side notes

Late entry, but late is better than never.

first dream i was in some sort of tall building out on a balcony, scenery resembled old town from the game dying light. I look across about 100 yards away from the balcony, a small concrete bunker on a cliffside. I tell the group of people i am with i want to go there to meditate to improve my dream abilities and they laugh at me but i go anyway. I go into the bunker down an open hatch on the roof, down a all concrete staircase into a all concrete room with some yard supplies. i forget wy i am there and I grab a wheel barrow and collect some things. i go deeper into the bunker and end up in the finished basement of my old house, but it is dark. It is a room with the staircase in the middle dividing it into two sections of room. one with carpet and one with tile, and "tongue and groove" wood walls. I feel fear for some reason and leave. i go out the basement, back up the concrete stair entrance leaving the wheel barrow at the base of the stairs. i turn for a moment and stare at it, and it suddenly get thrashed, flipping over spilling all its contents, like something from a ghost movie and i very quickly run away from there. i am now all the way down the mountain on the road, with no transition between the two. I am talking to my friend somewhat frantically about the incident.

I wake up, throat dry so i grab the water next to me. forgot to do at least a basic wbtb.

This dream below would have been more complete had i wrote it down this morning.

I am in a classroom. its dark colored, faded wallpaper, really run down. The teacher decides to showcase a video of what i had done earlier in the dream, except instead of watching it the dream changes and I am now living this scene. I am in a very dark house, or asylum, or building, not quite sure but go with the flow. There are a series of long long dark hallways and the power is out. It is storming outside and lighting lights the room every once in a while. I see the silhouette of a ghost in one of the flashes, wait a minute and walk down the hallway to see it. now my family appears with me, but quickly disappears when i look down the next hallway. i assume the ghost did something. I see old t-shirts on the ground and pick them up thinking i may need them. The lightning flashes again, i see the ghost again at the end of the hallway and i start to run straight for it this time, it goes down the next hallway 90 degrees to it. there is another shirt at the intersection and i pick it up, look up to see the ghost flying at me. I have no time to react and it stops me. it is a pale older woman, wearing all gray dull clothing. she has no pupils, the dead eyes completely white. then the dream ends

usually dreams of horror themes never bother, gotta say these two in a row made me a bit skittish in my dreams. they usually help me become lucid, resizing this isnt real, but not this time!

First dream

I was walking in the countryside. I was halfway to the nearest city. There were fields on the left and right, and a forest in the distance. I met a brunette girl with bright blue eyes. She was wearing a white t-shirt, bright blue skirt, and had a necklace. I can't recall how the necklace looked like.

She asked me if I can take some flowers for her from the field. I jumped onto the field, and looked for the plant she wanted to receive. When I got out, I was all in mud, dirty. She was really thankfull.

I decided to go with her to the nearest shop. She chosen what she wanted to buy. The shopkeeper demanded huge amounts of money for only four products. I tried to remove some of the more expensive, but it was still huge.

I checked my wallet, and it was empty. I asked if she has any money. The girl checked her wallet, and found nothing as well. She asked me if we can just take the products and run away, and after a while of consideration I decided that we should just go away, without taking anything.

We walked out of the shop. Suddenly we found ourselves in front of my house. There was a black man - student of Oxford college. He was weaing a green hoody with Oxford written on the back. He went to the street, met other students, and rapped.

Second dream

I was walking in school. There was a girl that was looking for her lover. I tried to help her. We found out that there was a man who had a few girlfriends. They received that information rather quickly.

Third dream - recurring, different ending than before

Technology became so advanced that humanity could revert all it's impact on environment, and then move to huge vault-complexes. Nobody leavd their vaults, except for moving to another vault, either by trains or cars that used form of energy, that doesn't create any pollution.

I was with a group of teenagers. The group consisted of three men, and two women. I can't recall if any of them used names in the whole dream. One had dark hair, and was wearing white shirt and jeans trousers. Second guy had blond air, and was wearing black t-shirt and jeans trousers. I was the third one. The first girl had brown hair, and was wearing grey t-shirt and jeans trousers. I can't recall the second girl.

