non-lucid

I stood in the dirt-floored traces of a wooden barn. There are stables all around me and a high ceiling which may surely be infested with bats amass. I stood in simple dark clothing, as I remember. There were chains around me, binding my arms and holding my wrists to my chest. My feet were weighed down with shackles, the rattling of the chains was incredibly loud.

Behind me was a large brown horse, one whom I am familiar with in real life. One belonging to a dear friend. Yet, behold, in front of me there was a powerful white horse, one whom I have never met. There is steam pouring from the nostrils of the hoofed beast, and there is the presence of another friend whom I know in the waking world. I am given the concept that he has trained this horse to fight and it intends to kill the horse behind me and will stop at nothing to complete this. Even if that includes tearing me apart.

The horse storms forward and I struggle in place. However, just in the instant before death, I rip the chains from me like paper, miraculously. The horse rouses on its hindlegs and I deliver a strong blow with my fist to its underbelly, knocking it down. I look back to observe the brown damsel-of-a-horse which I have saved from the snow-furred fury. To heartbreak, I find no one behind me. Not even tracks in the dirt below; only the still doors of empty stables.

It's about five in the morning. The early morning sun shines onto the gravel of the parking lot, casting long shadows.

My brother and I sitting in a car. I'm in the driver's seat, but the car is parked, and the two of us are just looking at the houses on the street over.

There's some kind of argument, and idly, I imagine a spark near one of the houses.

Suddenly, there's smoke billowing from the windows of the house closest to the spark. Good job, me, bringing innocent bystanders into our argument.

I jump out of the car, shouting "Come on!"

My brother follows me to the house. I ring the doorbell twice -- come on, come on -- and a sleepy-looking woman answers the door.

I point out the billowing smoke, and she thanks me for my concern but tells me that's it's normal.

***

Later, I'm with my mom and brother visiting someone.

"We should get back home," I tell my mom, looking at the approaching storm.

The thunderstorm approaches at the speed of a semi truck, the first pellets of heavy rain hitting the ground in a continuous wave.

"Too late," says my mom, and we duck to the floor of the room (which is on the top of the house) and I'm holding up a floor mat to try to shield us both from the mud splattering into the room.

I was walking along by the side of a dirt road in the woods. I start to become lucid as I walked along. I then saw a train coming down the road. The train engine was made of crude riveted pieces of metal riveted together. As silly as it sounds, there was a jack-o-lantern face in the front of the boiler, spewing fire and smoke from its eyes and mouth.

I became lucidish. It occurs to me that I was at a very low level of lucidity for most of this dream. The train became animated, like it was going to eat me. I wanted to go off to the sides of the road, but there was a thicket of thorn bushes to either side. I tried to fly, but somehow I was told that the realm that I was in negated my flying ability.

I called in a hoverboard. I don't know where I got it, but it seemed to work. It even had snowboard clamps that attached it to my feet. I lifted off and started following the train. I was going only slightly slower than it. The first thing that I noticed was the smoke coming out of the smoke stack seemed to be howling. Closer inspection revealed the faces of people barely visible in the smoke, screaming in fear and pain, and combining to make the howling sound.

I fell back past the engine. The first train car was hauling three identical heads. They each turned to look at me as I past. All three of the heads appeared to be male with large, square noses and all black eyes. They had light grayish skin and no ears, and were completely bald. I could feel their gaze trying to investigate and judge me. I didn't allow them to see into me.

I wasn't paying attention to the background as it changed from the dirt road in the forest into basically a classical depiction of hell. A giant cavern, rivers of lava, screams of pain. A decent portion of the cavern was a projection of my own neighborhood. It looked as though the entire subdivision had been ripped from the ground and transported here whole.

The next thing that I remember was seeing Jonathan. He was riding a motorcycle through the air, trailing fire. He looked over at me and activated this power that turned him into a flaming skeleton. (Uhm wow, ghost rider much?) He then laughed and rode off.

I then got into looking for a way out. I couldn't quite dream-spin with my feet clamped onto the hoverboard. And there was no way, I was getting off. I decided I would try my best to have fun. After all, I wasn't flying using my usual method. I swooped down low over the neighborhood projection. I saw some people coming out of their houses. They looked confused as to how they had arrived here.

