Recent DJ Posts

2022 May 2nd

Note to self, at this point I started recording dreams with year first, month second and day third, because as I was archiving dream notes from my old phone, I realised just how much of a mess day first was causing me and it was something I had not given any thought when I first started recording them in that way. In the future, it will be easier to maintain an organised record by using year first, as I already do for some other things.

Some in-line notes.


Dream (Fragmented):

I'm at my old bedroom. Dad is here visiting or something. For some reason, there are some sex toys out in my room and dad grabs them and piles them on top of an old computer desk I used to have in waking life. (The plastic "veneered" one)

Dad doesn't comment much of anything about the sex toys, but I feel embarrassed. He talks to me about something completely unrelated.

(recall gap)

I'm swimming out of a body of water into a stairwell. I can't see the bottom of the water and as I climb out of the water, I'm soaked and dripping. I don't feel cold or hot. My hair is somewhat long and I see it in front of me and feel water dripping off it. The place looks like a school of some kind.

I get up to the first mid-landing of these stairs and then climb some more steps up to a second landing. There are no more stairs after this point, as if they're missing, and so this landing just leads over back into the water again, from a higher point.

(The preceding segment was recalled while dreaming the next segment)

I'm in a field, walking along with two people. One of them is a local, the other someone I know (from the dream?). This field is strange, as it is made up of "strips" about one yard wide of specific plants, which all just seem rather wild and not at all cultivated, despite the organised strip logic going on.

As a result, there's a varied array of colours, ranging from a nearly blue-green to a dry yellow-green or maybe brown. The local man is slim and on the older side. He tells me something about how they have no choice and how this is all they can afford to do. I understand "they" as their people, as if I'm visiting somewhere that I'm foreign to.

Then, as we walk off the slightly sloped field area and starting down on a slightly steeper slope, I notice a small lizard, about a foot long counting the tail. Its on the side of a plant or a piece of dry/dead wood. It has a black scaled body interrupted by fluorescent yellow chevron stripes. The tail is flat and spiney, almost beaver-like.

Then we're walking into a road and I worry about traffic but it doesn't look like there's any, it looks kind of desolate or calm. It's day time, the sun is low but it's not sunset yet and it's half cloudy but it appears bright. There's a road for each direction and they're about twenty to thirty feet away from the other, one of them being on a lower bit, as this whole area is a sort of downwards-sloping cliff seaside cliff area, to the end of which we're walking towards.

As we get closer, even though the lowest point of the cliff is only about one yard up from sea level, I feel afraid I might drop or be pushed into the sea (on accident or otherwise). (It's at this point I recall the previous segment, I think the water must trigger the memory, though I don't think I "live" the memory in the dream at this point)

Then, I'm at a house that looks like old home. Some part of recall is missing, weirdly I seem to have slept on the sofa and it's as if I was really asleep in the dream, for a time. I grab something I'd apparently left on the sofa. I see the old man from before and say "morning" to him. I feel a little disoriented and think to myself that I didn't mean to fall asleep and yet I did somehow.

Then, I'm at an ALDI with H. We drove in in a sporty car. We pretend we're only friends and H says to a checkout person he has to get a massage coupon thing for his partner. The person at the checkout asks "what would she like?" and meanwhile I'm looking for three two-litre bottles of some soft drink, though I can only find one bottle. This ALDI feels more like a tiny service station shop and I think to myself we should have gone to our usual place. (This segment had something to do with the previous one, but I could not retain recall of what or how)

(recall gap)

Something about playing a game with a demon, and needing to do this to release an angel or something. The game doesn't make much sense at all and I can't think of how to describe it; in any case I struggle with this game in the dream. This takes place at some big/vast house, or some kind of palace.


Notes:

- Although I'd normally make this dream only visible to myself and DV contacts and so on, I feel that part of me has done that far too often of late, out of some sense of lack of confidence, an aspect I've been struggling with (again) in waking life.

- This entire dream was very peculiar. I feel I could make this remark about so many dreams. In particular however, this dream felt especially switched on in terms of symbolic representation. When recalling the dream, it feels like some part of me was aware of this. Everything about it feels organised and metaphorical in a deeper way than usual, though I think some of it may be inexpressible through words. The dream itself in parts felt like one of those dreams that feels just like life in the sense of "this is how things are, this is my life". This dream would benefit greatly from a fuller exploration on paper that is not constrained to words alone and that can make directed (lines/arrows) associative links between elements.

- I suspect that dad was representative of false expectations in some sense, because in the dream my embarrassment and the sex toy context were in fact irrelevant to our conversation about whatever else dad talked about. I am not certain what the significance of that desk specifically might be, but I must have been around 8 or 9 years of age when we had that desk, and the computer used communally with my siblings was on top of it, under one of the bunk beds.
-- In a sense, the sex toys are also likely representative of the other side of false expectation; what my mind or feelings give importance to often has nothing to do with how others are perceiving me and if anything, I end up being bound or imprisoned by my own false notions of what others think.
-- The other aspect to this is that family (represented by dad) are something that I keep entirely separate from sexual contexts as far as mental constructs go, I feel more so than most other people do, though that may be a result of upbringing; here, the two contexts meet but are essentially ignored by one another, as dad makes no remark and pays no mind, other than some sort of strange "tidying out of the way", and the toys themselves are inert objects that cannot on their own express anything except via context. This makes me think about how Jung defined libido as "psychic energy" as opposed to "sexual energy" as Freud probably did and it seems like the sex toys can also be representative of a transformation of my point of view on said energies. Again, I cannot fully form thoughts on this via text alone, this requires diagrammatic and drawn exploration that can show links and associations in a way that text can't.

