non-lucid

A day is cold; a girl can see her own breath of life.
A dusty glass window beside is covered with frost,
A little girl not older than ten is locked outside on a veranda.

The sky is darkening to icy blue
It is reaching for her; a cold thing, a dark thing.
Hands as white as bone and snow
She crouches and clenches her legs tightly
Warmth sieves through her claws like desert sand.

Whimpering,
She desperately bangs a glass… locked door beside.
Daddy, let me out! I won’t cry, let me out!
Is he sleeping?

Her runny nose is red like Rudolf,
Not Santa, she whispers herself, not Santa.
Clever girl knows it was her dad dressed in Santa.

Shivering, she punches a sliding glass door, bang.
Making noise might wake him up.

But… she drops her hand feebly.
He hates noise; he hates a child crying like a child.
A bitter dry cold was too much for a little girl.
Her body is numbing with stiff pain and blue,
Her thumbs have dry crevices trickling with blood.

He won’t let me out, till I give the right answer.
Silence will unleash the sentence
The obedient girl keeps her breath as silent as possible.

Santa doesn't like crying kids.
Only the dripping sound of tears fills the air

Daddy let me out.

7/31/12

I had work at a community pool, so me and my friend Jacob went there. We sat down on a log with lifeguard tubes, but nobody else was there. My replacement, SK, came and told me to go home. I didn't, and after that she disappeared. I crossed a wooden bridge into a treehouse which was supposed to be the guardroom. My sister was standing there, and she said that it was 3:45 and she came to bring me home.

I was doing math, and looking for someone. Trying to catch someone. I feel like I was reading through A Tour of the Calculus, looking at his proof regarding instantaneous velocity. There was much more to the scenario, but I can't hold it in my mind. My sister was there. At the end, we all went to a UWA football game. Grammy, Paw-Paw and a lady that was supposed to be Mrs. Rose but that we called Aunt Betty Jo were already there. We went up to the concession stand, I was gonna get wings and a sprite. Then my alarm woke me up.

Woke up for about 20 minutes. Was gonna attempt a WILD, but felt pretty sick, just fell asleep. In this dream, some girl and I were traveling with some lady, was was going to teach us some kind of supernatural skill, I believe. We were in a large hotel, a few floors up, in a city. She leaves, comes back, and I see she has a gun. She pulls it on the girl, telling her to write. I quickly move to the lady, wrest control of the gun from her, point it at her head, and pull the trigger. No round comes out, it just clicks. So we run. We get downstairs, and Rachel over to a little corner store thing, buys a copy of Cosmopolitan, and gets really excited. The girl has become Rachel by this point. Turns out, she had written an article for it. Something about under-appreciated artists, or something of the sort. I remember a picture from the article. A girl was performing some song, I assume, standing on top of a bull, and Rachel was down at the base cheering and looking very excited. At this point, Rachel runs off, and someone else we know, Becca maybe, who we have just run into since coming downstairs, asks me why I always have to steal her thunder, in regards to asking Rachel about her story and taking all the credit as the excited friend, I guess.

And I was about to attempt a WILD, as I'm feeling a lot better, but the apartment just woke up.

A rather vague night of dreaming, I didn't have time in the morning to recall so I don't have much.

Dream 1:
I cut my hair for some reason, the cut was right through the middle and i thought i would look really stupid. After looking in the mirror my hair actually looked really good and stylish. Pity I didn't go lucid :/

Dream 2:
Some girl was standing in front of me persistently showing me what she does as reality checks. She was bouncing around and doing something with her hand. To be honest she was annoying me and I just wanted her to go away.

#1 - When Did We Become A Resort? [Non-Lucid]

I don't recall too much about this dream, but I do remember that I was with my family staying at some sort of resort, except the setting was actually just our house. There was some woman in a fancy (and shiny, if memory serves) dress doing inspections around the house/resort, so I had to make sure to hide all of the drug-related stuff in my room before she got there so I wouldn't get in trouble. There had been a lot of drug nonsense going on earlier in the parts of the dream I can't really remember, but I do remember a flash of flying a magic carpet through skyscrapers in a downtown area on LSD. Anyway, the lady showed up and did her inspection, and all that really comes back about it was that I had the slightest desire to try to steal the woman's body from her. There was also some comment about how people kept trying to give us these rectangular cheesecake slices for free, claiming that they were "flannel cake", because it was his birthday. After that, I woke up.

