non-lucid

1/04/13 Again the same conditions as last night, only this morning my phone alarm woke me unexpectedly which obliterated my recall D: Oh well this is the first time I have remembered more than one dream.

I was in a playground with a young Leonardo DiCaprio and a girl that I had never seen before, we were surrounded by zombies that were not attacking us rather they were attacking a man atop the slide. For some reason we didn't save him. Then in real life my alarm rang and woke me. I put it on snooze and went back to bed.

I was now in my drama lesson and the boys around were handling dollar bills so I assumed that for this project we were going to get paid. As I walked out of the lesson into the dining hall with this boy called Aaron there was a Asda store where food was usually served. He told me that he was having work experience there and jumped over the counter and took a cinnamon bun.

Then I was walking home in the dark with my friend called Jess and she was telling me she wanted to be a director when she was older, I remember thinking to myself 'as if...'

Ill try the FILD technique tonight hopefully I'll get somewhere with that. The purple represents the strange context of my dream (one of my dream signs is being somewhere new).

Got to work on my dream recall.

I woke up in the middle of the night with the thought feeling: I did it! I was lucid!

But no matter how hard I tried I cannot remember any of it, which makes me think that I probably was not lucid because lucid dreams do not fade like that. Although how do I know that for sure? Perhaps there are tons of lucid dreams I have had, but do not remember?

What I suspect is that this was another non-lucid dream about dreaming. Perhaps I actually remember my dream quite well, perhaps I dreamed "I did it! I was lucid!" And that was the content of my dream?

Anyway for a split second there I was very happy.

First dream was like semi-lucid. I was with a close friend on the roof of a very tall building, standing against the railings of the edge.
We had a very short conversation that i cannot remember. Then one moment i realize that im dreaming and i jump of the building. that was the end of the first dream.

I was in friends home. Something wasn't right. Then suddenly an intruder is my presence, and then i threw a knife at him but it only hit arm. So of run into the other room and grabbed my friends switch blade which i sometimes mess with in real life and the intruder walks in so i repeatedly stab in the upper body. end of dream 2

the other dream was influenced by a game was playing the day before. i was in a town. There was like 2 teams and we had a gun battle in the small abandoned town. We kill them all. Some why i remember that someone in our team also died. the game i was playing was called fallen earth.

I had another dream that i was skateboarding, i have very little memory of it. But i do remember that i was grinding down big rails doing grinds such as boardslides, blunt slides and crooked grinds. it felt really good, i was like whoa ive never done this before

Prior to bed, I had 2 margaritas and a daiquiri... I'm not shocked that my attempts last night were unsuccessful and my dream recall was terrible.

I went to bed focusing on the idea of awareness and lucidity. I focused specifically on the goal of meeting some friends for lunch at an inn in a fairly stable setting I visit (it is often where I wind up when I succeed at a WILD attempt). One of my other lucid goals was to go to a concert with a different friend of mine.

I did not go lucid, but focusing on my goals was not entirely fruitless.

In the non-lucid dream that followed, I DID meet up with some family friends for lunch. Lunch was in some sort of fast-food restaurant. For some reason, I couldn't stand the idea of ordering food; normally, I love french fries but for some reason in this dream, the thought of eating one made my stomach turn! I think that while I was asleep, I may have actually felt ill from the alcohol I ingested and reacted to the in-dream (very vivid) smell of french fries with actual nausea. Instead, I went and got a slushie from the slushie machine... a blue raspberry slushie. The whole restaurant had kind of an "outer space" theme to it.

I woke up briefly. I had set my intention to not move between dreams but EVERY TIME I woke up last night, I moved and then thought "d'oh!". I attempted a WILD but without success and lapsed into non-lucidity.

