non-lucid

I'm with a golden haired man with short, slicked back hair. He pulls me in a car and I have to drive it through a underground parking lot. It's decrepit, the cement is stained and pitted, with the metal bar embedded in it sticking out like bones from a carcass with rust leaking out. Part of it is falling appart, blocking some roads. I try to find my way in it, my compagnon not very helpful. He does give me some direction, and we reach a back-end. I turn the car around, telling the man I won't let him get us into trouble if we need a quick guetaway.

I find myself in a house with my family, namely my mother, her brother with his dog, and my sister. They were out to the beach and everyone is tired, my mother sleeping on the couch in her still wet clothes with a blanket over her. I notice a piece of paper poking out of her pocket and take it without waking her up. There's in fact two papers: on of them is too wet and desintegrate into a pulp, bu the other is still mostly whole. I read part of it; it's a very heartfelt letter from my father, written just before or after my sister's birth. It's written on a prescription paper, with the heading of the hospital he worked in when I was very young. It's typical of him, and rather sweet. I carefully lay it flat on the table to dry, feeling lot of love for both my parents.

Finally, I wander outside that room to a living room with french windows opening into a stone terrace with iron-forged garden furnitures. There's a crew of cameramen here, filming what seems to be a business lunch. There's a dozen of people in suit, both men and women, eating an expensive salad in the sun. I'm lurking inside, not wanting to be filmed. I look around the room, there's a desk with a handful of pens and some letters, but I don't pay close attention to it. There's also a big cardboad box. I take off the lid and there's a big, pitch black rabbit in it, on a bed of hay. I pick it up and hold it close to me, it's as big as a cat and very fluffy, with a downy belly. I'm careful to keep it's legs tighly hold so it can't kick, but it's a very chill rabbit and it let's itself being carried around like a big furry baby. I walk to the other side of the room and find a stone wheel going down. There's growling coming from it, deep below. I call in it and something come up; it's sewage, dark and sluggish, with a white mouse swimming in it. I take it out of the sewage, but I didn't caught it properly and it twists out of my hand and fall to the floor before running away. I'm not very sad about it, since it was dripping wet and dirty. I gently put the rabbit down and pat it's head before opening the door for it. It hops out and I go back to lurking next to the windows. One of the people eating, and handsome man with olive skin and strong, patrician features, looks up and away from the lunch and right to me. He seems to recognizes me and his cold, calculated smile turn into an incredibly warm, sweet one. He politly but quickly excuses himself from the table and gets inside. He's tall and broad-shouldered, with cropped, very curly dark hair. I reach up to his face, and he catches my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine. His hands are as big as the rest of him, making me feel small. He smiles and cups my face with his other hand, it feels very warm and slightly rough, probably from calluses. I smile and coyly look away.

[Notes]:
- By simply focusing on HI as I lightly fell asleep on a road trip, I was able to catch some of the following dreams before waking up.

Lucid Non-Lucid Non-Dream

[HI #1]:
There’s something about this indistinct figure (me? clear person?) buying a shotgun. The shotgun was kinda invisible, with only a couple contours being visible. The figure loads a red shell into it (from the side; it was a sideways-break barrel). There’s some notion of him not being able to have it. Glasses, top hat, trenchcoat? Kinda like Murdered: Soul Suspect.
Looking at the same mall as the Harbor Freight, from about 20 parking spaces back. There’s this brown, thick smoke originating out of nowhere, and it floats to the left, leaving a thick vapor trail. It appears to start getting constrained, as if there’s a clear glass tube around it. The voice of mom says “That unattended mule can drive.”

[HI #2]:
It’s a 50’s commercial. Panning back from the Portal cake, with this plank moving above it. A woman says the motto: “Dozens of bunches for every twelve hundred you choose.”

[HI #3]:
This was created by purposefully thinking of a random story based on random thoughts. I would guide it into a dream semi-consciously, letting my subconscious as well as my conscious work together.
It started off with a strange apparatus that looked like an old telephone hanger, but my brain immediately concluded it was a lighter that hung on the wall. People would go up to it and light their cigarettes, cigars, among other things. It simply zapped whatever you put into it. The young, cartoon-ish inventor, in a top hat, looked to “the camera” and said, “Hey! I’ll call it the auto-lighting lighter -- the auto-lighting-er -- the Auto-Lighter!” Poor people of the proletariat (scruffy lookin’ dudes with grey clothes) would enter businesses solely for the use of the Auto-Lighters, and this caused some civil strife.