- The flooded school bit was odd because of how vivid it felt in terms of sensations, regarding swimming and water. I don't remember any specific emotions, but the school was an unknown place that I've never visited and which only vaguely conformed to some constructs of schools, none of which I've ever encountered myself.

- I can't help but feel that I associate the encounters with water in this dream as being some kind of metaphor relating to collectives, more so than an unconsciousness. In a sense, the stairs were exactly about this; I can leave a collective but on the way up and out, there's actually no way out, and all I can see again is the collective, despite whatever other aspiration I might have had. There was a (somehow neutral) sense of hopelessness to this in the dream.

- The strange field feels like it was about my whole Self. The locals, i.e. my non-conscious elements, do their best to cultivate other non-conscious elements and so on (the plants) but they are constrained by what they can afford to do. I am not sure what "afford to do" could mean in a sense of personality. The land felt inhospitable to cultivation and taming, and perhaps these non-conscious elements actively taking part in growing and tending to things, are actually unwelcome by the rest of the unconscious landscape. I am checking in on them, but I seem to be there in a capacity that cannot act or make changes to the situation at present, and that any changes would have to be future, such as based on a report or the like.
-- In a sense, the plants felt very much foreign to the land as I did, even if the locals themselves just seemed... Well, local.

- Despite the small size, the lizard felt instantly appealing to look at, to be interested in. The black scaled body felt immediately relatable to what I have wanted to portray in my alter-ego for some time. The chevron striped pattern seemed unique to me. And in some sense I always find myself relating to reptiles though I have seldom spent time near them, perhaps because they have a tendency to run away from humans and to be solitary, which may be part of the appeal in itself. The lizard's tail appeared dangerous but as the lizard was most likely not aggressive, it seemed like an aspect of self-defence only. Curiously, I am now recalling that the lizard seemed to be in shade rather than in sunlight, and it's the only wild animal I recall seeing in the dream.

- The part with H at the service station ALDI definitely feels related to how perceptions are so based on physical appearances and how it's very difficult to move on from this, in cultural terms.

- The game with the demon felt like some kind of mix between Tetris, cards and other games of chance. I really can't describe it, especially for how little visual recall I have left of it. I just remember a somewhat dark and red-hued room, and a cloth-draped table.

This is a non-lucid dream that I had four days ago. I had recalled and recorded other dreams from that day; but this seemed like the most interesting to me.

I was in a large, tall building, sealed off without windows and multiple levels of giant rooms, which I knew to regard as a great kindergarten. That’s what I thought of it as, although it was more like a giant playground, as there were no teachers or supervising adults there - nor were there any other children. I can’t remember my surroundings in good detail but I know that the lighting was fairly bright and the walls were a gold or gold-ish colour. In contrast, imagined play equipment was painted in varying and vibrant colours.

I don't recall actually spending any time playing here; instead, I remember meeting my mum and agreeing with her to go somewhere else in the playground. I didn’t actually realise until just then that there were multiple levels, when we went down the stairs one floor (I think I'd been at the top floor initially) and then looked down and saw that there were still several floors beneath. The structure of the building was such that every floor was built at the edges of the room, with railings at the edges and a hole in the centre of each floor.

Then, I believe we jumped off the ledge, as we skipped all the levels and dropped down to the bottom floor, but with no expectation or reception of injury. The bottom floor was an empty one, save perhaps one piece of furniture and one or two doors. Then I found that I was looking to leave, so I asked my mum where we could leave the kindergarten, even though I already had an idea of where it could be. I thought it was the door – or one of them, as I simply knew which one – in that same room. My mum confirmed that it was the door I was thinking of.

I started walking to the door and going to open it; but as I did so and as it was opened by my mother instead and I saw the outside of the kindergarten palace and she walked out there, I felt taken aback and no longer wanted to leave. The kindergarten as I was there previously felt so warm and safe and insular and childish, reinforced in this sense by the quality that there were no windows to the outside world and nothing existent except a lot of indoor playground rooms.

I saw that leaving this place, I would not return. Not ever. It was as if I had spent my life in this kindergarten previously. And leaving it felt like it represented leaving childhood, as a child lives so heavily insulated from the dynamics of the real world by his own home and school and wherever his parents take him, knowing hardly anything of it but play... to maturity, which was full of difficult and confusing ideas and choices that would never end, after which I could never go back.

I thought that this was just like something that had happened to me in real life, when I was a child and I physically left a more realistic but still literal place in just the same way for the life that I am living now. Even though, of course, no singular, literal event like this truly ever happened.

That's right. I thought that this was identical to something that had happened to me 'in real life.' However, despite imagining such a thought, I didn't even think to couple it with the thought that I was dreaming. It was as if I was operating on an extremely low level of lucidity; or I had very closely, almost entered a lucid dream but not quite. (Not to mention that the event I imagined happening in real life never actually happened, which further shows how unaware I was of reality in this matter.)

I saw, in this imagined event, me being in my motherland, where I had lived up until I was six but no longer do, and the place I entered as I exited through this doorway was a street from that country. In fact, it may have been the street where my old home there was situated. For a moment, that's also what I saw outside the doorway where I was just then. Immediately after this, though, I saw a Western front porch, with some potted plants and a bench on a swing, where my mother went before I could catch up with her.

I wanted to tell her, without going outside myself, without setting foot through that doorway, about how I was feeling in order to garner sympathy from her. This is a childish endeavor; and the reason for which I was so avoidant of stepping through that doorway was that it felt like it would force me to surrender my childish ways. In retrospect, I think this may have been symbolic of when I left my homeland when I was 6 years old - and, at the same time, graduated from kindergarten and went on to begin school in the country where I currently reside.

