non-lucid

I am forced to stay at a haunted house. Part of the torture is knowing it's haunted and having to walk there, alone, through the dark and scary woods. I see a blur of ghost fly by me on his way to the house, he's moaning loudly. A friend brings some sturdy looking doors, because apparently the house has none, it's very old and decayed. I really don't know how the doors are supposed to help me against ghosts, but even so I am really disappointed when the doors don't fit the house at all. He makes an attempt to try to make them fit, finding whatever he can around the place, but eventually I tell him not to bother, and he leaves.

During the course of the night I am aware that I will be attacked by a host of all different kinds of ghosts, one after the other. There is a type of introduction going on, where all the ghosts present themselves and their abilities. During this presentation I am made aware that there is a special space of air, complete with floating mattress, above the house. In this area I have an advantage, a small shred of safety. The ghosts can still reach me and attack me there, but I can change aspects of them with my willpower when I am in that space.

The night begins and I, of course, flee to the mattress immediately. I don't know how I got up there. The first ghost attacks. He is extremely terrifying, so much so that my mind cannot identify all of his form, only aspects of it. One aspect is that he is very old looking, but beyond any human concept of the look of age. Another aspect is that he is covered in putrid looking slime. Another aspect is that he has an extremely large... member, which he announces he's going to tear me in two with.

There is no time to panic, I simply try to begin changing aspects. I start with changing him from old to young... and the dream ends.

April 16, 2011

Notes
Went to bed at half past 1 am, woke up at 9:30am, 11:30am, finally 12:00 then 12:30. Multiple dreams, managed to remember quite a few by scribbling down a couple words every time I woke up and by just laying in bed as long as I wanted. Motifs of school, foreboding, places I used to live and people I used to know.

Entry 004

I'm at school, but it's not really like my school. It's a huge, blocky building with hallways opening up to the outside, palm trees at every corner, and a courtyard just behind the front gates with a huge swimming pool in the center. It's test day. For some reason, I'm alone, taking a single test by myself. It feels like the last day of the school year. The test is really hard, but I'm slowly making my way through it. Burnett and Burell come and check on me, I finish and hand my test to Burnett.

As I'm leaving, I walk into the courtyard with the pool. A bunch of students are there, swimming and goofing off. Octavia sees me, and comes over. She has a bike with her. For some reason, she wants to sit on the handlebars while I ride the bike through the school. As we're going through the empty hallways, I catch glimpses of Burnett and Burell in classrooms, looking utterly desolate. I'm not really sure why. Octavia has to go somewhere, it's some important holiday like New Year's Eve only in the summer. I peddle out to the front and she gets off, leaves.

--

I'm at some kind of house party. Everyone is all dressed up and drinking heavily, some are even passed out. I'm walking through the house, stepping over people unconscious on the floor, others who are dancing or making out. I'm in a beautiful dress that comes to my mid-thigh, wearing high heels, with my hair curled and make-up on my face. It's very unlike me. As I'm walking through, I see someone bent over a computer to my right, looking like he's going to cry. It's Burnett. When I ask him what he's doing, he says "It's not something I can talk to you about,". Then, suddenly, he turns the computer off, starts laughing and hands me a drink. He says something like, "I'm not responsible for you anymore!" I take the drink, then another, then another...

--

There is a beautiful painting on the wall of a Victorian lady in an elegant outfit. I'm looking at it from down a hallway with stained, peeling wallpaper, and a light which is flickering above. Every time I look at the portrait, it changes. I hear myself whimpering pathetically. I'm scared.

--

I'm in my old neighborhood. I'm standing outside my house, though it's not the same as our old house, and it's dark outside. It's some kind of important holiday. We're counting down until midnight. I go to Sarah's house right around the corner, we hang out like we're good friends. I see some of the other neighborhood kids, we're all having fun together, looking up at the sky. My grandparents have come. My mom is yelling for me to come inside, and I do, but I can't stay long. The atmosphere in the house is like the night before Christmas, forced to sit and watch news reruns for hours with my grandparents. It's too oppressive, I'm making up any excuse to get out.