Somehow we found a way to the surface, but after we got out the way was sealed. It was cold early morning. The vault was surrounded by fields with growing crops. There was a road and train track nearby. We tried to go back the sealed way, but it wouldn't open.

I decided that we should spread out, and see if we can find a way. If we do, we must call for the rest. I searched the area close to the sealed way. My point of view changed. I was the guy with white t-shirt. I was searching some basements. I saw a way, looking like ducts, but I hesitated if I should enter it.

Then my vision changed again. I was the guy with black t-shirt. I was on the road. I dodged some cars to get close to the trains, but I saw that they open only from inside the vault, and have no windows. I saw that there is a way from under the train track, but it risks death if I would be there where train comes.

My point of view changed again. From the top view I saw the girl, searching some rooftops and going into corridors. Suddenly a door in the corridor opened. The girl was scared and was crying.

Then I was back at my point of view. I found a hidden switch, which moved a platform to the rooftop. I found a way inside there. I immediately sended a message to the rest of the group, and the came quickly, We just jumped through the hole, and landed safely in the corridor near apartments of the vault.

*Usually the dream ended with:

- The guy in white t-shirt killed by mechanisms when trying to go through ducts;

- The guy in black t-shirt hit by car when moving on the road; killed by train while trying to find the way under the tracks; killed by a serial killer when following the road to the entrance;

- The girl killed by mad scientist after entering mysterious room;

- Me catched by mad scientist, and killed by serial killer;*

False awakening

I "woke up" in my bed. I felt a strong pain in my teeth. I touched one with my tongue, and felt a huge hole in it. I felt that I touch my gums through it. After a while all of my teeth started to fall out of gums, and form a ball of crushed teeth. I took it out of my mouth, and then awakened.

Recall: 1/10. Another night of shitty recall. It looks like 3/26 was the last day where I would say my recall was up to par, so this has been going on for a little over a week now. I was sure it had been a lot longer before I checked my DJ... being cut off from my dreams night after night like this is unpleasant to say the least.

I've tried variations on bedtimes, alcohol, caffeine, and supplements, with no effect on dream recall either way. It's starting to look like stress might be a critical factor, though, and not the way you might think. I've heard some people say that stress kills their dream recall, but for me it seems to be just the opposite. In the past I've noticed that my dreams become intensely vivid at times when I'm under a lot of daytime stress—and some of my most amazing lucid streaks have occurred on nights when I had absolutely no time or intention to practice because I was under so much pressure WL. Conversely, during periods when I'm under very little stress and I think I'll be able to devote my full attention to dream practice, I tend to end up in a dryspell.

This pattern holds true for my dream experiences over the past month. Early in March I was under unbearable stress at work, and yet I had my best lucid streak ever, with ten distinct lucid incidents in the first half of the month. The last night I dreamed vividly was March 26, an extremely stressful night due to daytime anxieties. Since then, WL pressures have eased and I've been much more relaxed and mellow... and at the same time my dreams have become wan and elusive, despite firm waking intentions to remember them.

Last night the terrible recall was made even more obtrusive and aggravating by the inexplicable failure of my attempts to counter it. I went to bed and set a strong intention to remember my dreams, and here's the kicker: I actually do recall a point before I was actually awake, where I still remembered the dream I'd just had and was going over the details to fix them in memory... and then somehow on the transition to waking all the details dissolved anyway.

I remember having a few dreams, but all I can recall are fragments. I was in my home, working on something. I recall also another weird toilet dream.

Me and my mom are having a walk in a beautifull forest . There is a higher hill in the forest.
Suddenly I feel danger and tell my mom to take cover , my friends father walks up the top of the Hill.
"I'll kill him " - I say and take a knife out while leaning behind a bush I go into assassin mode , sneaking around. He almost saw me but he keeps watch around.
Mom doesn't understands why I want to kill him , neither do I but I still want to kill him.
I sneak and sneak . at a point the dream ends.

