memorable

Note: It turned out that some really nasty things happened to Asuka during the time she was with L, she was in serious need of healing. That was my first priority, to go help MoSh with healing Asuka. I figured I would definitely take Basara with me… I had my first goal in mind when I fell asleep, but I was not successful in entering a WILD. I'm not even sure how I became lucid in this dream… it just kind of happened gradually, so gradually that I'm not exactly sure when I became fully lucid…

I was in the front yard of my house, and I noticed it was cloudy. I wanted to go for a walk, and the clouds made it much nicer to walk than when it is fully sunny. I left the house and went to the gate, realized I had forgotten the remote to the gate, so I climbed over it instead of going back into the house to get the remote. I walked down the dirt road and up to the main street where I turned left. I followed the road for a while until I reached the new housing development that has been going in recently. I'd never seen the houses up close, so I turned into the housing area and figured I would take a look around. It was nothing remarkable, all the houses were basically cookie cutter homes that all looked the same. Or mostly the same, there were about three different models repeated over and over and over… Then I went up a hill and found a house that looked different. The first thing that came to mind was MoSh's house in his inner world. But how could I be seeing that here? It looked so much like MoSh's place that I went to the door and knocked. Much to my amazement, MoSh answered.

"Oh, good… you're here," MoSh said as he hurried me into the house and closed the door behind me, "Asuka really needs help… I'm not sure what else to do for her except for try to heal her. The things I'd like to do to that bastard…"

I told MoSh he could do whatever he wanted to L, or I could do it and he could read about it in detail, or we could both do it together and he could read about it in detail… or he could probably get Walms to have some fun with L then read about it when Walms posted his DJ… or… MoSh interrupted me at this point, saying we should focus on Asuka for now, L could be made to pay later. I remembered that Basara would be able to help with healing Asuka so I focused on opening a portal to find Basara, the portal opened and Basara came through as if he had been expecting me. Somewhere in here must be where I became fully lucid, but it was the end of a gradual process so I'm not completely sure when it happened.

Basara and I followed MoSh into the bedroom where Asuka was hiding. And she really was hiding. She was in a corner of the room trying to disappear into the wall, she had her knees pulled up to her chest and her face was hidden as if she thought no one would see her if she couldn't see them. MoSh went over to Asuka and touched her on the shoulder, I noticed a very concerned look on Basara's face. Asuka responded right away to MoSh, she reached for him and immediately put her arms around him as if she was drowning in the ocean and he was her life preserver. Basara didn't need to be told what had to be done, he summoned a guitar and began playing a song that I recognized from the Macross 7 soundtrack, the song entitled Love Will Save Your Heart. I focused on the healing song along with Basara, thought it looked like MoSh was having problems getting to his guitar with Asuka clinging to him as she was… As the song was playing golden energy filled the room, giving everything in the room a golden shine that came just from the energy. When the song ended, there was no pause in the music as Basara moved seamlessly on to My Soul For You from the same soundtrack. Asuka had let go of MoSh by now and was sitting on the bed staring off into space, which meant MoSh could also add to the healing energy in the room. As this song ended, all three of us were contributing to one more song that I recognized from the Macross 7 soundtrack but I don't remember the title of it… the title was probably in Japanese.

There was still healing energy filling the room, although some of it looked now to be blues and whites instead of the usual golden energy, this energy seemed very relaxing, however, and it brought a warm sensation of comfort and safety, of love and caring… I continued focusing on the song Basara was using at the time, he had changed songs again. Asuka was still sitting on the bed, though she seemed to be paying attention to the three of us now as if we were giving her a private concert, which I suppose we were. The blue and white energy was centering in on Asuka and flowing around her in a manner that made it look like she was glowing… she looked more like an angel than anything, though she didn't actually have the wings… The music and the energy were so relaxing I thought I might fall asleep in the middle of the healing process… Basara played through one more song, I also don't remember the name of this one, and then the music stopped. There was still a bright glow about Asuka as the light energy was still surrounding her and flowing through her. I looked closer at her and saw she actually had a small smile on her face. Basara looked at Asuka and smiled himself, he said it looked good. He said he didn't know if that one time would be enough for her to get past what had happened, but he had to say one thing for her, she seems stronger than she looks. Now that the music had stopped Asuka lied down on the bed and fell asleep, though her sleep looked peaceful and relaxed. I told Basara that if she needed more healing, then she would have it. Basara agreed with that before opening a portal and going through it.

MoSh kissed Asuka ash she slept and then left the room, clearly meaning for me to follow him. I followed him into the next room where he had some pictures lying face down on a desk. He picked one of them up and looked at it only briefly before turning it face down on top of the others so that none of them were visible. He said that he needed to make sure Kanmuri knew how important it was to keep L away from Asuka. I opened a portal to get to L's inner world and the two of us went through.

MoSh and I exited the portal in the area of L's inner world where we usually seem to arrive. I wondered if it would be possible to enter at a different location if I needed to for some reason, this was the only place I could remember arriving. For this time, however, that location was just fine. I spotted Kanmuri not too far away from us, she was looking over at the guest house with a strange look on her face as if the building held some kind of unfathomable mystery. She saw us arrive there and said L was in the guest house again, she said she didn't know what he was doing in there, but she didn't think he had anyone in there with him, she was sure he hadn't gone after Asuka again… MoSh said Asuka was safe at home, but there was something he wanted to show Kanmuri. She asked what that was, looking at the pictures in MoSh's hands, which he gave to her.

Kanmuri stared at the first picture as if unable to comprehend exactly what she was seeing, then she looked at the next one and the third one before dropping the pictures on the ground. She had a look of total shock on her face, seemed unable to find any words appropriate for the situation. She said she never thought that would happen… she admitted she hadn't known L for long, but that was just so… so… and again words seemed to fail her. MoSh said that the things that had happened in those pictures showed clearly why Kanmuri has to make absolutely certain L doesn't get anywhere near Asuka again. Kanmuri stared at MoSh in stunned disbelief, again she didn't seem to know what to say, but that didn't last long…

"You don't actually expect me to stay here with that… that monster, do you?" she asked incredulously, "I've stayed here until now, and I was going to try to make sure he didn't go off and kidnap Asuka again, but that was before I knew he was a total psychopath! I'm out of here!"

