Recent DJ Posts

I had a vivid dream of boarding a futuristic space elevator with two other people I knew. Well, more like "strap in", as it was a kind of open carriage, and you were sitting down but only secured to it with seatbelts. The elevator started moving, faster and faster along the thin cable, and before long the sky started to get darker. I actually felt my body becoming weightless. But it wasn't because we reached space. The elevator "leveled off", and reached... a floating city in the sky. It was a beautiful city with beautiful classical architecture. For a moment, my rational faculties were awake enough for me to wonder how they managed to built they fully-populated city, if the space elevator technology was supposed to be new. After all, we were on its maiden trip... But in the end I just shrugged and explored the city.

Later that day, I got a Facebook "Memories" notification reminding me I shared a video about a future space elevator exactly 10 years ago.

Jamie 1

Just a flash of sitting with her in a movie theater.

Jamie 2

Just a vague dream of being in her house with her mother or something.


Recall has been really bad these past few days. Just dreaming about random scenarios that I really don't care about.


Threat

I'm in some community hall or something. Some East Indian guy goes up to me in the lobby and touches my chest. He says, "I'm going to kill you." And walks away. I say to other people in the crowded lobby. " Did you hear that?" As if I expect them to do something. They all last me like they don't get involved?

Maybe it's a guy who has a crush on Jamie?

Weird

I was in my old town in BC . I was looking for my girlfriend but she was blond in the dream.

Wound up in some store with two blond women who were trying to sell me stolen blankets or something. They were going to frame me for theft if I didn't pay for them. So I pulled out a knife and cut one the blankets to shreds. Both girls left and the store owner and some staff were questioning me about the thieves. They started talking about cameras in the store. I realized they would see me on camera destroying one of the blankets. So, I left as well.

Pharmascene
Beats blast. Patrons dance. Fluorescents flicker in time. This is a pharmacy, not a dance club. I am the only soul irritated by this apothecary party. When transactions are complete, finally feel a festive pull. Dive fully into the dance.

Graduation
Presentation complete. Gifted safety pins for our shoes, we disperse. Cousin Angel's unzipped lips cast unhinged spells. She is lost. Cousin Darla and her only son invite me to the beach. Strangers find it in their hearts to help. Beach is found. Lot is a confusion of cars. Cavort through chaos. My safety pin is sacrificed to see the beach.

Mouthful
Called to a prominent meeting of minds. Words can not be wound by a tongue caked with gum. Pull. Stretch. Peel. Scrape. The mass is an unending mess of stretching strands. It rips free, finally. Greeted by a fleshy mass of tongue locking glop. It is alive! Kick it to the ditch. After it all, attend the assembly in silence, still.

Okay, still working on not splitting on the past. More actively praying on it. Last thing I wanna do is have Jamie come back into my life, and on a bad day, drag her through the mud of the past. That could be abusive. So, I am working hard on it. We're dealing with years of looking at her one way. This is NOT easy at all. I'm like: la dee da, today at work, but later on - I'm thinking about the past again. Imaging myself in those situations again, and playing out being more stern with her and this and that. Her voice had to tell me to stop it because she apparently senses when I do this. I apologize of course. It's just where my mind goes sometimes, it's really hard to control. But I am actively trying to work on it.

Dreams:

Quickly binge watched "Wanda Vision". I honestly don't care for MCU stuff. It's pretty much what I watch when nothing else is on the streaming services that I like. But, I found this series a lot of fun. Hard to understand without the context of the movies tho.
Dreams seemed related to what I was watching.

Jamie 1

I'm in Wanda Vision. I'm looking down the street. It's black and white like the first two episodes. I look down the street and see Jamie down the street, looking like she in the 50's. She just walks out of a house and looks inside the mailbox. Dream fades.

Jamie 2

In Wanda Vision again. Black and white still. It's raining. I'm trying to help a guy stuck under a manhole or something. Jamie flies down wearing a super hero outfit. Spandex and everything. She says, "Hi, I'm Captain Booty Cheeks, would you like some ASS-istance?" She's grinning as she says this. The shock of this wakes me up.

Girl would have made a killing as a 90's porn director. For real.

