coloured car/truck is driving normally at the wall, just at an angle. It breaches the walls. The man with the baby convinces his wife/girlfriend that they should also go inside. No you idiot, not with a baby, it's dangerous!

Once inside the couple is at the fresh produce department. Both of them have a gun. The guy tells his wife that now is the time to jump out into an aisle and shoot. The woman does so while still holding the baby. The baby gets shot by a woman with a gun. I think the wife goes for cover and comes back and gets shot as well, though she lives. The woman who shot the baby gets shot too, not sure if she lives. She has a sister who is present here as well. That sister and the couple finally come to terms about stopping this, cause they've all lost someone they care about.

Dream
I was lying in my bed after waking at 5:40 due to a car crash in the neighbourhood that knocked out all the power (we only just got it back). I ended up having a WILD as I was falling asleep, I felt myself seep into the dream state while fully aware of what was happening. I lay still and let it come, as it was happening I moved my body in the dream world to the edge of a cliff by the beach, I hopped over the ledge still holding on with my hands and dropped myself down. I landed solid, I wasn't sure if it would work since I could still feel my bed. I then think I walked a bit before losing the dream state.. I stayed still and let myself WILD back in again, this time I told myself to stabilize. I did this by clapping a few times as I walked a long the beach I had been on previously. I started shouting something to see if I'd say it in RL, I couldn't actually tell because the sounds in the dreams doubled up and it just confused me. I lost the lucidity, then wriggled a bit and didn't manage to WILD again .

Note to self: don't move.

Was reading today about someone once spending 35 minutes trying to see through his 'third eye' (or something) and eventually succeeding in seeing the sky at dawn as though through a hole in their roof...

has anyone else here had similar experiences perhaps? and if so, what did it eventually all turn out to be?

anyway, i'm gonna try this tonite just to see what happens seeing as I've been seeing these what 'appears' to be white outlines of my room as though seen through closed eyes

i've more chance of this than some lucid dreaming with my history innit heh

wish me luck!

In my dream I was a 3D stain glass artist (what I would like to try in real life) and I made this rose that looked like the one in Beauty and the Beast. It was amazingly made and even encased in a glass bell-jar. But after that the dream gets really hazy, I remember auctioning the sculpture but a few months later someone called me asking if i could fix/replace it becuase someone had broken the stem on it.

Created Monday 29 February 2016

I managed to get a late WILD today. There were also fragments of various other dreams I remember, one before my first awakening, one before my LD attempts, and another that occured between those attempts. First one had me and my sister exiting a suburban apartment complex. The next one had me watching the 2012 Ninja Turtles cartoon, where an unusually large Splinter fights off a snake-formed Karai in the sewers, until he calms her down with a picture of her mother. Finally, another dream involved me, my sister, and my nephew watching what was supposedly an anime movie for the original Dragon Ball, though all I saw was a sentient steam roller flattening living furniture.

Spoiler for Spoilered to save space:

Dream 1 - An Uneventfully Amusing Search For a Guide

Scene 1 - I Have To Go Now, My Dream Needs Me
I felt a familiar whirling motion in my head, a clear sign I was (almost) dreaming.

Before anything, I calmed myself with heavy breaths for about a minute. I then immediately thought of the TOTMs, the Dream Guide task in particular. And so, while keeping my eyes closed, I proceeded.

"I am ready for my Dream Guide.", I intoned. Nothing seemed to happen. I tried again. "I am ready for my Dream Guide." Still nothing. I continued, this time getting louder. "I am ready for my Dream Guide! I AM READY FOR MY DREAM GUIDE!" Null.

Got concerned of my state at this point. Maybe I needed to see? Well, not with my eyes, they were covered by a sleeping mask. But with "Dream Eyes?" So I uttered those words various times. "Dream Eyes! Dream Eyes!" Like before, no results.

Something else then. A change of scenery, perhaps? So, I imagined myself flying out of the room. As it would occur, that's exactly what happened, where I felt myself floating in the same posture I slept in as I kinda slid off the window. Blinding sunlight seeped through my eyelids, whereupon I transitioned immediately.

Scene 2 - Just a Giant Doll
The visuals started off bright, but highly blurred. Wasn't sure where I was at first, only knowing that I was standing on ground, and that I was still aware of my dream state.