I was in a car with a friend and her teenaged daughter. We were driving down a highway in Nebraska, trying to find a restaurant... so we could go to lunch. Haha. The dream got a little blurry. We stopped at a truck stop that turned out to be kind of like a... club? My friend and the daughter disappeared once I went into the club. Instead, they were replaced by my friends A_ and two other "friends" I have never met in real life. All of us were wearing baggy, colorful animal-themed footie pajamas that looked kind of like animal costumes. The darker-skinned guy was wearing a costume that looked like a blue alligator... I don't remember what A_ was wearing... and I was wearing a big fuzzy rabbit costume or something. The whole environment felt like a combination of a comic book convention and a rave.

We went to the roof of the club, which had become kind of a skyscraper thing. To get up there you rode an escalator but it had been designed by a crazy artist so that it became so steep that everybody going up to the top had to support each other so they could even stay on the thing. Then you were supposed to get back to the ground floor on a giant slide. At the top there were several bands playing in kind of a "battle of the bands", including 3 identical-looking guys with acoustic guitars and huge puffy hairdos who were playing some stuff that sounded kind of like... I dunno... acoustic Linkin Park? Anyway, they lost the battle and their reaction was to start sobbing and then jump over the railing of the roof and fall to their deaths (they were 5 stories up). I saw this in slow motion from outside of the club. For some reason, at the time I thought the whole thing was hilarious.

There's nothing much I can get out from this dream, but here's a few.

I was standing at the end of the street I'm currently living in. I could tell that there weren't too many people around. I walked around this area earlier in the morning today(3/31/2013). I was also in front of a home where my attackers were last seen, but yet, the authorities could not do anything about it.

There was a home set out on this end of the street. The walls were the only thing that were finished, everything else was wasn't finished. It sort of reminds me of Blender because I was using it before going to sleep this morning.

There was a girl I met in the dream, not the Vietnamese one but, someone I recently seen on Youtube. She was nice, outgoing, but she wasn't normal in the dream. In the dream, she was still fun and nice, she was even playful around me. Her and me were both inside the walls of this unfinished building while she was cleaning up some books she had placed out on the floor. She'd pick these books up and place them in a nearby home on the same street. And every time she'd go in to the unfinished building to grab books, we'd both always talk to each other nicely and make friendly compliments.

There was a time when she wanted to give me one of the books she was taking away from the area. She gave me a book that used to be hers. I was a little excited that I got to keep it, especially from her. It was like treasuring her heart, her touch, on to this book. It sort of makes me want to go out there and get away from the thoughts that I have about someone else. I can but, Quynh is, of another genre, and from what I noticed throughout the moments I was left with unanswered questions, if you do not believe my friendship is good enough after a set of the given amount of time, innocence is no longer a virtue and anger will be all that is left.

Fragmented again, it seems.

Dream 1(fragment):

I was trying to get more people into lucid dreaming.

Dream 2(fragment):

I recall some outdoors area.

Dream 3(fragment):

I recall being in some kind of factory or technical building.

Before sleep: noticing sleep sensations

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Dream recall method: dr1- wrote down a few sentences and went over dream 2 times in mind before falling asleep; fragments – no method, had to wake up

HH1: unconsciously talk thinking to myself about some DV post

HH2: was dream thinking how hard it is for a woman to go out with a man in some restrictive countries

Dream1: I was at grandma2, and backpack was on the floor wide open. I noticed how many strange objects were there. We were about to go to the mountains and I was happy about that. I was thinking what to bring to read there, some magazine perhaps.

Now we are in the outskirts of the mountain, near a bus stop. I have most likely forgotten to go up the mountain and am heading back home instead. There are people on the bus stop and without any notice a dog bites my back. I do not feel any pain but I am tightly grabbed by its jaws, it doesn’t let go. I start thinking out loud why it attacked me, I wasn’t mentally provoking it in any way. I try to negotiate my way out of its grab, by talking to the dog. It eventually releases me.