--

There's a dusty truck parked in the dirt parking lot, underneath an oak tree. It looks so familiar here. I turn around, I'm at some place half like a church, half like a convention center. I'm not sure which it is. A couple of people I vaguely recognize as old acquaintances come out with a tall redhead girl in between them. She's crying, she's drunk, and she's a mess. She's dressed up like all of us are, as though we just came back from homecoming or something, and her mascara is running down her face in black streaks. She gets in the truck, pulls back, sobs something to us out her window and drives away, kicking up the dust underneath her wheels.

I awaken for the final time.

Ronas house

I was at an old girl friends house--RR's. She and her mother love the ocean and the mountains in waking life.
In the dream, they had a water-fall in the back yard. It was gorgeous.

The house became a party house. Snoop Dogg was there. I went outside and there was an Amusement park
outside. I saw Dr. Seuss characters, though none looked exactly right. One was a modified Cat in the Hat.

Back in the house I was given ear ring parts and other small items to divy up when I was told
it would be "$300 or 400 for the night." I wasn't expecting that. No wonder
Snoop would be there. He could afford it. Then I seemed to remember that I
had been made aware it would be that much to stay there, and you only go to
stay the night. It wouldn't matter if you left early, you still have to pay
the full night amount.

A friend was at a pool behind the house. Someone was explaining how we had the view of the waterfall.
There were these industrial ramps or something, but someone had cracked the skull and
the ramp that would have blocked our view was never rebuilt.

I went walking outside and saw a strange mechanically moving ornament in the tree. It had gears and wheels that turned.
It was very intricate.

Then my friend jumped in the pool and started talking to some guys over a wall. I checked it out
and saw them. They were rude, so I said something ugly to them.

Later, in the hall of the house, a huge guy with a strange build--long torso and long arms, strong, came up to me and said something provocative.
I pushed the guy to show I was not afraid. He pushed me harder. He looked like he would have kicked my ass.
I punched him lightly. I told him I could hit him hard, but I didn't see it coming to any good end. Why fight.
I wasn't being afraid. I just got to feeling like fighting wasn't the answer. I admitted to him it appeared he
could kick my ass, but that wasn't the reason I didn't want to hit him.

Dream Skip

I turned into a large, white room. It looked so barron. I said, "This is like jail...or heaven!" Then I was eating blueberry sherbert with someone. It was very blueberry, though kind of gummy. At first the person I was with liked it, then not so much. I couldn't understand what was not to like about the rich blueberry!

Dream Skip

I had tickets to something. I decided I wanted to take someone else to the event.
The friend i was taking had to go to Japan for a Japanese language test so he couldn't
go. I told my other friend whom I don't know in waking life that he could go.

I was looking at houses for sale. I went oven a hill and jumped it the way I did
in a recent dream. I was in some kind of shopping cart or something. I had to balance
the cart in the air so I didn't fall forward.

There was more to it, but it is foggy. I wanted to go back up the road, but the jump
was harder to traverse the other way.

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID UNDERLINED IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

Walking with someone in a town I where I used to live.. I realized I needed to go back to my old house. I told them and walked the opposite way. The parting was kind of difficult.

I realized I was walking the round-about way to the house, picturing the map.

I started to approach a place I had worked (had to walk by it) I didn’t want them to know I was back, to think I’d stay. An old coworker walked out of the building. She looked beautiful in an unconventional way. I turned my head, wondered how to avoid her recognizing me. I thought about just walking past. I dropped my files [on purpose?]. I squatted to pick them up. She came over and we talked about me coming back to work. She said I should make sure to let “her”, the director, know that I wouldn’t be staying indefinitely. She stressed it.

I saw her words as written text, up close like they were the only thing in the world. I zoomed in further. A word or two related to what she was stressing were highlighted and bold and underlined [green or red or purple? Maybe all, seemed it changed color] I came back [or was it parallel?] to picking up the folders. There was one that was particularly important and the way it was stacked relative to the rest was of importance. I wasn’t sure how I should hold them again.

I felt trapped into the job, but also like I wanted to work there. I felt confused about what I was doing, why I was in this town again, where I was going after.