"Then who is going to keep L away from Asuka if you don't stay?" MoSh asked.

Kanmuri was silent for a bit again, then she got mad, "So you expect me to stay here no matter what might happen?" she yelled right in MoSh's face, "So it's completely ok with you if I get tortured and gang raped and maybe even killed as long as your precious Asuka is safe? Well, guess what? I'm not going to stay around here as an outlet for that bastard's twisted fantasies! That was the only deal breaker, I don't care if he's a jerk, I don't care that he apparently hasn't even got the capacity to care about anyone, but I will not stay here and be abused!"

"You were supposed to keep L from hurting Asuka!" MoSh said, apparently getting upset himself, "You said you would do this, so you can't go and leave now!"

Kanmuri was so pissed off she was momentarily unable to speak, it also looked like she might cry, from rage? Sadness? It was more rage that she was expressing. "You are… you are…" Kanmuri finally found her voice, though she didn't seem to know what words to use, "You are such an ASSHOLE! If those things had happened to me, it wouldn't matter to you at all, would it? Well it's not happening!" She did something and then dropped a nasty expletive. She was muttering something about not even being able to open a fucking portal to get out of this hell hole. I asked where she was looking to go, I figured it wouldn't do any good to try to keep her here against her will. She said she wanted to go somewhere that she wouldn't be gang raped by a bunch of mindless drones and the king of all assholes… um… my inner world qualified for that… so I opened a portal to my inner world. MoSh told Kanmuri she couldn't just leave, she flipped him the bird and said watch her, she was already gone. She went through the portal to my inner world, and about the same time I woke.

I'm sitting in the back of a cab between Elaine and Kramer. I wonder, "Where is Jerry?".

What? Seinfeld is a show. How could I be in a cab with "Elaine" and "Kramer". I decide to check my hands. This was a gut reaction, there was no reasoning. It just seemed that's what I should do. My hands are really distorted. My left hand has only a few long fingers. My right hand is missing the ring finger from the middle knuckle up. My thumb are normal. Immediately, I realize I am dreaming. These are not what my hands are supposed to look like. Cool. I can even realize that I have been trying to LD. I know the steps I have taken, and that it is intentional. I am fully aware of what I want to do. I do NOT know what time it is, nor if it is light out or not.

I notice that no one is speaking. They aren't frozen or anything, they just aren't talking. I notice there is no cab driver. The cab isn't even moving. I get into the driver's seat of the cab. No steering wheel. I think, "I can just make one, this is my dream". I try to conjure a steering wheel. No luck. I demand a steering wheel. Nope. I decide not to waste my dream time and climb out of the window of the cab (why not just open the door?).

Now I begin to wake up. I immediately recognized this, and looked up and started spinning. It looked like when you play a first person video game, point your view up, and then just rotate using one stick. No dizziness at all. Now, I am stabilized and back in the dream.

Now I am in the breezeway of an apartment complex. It is dark. I start running. I am not frightened, but deeper in the dream, and a little less lucid. I conjure a pool and jump in. No shock of hitting the water. I am underwater, and decide to try to breathe. I am now more lucid. I plug my nose and cover my mouth with my hands....and....breathe in. It works! I'm elated! I can do it. I move myself out of the water.

I am running. No one is around, and suddenly I come upon a beautiful slim short brown haired women. She is about 35 or so. I think, I'm in a dream, I can do whatever I want, and this is a really nice looking woman. I immediately rip off her top. I can clearly see her breasts, and can only focus on those. I touch them. I put my face to them, they feel wonderful, then snap to....

I am running through the streets of my youth, but the colors are much more beautiful. Not more vivid, just more of them. I decide to fly. All I can do is jump. What is going on? This is my dream, FLY dammit! At one point, I leave the ground for about 10 feet or so for a second or two. No luck from that point on.

I keep running. I'm thinking how cool this is. I check my hands again, and my finger are really long. Yep, I'm still dreaming. I climb up on some big stones and jump off of them. It doesn't hurt. I try other high (not very high, no more than 8 feet, don't know why) and jump. No pain, or even feeling.

I'm running again. I still know I'm dreaming, but a little less lucid. I'm not breathing hard, my muscles don't ache, I am not tired. I could run like this forever. The grass is slightly rainbow colored. The sky is a beautiful blue at the top, but it is either sunset or sunrise. It is fantastic. I am running towards it. I am overcome with joy. I cannot help but cry at how happy I am...

I awake. I am not crying, not particularly joyful, just kind of normal. I am totally excited though. I induced my first LD!



(sequencing unknown, this is recall)
I am in a gun store store. I have bought a very large gun (.50 cal). I paid $699 for it. I am worried that I do not have enough money in my account to cover all my expenses, so I need to return it. Don't know why I even bought it. I has three barrels instead of just one. I have a reciept for it. I am relieved when I see that I only paid $99 for it. I am going to return it anyway. I look closely at the receipt. I can see clearly the numbers. On the right side of each item besides the gun is a very detailed color hologram of my parents in a picture pose. I know instinctively that this is a security measure.....

Conditions:
1200 mg of Omega03&6 Fish Oil (JBB)
1000 mg Vitamin B6 (JBB)
20 ounces of Apple Juice (BB)
Checked hands during the day (DD)
Read some philosphy and LD (DD)
Binaural Beats: Base: 95hz, Beat: cycled from 2 hz to 7hz to try to mimic a typical dream cycle; Pink Noise; Volume Med for both. Can audibly hear beats. Removed after 2 hours (annoying me)

Fell asleep: 2:30am
WBTB: 8:00am
LD: 9:30am complete

---------------------

JBB=Just before bed after 9pm
AB= At bedtime 11:30pm
BB=Before Bedtime after 5pm
DD=During the day between wake and 5pm

I had many dreams last night, many dreams which I realize kind of all faded and looped into each other. So it was more like one long and changing dream, fading in and out of states of awareness. (which made it seem like separate dreams.) The past two nights though I distinctly remember telling myself I knew I was dreaming and became aware of my intention for several years now to lucid dream but then I became more lucid in my body and I assume I lost dream control or awareness.

