non-lucid

This is going to be a long entry!

First dream: Can't teach a fish how to swim

I'm swimming in a river contained in a cemented canal, on the insistance of my cousin. It's sunny and a little windy, but the water is really murky and the few reeds growing in the cement crack are gnarly and sickly. Luckily for me, the water around me is a litle lest disrty and I can see a little through it; my cousin wears a dark blue one piece bathing suit and is coated with grim, save fore her hair and face. She looks like she used to a few years back, when she wore her hairs shoulder lenght and parted in the middle, with blonde highlights. We reach a platform with metallic stairs, there is a group of men here, calling us and reaching out. I grab the railing of the stairs and pull myself out of the water, with a little help. The air is hot and dry; even the strong wind is hot and I can feel my skin dry in seconds. I walk up the stairs to get out of the canal, we're in the middle of a large, dirt and sand plain with nothing in sight but the canal. My cousin doesn't want to get out, and she find the current in the middle of the river and swims with is away from us.

I woke up and did a WBTB, reading stuff and nagging Eli for around twenty minutes

secon dream: Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers/Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters

I'm walking around town with my family, it's even late dusk or early evening, the street lamps are lit but still there is some sunlight, that grey light that stay around after the sun itself has desappear. It's a pretty town, with old stones houses in terraces and stone paved road; it's clean and pretty touristic, even with the aerial electric line crisscrossing the sky overhead. I lag a little behind and tell myself Eli should be here. He walks up to my side and I realise I'm dreaming.
I smile to him and he wraps his arm around my waist with a smile of his own. We walk a little and he asks me if I want to do anything in particular. I snuggle against him, drawning a blank, until suddently I remember one of my objective: finding my animal totem. I grab Eli hand and excitedly tell him that I want my animal totem. He let me drag him around town and we find a small place with a little gathering of animals under a street lamps. I walk to them and ask which one is my totem animal. A giant, soft gray wolf wearing another wolf skin of the same color like a coat, with the other wolf head half covering her own, comes to sit in front of me. She have light gold eyes and dark gray nose, and a very pink tongue. She's a little on the gangly side, and her paws look almost oversized.* Her head is larger that a average wolf, with more slanted eyes. She makes me thing of a fox in disguise, but I still think of her as a wolf. I ask her her name, and she remains silent, staring intendly at me. I pet her head and scratch gently her neck, asking her name again. She shakes her head, making the wolf fur on her back slips a little, and give me a gentle headbutt. I ask her a third time, and I hear inside my head a feminine voice, ringing like a silver bell, telling me "Name me!" I'm startled and let go of the dream.

*Eli think it looked like a puppy. A puppy the size of a small pony.

Third dream: Seven days to live

I'm controling a man in a zombie apocalypse. The air is gray and yellow, he is in a urban environement with broken up road and falled buildings. I feel the controller in my hand, and it's like I'm overing over his shoulder. I know through story exposition that this apocalypse come from an airborn virus, and that some people like the man I'm controling are unaffected by it. I use the bumpers to have him jump through windows and fight of the infected. They aren't very resistant, and their skin tear like paper under the blow, letting their muscles fall out with lymph rather that blood. In fact, there's very little blood, maybe a couple of small scratchs on my character, as a way to let the payer know that their life is slightly depleted. I make him jump inside a dirty white bus and I fuse with him, and I'm the charater as myself.
This bus is going to a safe place with people immune to the virus, but we're aren't sure that all of us are really immune, and the atmosphere is tense. We keep the doors and windows as closed as possible; only people that proved that they were immune are allowed to get out. The bus have being gutted and the chairs remplaced by diner chairs painted white, with a backrest shaped like a giant echec piece, a knight. At first it's full, but after a couple of stop some chairs are empty. I walk trought the bus and see my cousin again, pouting, and a very old friend being pissy about having to stay inside the bus. I get out and go to speak with the driver, who show me that the bus is being fitted on rails to be able to travel through a very steep fall and up, like a roller coaster. I get vertigo looking at the fall and go back inside the bus, wondering if sitting in front will make is worse or better. I decide to sit in the back and my pissy friend is less pissy, and let me sit next to him.