#2 - My Demon Pals [Non-Lucid]

I was walking around my old high school/a wedding that a bunch of people I knew from school were at. Walking around with me were two demon spirits: a skinny, normal-looking guy except for the fact that his face (and especially eyes) just gave off that feeling of evil, and a big, buff guy wearing a fedora and with a cannon for an (at least one) arm. Cannon guy was causing mayhem by shooting cannonballs everywhere, and I was just laughing. There may have been some of my normal friends with me too, but it's hard to remember now. I saw this girl I've known since really early in school, KR, running by me in a wedding dress holding a leash and a long wire for some reason, and I took the wire from her and kept running alongside her. A bunch of other people from the school started running with us and I had the feeling that we were racing each other to this one special location we were all headed towards, just to be like we were carefree kids again like in school. That was fun. However, that image was becoming fainter as it went on, and then I woke up into sleep paralysis. My entire room felt like it was encompassed with a powerful energy, things were constantly pulsing and waving, and my vision was somewhat blurry and distorted, and a bit doubled. There was also a loud white noise that sounded like some kind of demonic language, and occasionally words could be pulled out of it but they didn't have any meaning. I was lying on my back so it was hard to look too far down, but I saw the same skinny demon spirit from the dream standing at the end of my bed, staring at me with those evil eyes. Hey there, specter. I reached out a fantasy arm to him (as my real one was still quite paralyzed), and I felt my imaginary limb twist and bend along with the rest of the energy in the room. The demon just stared at me longer and I tried to give him an "Aw, come on." type of face, but then it all faded away and I was just lying in bed normally. Too bad, I would've liked to see where that could've gone. >w<

This one is really bugging me. I can't figure out for the life of me whether this is an old dream that has reoccurred or just my brains re-enactment of a movie I saw a long time ago, but it seems so familiar. (and no, it's not I Am Legend)

Zombies and Vampires And Mutants, Oh My!
Non-Lucid: I had remembered more of this dream when I woke up, but I procrastinated and now only remember some scenes. The earliest I can remember is being in a run down house. It was mid-day, with me were 4 or 5 other people, at least two of them were women. At my side stood Roland Deschain (from the Dark Tower series by Stephen King, if you're familiar with it) or some character like him. Inside this old, abandoned shack we made a plan. You see, recently the town had been overrun with some kind of virus, or mutation. The world had moved on and we were getting ready to go with it. We had a plan now.

West of this little dusty rundown shack was a car garage, and west of that was some kind of forge or factory. The gunslinger next to me would run to the car garage and get a car working while the rest of us would run to the factory. and so we did.

The factory turned out to be a small industrial building, it sat in the center of a fairly large, empty plane of pavement surrounded by a brown wooden fence that was seeing it's final days. The four or five of us, two women, one white with short blonde hair, the other black also with short hair that was black. The two or three men I fail to remember. The building has large doors on each side favoring the far side of the building, big enough to let a bus enter. Inside it the floor is flat, and on the left it promptly slopes up onto another level the was 2-3 feet higher that ground level.

As soon as we enter the little building (about the size of a small hangar if that helps you put it into perspective) the horde of zombie-vampire-mutants arrived. We sealed the doors, short haired blonde was yelling orders. The short but wide dust coated windows, were blocked out from the light by the spider-like creatures. Short haired blonde and the black women are now brandishing machine guns (I couldn't tell you the exact type). The door I was facing was immediately blown open despite the barricades placed. one or two people go down, and we book it back to the car garage where the gunslinger waits for us to get in.