Fragment: Lorenz was here with me and we were traveling downtown. I think I actually met her downtown. She was very nervous about something, and part of the time spent at this large school type environment although it was built and looked much different than mine or any real one in my dream. It was more castle like and large, like a private school or collage, with terraces and fancy architecture, etc. The coast of Lake Michigan was right next to the left or right side depending, how you looked at it, of the school. Again, Lorenz acted much more nervous than she did in reality or that I could ever remember her acting. There was some performance and many people watching and I remember I had to perform too. There was much more imagery but it all isn’t coming back to me. Anyways, there was a lot of anticipation, not all bad, in it.
I also feel like a cafeteria was also a part of this dream. Sometimes, I dream of cafeteria’s and having to order food or serve food or sit and eat in one. etc, etc

I’ve had similar dreams with swimming, and swim meets, although I was never a swimmer in my life. I have had dreams of swimming in large pools or having to swim and race in dark, and dangerous, scary oceans. I feel like this performing or anticipation greatly relates to the above little scene in my dream.

And then later on I ran into Sherry. Sherry was wearing a dress that was much different but kind of like what I was wearing and she criticized me for this, asking how I could wear it and why, assuming that I knew what she would plan to wear. She was kind of cold and distant, but for some reason I gave her a ride home anyways. She was mean actually, and had kind of become mean to me in real life. As has everyone actually.
This was actually supposed to be my high school however it was on the North Side, probably because of the times I have went up to visit and hang with Fela or go to a party. I was talking to Sherry and a boy I somehow knew.

Fragment: I was a kid and I was playing with a group of other kids. We were roller blading in this hilly environment. There were many pathways and as we were roller blading the sidewalk curved and made sharp turns or was blocked by buildings or other things you can imagine would block a child’s path while rollerblading, like grass. Then, we we skating and trying to hide from somebody. I think there were cops or parents or people looking for us with lights so we were trying to escape them. I think there were vague characters I could remember and sense as people from my life but couldn’t pin point anyone by face or name. All just vague representations I knew were representations of people but what people, I cannot say. We were having fun.

Fragment: It began that we were on a ship and it was speeding so fast I was so scared. I was so scared because I thought something bad would happen and to be in open water like that scared the shit out of me. Mom was with me for this part and she was comforting and assuring and made me feel safe. There might have been someone who reminded me a lot of a teacher I once had named (?) and he taught Math and Guitar. There was some sort of talent show while we were still on the ship and I thought it was really stupid and felt uncomfortable especially watching this fashion show that several girls put on. 6 of them fell or something. I remember that there was 6 of them that fell down. Some were black. After that, I guess we must have landed and everyone started walking towards wherever we were going in a large group, lots and lots of people were here together. Some of us knew each other. I stayed by my dad and I felt very protective of him here. I worried about him and wanted to save him as suddenly there were intense rain clouds but it seemed like it was going to be really bad weather. Like very dangerous weather. This dream was like the earlier one in that there was still a lot of rushing and I was running again as fast as I could but it wasn’t fast enough like always. Dad was running with me too. (This image and awareness of me running has occurred a lot in the past few nights in my dreams.) I have sometimes been jogging outside in my waking life and have had similar attitudes toward my performance. I am pumping my arms to and pushing my legs to try to go as fast as I can and I worry why I can’t go as fast as others my age or older or even younger. Again, there were some males I could vaguely understand and remember as representations but their identities did not come into awareness in the dream. Although, I could see one boy who looked and reminded me a lot of Mike Tr. at one point. We knew where we were going but I can’t remember or didn’t know so much that I could name or describe it for you, only that I could see it wasn’t that far away. It was walkable distance, which is why the ship docked at a pier not far away or something. There was water we had to cross, and there was quite a bit of walking imagery. I remember wanting to go back because although we were trying to get to shelter, I worried that if something bad happened we would need to get back to the ship and flee. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to my dad but everyone else seemed to chilled out and relaxed in spite of the weather. I think that the place we were going to might have become the animal welfare from the next dream. Next dream...

(I felt like this part of my dream had lots of parts that were really like a second school I attended in LaGrange with many problem kids.)

Last Dream Fragment: Then, all of a sudden, I dreamt I was at the local Animal Welfare where I volunteer. And my friend Ashley was there. That was where we were walking to. There were many rooms and confusing pathways, just like our welfare league.
I think I saw Lorenz there again, but I know for certain I saw Ashley there.
A woman who reminded me of the young, blonde character on Grey’s Anatomy which I think I dreamt of only because it was a hospital type setting. Towards the very end, these two grown women who held some sort of authority at the hospital and were in charge of some higher up type stuff sat in a room and talked to Ashley and I. They appeared very nice in the room and pleasant and polite, however afterwards I overheard them making rude comments about Ashley and I. Especially something about Ashley’s resume and this welfare had a very strong resemblance to representing a hospital I once spent some time at. One of the women said something like but not quite exactly, “ How can we (or), Who will hire her? Look at her resume, she spent a lot of time at our own school here in the corner.” And I didn’t hear them say here in the corner but in the imagery I saw a corner which was the school just like the building in Lemont which served as a school. I was angry at them for feeling like she and I were being made fun of and really felt the urge to stick up for her. Ashley gave me a book which said something about best friends. I felt stuck in this place. It was busy and hectic as always. The same nurse who looked like (First Name-Kathryn?) Hiegel ? maybe her name, from Grey’s Anatomy, diagnosed me with something out of nowhere. Something she said came from a friend she said she saw visit me with a beard. I think it made me feel bad and worry. It had a name.

To end; in regular day to day life, I've been having much luck at least in reality checks due to the fact that I have been sometime convinced I am actually in a lucid dream in reality but I don't want to be actually convinced of that of course. I have thought sometimes that my dreams and my waking up from my night have actually been a string of false awakenings. I'm not sure if this will help me achieve a lucid dream or not, for I am trying to just keep it as a possibility and question it, but not believe it.

