lucid

...

Note: Tonight I fell asleep with some very ambitious goals including checking to see if L will leave Asuka alone if she goes out, dream view a dream MoSh had quite a while ago where he was speaking with don Juan, sharing a DDO dream with Tigress, finding and doing another healing spell on Xildron, tasks of the year… the list of my goals just seems to go on and on… I fell asleep with my light / sound machine and successfully slipped into a WILD…

I found myself in a very familiar setting standing in the front yard of MoSh's house in his inner world. I went right up to the door without any hesitation, I wanted to get going on my goals. I knocked on the door and MoSh answered it. He was smiling when he saw me and he opened the door to let me in. When I looked around the room I saw Asuka sitting in the living room watching something on television. I walked over to Asuka and looked to see what she was watching, there was nothing actually on the television and I wondered why Asuka was staring at a blank screen. As if on cue, Asuka got up and came over to me, she said she was ready to go out and see that L had gotten the picture that he needs to leave her alone. I asked her where she wanted to go this time, it really should be somewhere she would be likely to go on her own. She said she knew of a mountain spring that was very relaxing. She said it was a place where she hoped to take MoSh someday so they could relax there and have some time to themselves. She said she was waiting until he started remembering her more consistently, though. After fusing with Asuka by using the fusion amulet she opened a portal and we went through it as one person.

The other side of the portal was a beautiful place. There was a crystal clear pool of water with colorful flowers growing on the surface of the water, numerous lily pads dotted the surface of the water as well. Colorful butterflies were flitting around near the shores of the pool, and there were even some butterflies out on the lily pads farther out in the pool.

It really was a very peaceful scene. I could see why Asuka would want to spend some time alone there with MoSh. I just let Asuka go where she wanted to go since she knew this place and liked it, and she waded into the water a bit. The water was very pleasant, and there were small fish tickling my feet. We spent quite a bit of time there wandering around the place, exploring all the hidden areas to find what wonders might be found there. We spent so much time there that I was beginning to wonder if the dream was going to end without L showing up… that would be a good sign that he had learned something from the last time he had kidnapped Asuka. After spending a bit longer there, Asuka said she was ready to go home… but first she wanted to go into the water in her own body, because the water here is so wonderfully refreshing and she couldn't feel it as well when fused with someone else. So we separated right there. Asuka swam out into the water still in her kimono which floated out beside her in an ethereal way. She sank beneath the surface of the water.

I had turned away from Asuka for only a short time to take a closer look at some of the beautiful flowers, to go over to them and smell them. The flowers were beautifully fragrant, and their fragrance was also very relaxing. I was smelling the flower when I heard some sounds from behind me. I turned around just in time to see there was a pair of tendrils were reaching through a portal and wrapped around Asuka, pulling her towards the portal. Wtf? I chased after her as she disappeared through the portal, jumping out over the pool of water and reaching to grab hold of Asuka's leg as she was disappearing through the portal. Then the portal was gone. I was yelling at an empty sky to give Asuka back right now, you yellow bellied bastard. My first thought was that L had come after Asuka again, well he would pay for that… I focused on opening a portal to follow Asuka to wherever she had been taken, then I flew through the portal ready to kick the ass of whoever I found on the other side.

I emerged from the portal in a world that looked like it was entirely made up of crystal formations. There was a sun shining brightly in the sky and rainbows were reflecting off of many of the crystal formations that made up the landscape. It was really a very beautiful place that I wouldn't have minded visiting if I hadn't been following after Asuka… Things being as they were, however, I didn't take time to notice the beauty of the place. I looked around for any sign of Asuka having had been through there recently. The fact was that I didn't see any sign of human life anywhere let alone Asuka… some very shiny butterflies were flitting around the crystal formations just as the ones near the mountain spring had been flitting around the flowers there. I called out to Asuka a couple of times, scanned for any trace of her, and I found nothing. I was in the wrong place! I wasn't sure how I had managed to get to the wrong place, but I tried the portal again.

I exited this portal to find myself about five feet in the air over a pool of rancid water. I wasn't ready to be in the air, so I fell right into the disgusting water which reminded me of sewer water. It was disgusting! It smelled bad, it was covered with a thick layer of slime, although the area around it didn't look contaminated or anything. It was just a typical stagnant pool of water. I paid about as much attention to the foul water as I had to the beautiful crystals, I flew back out of the pool and scanned the area for Asuka, for any trace of Asuka. Once again I could not find any sign that Asuka was there or that she had ever been there, at least not recently. Whoever had taken Asuka, I was on a wild goose chase, somehow they were making it so my portals weren't getting me to her! I was getting pissed at ending in the wrong places. I landed on dry land, felt like I was going to wake up when I didn't want to, so I dilated time. Something was keeping me from tracking down Asuka, and the first person on my list of suspects was still L, so instead of focusing my portal to follow Asuka I focused it on going to L's inner world. There was a bit of resistance when I tried opening the portal but it was nothing I couldn't easily overcome.