I couldnt get off this boat, i was stuck there forever for some reason. It was like a vacation i was on. I wish i could tell people i was there because it was unreal. I had no communication with the outside world except my little cousin kaily who texted me all the time she is 15 and i couldnt reply to her. The same thing would happen day in and out. It was like an experiment i was being held a part of. No one aged on this boat. There was the same party every day on the lower deck but i never went down there. Theres one more person who started becoming self aware besides me
And he lost it. So they killed him. I knew what was happening. I knew i was being held hostage. There were sometimes you were able to go home for two minutes. But only two times. I wasted both my minutes. As selfish as it was i was anle to bring someone else where i was. not remember who it was but they were very close to me when they arrived it happened in this secret room. They just appeared in the chamber in front of me and i was able to give them a constant emotion of joy, sorrow, or pain while om the boat, and change their body size. Also i checked my phone i was there from october 18th to December 30th is the last day before i woke up. Theres more to the dream but i can barely remember this. If youve had this dream or know what its about or just want to hear more please message me this dream worried me very badly.

Thu, 26 Mar 2015:
*** short LD x2 + WILD=No.300!!!! 1030pm quick bts@1240am wbtb recording dream only but took at while @420am (5h50) first awakening @1240 had some vague recall of ideas. Decided not enough to use for bts visualizing and didn't record.


420am wake from an "I was just there" dream. Facility similar to SD in C(25 minutes W NW) or one of my past workplaces. End with helping special needs adult who was with C from work section near mailroom and a little girl. Actually before the facility we are in a store like Target or Kmart and I'm there with I think my #Dad and #Brother. My brother is pushing a shopping cart also and a little fast and draws the attention of a manager that is up on a platform about 1 story higher. I notice this and motion like I am telling my brother to act right and get the manager to back off.

This transitions shortly after to me driving outside the aforementioned facility and was going to park in front of the main entrance and use my badge to get something I forgot inside. I don't want that manager guy (mixing the work facility with the store) to come though so I look for another place to park more out sight and get further from entrance trying to find an actual parking spot almost parking in an area that was painted off with gray border that I decided meant "no parking."

Eventually park to the left of there and I think I hear employees coming out at the end of their shift. I think about heading to my car but they will wonder why i am out here. Now I need to hide behind a crop of shrubs and small trees on a small hill above the parking area and there is a trail off to my left that I later realize has a fork that runs right behind me as well. At first it looks like some will walk towards the couple of cars in the lot below and others off to my left walking towards perhaps the train station but cut over to the fork towards me and see my feet sticking out from my hiding spot as I lay belly down on the ground looking around at where everyone is heading. When they find me it seems both groups have converged on me and I'm discovered and get up. My story is that I was going to surprise someone. "Who?" They ask like they are interested in who has a secret admirer or something. "It depends on who came by" being vague or secretive they might figure.

Talking with the ladies, I see an ID picture of C (mentioned at beginning) and this transitions to me indoors with her a little older and a little girl maybe 5 and a special needs adult. C asks the little girl to come with her while she goes to the bathroom outside(?) in case she needs to call for help and I tell the little girl who looks maybe half Black and Hispanic "yes just come back here and knock on the door like so and I can help." During this I am having a bit of a challenge keeping the special needs person from falling over holding onto him(?) as he leans various ways but mostly backwards while he is putting on his shoes or something. 5am finish typing on my phone (quieter). time flew by though.

***League game, Mom, DEILD
I'm getting ready for a game and the game before us that seems to have implications on who we might play in the playoffs. it seems the underdog won tonight...could affect our playoffs. Oh no I think I'm not fully suited up yet and I look up and some guys are playing Basketball and my teammates are all gone and I realize that I'm dreaming. I float up a little bit in the gymnasium before waking up. On waking this reminds me to check status of playoffs and related email when i get up later. 298


I'm in the car with my mom who's driving and the road looks a little strange as I look closer it looks like the road has been taken out by some disaster but there's still a strip of it left and I ask my mom if we are sleeping and then I realize yes this is just a dream. I float up out of the car a bit before waking. 299

Yesterday I was thinking how I have shortchanged my LD count in the past whenever I had a really short LD often not counting them but I decided that was not right…so I counted those last two but will not make any adjustments to past counting…too much trouble and probably not very significant.