Well, last night I had four dreams which I remember. However, only in one (the last one) can I remember what happened and what it felt like. It's all non-lucid, but I got pretty close.

Background knowledge: around once a year, I go to America with my brother ('J') to see some family members - my grandfather (from now on 'G'), and my cousins (only one is in the dream - 'E')

I had just arrived in America with my little brother (although my mum wasn't with us), and saw E. She looked nothing like she does in real life, however. If that wasn't strange enough, the airport which we had just arrived at (in America) was my school - in England. We walked outside and entered a strange building made from orange steel cylindrical bars, so each room looked like a prison cell. There was very little light. J commented that my school had a strange repair facility (?). We then walked past a cell, in which was imprisoned a young, blond member of my school (whom I did not recognise). We then left the strange building.

We were back in natural sunlight. I have no memory of seeing J after that.

E and I walked into a car park. We entered a large black car. She went in the passenger seat, and I went into the back.

At this point, I attempted my first in-dream Reality Check. I bite my arm and feel nothing. I also hold my nose, and continue breathing. Just as I am about to conclude that this is a dream and become lucid, the driver (G) turns around, revealing himself to be a character with a face not unlike the clown from Stephen King's 'It'. This surprised me enough to wake me up.

Waking up so close to lucidity was a massive disappointed, but at least there's always tonight.

[Dream in blue.]
[Lucid in red.]
[Nightmare in pink.]
[Non-dream in normal.]



I'm going to start making more of an effort, I swear. Although, I've had around 4 lucids lately. Forgotten them now, but ah, well. I had a stressful few weeks.

The last dream I recall clearly was one I had a few days ago. I was a mom, with a daughter of 6 or 7 months. I was fiercely protective of her, although, she had no name that I recall (Lennie? Maybe??). I had to keep changing her, but I didn't mind.

Her diapers were made of Lavitera leaves - a plant I'm allergic to - but even that didn't stop me.

I left her with Joy, our neighbour, briefly, and rushed to her side when I got back.

I was so attached and when I woke up I almost cried. Spent the next two days longing to be a mother.

I'm 17. Wtf!

I sat in the back seat to the right. My mom sat on the left side and my dad probably at the driver's seat to the left. It was pretty dark outside. My brother was in the car too I think. We stopped next to a girl/woman which was a mess. I opened my door and asked her if she needed help. She didn't respond. I noticed her hands were tied behind her back with some cheap wire. She was a mess. Then a crazy man ran to us and I figured she had been raped and had fled. The man was bald and totally nuts. He looked kind of like a Nazi and he had a knife or some weapon. I think my brother and dad ran out to distract him. They ran in a circle behind the car.
I acted. My mom didn't do a thing. I climbed over her and then jumped into the driver's seat. I managed to get the car going. I drove left and turned so I faced the mad man. He ran towards me. I drove forward and he bounced up on the windshield and landed on the roof.

The next dream was set at the same place. Will and I were going to take a bus (I've been at his place on "Öland" for a week and we took the bus.) but we realized that very late. There was a big stair like in Rocky when he trains and then the bus was between two small hills with trees on. We saw the bus and Will said like "Isn't that our bus?" and I was like "Yeah, shit!" and we ran. I did something with my feet so I could "slide" down the stairs and then I gained a lot of momentum so I "flew" over a big table down the stairs and then I had to turn right to the bus. Will made it there before me so we were safe.

I also had a cool first person CS game with some friends. It wasn't really CS but it was awesome. They were much more experienced than me. I did something awesome though. I balanced a thing which was going to crush you in the beginning (hard to explain) and ran with that thing. Like walking with a ladder. I looked like a transformer. Well a lot of pretty cool and strange fighting scenes. I had a cool knifing fight.
I told one of the guys earlier that I had dreamed about him and that he had been awesome in the dream (not sex). I had that dream a couple of days earlier and he had sat in a corner of a aircraft and shot like 6 people in the head with a pistol. Then I told him that in this dream...
Later in the CS dream I was going to remake the game but I was too noobish. Another game started. It was Diablo related. It told a story and it was really lame but still cool that I created it (It was pictures with speech). It was a little boy and his father talking. The father told the little boy that he could play high up in a tree or something. The boy said that mom didn't want him to play up there. The father told him it would be their secret. The boy smiled and climbed up. Then in the next picture he was all like he had been dead for 20 years(zombie) and was hanging by the throat between two branches. His mom and dad were the same and his mother became demon like and had claws. She raged and and turned the father into a beast. A werewolf. That's how the werewolves lore played out in my mind.