D1 playing some rpg game with a serious lot of mobs in some big level (ive had dream with this fictional game in before)
I tank for someone to help them level up.

D2 - Milly and one other operative are competing over who will get the next mission from me xD They are briefed in a large lecture theatre.
Milly drives a very large white (!) car (its almost has dolphin curves to the sides) . Needless to say she beats the other person. We rendevous, parking our cars on a long stretch of road and talk standing by railings,

D3 - wake up to find staying in a cramped house. Downstairs in the kitchen/dinner im angry at not getting to sit with my family. i am a child. I refuse the breakfast and take a bite of something and run out of the house.
i am at the seaside the early morning is dark and hazy, the weather squawly. I climb a set of long wooden steps up over looking the sea. i plan to jump in and swim or drown (not sure) but when i look i am overcome by the vastness of the sea. large vessels look like tiny ants in the vastness if the inky black cold ocean.

D4 - My team, probably Milly and one other, are playing a chess competition. we are in a cramped badly lit room with multilevels and a low ceiling. the other teams are cheating two vs one. i try and persuade the team captain of this. she is unswayed, so i challenge her to a match to decide. i am not sure my superpowers will not stop working in this dream (they can be unreliable) and a agree to try next time.

D5 - At parents house a child i know stops a smaller one from waliking off with a motor bike. I thank him but do not trust him (he stole stuff at school) i make sure garage/gate/shed locked and warn parents.

D6 - dreamlet Milly has some cool looking blades, with holes in them, quite curvey and seriously sharp.

[comment]
pondering meaning of white (dream state) and animalistic tendencies
(2nd occurance in a dream, last time giant dark claw marks on white car)
car symbolise journey i guess
have read stuff about mamimilian brain and reptilian ?
with regard to frontal lobe activity during lucid dreaming

Non-dream
Non-lucid
Lucid

Dream 1 - Gym
I remember being on the pathway near the gym and looking out over the nearby green grass rugby field. There are the typical huge trees that are spaced alongside the walkway, but I don't recall actually doing anything

Dream 2 - The law
I forgot the better part of the dream and only remember the ending. I seem to be running after someone in the mall. I think I might be a girl? O_O. There is someone who is with me and while we're on the chase we pass through a clothing store. The store clerk is a young person who does something rude (like purposely gets in our way or pushes us).. This pisses me off, there are apparently laws against people like me hitting people like him (possibly sexism related?). My partner thinks we should just leave but I get this sudden 'I ain't taking shit from you' attitude . "Let's get him for that" I say, and trip up another young guy (he had a surfer kind of blonde afro hairstyle and a few pimples) who was just walking into the store. The guy stumbles forward and slams into the store clerk. The store clerk is on the ground in front of a changing room so I step over and casually open the door, slamming it into his face brutal. Apparently if a shop door hits someone then it isn't the fault of the customer, it's the store clerks fault ^_^ there are some weird rules in this dream. I seem to be a guy again (phew) and I need to go toilet. I'm with a few friends (John, Dave and another guy called Fraser) and I tell them I'm going to the restroom. I use the urinal and the others decided they need to go to, they all come and take a leak. For some reason I keep on going for ages, I started first and finished last ^^ such a weird dream.

I was in my living room, with two of my older sisters. Suddenly the chairman of "Law and Justice" political party, Jarosław Kaczyński appeared, and gave us his autographs. We were more than happy with this, despite none of us actually liking his, or any other political party.

I tried some FILD before falling asleep.
A little after falling asleep I go lucid, surrounded by darkness. I'm unable to keep it up and "fall" into an awake state. I immediately begin falling asleep again but I'm still a bit aware, I feel myself becoming paralyzed. At first this is exciting, I haven't experienced this since childhood. As I lose more and more control I begin to fear a pang of fear, not sure I want to go into SP after all. I begin to try as hard as I can to turn on my stomach and as I do I feel my body lumber toward the left. As I turn I see my body flump over and I'm looking down at it in the dark room, slowly floating up. Thinking this is also a sort of bad idea, I push myself back into my body and fall into the darkness of sleep.