I was playing MC, can't remember much that happened, but I ended up practically becoming part of the game.

---

Bleh, looks like I forgot all of today's dreams

My LD: Was getting chased by some weird tings and I was like wtf fam and I realized this cant be real. I didnt stabiliize tho and dream only lasted bout 20secs.
Non LD: Was mountaineering with ma mates and all of ma mates apart from me got hit by an avalanche. It was my fault as I triggered it. One of the peepz had his leg amputated and blood was everywhere and everyone was puking Lollz. Then I went into a room full of peepz having a faag and I was like where the fuck am I. I must be dreaminggggg and I was like "I could stabilise and go lucid" but I cba and decided to wake up instead.

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID UNDERLINED IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

Spoiler for Past Related Dreams and History:

History

A new experience dreaming the other night. It gave me hope even though I woke in fear. It also prompted me to get off my butt and finally join a forum that discusses such things. First, a little history.

In the past I’ve had a reoccurring dream of family members and others trying to kill me. One repeated every year it seemed, starting at the age of about 8 and ending (at least consciously) around 18. In this dream a calm and intense voice announced to me that my family was turning into monsters. I ran from them. My father chased me (the chase scenes varied significantly, thought it seems that they were always outside of my grandmother’s house, where the dream started). Sometimes I got away, sometimes I fell, and there was one time I thought I experienced death before I woke up. The dreams filled me with terror.

Other similar dreams have often occurred, the main theme being that someone is stalking me and I am aware that they wanted to kill me. Sometimes I’d confront them. Most times it would be an endless hiding and running deep fear experience. Sometimes it was a combination of both. I’ve experienced other variations of this type of terror dream, often including sharks (in college), tornadoes, and tidal waves.
Usually when I wake the consuming fear and sadness and loneliness from these dreams is so very present, infusing me to some extent throughout the day no matter how much I process and release it. It can be exhausting. Ok, pretty much done with the history.


Recent History

A couple nights ago a terror dream was different than other experiences. I haven’t been remembering my dreams as often in the recent past (I started to type recent future, lol). I had meditated right before sleeping with binaural audio that also incorporates other meditation-inducing aspects. It was a pretty deep meditation and a lot more emotional pain than usual came up, but I was largely able to hold the discomfort in a larger awareness and release happened as well. I fell asleep.

Nightmare with Lucid Meditation

The terror dream was a series of people trying to kill me. Each chapter seemed to occur in my current home or a similar one.

One instance was a psychological death of sorts, where someone wanted me to admit something I’d done that hurt them but I knew that if they knew it would hurt them more than if I didn’t tell them. I felt ashamed. As they tried to dig it out of me tears ran down my face and I avoided looking into their eyes. I think I explained to them at one point that I couldn’t tell them or they would be more hurt. I was conflicted and I’m not sure I held my ground (I think the dream changed at that point).

The dream continued, one person trying to kill me, the dream morphing, then another person trying to kill me, and so on. They were sneaky, some trying to lull me into feeling comfortable with them. It didn’t work. I knew. I resisted. After a few chapters in the dream, I became aware that I was dreaming. In this lucid state I tried different tactics.

1. Dream Control

I tried what I now know to be called dream control. Tried to turn my stalker away, tried to make them friendly, tried to make it not be about being stalked. That wasn’t as “successful” as the tactic has been in other lucid dreams I've had.

2. Wake

I tried to wake myself. In the dream I had access to my real memories: I recalled that I’d woken myself from a nightmare as a young child, maybe 5 years old, after frantically trying to wake in the dream and having no success. This is how I remember it. I became aware of my physical body in my bed. I tried to open my eyes. Felt my eyebrows raising, my lids stretching, but they stayed together. I tried to move my arms. They were heavy, they wouldn’t move. Then my shoulders responded. Finally my arms moved. I reached up and opened my eyes with my hands and woke like that…my fingers on my eyelids, having pulled them apart manually.

Remembering the success of this childhood experience, I attempted this tactic in my dream last night while lucid. It failed. Throughout using these wake-myself-up-please tactics,

I would think I had awakened only to find out I was still in the dream. I became identified with the dream and then lucid and aware I was dreaming (usually because I had a new stalker or less often because something else wouldn't be the same as in my home) again over and over after each failed attempt.