I dreamed that we had gone to visit some family friends. It was a small house, and a small family that lived in it. They were a middle aged, married couple with two kids, a son, about 12, and a daughter, who was about 10. We took an elevator to their apartment. I was with my family. We were all pretty excited, for some reason, talking quite lively and not a hint of horror or pain.
As the elevator started climbing, I saw the door through which we had entered the little enclosed box below, and was replaced by a concrete wall. On each floor, there was a separate door to get out of the elevator. But between the floors, there was nothing to see but solid concrete. Our acquaintances' house was on floor 13. Yes. Floor Number 13, the unlucky one. I didn't find that the least significant, however. I remember, on the wall between the 12th and the 13th floors, I saw a dried out, but still distinguishable red liquid, that ran either down from up, or up from down on the the wall between the two floors. It was technically a vertical, horribly noticeable column of red liquid that ran the entire length of the wall. I found that odd, but didn't ponder upon it too much. The electronic display on the top of the elevator displayed 13, and we slowed down to a halt. The elevators door creaked open, by itself. I didn't find that odd, either, disregarding it as modern technology. There was only one apartment on this floor. I could see a door made of brown, polished wood, with golden handles. There was a little golden plate on the top portion of the door, which marked the number of the apartment. Guess which? You got it right, Apartment 13.
I suddenly became aware of an unpleasant feeling. It was the oddest thing I had ever felt. It was as if the temperature had suddenly dropped to zero. As if by stomach was fighting to digest something particularly nasty. I felt weird. That was not all. I could also sense someone, or perhaps something, standing right behind me. Only, I couldn't see, hear, or feel it. But I was pretty sure that there WAS something, something more sinister than bad luck, that resided on this floor.
My family was still blissfully unaware of the situation we were in. They didn't detect the slightest bit of change, nothing. They just talked merrily, each absorbed in his or her own discussion. I rang the bell, hoping that it would be better if we came inside. We could hear someone's hasty footsteps inside, and then a more heavy set of feet coming towards the door. As I waited in apprehension, the sound got louder. Finally, I heard a soft click, and saw the handle turn.
I saw a middle aged man, dressed in a white shirt, faded blue jeans, black, highly polished boots, and red sweater. It was the middle of July. How THE hell can this man wear a sweater in such hot weather? Then again, it was not at all impossible given the chilly atmosphere around me. He was wearing a ring on his hand, a black diamond set in platinum. I could sense nothing weird, or nothing evil about this man. He looked, and felt normal.
He greeted us warmly, shaking hands with each of us. He then invited us to the living room, where a cozy fire was burning. Definitely odd. We all took seats around the room. I was sitting in a red, plush sofa. It was the softest thing I had ever sat on. Whoever this guy was, he sure was well-to-do. A few moments later, his wife, also middle-aged, came inside. She was wearing a black cocktail dress, with a beautiful red rose embedded on the top left of the dress, right above her bosom. She looked incredibly beautiful, far less than her age. She greeted us all warmly too, and sat down beside me. I found it extremely uncomfortable, even though I had no idea who this peculiar family was, or how we came to know them. The ladies started generally talking about well, ladies stuff, and the men started on about politics and work.
I was a little left out. The mother felt that, perhaps, for she called her two children to take me to their room and 'familiarize with me'. Only the brother came out. He was tall for his age, well built, and with a face that would be exquisitely handsome in a few years. He greeted me respectably, and then asked me to come to his room. I accepted the offer, having nothing better to do.
He led me through a small corridor. Towards the right, there was a door. It was all black, an odd choice for a kid's room. He opened the door, and led me inside.
As soon as I crossed the border of the the room, each and every nerve in my body screamed in protest. NO!, my instincts shouted. You have to get out of here, fast! Can't you feel it? This sense, this presence. Just get out of here. As soon as possible. Yes, my subconscious was probably right. I should have run like hell when I had the chance. But that would be rude, and bad manners was something neither me, nor my family could tolerate. Disregarding it all, again, as aftereffects of the horror movie I had watched last night, (I did remember the name of the movie in the dream, though, but forgot it upon wakening.) I gritted my teeth and moved inside.
The room was even more chilly than the rest of the house. I looked out of the tiny window on the wall opposite to the door, and was that it was raining. Yes, raining, in the middle of July, and in the middle of a desert. I didn't find that weird, too. (Props to my reality checking. -_-) The next thing I remember, I was playing a first person shooter game with the brother, whose name was, ironically, Max.



After a while, another person came in. It was the daughter. She looked exactly like the girl in the Silent Hill movie. Quiet, and threatening in a, well, quiet manner. There was something weird about that girl. She held out her hand for me to shake. I was a little hesitant, but I told my instincts to either nut up or shut up.
I shook her hand. It was as cold as ice, or colder. It was, rather, as cold as death. She was very pale, as if she hadn't seen daylight in years. She gives me a stare, a calculating stare. Rather annoyed, I go back to the game. Now, she is INSIDE the game! Wtf?
Big letters come up on the screen. 'Kill or be killed.' I get scared, and start shooting that girl. She avoids each and every one of my bullets. Max looks really worried. 'Now you've done it.', he says, and runs out of the room. I follow him. He screams out the whole story to his parents, who jump up in panic. I learnt that the daughter was haunted, and attacked people who offended her, sometimes killing them. The only way to get her to stop was to kill her within the game.
So we all go inside the game, where there is a forest. It was pitch black. The girl is flying at us out of thin air, scaring us to bits. We find shelter in a little room. There are heavy weapons and heavy armor inside.



Jackpot. I put on a futuristic black armor and take a sniper, and head out with a pistol in the other hand.



As soon as I open the door, I wake up.

Hey, I've been spinning in my dreams a lot. For example, i was on my way to sleeping and I found myself spinning and then going down a hole with all kinds of things and beings. I've noticed the more relaxed I get the faster I go... and as I surrender it feels really good, almost like flying. I sometimes spin upside down, like a top... again, as I relax, I spin faster. Does anyone know what this means? Is it common?

(NOTE: If you wish to view my old Dream Journal, go to " Grandfathered Dream Journals" until you see "D.F.'s Dream Journal" and click on it.)

This week has been crazy, and I'm just starting on this new way to write in a Dream Journal. And yet this situation I'm having has never happened before. Oh, and there's a new date when vivid dreams hit besides January 15. It's on May 2, and I don't even know how that got there.

Even more bad news: the "Amanda" dreams I talked about in my old dream journal did not start in 1994 or 1995. It was actually started in 1992 (or 1993) when I had moved to Maryland at the age of six, after eating seafood (no, not fish sticks, that was eight years later), and viewed this toy commercial. And you know what's worse? It was a product for girls! Naming the mysterious character Amanda, however, did surface around 1994 or 1995.

Back to the situation: it seems a "hot spot" for me to have these vivid dreams is around the week of July 25 (James Lafferty's birthday). Now I fear I'll get one of those dreams this Sunday just like the one on May 2 that makes me feel cautious the next day.

However, last night, after a not-so-good night (bad thoughts of Shane McMahon (haven't I been here before?) after watching an episode of CSI where a murder was linked to a drag race; bad thoughts of Kristin Cavallari after seeing girls dominate game show episodes (Jeopardy!, Wipeout--again, I ask: haven't I been here before?), etc.), I thought it would be a long night w/trouble sleeping (sorry if I used the "w/" thing...)...but it turned out to be something I wish could've happened. I look under my desk in my room to find Tekken 2 remade for the PS3, with its own custom case. That's all I remember as I wake up the next day (today) with a headache. That's also the first time I've had a PS3-related dream. If only that were a reality...