Took a thorough look around the place. In a few seconds, the environment became clearer and clearer. I could immediately see large, green stalks surrounding me. Or so I thought, for a better look revealed these to be enormous garden plants, unkempt blades of grass and leaft weeds the size of small trees. Indeed, I could note a huuuuge house a short distance to my left, its outer walls light colored horizontal wood panels, and the sill plate a lattice frame painted white.

Now, I woulda just took off exploring, but decided to stick with the tasks. So, I once again called out, "I am ready for my Dream Guide". Suddenly, I felt myself getting pulled and dragged away for a moment. When I come to, I see that I'm already within the giant house, the kitchen, exactly, as noted by the building sized counter and cupboards a distance ahead, while the floor beneath me was of vast vinyl tiles. To my right was a square, thin legged wooden table, also very big, of course.

I glance behind, only to see a startling sight before me: a tremendous, light-skinned, bespectacled giantess, well over a hundred feet tall, big enough that I likely didn't even reach her ankle. She seemed petite for her size, and, more prominently, was drawn in as an anime-esque cel-shaded 3D figure. Her black, straight hair reached her shoulder. Moreover, she was dressed in a jean jacket and jean skirt ensemble, the latter reaching her knees, all while wearing soft, brown leather flats.

For a moment, I could only gaze up in awe. The giant woman didn't seem to notice me, just starting off into the distance. It's probably for this reason that she walked forward heedlessly in my direction. She would have squashed me had I not took a grand leap backwards, well, relatively speaking, as she closed that distance with a single step. I looked up again, and saw she was now gazing down at me, smiling faintly. Good, I had her attention. Of course, I had to ask her the obvious question.

"Are you my Guide?" There was no response. So, I asked again. "Are you my Guide?" She tilted her head in confusion, but remained silent.

By this point, I kinda guessed I wasn't going to get much from her. Just a lifeless doll, like a video game character. Pity, but oh well. It was fun either way. I floated up to her at face level, telling her I was off to do other tasks, and bade her farewell. Of course, she did nothing but stare idly.

From here, my sights were set on another task: creating fire and ice in each hand. Shouldn't be too hard, I thought, given I've done similar things in previous dreams. Didn't really notice an incoming transition.

Scene 3 - Can't Flick Out Fire Nor Frost
The visuals were dim, and the clarity in the background fluctuated wildly. I was now stepping out from an unknown place into an outdoor hallway, blue-ish dawn light reflecting off the cement walls and floors. I retained awareness, and was, at this point, regular sized relative to the environment.

With clear purpose, I raised and looked upon both my hands, which remained consistently clear compared to the rest of the environment. They seemed a bit rougher than normal, bearing scars and calluses that I'm sure don't actually exist. Anyway, I tensed up my fingers, and tried visualizing an aura emanating from each, blue for the left, and red for the right. I could somewhat see static of such description flickering from them, all while said extremities grew numb with a very faint sensation of coolness and warmth, respectively. Progress, but nowhere near enough. I concentrated more, but this yielded no further results until it ended completely.

So, I tried a different approach, thinking of how spellcasting worked in other games, Skyrim in particular. At this, dark, fist sized glowing orbs were formed in my trembling hands, as planned. A flick of my wrist, I thought, and I'll get what I need. I launched these spheres into the air, which promptly vanished to the sound of a swhishing noise. But, aside from that, this produced no obvious results. I repeated again, straining myself further and further, but nothing.

Suddenly, my view discorporates during one of these castings, where I could see my previous perspective fit within a rectangular corner of my view, as if it occurred within a small screen. Well, most of my previous perspective, as I couldn't quite see my right hand. As disorienting as this was, I continued my attempts, seeing and feeling myself forming and releasing more energy to no other effect. Eventually, I realign fully with my body, though the visuals deteriorated greatly by that point.

And then, I felt terrible discomfort in my jaw, where I sensed my upper front teeth have somehow been shoved between my lower teeth. "Oh, yeah," I thought. "Forgot I slept on my side today." Now, I knew better than to think this was actually happening. Whatever the case, I was snapped out of the dream that very instant. Guess even thinking of your real body would do as such after all...