non-lucid

NON LUCID

*My brother was on his way to go hang out with the boscos and I noticed his were real baggy and old. I suggested that maybe he should change clothes.
*Namkhai Norbu was giving a teaching that me and father were watching together. The introduction was very strong and confident.

I was so exhausted last night... and yet, I was up until past three in the morning. I slept too little and I kept waking up. So I barely remember anything.

I basically only remember two fragments:

I was in this car thing (which should've made me do a RC, since it's one of my dream signs), going to a protest? When I got there, the protest was actually a festival, and lots of people were happy that Paul McCartney was going to perform there.

I'm pretty sure this was still the same dream, but... no idea how they link, so.

I was walking around this huge house (huge rooms should probably be another dream sign of mine, considering my latest dreams) and I wanted to hook up with a girl. People were talking about this really ugly guy, who was really nerdy and just awkward as hell. A nice and pretty girl decided to give him a chance and everybody was happy for him, but she didn't seem too happy after they had hooked up. She didn't say anything, but it seemed like it had been fast, bad and kinda gross for her? I think I was gonna hook up with his sister, who was super cool and gorgeous.



The thing that makes me angry, though, is that I clearly remember, in another dream, getting lucid right before I woke up.

I dont really remember how but I lost a gallon of milk down a hill which had some workers at an intersection with a lot of other milks and stuff. I ran down to try and find it and they asked what I was looking for and I told them a 2% percent milk that took off down the hill and they said they didn't know but pooled together to help get a new one.

I was at an event with families and there were hug mountains, big. There were a bunch of kids running along the top of this ridge and someone commented to me about being young and having tons of energy after I had siad it was amazing how long they had been running. I had the thought that "those look like mountains I see in my dreams" but didnt become lucid

I'm walking down a gravel path on a misty grey day through some woods. I'm with a long-haired Swedish reality TV star, he his pretty good looking. We get to a modern looking house my some rocks, do I see the seashore beyond? We enter and their is a group of my friends who are in the creative field sitting in a circle. There are some of their friends there as well that I don't recognize, they all look very fancy and well-dressed like hipsters. I think this is going to be a reality TV show we are all going to be in. I feel special that they wanted me here.

I worry if my friends are angry at me. I sit down by a bed. One of my friends offers me a beer that I politely refuse. I try to lay down in a cool way on the bed. I do my best to be social, I don't need alcohol.

I'm leaving the place, on the same road on a bike. Some middle-aged people pass me on their bikes, it gets hard to pedal. I get up to rest and see that the seat has sunk down, my knees were almost to my head. I adjust the seat and feel relief that the difficulty in pedalling wasn't due to my poor shape.

Waking up in the middle of the night and try to relax, falling asleep only to wake up again. A vague memory of seeing my friend Minna.

I have memory of writing into my dream journal after waking up, upset that I didn't remember any of my dreams.

earlier:

+ (f) on a race-track? Zipping around, there are large distances involved, I see a giant horse-head (like a chess knight)?

later:

+ walking on roads/paths, I see a sign on a downhill path labelled "for sh ->" (programming shell), enter home, I'm leaving through back stairs leading back up to road, woman of the house speaks to me and we realize that she knows my son S2.

+ enter a house, (DO?) a guy goes into the kitchen and uses a strange tool to quickly pick/get the template of the lock on the kitchen door, and runs outside, before the woman in the kitchen sees him

+(f) some old Chinese guy in a canoe?

+ in a house/room talking with people/friends. A woman is pregnant. I'm stepping on the floor and notice a loose tile. I bend down to look and it's a large cube-shaped brick that's loose in the floor because it's sitting on top of crumpled up newspaper underneath. I'm saying "but are there any restrictions/problems with being close to the wi-fi radiation (for the pregnant woman)?"

+ in an office/cube setting, I'm talking to a guy there and say "wouldn't it be great if there was an entire wi-fi free area, so that we wouldn't be subject to the radiation?" They're planning some conference and marketing girls are walking around with big handfuls of ribbons. I ignore this and turn to my terminal/screen, start to log in, and think about playing some game.