This time when I exited the portal I was in L's inner world, near his pool where I usually appear. I scanned the area for Asuka again, and I knew right away I had found the place she had been taken. I approached the house to see if they were in there, Asuka's energy frequency was still around the place from her last visit so it was a bit harder to tell which signals were more recent. When I headed for the house, however, Kanmuri came from around the corner of the house and pointed towards a building I hadn't noticed before. She said if I was looking for Asuka, L had taken her in there and insisted on being left alone, and when she had just peeked in out of curiosity L had gotten so pissed off at her… she said she didn't know what was going on in there. That was clearly where I had to go next, though.

I followed a path to the building which appeared to be a guest house, and though the path was very pleasant and beautiful with trees and flowers around it, now it seemed like a path descending into a nightmare. I didn't want anyone to see my approach so I used the song Of Wolf and Man by Metallica to change my form into a small blue bird since there were many similar birds around the area. I flew over to the guest house and landed on a window sill. I looked in through the window and I saw both Asuka and L, and I immediately wanted to kill L slowly and painfully. Asuka was sitting on a couch with no restraints or anything to keep her from leaving, but she was staring off into space with a blank expression on her face. She was also quite bruised and she was crying.

L was sitting beside her with his arm around her, had he been the one who had beaten her? He had wanted to take Asuka with him so he could beat her? Or had he done that out of anger over the torturing she (I) had given him last night? An unforeseen backlash of that tactic, making L want to get revenge for the pain she (I) had put him through.

I no longer cared about being unnoticed, instead I changed back to my normal form, my Assassin form, and kicked the front door of the guest house open, it slammed open with a loud crash that made L jump about three feet in surprise. Asuka didn't respond. I used telekinesis to slam L against the wall hard enough to put cracks in it, I asked him what the fuck he had done to Asuka, why was she like that, what had happened. He sniffed the air and said someone sure stank… I said it was him who stank even though I was pretty sure he was referring to the stink of the rancid water that was still on me. I demanded again to know what he had done to Asuka. He said he had just been playing games with her, those games that she seemed to like so well, it seemed she didn't like them anymore. He was laughing the whole time he said that, so I pounded the laughter out of him by slamming him around the room some more using telekinesis and I ended up slamming him right through one of the interior walls into the bathroom where I made sure his face landed in the toilet, actually he hit the toilet hard enough to crack the bowl… the icing on the cake was when raw sewage backed up from the pipe below and washed over L…

I looked over at Asuka, who had still not responded to anything that had happened. She seemed to have not noticed L getting thrown around the room, she hadn't noticed me yelling at him, she hadn't noticed him going through the wall or getting covered with sewage… I went over to Asuka, who didn't respond to my presence, but when I went to help her stand up she was very compliant to that. I focused on healing her injuries, I would do more healing on her once I had her somewhere safe. If she would snap out of this strange trance for anyone, that person would be MoSh. I opened a portal to get to MoSh's inner world and led Asuka through it.

I carefully helped Asuka out of the portal into the front yard of MoSh's house. I led her up to the front door with ease, she was offering no resistance, but she was also not reacting to the change in location. What the fuck had that asshole done to her to make her this unresponsive? We reached the front door and I opened it to find MoSh was right inside, he had been about to open the door. He asked what had happened, what was wrong with Asuka, who had done that to her, what had they done to her… I said I didn't know what had been done to her, but it was L who had done it. I told MoSh that L had shown up and kidnapped Asuka to take her… MoSh interrupted, asking how could I just let L have Asuka? I continued to tell MoSh that she had been taken, I had tracked her down to L's inner world and when I got to her she had been like this, worse in fact, it looked like L had been beating her. MoSh said something about a picture being real, and it had happened because I had let L take Asuka… what picture? He took Asuka into his arms and said something about so many men… so many men? I had only seen L… I told MoSh that Asuka needed healing, and he said any fool could see that. I said I would help him heal her, but he just glared over at me, he said Asuka didn't need any more of my help, I had clearly 'helped' her more than enough. He said they didn't need that kind of help. He slammed the door before I could say anything else.

I paused, I wanted to go inside and try to explain things to MoSh, but he was right… I was supposed to have been protecting Asuka, not just letting L walk off with her to do whatever he wanted to her… if I'd just been more careful she wouldn't have gotten taken, L wouldn't have done whatever it was he did to her… Maybe I should send Basara back over to do some healing on Asuka, who clearly needed it. How was she doing now that she was with MoSh? I walked around to the side of the house and peeked in through a window to see if I could find the two of them. First I saw Asuka's clothes tossed carelessly aside in the room. Then I saw Asuka was sitting naked in a corner of the room and I could see MoSh trying to get her to come out. Asuka wasn't responding to him, she had her knees pulled up to her chest, making herself as small as possible, and she was crying. That was because of what L had done to her, whatever he had done it must have been pretty awful to leave her in such a state. Seeing her like that made me want to hurt L, and hurt him bad, really bad.