I remember I tried some maneuvering around the houses. The board worked very well for this. It had little reaction control thrusters all over. At one point, I nearly flew into someone's garage, but I pulled up and hung upside down for a second, before doing a loop.

I then saw an absolutely huge woman sitting on one of the houses. When I saw her, I immediately thought of Lust from FMA. Because that's exactly what she looked like. I somehow knew that she was the devil. She already knew what I wanted, was to get out. I knew I wasn't getting out. Her first goal seemed to be on disabling my mode of transportation. Without even moving, she projected her will onto the dream. She tried to attack the hoverboard, cause a malfunction. I saw a protective shield appear around it for a second. That's not happening.

She got up from sitting on one of the houses. I saw the dream glitch back to my normal neighborhood for a second, then back to hell. It was almost as if I were in both places at the same time. The people from my neighborhood were all watching the two of us now.

I almost dared her to attack me. I just looked at her, wanting to see what she would do. She began to look nervous. The dream glitched again. Back to the normal neighborhood. The glitches repeated and became more frequent until I fully transitioned over to being back in a fairly normal projection of my subdivision.

The dream carried on semi-lucid from there. I practiced some more tricks on the board and visited my old crush from high school. Her family was having a garage sale, and I stopped by. I think there were some other dream characters present too.

...

I also remember having a dream about being in my bedroom. My friend S was there, but he was stuck behind the dresser. I saw a large black and red spider eat another spider and got really excited because I thought it was cool. I told S to come over and look at the spider, but he was still stuck behind the dresser.

I then found a glasses case full of spider eggs that I figured were from the large red spider. I didn't know what to do with them so I threw them out the window.

Black: non-dream
Blue: non-lucid
Red: lucid

I waited too long to write this up, completely forgot as I got caught in the hustle bustle of the day >_<

Dream 1 - Trapped by a plant skirt
I remember I was in a school, it seemed to be in a gymnasium. Most of this dream I forgot but I ended up in a room and there was a girl in her school uniform that I was friends with, but she decided to play a joke on me. Her skirt turned into a plant, the hem extended down and then incased me. I seemed to remember getting let out and she was enjoying teasing me or something.

Dream 2 - Lucid on the roof (#13 more lucids to go until I've met my quota)
I remember being at my parents house when I realised it was a dream. I was out on the driveway facing the house when I looked at my hands. I walked forward towards the maple tree by the fish pond with the intention of 'testing' to see if I was dreaming. I placed my hands on the tree and willed it to go... Which it did, it grew smoothly into the air with me holding on. I then stepped onto the roof and walked forward a bit. I noticed how calm I was, the dream felt stable. I knew I had been dreaming for a while before becoming lucid so I figured I would wake up soon (this seems to be the case a lot of the time for me). At some point I had a banana which is the same one I have in my own house at the moment. In the dream it was slightly different though, like I had taken it out of the freezer and thawed it out. Its core was slightly colder, and it had a long bruise-line down its length. I bit into it a bit with the intention of discovering more about my sense of taste in the dreamworld. It was pretty interesting... I felt the cold and crystalline crunch of the interior mix with the softer smooth exterior... The taste was bang on and there was even that slight aftertaste lingering in my mouth for a few seconds. I threw the banana away and I can't recall what happened next.

Dream 3 - Getting changed
I seem to remember being in changing room thinking about what shirt to wear. A couple friends were with me. I then also presented my student ID card and the cashier gave me a ticket to some kind of event called 'lava flow'... I had a friend with me that wanted to go but he/she (can't remember) didn't have an ID card.