I hop in the car, short blonde hair does as well, but the other 2-3 don't make it. The car is dusty, the interior was home to brown leather seats and the rest was black. The windows were almost entirely darkened from the afternoon light as a result of the mutant-zombie-ninja-turtles hugging the crap out of the car. We take off, dream ends.

As a side note, I had a dream that I was on Whose Line Is It Anyway, it was fun and a shame I can't remember it.

I had alot of dreams on and off last night and early this morning, because I was sleeping a bit uneasy for some reason. I think it was the light from my laptop, which I ordinarily don't take into the bedroom (but I wanted to watch Linkin Park videos before bed).

I'll go into all the non lucid details later, but I wanted to start with the DILD. Most of my dreams occurred in the same room: a kind of mix between my college dorm room, and a hotel room. I had a false awakening, accompanied with some spooky vibrations type sensations (the kind I usually get when something scary is about to happen). Some voice warned me about 2 hell hounds that were about to come get me. I was scared at first, but as soon as I got out of bed, I started to question if this was a dream. Then they appeared: 2 little shih-tzu type dogs, and they just flew through the air and went all rabid on my left hand. I instantly knew this was a dream, based on similar attacks in my previous FAs, and went from scared to just annoyed. I was shaking my left hand really hard, trying to dislodge their teeth from my flesh. When ever I would get one off, the other would fly to my hand and lock on again. After a couple attempts, I was able to pull them both off by their tails, then I grabbed them both by the neck with the same hand until they stopped writhing. I looked at them in the eyes and said "I am going to attempt the basic task now, and you two are going to calm the fuck down." I've handled bigger and stronger demons than this before, so they just went limp in my hand, and shrunk down to the size of kittens. I lay them down softly on the bed and pet their bellies. The evilness had gone and now I was free to do the task. I remembered immediately to drink a potion, since this was my third attempt this month so I guess it was on the forefront of my mind. I looked around quickly, and on the end table next to the bed was what looked like my entire collection of nail polish bottles. I picked one up, willing it to turn into a potion bottle or something, but nothing happened. I thought to myself, "There's no way I'm drinking a bottle of nail polish, even in a dream." I wanted something better, so I was rummaging through the bottles, knocking some over, when I noticed one of the bottles was somewhat bigger than the normal nail polish sized. I picked it up and it was half-full of a liquid that looked just like listerine. Oh well, better than nail polish haha. I went to the mirror and looked at myself, I didn't look like myself at all, more like an extra tan version of a Kardashian sister. I took the lid off the bottle, and hoped my subconscious would make the contents into a potion, and not mouth wash, though I was doubtful. I took a swig, and the flavor was amazing! It tasted like minty white chocolate, and really smooth and creamy. More like, a melted white chocolate ganache. By far the best dream flavor I ever had, it seemed even more intense than a real life flavor, and that's never happened to me before with anything other than visions and sounds. I was hopeful, but still doubtful that it would do anything. Funny how I can be doubtful and it doesn't matter. I stared at my reflection, and I noticed a wound appear on the side of my nose, on my cheek, and on my chin, all on the left side of my face. They looked like little spots that had gotten really chapped and red, with flaky skin. Then something came out of them, and the best way I can describe this, is that it was kind of like an anti-tattoo. Instead of an ink-colored pattern, it was white, and it began to spread from each of the wounds, decorating my entire face. The design looked like tiny little white thorny vines, coiling around every square inch of my face, with little white roses, and white leaves, until my face was half tanned skin and half thorny vine tattoo. It was really kinda cool looking! It didn't spread beyond my face, so I guess it was done. So I got up and went to the door, hoping that I would stay in the dream long enough to do the advanced task! I got greedy. I went out the door, and the door just across the hall had just opened, and people were filing out. These people looked like they had just finished rehearsing a play or opera, because they were decked out in renaissance costumes. I eyed the group, hoping to find one that could actually be an alien (forgetting completely that it wouldn't have counted as the advanced TOTM because I was still on earth). Then a guy that looked like the lead role, dressed to the nines in a royal blue nobleman costume, made eye contact with me. Loooong, super sexy eye contact. He looked like he recognized me. I just batted my eyelashes and flashed my best smile, and he continued down the hall. I lost lucidity at that point, and the dream phased into a stupid story about Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise's divorce.