Morning of January 3, 2016. Sunday.



I am flying throughout my dream (with no backstory in mind) yet I do not recognize that I am dreaming at any point, which is curious.

Mostly, my actions are illogical since I probably could just fly off to my right at any time, to find another location or region to land in, but I do not want to land in any area directly below me yet (or off to the left where there seem to be more forests being cut down), where my attention is mostly held. I do not want to land because the area is a very large lumber camp, which seems to go in a continuous arc, though it is not clear what is off to my right from this arc - probably the ocean or possibly an undefined and unrendered area where I cannot “really” go or an implied barrier (divided by liminal space, though I am not lucid enough to consider this possibility as dream-based) which I cannot go past.

It seems that the lumber camp is very active in most sections and for whatever reason, I sense the workers are very hostile to intruders of any kind, including wayward flying people. After all, they are destroying the landscape, so probably would destroy anything (including people) in their path (as I do not reason they are doing it to provide for people as they likely may be). In one way, it seems like a miniature landscape (of about one-quarter scale), but this seems a possible distortion of my perspective. I do not fly close enough to the ground at any point to see that much.

There is another distortion, something almost abstract but related to having to write something in a journal or notepad (while flying?) while just outside the perimeter of this range though which causes additional frustration. My flight path is continuously aligned to the semicircular lumber camp, which seems to go on like this for a considerable distance. This of course makes no sense, as if such was the case, I would be flying in a circle yet I seem to be going in only one direction in my dream and the land features below are consistently different as well.

---

There may be some sort of association with circumventing and circumference, as this was one of those dreams that seemed to “self-title” itself after waking, something I have experienced fairly often since around the age of eight.

I remembered some short fragments of dreams. Before that I had some dreams that I didn't remember. First I was on a school bus with my boyfriend. There were a few other people on the bus but most of the seats were empty. There was a window open near the front of the bus and a nice breeze was coming through. We liked the breeze. I was lying in the bus seat feeling euphoric because of the breeze and my boyfriend was looking at me over the top of the seat in front of me.

Then me and my boyfriend were in the apartment. I mounted a fan to the wall near the broken air conditioner. We were happy thinking the fan was going to function as an air conditioner and blow cold air on us. I turned it on and it didn't seem to be working very well.

Then I was leaving some place with a friend but as we were walking to the car I wanted to spend more time with him so I asked him if he wanted to go shopping and he did. And since we were already at a strip mall we just walked into the next store, which was a large hardware store. The next store was an auto parts store. We weren't really shopping, but just walking around and talking.

I am watching Tekken on the television and notice the intro was not going the way it was program to. I quickly recalled that in waking life if I were ever put in a little scenario like this to assume I am dreaming. I continue watching and figure out there's no way a malfunction would go this far. I became aware I am dreaming.

Here's a couple more I couldn't write down 'cause I didn't have my computer.

Dream: Night before last
Dreamed I was having Alex (the bae) watch Pirates of the Caribbean with me 'cause he hadn't see it. But since I was dreaming it was a very different account of Pirates of the Caribbean... the pirates were all enslaved by a rather un-piratey, non-sea-related witch. As a result they were all pretty miserable. Then a somewhat younger girl showed up to try to free them all, and for a while I was her. I managed to halfway free the pirates, which got the now-angry witch's attention. She turned on me and I had the distinct impression, similar to what happened with Mr Blue Wife Beater a couple nights ago, that I didn't stand a chance vs her.

This is kind of an unusual feeling for me, because I sort of expected that if someone who wasn't a monster came at me ready to fight, I would be all over them because I love fighting. But now, not only did I not feel like trying to decimate these guys, I also got the impression that I had no hope of defending myself, so both times I didn't try and just got messed up. It's weird. I feel like defending myself should be an automatic instinct, but it hasn't been lately.

At any rate, in the next moment this crazy magic-using woman was all over me, throwing me to the ground and shaking me. And the dream cut back to Alex and I watching the movie on the couch together, watching this enraged magic lady slam this girl into the ground over and over. I was like, "This is just like when a spider's wrapping something up," 'cause that was honestly what I thought and honestly what it looked like, it wasn't the dream putting words in my mouth. It was so violent and deliberate.

When the magic lady stood she looked like a mix between the two of 'em, and the other girl was gone. So either she absorbed the girl, or she possessed her, I'm not sure which. The dream ended soon after.