I am at the lower part of the mountain where there are houses around. I head down a slope, but as I look at it, I see the shore. This turns into a very beautiful scene, where I am looking at a wonderful array of sea cliffs, the waves slowly clashing against the cliffs. I look at the sky and it is clear blue, the sun is shining on the cliffs and they look fantastic. I feel the urge to go as close to the water as possible. The waves, though, wet some cliffs so I decide not to go that far because it is slippery there. There are lots of people watching the sea and cliffs, some take pictures. Just behind me is the city hall and the female mayor, short dark red-brown hair comes to tell us that pictures are forbidden. An unpleasant DC man continues taking pics even photographs me. Soon two guards come and take everybody to a bus to drive them home or just drop them off somewhere. I want to go back to the beautiful place, so when the bus doors open I escape and go back. At this point the sun is already setting and the cliffs are darker. There are no people around so I still tour around looking at the shore. The guard comes back to pick me up again. We are walking somewhere but he has a sudden surge to visit the restroom, so I say that I will be waiting outside.



Fragment2: I am with my bf in a café maybe. But then I decide to go somewhere else, on my way I decide to go back. I get really confused in this unknown to me city center. The dream was quite vivid and I had a hard time orienting and even crossing the street where there were cars but no traffic lights. I cannot find the place I was initially in, so I try calling my bf. I end up in some nice looking hotel, preparing to have lunch there. I am not a guest of the hotel, but can use its facilities including having lunch there.

Fragment3: Another confusing walk. Initially I found the restroom but go out and try to go back. I am in this building complex and go round in circles, always ending up in something like a café, but I can’t find the restroom, I begin to feel completely lost in this maze.

Fragment4: Some kind of embroidered patches with animated characters. What was peculiar about this embroidery was that it kept on moving even after you sew it on clothes.

Fragment5: This was supposed to be a friend of mine, but it was a completely another person, with short hair and bright red thin lips. She has some kind of red medallion, which looked like a soft cotton Christmas toy.

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End-of-the-month review

Days since registered at DV: 19

March LD before DV reg: 1 DILD

March LDs after DV reg: 1 semi-lucid; 2 DILDs (both snooze type), pretty long and stable

Dream recall: fluctuating between very detailed dreams to remembering fragments and noting key words.

DJ: I am content that I have kept a pretty consistent DJ in the last few weeks


Things to continue working on:

- RC: start the day with RC; RC every time I meet a person!

- DS: add toilet to DS

- Sleep sensations: to increase general awareness and prepare for WILD

- WILD: I have to organize myself and make serious attempts at least twice a week?

- Sleep schedule: go to bed on time


Challenges:

- Disruptions: Unfortunately 2 guests will come in mid April in our apartment for 3 weeks full time, so I guess at that time my dream quests will be harder to follow.

- Negativity: sometimes I would wake up and think “No LD again", feeling disappointed. This has got to stop. Think instead, “The next LD is just around the corner” “I enjoy what I am doing and am happy with any dreams I can recall”.

- Laziness: just keep on writing DJ entries and doing RCs!!!

terrible recall tonight

1. i am working on a group project with unfamiliar people. we are in the auditorium of my elementary school. we are on laptops and we are running a program with a neon green and red on black colour scheme. there is some anxiety associated with this dream.

2. i am waiting for the bus in the snow with an unfamiliar girl. the atmosphere is very bleak.

3. i cannot remember anything about this dream except that i became lucid at one point! i simply realized that the circumstances of the situation were unrealistic and deduced that it was a dream. sadly my lucidity faded very quickly -- before i could do anything of interest.

4. false awakening. i am in bed in my room: very tired and disoriented. windows 7 error messages pop up and disappear constantly, obstructing my vision. i wonder if i am dreaming but decide that i am not. i am afraid that i am going insane.

Sunday 3/31/13
Bed 12:30 am

WBTB 6:12am - 8:30am

Cup of tea from peppermint tea and mint with green tea for iced tea.

woke up from 20 min long WILD at 10:10am

Regular DR 1- 2:30am - I'm walking down a hospital hallway, all happy, because if I can turn in a resume with lucid dreaming on it, I can work there helping people by teaching them LDing. (IWL, before bed, thinking if LD/OBE would help patients by trying to heal themselves/aura)

Regular DR 2 - 6:12am - I'm in a camp, packing, looking through every shelf and cabinet, not to leave anything behind.
- Then I'm walking through empty hall with a small girl. Someone is after us. I'm about to exit, when girl decides to pout and goes into one room. I feel they are about to get us and yell at her to follow me right now. Too late. Young woman is grabbing her.