First I tried to wake myself by simply willing it, then throwing a large amount of the energy of my desire to wake into it.

Then I tried to feel my body in my bed, to establish a connection like I thought I had in childhood. It seemed that I could feel my body and that I woke. This was the first time I thought I'd woken up but after I “woke” myself I soon discovered I was being stalked again and had not escaped the dream.

Then I tried to not only feel my body but to move my body, however, I found I wasn’t very coordinated and I was flailing. I became afraid of hurting myself or spilling my water on my nightstand, etc.

The cycle of thinking I had awoken and then realizing I was still in the dream (I think called false awakenings?) came full circle at least 3 times, though in my not completely clear recollection it feels like it was more like 4 to 6 times.

3. Lucid Meditation

At one point I tried to meditate in the dream, hold the dream and the fear of the dream in the arms of my awareness so that I wasn’t so self-identified with it and terrified. This was the new accomplishment. A big one. I don’t think it lasted long, maybe a couple minutes.

I’ve been in different meditative states in many dreams, but this one was intentionally, lucidly, induced. Even though it was a meditation initially infused with the desire to escape from the emotions, I'm still goanna break out with a yay! I came to a place where I wasn’t hiding or trying to wake up. I was confronting in an accepting way while still trying to protect myself.

The meditation did not relieve the fear but I felt more me, more whole. At first the fear was very present and perhaps more so. It seems that the fear ebbed to some degree after a time. I remember looking down on my body during the meditation. The dream also may have gone to black and white during the meditation and got a static quality to it, like white noise. I don't remember ever dreaming in black and white, though now that I look back I don't recall any color in the dream at any point. I am skeptical of it not being in color, however, because now it is days since the dream occurred and I only remember snippets. After the short meditation is when I fuzzily think I woke.

I don't remember the sequence of the following parts of the dream. I'm about 90% sure I wasn’t lucid at the time:

I felt physical pain when one stalker was biting my lips. The physical pain felt so…well…physical. It hurt in a sharp way, just as if my dream body was a physical one. That realization is unsettling and also wondrous. Now I realize that both of the times I have been aware of physical pain in dreams was when I was being bitten. Both dreams were at some point lucid dreams, but not lucid at the time that I was being bitten. The other time was a dog biting my fingertips. Now I’m interested in this…why biting? Perhaps this similarity is connected to a pattern, perhaps not. Worth keeping an eye on it and a thought hanging around.

I tried to manipulate the people out of trying to kill me. I plotted quickly as they advanced. One of the people I offered myself to sexually to try to avoid being killed, to distract him. It worked. It was boring and rather ineffectual sex and I ended up feeling frustrated because I wanted more pleasure, even though I was creeped out and scared.

Well, that was long. I doubt I'll want to use the energy to write so much in the future (or try to refine the clarity of my writing so much, gah), but this dream absolutely fascinated me and I felt reconnected to past dreaming experiences after dry spells and inattention. It woke the inspiration.

I think a big part of why it waned was nobody I shared these types of dreams with had similar experiences or seemed to want to dive in. But after reading some of the forum, wow, some of you not only have had similar but extensive experiences. Thanks for reading, I'm interested in learning from others on this site if you want to respond! That said, I also have a very skeptical side and enjoy critical and insightful discussion, though it is tempered by many other sides.

Very hectic week so my recall has been low, this is the 13/04/11 dream fragment. Nothing from the 14.

All I can remember was being in Ireland with some of my friends and it was pouring with rain.

1. I'm running away from a castle, and try to trip up my pursuers by using magic to do things like switch the outfits of two competing factions of guards. I think I ran into Legolas at some point.

2. I'm trying to escape from a school building by crawling through air vents and windows. Somewhere in the surrounding town, I meet a version of myself with magic powers in a dark tunnel full of fake roses.