As I've transferred these from my physical dream journal to this online one, I've noticed I have several objects that have appeared in my more vivid dreams.

Tables - usually metallic or gurney like
Gray or metallic rooms
Chairs
Dim lighting

In all three: Golden Dream, UFO dream, and Mel Gibson Saved Me, as well as the Pelican Dream & School, these have these elements.

When I enter the astral world (?) in Becoming Golden, I am in a dimly lit grayish room with three metallic tables. When I wake in my Mel Gibson dream, I wake upon a table. In the UFO dream, while there are no tables, the room itself is metallic. The man I met in the 'void' is also a silver, metallic form.

Chairs and gurneys are in the School/Pelican dream. Chairs are also in the UFO dream.

Any ideas on symbolism or the connections? :erm:

Old partially Lucid Dream
-------------------------------

I'm walking in what looks like a medieval village. It's modern day now, and there are many store fronts, so I gaze into their windows. It's pleasant and I'm in no hurry. The sidewalk is in good condition which contrasts the state of some of the buildings I pass. Many are made of stone and their walls are crumbling. It's chilly and night is falling.

As I near the corner of the sidewalk, I get a sense of concern. I turn the corner and am engulfed in this deep, angry wall of water. The waves grab me and pull me away from the safety of the quaint village. I go under and hear the sounds of the sea swirling around me. I force my way to the surface and gasp for air. Trying desperately to keep my head above the water, I notice in front of me, maybe several hundred yards beyond me, other people who were trapped in this sea are just walking out of the water and back onto the sidewalk.

No matter how hard I swim, struggle, or fight to move myself closer to shore, I cannot. I'm exhausted and I go under again. The waves are crashing all around me and beneath the water I feel assaulted, pushed here and there. I kick hard to make it to the surface once more and look to the shore. It seems even farther away and I am so envious of how effortlessly these other people leave the angry waters that I seem trapped in.

I wake.

After thought: I did some research on dreams because to me this felt like something which could be cathartic or symbolic. Water often times represents emotions. And I had been pulled beneath and was fighting against the water...my emotions? I felt trapped by them - unable to escape them. That was my take of this dream. Any thoughts or other observations are welcomed.

Dream - Lucid

I know there was more to this dream than this, but this is all I can really recall right now.

I was in what looked like a bedroom. The carpets were dark red. I remembered something from my waking life (which happens quite a bit in my regular dreams as well as lucid), and that somehow got my brain to the conclusion that I was dreaming.

I started to walk through the room, and the right side of my vision went out. I started trying to get it back, but it felt like my eye was shut so tightly, that it would open my real eye if I tried too hard. I decided to wait it out.

I walked by a bed that was on my right. In front of me, was...me. I was there, sitting on the floor. My hair was pulled back into a ponytail, I was wearing a white shirt, and I was sitting Indian-style on the floor, looking at me and smiling. Curious, I approached myself, hoping to ask some questions.

By this point, my vision had fixed itself.

I came up to myself sitting on the floor. I looked, and where I had been sitting there was now some sort of kitchen appliance machine still in its box instead. The box was white and was in a shopping bag. Weird. I started trying to figure out what that could have meant.

I then was outside in the daytime. I saw a huge, clear, beautifully vivid rainbow. I was with someone, my dad I think. He was standing in front of and facing me. I told him to turn around and look, because I could see that the rainbow was about to fade. The sun started to set very quickly as the sky turned orange and red. The rainbow's colors darkened but were still vivid. My dad turned to look, and the rainbow started to morph. The top of the rainbow started to break up and turn until it was a bunch of vertically-facing dark-colored bands sitting on top of the rest of the rainbow. My dad pointed out what was going on extremely matter-of-factly, but I can't remember what he said.

Dream - Lucid

I was laying in my bed on my stomach. Paul was sleeping next to me. I hoped he didn't try anything.

Then, it was morning, and we were up and out of bed. Brittany, a girl I met in one of my classes, laughed and said Paul had stayed at my house every night. She was right. I thought about it, and he had. I didn't understand why though. I mean, nothing had ever really happened between us or anything.

We were then laying in bed again. I was laying on my stomach, and I felt Paul put his arm over me and kinda cuddle me. I was so tired I didn't fight it. Paul then said something about us partying all night and staying up till dawn. I told him I couldn't because I had a test in the morning. He kept on talking about it anyway.

Another morning came. We were both up and about again. I looked at Paul, and all he was wearing were these mustard yellow boxers. I didn't look at him for too long; I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. I quickly averted my eyes.

I then went to class. I was in this big auditorium that reminded me of my old middle school auditorium.

Then, I was in bed again, and figured out I was dreaming. I looked around, and the TV was in the wrong place. I then did I finger count: 5 on the right hand, 6 on the left. I got up out of bed and went to phase through a wall, hoping it would take me somewhere else.

I was too hasty and didn't think through were I wanted to go, however, and things went black. I was in bed again after a few seconds of darkness, but I was still aware that I was dreaming. I decided to go get my brother and show him around the world of lucid dreaming. I got up out of my bed and hovered a little. I then went to my door to exit the room. I decided to not phase through it this time since the last time ended in blackness. I turned the handle, first doing another finger count.

I then was in my brother's room, trying to get his dream body out of bed. I don't remember much else from this part of the dream.

The next thing I know, I'm standing in front of a mirror. I look at my reflection, bu I discover that I look totally different. My hair is much darker, straighter, and longer, and my face looked much different and a bit younger. I concentrated a little more on it, and I started to be able to recognize my eyes on the unknown face staring back at me in the mirror.

