non-lucid

CL's DJ entry just jogged my memory of the NLD I tried DEILDing from this morning.

All I remember is that I am in a church service and a group of attractive young ladies are taking their tops off because it is hot. They are seated to the right and a few rows back. I turn to watch them. All of them have sport bras on so I think it's not that bad. Then I notice one of the girls is laying down on the pew like she is sun bathing or sleeping. Her bra is open in the front and her bare breast exposed. I stare at this longer then I should have and then realize how inappropriate she is being in church. I say something to my wife about it and marvel how no one seems to be bothered by it.

03.24.2013

Hiding Spots (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am running from a particular group of people who always manage to find me. My brother is with me. We are part of some Hunger Game-esque future in which college and high school age students are thrown in prison camps.

My brother and I run down the dirt road behind my old house, when we see a dark car up ahead. We quickly take another fork in the road, only to come across another car. Both drivers are now after us. We veer off the road into the forest until we see a cabin. With nowhere left to go, hidng there seems to be a good option.

When we enter, however, there are two men standing there. I am about to fight them, but they convince me that they are on our side. "Not everyone agrees with wiping out part of society," one man says bitterly. He tells me that he was a teacher. I decide that I can trust him.

We hear car doors out front. "Hide!" the men say.

There aren't many suitable hiding places in the room. My brother hides beside a bookshelf while I hide under a couch. The men chasing us never come into the cabin.

recall has been terrible the past few nights. thinking of taking up awareness-enhancing/LD-inducing techniques again but that's difficult when you're very busy irl

the dream began in the townhouse basement. it was dark. i don't recall what i was doing there. later i was trying to change the colour scheme on an ipod? then i was with my uncle in a version of my grandmother's living room. some other people were there but i forget who. he put on a blues song which i recognized as frog eyes - time reveals its plan at poisoned falls (i assumed that this version was a cover of the "original" blues song). i sang along to it. then it was very dark and i was sitting at a computer. i was trying to make a fake kickstarter for a tablet so that i could make money. i recall having significant difficulties with this.

then i am hanging off the side of a bed and trying to get a pin that has fallen underneath. B---- is watching me and making sarcastic comments. there are two lollipops under the bed, one wrapped and one unwrapped. i cannot reach the pin. i recall that i need the pin for sexual purposes (what in god's name are those purposes? i don't know.)

finally i am watching a woman dance in an empty room (concrete floor and walls; dirty; colour scheme is desaturated, dark teal). she is nude except for a pair of pink panties and i am not able to see her face. on her lower back (left sacral area) she has many deep wounds, which are (insufficiently) covered by flesh-coloured bandages in the shape of bows.

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there's not much to analyze here, but a few things i found worthy of comment:

i often have dreams wherein my subconscious is able to replay a musical piece entirely from memory and it is always flawlessly accurate... in real life my musical memory is nowhere near this prodigious (i tend to recall only lyrics and vague ideas of the vocal delivery). i really wonder what about the dreaming state allows me access to greater musical capabilities & how i can come to harness this ability in real life.

in most of my dreams that have sexual content the sex object is female... in waking life i consider myself heterosexual, i'm in a happy relationship with a man and i don't really find myself attracted to women. it's interesting, therefore, that it's mostly women who appear in my sexual dreams and i find myself wondering why. i have a vague idea that i find male sexuality more threatening than female sexuality and thus sexual situations involving women are simpler/"easier" to dream about, but really i'm not sure.

updated "she loves me not" and desire....links were dead.

Also had some dream about H being upset with me...no matter what I did or how much I apologized, it didn't matter.

Dream recall from today's nap, got lucid due to attempting WILD in a dream again as well as finally did some goals as well as TOTM.

