lucid

NON LUCID
*Coby talks to me about my sister.
*My uncle can walk again thanks to some new technology.
*Reading about tonglen practice and how it should be conducted with the view of shunyata.


LUCID
*I don't remember when exactly I became lucid. I just remember attempting to teleport by covering my eyes with my hands then willing myself to a new location. As I was doing this everything faded into a blue sky like back ground. Then I thought maybe I should invoke a code name that represents by desired location that directly communicates to my sub conscious and it worked! The first time a successfully went from one location to a completely different one.

It starts to work with recognizing dream-signs - I had three spontaneous, but short lucid episodes last night.
Recognizing dream-signs.
In the first instance I summoned somebody successfully - I had thought of doing that going to bed.
The night before I had dreamt of him and wanted to meet and talk to him again.
Again using pretend-remembering - and he was around the corner, I choose.
This was the first time, I managed (second time I tried) to summon a real life person.

He sat on the floor and was unfortunately pretty life-less initially.
So I started engaging in conversation - and that dragged me back into non-lucidity.
But I enjoyed it.

Somewhere in between - I didn't journal, but woke up between dreams and recapitulated a bit - there was a nice dream-animal again - close to this summoning episode somewhere.
But this time it was different - bit over-colourful, bigger and with regular four legs (the other one had hind-legs like a rodent and the butt close to the floor).
But again with many, many vibrating whiskers - not only around the nose.
Didn't look as cute as the first one - rather silly - like having had a collision with a rainbow.

In a later dream I recognized my "most persistent one"- that I am overjoyed, that our old house in Bavaria still stands. Which it doesn't - and that came to me. And twice that spiked lucidity.
So I had a bit of playtime, which I spent with flying and walking about and marvelling at how even more beautiful the village had become in the meantime.

Ah - not to forget: This was a really vivid, colourful and detail-rich dream - lucidly and non-lucidly!

But stupidly - I went to where the house used to stand, and took a look at the several story nasty stuff, that had been built there instead - at least my imaginary version of it - and again it was strong emotions that robbed me of the lucidity.

I spent the rest of the dream berating and being quite cruel to my mother - mainly for having sold it for an apple and an egg (which is true).
Having her at my hands (or mouth, better to say - I am more in the verbal violence department) seemed more important than having a lucid dream.
Didn't do me good - didn't wake up satisfied, but feeling pretty lousy.
Not nice - waking up from being hateful.

Early evening of February 6th, 2014. Thursday.



This particular dream came about from more time in one “pulsing” session than usual, yet with shorter phrasing. Normally, I do feel as if my body is light and “misty” and any prior pain or discomfort vanishes completely (and stays gone for some time). I did not include any imagery programming of any kind (or any intended type of memory of visual activation), just general powerful phrases that have worked throughout my lifetime (although I do try new variations quite often - in this case I also used “Infinite Mind” in the phrasing as well as the usual “maximum well-being”). I was at the computer with headphones projecting my audio tracks at a very low volume, yet after about two hours of not paying much attention (consciously) to the sounds, I heard a very clear and distinctive “blip” in my right ear of the kind I have heard all my life when slipping into certain states of consciousness (usually when near some level of approaching hypnagogia). This is always the exact same sound and awareness shift, almost like hearing a drop of rain splashing on the top of a thin metal lid of a small jar. The sound has never varied in any way in my lifetime even slightly, which makes me know it is some sort of physical function relating to changes in consciousness and hypnagogia. It does not seem to relate at all to sleep paralysis - which always has a quite different higher-pitched oscillation, which also has always been exactly the same throughout my life in that state.