3. Autocunnilingus?

4. Running away from a former classmate who's trying to force himself on me. I throw a basketball cage at him.

5. Playing on a tree-swing. I watch an owl in the branch above me catch and start eating a duck.

6. I'm in a room full of drawers of stuff. I decide for some reason that I must be dreaming, and do the nose-pinch-breath-test to check. Of course, once I realize I'm dreaming, things get all vague and unstable, so I start touching everything - books with embossed covers, polished rocks, a stone knife (which I cut my thumb on and had to go find a band-aid). I think I got so obsessed with touching objects that I forgot it was a dream again. -_-'

After watching a Glee/Skins (UK) outdoor concert there was a mass of people gathered. At least one hundred people were dancing in formation amazingly. We asked a guy what was going on and he just swore at us then said it'd cost 5 bucks and laughed. I told him very matter-of-factly that was the worst joke I ever heard and asked if it was really necessary to swear at us. He got pissed! He surrounded me with 3 of his friends and at this time I'm lying down like in bed. I imagine fighting the 3 guys and do. Then I 'wake up' but it's not quite a false-awakening because I don't remember ever thinking I was asleep, just, the next thing I know I'm walking down the stairs of my house.

The front door is open and I check the screen door to see if it's locked by opening it, it wasn't locked. I wonder why it was open. Is someone inside the house? The TV is on, some weird anime is playing where the wise man/narrator keeps repeating "He sleeps and he sleeps and he sleeps" over and over, like some kind of gag-joke". I should've realized then, that was a BIG clue as to what was going on. Some of the lights were on throughout the house. The backdoor into the kitchen was open too and wind blows in through the screen. I am SO confused at this point, what's going on here? Why did I go to bed and leave the house like this? At this moment everything gets incredibly vivid and reality is kicked up a notch. That's when I start to wonder, 'maybe this is a dream!'. I try to move some tumbleweed stuff that blew in from the door with my mind. I got it to move one way, then the other so I'm pretty sure it wasn't just the wind. Just then my phone rings in waking life and I wake up.

Waking up felt like a teleportation of consciousness from the dream body to the one that was lying in my bed, newly awaken.

This dream is notable for being the first one where I was actually confused by things in the dream. Even though I didn't reality check for a long time, all of my lucid dreams so far have not involved RCs. Usually I just become lucid like a light switch has turned on. So I think this dream was a step in the right direction.

So, this dream was quite vivid, and though none to exciting it was still enjoyable and actually quite relaxing. I woke up right after the dream, 3am, thinking "Well, that was a pleasant dream."

So, the dream starts out located in a larger town. I am outside walking down the sidewalk with the road to my left, grass to my right with houses lined about 20 meters over and occasional planted aspens every couple meters.
I was walking and came across my mum who was telling some childhood story about crushing a cockroach. I was just thinking, "but it is impossible to kill cockroaches!" When this good 4-5 inch long cockroach comes crawling across the pathway, apparently wanting revenge for being stepped on by my mum. My mum continues to step on the cockroach as I watch, and she ends up with a good jump crushing its head (somehow). It sits for a second, un-flattens then crawls into the grass and I state, "See? Impossible to kill cockroaches!"

At this point my mom disappears and the sun barely starts setting. I see someone's driveway and walk up it for some reason, noticing this HUGE tree that looks very climbable (The kind of tree where there are branches 1-3 feet in diameter). I think I will grab my little sis so we can "explore" the tree and have a little fun. I run back across the various lawns of houses, coming up to "our house" (which is nothing like our house) where I see my little sis. We also have a big tree so I decide to try climbing it a bit while telling her about the large tree I found. She asks about how big the branches are and I put my arm in a circle (touching my hip) to show her how big, while hanging from our tree by my other hand. She complains it is too small and dangerous to climb, but in the end I convince her to join me.

I random race starts between us towards the tree. At this point the scenery changes and it is in the middle of the day and very vivid. I find as I race my little sis that while running I can simple take REALLY long strides as I sort of hover over the ground as long as my legs are in the "running" position. I am booking at what feels like a good 30-40 miles an hour with my sis keeping up easy. The scenery is lush green grass everywhere, no longer in a town. There are scattered trees on both sides, but mostly it is fields. In front of me quite a few meters ahead the ground drops down in a steep (probably 45 degree) hill. As we approach this steep hill, which goes down a good mile (if not longer) I notice were are barely above and looking down upon many huge mountain ranges below with a blue misty color over them and a bright blue sky with the sun clearly visible. We start racing down the hill at top speed where the dream starts to fade and I wake up.