Dream: Night before night before last
I dreamed about Leffen again which sucks for me 'cause he makes me feel SO insecure. But in the dream he was actually nice to me, which somehow makes me feel even worse... my dreams are just wish-fulfillment trying to convince me that he could actually like or care about me. *gets depressed*

Anyway, I dreamed that I was back in the Cheverly house, in the living room, and Leffen was using it to stream him playing some game. I felt like I was just getting in the way a bit, and then, at one point when he walked out of the room, he walked back in at the same time that I went blind. I was between him and his chair, and I wanted to hurry up and get out of his way, but my vision was totally frozen; looking around didn't change my view at all, I just had this locked-up scene stuck on my retina. I tried to explain this to him so he would get why I was just standing there. He actually seemed a bit concerned, which, when you think about it, is a pretty realistic reaction to someone going straight-up blind.

I managed to feel my way to the couch and lie down. Closing my eyes made everything black, so I stayed like that for a bit, and after a while my vision was back.

So then Leffen let me take over his stream for a bit, and I got on really hoping that his viewers would like me (all of which was unrealistic for a few reasons). The game he was playing was something like... you're trapped in a house with a whole bunch of almost-human monsters who really don't do much but slowly try to follow you around. Even if they caught up to you, they didn't try to attack you or anything, and YET, it was pretty scary. I ran into the bathroom and tried to lock it with a key, which was an almost paper thin piece of metal that did pretty much nothing. Still, I got the door kind of locked, enough that when they tried to get in, the doors bumped inwards but didn't open. I went deeper into the bathroom, which was quite a large bathroom as it turned out, and then lost track of where I was.

Next I was in a locked room, next to a door that had a little window above it that I could crawl through. So I did, and found a couple of monster-humans on the other side. One of them was this faceless thing with rubbery brown skin that looked up at me with a small, gaping mouth. For some reason I didn't find this guy disturbing, but I did have the brilliant idea to jump down on him as hard as I could. And it worked! Unlike some dreams where trying to do something weighty has unsatisfying, floaty results, this time it really felt like I was landing full-force on this unfortunate rubbery brown guy. And I crushed him. Then I ran off andddd I forget what else happened. WOO.

I think not having my computer has had a positive effect on my dreams... Might have to explore that further.

Man, my dreams have been more vivid lately. I've had plenty of dreams where I'm not totally present, where it doesn't feel like my decisions are totally up to me because I'm not really there myself... but lately my dreams have been giving me more control. Feels nice.

Dream: A Game
So I dreamed I was playing some kinda game, like I was on a game show. Everyone was paired up in teams and each team had a different official color. We were red, me and Handsome Jack. Well, he was sort of a combination of Handsome Jack and an acquaintance of mine with similar issues. I don't remember much about the other teams. Actually, there might even have been another person on our team, but I can't really remember.

So the game kinda consisted of a sort of obstacle course. It seemed to be set in an endless white void, or a massive white room, and I believe the first thing we encountered was a great deal of water, a veritable sea. It looked kinda strange since it was in a white room; like, much paler than the average sea.

Our first task was to cross this sea to the plasticky room about 60 yards away, and there was a selection of plasticky boats to use, maybe in little cubbyholes. They looked like those circular snow sled things, but a bit deeper. I think we just had to grab our appropriately red-colored boat, or maybe a couple of 'em, and somehow boat across the sea. The dream might've skipped that part. The impression I got was, the dream sort of thought that boat + sea was pretty self-explanatory, but then realized that my trying to get across the sea with just a circular boat and no paddle would actually be pretty difficult and time-consuming, so it just skipped it.

So we ended up on the island/room, where we quickly encountered SOME kind of obstacle. I kinda remember that there was a large group of people and there was some squabbling or fighting going on. I decided (and I don't always get to decide things like this, in dreams) to wander into the next room, where I encountered a kinda scary-lookin' old guy. And that was kind of important because by choosing to wander into the next dream I was sort of cutting into the dream's story; everything pointed to me being supposed to stick with my group and take the rooms one-by-one, but I instead chose to ignore this directive and try something else. And it's cool that I got to do that, it's been a bit of a trend lately. Hope it sticks! It's more fun when I can make up my own mind...

So I fought the scary-lookin' old guy who actually might've been a zombie, and soon enough Handsome Jack showed up, wondering where I went, and helped me take the old guy out. I'm not sure what the old guy's deal was. My first impression is... shopkeeper. But old and angry and sort of confused.