I've been keeping my guard up since I've started, it's no surprise to me really, I just find it kind of funny that I happen to have toys and action figures as one of my dream signs. It's either toys or cartoon characters that still hold a spot as my dream signs. As for Master Mind's technique, I'm getting better recall, and I'm still seeing the transition from one dream to the next. In fact, I had a bad night the previous night because of heat. But I see another trend starting to form. I always knew it was there but I could never put the two dreams together, the transition would sever them and keep me from ever putting the two dreams together in relation to plot, only bits and pieces would come up, if I was even lucky to have that. So now I got one month to go, and as a reminder to my future self, should I get discouraged if I'm not happy with where I'm at: Set another 2 months and try again! It's summer! You hate Summer! If you get discouraged then just know you'll do better toward the Fall and Winter seasons.

Italic Text = Personal Thoughts
Normal Text = Non-Lucid Segment
Light Purple Text = Partially Lucid Segment
Purple Text = Lucid Segment

I was at a mall, and I was supposed to be shopping with somebody but they ditched me so I was wandering around trying to find something interesting to do. I came across this ice-cream parlour with all kinds of different tubs of ice-cream. I opt for the cookie dough ice-cream and walk away, trying to find my friend.

I open up my ice-cream and realise that it wasn't quite filled to the top, and of course this is unacceptable so I go back to the parlour and look around for a tub that's sufficiently filled. Whilst looking around, this woman jumps up on the table and starts chanting something, I can't recall what it was but it was freaky enough to scare everyone else away. I was too intent on finding my ice-cream to care about it too much.

I'm searching through all these ice-creams, trying out all the different flavours as I went. I was quite fond of the orange-vanilla flavoured pink icecream, with a layer of chocolate marshmallow underneath. The vividness of flavour for a non-lucid was pretty impressive.

At one point, I suddenly just enter a low level of lucidity and know I'm dreaming, but I'm still too involved in the dream. The woman who was chanting begins screaming "My boobs are going to explode into the ice-cream tubs!" and this causes the remainder of the people to run away and I'm just standing here eating my ice-cream. She starts laughing as her boyfriend comes in and they celebrate that they've successfully scared everyone away and now they can freely steal the remaining ice-cream without being caught.

It starts getting really weird. I walk up to the two people and, being enthralled that everything is a creation of my imagination and still being in a low level of lucidity, I start feeling their hair and being amazed at how realistic the sensations were. They don't seem to care that I'm randomly brushing my hand through their hair, they don't even acknowledge my presence. Soon enough they just start having sex, right there in the ice-cream parlour.

I go to walk out of the shop, when I'm stopped by this man wearing a "Manager" badge. He yells at us, and we're all teleported out of the shop. Thankfully, the people who started having sex were now fully dressed. I'm somewhat angry at them for getting me teleported out when I did nothing wrong, so I levitate them into the air and try to throw them forward, but when I look up after levitating them, they had disappeared!

I flew up to look for them, figuring they had just gone over this hill, but they were nowhere to be found.

For some reason at this point my consciousness has a bump, and I want to try recalling waking memories. As soon as I start trying to recall, the dream fades and I wake up.

I was with my mom as she was cleaning out an old cupbard. She scoots out this very large jar. It's filled with this clear liquid that looks like water. I ask her what it is. She has a funny look on her face like she's not sure if she should tell me. Then finally she starts telling me how in the 50's they had invented this anti gravity liquid, but it wasn't very well known, and it was soon banned and made very illegal. But here she still had jar that held about 5 gallons. I asked her if I could try it. She finally agreed, if I was careful.