I look forward to this new technology when the next dream (vividly intense or whatever) comes. Until next time, WM86

It all starts with me chilling in NY house. My mom is there, and she informs me that Aunt S is coming and that we shall go to the theme park and eat out. I find this a little strange, since it's really late at night. Aunt S comes and we talk for a bit. She comments on how skinny Amber has become, and how she doesn't really eat much nowadays. I'm like, well she was always pretty skinny anyway. Then Aunt S says that she's going to get married soon and lists a couple of different ceremonies that shall take place in the near future. I'm surprised once again, but I figure maybe she's met some guy at med school. It is the only explanation, because I know Amber well (or at least know enough to know that she would never allow being commanded around). I go upstairs to put on makeup, only I don't put on much at all and opt instead to put on contacts. I'm surprised because they go in without much trouble. My hair is a mess and I'm trying to fix it to no avail. This goes on for a bit (what a waste of dream time). Aunt S comes up to the room and we converse. She asks me whether I get bored to death in VA. I respond with an honest answer for the first time, telling her I don't get bored. I explain to her that I keep busy with work, books, internet, et cetera. Although. "It does get bland after a bit. Especially when compared to NY." She nods sympathetically. We're both gazing out of the window, apparently waiting for my dad to come. I pull the curtains completely to the side and notice something strange. The sky outside is the color that the sky hits right before dawn. It's lighting up rapidly. I find this strange, because it certainly isn't time for that yet. Aunt S agrees, and we both wonder why the sky is this color. Finally, I see my dad arriving along with Rana. There has obviously been a problem, and they seem to be coming into my neighbor's house instead of ours. I go outside and ask him what the issue is. He said they met some criminals and one of them shot Rana. I am so glad that my dad's okay/ They do have the food though, I guess. At some point amidst all this the scene transitions to the theme park. My mom and I go to this kiddie ride, only it is not really. My mom leaves at some point but I stay. It's like one of those rides with swings that rides round about. Only the swings are ridiculously long and it's like we're swinging about the empire state building. The feeling is amazing and I stay on for a few rides, feeling fear but thrill. It is morning here, strange. Scene transitions back to .. some place. It is meant to be the same but it's not.

Now it's totally dark - night. I'm standing outside an unfamiliar row of houses. One of them is supposed to be my NY house, apparently. My parents have just told me to stroll by this other house that is my brother's to check on them or something. When I walk into the night, I feel fear again. There is definitely something lurking in the dark. I try not to pay attention as I navigate the streets to get into the house. It's a huge house, and from behind (which is the view I have), I see it's shaped like a building. The back is completely glass and reveals a large set of stairs. I enter them. They are like the kind of stairs that if one looks down from any given level, they can see the whole floor + stairs down below. Everything is exposed from the top. (It's a combination of floor and stairs, so it's not really a set of staircases) The stairs are dark except for moonlight coming in through glass walls. I walk up to our floor, and head into a well-lit hallway design like the stairs except with walls now. There are doors everywhere, and I walk into ours. My brothers are eating, acting like usual pigs, and I see that the penthouse is huge. It's also a huge mess, which comes as no surprise. I leave after a bit of small talk, entering the hallway.



^ Like this, only totally dark and more glass less wall. Also it's bigger.

Now this is "supposed" to be our VA house, ad I find it weird that I've never been to these staircases before. Each door in the hallway leads into a room, and I wonder which would lead into my room. As I stand there, a large group of construction workers start arriving. They are going into one of our rooms for construction work it seems, and in the group of workers I see old classmates (the only one I remember right now being Taylor). They are happy, conversing, and I patiently wait for them to subside so I can continue my business. It's shocking how many of them just pile in, and I'm standing at the edge of the hallway through which they come in,s o I can only see them coming close up (in other words can't see the whole group). Finally, they leave. Now I go into the stairs. I don't feel that much fear anymore because there are so many loud, boisterous people around. I pin myself to the wall out in the stairs, and I see that there is an old couple in the penthouse next to ours. Taylor asks me to wish them happy anniversary or something, and it looks like all the workers have brought food and other party ingredients. I do so and a party begins. It' not the couple's anniversary party however, it's just some party consisting of the whole neighborhood. Before I know it, people start piling in to the stairs/floors. I watch as they do, the stairs are now slightly illuminated with the light from the actual floors.

And then I see this guy. It's (dream) love at first sight. He's standing on the other side of the floor, tall and wearing this shirt that says "Ten Commandments." He resembles Martinez, although in the dream he is just a guy from the neighborhood. I'm pretty much entranced as I gaze upon him. Everything else goes silent.



For a while I just hang out in the stairs. I know, instinctively, that something evil is still lurking. I also know that were something to happen, such as an attack, it'd be completely up to me to defend the people. So I patrol the halls, trying to look casual and succeeding. So this guy has a little brother, an infant really. He's playing catch with him with a baseball. I watch them from the side, and I'm surprised to see that the little infant ventures off the staircase into the empty ground in the middle (where one can look down and see everything), I wonder a) how this is possible and b) why the infant wasn't scared. I am reminded of this psych experiment I once read about having to do with how well infants could detect depth. The younger ones usually couldn't. But then I see this sorceress next to Martinez who has apparently lifted the floor so he can practice ball. I get a little disappointed, thinking about how I could have done him that favor. At this point I know that I have a lot of power, although I have no plans to use it nor do I know how. Finally, at some point, I do end up exchanging some form of small talk with Martinez and I know that he has mutual interest in me. But i don't think it's love at first sight for him. (hehe) While this is happening I think about how this would be an awesome location for a college party. So now the danger begins. Somehow, its is daytime. What I have feared happens. I hear explosions going on outside the building. The glass wall is suddenly gone, though not out of explosion. One can climb right out into the building's ledge. I quickly exit, positioning myself at the ledge, above a gargoyle. The world outside is completely different. The sun streams into the earth, and the whole landscape is huge. It's like we are smack in the middle of a city clearing with building and such surrounding us. It's pandemonium. People are battling and getting slayed, and the battle participators seem to be hovering slightly above the ground. The enemy has a leader, a guy who looks to be in his 40's with black hair and a pale-ish tan complexion. He looks Turkish. I panic, because I have no idea what to do. My human powers mean nothing against him who seems to be exercising magic easily. I become lucid. I realize I can just fly up into the air. I do so, flying immediately above everyone. It is an amazing feeling, as always. The villain has a cronie, a monster-esque creature killing everyone in its sight. I approach this creature and use a spell to kill it. It immediately fades. The Turk gets attention of this, and he's angry but laughing. I guess he's surprised that I did it, but he approaches me and tells me he's glad to see me here. he was expecting me to come, it seems. I'm afraid for my life. the battle's still going on in full fury. I glance quickly back to my house-building and Martinez is still there. Mostly, I am afraid I won't get to pursue things with him.