Not the most exciting dream, but that last part especially was a very nice experience.

Dream - Lucid - AP

I remember having 3 dreams about Katherine last night, but I can only remember a bit of one.

I was with Katherine outside of this movie theater. It was kind of run down. I also remember being inside one of the theaters. Throughout the dream, Katherine was carrying a laptop with her. I also remember a man being with her. He looked older and kind of messy, with messy, shoulder-length dark brown hair and some facial hair.

I remember being in the bathroom with her. She was talking to me as I looked for a stall. I found one, and noticed that there were only 3 walls of the stall, and two toilets in it. I sat down on the toilet. I peed for a long time, still talking to Katherine through the door.

Then, a black girl about my age who was with a white girl walked up. The black girl walked into the stall, which wasn't hard, since there were only 3 walls. This made me think about a comment Rman made on one of my dreams, one I had about being walked in on in a stall. I quickly forgot, however. The black girl looked at me for a minute, and I looked back. I felt kind of intruded upon, but dismissed it since there were only 3 walls, afterall. She started to change her pad while talking to the white girl that was with her.

I then remember talking to Katherine as she was sitting down inside the bathroom. She was on her laptop. I remember wanting to get out of there; wanting to leave, but I tried to be patient. I remember Katherine saying something about someone "stealing something right in front of her face." I started to think about our falling out, and hoped she didn't bring that up, because I was in no mood to argue or fight.

I then remember seeing some theme park behind a building that we were at. The sky looked cloudy, like it might rain. I was surprised that there was a theme park there, and commented on it to Katherine. I also said something about me going to Universal Studios over spring break. She said "Yeah, there's a theme park here!", and then all the sudden we were going down this green water slide with her in front of me.

~

I woke up in my bed, and had to use the bathroom. I was thinking about my dreams. I felt very awake, and I stretched as I entered the bathroom. I tried to turn on the light in the part of the bathroom where the toilet and shower are, and it wouldn't come on. "I bet the other one's out too...", I thought. Then, I tried the main light, where the sinks are. It wasn't working either. "Really?", I said. I still had to use the bathroom, so whatever.

I then tried turning on the light in my room so I could at least have a little light in the bathroom. Only one lightbulb flickered. It was very dim. I then turned on a second light in my room of a second fan that was there. The same thing happened as did with the first fan light. I remember thinking that this would be a good opportunity to try a WBTB, since I felt more awake, and I had been up longer than originally planned.

~

I was at my old apartment. I was in Caitlin's room. She was with our other friend Katie. They were getting ready to go to a party. They asked me to go, and I told them no, I didn't want to. They left.

Then, I was with my friend, Leigh. I was at her house. She told me Caitlin was getting too crazy and drunk at these parties, saying that she was pulling "carnival tricks" or something, trying to pull her eyes out of socket and stuff like that, and going way too far with it; it was becoming very dangerous. I thought about seeing her do that in the past. She also said that it was mostly Caitlin, and Katie was actually not as bad about it.

Then, I asked Leigh if she had any weed. She pointed out a white and grey marbled stone-made pipe that was sitting on a dresser beside a picture frame. She said there was a little left in there. She mentioned something about our friend, Bret. I started to smoke the pipe.

Then, I was riding in the car with Leigh, smoking the pipe still. I looked down into it and noticed it was out; nothing but ashes left, though some looked like they were still burning slightly. I started to feel a little high. I thought about people possibly seeing me smoking in the car, but I didn't seem to care too much, though I tried to stay alert. I was talking to Leigh.

~

I was on stage at my high school's auditorium. I was holding sheet music. I was a first act for some program we were performing. I was singing; rehearsing. The song started with F quarter notes and the words were "Teenie, Teenie" at the beginning. My choir teacher said something about me being intimidated or scared about going first. I honestly thought I would be too, but I didn't feel that bad. I was singing the music, and I sounded pretty good. "Teenie" sounded like a different word as I sang it though, because I was pronouncing it weird. I thought about performing for a crowd as opposed to an empty auditorium. I didn't feel very nervous about it, surprisingly (I get VERY nervous about this kind of thing in waking life).