I'm comming towards the camp in a car someone else is driving. At the fork in the road, we go to the right, but realize camp is to the left. To the right is something else.

I'm comming to the fork in the road again, I'm driving. I take the wrong right turn again but realize it and make a u-turn. At the camp, trying to blend in so bad guys don't recognize me. In cafeteria, cutting in line with a gun. Getting some steak pieces, masched and roasted potatoes for a kid.

Bad guy follows me on the street where I ran away. I yell at people to call the cops, but they can't hear me. Finally someone does and a female cop in light shirt shows up. I rpotect her from one guy, but another one shots her.

WBTB - while watching TV to get sleepy, I felt my legs getting relaxed pretty quickly. I knew it's gonna be a good one.
Mantra - when I see my room, I get up; when I see something, I touch it.

Listened to W. Buhlman's youtube interview on KOST 101 after dark (or something like that)

I started out on my back and turned to left side when vibrations were already happening. It didn't stop them. I moved my attention from vibrations in one knee to another, and they seemed to be stronger in the knee I had my attention on.

WILD - I suddenly realize I can see my room and I think to myself, that I don't need to wait any longer for a clue this will do. So I just get up and walk away.

I notice I'm only wearing socks. I'm hovering and gliding just few inches above ground. I know I have the desire to walk and to feel the ground so my LD is more stable, so I touch down and walk. I notice, that walking feels very realistic.

I recognize the house as mine and I'm happy. (it's not mine IWL) I walk through few doors in direction i know I should be going. I fly out and as the building stays behind me, a view to georgeous valley opens up. It's vibrant with green grass and houses. The beauty of it literally takes my breath away and I gasp for air. (Thank you, I have not had this feeling in a while and I really love it)

Now I'm talking to 2 teenagers on the patio of hotel or restaurant, same valley. I ask them if they lucid dream. Guy has a thick accent and there is a lots of noise, so I don't hear his questions or answers. But I do hear when he asks if you can go to restroom in LD. I tell him you can, but it's not satisfactory activity. It feels real, but you don't get satisfaction as if you empty your bladder IWL.

I'm in a cafeteria of a school. As I walk by a little boy, I notice a tasty aroma. I look back and he is eating some kind of a rice crispy bar. From writing on a box I assume it's something ethnic for the Easter holiday. I want to know where I coud buy some. Teacher takes the cookies out of the box and gives me the box. I'm pleased that there are some dark and light crumbs left, and I eat them. They taste good.

I'm asking this teacher and a few other people, if they know we are in a dream. I say, well, I'm lucid, and you are dreaming.

I'm outside. I remember the zooming trick I read about a few days ago. I look up and try to zoom myself to the moon. I raise my arms up and move them to zoom myself. (same way you zoom in and out from pictures on iphone - spreading or bringing closer your fingers/arms) But it's not working. I notice an island in the skies, something like in avatar, but this one is long and flat, full of greens. I think I'm getting closer to it.

I'm in a room with 2 guys and I'm seducing them, but I don't want it to look like it.

Ok, this was my single longest LD. Pretty good control and kept awareness by saying mantra before and during LD "I'm aware". Was able to make a decision to walk instead of fly, and got to talk to DCs again. Happy as can be.

03.31.2013

Spiders and Chainsaws and Fairies, oh MY! (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

In my back yard at night, two of the giant spider people who live in the forest come to pay me a visit. They tell me that I am "invited" to play a game with them tonight. I must survive in the forest until sunrise to win the game. If I decide not to play, there will be serious consequences. They show me a vision of an innocent looking butterfly-girl being tied up in webs. I intuitively know that this vision represents a person I care about being taken by the spider people if I refuse to participate.

I go out and by the brightest flashlight that I can find, because the spider people are weak against light. This will be my only protection against a race of beings who can blend perfectly into the shadows and see in the dark like it's nothing. "I'm totally screwed," I mutter to myself as I head back to my house.