So now it was time for L to pay, and the price was high. I opened a portal back to L's inner world and went through it looking to draw some blood. Kanmuri was standing near my portal when I got there, I asked her where L was, where was that foul piece of shit hiding, because I had some business to discuss with him… Kanmuri asked what was going on, she asked what had been wrong with Asuka when I had brought her out from the guest house? She had figured L was in there trying to coax Asuka into bed with him and probably epic failing at that, he wouldn't have hurt her, would he? I scanned the area for L and found him in the main house, I headed straight for him with Kanmuri following after me. She wouldn't shut up. L didn't hurt Asuka, did he? She said she knows he can be an ass sometimes, but she couldn't see him actually doing anything to hurt Asuka… he's too crazy about her… I told Kanmuri, focusing a bit too much of my anger on her, that I didn't know what L had done to Asuka, but he had definitely hurt her, and he'd hurt her bad. Kanmuri stopped and had a shocked look on her face as she watched me go into the house.

I found L in the living room kicked back on the couch as if nothing was wrong in the world, and that just pissed me off more. He looked up at me and smiled, he said it was so nice to see me again. He said if I wanted him all to myself, he could have said so instead of coming in and stealing Asuka. That was it, I was much too pissed off for words. All I could feel inside was unstable dark energy, but I didn't make any effort to control it, I just let it do what it wanted. The shadows in one corner of the room came to life as a swarm of scarab beetles each the size of a golf ball.

I used telekinesis to hold L still long enough for the bugs to get on him. The scarabs didn't stay still long enough for L to get them off, they immediately burrowed their way into L's skin, tunneling through his flesh as he was screaming in pain. I could see the moving bumps of the scarabs underneath L's skin, and he was apparently desparate to get rid of them as he tore through his own skin to get to one of the scarabs and pull it out. He threw the bug on the floor and stomped on it. So he had gotten rid of one of about ten bugs that were now tunneling through his flesh… several of which were in places he could not hope to reach. He was yelling at me or someone else to get those things out of him, get them OUT! While L was writhing on the floor in pain I was kicking him as hard as I could, anything to make him pay for what he had done… I'm not sure how long he was writhing and trying to reach the scarabs under his skin, how long I was kicking him before he was finally still, there was blood coming out of his mouth… and finally I woke, not really wanting to remember the events of this dream…

OMG. So finally I wore myself out completely after running errands all day yesterday. When I went to bed, I was telling myself that I would remember my dreams over and over like a mantra and more often recently I've been looking at my hands and telling myself to remember to do that in my dreams. From the lucids I've had already, it's not the realizing that I'm dreaming that I was having trouble with that I need to do RCs all the time, it's the stabalizing that I need to work on, and I know looking at your hands helps. Also when I was falling asleep I thought about the nature of dreaming in general and that I'm a whole person in my dreams and I never really have gotten the chance to realize that in a lucid. Ugh. I better add goals to my signature. Anyway, I had another lucid last night!! YAY!!

The Skank is at my House

We were in a house that doesn't exist IRL and the skank went out the window to smoke a cigarette. I crawled out the window and sat on the roof with her.

The Lucid Bookstore and the Dorm Room

I'm at the bookstore that I work at and I am walking through the area where the textbooks are kept. I keep seeing money everywhere, just little piles of cash, sometimes change. I'm picking it up and I take a look at the bills and they're not your typical denominations, they're like $4 bills and stuff. This makes me realize that I must be dreaming, so I become lucid. The first thing I do is get a sense of myself and look at my hands. Then I look up and walk out of the bookstore and into a college campus. There are people walking to a dorm building and I follow them. I open the door and go up several flights of stairs following this one guy to his room. In his room he has some beakers on his desk like from a chemistry set. As I was going to ask him to remove his clothes (just to see if I could while I was lucid) I lost lucidity.

I think so far that's the longest I've been lucid.

*Non-Lucid at first, then Lucid.*

It started out as a non-lucid dream. Me, a girl with messy brown hair, and another girl were in some sort of video game. We entered a cave and started walking through. We stopped at a corridor. It had two hallways and we were trying to find out which hallway to go through. Then, we heard a roar come out of one of them, and, out came a mummy. We ran through the opposite hallway and came to a dead-end. We could hear the mummy behind us. We were desperate to find a way out, then, I found a secret passage and we ran through.

The two girls went to talk to an old man that was in the room we went into. I, on the other hand, was looking for a way to get out. I opened a door and there was sort of a train track inside. The three of us heard the mummy's roar, and we ran into the train track room. We kept running until there was another dead-end. Then, a bright light washed over us. When the light faded, I was standing in front of my house. Then, I found out that I was in a dream. I had little time before waking up, so, I called out to my DG. The person who replied this time was none other than...the girl with messy brown hair from the mummy game.

It turns out my DG was giving me a test before I could meet her. I passed, then met her. She looked nothing like she did in my second LD. I remembered my first LD and asked her if she could teach me to fly. She did, she told me to flap my wings like a bird, and it worked. Then, I made a mistake. I took advantage of her and tried to kiss her. She disappeared and a different girl appeared in front of me. I looked for her and found her in my sister's room, read the book, "Gone With the Wind". (awesome book) Then, I woke up.