I fly to a broken glass window, and the villain stalks me. I try to use magic on him, but it doesn't work. He has another monster-cronie with him now. We're floating right next to my house. People/creatures have stopped fighting and are staring at us. I'm dodging whatever the villain attacks me with, until one last moment. I spot my dad, And of course I'm distracted because I don't want anything to happen to my dad. The villain takes out a gun, along with the creature, and shoots. It misses me, but it doesn't even matter. The presence of the gun alone is enough to announce my death. I am some kind of creature who dies instantly when a gun is upon her. So I know I'm dying. It's sad, really. I float over to my dad. I explain to all the people that my death will be finalized when the sun turns me into a "wisp." A wisp of a golden feather. It's like I'm reading of a chronicle. My dad engages in a weird duel with the villain, in plea for my life. I don't remember the details unfortunately, but it was complex and interesting. I tried helping him too (even though I was dying I wasn't weak or anything since nothing had physically hit me. I was just waiting to turn into a wisp of a feather..) My dad loses, and he reassures me that everything will be okay because I'm "going to heaven." I laugh a bit, and tell everyone (everyone in the city has stopped doing whatever to watch me, flying in the sky, die) "But I don't believe in god." I want to live so badly, and I stare into the sun and think, "If I am suddenly brought back to life instead of dying, I'll believe in god." Then I think, finally on the other end I'll see what really happens and whether god exists/after-life exists. In any case, I start giving out my death messages as I fly over everyone. Some to do with my parents, but I remember only one clearly, which was for Martinez of course (yes, dream love is powerful). I figure I might as well declare my love for him as it doesn't matter anymore, so still flying like a bird, I say, "And to the guy wearing the Ten Commandments shirt, who I've fallen in love with, even though I completely disagree with some of the commandments.." It was meant to be a slight joke because i was getting really emotional, and everyone laughed a bit. And when I looked back I saw him staring back at me, smiling an amazing smile, and that's when I knew feelings were mutual. I stared into the sun again. It was very powerful and vivid.



Finally, my physical body dissipated and I was watching only in spirit I guess (ha ha). I looked to see a small wisp of a feather floating where I had been. And just like that, my spirit was flying right into the sky.



But something weird happens. I float into a land, a desert land populated with thousands of warriors. I am approached by one of the warrior leaders, and he says, "We've been expecting you." I know, that these warriors have been training here for years (and for some reason this is China or Japan maybe because most of the soldiers are Japanese). I'm surprised, and the guy (who had been my friend in the real world I realize,but had "died") says, "Well, we weren't going to leave the evil on our world that easily, were we." So I'm like the real leader of all warriors and I feel this immense sense of adventure. We are not really dead, we just had to leave Earth when exposed to "violence" (the gun I assume). I fly over the desert land and marvel at how many warriors we have, who have all "died" only not really. I talk to my acquaintance, and we both discuss the pain associated with our perceived deaths on Earth. He goes into his own death, saying he had died centuries before when they used to train creatures like us for fighting. He said he had actually died when faced with a villain his first time. There's a flashback to the super-swings I was on earlier - they had been his death site. I feel for him and explain to him that I knew nothing about my uh race (?) or the powers within. I do tell him that I managed to kill a monster. I am excited that we'll soon be able to return to Earth and unleash our fury, not only because I want to save the earth from the villain and namely my parents, but especially because I want to meet Martinez and pursue our love.

Alas. I am jutted into consciousness and it's a huge freaking shame because I wanted to finish the epic adventure.

* I had to leave out a lot some stuff that wasn't too important because this was getting too long.

After I woke up from that dream I fell back into a continuation of it. This time I faded into the black and white dream and stayed there . The dream pretty much left me at the climax of the frag right where Lil Wayne was supposedly going to shoot me. I propped my head back up to face the gun again Weezy took a huge hit from his cigar and blew it in my face. My vision got distorted for a few seconds but went back to normal right before he cocked back his gun. He kept mumbling things I just couldnt understand so I just close my eyes and waited for the big finished. He pulled the trigger and a little white flag came out and so did some black and white confetti. I was scared half to death and I jolted up from the couch I was sitting on (more than likely the flag had the word BANG! on it but I couldnt really make it out cause I was zoned out -_-.) He started laughing hysterically so I punched him and he stepped back but he was still laughing. I turned around to lay back down because I felt really tired and I saw myself still laying on the couch with my head bobbed back. It was so crazy like the copy did all the things I did right up to where I closed my eyes in anticipation for the gunshot. I was so weirded out I woke up again and stayed up.

I'm serving drinks in this cool futuristic looking bar when some guy comes up to me and ask me for a drink. He wanted to have a number of drinks in it and I told him that I dont serve the drink like that. He told me to go fuck off and some smokin hot lady told him to chill out and go drink some water he asked for a glass and I gave it to him. He lifted it up in the air and then put it back down and said thanks for the water. I took the glass looked inside of it and there wasnt a spot of water in it at all (it was kind of weird ) The lady then looked to me and told me to fix her a highball she wanted to be nice and tight so she said make it a double. I pulled a glass from the cabinet and twirled it around my fingers I put it on the table and the table lit up to match the drink I was pouring. The drink was red with white swirls in it( it looked pretty good) I slid it to her and she said nice moves. I told its what I do and she drank the whole thing in a matter of seconds. I took it back twirled it around my fingers and took the bottle and spun it in my other hand. I set the glass back down and poured another one this time she let the drink just sit there.