I can't recall much about dream start, but i was at home and i was apparently sick, it was nighttime and i was watching Syphon Filter let's play, it was pretty weird in way that there were driveable vehicles and one level had the jump that was supposed to be done in vehicle, but player failed and was forced to redo whole level because the jump was done above area where level starts. Dad was annoying me because he decided to sleep in my room for whatever reason. Later i was watching another level with massive bridge and armored enemies, which supposed to be boss level of some kind. I looked at time and it was time at which i should go for nap. So i went for the WILD.
I wake up and it is daytime, i can't move, also for some reason i am in position in which my view is rather limited. The bed position is different too, and there were no curtains on windows, but i didn't notice it at that moment. So dream manages to convince me that i have sleep paralysis event. In a bit i hear sound of someone walking behind the window. I am slightly alerted for a second, but only for a quick second, then i get back to calm state again. I hear more sounds behind window and then i see some shadow figure. It breaks through the window and runs towards me. At this point i start suspecting that i am dreaming, but still can't move. Now it's not shadow anymore, but a person, i can only see legs though due to position i am paralyzed in. He starts punching and kicking me, i feel being hit, but no pain, i still can't move though so i just absorb hits like a badass until i fall out of the bed. I am able to move now, and i ask the person why he's doing it, i can't recall response but i was not satisfied with it, i looked at the person and apparently he is a midget. He decided to continue attacking me, but i just... sit down on him. He's angered and somehow manages to grab me and almost throw me, but i grab him in response too. Then he grabs in different way, making it harder to keep balance, but i respond by grabbing differently too. We continue that 'fight' while epic orchestral music is playing, until i get him into situation where keeping balance is just ridiculous, like he has to stand in weird pose on single finger while grabbing my hand, and while i am not touching the floor at all and grabbing him somehow... i am not sure how to describe this fully, haha. But i apparently win and i free myself from the grab.
I say something i can't recall to midget which was lying on the ground and walk to the window, which is not broken now apparently. I smash it with my fist and it breaks, i get through and check hands, no damage on them and left hand has 7 fingers, also they are like super detailed. I take off and start feeling wings, i fly straight ahead and then slightly to the left this time, and i fly pretty quick, i also hear sound of wings more clearly that previous time. Shortly dreamscape changes and i am now flying above some different place in the city, i decide to try transforming into a dragon again, but no dice, i continue flying and dreamscape changes again, to some kind of outdoor restaurant with a bunch of DCs, i fly above it and dreamscape changes once again, now there's some buildings. I spontaneously get an idea that transformation would be easier if i get more destructive.
I fly straight into building wall and start breaking through it at full speed, it ends up very very thick, since i am breaking through it for whole 5 seconds already, without lowering speed. There's not much light and i decide to visualize transformation now, and i have feeling of change. After a couple more seconds of breaking through the wall i manage to reach some rooms, which luckily had some light. I look at my hands and i have claws and hands are fully covered with green and black scales, it's awesome, though i didn't changed in size, i think. I try to talk and my voice has weird tone messed with something like combination of roar and some high pitched sound. I haven't stopped flight for whole time, so i end up breaking through the wall again, deciding to get back to outside, but eventually everything fades out.
I feel myself back at the bed, but all i can see is darkness, i try to shout, but my voice is replaced with sound similar to one i had during transformation, i feel paralyzed and shortly i see some black and white portrait in the darkness.
I wake up while shouting, family is in the room and they make 'wtf' faces, i respond that "that's why i don't do this when someone else is in the room, especially when sick", i get up and then i wake up properly and immediately do an RC, haha.

Again, another night where I didn't remember much. Frustrating. My sleep schedule has been irregular, which doesn't help.

In the last dream of the night, I walked a few miles down the road from my aunt's house to a convenience store that doesn't actually exist. I wanted to buy 2 gallons of milk, some food, and some candy bars. I didn't have enough money for the entire purchase on one card, so I had to do 3 separate transactions for less than $4 each. The clerk put each transaction in its own plastic bag.

I began to walk home. The milk was heavy and somehow both my hands and arms were full, and the bags were unwieldy. I stopped at another store to meet up with my mother. For some reason I set the bags down momentarily and went into the store. When I returned, my bags were gone. I didn't have any more money left to buy any more milk or food, so I curled up in a ball on the ground and began to sob.

I was able to knock out for an hour or so...

I'm standing above a body on a table. This person, which I cannot see, is restrained with endless amounts of plastic. I'm holding a knife right above their heart. My hands won't stop shaking. Dexter walks up behind me, pressing his chest into my back and securing his arms around my waist. "You can do this", he says. "I'm right here with you." I close my eyes, take a breath, and without hesitation, I plunge the knife into the body.

2004-2005

1. I have been sleeping in my bed. I am five years old. I have a strange dream that a faceless creature is living underneath my bed, banging on the bed frame to get out. This nightmare continues so drastically that I have trouble distinguishing dream from reality. I frequently check underneath my bed for the thing.

2. I have a nightmare that the thing breaks out and strangles me, and then marches through the city. I spray monster repellent at it. Not understanding that it is a dream, I check underneath my bed to assure that it wasn't there anymore. I expect to have a good night sleep, but I do not. The incubus gets me each night.

3. I dream I am touring the preschool I am going to. My mom chats with the teacher while I go to play with the blocks, but I see it crouching behind a chair, shrouded in darkness. The next day I go to my real preschool in fear.