Trying to get in a super comfortable position after my wife leaves and has set the alarm I am determined to get back to lucid dreaming and hold on to it for number three hundred! Not a super impressive lucid dream but it was much longer than those last two and I achieved my first WILD in a little while! (FM and CL if reading: still no G yet, only apple juice but may try soon). I am very happy with how my overall wild transition went seemingly never losing consciousness as well. I was getting significant HI's (just imagery). Even reposition myself somewhat slightly and get back to the HI's. In the sequence that led to the dream entry it started with a white shape, somewhat complex, on a black background. It was like a morphing white circle with some gashes cut into it mostly along the right and bottom making the white parts in that section look like curved knives. Mentally reminded myself to only observe it passively but in retrospect I think I was already fully in a dream based on the next sequence and the stability of the white on black HI.

In the next sequence I am looking at a movie screen size and shaped image forming in front of me taking up most of my field of view with just blackness on the edges, formed from the previous white circle on black, and I start to get imagery that I thought was coming from my waking life eyes of the wall that I'm facing towards, from my position in bed...but I see that if I keep my eyes just a sliver open that I can continue to see the imagery and block out the view from my room. this was all part of the dream however because I realized that I'm still wearing my sleep mask and I would not be able to see the wall in my room at all.

I come more and more into the image and eventually I'm fully in the scene but it is not clear yet. I stay patient and before long I am in a beautiful sunny daytime scene with green grass and houses and a wall nearby that I go for, to rub on the cement wall to stabilize the visuals. It works. I float up a little bit but then I decide to land.

There are a lot of people around now and I'm checking out the DC's. I walk up to one group and at first they look at me curiously but then look absolutely terrified and run off! This is not something I've seen since purposely trying to scare DC's. Interesting. I see more people whose path I'm going to cross and as we approach each other the same thing happens, they look terrified!

I see a restaurant whose whole front wall is all big glass windows, so you can see inside and it looks like it is full, hosting a busy party with DJ lights despite being daytime outside it looks a little darker in there. It has an interesting symbol on the outside that gives me the impression that it is Asian Restaurant of some kind. I make my way towards the restaurant passing a few other terrified groups of DC's and I stand outside the door thinking about what I want to do next and I decide to go in, it could be interesting. As I go in the visuals start to fade but I remain calm and I can still make out shapes of people moving around and eventually decide to walk back outside the restaurant and observe from the outside where had no issues.

Eventually I got down on the ground laying on my stomach with my head propped up on both my hands, my elbows on the ground and just watched what was going on around me in wonder. After a while I could feel a little pressure on my left shoulder and was feeling like it was my waking life shoulder tired from laying on my side but I was able to shift back to my dream body and feel myself completely off of that sore shoulder and back on my stomach with my head propped up by my two hands, elbows on the ground which was a weird shift in orientation from side laying to a more upright straight on forward position. Eventually focus shifted back to my sleeping body and my shoulder who wanted me to turn over into a more comfortable position and I transition completely to my waking body and woke up smiling big and turned over to my other side! No.300

Side notes: RC's had more impact yesterday after the LD where I almost couldn't believe I was dreaming and felt totally awake. I did drink 6oz of apple juice this night a little after 9pm, after one night off from apple juice and 10 days or more off before the two nights before that. AJ always seems to help with vividness and putting me "there." This is also the 3rd night in a row with LD's and 3rd night in a row where my only focus during wbtb was on recall. Upon btb I am only visualizing becoming lucid in the previous dreams. No mantras or SSILD. I have also been better about checking off any daytime worries or thoughts quickly and getting back to dreamy thoughts.