Also, Real Jamie reading my sex dream entries of her be like : 👁️👄👁️
Must be really embarASSing for her to read. You, think that's bad, you should hear what her voice does with practically every song that gets stuck in my head. I will never hear REO Speedwagon the same... She did do the Chick-fil-A sauce, stuff in my dreams months ago because it was stuck in my head, Right? Right?

Jamie 3

Longer dream I can't remember much of the beginning. I was walking downtown in some generic city. Wound up at a bar apparently with some karaoke. Someone hands me a microphone but with no music track. I try to sing something but it doesn't sound good. Some Asian girl ( Jamie, but I keep seeing her wrong in dreams for some reason.) sits down on my lap. But more right on where my D is.

I finish.... The song. And we both go by the bar. Jamie is saying something but her voice is so quiet. I lean closer to hear but all I make out is something like, "...real boyfriend.." She must have been having a difficulty in speaking dream, where you are trying to speak but you sense your real jaw which is frozen. Making it hard to speak in your dream. She vanishes, so I leave.

I'm walking back to where I live. I briefly wonder why I didn't bring my car (failed RC). Because walking kind of sucks. The sidewalk goes strange. Some tiles are missing and filled with water. I avoid those. Next is a drop , The only way down is a metal ladder covered in ice... Great. But I somehow make it down. At the bottom is the Asian girl (Jamie) again. I still don't recognize her as Jamie. She taps me on the shoulder and says, " You're my boyfriend, my REAL boyfriend." I'm still not recognizing her as Jamie. I think about saying, or I might have said, " I already have a girlfriend." Still not getting it, but I wake up.

Her voice does say to me out relationship feels real. I have been asking her for this past week to please tell me in a dream the same thing to confirm. I believe she just did.

Jamie 4

I'm in my Bowden house. But it's facing 2A for some reason. I look out the window and see Jamie driving by in a brown SUV. She nervously looks my way quickly and drives away.

Concert

I'm in some football stands at some event. Like waiting for a concert. I notice Weird Al behind me. We start having a conversation. I ask him how his new tour is going? He says great, I hope to see you there. Then he starts making all these strange predictions about me. Like I'm going to meet Sally and learn to be a crochet master or something. I'm thinking if he's trying to be a psychic, he must be terrible at it. I'm not into these things at all. Then I realize He's not being serious at all. He's just joking around, because He's Weird Al..

Lofty
Unprepared for what the teacher whips us with, two are banished to the roof. My companion, a seeming sleek 50s model, sits, smiles, studies. I amble past pillars and benches bare. Our teacher! He is John Rhys-Davies, slick in suit yet somehow still stout and angular as a son of Gloin. "They will see us!" he yells. Shoved to stones. Crushed by a shield of flesh and bone. Can't breathe. And then... all is well. Sit for a spell. 50's beauty and I soak in the sanctity of lofty lessons.

Re-membered
Bare as the day I was born, relish the rush of steam and shower. What games were played? Can not recall. My team mates names? Can not recall. It does not matter. I am one. I am now. Sing and savor this hissing stall. Too soon comes a curious reality. Pants can not fit. Enormously endowed with a member of mammoth proportions, I panic. Half naked, trapped, distorted. Wish only for the safe and shielding shambles of my home.

(Sept 23)
Remnants of scholars trickle softly through shadow swept halls. Bodies brush past one another but thoughts soar through scattered elsewheres. Trials are documented and cast upon white washed walls for all to see in the heart of a great hall. A friend finds me. Sits close. Closer. Lean on my shoulder. Slip under my arm. I am too weary to care but drape her in what comfort that my half embrace can give.