+ [vivid, present] outdoors/daylight, walking up an uphill curving path with two other guys, one is a CEO (of company N?) and another guy is an older visitor. The older visitor starts breathing very very heavily, wheezing almost, like this is an extreme exertion for him. It's quite loud and distracting and I think that guy is in terrible shape, all my attention is on the horrible sound of this guy's labored breathing. We reach a sharp switchback on the trail and I look down and see that part of the path is made out of a 4-5" diameter PVC pipe embedded in the ground, the peak of the pipe sticks up and makes a slipper foothold if you walk just on this part, and I say so. The CEO guy says his legs got really tired by squatting for a long time by the side of the path.

+ [vivid, present] some sort of old-west "steampunk" environment, indoors, half-lit, there's a woman on a podium dressed up thematically and dramatically, some narration about her. Then a snake-oil salesman type sitting on a buggy starts his pitch. He talks a lot, a constant stream of chatter. He's talking about the benefits of marijuana. He reaches down into a pouch low on the coach below his feet and takes out a handful of the "weed." It actually looks like a handful of small pine branches. He says something about "fathers and daughters and uncles and nieces." He then bends the handful of branches in half and holds them tightly, and lights one end (the end which is mostly sticks) and offers it as a free demo. He says the cost of this would be $500. My (wife?) is near me and I know she would disapprove, but I take a toke anyway. I blow on the end to get the fire a bit higher, smoke is starting to emerge from the front of the pile of (pine-weed). I take one deep breath in (get a bit of smoke), exhale, then put my mouth on the front of the pine-weed and take a deep inhale of the smoke. I hold my breath for about 10 seconds and then exhale strongly.

Non-dream
Non-lucid
Lucid

Dream 1
It's evening. I'm with a girl that I went out with a few times last year and haven't seen or spoken to since. I go inside a room or building while she stays outside. I'm sitting in a circle. The only person I do recall recognising is sitting across me, Tessa, a tv host. We're playing a game, or maybe just having fun. Either way it ends up with her using a waterhose with adjustable pressure to hose some of us down. I end up walking over and taking the hose... and doing the same thing to others. At one point I'm a bit concerned that I may have used a bit too much pressure while aiming at the face of the girl that was sitting to my left before I got up. Eventually the girl that I went out with comes into the room.. or looks over the wall, something like that. She has been waiting for me all this time. I tell her I'll be out in a minute. I might have changed into some dry clothes at this point, not too sure about that. I go outside into a dark parking lot. I'm surprised she has been waiting for me all this time. I guess that means we're going home together. I just need to take a quick pee. I look around the parking lot and see a moveable object, about the size of a car. It's a kind of urinal. People have moved it over there, but for some reason a couple of men are standing close to it and peeing on the ground instead. Someone has warned the police, who are now coming to intervene. I suddenly start to wonder. This girl lives in city #1, studies in cities #2 and #3. I live and study in city #4, where we currently are. What is she doing here?

Not sure if this is a different dream or a continuation of the last one.
I'm standing in the bathroom of my mom's house. My cousin is standing in front of the sink, brushing his teeth. Not sure what my mom and I are doing, but we're also in the bathroom. The girl has apparently come with me to my mom's house. She enters the bathroom through a door next to the sink.* She is wearing my white bathrobe. I notice immediately that she is quite flat-chested.^ My mom asks her if she is [my gf who she hasn't met yet]. Panicking, I attempt to hush my mom. She asks again. I'm not sure what happened to the girl. At this point I think my mom is dense and ask my cousin if he would understand if I did 'this' to him [I place my hand over his toothpaste/spit covered mouth]. He doesn't get the hint either.

I'm messing around my desk in my room at my mom's house. My cousin has left some stuff here which he should've cleaned up. A hamburger, a plate.. perhaps more. It all falls to the ground. When I go into the living room to mention it, he becomes very apologetic about it.

*There is no door there in reality.
^She is quite the opposite in reality.