Dream 4 - Beat up an old pal
There are two groups of people in the area each living in a separate house. My group decided to surprise the other group with a fun game of tag, but like a warfare variant where you pretend to stab people or shoot them O_o. I think it's night time when we head over and start running around wreaking havoc, but they were apparently already playing a different game when we get there. I don't know where the rest of my group is and I'm in a dark hallway. I spot a girl running out and I 'pretend stab' her with an invisible knife. She seems confused as fuck. I realize just how awkward the situation actually is when they have no idea what's going on. I then ponder why the rest of my group hasn't made an impact yet and spread the word that the game is on... I decide to go look for them and turn left, opening a door to a well-lit room. As I walk in a spot my group all tied up together. I approach them and say something like "Hey girls" (even though they're all guys). My friend Daniel has these glittery hats on and I realize that they've had glitter and lipbalm put on them by the girls in this group... I notice that my comment probably offended them, Daniel just stands up and leaves without saying anything. I get a bit pissy when a different Daniel shows up and starts making out with his boyfriend (he's gay IRL so no surprises there). They were doing FAR too much in front of everyone and it just seemed rude, like they were just going at it in more than a few ways O_O. It pissed me off so much that I decided to smack some sense into him. I can't remember exactly what I did but I did something which took the whole scene too far. I suddenly felt like the bad guy in all this mess and just felt really down about it.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I live in a world confined to one large city, from which no one ever exits, at least that I know of. But I feel oppressed by this society and it's forms of control, so I come up with a plan to escape. I meet someone who works for the government and is also not so happy with life and glad to help me out. She knows of archives on the 66th floor of a governmental building, where every persons records are kept and some sort of tracking system. She gets me inside and I find my file and tracker and destroy it. But we are caught and soon an army of securities is heading towards us. I tell her to go away and blend in with the other workers, no one will know she was involved. I escape to the top of the building. Encounter some security, fight, steal a gun, use it against other securities. The gun is a mix of taser and laser. It shoots a kind of red ray that only activates when I press a red button on my gun, immobilizing the person shot previously. Not very practical, but it helps. I manage to reach the roof of the building. I see the city spreading in all directions. The truth is I have no idea if there's anything else beyond this city, never even seen its frontiers. But I dive in the void and fly away, from building to building. I will find out.

9.14.15

Last night:

DR:

I'm in a room with lots of small, one person cabins. Like in a public indoor pool. They have a small bench, few hooks for your clothes where you can change to/from your swimsuit. They all have doors on both sides.

I'm being chased by someone who wants to give me a tattoo. I don't want it so he wants to give me a shot to make me compliable. I get away and I'm making turns in this room, going in and out of the cabins to confuse and lose whomever is chasing me. I get an image of Ophelia's tattoo and I think that maybe I would let him give me that. I know I'm safe and I love these types of chase dreams. Exciting, but safe.

I somehow end up in different but nearby part of this complex. There are some metal beams where ceiling used to be. I'm walking on them, looking down. It's an old building. It used to be a prison. We ar exploring it with somebody else.

I come to a room with water in it and I realize it's a small swimming pool for the inmates. The metal beems are in the water too. As I get into water (I love dream water), I'm brushing against the beams and they are scratchy from tiny dots of rust that has formed all over the metal. The place feels really old. I realize that the inmates were not able to swim in it, only to immerse themselves to fight the heat.

This one was kinda lengthy. It all started in some new house I got. The house was incredibly technology focused. I apparently got the house because the kid that used to live there died. Creepy. Anyway, the house was huge, it had big rooms with wooden flooring, and it looked very much like a mansion. It probably was a mansion. I remember going into this kid's room, and seeing what he had. All the things he owned were now mine apparently, so I looked around for cool stuff. He had a bed that had drawers underneath it, so I remember pulling a drawer out and seeing a bunch of things. There was a little bit of various clothing, a GameBoy, a microphone, small portable speakers...
I even saw my own Pokemon Silver Cartridge in the drawer. I could recognize it because it has an old sticker on the back. There was a bit more than that, but that's all I can really pinpoint. The thing is, I own those things in real life. Even the GameBoy was purple, like the one I actually have. Something really didn't seem right. I picked up the microphone and showed it to my mom who was standing in the doorway. I had to remove it from the tangle of cords first though. I was excited specifically about the microphone for some reason, still not sure why I even would be. What frustrates me the most is that I ALMOST went lucid when I pulled out the drawer, but especially when I picked up the microphone. Something about touching things in dreams makes me almost lucid.

