dream fragment

I'm in a machine shop. It's pretty large, it has an office area and large dividers with Plexiglas windows. I'm going to head off to the main hall but I have to use the bathroom. As I go to the toilet bowl I see that the divider in front of me is really low and I can see right over it but more importantly people can see me taking a whizz. I see a woman who works at the office looking at me in a strange way and I duck down try to pee in a weird crunched up ball with my back bent

11.07.15

nightshifts, but today was off (last night)

No recall last 2-3 days. Other than working at my work. Tireing. Pls stop.

I couldn't remember the night before when I tried, so I neglected making a post.

Last night was pretty disjointed. I woke up partway through, trying to remind myself to remember my dream, but I'm not sure I really do. I do remember some stuff, though.

I woke up partway through and considered trying WILD but I was tired and making up for sleep debt over the week. And I just didn't feel like putting in the effort. I'll definitely do it tonight, though.

Anyway, I recall a fragment about... having Skittles, and eating them, and then I was digging through someone's laundry. I had dropped my Skittles in there.

I was doing this outside, kind of in front of a beach area, and it was kind of dark out but not nighttime. Sort of after sunset but before actual night sets in. And it was kind of cold and rainy out.

It was someone's brother's laundry. All of the clothing was a drab olive, or gray, or black, and there were skittles in them that weren't mine, and I was trying to be careful to eat only my Skittles and not the ones that were already in the dirty laundry, but I wasn't sure if I had accidentally eaten one of those, and it kind of grossed me out. I could sort of tell the difference because those skittles had gross spots on them, etc... anyway, I finally just spat out what I'd been chewing into a paper towel that I somehow magically found behind myself.

Then, some of my friends had moved into some low-rent apartments. They were very nice. There were persian rugs all over the floors, the floors were marble and natural wood, there was a nice fireplace, etc. I was amazed by how nice the apartments were. They were a 2-bedroom and even had a nice balcony. My mom complains that "people trash them" so not all of the apartments are this nice.

I wonder if it's possible for me and my boyfriend to rent one of these apartments, but we probably make too much money. I go outside for some reason that I don't remember, and walk a few blocks. I pass a little outdoor eating/socializing area with black cast iron tables and chairs, and think that it would be a nice place to hang out with neighbors. I'm trying to get back to mom's apartment, but realize that I don't remember which one it is or where it is, and it's very dark outside. The complex is mazelike, and I wander around for a long time looking for her building.

Then, I dream about a movie that all of my friends and I have been anticipating, but it's also actually a TV show, and it's about a bunch of underwater people/mermaids. And the special effects are TERRIBLE. The actors just have badly painted face makeup, and the whole thing feels half-assed and unconvincing, and we all feel ripped off. I recall a scene of one of the actors surfacing from beneath the waves and the makeup just looked so terrible, and I was very disappointed.

The next dream... now I am some sort of mermaid, and I live in a high rise, but I'm stuck there and don't have very much freedom, and the whole place is run by some millionaire.

I stand in front of a glass window and look out at the city. I am also floating, because I have no legs.

I sometimes steel a very small plane... but it's not a plane, it's more high tech, like a flying bike or something... and go fly around.

Flash back to another dream I had that this one dredged up:
I am in an apartment complex. It's a very run down complex. I'm going up and down the stairs, wandering around in this place. The carpet is very dirty, the walls are dingy, the whole thing is run down and it smells like food someone's cooking... that sort of general "I smell someone's food" smell where you can't figure out what they're cooking and whether or not it smells good or nasty. I remember the carpet being kind of... yellow brown...

So I go up these stairs, looking for some apartment, but I'm also not really looking for anything. The layout is a lot like an apartment I lived in when I was 13. It is not exactly dimly lit, but not well lit either. The stairs are claustrophobic and narrow and enclosed by walls. And for some reason, there are no doors for apartments. I get up to the top and there's a ledge against the wall running between the stairs, and nothing else.

Then, possibly in the same dream, I walk into an apartment building... it is dark inside... with the same sort of layout, but also falling apart.

And now this leads to recalling a fragment of yet another dream. I don't know if I've written about this one already, though.

I am in a sort of hospital place. Possibly a mental institution. The architecture is very prison-like, bars across the windows and everything is very washed out. I recall going down some stairs and gaining lucidity as I did so. I know this is a dream, but I'm not sure what to do about it. I go through a door at the bottom of the stairs.

Just remember fragments.

-Up north with parents and Niki, I suggested we go to coffee shop but then decided to make coffee at cabin. My mom gave me like 200$ and my grandpa was going to give me some money. Eventually I realized I was naked the entire time because I forgot to get dressed

-at a train station going somewhere but I had no idea how to use the train or get a ticket and it was a very sketchy environment

Can't remember mutch this night even. I was at school, something like a group project, but can't remeber who was with me or what it was about.