I poured about a quart's worth in a gallon ziplock bag. I rolled up the end and held it against me. I jumped to test it out. Since I didn't have too much, I still was experiencing gravity, but to a lesser degree. I jumped a few more times testing how much gravity I was experiencing. I then ran at the wall and ran up it a few steps then flipped over into a back flip. It felt so awesome. I suddenly felt so happy. I was finally going to be able to do things I had never been able to do before. I did the jump flip several more times. I wondered if this would help me to be able to learn how to do them when I didn't have the liquid with me. I felt it would since I now knew how these flips felt and that I had the confidence of having completed some.

I went back to my mom and told her how wonderful this stuff was. I couldn't believe that this stuff had been invented and that no one was using it. I begged her to let me take at least this bag with me. I could tell she was reluctant. But then I threw out, "But Mom, just think, I will never get stuck in a slot canyon again. I will be able to more safely climb....anything. Think of how this would help me out."

I knew she was so worried about how illegal this stuff was. But I asked her, "Who in the world would be looking in my backpack for that? No one would ever know. Pleeease..."


I think I woke up before I ever got a real answer from my mom.

Dream One(Fragment): I was in a tangle of bodies. I think they were Band aids from Almost Famous. WE were just laying down and singing Pendulum songs, lol.

Dream Two: I'm with My bff Ambies. She's eating cup cakes with yellow and green frosting. Sudden;y she starts acting funny and I think she's been brainwashed by these cupcakes. I wish that where ever the cupcakes were made was destroyed to that no one else could get brain washed. I see it happen on a nearby tv, a cupcake factory blowing up. Ambies gets up and leaves, and then I take the wrappers and the left over cup cake and start to throw it away. Then I think better of it and instead glob the frosting off the remaining cupcake and use it to write a message on a tray. I can't remember what the message said, but it was for my mom so she'd know to reverse engineer whatever was in the cupcakes and find a cure for Ambies. Suddenly the house goes dark and the tv starts flickering. I go into the living room to find the tv isn't even on. The flicker is coming from flashlights out the window. A group of guys in suits like Agents from the Matrix burst through the door. One of then starts walking lazy circles around me and talking to me about my involvement in blowing up the cupcake factory. He wants to know where the cupcakes are and I tell hi I don't know. He tells me they can't find a cure for Ambies without the cupcakes. I finally decide to just let him have the frosting and message meant for my mom to look at. My mom suddenly shows up and she's with him. The promise to find a cure for Ambies. I wake up.

I've been off my game for the last few weeks. I've been needing pain medications that I suspect are messing with my REM sleep. I also had my sister staying with me for a while after some guys broke into her place in broad daylight while she was home, which seems to have influenced this dream.

I'm in an unfamiliar room -- it reminds me of the backstage area of a theater -- with several girls. One of them seems to be the leader of the group. She presents me with a bunch of fake IDs and says she has a fake phone number which I can use to check messages online. I check the first fake ID, which is a driver's license from my state, and I notice it looks nothing like the real driver's license. I take my own license out to show her what it's supposed to be like. I wonder if she can even reproduce something that looks realistic enough since they started adding holograms to the real licenses.

While trying to show this girl my license, I follow her down a flight of stairs and find myself in someone's very large mansion. My sister is here, packing up to leave for college. The mansion belongs to a friend's parents, and all of her friends seem to have gathered to here to see her off. My sister and I talk a little bit while we walk through a living room filled with jewelry displays -- nothing fancy, more like costume jewelry. She tells me that she send me a religious medallion in the mail, but I don't remember getting anything in the mail. She then points to a necklace on one of the displays, and it turns out to be the medallion she sent me. I look at it fairly closely, trying to make out the face of the saint, but I can't make out the details.

I need to use the bathroom, but there's no separate bathroom in this house. Instead, there's a toilet sitting out in the open in the marble foyer. I think I can quickly use it and be done before anyone notices, but it seems my digestive system has issues. I end up taking a very long time on the toilet while everyone comes out of the other room, wondering about the noise.

And it's time for my sister to leave. As I exit the mansion through the front door, I find that the main entrance is actually on the second level. It's a long walk down some steps to ground level. To the side is the driveway, which looks more like a small parking lot. Here, my sister is packing things into her car. I start making my way down there, but there are more steps than I realize. As I get down to the ground level, I see my sister driving off. I'm really disappointed that she didn't wait for me to say good-bye.