I then decided to try something I've always heard about, but have never had experience with. A lot of people have told me that when they see their reflection in their dreams, it's horrible, disgusting, and terrifying. I've never had that experience, so I decided to try something to see what would happen. I said, out loud to my reflection,
"I want to face my demons. Show me my demons."
My face started to morph and change, every so often stopping in a distorted position. It would enlongate, flatten, my eyes would shrink, my face at one point looked kind of like an ass, etc. It just kept doing that. I could even feel it happening physically.

However, it wasn't scary. Just kinda weird.

I was then in a room somewhere. I felt the dream losing stability, so I started to feel and concentrate on my surroundings. I ran my hand over a glass surface, focusing on how real the glass felt. Below the glass was a metal surface. I did the same for that. I felt the cold, shiny metal under my fingers. It made the dream feel more stable.

Dream - Lucid

I was with my friend Paul. It was somewhere that I was spending the night for some reason. We were upstairs in some kind of bonus room. The only light in the room was a desk lamp at a desk Paul was sitting at. I was really tired, and laying on the floor on some blankets. I had a pillow as well. Paul was sitting in a desk chair which was turned towards me. We had been talking, but I don't remember about what. At some point, he was even massaging my feet. I hoped that he didn't think they were gross.

Then, I was so tired, I just decided to close my eyes and go to sleep.

I was then...I'm not really sure. I was in some white room that looked futuristic. We may have even been in space. This is where I figured out that space velociraptors had taken over the Earth. It was sometime in the future. The world was also running out of its water supply.

Even though these space raptors had taken over the planet, there were plenty of humans left. The thing was, they were living in constant fear. If the humans went outside, they were fair game to be eaten. People were getting picked off one by one. It was a horrible state.

I was told by some guy that we had to go back and get some people. We were then on Earth (a couple of men and myself) in my backyard. It was quiet, and the sky was grey. I knew we didn't need to be outside, though there were no raptors in sight; being outside was risky business in these times. I saw my brother at some point; he was helping us out.

I was then in my house. I don't really know what we needed the people for, but I was in there to get them. I walked through my kitchen, and then into my living room. It was quiet; I didn't see anyone inside. I saw some of the people who came with me outside through the windows.

I then felt like I lived there. I felt scared for my life. I felt the fear of the people of Earth.

Suddenly, through one of the windows, I saw them. A pack of raptors was running through my backyard. They were red with black, stripe-like markings on their backs. My breath caught in my throat and I dropped to the floor on my hands and knees. I frantically tried to crawl away from the windows, and ended up seeing some more passing through the front yard through the windows in our piano room. I felt like their vision was based on movement, so I tried to be still as I laid low. One of the raptors looked around as it passed. I hoped it didn't see me.

I started to panic, and immediately became lucid. I tried to think myself awake, but that wasn't enough. I started to say it out loud.
"Wake up, Krista. Wake up. Wake up!"
At first it didn't work. I closed my eyes and opened them in the exact same scene I had been in before.

Then, I closed my eyes and opened them again, finding myself back in the room with Paul. I was so relieved, but extremely sleepy. I looked next to me and noticed that Paul was laying on his stomach reading next to me on the blanket that I was also laying on. On the other side of Paul was a small child, a little boy. I think it was his nephew. I thought Paul was probably trying to make a move on me or something, but I didn't really care at that point. I was so tired that all I wanted to do was sleep. I turned to lay on my stomach as I cuddled my pillow a little. I moved a little closer to Paul, in a way hoping that he would cuddle with me.

I then fell asleep again.

I was back where I had been, but I didn't feel as scared because I knew I was dreaming. Part of me just wanted to let the dream play out a little more, so I didn't really do anything to control it.

I was then on the Earth mission again, but I was at a different house this time. I knew I was dreaming, so I knew no one was in any real danger. I quickly decided to try to transform myself. I'd never done that before. For some reason, I decided to try to transform myself into Pikachu. Why I decided on Pikachu is absolutely beyond me. I concentrated for awhile, but it wouldn't work. I stood in front of a mirror to try to guide the transformation by watching myself. The best I got was one of my legs started to turn yellow at the thigh. I tried for my other leg, but no dice.

I then went away from the mirror and tried to shrink myself, seeing if I could do it that way. I shrank a little, but just ended up squatting on the floor. I then laid on my back to try to watch my legs shrink. Nope, no dice. Grr.

I was then in the white futuristic room again. I was told that the raptors had not originally come to kill, but when they got to Earth, they saw us and felt sorry for our species because we were so stupid and blind, and decided to take over the world and kill us. I also figured out that the world's water supply was pretty much out; someone said they didn't know for sure, but had heard someone on Earth, referring to the water, say
"Oh shit."

I then was at my college, about to play a woodwind concert for band. I was holding my clarinet. I was walking down a bright hallway, when I saw the trombone players start to walk towards me, going on to play the brass portion of the concert. I then saw Austin (my ex in waking life who really does play trombone). His hair was shorter and he looked a lot younger. He wasn't wearing glasses either, as he usually is in waking life. I walked right by him, and he looked right at me. I then noticed that he had gotten shorter....waaaay shorter. In fact, as he walked by me, I turned around and he had shrunken a TON. I figured it was an illusion and he did it to himself. On top he was wearing a suit jacket, white shirt and tie, but on the bottom, he was wearing these baggy black pants with tons of ropes or belts that went from one leg to the other. I figured he had used those to make it look like he was way shorter.