The lady was staring at the drink like it was something from another world. She said do that again. So I took another glass and did it again. I looked down and noticed the colors on the table was blue with a little green in it and was swirling around just like the drink. It was pretty cool looking. The lady called a few people over and those people called a few people over soon the whole bar was standing around me. The lady told me to bust a move the table turned white and the song I'm cool like that by digable planets was playing in the background. I grabbed a bunch of glasses and bottles and shakers and started doing these amazing tricks. The guy that told me to fuck off came back and challenged me to do some crazy trick that no bartender could do. Everyone souped it up so I obviously had to do it. I grabbed a lighter and poured alcohol on the table it turned to a goldish orangish color. I set the glasses into a pyramid form and filled them with different types of drinks and lit the whole thing on fire. It was kind of cool looking because every glass had an individual color of fire in it. I took the glass that was at the very top and downed it. It tasted like blue jollyranchers and mystery flavor airheads. Everyone cheered and the guy left off in a swinging his arms and complaining. The lady hopped over the table(that was still flaming ) and started french kissing me. She asked me how did I manage to pull of the trick and I tried to end the question with good closer so I said "Cause I'm cool like that!" Everyone started saying cause he's cool like that as we continued kissing and feeling on each other until I finally woke up.

I got home from long day of school today and wanted to take a little nap(it turns out that this "little nap" lasted for a long time lol. But anyway before I went to sleep I decided to try an expirement I wanted to do. I put my iPod on shuffle and fell asleep. I woke back up in my second period class it was just about time to go and I was walking downstairs to my locker with my friends Alec and Chris. It was cloudy outside and the hallway was pretty crowded. I got to my locker and kept hearing random songs in my head. Soon enough I was singing them outloud. Alec and Chris looked at me like I was supposed to be noticing something(THIS WAS LIKE THE BIGGEST HINT I COULD EVER GET!)They went their seperate ways and I was walking back upstairs when I saw a little freshman being jumped by a bunch of seniors. The seniors were wearing clothes from like the 90's and they all had hoodies and shades on. I walked up to them and ask them why did they do that to that defenseless kid. One guy wearing a big chain that he probably took from the kid walked up to me and said "Just to get A rep."One of them had a phone that was playing a familiar beat but I just couldnt get my mind on it. They walked off and now I was just standing in the staircase with the freshman.The freshman came up to me and asked me a stupid ass question so I pushed him into a wall.

Thats when it clicked to me(my iPod probably shuffled to the song Just to get a rep by gangstarr!) I yelled yes it worked! really loud but then I stopped because I wanted to make sure I knew I was dreaming so I did a nose pinch(for the first time) and it worked!(woot) I looked around and decided to continue with the story of the dream so I went looking for the group. I walked into a bathroom and found them all near the sink smoking weed. I made it seem like I had to use the bathroom so I went straight into a stall. After about 2 mins I came back out and walked toward the group. I didnt want to just start fighting them so I took it easy and went to the sink to wash my hands. There were bags of blue weed in it and it looked kind of freaky. I wiped my hands off with a towel that had a naked picture of Megan Fox on it and saw the leader with the chain standing next to me(it turns out that he was guru from gangstarr!). I thought to myself and said this is my chance I tapped him on his shoulder and he looked at me like he was about to beat the holy hell outta me. I asked him the same question I asked him when we were in the staircase. He looked at me and squinted his eyes and before he could even answer me I punched him square in his face. He fell and I stomped his head into the tile floor. It made a dent . I faced his lackies and they were all looking at me astonished then to my surprise the actual song came on(not really the song it was more like an instrumental) I cracked my knuckles and they all began to run at me. I ran at them a did a classic dropkick to knock them all down. I picked one guy up and power bombed him and broke his spine. Another guy came up to me and he looked alot like kid cudi. He still had a blunt in his mouth so I palmed his head and did this crazy magic hand thing that left him lifeless on the ground. I took the blunt smoked it then shoved it in his face. I was completely kicking all there asses until I finally saw all of them laying in agony. I was about to walk out the bathroom when guru grabbed my ankle. I was about to do this crazy move I saw on Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon until he said Why did I do that to him and his gang. I bent down and said "Just To Get A Rep." I then took his chain and smashed his head into the floor(much like those puches superheroes do when they punch the ground and make a crater in it ) I walked out the bathroom and stopped a kid from going in. I said "Dont go in there for at least 45 or 55 minutes!" The kid looked like he really had to pee so I let him go. Thats when I woke up.

Cant wait for all your other dreams!

I woke up and felt really hot and noticed that it was a fine summer day. I walked to my bathroom like I always do and washed my face. I looked in the mirror and noticed that all my hair was gone I yelled out Holy Shit! and my friend Chris came in. He asked whats wrong and I said Dont You See This! Someone cut off all my hair last night when we was partying! He let out a big laugh and said Dude look whats in your hand. I looked at my hand and saw a razor with clumps of black hair in it. Chris walked out the bathroom laughing his ass off and I was just staring at the razor wondering what just happend. I looked back in the mirror and saw a dirt road(I dont know why this didnt trigger my lucidity ) The sky was blue and the clouds were popcorn yellow. I said wow and yelled out Guy come in here and look at this!. The mirror started to sway towrds me and away from me until it finally got enough momentum to touch my face.The mirror went back to its original position and then suddenly enveloped me inside itself and now I was actually in the mirror

The dirt road was still in front of me and the clouds and sky were changing colors every second. I turned around and saw the mirror it reflected my bathroom in every way from the shower curtains to the toothbrush holder.
I touched the mirror and it was goey and sticky and some of it got on my finger(much like that part where neo touches the mirror in The Matrix).I wipped it off and faced the road again. I started walking down the road when the word Elsewhere kept popping up in the sky in different colors and fonts. A little freaked out I started to run really fast faster than I normally do. The road just kept going and going until I finally reached a pole that had two signs going the opposite way the sign on the right of me said Either and the sign on the left said Or. I said ahh what the hell and it echoed. I slowly walked into the Either path when I woke up.