Then I notice a lot of scruffy-looking men in dirty clothes are hanging around the end of the driveway. One of them growls and approaches me, seeming to be more wild animal than human. They're werewolves! I realize all the friends that where here with me earlier have vanished. I race back up the stairs with the werewolf chasing me. There's a few times I can even feel his teeth as he tries unsuccessfully to bite me.

I make it back to the entrance, but now instead of the mansion's front door, I find an elevator. I jump in and hit any button to get away from here. I'm hoping that I hit the right button to get into the mansion, but instead, I'm taken one level down to servants quarters. But I'm not safe here because apparently the werewolves work in the building! I race through the hallways, trying to find a way back into the living areas of my friend's mansion. Eventually, I run into my friend's mother, who leads me to a staircase and sends me upstairs.

The staircase actually takes me to the foyer of my own house. I also seem to have a Game Boy in my hands that I don't remember picking up. It's about time I got myself to bed, but first, I want to check that the house is locked up for the night. I go to check the front door and find it sitting wide open. Even the screen door is sitting open. Anyone could have come in here while I was distracted, even the werewolves if they followed me home! I rush to shut and lock the door, but there's a problem. The key I normally keep in the deadbolt is gone. In its place is a little bike key which doesn't even fit in the lock. I scramble to get my own key from my purse so I can lock the deadbolt. But I'm worried about what happened to that other key. If the werewolves took it when they sneaked into the house, then I won't be safe here. I debate searching the house for intruders vs. calling the police. Eventually, I decide to make sure the door to the garage is locked and secure before doing anything else. The garage is dark, and I can't see if any werewolf is hiding in there. I shut the door, which still has a key in the deadbolt so I can easily lock it. However, instead of the normal wood door, this door looks more like a heavy freezer door. I start worrying what to do about any werewolves hiding upstairs and wake up.

The first thing I remember is being in some sort of military base full of hostile soldiers. It is outside, with many covered buildings, all with large windows. The overall feel of the base is quite futuristic, it reminds me a lot of a game called Planetside 2. The dream is hazy, but I remember fighting the soldiers along side a friendly figure, and attempting to pick up a large (and again quite futuristic) mini-gun dropped by an enemy soldier. At this point the feeling of being helplessly cornered sets in, and the shear amount of soldiers seems to triple.

I then have a false awakening, and immediately find myself in a room talking to two other people (still quite hazy, cannot really recall the people, only that I was talking to 2 people.). The conversation immediately turns to dreaming, and lucid dreaming. I begin talking about how I was sharing my dream via BitTorrent, and how all dreams have to go through the BitTorrent client.

This is where my dream ends and I awake for real. Slightly annoyed that I was talking about dreaming and LD's in my dream but didn't pick up on it.

I can only remember traveling to some old man's house, and then he gave me something to eat that made me sick, and I went to his bathroom and threw up in his toilet.

Oh what a special dream

Non-lucid visit with a ghost (B. Stewart). Somewhere where there are many people milling about. I see the ghost and we start talking. I tell him that I know he is dead. He smiles at me and says he is always here, watching over the guys. He gives me a lot of advice about life and says that he will just be "over there" sitting in the orange chair (like a stadium seat - sitting out in the open of this courtyard type setting), whether I can see him or not - he will be there. Such a friendly, loving, smile and hug. We talk about his son and his wife.

Later on in the dream - a different day perhaps - I return to the busy courtyard and I don't see him. I turn to the empty orange chair (about 15 ft away) and wave hello. A plastic hand that was on the arm rest waves back to me and I know it is him. Comforting.

Dream switches to being on a plane with my brother on our way to South Africa. There is no roof on the plane and I had to keep my hands on my headphones to keep them from flying off of my head. We end up at someone's house - there are pillars around the pool.

Themes: We Will Never Leave You - Leave No Doubt