I'm in the shoe department of a department store with some skater dudes. As I follow them I get bored and try to do a handstand but accidentally hit someone in the head with my feet, a father passing by. I feel embarrassed that I did that. The skater kick me on the ground as punishment, I accept it. As they kick me in the face, I feel that it is becoming a bit excessive.

I'm in a large, fancy house. One side of it has large windows that show the street, it's in the city. It's night time and I go up to the second floor where a hall circles the first floor. There is a show on with William Shatner about UFO's. I decide to draw aliens with ink in a notebook, perhaps they will come to life? (??) I draw one from behind, his large black eyes visible from the sides of his head despite it.

Back on the first floor of the house, it's now late afternoon, golden sunlight. There are a bunch of my friends down there. (The house must be one of theirs?) A friend bring chocolate mousse cheesecake, it's really good. I ask a friend of mine I see there if we are going to reschedule our meeting up that we missed last week. She says Tuesday would be good. We can meet in the local McDonald's.

Out back there is a large, fenced backyard with lots of bird cages. I see one on the patio, it has a small delicate bird in it and I feed it. I begin to fly around the backyard, I guess I have a jetpack? I zoom around feeding the various birds in their cages, they are on multiple levels, suspended and resting on large trees. The last of the birds are a bunch of chickens in a coop up on a tree. I try to feed them, but not too much.

I go back to my friends, it's dark outside and they are now out in the yard. My friend complains he ran out of candy, I laugh nervously saying that happens sometimes. His girlfriend seems upset about it and my friend yells out at me for eating so much. I feel a sting of shame.

Out back I see two robots that look like they came from the Warhammer 40K universe. A few criminals, badass skater guys, take me hostage as they drive off in a convertible to escape the law. We drive down the sepia colored evening road, it's like LA. There are two demons with us that look like a few monsters from the Nickelodeon show "Aaahh!!! Real Monsters". They try to drive the guys insane, rubbing up against them as they whisper vile things. "I will be inside you soon...."

Feb. 26, 2003:

I had a dream I was back in R__ near my aunt's old house, and I thought I could get back to her house from there, only everything was all different and the city just wasn't the same any more. It was like a maze, and every time I turned around, the streets change. So I couldn't get to her house; in fact, I got completely lost! Then I wound up going through this weird carnival type thing that I don't remember much about, only that it was weird. Only it wasn't a carnival, it was this crazy art exhibition, and people were doing all sorts of weird displays and performance art and stuff, except it was sort of scary in a way. And then I went through a playground only it was a really shoddy one and everything was all broken down (actually, that does sound quite like my aunt's old neighborhood...). Then I got to this one tenement that had never been there before, near where the old hardware store used to be, and it was all run-down and broken down. I met my old art teacher Mrs. D___ there and she said there was some guy there that I needed to meet, because she thought I'd be interested in the stuff he'd done and what he had to say. Turns out he was some great printer or something but everyone had completely forgotten about him in his old age, and I'd barely even heard of him myself. However, I went up there anyway, and he was waiting in his apartment... it was a real slum... he was just this shrunken, emaciated old guy with white hair and bleary blue eyes, he didn't seem like much, he was a hermit of sorts and never really went out, never talked to people or interacted with them, and sort of cranky, but once I started talking to him he actually seemed like he was a pretty nice guy, just really antisocial. I guess never going out and talking to people... they sort of forgot he was there, or that he'd done anything important. I felt bad for him.

So he asked me to show him some of my work, and I did. He looked at it and said it had potential, and told me not to give up, that art and the printed medium in particular could be discouraging but to just keep trying. Then he showed me some printing techniques. I don't remember very much about those, only that it looked like some sort of silk-screen but when you drew your finger across it, it made light, and you could actually etch these really neat luminous designs in it this way. So we sat and drew designs together, and then I heard Mrs. D___ calling me and telling me that I'd talked to him enough now and didn't need to be there any more, and then I woke up.