This happened before in a really old dream I had that has an entry here on this site. In "These Guys Want Their Pepsi" I'm pretty sure I picked up a football in this dream, and when I did, I almost went lucid just like in this one. Oh, but we're only 1/3 done this dream, so let's continue...

Then next part was that in the house near the entrance, but also near the kitchen, there was a button with the Steam logo on the wall, and I remember pressing it, then heading into a dark room. Maybe it was the bedroom again? I remember picking up some random toy and it was a transparent Walkie-Talkie that displayed the time digitally, and played music. The music was sort of alien-like, and I'm not sure how else to describe it. I remember there was a big screen in front of me at this point, maybe for a gaming console? My mom was there and was trying to play something for some reason but I kept on having to guide her through the basic menus. Sounds like something I'd actually have to do in real life if she ever decided to play my PS3. Oh joy. I'm not sure what happened after this, but next thing I know, I'm a soldier in a series of tunnels. A series of very very hot steel tunnels. There's a bunch of automatic doors, and other soldiers. Eventually everything started to get hotter, even though I couldn't actually feel anything. Everyone's armor was just glowing orange and melting, killing the people inside the armor too, obviously. It didn't happen to me, I took off my helmet and I was able to get out somehow. The tunnels all turned glowing orange from the heat and started collapsing. Not sure why all that happened. Now for the next part...

I was suddenly very far away from the mansion and the tunnels, walking down the street with a woman who was (apparently) my wife. Then suddenly out of nowhere, we gazed off into the distance and saw a HUGE explosion. Like a disaster level explosion. My wife and I started running down the road very fast. The shockwave never came, but the explosion itself was heading our way. It was pretty far from us, so we had some time. We ran and ran... All the while, she was behind me, so I was never able to focus on her face. We came across one black car on the road that looked like it belonged in the 1930's. It stopped for us, and without saying anything, I opened one of the rear doors, and saw that the car was full. My wife closed the door quickly and the car sped away.
I never really thought it was creepy at the time, but the 4 people in the car were all dressed in 1930's attire, and as soon as I opened the door, they were all staring at me with a bleak expression on their faces. There appeared to be two women and two men, from what I can remember. My "wife" ran on ahead somehow without me even seeing her, and I ran to some random place. I ran inside a building and was stopped by a woman. I asked her what this place was and she said it was the Disaster Center. I remember asking through panting where my "wife" was. She was just around the corner in some waiting area. I joined her, but for some reason was instantly transformed back into my normal self, and my "wife" took the form of my mother. She was sitting down chatting with her friend who had 3 kids. I remember having a lunch there with a ton of things in it, peach yogurt, potato chips... A bunch more stuff I can't remember. The youngest of the other woman's kids was a toddler and started trying to take my food, one item by one. As soon as one was taken, I'd take it back immediately. This went on for what actually seemed like at least two whole minutes. Eventually I got the hang of it and started predicting what food item the kid would go for next. I shouted "Stop taking my food!" and then suddenly everything changed again. This next part happened right before I woke up. For some reason, I was out of the dream now, but it kept going. ( You know, when a dream sorta becomes a movie that you watch.) It was about two "monster" parents letting their daughter be a part of monster combat training...? This really reminded me of Monsters Inc... Some big monster boss guy said that her colors made her more unique.

Then, I woke up. That was the longest dream I've had in a while, whoa. And all that was still the third dream I had last night. (Check previous entry for other one that I remembered little of, and the other one that I remembered absolutely nothing from.)

3 dreams happened last night. The first one I don't remember really, but I do remember enough of the other two. I feel as though the last one deserves its own entry though.

1. ???

2. I was in what appeared to be a school library, sitting down on the floor with a friend of mine, playing my 3DS system, although on the top screen on the right, it had another circle pad, covered in a piece of cellophane plastic to protect it I guess. I don't remember what I was playing, but I remember someone who I actually know who is really super annoying came over and started to bother us. I remember answering his questions in a very annoyed tone, while keeping my face glued to the screen of my 3DS.

3. -See next entry-

There was definitely more to this dream than I can remember.