I would really like to find someone to come with me to play the "game," but everyone is too busy. (There is some kind of adventuring Guild at my house that I am a part of.) I come across Cheyenne in one of the back rooms and briefly consider asking her to join me, but I realize that I'd only be putting her in danger and that she is likely the person the Spiders will take from me. I've got to do this alone.

As I head out, a Werewolf who is part of the guild (and possibly an old character of mine from high school) asks me to go on a really important quest for him. I say that I will, but I have to play the Spider's game first.

When I get out in the forest, I hide myself under a tree and wait. After a few minutes of nothing happening, I get bored and decide to leave. ((So apparently it wasn't that important after all...?))

I take up my werewolf friend's quest and head out with my brother and my dad down the back road. It is a two part quest: part of it involves something deep in the forest, and part of it involves killing the daughter of a very important man in a village not far from here. We decide to deal with the girl first.

The gravel road should lead directly to the village, but there is a big red truck parked in a nearby field with two sentries. Our first plan is to sneak by unnoticed. We begin crawling low to the ground, but are spotted anyway. We stand up quickly as the truck approaches us. Time for plan B.

Before the two men in the truck can ask questions, I put on a stupid expression and point down the road. "We were wondering where this road leads to," I say amiably. I can see that the driver believes us not to be a threat.

"Oh, just follow us," he says and drives slowly down the gravel road. We follow for a short distance, until he stops just before the village and gets out. "I'll show you around, he says."

His passenger gets out as well. He is a GIGANTIC man with a chainsaw, which he revs threateningly. I am concerned about this one, but I play my part of the oblivious traveler.

The two men take us through the village, showing us different shops and various important people here. The man with a chainsaw follows at a distance, ready to cut us to bits at any moment.

At one point, my companions and I step just outside of the village to have a brief talk. There, we find a Fairy Ring. We stand in the middle of the ring. One of the people with me ((no longer my dad and brother, my companions kept changing throughout the dream)) says that this is a good sign and that we must ask the Goddess for her blessing in order to complete our quest. Suddenly fairies begins swirling around us, emitting a beautiful light. They swirl up to the very heavens, where we can see a vision of the Goddess smiling down at us. She sends the light back, even more beautifully than before, and tells us that we have her blessing.

We return to the village and have audience with the leader. We are hoping to gain knowledge of where his daughter is. I am sent looking for the leader's missing shoe, which I accidentally step on. An evil skeleton wraith lunges up from the shoe and starts attacking me. I shatter it to pieces, dispelling the spirit. Apparently we had needed this spirit for something, and the leader tells me he can not bring it back.

I wake up shortly afterward.

This dream was on dreaming again. It took place in some sort of board room filled with official people. I was not there, just observing like a movie, not an actor. The officials could have been judges or moderators, or they could have been consciences of DV members, or different representations of the one God.:

The discussion seemed to be a decision making debate, where the consequences of the decision would matter / make an actual difference / change. The discussion's topic was whether dreams should be limited or unlimited. It appeared that a recent development meant that a prior decision needed to be re-examined, whether it needed to be changed.

31/3/13 Same conditions as last night -.- I recorded my voice this morning instead of writing it out.

I started heading to a rec centre/youth club with my friends Emma and Aaron to go a an old friend called Josh. I was dreading it as I had two pieces of paper that contained information about me and Josh that I had typed up (rather similar to a diary entry) on a website.

Once inside, we all sat down and Josh started saying that I needed to remove the diary entry as he would never ask me out, I had written that we were dating. I was crushed. Aaron took his side speaking to me as if he was my father; telling me off severely.
Soon after I left in hysterics, felling humiliated (I know even the dream version of me is a drama queen).

Suddenly, I was on my way to a biology lesson with my friend Charlie and this kid Evan from school. Evan was being loud so this scary teacher came to tell him off whilst me and Charlie ran too our separate lessons. The assistant teacher of this lesson was taking our names and when I told him he spelt my name wrong he answered "Sometimes people get names wrong, even yours" I sat at the desk still feeling sad.