I'm underground, standing on a old stones pontoon. The only light comes from a arched window on the wall on my left, half covered with ivy and fitted with metal bars. There isn't any boat on the dark waters, but a narrow stones path run along the wall to another potoon with a old wooden door. It's pretty cold but I'm warmly dressed, and the place have a deep, heartly smell of soil, wet stones and thick foliage, with a sweet undertone of decay, like the floor of a forest.
I walk up to the door, careful not to fall in the water. I knock on the door and a middle aged blonde woman open it, asking me if I'm here to visit. I agree and she let me in. It's a old house, but well-loved; the wooden floor have the color and the shine of honey, and the walls are painted white. The ceiling are impossibly high, with long, swirling staircase going up to the upper level. There is very little furnitures, and the little that are scattered around are pretty broken down. I walk around, sometime crossing path with the owner. I reach a narrow, tall wooden door in a art déco style, and the owner agree to open it for me. It lead to a garden, big and untamed, yet I can spot littles details that tell me that it's a deliberate look, everything in it's exact place. I smile at the big almond tree, aware that in the spring its flowers smells amazing.

A very comtemplative dream, without a lot going on, but with beautiful sceneries.

This is all one dream but it’s probably out of order.

I was going to China with Niki. She had told me all about it, and had mentioned a hill that people would slide down for fun. It slowly came into view, and was a big city with buildings everywhere and medium-size mountains in the background, along with a giant hill on which people were sliding down. It looked quite fun. Then, while walking down the streets, I jumped up in the air and started to fly. I went higher and higher and soon was over the freeway. People were noticing and it was causing a traffic jam because everyone was looking at me. In fact, people were getting off the freeway just to get on again and go the other direction just so they could go the same direction as me and follow me. I was having a grand ole’ time flying up and down and all around.

I appeared in the middle of the ocean. There were big waves, and everytime a wave came I would go underwater to avoid it. Robin Williams was floating in the ocean next to me. He said something like, “in order to see the whales you have to ride out the waves” and it sounded, oddly, very meaningful coming from him. So I did just that, I rode out the next wave and a panda-colored whale stuck it’s head out of the wave. (wtf Melatonin)

Me and Niki were at the library and she was doing her homework. She knew about my new power so I asked her if she wanted to do her homework “somewhere else” and I was kinda shy about it because I was still unsure of it. She said “not really” but I convinced her and we went to the UCLA library(which I just assumed would be a big fancy library). We appeared in the parking lot and there we met this popular sorority girl who tried to show us around and give orientation because she thought we were new students, but I wanted to leave and go have more fun.

I met this popular bitchy girl, who I was supposed to help with something. I think she killed someone and I was like screw this and went off on my own

I was outside with my cat and we were going to fly home, so I jumped into the air and she was kinda flying next to me. I realized this was a dream but was having so much fun that I didn't care. I was getting really good at flying, it didn’t take me as long to get high up in the air and I was able to actually fly around(instead of just “swimming” up).

Me and my brother Sam were in memorial stadium and we were on the football team. The game wasn't going super well for us and I tried to say something to the coach and he said no, but you can turn around and smile. I then did turn around and found that there were a bunch of fans on the field for half time and I walked over to the side lines with sam and when I turned round when I got there mrs Ryew was also with us and then someone asked sam how he had become the team baker ( he had a badge that said he was team baker lmao)

10.26.15

This was yesterday during afternoon sleep, before my nightshift. Last day of nightshifts, as today I'm starting day - afternoon shifts.

I'm in Bulgaria, in a hotel by the sea. From the street it looks like rather small hotel, size of those in Miami beach. One side looks at the street, the other one on the ocean. It sits right on the sand. But the thing is, the sand is eroding and that make the building sit on a top of a 35 feet tall cliff made of beach sand. We are laying outside on towels when one of us starts to slide down. I grab him by the hand but when I see somebody else safely sliding down the steeply sloping cliff, we slide down too.

We are trying to decide wather to move someplace else, ecause this might be dangerous.

I look out the window and see a low tide. I go outside wanting to walk along the beach for a long distance, to look around. There are wet flat rocks where the water receded from and I'm looking at the distance to see if it's coming back soon. Someone points out a channel made in the rock that has water trickling in it, and that is the way water will return.