Not too impressive, but just coming back from 11 day dry spell…Got a nice Girl Friday dream the next night.
(Morning of) Tue, 24 Mar 2015:
Apple juice again 2nd night, earlier than last night, this time at 830pm; 11p 3a wbtb(4h) facility with swimming pool? ; I am meeting someone and the previous person, a sweet lady or girl is helping me get ready suggests I wear a nicer shirt than my T-shirt and lays out my green shirt for me and delays the other person I'm meeting. I put it on and there is something bulging from the neckline a bit like I'm wearing a necklace and I flatten it out a bit. As I enter I am hearing that he is or was connected to a Native American and did something to protect his people or his family status or something that sounded noble. At some point going through this building a fire truck is superimposed by an image I took of the fire truck some time before when there were notices posted on its windshield...now neatly cleaned off as if they were never there.

Playing in a game this coming day so planning quicker btb and visualize only. Btb 320
In a really big house with huge great rooms with a large family. Beautiful and vivid.

*After my wife left I only had an hour to get back into a dream and did a little visualization that I'm realizing it was a dream. I'm in a big two story restaurant and I need to go to the bathroom <snip> I leave the first bathroom and get lost and subsequently find that I'm in a big gymnasium like I was thinking about during wake back to bed . I go out to check out the gymnasium and it is the second story seats or balcony but the kids are using it still as part of their basketball practice making long passes among the balcony and then from the balcony and down to the gymnasium floor where practicing basketball. All the kids are black and I figure I'll work my way down the stairs back to the original bathroom <snip>. heading down the stairs in this balcony area I'm dropping my jackets that I'm carrying and I'm trying to gather them and a couple of black kids walk up and it looks one of them like one of them is a special needs kid but has violent tendencies and the other kid calls him "Rabid." Hey Rabid this guy is something something. They leaned me back over the seat and although it doesn't seem too dangerous I told him "look if I fall backwards I'm gonna land on my head way down there and I will die. You don't want that." after about a minute of calm talking to them they let me go about my way and I realize that I could have just squeezed out an energy burst and knock them away as if I knew it was a dream.As I continue down the hall it really sinks in that I AM dreaming. I see a black lady and the dream starts to fade so I say "come here for a moment, let me hold your hand" and I grabbed her hand and feel all the details of her hand, it is warm and feels just like a hand should and the dream visuals starts coming back. I reach up under her shirt holding her back and stomach and I start to reach up for her breasts and she says no no, tonight she is very tired from a long day. I say okay, no worries I don't need to force myself on a DC, even if it is just a dream and I wasn't feeling strongly inclined to anyway. I keep rubbing her back and she seems to like that. And I see a bathroom with a bathtub across the way and I say how about a nice warm bath? I could give you a nice warm bath or I could join you and I keep rubbing her back as we walk that way before I finally fade back to bed. I lay still going over the details in my head and then when I finally allow myself to move, I release a big smile. No.296

I do wonder if it was only because of apple juice that I broke the dry streak (no apple juice next night but still had an LD (next entry with Girl Friday!). I did set an intention before sleeping and at my short back to bed and again a bit after my wife left. I did hardly anything during the day though, so busy with two different business deals. But I also came to the realization that I put lucid dreaming on the back burner and maybe just maybe I can do both!..allowing my brain to accept lucid dreaming back as at least a partial priority. who knows!?

I met with my friend in multiple dreams. [B]However when those dreams happened, I didn't even know him.
What's even weirder than that is that he had these dreams from his own perspective around one year ago.
I experienced these dreams 3 years ago.[/B]
Before the super market . [B]Again[/B]
Now it was daylight , the place was swarming with terrorists\guerillas
So I was like "lets screw somebody up"
I zoomed to the far away buildings' there was somebody walking
I stretched my hands and started to shoot big fireballs
Meanwhile : my friend just walks on the street around that particular building, when suddenly a fireball almost toasts off his head and was like "WTF are you doing?!?! stop! its me!"
Ofc I didn't know who it is , doesnt even heard his sound. I far firing, people were shooting like mad,
rpg etc flew. He jumps up after one of the buildings collapse and he still dont know what hit him.
Then he starts to jump towards me ,actually he jumps very big and flies towards me , I don't care ,I just sending those majestic flames into his direction , I feel awesome, yeah.

Then He arrives, He's just about to stop me , but he's woke up in that moment.
I've seen something nearing me , and before I've seen it , he dissappeared. Nevermind.

side note:Seriously most of these dreams were always before the supermarket or in it . damn.