*I made the mistake by trying to kiss her, I hadn't seen her in a dream since then.*

It was in my house and the whole school was lined up for assembly in my back garden. The teachers were kicking balls up and we had to cathc them. Somehow some friends and I 'landed up' in my parents bedroom. We kicked and threw heavy objects around. A bowling ball was thrown and broke in half (at this point i knew it was a dream, although i absolutely forgot i could try exercise some control, as it was my second recall. I always noticed a green car outside teh window. I was not scared about anything. And that Shakira song 'waka waka' or whatever was playing?? I don't like that type though =) .

Uncharacteristicly insane dreams from me today. Recall and lucid thinking were pretty bad though. Mostly just sort of semi-lucid but red was the most vivid. I remeber the first dreams as a mish-mash of scenes.

Action At My Aunt's House (dild + deild)

First, I became lucid somehow and I was at my aunt's house. I took off all my clothes which might sound odd but was quite liberating. Maybe even helped with dream control because it reaffirmed I was dreaming. I effortlessly fly into the air but see a TV with a beach on it. Now is my chance to try teleporting and maybe even go surfing. I dive into the TV. I lose all vision but play dead. I re-enter the same dream.

I fly into the air again to confirm I am dreaming and I see a friend. We talk about lucid dreaming and he said we are sharing a dream or someothing. He can see me from the real world and I'm naked. I fall to one knee and yell "What am I doing? Can you see me?" He knows the answer. I contest. You are probably a computer. YOu know the location of my knee on the axies in space.

Another scene forms, my friend turns into a naked women and we just sort of run around eurphoricly like we are in the Garden Da Vida (that is in the bible, right?). Well, I fell on top of this women and things take a turn....but nothing happens because I lose vision but again play dead and re-enter the same dream.

Another scene emerges. I walk down past the house and 4 cop cars come blaring up the drive way. "Finally! Some action!" I yell and my friend is back. WIthout hesitation I throw I huge arching fireball and blow the first car to smithereens. Monsters, not cops, get out of the cars and run at us. I use a vocal yell to use the Insect Swarm from Bioshock (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OE4jjNA89g). I throw bees from my arm at them. At first only a few bees but the second time is a swarm and I even hit my friend by mistake. I drive all the monsters away but the leader. He just slwoly walks towards me with a serious look on his face and I can't stop him. I don't know how. I fly up and over the house into the yard where another scene happens.

There is a guitarist there with a weird wireframe grid on his guitar. He said it is to micro his guitar better. Something happens and I get into a fight with my friend. He charges. "Real world rules only!" The guitarist yells. I uppercut my friend and he gets knocked into outer space. Quite literally.

I wake up into an FA. Final scene, I walk downstairs and see DogW and a dead version of her. I continue into the kitchen where M and my aunt are cooking. There was nother FA where I was talking to my friend about taking notes.

Juggernaut (non-lucid)

I'll make this vivid dream quick. I am in some sort of warehouse with old high school friends. I was running from a guy that tried to kill me. Poison me or something. This guy tries to sell a big bag of lettuce as weed. When my friends look away, he places some poison weed inside. I tell them about it. "Don't smoke that!". They try to turn it into a cop but he shoots and kills them. This dealer guy pursues me. I sneak around the warehouse and hope over stone walls.

I see this huge 8 foot 500 pound guy running through the stone walls. I cower int he corner hoping he doesn't see me. He is being pursued as well. "Turn yourself into these guys." he tells me. "Yeah. Ok. Anything. You just keep going." Vomit-like pours from his mouth. He turns and runs. Turns to me one last time and the vomit is gone. He smiles.

I like to think I recruited this man as my dream team ally. He is the tank, obviously.

In the first dream I was apparently at school with the band, but it was last year's band. I was sitting with V and A. We were all talking and getting out instruments ready.

Then I had a LD. I don't remember how it started, but I was at the ranch at first. I was strolling around, not really thinking about what to do. I saw a girl with a chubby and sturdy white horse that had a pink jacket. I asked her what the horse's name was, and she said it was "Rascal."

I then saw K. I decided to try to tell her that we were dreaming; I wondered what would happen. I told her that we were, and to my surprise, she scoffed at me. She got mad and told me to do something else. I shrugged and wandered off to do other things. I can't remember what else I did, but the dream lasted fairly long.

Then I was at school. We were preparing for a dance in the gym. Everyone was getting changed. I only had this ugly black dress that was really shiny but made with cheap material. It was short and had one of those stupid bands on bottom, which made it totally shapeless. I was annoyed that I couldn't have brought anything nicer.

The school suddenly turned into a rec center. I wanted to quickly take a shower before I dressed, but among the many washrooms and changeroosm I couldn't find one with a shower. Every room had a label that said "changeroom" and then beside it a class from D2. I found some asian guy who seemed to be the janitor and asked him for a changeroom with a washroom. He said they were closed as he showed me a schedule for the changeroom cleaning. I thanked him and took the map. Then I realized that I had asked for the washroom, not the shower. I shook my head in frustration. How could I be so stupid?