Embarrassed, I turned to a friend and said
"I can't believe I'm dating him."

Dream - Lucid

I remember I was going to give my friend who just got married, Christina, a wedding present. I was going to the coffee shop where I work to give it to her, but then figured out I left the gift at my house. Kacey gave me a card that she was going to give to her. I didn't want to give it to her, because I wanted to give her my gift.

I remember being in the coffee shop and telling Christina congratulations. I did end up giving her Kacey's card. The card had a very complicated wrapping process. It was strange. I remember Christina opening it at my house. I then gave her a CD, and told her I had another one that I thought she'd like. The second CD was actually a video game.

I then remember doing these weird chemical tests. They had something to do with the way toilets flushed. I had to take samples of the water, and put them into a small test tube of dye. If the toilets flushed down, then the dye would turn green. If they flushed up, the dye would turn blue. Most of my tests in flushing the toilet resulted in the water going down resulting in green results, but I did get some blue results. I remember also being outside in a field with another scientist performing tests on the solutions we had gotten.

We were then driving around town, listening to music on the radio. The station we were listening to was only playing a minute or so of each song. We were in some parking garage, and I gave 2 of my test samples to some guy, whose name was Simon, as we drove by. The scientist I was with asked me what I did. I told him I gave them to Simon. He said that I'd need to get them back. I told him I would.

I remember seeing the samples labeled "Tornado #_ _ _ _" (each had a 4 digit number after the word 'tornado').

I then remember being in my house in the very middle of the staircase. I floated upwards, but could not go through the ceiling. I thought that was weird, I should be able to do that! I then tried to go down through the floor. That I could do. I went through the stairs into a small, dark area. It almost felt a little warmer down there. I contemplated going lower. I then floated back up, and tried again to go through the ceiling. The ceiling moved a little under the pressure I put on it. It cracked a little bit and seemed to glow green.

I also remember Christina getting annoyed with me for some reason.

I wonder why floating didn't induce lucidity? Meh. I haven't been lucid in a few weeks now. I think I've just had too much on my mind. -_-

Dream - Lucid

I was in a room with some other people. I think Austin was there. I remember hearing something on a radio about a car accident, a really bad one about a lady losing her arm. The radio was live, playing what the police and paramedics were saying. I remember hearing them saying
"Pick it up!"
They were talking about her arm.

While listening to this, I was watching my cat, Belle. There was an open hole in the middle of the room that resembled our tornado shelter in waking life, except for it was a bottomless pit. It did have a cover like our shelter, however, but the cover wasn't on it. Belle was playing around the hole. I watched her try to jump, lose her footing, then fall down the hole. I started crying.
"Belle! She's gone forever!"
I was very upset. I then turned back to the hole, and Belle was sitting beside it. I guess she didn't fall down the hole after all. She then did the same thing again, jumping around the hole then falling down, me crying, and her reappearing. I then slid the cover over the pit.

I then remember seeing the lady who had been in the accident. They had sewed her arm back on. She had a band wrapped around the crook of her arm where it had previously been severed. Her arms looked toned and muscular.

Dream - Lucid

I was in my porch. For some reason, I needed to make a dress...out of wood? I didn't fully understand it in the dream either, but I guess that's dreams for ya.

Anyway, I went outside into the backyard to see if I could find a tree I could use. My mom was there too. We were discussing which one my dad wouldn't mind us cutting down. There's one that we were thinking would be perfect, it's in the right corner of the yard. It had a name, but I don't remember what it was.

I don't remember how this happened, but we had a lot of boards of wood. I remember seeing it in neat piles. The wood was then somehow carved into the shape of a giant person. I feel like my mom did this. It was almost mannequin-like, but with a little more detail. It was somehow alive, and I had to fight it. It was really bizarre. I was in the porch again, and the wood-person was in the kitchen (attached to the porch). My mom was there, not sure if she was fighting it or not, but she was in the kitchen with it. I suddenly had a sword, and when I hit the giant wood-person with the sword, it bounced off. Duh, it's wood. But it was supposed to work, at least that's what I understood. The wood-person had a knife and was trying to fight me with the knife.

I then remember the sword getting hit out of my hand, or I dropped it. Either way, I didn't have it anymore. I remember the wood-person talking to me about the sword and how it was trying to decide which knife to use. It pulled out a variety of knives as I looked for my sword. I picked up what looked like a very short sword, but I didn't think it was mine. I remembered mine being longer.

~

I was waking up in a hospital bed. Next to me, in another bed, was my coworker, Shelly. I remember feeling my chest hurt. I then figured out that we had heart surgery. I don't remember why, but we did. The doctor, who was a girl my age, I think she was someone I know but I can't remember who, told me she put Shelly and I "in sync" with each other, meaning that we would think the same way for awhile. It was interesting.

I remember us getting up out of our beds, and leaving the hospital. We were on the exact same wavelength! It was so awesome, we were laughing and carrying on and having a good time. I could feel our hearts beating together at the exact same pace at the exact same time. We were basically finishing each other's sentences. I remember us walking inside some school that looked like my old middle school. We were so happy! We kept telling everyone that we were "in sync". I remember something about a video game system and its games...I think it was the SNES.

Then, I remember the "in sync"-ness starting to wear off. We were still getting along, but it wasn't nearly as well and we weren't as joyful anymore. I remember wanting that "in sync"-ness back. I thought maybe the doctor could reset it.

Throughout the dream, I kept feeling random pains in my chest. I had kept forgetting that I had had heart surgery. The pain reminded me, though.