I know that we (Dakota and I) were outside of the trailer park. The place seemed to be a bit more popular than what it actually is, and I think the vice principal of my old high school was in the trailer closest to the road. He was sitting out at the side, on his porch (which doesn't actually exist) when we walked by. I remember that the stars seemed to be doing something strange . . . I believe there was a very detailed constellation of a little girl in the general area that Orion is at these mornings.

I'm sure that we were causing some manner of mischief, but I don't know what.

After that, at some point I was on either this site or tulpa.info, and someone (a member called Fede, I believe) was talking about lucid dreaming.

Side note: I'm very glad that I dreamed about lucid dreaming! Even though I'm really only shooting for LDs during the weekends, I'll be more than happy to have them on the weekdays, too. I had four hours of sleep, so perhaps I should take note of that.

I came upstairs and saw that no one was using the xbox, my brother was sitting on the lounge in front of it so then I went in my room and looked at my xbox 360 games and they all were unorganised, messy and not in alphabetical order like usual (I like to be very organised) and I noticed that I had some PS3 games even though I do not have PS3, I then realised that I must be dreaming as my games weren't in alphabetical order (It's funny how I noticed the tiniest little thing is a dream when I was fighting a dragon the other night ) I plugged my nose and tried to breathe through it but it didn't work so I concluded I wasn't dreaming.

#1 [A Strange Child] ~Non-Lucid~

I awoke within the dream on bedraggled pavement - I faintly recall the feel of and emanating odor of the grass. A young adolescent, no older than 25 I think, is what triggered my awakening. He stopped and stared at me asking me if I was going to join them. I responded: "Join what?"
He did not answer me and interestingly I was incredibly preoccupied with why I couldn't remember this man's face or name. I preceded to stand upright - immediately I felt a strong pain in my legs forcing me to genuflect. Just as fast as the pain came on I shoved it - almost as if I didn't feel anything. Seemingly disremembering the pain I took notice to my surroundings.
I faintly recall a large quantity of old boxes, scattered about pipes and such giving me the impression of a dilapidated warehouse not used in decades. A skip in my recall occurs here. I recall being outside, possibly mid-day, I believe there was a breeze. A different man, possibly no older than 25 as well, put his hand on my shoulder and shouted.
Initially I was annoyed, however I discovered there was a pack of wolves retaining selter within a run-down school bus. Now contemplating the atmosphere was somewhat apocalyptic, but that's besides the point. I thought upon glancing at the wolves we would be in serious trouble so to speak. But 'my friend' successfully intimidated them.
Another skip in recall. Now 3 individuals, the same two from before. The one who place his hand on my shoulder was smashing a tipped over trash can with a bludgeoning object, maybe a bat. The other -from the beginning- was reading which I thought was out of the ordinary.
The last one, was much younger, a child, perhaps no older than 10 and he was staring at me. A frightening force saturated me, I could not budge it. As I was panicking my 'background' changed, almost resembling the pages of a book with words spinning about. I began taking notice to the spinning words to discern what they were. Disremembering the earlier feeling of panic I became occupied with the words of which I don't recall being able to decipher.
Then suddenly I began fading and it happened entirely too quickly to feel it's effects - awakening me in actual life.

[I used very expressive language, but I believe I remained true to my recall. It was my first Dream Journal so I am little out of my element.]

Note:
- I can't quite remember what order everything was in... but I'll go with my gut.
- As soon as the "lucidity" kicks in, I feel like it was fake. Like the lucidity was part of the dream and not really my conscious.

[Plot begins]:
I'm at some store (my brain tells me it's Ollie's) with my family. I round a corner and see this girl who I pseudo-broke-up with a long time ago (long story).
[Note: The day before, she'd shot me a pleasant look when I coincidentally saw her]
She sees me, and acknowledges me, not saying anything. Immediately, the awkwardness sets in, and I make my way out of the store. However, I hear her say under her breath something to the effect of: "There he goes again, saying nothing..."
This gave me the courage to turn around and go up to her.
I say, "Hey... How've you been?"
She looks down and says, "Pretty good... you?"
"Same." I say. There's this aura of wanting to reconcile, when she says:
"Do you want to make some plans?"
And I say "Yes."