I almost lost consciousness without wanting to (my fault for letting the phrasing continue so long without focusing on an intended meditation session but I do this knowing that I do not have to actively listen for it to “work”) - and very suddenly - although I was not aware of any stable portal at the time regardless of the first “blip”. Being at this level with this particular type of special affirmation sequencing puts me in an extremely deep state even when not even listening at all - from a perceived “misty” or cloud-like physical form (by which I can still function well enough) to rock-heavy sensations (not commercial products - I only ever use my own work and knowledge of such - most commercial “tools” are not only “incorrect” - sometimes seemingly on purpose, likely to continue to make money from gullible people - but counterproductive or even dangerous or foolish by what they imply). As it was, I became too sleepy and physically “stunned” (not tired - there is a clear difference) to continue any work at the time, so I turned off the audio and rested a bit in bed. After a time, I fell into a very odd “stop” state as if I briefly died and had to “reignite myself” but not with the usual rekindled force of will - I did yell in real life at the time. After this happened, I felt very young and energized to the point where a very vague physical discomfort I had was no longer there anywhere at all - which lasted about a full twenty-four hours (often, though, such sessions do not show results until twenty-four hours later - it depends on the phrasing and how gerunds are used, it seems). Again, the “body as mist” awareness. I am honestly not sure how “material-based” or substantial this is - I am not sure of the full physical repercussions; that is, if my DNA is somehow altered - as it does seem so - I did gain full use of my left hand as a child when all the “experts” said it would not be possible due to separated nerves and tendons and the screw-up the doctor did. I did make a bad toothache vanish in a short time years ago - by which a sound like a large rock or boulder “speaking” hit me (and it seemed slightly annoyed - or maybe I perceived it incorrectly as I did not grasp what it said - but it was layered and very “loud” and in an extremely low pitch and frequency) and the toothache vanished and never came back. Similar things have happened including with the back pain I had sometime back where I could barely move without a lot of pain - but now I seem physically normal again.

During this time, I dreamed vividly of the backyard in Cubitis. I recalled something I had almost forgotten over the years - which is quite clear and vivid as I “float” around the imagery. It was the concrete birdbath my father had made my mother in the center of the yard. It was fairly large with a square top and a little “island” in the center. He wrote (engraved by moving the wet concrete) the year (and some other details including, I believe, my mother’s first name) on the top (I believe it was 1975). Also, I recall the tall round green bird-feeder we had (on a green pole). This is quite strange in how I had not held these two features in my mind for some time. I felt a sense of love and timelessness. The birdbath almost seemed like a “missing piece” of some kind and was also very clear in residual hypnopompic levels.

Hi! I'm back on Dreamviews after a pause, and now i'm back again.

I had a really intressting dream tonight, i was in the 1920s and i had my mobile phone with me. I asked them what year it was and they said it was the 1920s, and told something about a war. (Must have been ww1)

After that, i told them that i was from 2014, and they was very chocked, and i showed them the phone. It was really hard to explain how the phone worked, and i asked them if the knew what the radio was, and they have heard of it. I told them that the phone was the same thing, but MUCH newer. They kind of understand, but they tought that i was strange. I had a video loaded on Youtube on the phone, it was something about USAs president, and they got mad at me when i showed it.

This isn't the only dream i had, i had others aswell, about a future house i was in, it had pipes, that you could crawl in to get to other rooms, it was a lablike house, very modern. My family was sitting in a sofa, and i was infront of them, this is where i got Lucid, but it was really strange and it didnt last long.

I also had a dream about collecting money on some beach, and there was other kids there aswell

Ok so I remember becoming lucid and doing a RC and after that I thought of the dream ending I could feel me waking up and I said "crap" then I woke up!

2.5.14 Wednesday

Woke up in the morning around 9:45

Took a nap at 12:50. Took 8mg of GM and 300mgs of Choline just as I was going to lay down.

My cat was sleeping on my chest, so I was having hard time falling asleep. Everytime I exhaled, she batted her ear, because my breath was tickling her. So after an hour at 1:50 I said that's enough, I got up to go potty and also to put the kitty by my feet.

As falling asleep, another cat woke up and jumped up on me, eventhough I was laying on my left side, and he is a huge cat. Had hard time finding comfy spot, so he jumped off in 10 min or so.

Now, I was ready for business. I was disappointed that I didn't feel a thing from GM. But it came fast. I got a huge headrush and woke up in my bedroom. I stood up and on wobly feet I walked to my living room to ask my dad if he can see me. (we live thosands of miles apart). He says yeah, he can see me. I ask ok, but nothing strange? He says well you have two shirts on and it shows on the bottom. I'm like yeah, that's ok (I did have 2 shirts on and they were showing like that IWL).