The whole scene is beautiful, authentic, detailed, colorful.

Now we are inside because it;s raining. It's dark outside. I hear 3 lound bangs as lightnig hits the top of the hotel which now is a huge tower, kinda like the Empire State Building. Someone jokes "3 bangs" referring to some scenes from horror movies. We say it was bound to happen, since it's the tallest building in the state and maybe of the hemisphere.

I look outside and there is a bright ball shaped object moving out of site and back. I start yelling "ball lightning" and I get a tiny bit uneasy. others look too.

Then I had this new version of "looking for a restroom" dream. I apparently had 3 buttplugs I had to take out. So I'm carrying a cheap plastic cup of oil with me, looking for a restroom. The cup is cracked and leaking and I'm holding my hand under it to catch the drips. But people are looking at me anyway. I come into a restaurant looking for a seat so I can do it in private, but I get frustrated thinking how is having a seat in the restaurant gonna help me? Its not the same as the seat in the restroom.

I was in a bus with mom. I bought an electric fan. It's connected to a power outlet in the bus. I thought it was stolen in the last bus stop. The bus moved ahead to the next nearby stop. I went down and waited for the guy I thought stole the fan. Turned out he was carrying a birdcage. Went back inside the bus. The conductor moved the fan.

In my room at home. I was sleeping, or at least lying down. Mom was outside the windows and said something to the effect of me just sleeping when we have no more money. She went into my room to turn off the fan. I got annoyed because I was still resting.

===

Notes:

- Earlier today, I got a message from sis hinting that she wants me to send mom money because she "forgot."
- Fell asleep last night thinking about how nothing really matters.

This is the end of part of a longer dream. I am being chased by a large bear. I am trying to run as fast as I can but my limbs feel heavy and un-coordinated. I think perhaps it is the shoes I am wearing but I have no time to take them off. The bear is getting closer and closer...

Before he gets to me I have the perception of what it is going to be like when he reaches me. But part of me still doesn't think that will happen.
And then it does happen - the bear is upon me and I feel his claws sink through my back into my torso, I feel the pain. I don't lose consciousness straight away however as I thought I would, instead, I realise that I am going to remain conscious for a little while longer, and that in the most disturbing reality ever, experience myself being torn apart.

I wake up then and realise that the experience is something that many consciousnesses experience throughout time and that as horrifying as it seems, it is also just an experience

Non-dream
Non-lucid
Lucid

My flatmate had a random burst of energy and offered if I wanted to go to the gym with him at 9:30pm. I ended up managing to get into bed around 11:30pm so my sleep wasn't that great. Interestingly though I decided to meditate before going to bed, and for the first time that I can remember, I actually felt myself falling asleep.. I think meditating in bed before I go to sleep might be good for me so I'll trial it again. I also had a whole bunch of WILD visions, where I could see the dream forming. It was pretty cool, it happened several times and each time it would dissipate (probably because of inexperience and because it was too early in the night). I woke up at 3am for a WBTB and decided I'd try meditating again. I did a mindfulness practice on my body, starting from the feet and working my way to the head until I held my whole body in awareness. Unfortunately I became too aware and lay in bed in a sort of borderline-sleep state from 3:30-6:00, bored as f*ck... I managed to recall two dreams (one from earlier in the night and another from 6:30-7:30).

Dream 1 - Compliment
More of a dream fragment, I was sitting in the lounge in my flat playing guitar and watching TV. No one was supposed to be home so I just decided to start singing. I love to sing but I REALLY suck lol, so I was just enjoying it . Then my flatmate Olly walks past and looks at me a bit surprised. I look up at him from the relaxed position I'm in as I sit on the couch. I don't seem to stop singing, I kind of keep going, trying to finish the verse I'm singing. It takes a few seconds and then he's like "Hey maybe your singing voice isn't as bad as you thought". Damn that felt nice hearing him say that ^_^