Total sleep time: 9+ hrs

Dream recall technique: dr1 – woke up, noted key words only, went to bed and played the dream 3 times in mind; dr2-dr4 left it entirely to chance if I would recall anything after final wake

Other irrelevant info: was supposed to wake up on time but turned off the alarm, and as I lay in bed I fell asleep, woke up two hours later and had a shorter Saturday. Well, you can’t have it all…

Dream1: I am looking at a building and can see a female politician . I am in some kind of garden where there is sand instead of grass, and cactus-type looking plants. The politician is going somewhere and I hide behind part of the garden construction, observing her. She has a beautiful watch, silver with tiny diamonds. I am thinking about the watch so I zoom in, in my mind. It then becomes a strange looking ring. There is a large gray stone in the middle, and the metal part looks like a twisted wire, like an old handicraft object. I am thinking about how people have treasured rings and precious stones even in ancient times.

I walk to another section of the garden, where I see small insects, like bees or flies, but hey, they are walking bypedally and have colourful armour. Next to them are small toys similar to kinder surprise toys. They are also alive and move. There a 3-4 different types and 4 of each type one next to the other.

Around the garden there is a race track, where Formula 1 cars usually drive. I start throwing small pieces of paper on the track. I later realize that these pieces may interfere with the driving, but it is too late. The cars cannot drive any more, they malfunction and get broken. I begin to worry that the cost of the damages would be really high, these are F1 cars. People would know it is me who did it, because the pieces of paper all have my name written on them. I start to collect them from the track in a plastic bag that I bring with me, and which I leave nearby. My collecting the papers is in vain, because somebody already saw one or two of these and they know. I am looking at a monitor which has information about one of the drivers. All I recall from what I read is that the driver is racing for Renault. I then remember that I left the plastic bag with the papers near the track so I want to go back and take it. I use an elevator to do so. The elevator comes and I press the 4th floor but don’t get in. The doors close, and I think “Damn, now I have to wait again”, but suddenly I find myself in the elevator and am going up.

This turns into some kind of detective series, where I am the party who is at fault, I am also a man. There is a woman with me who is investigating what has happened, and a relative of whoever has suffered from my action. I have no idea what that means, but I have the desire to tell that relative that it is me who is responsible for this and so I tell her. She gets really mad and annoyed with me, and I have to flee to another room to escape her reaction.

At some point in the corridors of that place my grandpa appears. [I haven’t seen him for 15 yrs irl, divorced grandma a long time ago]. I am surprised that I see him, the image becomes quite vivid and on focus. [Maybe it’s a dream?] I just ask him how he is, and how his family is doing.

Dream2: I am going somewhere very far to throw away the garbage. I find myself in a basement like room where there are hats on the couch. I am trying to concentrate on throwing away things and I see in a box containing trash, how many things I have actually cleared out. I look at another box and recognize some books as mine that I don’t want to get rid of. Maybe I will just use the place as a storehouse then, I think to myself.

Initially, I leave the room and want to be on my way, but there is a bum in front of me, and his scary looking dog(DS), like a big hound. He is also out of his mind, he is talking to himself or people that are not there. I try to avoid him. Then I decide that I want to go back to the place, but he is in front of the entrance. The place is now at the corner of a building and there are two entrances. That does not make it easy for me to enter. This is a favourite place for bums who are everywhere and so are their dogs. The dogs try to enter the place and the bums are inside. I finally manage to get in. I notice lots of rucksacks on the floor. My own rucksack feels suddenly very heavy and I open it. Inside of it is another red rucksack. [Crazy, bit just a bit].
As I am leaving the place a bum woman DC starts talking to me and I pretend I am one of them.

I am going home, walking down the street. I pass some place where they sell food so I decide to buy some. The place is like Indian food, but is not Indian at all. Some kind of really exotic stuff I really can’t describe, like green looking pasta, and some stuff that is half-cooked. The DC that works there comes at me, he has dark skin but is not Indian I have no idea where he is from. I ask him what kind of meat that is and stare at one of the products he is selling. He says it’s buffalo.

Dream3: I am in a phone booth and I am looking at an advertisement of Heinz tomato soup. In the ad this guy tells the story of how this soup has changed his life or something of the kind. I look at the name of the guy, it is my friend’s name. [who really loves that soup by the way]. I find the ad very funny. I am in a room and am talking to the friend “So, you took part in the ad, huh?”. He confirms, and then complains that the room smells unpleasantly, and that he can’t sleep there. I am trying to find ways to bring some fresh air in.