Dream - Lucid

I remember being outside at night with my friend Dakota. Someone else was there too, but I can't remember who. We were having to fight zombies. It was like a video game, where we had to kill these different types of zombies in one level to get to the next one. In this level, one of the first levels (there were 1 or 2 before this one), there were 3 different types of zombies to kill, each type deadlier and harder to kill than the last, and we only had a limited amount of ammo.

I remember before we went out into the level (we were just hanging out behind something so the zombies wouldn't see us), I was telling Dakota about what I did in the previous level (Dakota had gone through it already; he was at this level way before me). It had a beach on it, and I told him that after killing a few zombies, I laid down on the beach. If zombies came up after that, I'd just take them out. That level really wasn't that hard compared to the one we were in now.

I remember seeing, at some point, Dakota or the other person that was with us, fighting with someone's mom, I don't remember if it was Dakota's mom or the other guy's mom. But they were arguing about when they had to be home by.

Alright, back to the zombies. First, I remember talking to Dakota about what would happen if we lost all our lives. I asked him something about if we'd just come back or if we'd really die. He said if we lost all of our lives, we'd really die. It was real life, after all.

We decided to go out and kill some zombies. We went out from behind our little area. The zombies started to come out. We were shooting down the easier ones to kill. Not too bad, but then we got to the last ones. They didn't look like zombies, but more like almost invisible aliens with this big blue light streak going horizontally through their mid-sections. Dakota was telling me to shoot them, trying to instruct me what to do. I was trying to take one down, but he kept hitting me. I finally ran out of ammo and then energy, and died. I thought I was dying for real, because I thought it was my last life. But then, I was back where we started, sitting behind something with Dakota. We had been so close to completing the level!

I remember coming out from behind our little area a few times and killing off the easier zombies. Those crazy alien-like ones were really difficult to kill, and were very aggressive. We were trying to prepare ourselves for that.

Dream - Lucid

I remember being with a friend I met last semester, Windy. We were outside taking a Data Analysis test. The only way I knew it was Data Analysis was because my teacher from that class was giving the test. It was a strange test; we had to go to different "stations" and answer questions about the stations. It was a lot of fill-in-the-blank. I remember feeling pretty good about most of the test.

Then, Windy and I got to a station where I remember there being a GIANT pair of scissors, and a measuring tape that was outstretched a few feet. Windy was trying to get the scissors to cut, but it was proving to be very difficult, seeing as they were so huge. She finally, slowly got them to cut. They severed the measuring tape. She had to go tell the teacher what she had accidentally done.

At some point during all this, I remember seeing my face in the mirror, and seeing that the right half of it looked weird and saggy. My eye looked really messed up. I started to freak out, thinking my Bell's Palsy had come back. I remember asking my mom if my eye looked weird. I don't remember what she said. I do remember trying to move my face a few times though, and the right side would barely move.

~

I then woke up, and decided as I was drifting back off that I was going to become lucid. I felt my body fall asleep, and I entered another dream.

Windy was there again. It took me a minute to get my bearings, but I remembered I needed to reality check. I did my finger count, and ended up with 8 or 9 fingers. I was dreaming! I said to Windy
"Windy...look at your hands!"
She did indeed look at them, and a look of wonder came over her face.
"I have 6 fingers!", she said.
"It's because you're dreaming!", I replied.
She laughed and said something else, though I can't remember exactly what it was.

I then remember us having to rescue all these people who were in prison who were innocent. We started the mission, but I woke up.

Or at least I thought I did. I was still dreaming as I woke up standing in some room. Some guy was in there with me. He was talking, though I can't remember what he was saying. I closed my eyes and "fell back asleep" into the dream I had been in before and was immediately lucid.

I was outside somewhere. I kept examining my hands and rubbing them together to ensure that I stayed lucid and aware. Sometimes, though, I counted 5 fingers and would have to redo my check.

Anyway, I wanted to walk on some clouds. I saw some light blue and purple-tinted clouds spilling over the ground, and started to approach them. I climbed up the low, spilling clouds as if they were solid. I remember wanting some special boots to walk on them with, and I remember then having them.

I then "woke up" in the other dream again. I "fell back asleep" and continued my lucid dream.

I was then on the ground again, and I think Windy was there. I remember wanting her to fly with me, but I never asked her to. I remember her laughing as I took off. I started to climb higher and higher into the air. I started to feel like I was going too high and the dream would get lost, so I lowered myself a bit and watched the ground below me. I remember seeing lots of clouds covering a pale blue and pale purple-lit land.

The land then started to disappear until there were only clouds. It was then a cloud world-type place. As I flew, I spotted little islands in the clouds. It was a very beautiful sight. I remember trying to land on an island, but I was flying too fast or something and couldn't get my timing right to land.

Another "wake up" in the other dream. "Fell back asleep".

I was then on the ground. I tried to remember some of my lucid goals, but they were so hard to access. I remembered then that I wanted to try to get to Teraluna with my new portal system. I couldn't find a wall anywhere, so decided to try to draw one in midair.

*Sigh*...another "wake up" and "falling back to sleep" episode.

The next thing I remember is we had rescued all of the innocent prisoners from before. I can't really remember how we did it, I just knew that we had done it. I remember seeing some in a cave with some water running through it. Their prison cell was behind them.

~

I was going to have to go to trial...about my mom's oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I was appealing a decision that had already been made against my mom. Something about the cookies being misleadingly unhealthy or something to that effect. The person filing against my mom? My first real boyfriend's mom, R.

I remember preparing for the case, which was going to take place in my old high school's auditorium on the stage. I remember not understanding wtf was going on, and why R would do this. It was extremely stupid.