Finding a Wallet in the Trash
In my old room from childhood, but lots of the details are different. Grey day outside, a bit dark. It's really messy, something that caused a lot of anxiety in me as a teenager. I see a cardboard box with a little trash in it, it has a picture of a goth girl smoking in it. As I turn away, I suddenly want to take another look at the picture. The box now has a black trash bag in it.

I open it and it has a sleeping bag in it. It has drugs in it. A guy's friend had thrown it out to keep his friend sober. The sleeping bag also has a wallet in it and it is full of cash. I feel excited about it but I know I should return the wallet, cash and all.

Outside it is a sunny day in the center of a city, there is a used book store. Outside a car parks, the guy comes out with the friend who threw out his drugs and wallet and the friend's girlfriend. The guy is angry at his friend for throwing out the wallet, although I get the impression that the guy knows his friend's intentions were good. I know why he is so angry since I saw all the cash in the wallet. I struggle, should I give it back?

Back in my room, I see a teacher of mine. He is looking for his wallet. I give it back to him, cash and all, and he is really relived. I feel good that I did the right thing.

Motorcycle Ride
Outside a store near where I live, my teacher is giving people rides on his motorcycle through the grey day on the winding road, trees on either side. I feel myself lean as we make the bends, he stands on the stirrups of the bike to get balance, he isn't worried about crashing. Back outside the store there is a hotdog stand where people are going to get a greasy snack to eat.

Notes:
- No real techniques were used to achieve this; just luck I guess. I just felt like it was ridiculous that I was scared of a little ball.
- I REALLY wish I could remember what the DC said. I know it was witty, but I can't remember what I asked either.

[Fragment begins]:
I was getting chased by a green orb at a party and it was going to kill me if it touched me, so I got scared and ran. Then I thought "Seriously? It's just a stupid green ball. I mean, look." And it hit my arm and deflated like a balloon. Somewhere in the midst of that I realized I was dreaming, and then I proceeded to prepare myself to try talking to a DC (something I hadn't done before in a lucid). So then I went over to one of my friends and (sadly, my recall is faltering) I asked him some question and he responded with some sort of yo mama comeback... such a witty subconscious

[The dream fragments...]

Notes:
- I've been really busy lately, so my focus during the day hasn't been on dreaming, so no lucids and my recall's down at the moment. Hopefully this weekend I can have some fun.

[Fragment 1]:
I'm playing GMod (but I'm physically inside the game). I'm in this big house with tons of rooms, and I have this NPC pack that includes one called "Morgan ____". I can't remember the last name now, but the name was burnt into my memory for a good while afterwards. I decided to spawn her. She walked around like a Witch from L4D, but then I provoked her somehow, and the silently but violently began pursuing me. She was very anime-esque, with pale white face, black holes for eyes, and blonde hair and a black & white striped dress (very Tim Burton-ish overall). I ran away, but no matter where I hid she would find me. I get tired of this and a little creeped out, so I go to the Client Options menu and delete everything I've spawned. She disappears. Then she comes back. I do this over and over, until I get really freaked out and think she's a computer virus or something (shoulda seen it; that's one of my dream signs). I open up the main menu and reach for the disconnect button, but she grabs me and tries to keep me from it. I finally press it and reload the map. SHE'S STILL THERE.

[Fragment 2]:
So I'm going up the stairs in my house and my dog's sitting on the landing. There's some other person's dog in the house, and it's looking at her. They're both wearing neon-ish accessories. Then, the other dog mounts my dog and I wrestle him off.

only fragments last night.
The face of a female monster, a cross between a gobelin and a rat, with a pointy muzzle and beady black eyes. zoom out, it has the body of a black hen with droppy, old woman brests. It's a Harpy.
Wings flapping, black as ink, two pair of them, coming from a gigantic statue of a woman hovering above a city.
Thor pulling loki into a room, asking him to do something. Loki let out a bitter laugh and ask him if he's gone crazy again.

Intensive DEILD attempt 1:
I set my alarm to go off at 2 for a WBTB and to empty my bladder so it wouldn't distract me when I woke up for DEILD later in the night. I then went back to bed quickly and tried doing some SSILD cycles, but I think I fell asleep on the first long cycle O_O. I seem to remember waking up too soon and tried getting back to sleep again (my alarm for DEILD was set to go at 3:30am and every 15 minutes after to a total of 8 times) so I turned off the first DEILD alarm to give myself more time to fall asleep. After that I managed to wake up several times to the sound of really loud rooster screeching 'COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!' next to my pillow. It think I'll change this tone because it became seriously annoying . I did manage to lie still atleast 3 times upon waking up I think, but I didn't stay still. I always ended up moving. Also I had poor recall because of this and ended up sleeping in.