OK I don't remember too much else. I'm gonna make a post about the rest of my dreams 'cause like, I've had a couple over the last few days but I didn't write 'em down 'cause I didn't have my laptop.

BUSY day today. Hopefully I can come back to this later and elaborate, but for right now, the key points:

I'm rick, some powerful alien babies were orphaned so I take care of them

My mom takes my snake out of his enclosure and puts him in an "enclosure" which is basically just a small dresser. It's terrible. Snake is a baby again. I go on a quest to put the snake in the right enclosure again.

The police keep coming and I have to stop and put my hands up. I always seem to be doing something innocent but suspicious when it happens.

D1 - Siren was in my dream as a fellow teacher but me being such a "spiritual" person I remonstrated her when she complained about some paperwork. Saying "All is perfect, if you remember the way of the Tao".
I don't remember what happened after that, maybe she k.o'ed me ^^ the way of the wronged

D2 - At work again, I notice something strange about the office photo, everyone is standing around with the photocopier in the background. However I notice that four of the employees all have the same sticky up black hair (not unlike a mop) they are clearly all related.
The dream then splits as I turn the photo into a DT project cutting it in half so I can put a hinge on it and real black mop hair as a cover at the top Oo.

D3 - back in class I haven't preped for a lesson on something - science. I quiz a load of unusually tall and snooty girls outside (same brown blazers as mindcontrol ones) about contents of lesson. I get some equipment together and soldier on not knowing what i'm doing with my class.

Oops. I've been negligent with my DJ this year.........



Okay, so I've been up for a while now, so I'm not sure how much I'll remember. Let's see.

There was this school play thing happening. Except that it wasn't school people and it wasn't happening at school. But it was very amateur. I was watching it and there was some singing. I enjoyed it, but then I had to move cause I was in the way. The actress/person in charge was very rude to me, so I got upset. I sat in the corner by myself, still trying to enjoy it, but I was moody.

Then the woman was rude to me again, cause apparently it was my job to do something. I tried telling her I was only there to watch the play, but she kept insisting that I had to go and check the chairs and the door and whatever. I got REALLY mad, so I left for good.

I went to this house. It was a very simple house. I think my mum was there, along with other people. Suddenly, I head this loud noise. I looked outside and it seemed like a megastorm/hurricane. We thought that the house wouldn't be able to stand all the strong winds, and we were right. The roof flew away. I told them we needed to go to the other house, cause that one was stronger. We ran there as fast as we could, and we were safe there.

I was like "this makes no sense, we don't have hurricanes in Brazil, this is impossible", and my mother replied "well, we're in the US, remember?", which quickly convinced me that, yes, it was all real. Shame. I was so close to figuring out that it was a dream.

Anyway, then my mother told me I'd have to go to a city later. I guess I forgot about the hurricane situation and just went outside. I found the city, there was this red bubble of energy around it, like a magnetic field, as if blocking it. I knew I couldn't get in there, and I thought about the airplanes, and how they couldn't get in there either.

Then, the magnetic field dissolved and I was able to go inside.

That's all.

Sorry for the short and late entry everyone. Last night I dreamed that Carly Fiorina was in my bedroom, talking with me and my family. Someone from my school was there, telling Carly how many times she had seen her before. I remember feeling jealous. When Carly left, she was driving away in our car, and for some reason, we didn't care.

Thank You For Watching My Dream Journey To Became Lucid.

Thanks For Watching My Journey To Lucid Dream.

1/1/16
Dream 1: I was in the back of a truck/van with my brother with my mum driving. I was trying to perform a magic trick to fool my brother. It involved using yugioh cards either face up or face down in 4 different piles and the goal was to have 4 of your cards face up on the piles. It was meant to work so only I could win but I had partially forgotten how to do it so it descended into a full on battle of strategy. Eventually I was forced to rush and grab a binder and rip an extra card out in order to defeat him. As this was happening we were driving along a dirt road at the edge of a cliff. Suddenly a big truck came roaring around the corner from the opposite direction and had to swerve and crash into the trees in order to avoid us. We stopped and hopped out to investigate, and saw that the truck was full of buckets of stuff. We were told we had to deliver it just a hundred metres or so so we grabbed a few buckets each and began transporting them.

Dream 2: Something where I was showing some people around the city, and we had to go to the hospital for some reason. Once there we saw 3 people running around in a large square shouting and fighting, and it quickly became apparent that they had all become triclops. We left them be and then went to a café where my dad and some other people were waiting. Everyone exchanged some presents and I got a rectangular frame thing where I could put a few treasured photographs.