I said, I think I'm OBE, so I'm making sure I am. I got to the opened window and I say now I'm gonna jump out and I sure hope I really am OBE. I figured I get out the window just a bit and if I dont fall down fast, I'm ok. So I did that and I slowly floated down.

Then I flew up, and to the roof.

Huge headrush again. I see images of guys flying in front of me. Not covering the whole field of view. Just like a postcard in the middle. The are dressed up, like characters from cartoons. The image changes and now they are characters from Star Wars Legos. I figure I try to get there. I say "I am there" and it suckes me in the picture. Now I'm flying alongside these guys in a long, gently curving corridor. Byt the walls are huge plastic bins full of lego pieces. Then I'm flying alone.

Another transition in my bed of my childhood. I hear some mean growls, so I want to speed up the transition to get out of there fast. I'm flying in a corridor. It's getting dark and I'm slowing down. I'm like "ok, you gonna be like that? Then at least give me some sex." And I get it.

Morning of February 5, 2014. Wednesday.



I am walking through a large vineyard with my beautiful wife Zsuzsanna in possibly mid-afternoon. I am uncertain of the location or region. A sense of love dominates the mood.

---

After waking up at 6.30 and stopping my alarm, I went to sleep and had a long lucid. I'm not gonna go into detail, but it was long, and I had a couple of nice experiences with dream stabilizing.

Feb 3-4 2014 (Lucid)

Sky Diving Through the Dream
First Successful WILD woo!
* *I let go of my body and fell through my bed. I just let myself free fall and knew a dreamscape would create itself out of the blackness. As I was falling I recall very loud and potentially scary growls and noises, but I just simply let it happen and wasn't scared. Eventually the dream formed and I was sky diving towards land that appeared far below. It was beautiful too, everything was vibrant. The colors of giant lakes were bright blue, and green rolling hills extended in every direction. I was heading for a small town directly below me.
* *I landed, and decided to explore a bit. There were houses scattered every which way with no rhyme or reason to their planning. The style seemed half modern, have medieval as the houses were primarily different tones of wood. I found attractive girls nearby and I had urges to be with them. Most ignored me until I complemented one, and then held out my hand, and she took it. We walked a bit, eventually I woke up, but I was able to fall back through my bed into a new dream scene.

Scary House and Trying to Get to Space
* *As I was falling, I eventually found myself in a house. It turned out to be a modern brothel, because the girls in there were all scantily clad and I just knew what it was. I found one attractive girl and sexy time with her ensued. (My mind was feelin dirty I suppose, ha)
* *After that is finished up, I decide to tell everyone I'm going to space. So I remember my friend T's advice with using an elevator, so I start looking around for one. I even ask a DC if he can show me one and he looks excited and starts walking somewhere. Eventually he goes in a door that looked ominous and I was scared to go in.
* *As I get scared, things start happening. It gets a bit darker, the door behind me slams shut and I can't open it, and I start hearing creepy noises. I start to panic, but catch myself. I say out loud, "this is a dream, nothing can hurt me or scare me, and I am in control."
* *Immediately it brightens up and I can open the door again. I decide to go outside and think of a new way to get to space. I think, well I know I have trouble flying, so maybe I'll use something I know can fly. How about a broom like in Harry Potter? So I ask a DC for a broom, and he hunts one down in the garage-like room we're in. He grabs a blue looking, rather short, modern "broom" and it's not like the classic ones in Harry Potter.
* *I take it anyway, go outside, and try to use it. I can kind of fly, but it's awkward and reluctant. I'll go forward like 50 feet, then sink back down, or start getting pulled backwards, or other such things. I no longer expect it to work, and it works even less. Eventually I wake up, and couldn't get back into the dream.