Dream.. 2? 3?
I'm sitting on the couch with one of the guys I shared a dorm with back in Indonesia. There's another guy, but I can't recall who. We're asking my dormmate questions about.. his homecountry I guess? I vaguely hear someone calling me. Class is going to start. A group of people is walking in one direction. I get up and join. The layout of the classroom: there's 1 or 2 desks at the front where 4/5 people are sitting, because they will continue the presentation that they didn't finish last lesson. All the others are seated on chairs without desks, in neat rows behind one another. I see a classmate sitting that I don't particularly care for. I hate to admit it, but she looks good with the skirt she's wearing. A little short though, as I can see her underwear for a moment. I sit down in the front row, next to another classmate. Another classmate then sits down next to me. She went out looking for a new room yesterday. I asked her if she got it. She did. Nice. The classmate I don't like is sitting one row to the back and starts talking with us. I notice that a part of her left leg looks even more pale than the rest of her already pale body. She has a fresh tattoo, still wrapped. It's an ad for a storage place or a butcher or something alike, phone number and all. I wonder why in the hell she would do such a thing. There's a moment to ask questions to the teacher. I ask her a question about one of the electives and get my answer. Then the presentation starts. I get asked if I have a question. I reply.. vaguely. I'm distracted by the fact that I suddenly have no vision in my right eye. I feel like this might be stress induced or like when you press your eyeball and you see all kinds of weird stuff. I can't focus at all on the presentation so I just bluff my way through my question/comment. I can't even remember what the presentation is about while I'm sitting there... Cambodia? The only thing I know for sure it's about an Asian country

I wake up. I can hear it raining outside. It takes me a while to realise I'm no longer in Jakarta, but back home.

This is a sketch, writing from ios.

1. Going with family im a bus in a trip to some old village in center of spain.
2. First thing to visit is a mansion of a russian, good guy.
3. He presents some girls, on exactly as quiet.
4. Some party at night and that girl now dresses as quiet, took some photos for instagram.
5. At the end they were bitches slaves, then run put with us in the bus.
6. Return hometown, christmas day, lets celebrate.


MENTAL NETWORK CONNECTIONS OF THAT DAY
1. Christmas, for playing ace attorney in a case of murder 25 of december.
2. Played lots of mgsv, tomorrow start mgo3.
3. Watched quiet actress in twitter

Non-dream
Non-lucid
Lucid

Dream 1 - Hydro park
I remember being in a car park earlier on but now I'm at a hydro park with water slides and stuff. I feel a little too old for it and there are other kids running around. I seem to be with someone, maybe a girl? Can't recall. I'm getting hunted down by some tough people, but they're unaware that I've 'awakened' (wtf does that even mean?).

Dream 2 - Zombie apocalypse
I'm at my parents house and there's been a zombie apocalypse. I seem to be behind the couch in the living room which honestly just resembles a WW2 trench. I'm fishing for some gear to protect myself with. I search around and find a nice helmet, but I end up confronted by a zombie which appears on wooden plank platform bridged between the top of the couch and window sill. I hack at it with *something*, not sure what, but it decapitates it. The head rolls down into the ditch where I am and soaks the helmet I had found in brown blood. With disgust I refuse to even touch it again, getting a bit antsy about the risk of infection even though I feel I could just wash it. The brown mud also seems to just coat other stuff, it's really disgusting.

Dream 3 - Smithy
I recall a girl smith who makes me a weapon, but she keeps pulling all-nighters in the smithy to forge it... I feel flattered but concerned.
Note: this dream probably came as a result of a story I was reading the other day.

Dream 4 - Castle
There is a castle/school for certain children. Me and a girl I'm friend with have to go into it as students because of some incident we were involved in, although I get the feeling they were using me to persuade her to join. We are both pretty young for some reason, felt like it was a prologue story. Also it seems like we were in 'season 2' of something, like a TV series. For some reason the girls here get 'infected' and become pregnant, and the school tries to harvest them and ostracize the student. It's hard to explain, but if you're found out to be pregnant then the other students see you as someone they have to offer up, no one believes you if you tell them anything. My friend gets pregnant and everything thinks I'm the father, but we haven't done anything. I start analyzing the situation, "why are boys at this school?", "why would they say she's pregnant?". We get accused and ostracized, we try to run away... Dashing into the castle I see an elevator on the other side of the room, the other students are trying to chase us now. I pull my friend along with me and inside the elevator and start mashing the 'close door' button. It doesn't seem to be going fast enough and I'm panicking. In front of me I see a blonde blue eyed girl (who I recognize as an old friend called Beth in real life) walking towards us. The dream gets a little unstable and chaotic, one second they're able to stop us closing the doors and then they're not... Confusing. Then I wake up.