As I looked back at this schedule map thing, I saw that "changeroom - assassin" had a shower in it, as so did "changeroom - druid" (but I assumed that that one was the male changeroom). I quickly rushed over. I saw a few of my friends along the way.

Then, in the next dream, I was watching this glowing bug thing. It left a trail in the night sky. I can't even really remember what happened, but I was watching this bug-flower thing leave colorful trails everywhere, and I was following it. I also remember looking at the sky (it was night time) and thinking how I would like to jump up and see the stars closer. I briefly remember seeing SA somewhere.

*Lucid Dream and Dream Fragment*

I found myself in a purple midst. I couldn't really tell where I was. When I found out I was in a dream, I decided to find my DG. I yelled out, "Do I have a Dream Guide?!" Someone behind me replied, "Yes, yes you do." I turned around to see a blurry vision of a girl. Then, I woke up.

*This LD was kind of special*

lucid dreams: 7-22-10

I have been having trouble remembering my dreams lately, so I can only recall fragments.


Short Lucid Fragment

In one dream, I was talking to someone who I think was important. Actually, they were talking to me. I was lucid the whole time, but just sat there and listened. The background was a blue sky, and we were up in the clouds. I wish I could remember what was being said.


Mr. Echo

I think this dream might have been a lucid one since I wanted to wake up from it..

I fell back asleep using the FILD method, which actually works really well. But when the dream opened, Mr. Echo from the television show Lost showed up. For some reason, I was really scared of him and didn't want to see him or talk to him so I tried to wake myself up again. He said something like "no.. wait!" but it was too late.I was drifting in and out of the dream. Finally I decided to return to the dream but I just couldn't get back to it.

Dream Fragments, some Lucid, some not

Several times I would realize these weren't real, but I decided to not mess with it because it was entertaining.

Small Animal

I was some sort of small animal, but could still talk. There was something about a lake at night, and then I was in a room with bright lights.
I was putting on boots slowly
I was in some animal court, sentenced to death for stealing, but apparently, the method was a roller coaster (kind of).
At the roller coaster, you ride on a skateboard with very strange wheels. There was a metal plate on each side, and on one side the plate had 3 holes, and on the other they had 4 Apparently they can come off easily, because they did and I spent some time putting it back together.
Once the ride begun, it was like a normal roller coaster, and I didn't die.
Afterward, the other animals were all dumbfounded, and let me go.
I was driving a car (still a weird small animal) and a bear began chasing me. However, when he caught up, every time he tried to scare me, I would show it some crazy picture of what it was trying to do on my cell phone, and it would burst into laughing.

New School?

I was in some sort of secret underground rebel base (anti government?) and I was there to transfer my driver's licenses. My dad gave me these things that I had to sign, but he taped them to my hand. This made it rather difficult, but then I realized "Hey, I'm left handed" (I'm not actually). So then I signed them. Then somehow I got to a school, that was a mix of my old school and my new school. The people were the same, but the building was different. There were weird orange plastic mesh barricades set up in the hallways for some reason, and then I realized I had no idea where I was going. So then I decided to go to the office. There I found my old middle school secretary lady working there, and I asked for a schedule. The things I signed earlier had now turned into a full hand cast on both hands. Then my friend Mark said "What did you do to your hands this time?". I told him that sometimes things happen. There was also some weird teacher lady I had never seen before.

I walk into a grocery store, and there is a person in all black by the door after I enter. He was wearing a black shirt that said "Free Alpha Wolf and Beta Wolf." I kept walking, and started thinking to myself how weird it was that the person was wearing that shirt.

Then I thought to myself, well, maybe I am dreaming? So I do an RC at the sign where it says "bathrooms." I looked away and looked back, and the sign turned into the letter "m". Looked away and looked back and it turned into symbols. I also noticed when I looked down I didn't have any pants on, just boxers.

"Holy shit, I am dreaming!"

I remember thinking to myself how real it felt, and it was very, very vivid. I decide to try and relax and to explore my environment for a while before I decided to do a transformation. So, I walk into the bathroom and start to look around.

As I am heading down this hallway, the weight of the entire dream shifted to one side. Then right as I gained my balance and got up, the weight shifted to the other side. All of a sudden I started freaking out. For some reason I figured that while I was in this dream, I was in my car driving, and that was why my weight started to shift from side to side in my dream.

I wanted to wake up, I started trying to force myself to wake up by any means possible. I was yelling and punching the mirror, but that only seemed to make things clearer and more lucid ironically. It was a weird feeling, because I never wanted to get out of a lucid before this, and it felt like I was genuinely stuck in the dream world.

I decided to just relax and calm down. I figured if I was stuck in a lucid dream, might as well take advantage of it. So, I continued down the hall way looking around.

When I turn the corner, I see that it is a guys dressing room for like a gym. I recognized some of the faces, and it was a little awkward.

"This has got to change." I said out loud to myself, "The next corner I turn, this dressing room will turn into a ladies dressing room."