School Prizes, Wrong Order at Chipotle, Scheming Marksmen
* *I was at school with T, A, and other friends. There is some big meeting and someone is winning a prize if they can guess something. They have to guess who is the person in a drawing. The drawing is a giant piece of paper that someone was going to draw a person on. I was supposed to pass the paper on to the person, but I decided randomly to start the drawing and put a stick figure on it, and then pass it on.
* *The person (who is going to draw on the paper) eventually gets it, looks at me, and I feel they're mad I ruined it with the stick figure. But they start drawing anyway. Eventually it's finished and they say a big thanks to me for starting the drawing and everyone is clapping. I'm confused because all I did was put a stick figure on it, but just went with it.
* *The person who had to guess who was drawn was now up. And from my perspective it was so obvious that the person who drew the picture had drawn themself, wearing the same clothes, and they were even standing in the same pose, with both arms up like a gymnast finishing a move. But they couldn't guess it and they didn't win the prize and it was really embarassing for them.
* *Soon it would be lunch time and this lady is going through the crowd asking who will be eating there and who is going out. As she asks me, and I say I'm going out, and I also notice she has handed things out to everyone. She says ok and then hands me a piece of cheese with mustard on it. I'm revolted by it so I just chuck it when she's not looking.
* *Heading outside I ask my friends where they're going for lunch and they all reply Chipotle. I say that sounds good and they all get on their bikes and start going. I realize my bike is way back so I run to go get it. It takes a bit, but I grab it then head off and either catch up to A and T or they waited.
* *As we're riding, it's downhill on a street and we are all trying to catch jumps. I'm reminded of the downhill roads you would find in like San Fransicso. There are a lot of small ones we find, and they're fun, but soon there is a giant one I see. Friend A goes off it, but jumps off on the side early. I decide to do the full thing. I get goin as fast as I can and hit the jump that's maybe like 10 feet higher than the ground. The launch I get is incredible. I go probably 100 feet into the air. T and A are amazed. I remember knowing I wouldn't get hurt, because it was a dream or something, but I didn't get lucid.
* *We get to "Chipotle" but it's like an outdoor Native American burrito shop that's run by 3 women. Anyway we order our stuff and then hang out while they make it. T and A get their burritos and then they hand me a quesadilla, and I ask why they didn't give me a burrito like I ordered. The one who took my order is embarrassed and starts making excuses about how long it takes to re-do it, in the hopes I will just take the quesadilla.
* *I say I'll take it for free or if they refund me. They say no, and then one offers a free tortilla with it so I say that's fine. The one who owned the shop like refuses to cooperate and give me a tortilla, and I realize my quesadilla is just like only beef held together with the one tortilla. I throw it down at that point and it goes everywhere and I demand they give me the burrito I payed for.
* *My friends have all left at that point to go back to class and I figured I'll miss class. They start making the burrito again (but now remembering, they never did finish it). Guys showed up at that point who were all bragging about how good a shot they were.
* *For some reason I had a plan, and pulled a gun on one of them, right next to their face. I said sure he might be able to hit anything, but is he fast enough to stop me. Then I set the gun down, and say it was just to show them they're not all that great. The people around me are stunned and the two guys who were showing off are pissed. I tell them to prove they can hit a birdhouse maybe 150 feet away. They say it's easy and one nails it dead on. Then continues to hit hard targets he picks out. I eventually woke up around this time.

Feb 2-3 2014

Zombie Revival Potion (Lucid)
* *I noticed an inconsistency in my room and became lucid. I stabilized and thought about what to do. I debated on either the task of the month and the year, then remembered the zombie revival task and went about for that task. I thought about ways to revive a zombie and realized I can just make a potion and that should work. I went and filled up a potion in a spray bottle from my sink, and the liquid was pink so I figured I was good without any extra ingredients. I headed outside through the front door to look for one but right when I about hit my street, I woke up. I tried DEILDing back in, but it wasn't happening.

Flesh Eating Zombies
* *I had a scary dream about zombie like creatures. But they weren't totally typical. They didn't care about anything other than eating humans. I was with my sister M and then a friend of hers at the house and when I realize there are a bunch outside. I immediately run inside to hide, and they basically give up looking for me the moment I'm out of sight.
* *At one point my older sister E says she'll distract them so we can either escape or figure out a plan, and she just runs for it and they run after her. I'm really distressed about her doing that so I run to my room (going outside first and then through my window) to look for my machete (which I don't really have) in my closet, but have trouble finding it. I see my airsoft guns, but know they won't do much damage. I eventually wake up while looking.