Dream 2 - Awesome dad
I remember being with my dad and he was driving us away from my university. We were heading to the university that he worked at (he doesn't in RL). It's not as prestigious as my own university, its reputation is that some of the people are a bit dumb . We arrive and enter through a white archway front entrance and rolled into a small courtyard with parking all over the place. There's a narrow road with diagonal parking spaces but they're all filled up, we drive down there anyways hoping to find a space at the end. It feels so vivid it's unbelievable. Like I can remember lots of random details... The sky was bright blue, I remember the clothing that some people wore (kind of artsy looking students, upon looking at them I thought they had some kind of school uniform too). I can remember the main building and how the windows looked (far too hard to explain), and I remember peering outside of the window to my left and spotting some cute looking girls looking my way . I thought to myself that this university would have been cool to go to, the whole place felt alive. I was still in the car with my dad driving down that narrow road looking for a park, but we reached the end and nothing. He then starts backing up the car and just goes so fast, he's looking behind us as he drives and looks so comfortable driving. I think to myself how good at driving he must be, especially since the road was so narrow. It really blew my mind. I notice also how damn long the road seems to be, was it always this long? We've been reversing for ages. I know that the road wasn't this long when we first went down it (low level awareness but I didn't get lucid). We're finally out and he turns the car around. "How come you didn't send me to this university?" I ask
"Because I worked too damn hard" he replies (or something along those lines). He wanted me to go to a good university, though in RL he had no influence on my choice ^_^.
I have to go back to my university now, so we both step out of the car. The place around us is quite active, there's a lot of people walking around since it's the middle of the day at a university. I run around the car and give my dad a big hug, "Love you dad!" I say with a profound sense of affection. I felt like my dad was just awesome . I wasn't even the slightest bit embarrassed about all the people that were looking at us. I head to the front entrance of the university by myself so I can catch a taxi home. The end.

I get nervous about losing my DJ, so I keep it in more than one place.
I'd also like to consolidate it and get all of the rest of it onto here for easier searching and tagging.

Feb. 16, 2003:
I had some dreams I really don't remember, except that they weren't nightmares. Then I had dreams about woods, but they were nice dreams. Then I had a dream about a puppy. It was sort of scary but the end was happy, so it doesn't qualify a nightmare.

Then I had a sort of semi, psuedo-nightmare, but the puppy was still involved... hmm... oh well.

In my dream I was walking through the woods. They were more like deciduous woods, though. Not sure if they were Florida woods at all. I encountered a tall man with light brown hair. I can't remember what color his eyes were, or if they had a color. All I remember is saying "I remember you" and asking him his name. He wouldn't tell me his name

Then there was the dream about the puppy, I don't remember much except that the puppy was going through a temple to save some people, and in the end the puppy managed to save them. It was smallish, sort of like a terrier, with silvery black fur, only it had floppy ears. It was a VERY cute puppy, though.

Then I had a dream I was in a car with J__ following another car through some sort of theme park, and his brakes gave out. Somehow, though, we made it through that alive, mostly because the guy in front of us used the back end of his own car to slow us down (everything was mostly downhill so we would have kept gaining speed). The guy was NOT pleased that he had to total his car, but... hey... we didn't die.

So much music references

I'm in a university with a friend. We have to take shelter in the gym, as there is a risk of flood or hurricane, I'm not sure which one. The light is muted and grey, there is big windows all around the building* and we're sitting on long plastic benches. I'm cold, probably because I'm only wearing a tank top and jeans, without shoes or socks. The crowd's conversation is a white noise, my friend is checking her phone but the service is spotty, probably because of the storm. I can hear wind, which make me feel even colder. I get glimpse of a dark haired man, on a screen**. Another man, with long, white-blond hair, come and sit next to me, wrapping his arm around me to warm me up. He feels familiar***, and I'm more that happy to snuggle against him. He doesn't seem to mind my cold hands and keep me close, with a knowing smile.

*I sort of feel like this isn't a good idea to take shelter next to big windows in case of hurricane but why not...
** Eli told me that he "peeked" in my dream, but he thought that I didn't look like I needed him.
***It's the same man that in my Barely not Safe for Work dream. He is more friendly here. Or less, depending on your point of view