Sure enough, around the next bend the room was filled up with extremely attractive women getting dressed and undressed.

I said out loud, "Now this is more like it."

starting to feel a tad perverted, I decided to leave it behind and continue on to explore. On the wall of the ladies dressing room was a hand dryer with some words on it,and I decided to make another reality check with it. I looked away and looked at it again. The words above the dryer then turned into some symbols. Did it again, the words turned into letters in no particular order. I finally did it one more time and the words spelled out "droy dinosaurs."
I thought it was hilarious so I crept closer to the words and made a mental note to make sure and remember it to write in my dream journal when I woke up.

I think that making this mental note actually kick-started me into waking up. I started to feel my body in my bed, and I completely forgot to recover it by spinning or rubbing my hands.

Note: Finally! Didn't end up doing what I really wanted in the dream, but at least it is an end of a dry spell for me.

The Hotel Room and the Missing Board Shorts

So I'm in a hotel room and my parents have left to go somewhere but have not told me when they'd be back. There's someone else in the room on the bed but it's no one I know. After a while of just looking around, I get the feeling that they've left me and aren't coming back at all. So I start packing up all my stuff. Into a suitcase I'm putting all my clothes from the vacation. Shorts, t-shirts. I must be somewhere beachy. So I'm thinking... I really want to go to the pool or the beach. I start looking for my board shorts because when I look down I'm wearing khaki shorts and gym shoes and I just can't go swimming in that. I look in the bathroom thinking maybe they were wet and hanging over the edge of the bathtub... not in there. I look through everything I packed... not in there. Then I look under the bed... there are two Pez dispensers, but no board shorts. I look in between the bed and the nightstand... there are two pairs of Adio shoes, my grey ones and my black ones... and a glass of red wine... but no board shorts. I start finding all the shoes I own currently in the hotel room and I put them all in a silver Express bag. I go through my stuff again and find the board shorts!! They're black and white, but I was looking for purple ones. I pack them. I walk out of the hotel room.

The Lucid Casino

I'm walking out of the hotel room thinking, maybe I won't go for a swim, but I'll go to the casino. Mom and dad are gone, they won't care. I think on the way that I've left my player card in between the mattress and box spring back in the hotel room. It was fleeting though, because I kept going to the casino. I get there and look in my back pocket and find among other things my player card. I walk up the the first slot machine I see and put in my player card and choose to play all reels. I see that I only have like three dollars left, but it's on my player card, not on a slip of paper. Anyway, I play once and win like $20. Which is awesome because I am pretty sure I'm only playing penny slots. So I play all reels again and... I hit the jackpot! Something comes up on the screen that says it's just going to give me cash. I look down and sure enough there's a dispenser spitting out ones... then fives. I have a stack of almost all five dollar bills like a foot and a half tall. On the top the last bill to come out is a $50,000 bill. I look at it and it's from the casino, not real money. It says I'm in a drawing to win ten million dollars and the odds are three in twenty. Not bad. So I think I need to cash this in for smaller bills. I go to "customer service" and tell the lady that I need to change this out. It was really hard to walk with all that cash. I put it down on the counter and the stack tipped over. She was surprised at all that cash and asked how I wanted it. I said fiftys and hundreds. Then... I tried to text Andrea to tell her I just won $50,000!! I look at my phone and it's like a sidekick. I don't have a sidekick. Texting her didn't work. I was thinking, am I in Vegas or Atlantic City? My heart is racing... and I think... this oh no, this is all wrong... this can't be real... I'm dreaming this. And I think I told the lady at the counter, "This isn't real, is it?" And I just thought, FUCK. I really wish this were real. I got so angry and I started telling the lady, "This is $50,000. I was going to pay my car off, my student loans, all my bills!" The logic part of my brain kicked in. But for a moment, everything was so life like. I really felt like I was standing at the counter there, feet on the ground, counting all that money. I was too upset to try to do anything now that I was lucid. I was looking at my phone that was all wrong, trying to tell myself, this isn't a dream, this is real!! I was trying to convince myself that I really had just won all that money. The lady asks me if I was on machine 258 because she was reading the stats this morning and that one was supposed to pay out today. I said I didn't know, and then in the middle of the stack of money was a paper with the machine info on it. She looked at it then showed me and sure enough I was on machine 258. Then the lady hands me a touch screen thing to sign for the money and I asked her didn't she want to see my id. She said no. Fuck. I'm really dreaming. So I'm losing my lucidity. I take the thing to sign and it's so hard to write my name with this stylus she handed me. Then I look at it and my last name isn't spelled right. I go into some options screen to change everything to times new roman and fix my last name but it doesn't work. Then Andrea's alarm went off.

The Amazing Christmas Lights

I was driving down the street leaving my parents' house when I look up and notice there is a tree that's about 400 feet tall with Christmas lights all over it. They're LED lights, not just your normal old school lights. I know this because I drove into the neighborhood and found what street it was on. All down the street there were more trees like that one, just not as large. I must have gotten out of the car somewhere along the way because the next thing I know I'm in someone's backyard on their deck overlooking a lake sitting in a chair talking to them telling them about the lights. Then I look up in the sky and there is a beautiful fireworks display. I told the people I was with to look out on the lake to see the reflection of all the fireworks.