Tonight i dream with the following. I will post from the last dream to the first dream i can remember:

There was a dothraki horde or savages, and there was building. There were some in the field, outside, and some in the hall, inside. I told two girls not to be so wild, and they were like angry at me for saying that. They were at certain distance. Closer there were some cradles, and some babies in them. There was a chinese dothraki baby who was really smart. There was another chinese, like forty years old, in front of the baby trying to give him water. The baby told him, no i don't drink water and i don't eat food. I was stunned, i was thinking, is he a meditator? I was mind-open to do a reality check with that situation, but i didn't. I realized that he doesn't drink water because he is taking the tit of his mom. So the chinese man tells him, "oh you think you are grown up now that you don't take any water. Ok here you have be a grown up." and he handles him a sub-machine gun UZI. I couldn't believe they were so ... savages! But more astonishing was to see what the baby did. As soon as he grabbed the UZI he shot the man and killed him. He was raised by those wildings.

I went with the two girls. They were very dedicated to what they did. One of them looked like Evolet from 10000 BC



And they were very close to a master, who was very famous and honorable. I think i was about, or already have, met him to do business with him, so we were going to be close, and these girls were close for years and still couldn't reach him yet. [This teaches me that if you want something well defined there are surely more skillful means to do it, and that you don't neccesarily have to do X to achieve it]. But these girls were determined. They wanted to develop perfection. Although they were not going to be good as the master, when they were old they would have the skills very well developed as it would be expected of them. I don't actually know what that skill was, but it involved knowledge of Architecture but with something else, like battle or life knowledge. I saw a frame of one of the girls, and it was all black and some lines with different colours. Then those lines start moving and they formed elipses and circles, and it was perfect geometry. With that you could see that they were dedicated, that they worked hard and inteligently. After that i began to cry with the blue eyed girl.

An earlier dream was that i was running in a field, like a marathon. It was like 50 rounds, and after the rounds i would meet a high positioned man. Well, i gave up after the 5th i think, because it was too hard to run all that. Actually it wasn't hard at all, but it was the sensation of time, too much time spent on that is like mentally exhausting.

Before that i was trying, with my dad, to meet some 'important' people to do business with. We were at his office and he told me that he wanted to meet some financial reporters. One looked like Martin Lousteau, a famous Argentinean economist. I was about to leave his office (to run) and i saw a panel with a lot of books. I saw two books that called my attention. One was titled "Before 25472" or something like that (because a book called 25472 was about to come out, and this one came first. It turns out that it was better than the other) and a book about ISIS.

Before that i dreamt about being with my class mates. We were on a balcony in a very tall place, and behind us there was like a slide, but before that there was a big space. So if we wanted to throw anything in that slide we had to aim first, we had to have a good aiming. That was why there were three of us, Fran, Chango and Me who had three stones to aim. We all went to the edge of the balcony, and there was a step behind it, so we stood there. And we threw the stones. It was a long fall, and it wasnt right below us the slide, it was like 2 or 3 steps beyond us, so we definitely had to throw things, not drop them. Beyond the slide there were people as well, and we were going there but coming down first and surrounding taht place, which would take like 2 or 3 days. We weren't on a free space. It was actually like a maze, there was a roof and the place was about to close up soon, like in a week. After we threw the stones we waited a bit. The stones hit on a giant Targaryen's leg, but he didn't got angry. After that I thought about jumping, and i was about to, like to show off that i could do it, and i wasn't afraid even though in dreams im afraid to high places, but after all i considered that i could kill myself (and maybe wake up?) so i didn't do it. At that time i was thinking that it could be a dream, but i wasn't aware enough to really think that it was a dream, i was like numb by the dream, but i seriously thought about jumping since i didn't really care what would be the consequences, the worse that could happen was to wake up, but then i thought "well, i dont' know if this is a dream so i better don't do it". And suddenly there was a lot of wind, so i grabbed some cloth there was in the balcony and hoped that i wouldn't fall. After the wind i climbed up the balcony again, and remained like ten steps before the balcony's edge. But Fran didn't climb up, he was still there. He was talking with Matias who was convincing him to jump. At the end i don't know if he jumped but he was really going to do it, even though it was dangerous. There were teachers also, and they didn't say anything about this. I think they were probably scared or worried as the rest of us how to get out of there before the place closes its doors.