Recall massively improved from last night, dream signs are emerging.

Teal = Awareness dream sign
Purple= Context dream sign

Speaker was male, no clue who:
...
"But if we eliminate dreaming, what effective approach would we use instead?"
...

I'm in a house I've never been in, standing near a girl I don't know. We are in a kitchen. The girl walks up to me with a small, glass teapot. She holds it out to me. I take it from her and immediately start drinking. It's filled with warm, sweet tea. I drink every last drop and lick as much of the inside as I can reach. Once I'm done, I turn around to the kitchen sink, turn on the faucet and begin to rinse the teapot. The girl walks up next to me with a few more in her hands. I finishing rinsing and place the pot on a towel on my other side. As I set the pot down, the handle breaks off. I panic for a second, but instantly I calm down and rinse a new teapot that the girl hands to me. "That always happens," she says. "You have to be more gentle with them." I nod slightly in agreement and we rinse off the rest of the teapots.

Yay for another decent length lucid dream, and once again it's WILD from a dream.

Only thing i can recall from non-lucid part is that i was at home and i was WILDing.
I wake up and take off headphones, confirming that i am dreaming, i get up and the dream becomes very unstable, i start rubbing hands and dream becomes more stable, but still not fully stable, i go to balcony, on the way i imagine time of day changing and it rapidly changes to night then back to the day, i start touching the door frame and concentrating on that, dream fully stabilizes. I jump and and glide in the air, i start feeling wings but for some reason i have trouble moving vertically, which prevents me from flying through the doorway. I drop back to the floor and jump again, i feel wings again and this time flight works properly. I fly through the balcony doorway, but instead of balcony there are some other rooms, i quickly navigate through them and find true balcony doorway. I fly outside.
I fly straight and then slightly to the right, i am flying even faster than previous time. Near trees i attempt to increase that speed even more, but end up zooming my view in instead somehow. Surprised, shortly i restore view back to normal and continue flying beyond trees. I reach different area, finally it's non-city dreamscape! There are hills, various trees and river. There are also bridges connected by cobble roads and DCs are roaming around. I decide to try to do transformation into a dragon again using method that worked before, with visualizing and shouting 'Dragon Form!', but once again i can only manage to transform hands, black scales appear on left hand and green on right hand, as well as claws, and fade out shortly. I do a couple more attempts while flying along the river, on the third attempt i have a bit more success, i get red scales on left hand and black on right hand, and this time they look more detailed, have more vivid feel and last longer. I fly around some more and eventually i get distracted by some DCs and transformation disappears as well. I can't recall much for a while other that we went to assault some enemy DCs.
Eventually we get into some sort of treehouse where enemy commander resided, the team beaten him up but all the fight destabilized the treehouse and it was barely balancing. After some balancing attempts it ends up completely upside down and everyone falls onto the ceiling. There are wasps. Lots of wasps. Hundreds of wasps. They sting me and somehow get into my mouth while i was trying to get up, i feel a bit of pain but not much. I suddenly remember what i was doing and fly out of the house, which falls. There are hills around and a few trees, and there are wasps absolutely everywhere, a whole swarm of them. I fly around while spitting out the wasps that got into my mouth, then i concentrate energy and imagine healing and pain goes away. I also try to breath fire at wasps, without transformation, but that fails too, though i think i ended up scaring them off and they shortly go away.
I fly back to the river area, looking around for something interesting, but after a while, suddenly, dream instantly changes the palette and instantly destabilizes, i rub hands but dream destabilizes again, time stops for a bit and it screws up my flight, so i end up falling to the ground.
On the ground i look around, there's female DC right near me, looking at me. I ask her 'You again?' even though i didn't meet her before, but in dream i was pretty sure i did( ). Shortly dream fades out.
I wake up and get distracted, because everyone is watching movies in my room for whatever reason. Shortly i wake up properly with some heavy hypnopompic hallucinations that someone is still watching movies in my room, which lasts for a few seconds, making me do a bunch of RCs.