The Lucid Beach

I was at the beach looking out into the ocean. There were people there in the water and I see sharks coming. I thought to myself that's unsafe. So I changed the sharks into dolphins. The waves were crashing and the dolphins were jumping in and out of the waves. I raised my hands above my head and the waves grew really tall! I put my hands down and it wasn't like my other beach dreams where they get out of control when they crash. They just kind of shrank back down to normal. I raised my arms again with emphasis this time and the wave grew as high as the sun was up in the sky. I put my arms back down and the waves went back down again. That's when it hit me... I'm making this happen... I'm dreaming this!!

So I thought of everything I had read on DV and tried to stay calm. The first thing I did was rub my hands together. I could actually feel myself rubbing my hands together. It was bizarre. Such a different feeling than anything I had dreamed before. I had never felt something like that. I looked around and I was still on the beach, it looked a little bit more stable and a bit more clear. I really felt like I was standing on the beach. I wanted it to feel even more real, so I said, "Clarity now!!" Never before in a dream had I felt and heard myself say something. I just kind of felt dialogue, but this felt like I was awake hearing myself say something. But, it didn't make anything that much more clear. I think I was too excited about how it felt to be lucid. I remembered one more thing I wanted to do. I tried to spin. I closed my eyes and thought not about being somewhere else particularly, but just not being on the beach anymore. The first thing I came up with was kind of a construction site, but I didn't want to be there, so I tried to spin again and I ended up back at the beach. It was then that I lost lucidity. I think I was either too excited that it was actually working or frustrated that I ended up back at the beach. I probably should have just stayed there anyway. I can't wait to try again!!

I just remembered.... I felt at some point like I had woken up and Andrea came into the bedroom from the living room where she said she was looking up recipes. I was sleeping at the bottom of the bed instead of at the top. When I actually woke up I asked her if I said anything in my sleep and she said she didn't hear anything and I was never at the bottom of the bed. I wonder if that's a false awakening. I'm going to read about that now.

Non dream|nonlucid|lucid

It's just barely my birthday. I decided to take a short nap.

I lay for a while, body starts twitching, vibrating all over. I start seeing random partial scenes, still unsure as to whether I'm 'far enough in yet' to start building. I try, just a little, to move my body. I'm in SP. Feel like my fingers weigh a ton. Okay, I think, so I'm good to go. I stare into the darkness. Ask myself what I should be doing. Show me something useful. Remind me what to do. Ah! A lightbulb comes over my head. I've never flown. I guess I'll try it. I'm not sure what else to do with myself. I've tried 'flying' before but I just ended up jumping really high, wasn't trying hard enough. Well, here goes. I stand straight and insist that I'm 'like a bullet fired up from the ground'.

Well, I flew alright- STRAIGHT UPWARD. I start SHOOTING into space, weaving between asteroids and past planets. I see Jupiter and Saturn go by. I start going faster and faster, and I'm starting to freak out because the speed is causing 'wind resistance' as I cut through friggen space, and the roaring of it is making my ears hurt really bad. (Wtf.) I say to myself hey, it doesn't matter. It's just a dream. It's not like my ears 'actually hurt'. I try to ignore it. The pain just ramps up.

I feel my head start lolling to the side, sliding down the pillow.

The pain has gotten intolerable. I sigh and stop, floating in space. The ROARing in my ears still continues like I've got the meanest invisible earbuds playing static on max volume. It's like some kind of glitch is happening and I'm still 'hearing wind resistance' even though I'm stationary- and what's worse, it's *in* my ears, not coming from somewhere else.

I feel my hand now also begin to slide off the couch. My body begins to follow it, slowly rolling down onto the floor.

I try to do my usual 'hand crank in the air to turn down the volume'. The volume won't go down. I begin to wonder if something in WL is causing this. The pain doesn't stop. I start to lose my concentration. I feel my center of gravity get all jacked up, like my body is being flipped over.

I hear the halfglass of water and box of tissues get knocked off the foot of the couch by my feet as I roll over and fall, on my back, onto the floor. I lay there for a while, completely still, wondering if I can just keep dreaming regardless. I keep my eyes closed and focus on the planets I'd just seen move by. No dice. I open my eyes and start trying to move, but I'm still coming out of sleep paralysis. (For me, trying to move during sleep paralysis feels BADONG and uncomfortable- like a turd going back up your ass when you're trying to pinch one off.) I lay there for a while with my eyes barely open, unmoving. I look over and see that I've somehow overturned the couch while falling. Sigh.

I wrench myself out of it and get up, to set the couch back upright again. I start clearing the table and cleaning the house like I should've been in the first place. I am grouchy now. The couch is heavier than I expected, I start putting all my weight into shoving it. HRRGHHH

Realize the 'HURGH' discomfort is coming from my body, still in SP, still trying to move. I see the livingroom light behind my eyelids now. I'm awake. I lay there for a while to make sure I'm out of it before I start moving. I get up. DRAT.