I think the overall idea of this dream is that I was going in and out of consciousness and explaining elements of my dreams to... Someone I was sharing a bed with? Documentary style??? One such element was a modification of either dph or heroin popular in the 4chan trans community that made the user hear an ominous text to speech voice followed by a feeling of intense dread and paralysis. The greek goddess Artemis herself took control of my body after I woke up, sat at the edge of the bed, turned on the lights, grasped her head and expressed grief and righteous parental concern at the idea of anyone doing that to herself. A lot of this part of the dream involved strategically looking at nothing and smothering my face in darkness so as to reduce the effect. At some other point after I fell back asleep in the dream, I was at what was supposedly the watt/I-80 station dropping off/making sure a housemate was alright to get where she needed to be. I told her of the similarities this scene had to the last dream, although the last dream was a nightmare and my housemate had a legit knife instead of a butter knife in her hand. We were overlooking a lake on a bridge. After taking the elevator down and avoiding eye contact with anything not directly in front of me, I hop onto the train back to... Watt/I-80? The point is I was taking the blue line back to the station near my house (which isn't that one). A fare inspector came by despite my expectation that since it was so early in the morning I'd be off the hook. He looked like my second year community college sociology professor and I noted the gorgeous frozen lake sunset scenery just as my zip pass randomly got deleted. He told me I had to get off and I said that was fine because this was my next stop. What should have been Watt/I-80 West or the one before that was "West Antarctic Station". I got off at a frozen riverbank where no train tracks appeared to be present. The river opened into the same gorgeous lake I pointed out to the fare inspector and I was officially stranded while waiting for the next train.

My girlfriend was in this dream somewhere at some point but I couldn't tell you where. There were also points in the dream where I got off at a bus stop at a corner store near an intersection in an otherwise nature-y area.

So I had a short dream but it was a nightmare.

I dreamed Mom and Dad were leaving the house to take a vacation from me. Similar to the vacation they had back in 2012. So i was going to be staying in the house by myself. The parents and I were in the front hall together-mom was talking to me I think giving me instructions-but for all I know it could have been "peas and carrots" or "strawberries and rhubarb". So Mom and I stepped out on the porch- I was going to see my parents off to whether it was they're going- some place in Ontario at least since they're going to take the car. In the dream, I was dressed in my junk clothes, and I had no keys on me since I was going straight back into the house. And I guess at some point between Dad going out onto the porch and Mom and I going out on the porch - Dad went back inside the house because Dad came back outside the house and closed the door and started to lock the door. I started yelling at Dad "DON'T LOCK THE DOOR! DON'T LOCK THE DOOR!" I might have done it three times before I woke up since the bathroom was calling me. It took me an hour I think to go back to sleep from 7:35am to 8:35am.

Occurred Sept 22

Endless halls hold me captive at this gathering of dreamers. When finally I find my place it is too late. Ten's lecture is complete. A gloom hangs in the air, as thick and sticky as humid breath. Dreamers depart, stooped, depressed. Ten holds place, smile on his face. I ask him to tell his talk. He will not. Instead he blurts a list of words. "What?" He blurts again. "Oh..." The words are groups of animals. An eyebrow arches, asks if I catch his drift. I nod. Ten stands taller, grin slides wider, "What do you call a group of lucid dreamers?" "I don't know, what DO you call a group of lucid dreamers?" I ask, probing for the punchline. Ten lets loose laughter, "I thought YOU knew. Oh well. You'll figure it out." A preen, a pivot, he darts down the hall.

Hope for a familiar face. Find none. Settle in a circle of languid dreamers. They whisper in secretive spurts. I ask the message of Ten's talk. Eyes roll. Voices recoil. This glacial space is shortly spoiled by stomps and shouts on high. Up the stairs I fly. There stands Eleven, eyes of lightning, voice of thunder, before a table piled with toys. "YOU BROKE THE DEAL!" He screams and slaps toys to the floor. Young and old flinch. Within me flares an insane reflex, "What the HELL is going on here?" Eleven's tempest turns my way. "All I asked for payment was a Kylo Ren with sound effect lightsaber. THAT'S IT. THEY BROKE THE FUCKING DEAL... THOSE FUCKING SACKS OF..." I stand tall. Become a wall. "THEN LEAVE!" I match his thunder, "GO!" A preen, a pivot, he pounds down the hall.

Ten pops in, "Star Wars fans... I tell ya..." and pops out again.