I can't recall the order of all these dreams (except the first and last one)

Dream 1 - FA?
I remember waking to the sound of my alarm at 2 and rolling around and getting up but it was crazy weird because I thought I was in a dream. The feeling I had as I woke up was like deja vu. I think I woke up as my body was about to enter REM which gave me this weird feeling (not really a dream but oh well).

Dream 2 - Script
I remember a vague dream about the dream occurring in a dream script. Imagine reading a book and then imagining what's happening as you read, that's pretty much what this dream was like. I had done a bunch of reading before going to bed, it was like a block of text was scrolling up and there were these supporting images forming in the background that played out the story.

Dream experience: 4 (unique)
Dream awareness: 0 (completely unaware)

Dream 3 - Compare and contrast
Me and another person are in a room, not very detailed and everything isn't that focused. We're talking about something and comparing them together, but none of it makes any sense really.

Dream experience: 2 (pretty uneventful)
Dream awareness: 1 (emotion)

Dream 4 - Drawing book
I seem to be at my parents house with my family somewhere around. There are 2 parts to this dream, 1 where I'm 'awake' and another where I'm doing the same thing but in a 'dream'. In the first part I think I'm in the lounge and I have a book out. It's pretty much related to schoolwork where I'm doodling out these boxes and filling them in with time lapses to illustrate a change over time in something. The first one was to do with whales. It was a box divided into 4 segments and each depicted a whale going from one stage to the next. I think there were 3 other boxes with diagrams depicting other concepts (I had a feeling they were geology related) though I only saw 2 others and without enough clarity to make out what they were. The next part of the dream I'm 'asleep' and I'm dreaming out the same scenario in the house, this time my daughter is there though and I'm showing her what I've done. I put the book down on the ground and open it up and I can show four pages at the same time (this should be impossible since a normal book can only show 2 pages (left and right leafs)). My parents come and tell me that it's time to go, we're going out somewhere tonight I think, probably dinner.

Dream experience: 5 (longer with 2 'parts' - kind of unique transition)
Dream awareness: 3 (I had some inkling of a feeling that I was present, as well as being able to focus on details)

First fragment

With group of friends we were wandering the North Pole. We were escaping from a strange group of people. There was a polar station nearby, so we entered it. It was a tight, cluttered building. It served both storage and laboratory purposes. Looking through the windows, we saw that the strange group we saw earlier took a car and drove away.

Second fragment.

Cold Autumn day, it was noon. I was in school, inside IT room. We had a course of working with game engines. A short, obese man in late fifties with moustache was teaching us how to use it. I turned it on, and the networking module launched. I found myself flying in a city. I was immediately connected with a dude from my class. I opened a menu and chosen a weapon. Then we fought.

Don't remember much. Main reason I'm posting this is to record the sleep paralysis I experienced, which I think is only the second time ever that I experienced it. Quite scary.

-4 people dying in a beautiful tragedy style dream

-I'm on the street by my house french kissing everyone I see. I realize I'm lucid, and decide to go to my neighbor's house to see who's home but I wake up.

-I died and went to heaven. I'm opening drawers that when you open them seem to go on forever.

I wake up, but I can't move. I can't even open my eyes. It's scary but I figure I'll come out of it eventually I try to fall back asleep in hope that when I wake up I won't be paralyzed anymore, but I somehow am finally able to move. Sometime during this I hear things like my dad in my room(in RL he's not at the house) and my dog(also not here in RL). Weird dream-like state.

Dream fragment - I remember there being something about a friend called Jamie, whom I was ignoring for reasons. I think we might have been outside near a car and I didn't really want to talk to him.

Terrible recall, I went to bed at about and hour later than usual and none of my DEILD alarms woke me up. I think it's kind of related to the physical exertion from yesterday, which usually leads to me having deeper sleeps during the following night. I also felt like my awareness in ADA was lacking yesterday, like I was tuning out of everything more often and couldn't maintain focus on my surroundings without some internal dialogue distracting me.

First fragment

I was iny house. It was dark, and there were no energy. With family we lit a candle.

Second fragment

I saw everything from top-down perspective. I had to protect an underground fortress from a siege of darkness. I readied armor and sword, and then I was attacked by a huge pumpkin that launched molotov cocktails at me. It hit me in the end.

Third fragment

It was night. I was going towards a shop with my mother.

Non-dream
Non-lucid
Lucid

Set up a DEILD alarm for 1:30, 3:20 and 5:10 last night, trying different alarm tones for each. I found that the 'rooster' sound woke me up but the others didn't. After kind of putting off dedicating effort into DEILD I decided last night that I'd give it a proper try, so when I woke up I actually managed to lie completely still with my eyes closed. I remember reading some advice somewhere that you should focus on a point, so I focused on the centre of my forehead. It kind of felt like meditating in a way. I decided that it was a good enough attempt for the night just knowing that I could do that if I wanted to, then I got up for a WBTB.