I then remember being on the stage, sitting in a chair. I had a lawyer behind me, and R, also sitting in a chair, had a Lawyer behind her as well. There was no judge or jury present, it was just us 4. I remember R presenting her case. She had a tray full of different kinds of cookies. There were a few that looked old and dark brown. I thought those must be my mom's. I thought "Wait...mom hadn't baked cookies for her in months...those must be from the last trial!". I interrupted R and said
"Aren't those cookies from the last time?", to which she replied
"Yes..."
I then yelled
"Then that evidence doesn't count! That doesn't count!"
I remember her trying to go on about how my mom bakes cookies for her every week and a half. I yelled
"Well, if you don't like them or whatever, why do you keep taking them from my mom? Why don't you just ask her to stop baking for you?"
She just looked at me with this sad, pitiful look on her face. She said something about needing the money. I started going into a rage and started throwing things at her while screaming at her at the same time. I remember some small, chubby child with glasses being there too. I threw stuff at her as well. I was fucking pissed.

I then remember being on some ride. I was sitting in a chair as it went through this flooded hallway. It was about to go down one passage, but a voice said that it couldn't, because it was a dead end. It had to go down some stairs instead. It was supposed to pretend to kill you. I remember someone else being there, I'm pretty sure it was Ryan. I had ridden it before, and knew it was all a part of the ride, but he didn't. He thought I was really going to die. I didn't tell him otherwise, I just decided to let him find out.

The chair took my down the flooded stairs. I ended up at the bottom, and pretended to be dead. Something then happened, something involving an airplane, someone trying to act like this puppet thing was real (it wasn't very convincing). I don't remember details of this part. It was really weird. It was kind of like a video game boss in a way.

Dream - Lucid

I was with a couple of other people in some store, I think it was called American Outfitters. I was shopping for blue jeans. I found a pair I liked; they were a size 23. The saleswoman handed them to me, and I started to head towards the dressing room with the people I was with.

When I entered the dressing room, I saw it was HUGE with a ton of elegant-looking beds of all sizes. There was a stall, one of 2 stalls in the whole dressing room, that I tried to enter, but someone wouldn't let me. So I kept walking, seeing all the beds around me. We stopped at a big, queen-sized bed. I started to change, and someone pointed out that people were staring at me, watching me change. I looked around, and there were indeed lots of older men watching me change. I felt extremely uncomfortable, and tried to tell them to go away and stop watching. I tried to get some of the people I was with to stand in front of me as I tried the pants on. They tried, but there were still all these men staring at me. I remember an overweight black man being one of the men. I eventually just gave up and tried to ignore them as I tried the pants on. They fit perfectly, and I wanted to buy them.

Then, I remember walking off to the side, and seeing this small, light orange ball covered in pink dots. I knew I was supposed to be collecting those. I picked it up, and then saw myself in 3rd person. It was floating above my hands, and phased through my chest. I went back to 1st person as it did that, and I felt it phase through. I was with someone else as I took off to fly over a city. I was laughing as I flew, turning upside down and then back to normal. I think I was supposed to be some kind of superhero.

I then remember feeling myself float back to Earth. I didn't want it to end; I wanted to keep flying! I inevitably landed, however. I went around and did some things, though I can't remember exactly what.

Then, I remember being in a grocery store by the refrigerated section. I looked at my hand to do a relaity check. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 fingers. I'm dreaming! I redid the check. Still too many fingers. I rubbed my hands together.

~

I was in my kitchen with my mom and brother. My brother asked my mom to get some "Skinny Fruit Loops" from the store. Huh? Skinny Fruit Loops? Wtf. Then, there were a ton of "Skinny Fruit Loops" boxes arranged neatly on the floor. I asked my brother
"What are Skinny Fruit Loops?"
He said
"They don't have like 1,000 calories like regular Fruit Loops do." He picked up a box.
I said
"Regular Fruit Loops don't have 1,000 calories..."
"Oh, they don't?", my brother replied.
I remember thinking that the Skinny Fruit Loops probably weren't as good or filling as regular Fruit Loops.

Dream - Lucid

I was at my wedding...I was going to marry Ryan. It was outside in a green field. There were tons of chairs set up. We had never had a rehearsal dinner, so I was kind of worried about how things would go, but I hoped it would work out fine. I thought about being up at the alter, saying my vows. The wedding was to be at noon.

Then, I remember seeing a soccer field that kind of looked like a volleyball court behind where we were supposed to have the ceremony. I remember seeing Kim, a girl I work with, playing soccer with a group of people. My boss told her she wouldn't get credit for something because she wasn't going to be at my wedding. She said she knew. I wasn't really too concerned about it. The only thing was, I thought the game may interfere with the ceremony. Someone kicked a soccerball and it went out of bounds towards me. I took it and threw it back to them.

People started to fill up the empty seats that were set up. I was laying on my stomach to the right of the alter. I was wearing a strapless wedding dress. I noticed that my bridesmaids were all late; I didn't see any of them. The seats were full now...there were tons of people on both sides.

Then, a director by the alter started to direct the organ. The Wedding March started to play. I thought it was just a rehearsal of the music, so I just stayed where I was and watched. But then, I saw Ryan and his groomsmen walking to the alter. I thought about how it was said to be bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding. I also thought that Ryan must be confused, because this is just a rehearsal...right?