Follow after Ten but find Eleven retreating into... a TARIDS? "What the..." Force a finger through my palm. Soft surge of relief. "I'm dreaming." Grin grows as bold as my lucid soul. "I'M DREAMING!" I yell to the TARDIS. Blue doors burst open. Out steps a mutant of a man, part Daemon, part Aragorn, all fury. His grin is a crack in time. His eyes burn Mordorian black. Weapons raised, one gun, one sword, he calls my name. Can not indulge in lucidity. Flee to warn the luminary of the shadow in our heart.

Bit of recall which may be associated to the above:
I recall being in the midst of orcs.

Such a long write up for such a fleeting glimmer of lucidity.
PS Happy Hobbit Day. Didn't make it to Bilbo's party last night. Tonight is another story.

Funny couple days. Day 1 i was making a supper. For some reason the Jamie voice likes to bug me while I'm trying to cook. " You're doing that wrong... That's too much!!! You cut those too big!" First of all I ask how she would even know what I am doing? She always answers that she can see it in her mind. I always say you're not here to eat it, so let me do it my way.

Also the brake pads on my car are going so I'm not delivery driving until they are fixed. My dad has work for now.

Jamie 1

A quick flash of Jamie standing over a stove, eating out of a pot. Apparently it's supposed to be what I made. She smiles at me while eating it.

Jamie 2

A quick flash of her in a wheelchair. She's rolling towards me. Hm I hope this isn't a real thing.

Next night: nothing.

Yesterday, possible drive by when it was getting dark. I was talking to her voice outside and heard, " I really wanna see you." I heard a car slow down by me house, so I walked to see. It was super dark. A grey car drove by and in the passenger seat I saw a head turn to look at me. But it was so dark and fast I couldn't make the person out. The head turn was like her though.

Like I said, I don't mind if she does this. Just please make sure I can clearly see her. I wanna see her too. It does help validate to me what I'm going through on this blog. So don't be sneaky or disguise herself.

Jamie 3?

I was in a gas station store, that had a McDonald's in it or something. A familiar woman went to the glass door. Her hair was dyed light purple. I thought it was Zoe from when I worked with Jamie, Z worked at the same place. The woman recognized me and she seemed to be holding back tears. Zoe was another "friend." From that time (not as close), who suddenly turned on me when I was going through my dark night of the soul. So I reacted in the dream as if it was Zoe.

She started to say something but I cut her off with. " What, you're suddenly going to talk to me after 13 years? We were good friends and you dropped me without explanation, and I'm supposed to just accept you back?"

The woman took a step back. She said, "I'm going to kill myself." And it sounded like Jamie's voice. And she turned and ran out the door. I was going to follow her and apologize, but I woke up.

Yeah, I guess I'm going to have to be very careful with my words. I'm pretty sure it was Jamie in the dream. Unfortunately, the way I described Zoe also applies to her. I do acknowledge that Jamie at least, tried to explain. Just not very well.

I woke up and realized I had fallen asleep and didn't finish my prayers. I had started and dosed off. The Jamie voice was there , but quiet. We eventually talked about it somewhat and agreed to finish my long list of prayers. I added to not let us be prisoners to the pain of our past. There's a line about love in Corinthians somewhere in the Bible that says something like, "Love keeps no records of wrongdoings." While what I said to Zoe in the dream applies to Jamie, and I do indeed feel that way sometimes. That is a worthy goal to strive for. It's almost humanly impossible to forget. That's why I'm going to rely on Jesus and shut my mouth if Jamie comes to me in person with something to say.

Bull

I was in the lobby of a hotel checking on my business cards. I noticed the display tray was emptied. So I went to get more cards. When I got back there was a menacing bull with big horns in my way. I made sure I wasn't carrying anything red, so that it wouldn't charge at me.

Other small dreams involved something about a McDonald's franchise owner was meeting with a man who owned a bar franchise, or something.... Idk

One dream seemed to involve the lady from Our of the box. Hey, they haven't called me in weeks... I'm to shy to call them now.

Driven
Circle side-winding streets. Curse shape-shifting signs. Neath my wheels the living lines glitch with murderous glee. Snared in this slippery scene I drive... drive... am driven mad.

Thunder Hearts
A cat says, "A dog once said that hearts are tough, like thunder." We part ways. I can do nothing but wander, ponder, wonder.