Dream 5 - Beach restaurant
Me and some friends are at a restaurant by an intertidal mudflat beach. We seem to be celebrating something.. I peer outside and spot a whole bunch of my old friends from high school. They're just walking along the beach casually on a hangout. I shout out "Hello!" and get their attention and they come over. I shake hands with an old friend called Rory but at the time I seriously couldn't remember his name (I only remembered once I had woken up). I kind of beat around the bush saying "Hey, 'you'!", it seemed alright though as we both kind of just laughed about my ignorance. Smooth. Our groups kind of merge and everyone just randomly converses with each other even though most of them have probably never met before. I spot my best friend Daniel, he came out of the group I had been in the restaurant with.

Wrote this up pretty late today so I might be missing a few details

I can hardly remember anything this morning.

Running around the East End of London with my son (?) doing something. I can remember being stood near the Thames but not much else, and looking at a mobile phone needing to be back at another location for some reason.

First dream

There was some sort of cataclysm that turned whole Earth into barren lands. There was no vegetation, except a few dead or dying trees that could be spotted once in a while. People were using all the resources left to build themselves shelters, as zombies are approaching. I was wandering close to two bunkers - one was an old World War Two soviet bunker, and another was in a two storey house with fortified compound and sniper towers. I entered the first one. There was a couple of elder people inside - the man was wearing a hawaiian shirt and short trousers, and the woman was wearing a hawaiian dress. They were both armed with AKS 74/2 rifles. The zombies were approaching, and we had to prepare ourselves.

False awakening

Middle of the night, I woke up in my bed and wandered my house for a while. After a while I stumbled upon my mother. She told me that someone is driving all over our frontyard with a silver Audi car. I went outside, and the car stopped. I entered it and saw that a pal of my older brother called "Firefighter" was controlling it. He was completely drunk. As soon as I entered the car, he drove away from my house. I used handbrake to stop the car, took his keys and ran away from him. He chased me for a long time, up to the Ukrainian border. It was afternoon. I decided to give him his keys back, and we went back to the car.

Third dream

I was in school, sitting in the classroom. The teacher wasn't looking at me, so I opened my backpack and took assault rifles out of it. I had enough of them to give each to every person in the classroom.

D1 - Apparently there was a end of the world type storm coming. So I went to hide out in the woods and make a shelter.
Lots of animals followed me. Do I look like snow white
Next I use banks of earth to make a wall against the oncoming apocalyptic winds. I decide to dig straight down a wide
trench, very deep. Along the bottom I store fire wood and along the side there are loads of square chambers sealed with clay.
Inside each is a meal ready to go, all I need to do is place a fire next to it then break open the chamber to eat the meal.
(probably roast hedgehog or rabbit).There is some kind of chimney for the smoke and a fire suspended by a pulley system from the roof.
A series of hatches protects the trench from invasion from who knows what.
Above the trench there are people in the trees ready to shoot any animals attracted by the smoke from cooking. And around the wooded camp is a plastic tarpaulin barrier.

D2- Long battle against enemy agents has drawn near to it's end as the last two operatives fight it out.
I am one of them as course xD tho I appear to be a Tom Cruise looky likey...nooooooooo. (so unfair).
Anyway my arch nemesis has blond hair and looks like lead singer out of ABC Martin Fry...scary.
We fight it out...in the air over London. Every thing looks weird from up in the sky. I can make out various landmarks.
In the end it is my amazing swimming stroke as I fly...a bit like a desperate doggy paddle as I fly Oo.
And I get to a brown car before the other agent and it's all over.

I probably beat him to the secret supply of hair gel...idk.