NOTES: In the FA, there were several things that should have indicated it wasn't WL, that I failed to notice: 1. I was in my exboyfriend's flannel robe. I went to sleep in a pair of shorts. 2. THE COUCH WAS SIDEWAYS. No matter how hard a 125lb person 'falls off' a 6foot couch, the couch does *not* 'flip over' from the sheer force of them falling off while sleeping. Wtf. 3. I ONLY 'fall off the bed' during FA's! I've only fallen off the bed 'for real' ONE TIME when I was a kid. How would I be 'sliding off the 'bed' during SP?! Derp. 4. The livingroom light was off, and the lamp was on- so it was dark. In WL I'd left all the lights on.

Non-dreamnon-lucidlucid

Kit had described to me a nightmare she had in which there was a family who lived in a home in the middle of the woods. She described that the family overall behaved normally, but that something seemed Very Very Wrong about them. I asked her if, upon waking, she had pinpointed any of the subtleties that might explain the undercurrent of malaise. She mentions that there was melted snow on the lawn, and in the distance the forest is covered in snow, even though it's autumn. They also keep the fire roaring constantly even though the house is sweltering, and the mother is constantly swaddled in down comforters. The bright young daughter repeatedly reminds everyone to 'keep your shoes by the door, just in case!' It's implied that 'something' will come into the house if the place isn't kept very hot. I ask her if she's ever considered revisiting the dream to find out what It is. She says no. I joke about finding out for myself.

My father and I are driving down a long road. As it progresses, we begin weaving through trees. It becomes snowier and snowier, until the veil of white is so encompassing that we can't see where we're going. He stops the car, and we're barely able to see a house off in the distance. He says he's going to go and ask them for help, possibly use their phone, stay right here. When he opens the door to get out, he zones staring into the snowstorm. I ask him 'What's up?' and he says, 'I just... Got a really bad feeling. Bah, nevermind... Hey. Just. Keep the heat running in here, okay? I'll be right back.' I agree and turn the heat on high.

He vanishes into the snow. Inside the car, the heat begins to die. My breath steams up inside. It grows darker, I notice the snow looks less like snow, and more like a blizzard of frozen ash. I hear something moving; the sound of footsteps echoing like stones thrown to the bottom of a deep dry well. They begin circling the vehicle, getting closer. I squint out the window and notice that all around the house, up on the hill, the snow is melted. I realize I'm in Kit's dream.

I pull out my father's business laptop and log on to AIM and start freaking out and asking her what I'm supposed to do to fend off the creature. 'DUDE. I'M IN THE FUCKING ICE PLACE. WHAT DO I DO?' 'wut' 'GOD DAMNIT IT'S COMING FUCK' I hear a strong wind blowing at the door, reaching out for the handle to open it. I slam the lock down. Realize there are three other doors, all still unlocked. It goes for the one behind me, I lock it- but as I'm pushing the lock down, it's already circling around the front and going for the front left. I push that one down, it's already going for the far rear. I hurl my body across the backseat to reach the lock, push it down, landing with my face inches from the window.

What the fuck ARE YOU? A face SLAMS against the window and smears across it. It looks like Ambi(girl who has been behaving like a stalker toward me), but it's more like her corpse, inhabited and puppeted by the ice, partially frozen, blue and wet with rot. Her eye contorts as it smears across the window. I begin to sob. 'There you go, Kit. There you fucking go, it's a SHAPE SHIFTER. It manifests in the form of whatever you're most afraid of, whatever you're most paranoid of, in the moment you see it.' Now that I know what it is, I'm scared thoroughly shitless. Realizing I'm scared has a snowball effect because it means I'm going to lose lucidity, and my ability to steer the dream before I go under.

I have to get out and face the blizzard, and 'fix it' so I stop having this nightmare before my chance is up and I go under. I'm getting rapidly distracted by fear. I open the car door and step out into it, and in a split second I feel my will being whisked away by the blizzard. 'ohfuck ohfuck I have to turn it into something else... Turn into a... a... shit! TURN INTO A BAR OF SOAP!'

I lose control right as the transformation happens. And for a moment actually can't remember why or how the monster turned into a bar of soap, or even that it was a monster. For a few moments I'm terribly confused and start to cry, because 'Oh my god, something is turning people into bars of soap... What the fuck is going on?!!' (note: my non-lucid dream self is usually a blithering idiot) I then remember that 'I'm the one who did this, I turned Ambi into a bar of soap!' despaaairrr, whiiiine! I start beating myself up over how stupid I am, how could I do such a thing- also, I am 'an idiot for choosing a bar of soap, because when the snow melts it will activate the soap, creating liquid soap and suds, the melt will carry it into the gutters and it will travel out to sea and HURT THE ECOSYSTEM OMG'. I bawl on my hands and knees in the snow like a moron. The dream ends.