Journal Entry Lucid #7 Dream,Lucid, Comments)
Background: I talked to my parents and asked them if they want me to be happy. They did and I asked them to say they want me to have a LD, they did. So, I had a short LD this night. I guess I value my parents word alot. When my father dreams are pointless my dream recall disappeared and my consecutive LD disappeared. I

Dream fragment 1 from 8:20pm-2:30am"": I was talking to a person about LD, we were waiting in line of a 7/11 or a store like that. Well as I was talking to him a realization came into my head, "I am dreaming". I looked at them and I said,"excuse me but I am dreaming". They didn't react at all. As I was about to walk out, I looked at the line and it was huge. I opened the door and lifted off, "i had a thought of doubt for a split second, but I remembered that I have flew many times in a LD. I went forward the sun is in front of me and so was this huge guy. He was just floating in air. I bumped into him, and he fell. I was going to fly away, but I didn't want to leave him like I left my sister so I went down to help him. He got up and said thank you. Like a loop I found myself inside of the store talking to them. The realization hit me again. I was about to start flying but I got distracted and lost lucidity.

#276 - WILD - 4:42AM

I was from several non lucid dreams feeling frustrated that I failed to WILD. Finally this time I have an actual WILD.

I feel wakeful and it takes a while to get relaxed. At first I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere but I get some strange idea to focus my attention to the top and right several inches away from my head. When I do that the vibrations start right away. (Maybe there is something to this energy thing?) I feel my self quickly float up to the ceiling but before I phase through a hand presses down on my chest pushing me back to bed. I know this is my wife's evil astral twin. I am not afraid, nor pissed. I just try to ignore her. I relax and float up again but she pulls me back down. This time I see her arm. It looks gray and brown with claws for finger nails. Still I have no fear or anger. I ignore her as best I can. This time I will myself up but as I touch the ceiling, I open my physical eyes (I think) and I see that I am lying in bed. I blink, close then, try again, but have the same result. One of the time on the ceiling, I want to roll over to see myself and her but can't move. I try to spin in bed to roll out but feel stuck.

I feel like astral wife is messing with me so I decide to handle it the same way as before. For whatever reason I can roll her direction and I throw myself on her. I project positive feeling as we make out and she responds in delightful ways. I decide that I don't want this to turn into a sex dream so I stop. I conclude that this dream has probably got stable enough and I visualize walking in the living room.

Suddenly we are there walking together holding hands. She pulls me close to kiss but I am anxious to get going. Plus, I am still a little leery of her. Not wanting to treat her badly, I try some nice way to get out of this. I say, "Hey, I have and idea. We should do it outside in the warm sunshine."
She seems excited and says, "Yeah! Let's go!"

I think about being outside and we teleport instantly to the front yard. I have no intentions of following through with this but I point to a spot in the neighbors front yard that is sunny. It seems like late summer and the grass is dry with some brown spots. As I am looking at the spot I have a false memory of having sex with the lady that used to live in this house. I tell myself this is not right and I wonder where this "memory" came from. I shake this disturbing though away and totally forget about Astral Wife.

I wonder into the back yard and come the back door of my house. I pause as I notice this house looks nothing like mine at all. I turn to the alley and see the front of a blue house that doesn't exist in waking life. Suddenly, I remember my goal to paint on a canvass. I think I should go in the house but feel like it would be a bad idea to try to change scenes again. I feel like I would just enter the void and now I have the thought, I probably would if I tried.

I decide to summon what I need on the spot. I notice there is an awning providing a nice shady spot where I am standing as I look around. I decide since I am setting up outside, I should paint what I see. I think the blue house would be fine. It looks like it's in a semi rural location. There is a bush in the front and clothes lines running along the side. I blind summon a canvass on an easel and set it in front of me. At that moment I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