Dream4 [Fragment]: I am on the level of the first floor and look down to see two DS casually lying on the ground. The guy has shoulder –length blonde hair and perhaps a leather jacket, and there is a girl lying next to him. They look like they enjoy living like hippies, all relaxed and stuff. Suddenly, my boot slips away from my foot and starts falling. I yell at them to watch out, but it hits the guy. I begin to apologize but he doesn’t seem to mind the boot falling on him at all. Then, wearing socks, I try to step on some kind of metal ladder to come down and get my boot back.

I napped. When I woke up my thought mas that lucidity is just around the corner. Was this my waking mind's insight or the subject of my dream? I do not recall.

I'm in my living room sitting on the couch, some family and strangers are here sitting on the couch and on recliners and such. We know that cameras are set up everywhere, we just don't know exactly where. It is because someone signed us up on a show like big brother. Some of us walk up to the master bedrooms bathroom, the door is open, we look in and there is smoke and flickering lights and an organ playing creepy music, the show made it a haunted bathroom and this girl next to me needs to use the bathroom but she is to afraid to go in so we go sit on the couch and the music stop in the bathroom after awhile so me and the girl walk to the bathroom ninja like but then the music starts up again. I tell her " There's no way they can watch us the whole time" but it seems they do. So we give up on the bathroom, all we do is sit around and are conscious of being watched. There is this random microwave between the tv and master bedroom door. My mom hands me this microwave dinner, it's pasta with shrimp, so I put it in the microwave and set it to something but the I set it to something like [as''9:4422ffg] I just couldn't figure out the microwave so that setting seemed fine and I turn it on and walk to the kitchen to open the fridge and see what other food or drinks the show provided us. I just see cardboard scraps and a clear plastic bag filled with water and dinner rolls, I don't want soggy bread I think then shut the fridge annoyed at the show messing with us with stupid fridge items. I go to the microwave to check on my food, but when I open it isn't there anymore, now a tupper wear bowl filled with water is just sitting in there. I assume the show did it to fuck with me so I yell "They're fucking with me!!!", but then a stranger says "oh no, the show didn't do it, your mom threw it out.", I turn to my mom and say "what! you dumb ass!!why did you do that!!'", and she just gives me this stupid calm look and say "I thought you didn't want it", so I say "You dumb ass! I put it in the microwave because I wanted it!", and I just get angrier and angrier because the look on her face gets more and more empty like a bimbo.

Overslept a bit somehow, got up very quickly and still managed to recall some dreams, and one of them even had pretty memorable storyline, guess 'reversive' recall type that i have isn't really a bad thing after all.

Dream 1(fragment):

I was in Minecraft with my friend LV and had some mods installed apparently. We found out good cave to hide in quickly and were figuring out what to do, the floor of the cave was made of various ores for the most part, so we quickly got picks and started mining. There were not just ore blocks, but also a few ore crystals that dropped corresponding ore dust with each hit and could be hit like 10 times. Then night came and we had to fight loads of various mobs, i was using a bow but was really horrible at aiming it. I also recall that one of mobs was wraith from Mo's Creatures mod. A bit later we found an underground lake under the cave we were in, which had edible minisquids of some kind in it. We caught and eaten bunch of them to recover health.

Dream 2:

I was playing some game, which seemed to be based on some anime, a group of heroes(one of which looked quite similar to Ichigo from Bleach) were fighting through various locations and i was controlling one of them. We have reached endgame and there were only six elite enemies left, which were based on colors: two blue, two red and two green. They were also super powerful and each of them had special unique ability that was really overpowered, and it was activated by an special shout, but we managed to defeat them all, then there was final boss of some kind, but we defeated that too. I was finished with the game, but suddenly some hidden mode was unlocked.
In that mode i was controlling one of the enemies, and he basically had his own storyline, to be exact, i was controlling one of the red elites. His special ability was summoning bunch of red swords that targeted enemies around. During play the story revealed that the colored elites were in close relationship with each other and weren't really bad after all! In fact, they were fooled by someone else. Later on, he had to fight the blue elites and it was pretty hard fight, but i managed it. One of the blue elites, before dying, told the truth to the red about that the whole point of their existence Is an experiment. Red was depressed.
Then there was level that was happening near some kind of circus and there were bunch of circus based enemies, like clowns and such, there were alot of them at near the end of the level too, marching across the street, and they had some weird creatures with them, i managed to destroy them all. The next level started in a white marble area with pillars, which made me recall level from original storyline, and indeed, the second red elite was there. He was trying to explain something, but the red elite i was controlling said that it's false and that there's no way that it could be not. Then after some arguing they started the fight. It was obvious that this was the last fight in this alternate storyline, and also they were not able to use special ability of them. At the end of the fight. the other red asks the one i was controlling why he could not understand, but he explains that he knew everything all along, they both came through same path(i assume other red killed green elites), but the reason he was doing it for was that the special ability, when near death, becomes much more powerful, and that it becomes even more powerful when both of the same color use it, and that if they have to end like this, it would be better to end with a bang. The other red dropped a tear. The heroes were approaching the room, so both wounded red elites were going to execute the plan, they were going to kill each other with special ability at the same time. At this point i had to get right timing to enter name of the shout, but i forgot it, so it failed.
I restarted from the last checkpoint and reached same point again and paused the game. Then i went to the other PC and had to use broken headphones for some reason, i closed like ten YouTube windows that were there and started up the game to look up the shout. As i found it(It had two words, first one was 'Maroon' i think, the second one can't recall sadly, also other red had 'Maroon' for the first word of the shout as well) i went back to my PC. This time everything went properly, both special abilities were executed and heroes entered the area at the same time, the red i was controlling said 'Everyone will remember us' and an huge red blast happened and did some serious damage to the area, leaving the mark that will stay here forever. Heroes somehow managed to survive though, and were confused why red elites done this. Then dream faded out.

1. i had stolen four pieces of chocolate from somewhere. i was in a bedroom with blue walls (distorted version of real life). i set the chocolate down on the bed but it was soon covered with ants. i put two towels on the bed and some sort of leather tarp to prevent the ants from getting at it. then i was in an unfinished basement and my mother was arguing with another woman? i think i traded the chocolate for some kind of educational children's toy -- it was a transparent model of a head with an open top, you could stick your hand into the "brain" which was a bunch of tiny blue gears...

2. i am at school and i am given an opportunity to study different ecosystems. i choose to study one with a chinese name. i am given a large petri dish. it contains murky green water with small white particulates swirling around the centre in a floral pattern. however, goopy orange and white organic growths begin to appear in the petri dish and ruin the pattern. i try to remove the slimy growths but they keep forming. at one point my ex starts working on the same project beside me. he is doing even worse than i am. i am angry at him and i get second-hand embarrassment at his failure.

First of all I barely remember this dream, as it was about 16 or so hours ago now(it's now 2am)...

From what I remember in the beginning, I was in some building(dimly lit, kind of like in some fps game,presumably ground floor because you could see the ground normally and the only staircase went up) with some other random guy, and he wanted to hack some random place (which was probably some large corporation) and I think I said something about telling him to not leave the phone running too long or they will come after us (I think thats how he was trying to hack them, through the phone). Then some time later(don't know) I noticed he was somewhere else and the phone was hanging by its cord and so I went and hung it up as soon as I saw it and told him that we have to leave and so we started running up the stairs and he was a little bit behind, and then I noticed he got caught and I continued my escape up the stairs and out the building(somehow ground floor, non-euclidean space huh?). After that I remember being some rather unusual person that seemed to be rather arrogant with how he knew some weird power to control wind and bragged about it a couple times in the dream and I was in some (wheat?) field with some other oersibn person (sorry, epic typo, had to leave it in) who seemed to not care, then all of a sudden some weird vaguely human-shaped creature popped out of the fields and started running towards me in some weird way(not all that fast either) and then the other guy went and suddenly attacked the creature with two mini-tornado-like air currents which seemed to pretty much destroy the creature where it touched. After that I think the other person spoke to someone after bringing me with him, and mentioned something to do with the fact that I witnessed him using those powers, and I'm pretty sure that the other person seemed to be alright... and thats the last part of the dream I can remember.

Also, I can only remember two single fragments from the dream that was after that one, so I won't bother putting it here.

I had the worst night. I could not for the life of me get to sleep. And when I was able to sleep a little bit, it was a very light sleep and never more than an hour or so. I'm really tired. I just can't sleep! I did have some fragments though....

Dream Fragment 1: Kurt Hummel and I are excitedly walking down a huge spiral staircase. There are tons of people, so I grab his hand. He looks down at our joined hands and then at my face, smiling the whole time. We then start trying every handshake that we can think of and crack up laughing.

Dream Fragment 2: I'm holding a baby boy in my arms. He tells me that he has to go to the bathroom. I raise him higher on my hip and start walking hurriedly to the bathroom. He falls asleep in my arms.