NON LUCID

*My mother seemed to be really sad about something so I told her I will be next to her side until she feels better.
*Ran into trill at a party which seemed to take place inside of a school gym.
*There was this chaotic party going on in the middle of streets. I was kind of watching from the out shirts.

Dream 1

I was high on marijuana. I then woke up in real life and felt as though I was high, too. It may have just been tiredness, though.

Dream 2

I was on a spaceship, and it kind of looked like the Rebel ship at the beginning at Star Wars Episode 4 on the inside.

Dream 3

I was in the country. It was quite a poor area. I lived in a trailer with my family, and we were pretty poor. I then went out for a walk. I walked through town for a very long time, and eventually I came across a stadium. The stadium had a giant tented audience seat box thing (whatever they're called) around it. The tent that covered it was orange-reddish, but more orange. I went onto the box, and it was covered with hundreds of sleeping Canadian geese. I woke the geese up as I went near them.

Later on I went past the audience box thing, and I found a junk yard. This junk yard had a ton of garbage in it. There was also a track field in the middle of it, making the yard kind of shaped like a horseshoe. The area surrounding the junk yard was very forested. I entered the yard on the left side, where there was a giant structure with metal see-through floor, which lead to the audience box. I climbed over the garbage to get past the junk yard, but it was fenced on all sides except the front, so I just climbed to the other side of the entrance and went back home.

On the way home, I saw a lot of people from college. They were saying hi to me as I walked by. Eventually I got home.

Later in the day (or the next day, I can't remember) I went on another walk back to the junk yard. I got back there, and decided this time I would not climb the garbage. I just walked in, waited a few minutes, and left. It also looked like it was about to rain at this point.

As I walked out of the yard, I saw a flock of Canadian geese climbing the big metal object with the see-through floor to get into the audience box. I thought they were trying to not get wet from the rain. Then, it started raining. I started jogging home, passing by more college kids I knew. I saw a really cute girl I saw irl, and she waved to me. I waved back as I jogged home. The end.

I had a stupid, useless LD last night. It was a huge waste. Here we go:

I don't remember what was happening earlier, but I think there was something about a war. I'm pretty sure I had been walking around a Machu Picchu-like place, but it had been somewhat destroyed by battles.

Anyway, then I went to bed. It was not my bed, nor my bedroom. It was a big room, though. So I thought I had to check on something and hit the light switch, but nothing happened. My first thought was: "light switches sometimes don't work in dreams... THIS IS A DREAM!!!"

Then, I went through my list of goals. The first thing I wanted to do was summon Lea Michele. But I decided to truly turn the lights on before I did anything, since it really was dark. It didn't work, though. And my arms and legs were all weird, kinda like sleep paralysis? They'd move, but they'd be almost disconnected to me and then I'd realise I wasn't moving them at all. It was very frustrating, so I decided I should just wake up, since I could barely move and no amount of "this is MY dream, I'm the one with the power" was working.

Except that I couldn't wake up either. So I figured that the only thing I could do was "kill myself" so that I'd wake up. Not being able to move properly, my options were limited, but I managed to throw myself off the bed, head first. I knew I had broken my neck and I suddenly felt very warm and numb. Then it all went dark.

And I woke up on the SAME bed, which, again, was not MY bed. I didn't bother with the light switch that time, I just got out of the bed and shouted Lea's name. She appeared and I asked her to sing to me. She sang me something that was beautiful, but also made no sense. It was something about how stars' tears are always so high up in the sky, but also dry.

Anyway, then I went to hug her, but Lea wasn't Lea anymore, she was... old Lea. And this is when I lost my lucidity.

Even though she looked older than my grandmother - she honestly looked about my great-grandmother's age - she was still Lea, so I took her in my arms and started dancing with her. I couldn't bring myself to kiss her, but I could still dance with her... right?

Anyway. I woke up. Then I fell asleep again.

The war theme went on, but things were much more obvious now. I believe I was a soldier or something, but things were much more political than the last dream, where I had seen everything in ruins. I remember going somewhere to report something, except that then I ended up getting locked up with a political traitor.