(...) I'm on the road with some guy. He is driving, we're talking. Then we see something orange scattered at even distances, over the line between adjacent lanes. But it's not plastic cones! It's monks in orange robes, meditating! My friend is puzzled and wondering what in the world that can be. I just become lucid with the absurdity and I realize what it is. They know it is safe, they are aware where we are, they chose to sit in the middle of a road because it tests their confidence in the knowing that nothing can harm them. I get it and could join them. But instead I just float around, enjoying the beauty of this awareness. I start touching everything, I touch some statues, the rough walls of buildings, the tree leaves, the hair of people passing by. Everything I touch is simply perfect and overloads my mind with joy.
After a while of this experience, I enter a not so bright zone. The night falls, there is an entrance to a non-lit park and a few homeless guys are sleeping on benches and on the ground, on both sides of the pathway. A couple of them looks at me like saying "hey babe, come here..." and I feel a chill and turn around in fear. Then I think what is the worse thing that can happen, considering it only happens whatever I allow to happen? If they rape me, I just wake up. So, I lose all fear and all I can feel is compassion. Instead of fearing a rape, I feel like offering myself to them as a gesture of my total surrender to the fearlessness. Automatically, I become naked as I walk through the pathway. They just can't believe what they are seeing. They actually are quite gentle to me.

#275 - DILD - 3:09AM]

I dream something about some old biblical stuff. I find a statue of a saint.
I have a strange false awakening standing up. I remember I was trying to WILD and lay my head down on the truck of a car.

The vibrations start and I feel like I am laying in bed. Everything feels like a normal WILD but I am reluctant to be stuck in SP again. This time I go straight to visualizing. I'm still a little confused from the last dream and really want to visit this place that was connected to the statue. I visualize a tree with a small door in it. I recite a Bible verse in my mind, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

The dream transforms me some place different. I am laying on my stomach in the back seat of a car. The dream slowly flickers into view as I am looking at my hand clapping and rubbing. I sit up and see my Dad driving. The front has a bench seat and my son is standing on the other side next to him. My son hits my dad and my dad slaps at him in a weak childish way. Then, they both slap hands at each other. I stop all of it by clapping my hands on my dad's ears as hard as I can several times until he yells at me to stop. I say, "You can't hurt me in my non physical form." I am under the impression that I just had an OBE while traveling and my physical body in still lying in the seat asleep.

I try to see where we are going but I feel really near sighted. I ask, "Where are we? I can't see." My dad just gives some non-answer. See some cars passing us the other way and ask if we are in a town yet. Again he avoids answering me. I'm really confused what we are doing and ask if we are picking up my daughters. I don't remember what he says but it wasn't satisfying. I see that we are parking on the side of some building. When the car stops, I expect it will wake me up.

I have another FA and lose lucidity. I feel the shift of returning to my sleeping body and set up in the car. I feel very tired and can hardly open my eyes. I try to record my dream in my DJ and as I recall I begin to feel very confused about this whole thing. Something just isn't right. Before I can put two and two together my wife rolls over and wakes me up.

So I am not sure why I even got lucid last night. I went to bed around 10pm. I was quite restless and took sleeping stuff but still couldn't sleep. Finally at about 2 I took some more sleeping stuff and fell asleep. At 4 I woke with this.

Supps at 10pm: 1000 mg valerian, 100 mg 5htp, 3mg melatonin
Supps at 2am: 500mg valerian, 3mg melatonin

I was at an intersection in a car. For some reason I just knew I was dreaming and I drove my car into another car. This seemed very real so I did a reality check (hands) LUCID: I pulled away from the car I just hit and drove for a bit. I decided I could do anything I want so I wanted to fly in the car. I hit the nearest bank/hill I could find and took off in the air. I could feel the jerk backwards as the car sped up to flying speed and I was now flying the car. I was controlling the vehicle nicely. The landscape was green and hilly with green trees all around. After flying for a short bit I decided do something else and took the car underground. As I decided this I found a cave opening and flew right into it. Through a cave in the ground. I was looking for a money/rich area not sure how to describe it but I found myself flying around water and in cool caves and then it all became gold and I decided this is where I wanted to surface. This is the point I realized I could do anything so decided to just go straight up through the rock. I pulled up and went through layers of rock. Now this wasn't normal rock, it looked like that game or whatever it is Minecraft, big gold blocks in layers. I don't remember reaching the top but I began to think what I should do next. This is when the dream ended.

I was very confused that I even had a lucid dream since I took so much melatonin and I thought it suppressed REM. I had a good solid lucid dream only 2 hours after a second dose.