[End plot; change setting]
I'm floating above this game world very similar to Minecraft and panning around (it's filled with tons of people). For some reason, I know I'm lucid and I think to myself: Yes! Now I can do the TOTM! <-- (Not really; I just wanted to pee on a DC)
Immediately, I fly over to this train station. There's this statue of a fat, drunk woman with *erm* improper dress holding a graduated cylinder full of pink liquid. I find Ron Weasley and a bunch of other DC's. I chase one of them and try peeing on them.... and I wake up. But I'm not sure if I really woke up or if I had a false awakening; this whole thing was pseudo-lucid.
Repeat the above step several times.

[Fragment]:
I look to the skies and fly straight up, but the trees never stop getting taller... odd.

[Wake up.]

Waking up after a dream that your husband was kidnapped? Quite a relief.

Having to tell him that we might have been inducted as part-time members of the Wild Hunt? Maybe not so awesome.

***

Cernunnos (KER noo nohss): the Celtic Horned God.

Ravana (rah-vuh-nuh): antagonist in the Hindu epic Ramayana, follower of Shiva, king of Lanka, and depicted as having ten heads.

***

I'm standing at a window, looking out into the forest. It's midday, and sunlight streams down onto the meadow that leads from the trees to the house.

Movement. A deer appears, walking confidently from the forest. He has ten heads, all of them focused down the road beyond the house.

I'm kneeling at the window as the deer goes by, close enough to touch. He's almost gone past. I hesitate, then tap on the glass.

All ten heads swivel towards me, ten pairs of eyes focused on me, just beyond a thin pane of glass. I flinch at the idea that I'm getting the attention of this king of the forest the same way that disrespectful children get the attention of animals at the zoo.

I'm sorry to bother you, I tell him. I saw you, and I know I'm not supposed to. I thought you should know.

He stares for a moment. Then, a few of his heads dipping to look back down the road, he tells me:

Come with me.

***

We're at a bar. In the interim, I've learned more about our world's masquerade, been inducted into a secret society, and given my husband the necessary introductions.

"At one point," my husband tells me, "Four of his heads swivelled around to look at me." His implication, it was creepy, remains unsaid. This is a supernatural bar, after all, and the king of the forest is never too far away.

"He gave you half his attention," I say, tapping on my glass. "Imagine having one hundred per cent of it on you."

I shiver at the memory of ten pairs of eyes looking into my soul.

***

Not even 24 hours, I think to myself. Not even long enough for the police to get involved.

And yet here I am, asking for a god's audience—to demand help to find my missing husband. Because I know that they've taken him.

The king holds his court under the stars. He stands in the centre of the dais in anthropomorphic form, wearing dark maroon robes. I can feel the weight of his many eyes on me... but it feels like a weight has been lifted off of my chest. The decision has already been made. I can breathe.

I need access to the network of cameras along the highway, I tell the god. They may be a long way from here by now, but even they would need to stop for gas.

The heads that are looking my way nod in recognition, and the god raises a hand on his left side, a soft movement gesturing at the man behind him.

I'm standing at the railing, the scrutiny of the court no longer resting with me (but watching, always watching). The man in the suit (the god's left hand) looks down his nose at me, a faint sneer on his face. New favourites of the god already asking for favours, I can practically hear him think.

I'm calm, going through the motions with the mechanized precision of a person in mid-crisis. (Fight or flight or solve the goddamn problem.)

"Thank you for seeing me," I tell him, even though we both know he had no choice in the matter. And then I change gears. "I'll need one of your techs to go through the footage with me. I can't do it myself this time—"

this time, because that's the world we're now a part of

"—but next time this happens to one of our people, I'll be able to help."

A flash of emotion across his face, too quick to identify, and his eyes warm somewhat. "I'm {error

"-Anderson," he says, catching my hand in a firm handshake. "Welcome to �����."

Warning: graphic violence and sexual themes. Incredibly awful nightmare ahead.

Night falling, there is a strange broadcast on the radio. The muffled voice of the news anchor delivers the story that a group of men are going house to house and murdering families. I was shocked to hear this and there was a certain aura of doom about those words. In that moment I hear a commotion from down the road and a desperate, blood-curdling scream from a woman. The glow of a fire I can see in the reflection of the windows of the house across the street. I do not hesitate, but I grab my family and we trek through the woods behind the house, hiding in the pitch black of the forest in the middle of the night.