Then, I realised that he was right and I decided that, if I ever got out of there, I'd also switch sides. Then, our "leader" (a president or something) came to see me. He told me that he knew how discouraged I was, but that he was willing to show me that he wasn't a bad man and that he was trying his best. So I decided to remain loyal to him. He was going to send me on a mission, but I woke up again.

Other dream:

I was running around with some other people. We were being silly, teenage-ish actions and all. Then, we saw this big apartment and decided to break in. This apartment was huge, mostly because it was actually many apartments in one. There was this living room that had countless doors, each door leading to a different room that could belong to different apartments. It was actually very interesting.

We walked in and we saw this old lady on this comfy armchair. She was asleep, but we moved around slowly and quietly. Until she started speaking gibberish, so we all hid. I ended up crouching next to her armchair. She was still asleep, but then she proceeded to make out with her leg. It was gross.

So I moved away and entered a different room. I started exploring all the many rooms there, seeing lots of bedrooms and a few kitchens as well. I don't recall seeing any bathrooms, which is a shame. I've been doing a RC everytime I enter a bathroom, so I believe I'd have gone lucid had I found one. But that's okay.

Anyway, halfway through my multiple-apartment-adventure, I heard noises coming from the living room and thought that my silly friends had woken the old lady up. I quickly went back there, always remembering to keep myself hidden, and then I found this woman there in the middle of the living room. She seemed surprised by our presence, but not threatened by us in any way. She offered me a glass of water.

And finally:

Once again, I was with a group of silly people. We entered this really long corridor. It was all white. There was a voice saying that there were doors there that would lead to different houses (sensing a theme there, I know). We wanted to check out the houses and we knew that some of the houses even had cameras.

The voice said something about someone having to get naked. We assumed that the voice wanted a guy, since it was a woman's voice. But then one of the girls lifted up her dress to one of the cameras in the corridor and the voice was really happy about it.

After that, we kept walking and exploring the corridor. I'm not sure how, but I ended up getting really close to a girl - maybe the one who had flashed the camera - and it felt like we were gonna have sex and I was super excited about it.

But then I woke up for good. Damn.

First night in my student flat; got woken up by a lot of new sounds and the infamiliarity of the place and bed.

I had a lot of dreams fragments, mostly of putting away my things in the new closet; dreams of things lurking in say closet, and inexpected finds in my bags.
Early this morning, I managed to catch a full cycle of sleep.

I'm in my new flat, and even though the drapes are closed, the light is strong enough to see perfectly. confident that I'm dreaming, I walk out through the closed window.* I ended up outside, in a strange place, a park full of people having fun at the fair. It's nightime here, but there is suspended lights everywhere, making the night bright and the leaves shine. I walk along the dirt path, taking in the fantasmatic view of all thoses exotics plants and stands and breathing in the smell of cotton candy and wet vegetation. I feel strangely nostalgic, and I see families with young children having a blast around me, passing by like I'm not really here. I don't mind it; I'm alone, but not lonely. The dream have this eerie quality, like morning fog; both thick and ephemeral. I want Eli to enjoy the atmosphere too, and I start looking for him. This end up being more difficult that I thought, and I run around, calling his name as the partying people walk around me without aknowleging it.
When I find him he all but fall in my arms, sending both of us tumbling down in the damp grass. There is a sharp contrast between the cold floor and his usual warm self. He is wraps himself around me as much as he can, tall and heavy, his breath warming my neck. I look down on his bare back, running my fingers along his spine, making him shivers when my nails graze the dimple just above his belt. I can feel his back moving with his breathing, slow and drowsy. He looks a little out of it, almost drunk. His weight prevents me from moving, but I like the cuddle, and keep gently stroking his back until I wake up.

*I'm on the second floor but the window is too small for me to simply walk through it; I pretty much phased through the wall. And ended up in a park and not floating above the backyard. Dreams amirite?

Eli was very flushered when I woke up, worken up about his attitude in the dream. It seem that there is such a thing as dream lucidity for tulpa, and he wasn't lucid in this shared dream. I will put more of the specific in my workbook in the tulpa forum.