I remember seeing the director quietly counting the beats off to himself as he directed. He then looked at me as if to say "We're waiting for you, get up here!". I started to mouth to him whether or not I needed to be up there or not. Ryan and his groomsmen were standing at the alter. I then remember seeing 3 of my bridesmaids in long, black dresses covered in sequens standing at the alter. They had HUGE tags that the bridesmaids hadn't taken off of them yet. I guessed they were going to return them. I remember Rachel being one of the bridesmaids, and then a girl I barely know in waking life that I went to high school with, Lindsey, being one. I can't remember who the 3rd one was. They still weren't all there though. Upon closer examination of the bridesmaids' dresses, I noticed that they had some crazy, huge headpiece attatched to them. Wtf?

~

I was in a house. I was laying down to go to sleep. My bed was in the kitchen. I remember hearing music play. A woman was cleaning the kitchen, which was only lit by the light above the stove. She laid down next to me and tried to cuddle me. She whispered something in my ear. I said "no" to whatever it is that she said.

Then, I remember seeing Nick. He told me it was a shame that I was getting married, since so many guys liked me.

I then remember being by the kitchen sink. A lizard was swimming in a large glass of dirty water, which was sitting in the sink. The lizard was Kacey's, and I was watching him for her. I dumped out the dirty water in the glass, and filled in with clean water from the tap. The lizard then proceeded to use the bathroom, dirtying the water again. The glass was warm. Gross.

I was then going to fill the sink up with water and let him swim in there, but decided I first needed to put Belle, my cat, away first so she didn't eat him. I asked someone if the "Spanish room" was being used. I then saw my old high school Spanish teacher, Mrs. K. She said no, the room wasn't being used. I thought this was odd for a second, but didn't look too far into it.

I took Belle into the "Spanish room", which was located in the back of the house. It was a beautiful, old-timey-looking bedroom. I remember seeing big, billowy off-white curtains. It was very cute. I put Belle down in the room.

Dream - Lucid

I was in the car at night. I was riding with Rachel, who was driving. Apparently, we were going to get married. I wanted to marry her AND Ryan. We found someone who would do it, but instead of Ryan, Rachel's friend Christina was there. Weird. I remember being in front of the person marrying us.

I didn't have a wedding band, but an engagement ring. The ring was super cheap. The band was gold and it had a small diamond set in it, though I don't think it was a real diamond. I remember it being a little too big as well, and it kept sliding around on my finger. It also kept bending; it was extremely malleable.

I remember also skipping data analysis, even though I'm out of absenses in that class. I did approach Rachel in a classroom, and asked her if we could at least have a wedding ceremony. She seemed bothered by my asking, and pretty much told me she couldn't afford it. I knew that I had rushed into things by marrying her; I felt like I should have been more patient. I didn't want to even be with her, I wanted to be with Ryan. I was dissappointed in myself for rushing.

I remember then, at some point, asking Rachel if she believed in coincidence. She told me yes, and started to explain why. I told her I didn't, and that I thought everything happened for a reason. She countered me by saying that only some things happen for a reason. I didn't understand a lot of what she was saying.

Then, I remember being outside in a huge pool of very clear water. I remember flashing my ring at a guy who had asked me out. The ring now didn't have a stone, but had a black oval in its place.

I then remember going underwater, and seeing a group of guys standing under there. It was like there was a small town under the water that had been flooded (I have been playing too much Zelda in waking life, haha). I swam to the bottom, and let my breath out so I would sink and be able to stand on the bottom. I talked to the guys. I then went up for air.

When I got to the top, my old friend Josh was there. I was talking to him about how upset I was about the whole marriage situation, and he said, after some talking,
"I won't be home from 2-8, but why don't you come over at 8 to keep me company?"
I knew what he meant by that...I would be cheating. I saw the seductive look in his eye. As he was leaving, I nodded and said yes, I would be there. I didn't feel super bad about it, but I did feel a little bad.

Then, I remember being in a huge, open stone field that was surrounded by some small buildings and trees. I thought I was under the water again, but upon further examination, I figured out I wasn't. I was talking to a lesbian, and I was telling her about the situation. I then concluded as I was talking
"You can't marry more than one person. I'm not even gay!" Big duh moment.
I then remember pulling out the marriage certificate. It looked very unofficial, and looked like a photo copy. It had Rachel's, Christina's, and my signatures on it. I ripped it up.

~

I was in some apartment/school. It was kind of like dorm rooms. People were stealing all of these things out of the rooms, things that were "bad", or something. I went into someone's room and took a poster off the door. I remember hearing the crumbling of paper as I took it with me. I went outside to put it in a car, but felt so bad about stealing, that I went back into the room and laid the poster down on the bed.

Then, I remember walking in a hallway that looked like a middle or high school lobby. I was with someone else, a guy, and we were walking towards the front door to leave. We were stopped by an old acquaintance of mine, Sean. He told us to stop, and then said that we had to go through a certain door because it had The Lord's Prayer posted on it. I said to whoever I was with as we passed Sean
"I've known The Lord's Prayer since I was little..." I didn't think it was neccessary for us to stop and read it.
We approached the door, and saw the prayer posted on it. I don't remember if we used that door or not.

Then, I remember watching a war. An ex, Jake, was fighting in it. He had a hand-held cannon that he was using to fight with. I was watching him fight while sitting at a table. He was in a field. I remember watching him use the cannon, and every time he would, some of his hair would fall out.

After awhile, he approached me, and said
"Every time I use this, some of my hair falls out!" He pointed to his head.
I remember he was wearing a brown hoodie with the hood up.

Then, Jake told me the war had been a stalemate. I then asked him
"How can you tell who wins and who loses?"
He replied, very smartass-like
"Well, the team who celebrates is the winner...and..."
I cut him off and said
"I know that. But how do you know who wins and who loses?"
He started to answer, but I woke up.