Ember
Why does time, in all its wisdom, not stamp out our stubborn spark? Despise the flighty smolder that swells when our souls trip into each other. Fight? Flight? Freeze? Fawn? Want these basic embers gone. Employ fifth F... facade. Walk behind the ancient, unmoved mask. Let me lust fires fairer than this.

Constellation
Here we stand in surging lands of bullies, baggage, and ramblers. Our trek has forked. Our birds take flight. We soar into opposite nights. I am leery, lonely, lost. I wish you well. I wish you grace. I wish you find your perfect place. Only moon and stars connect us now. We have become the constellation Chrysalis.

Dreams from September 19th.

A Shell
Grave golden. Veins shriveled. Spirits ragged, as jagged as the twisting, turning trails. Bare soles scrape cross banks and beds of iridescent disaster. Suffer glorious torture. Search for salvation in but one unfragmented shell.

Show
Seduced by gaudy glimmers and fair fueled glee. Contraptions groan. Barkers yip. Music ebbs and flows, drowns out crows, cats, and other creeping souls... like me. Dare we sink into the shoddy arms of pendulums and scramblers?

Old one!

1. (Fragment)

Lucid - although I barely remember. I stand at my kitchen counter in blue darkness, my mum on the other side, and pinch my nose for a reality check. It fails, and I know that I am dreaming - I wonder faintly how to keep my mum from finding out.

2.

I dream a song - it is a rap or more accurately, spoken. I recall hearing it in full, with distinct rhythm and what felt to be profoundly meaningful words, though I can't remember much now.

When I think of Amy Wine/
_.._.._/
_.._..and/
Laid the foundations/
Of beauty...

The song resounds in my mind as I fly over the city and the rooftops, feeling like a shooting star. The sky fades between several hazy, painted landscapes - sunsets, mornings - beaming light and colour. They are by her - she was an artist, surely.

3.

I am walking through the streets around my home - touring someone around, perhaps - perhaps I am experiencing a TV show about my area. It feels like that - like I'm not really here. Someone else's voice in my head explains to me what I'm seeing. I pass down a cobbled street, introducing the viewer to the pastry factory on the other side of the street - although it looks like a warehouse it makes the best cakes, and they're cheap! (IRL in its supposed location there is in fact a small film studio - it does look like a warehouse.) It's evening and the sky is indigo with a blurry slice of cold yellow at the bottom. I am heading home with a spring in my step - it should be almost dinnertime.

Once I'm back in my room, I reach for something on my desk and it's not there - strange - only a gap. This makes me feel odd so I move a few other objects to fill the space and placate my suspicions. When I look over to my bedside table, too, things I thought would be there are missing. My confusion grows and I rearrange some trinkets and ornaments so it looks normal, to take my mind off the weirdness.

I check my phone; I have an email notification. My parents were discussing my always being late and what they should do about it (??). It seems I was late to dinner tonight and my dad's response was to confiscate loads of my belongings. I can't believe he'd do this without even telling me, and the next thing I find missing, I storm out to confront him about it. I can't remember his response.

4. (Fragment)

An attic dimly lit with blue light. Open cardboard boxes are about, books stacked inside. There is a bookshelf against the back wall opposite the door and a small window in the slant of the roof.

Notes:

- More technology.
- Dream music! Who else has this happened to?
- Seems like a trend (with my last lucid dream) that despite being lucid I don't want DCs to know I'm dreaming or see me do anything abnormal. I really wonder why...

Went home early today, started feeling tired but not sick. I can't do consistent 10-14 hour days like I know some ppl do.

Night off I decided to focus on the Jamie voice. If it's really her we had a good time and my dreams reflected that. Last 2 nights no dreams of Jamie.

Jamie 1

Just a flash of slow dancing with her in a bar. The song sounded country... Blech!! But we were enjoying ourselves and started kissing.

Jamie 2

I was in a park with Jamie. I was laying down and she got on me and started dry humping me. Lol. The image of it was funny. What if there's kids around?

I can't remember my other dreams very well. One was in a large building.

I find focusing on Jamie more instead of other things increases the frequency of dreams.