There we sat, fearfully. More screams were in the distance and I heard the sound of bombs detonating, guns firing, and screams pouring out into the night air. I listen in shock as my house is destroyed and I can see the glow of the fire rising over the treetops and brushing the underbelly of the clouds. They had caught onto us and began moving through the woods in a hot pursuit. I caught a glimpse of them, men in jackets and hoodies, wearing black gas masks. I run and run but my feet fail me. For some reason I am running in place, unable to move forward. I am tackled and dragged out into the street where two more masked men join me. One holds a staple gun and the other a serrated knife. I scream as I am pounded by a thick silver blade and shot in the leg with multiple metal staples.

Somehow I am laying alone in the street. The bombers are still ransacking the town, running about the roads. I got up and began running, somehow my wounds no longer afflicting me. I kept running until I reached my grandmother's house, a few miles away. It had also been completely obliterated. Rubble was everywhere and the remains smoked heaping black clouds into the air. Rounds are fired into the air all around me.

I then see the world behind the hard glass eyes of a gas mask. There is a medical needle in my hand filled with a strange black fluid. I stand with a group of other men, all wearing gas masks. I noticed that I was also wearing a black hoodie and dark sweat pants. They break the door of the house down and we began to move inside. There was a man inside with a shot gun, firing a round square into the chest of another madman. He dropped dead. I watch as another masked one punches the shotgun out of the man's hand and forces him into a bending-over position. With a hatchet he immediately beheads the man.

We moved throughout the house in search of more inhabitants. It took some time, but we stumbled upon a hatch in the wooden floor and pried it open, finding a woman and two children inside. As we dropped into the basement, they grabbed a hold of them all and began to strip them down until they were completely nude. They screamed, struggled, wailed. The children are molested and then I am invited over to them. One man shoves the little girl towards me. I inject her along the side of the neck with the needle and she begins to cough up blood. She falls and I emit a demented laugh, unlike any laugh I have ever heard. It was sick and vile and hellish. As the girl drops dead, the boy is brought forward. I notice that he is very young and obviously has not gone through puberty yet. I inject him under the chin, in the soft of the throat. He falls over as well. The woman is then brought to me, and after she is raped, I lay my needle down into her breast and she dies.

I blink, and I am somewhere else. I am myself again. No mask. No anything, for that matter. I was completely naked and my hands and feet were tied behind me. I am surrounded by more men in masks who throw several naked women next to me. In that instant they pounce upon us, ripping off their own clothes and defiling us. I am desecrated and afterwards lie there, screaming and crying. We, the victims, curl into the corner of the room together. We are all naked and I am the only male, yet I am far more afraid than they are. We are all a giant pile of pale, cowering flesh rubbing up against each other. I hide my face in the hair of a lovely young girl who is covered in blood.

Suddenly, someone else enters the room... It is me. An exact copy of myself, only dressed in dark clothing and wearing a plastic face mask. My double was carrying a large machine gun and began mowing down the madmen. Once the final enemy had fallen, he approaches me and helps me up. The other girls are still clutching to me and are holding to me as we stand together. Clothes appear on our bodies and we move outside. There are police cars roaming down the road and I see fallen bodies in gas masks scattered everywhere. They are in every lawn and every block and all across the road. The police vehicles squish them under their tires.

I stand there, watching. My double in the plastic mask is vanishing into the distance. I watch as he pushes into the bushes, falling under cover of the forest.

9.13.15

Sleep before the night shift.

Didn't want to record it, but something tells me I should.

I'm at my family in K. Half or most of them are already dead and I kinda remember it, but push it aside and not get scared by it. I get a text from my mom. One family member, I think it's my godmother pokes her head in the door and tells me that my father had probably died and that's what the text is about. I look at the screen but can't read it. I need to get on the internet and download it through the client. My cousin tells me his internet is not working or something like that, but I somehow make it work and I'm finally able to read the text. Its something funny and not important, my mom just wanted to let me know something. I knew that was the case, but at the same time, I made peace with the bad news as well.