Then, I remember sitting out in the auditorium, watching a group of 3 sing the next song.

Then, I remember being back up there again, and this time, we were singing to die. It was strange, it was like we were all sick, and we were going to end our lives. There was one alternative that she mentioned that I didn't like (can't remember what), so my teacher suggested another, and gave me a screwdriver I was supposed to sing into and it would rip my skin off as I sang, leaving nothing but bones. I wasn't ready to die yet! I didn't want to do this. I started singing into the weird screwdriver and reading my music. Nothing really happened. I remember seeing some eighth notes on the page.

Instead of killing myself, I decided I just needed to take my dirty clothes off. I started to walk away, taking off my dirty clothes until I was down to my underwear, which I also took off. I threw it all in my hamper.

so i just came from school ad sleeeped like 2 hours

my dreams was only about weed.

i was a dealer so i had weed and rolling joints and dealing to everyone i dont know where it was a weird place
i was with my friends and so at the end i had to go somewhere then my alarm made me wake up ..
i set it back more 20 mins
so i back to the weedy dream and i was trying all the time to go somewhere maybe to smoke weed but i couldnt cus time get fast in my dream and my alarm wakes me up xD... but at the end somehow i finished dealing or so and got my weed pack and went to smoke... from then i just woke up again ...


2 hours sleep

15/04/2011

April 15, 2010

Notes
Went to bed at 11:30pm, woke up 5:30 and hit the snooze till 6. Remembered entire dream without trouble, woke up feeling strangely frustrated without explanation. Motifs of school, travel, searching. Woke up extremely thirsty, carry over of this into dream. Also went to bed in a tight shirt, carry over into dream. Somewhat boring.

Entry 003
I'm in the tan leather seats of the van I come home in everyday, complete with the same driver who has his trademark limited English. For some reason Kevin and Neil aren't there. I get the feeling I've fallen asleep in the car and we've veered way off course. We were supposed to be going home, but I have no idea where we are now.

We stop at one of the typical little bazaars lined with questionable stores. I sift through a couple piles of clothes. I'm looking for a new shirt, my current one is very uncomfortable. I'm wearing a uniform, not quite my school one, but some kind of uniform. I can't find any clothes, so I get back in the van. My shirt is so tight and uncomfortable I start to take it off while still in the van, then suddenly realize how inappropriate that is. I pull my shirt back down, embarrassed having being caught in the middle of a huge lapse in judgement.

When I get home, I go straight to my bedroom and find a bunch of my friends sitting in a circle around my rug. I start to loudly complain to them about a reading assignment in class-- A story about Sir Lancelot. I start to insult the author as if he is still living, while simultaneously being aware that he died in the middle ages. I talk about how he's only 3 feet tall and mock him for being a midget. I have an image in my head of a dwarf in a brown friar's robe and a ring of hair on his otherwise bald head. I pause my rant to try and drink water from an overlarge can, but it's like gravity is holding the water to the bottom of the can. A few drops fall out, but I can't drink no matter how hard I try.

I awaken.

I was in a elevator looking upwards, I suddenly became conscious and was able to think, feel and move. (Not my head, for some reason). I was able to recall that I wasn't supposed to get to excited or else I would wake up... for some reason I had trouble thinking this, as it would repeat in my head. I got excited anyway, and woke up (I think, or I transferred to another dream because I woke up looking at bolts and screws...). Before that I had a dream that I don't consider lucid, because even though I could control myself, I didn't feel "there". I was in a elevator with a friend, and we just escaped by some midgets with guns, the elevator kept going down (To the midgets) and I wanted it to go up, so I remembered a few tactics from this website. I yelled at the top of my lungs "GO UP! I want to go UP!" "What are you doing? I want to go UP!" "This isn't good enough I want to go UP!" It eventually did, but only for a few seconds, like it was teasing me.