Dream 1 - Poison caterpillars
This dream was pretty interesting, I woke to the 3:20 DEILD alarm and tried cementing it to memory which I found a bit easier than I would if I had moved around. I was in a room at night time, my friend John was here too and we seemed to be in a survival kind of scenario. We had to go to sleep for the night so we each had our own floor mattress and bedding. I lay down to go to sleep but at some point in the night a friend from back home called Fraser showed up. He was the guy we were trying to survive against. He placed these caterpillar-worms on us that were tiny at first (~1cm long), but soon grew to be maybe 7cm long. They poison you just by touch and have these alternating purple to green bands along their body. I remember one crawling on me and thinking that the touch of it was stinging. Fraser came in and took the grown up caterpillars, like it was supposed to be every ones goal to get them (like a quest item?). I was pretending to be dead I think so he wouldn't notice I was still alive despite being poisoned.

Dream fragment - anime artist?
I remember a group of people on a sunny day walking down a pathway by the road and they were somehow related to anime/manga. Possibly the artists who make it

Dream 2 - Family guy
I remember having a dream where I think I might have been Bryan from Family Guy. The dream was telling the story of how Stewy and Bryan met and how they came to become a part of the Griffin family. Apparently Stewy was adopted alongside Bryan it seems. I think I (Bryan, who at the time I called Mike because I forgot his actual name) went to a one-off job. I met Stewy there who I seemed to hit it off really well with, we ended up become tight comrades and somehow headed off on a journey together in a car (feels like third person during this so I don't think I'm Bryan anymore). They end up getting adopted into the Griffin family which I find weird because I thought Stewy was born as a Griffin.

FA - I seemed to remember writing 'Stewy and Mike' into my phone so I could recall the dream later, but when I woke up later on and I looked at my phone... there was nothing! Dun dun dun!

Dream 3 - Trippiest Dream Ever
I'm lying in bed in the middle of the night surfing the internet on my phone. It's the first time looking at a screen in a dream where it isn't actually in 'full screen'. I think I come across some music website. Basically it has an artistic anime-style kind of epic drawing. The whole background has this intense vividness to it, which was hued in a surreal purple colour. It has this anime girl that looks like she's jumped forward and reaching out for something with a smile. The art style really impressed me and caught my eye. The website plays music, but for some reason I was too quick to click on the next link and skipped to a new page. Damn. I backspace and head to the previous window. Huh? The background has changed?? It's now a new drawing in the same epic style, a different girl (different clothes, face, haircut, etc) with a different colour hue (possibly orange this time). I refresh the page -- it changes again. Now it's like a steel grey. I think the girl on this one might have had a short fringe with silvery hair. Wow this is all pretty cool, but I really wanted to see the one from the first page. I keep refreshing a couple more times cycling through the art, some of which comes up multiple times. I end up talking to the person who apparently makes it all, the artist herself. I'm not sure how we're communicating, it's like she's communicating through the screen. I'm also sitting at my desk with my laptop in front of me instead of being on my iPhone. I can't remember what we were talking about, possibly about who she is and how she may or may not be the artist? Shit gets crazy as we talk though. Like... absolutely chaotic. She shows me the art on her website and it's no longer static. Some of which is video clips but they flash past my eyes so fast. One clip is from Bakemonogatari (an anime) as a hint, suggesting that she is the artist who draws it (which in my head explains why her art is so amazing). But it just gets so crazy because it's all so vivid and fast, the next part there's an image of an anime girl who mimics the artists words. Her movements come in a strobe-like fashion, the screen flickers rapidly, her face appearing to tilt right while her smile broadens into this insane toothy grin with wide eyes. What the f*ck is going on? Everything is so colourful and vivid with so much change in the lighting. Orange, green, blue, purple, black, white. It's quite beautiful. Next scene she sends me porn which I try to ignore, then realize that it's still open on my browser. I have to close it down manually. I open up a screen which shows all my active apps and try delete it, only to find that there's an endless stream of porn videos open on my phone/laptop. How the hell did this happen?? If someone saw this they'd think I was a pervert. There's just too much and I don't even know what happens but I wake up, realizing that I'm now in my room for real. It was just so realistic though.

On my 20th day of no PMO using the Brainbuddy app. Safe to say that it definitely affected my last dream O_O. My dream recall improved last night too (the 2 nights before my exam yesterday were below my average by quite a bit). From today onwards I have a lot of spare time until I head back to the North Island. I'll be dedicating a lot more time to my dream practices I think from now on (i.e. ADA, DEILD, meditation, + other related stuff like reading ETWOLD)