In the next dream I meet him
I feel very easy and I say
-"Whassup bitch. I started to think you won't be here, here , let me show you those cubes"
Then I take out those cubes from a pack
-"These called "lymnitrix" , these are training program , you get in , and get out. Touch it.
He does so
and now he's in a training level, there is floating plates he needs to jump through to the end point, while he does this he needs to fight with a swarm of giant insects.
And so he does, he uses lightning , sword combat ,combines the two. He wokes up
Meanwhile I jump into another program. Now I'm on top of a large building in my city . There's another one.
And then theres those floating stones , Giant bees are coming so I get ready.
I use fire , lightning, I kill many of em' , I throw my sword into one of em, then I tame a bee and continue fighting like that. at a point , the dream ends.


In Another dream, I follow somebody, now , its the right side of the supermarket, I walk around.
Its winter , everthing is in snow. I wanted to spy somebody , so I think about a plan.
Then I got it .
I hide on to the roof and watch from above if anyone comes, but must be at alert , so nobody sees me.
A guy comes, a guard. I hide, and I watch , but I watched too long. I feel that he seen me.
I fall back and after a moment, a big lightning bolt comes through , severing the wall and the roof, it got my head almost .
I stand up , run out and warp down the ground. I shoot a lightning bolt , he shoots , Blocked it .
after a moment I shoot quickly again , I killed the guard. He dissappears.
"- What the hell was that, I supposed to spy somebody else, not this guy. Now I kicked him out of dream?
what can I do now? " I thinked
and stood here , confused till the dream collapsed.

I'm not sure of when this dream happened but I'll leave this here.

Another dream
Me and my present friends were grouping at a house. we were sitting around a wooden table .
Then I took a knife and stab the table , I had a glasses and I was in my rambo mood.
-"Guys, we got to do ... something big."
-"What do you mean?"
"-Something big ..explosions , robbing ,beating ,anything..."
At this point my memory is foggy, in the end we agree of doing something
there is my drunkard friend to , he justs sits and do nothing more than drinking
-"Give me that fucking wine , you drunken bastard"
I take the wine , drink some.
As we leave the friends mother throw a bottle which almost catches his head .
Dream ends.

Next will be the final chapter of "The Other Side" the dream where I had my final fight with a powerfull dc, probably another dreamer, but who knows....

1. This dream played out like a movie, except instead of watching from the outside, I was a presence inside the girl’s head and I knew more about what was going on than her.

The girl is standing with a man. He asks her if she needs something to read, and when she says yes, asks which kinds of books she had. She answers, ‘nature and werewolves’. Apparently something had happened to her copies. I was waiting for him to react to the latter term because I ‘knew’ he was one.

He leaves, and she’s holding some kind of tablet of his. I think to snoop around in it but dismiss it. She puts it on the round table nearby.

Gap.

She’s in a room. It’s really blurry here, but she gets really sick and pukes. She tries to reassure the man that it must be because she only ate twice that day. But I wonder if the man will suspect that it’s because she’s turning into a vampire herself and can’t process food normally anymore.

Meanwhile, I suddenly have this knowledge that the man is a vampire, and is looking for this sort of leader of the vampires, or at least his group, named Karen, and the girl could be her.

I remember that the girl had dark, longer hair with some kind of braided hairstyle. She was around 17-20 in age.

Inspiration: I’m wondering if the vampire thing naturally led to the girl being Elena from Vampire Diaries. IDK why I’m having so many werewolf dreams, they don’t even turn –into- werewolves in them!

2. Blurry fragment. I’m at this machine sitting on a counter looking at the option for these black plastic cups. You could get a smaller sized amount or 14. We needed 15 but I have no choice but to get the 14. Something about food. Gap. Mom is there and says something about being thankful for an extra cup being left there by someone. She pressed a button and a bucket thing with the cups in it starts descending down into the counter.

Inspiration: We have these sturdy plastic cups but there aren’t many left, and mom used some of them for something a couple of days ago and I was worried she was just going to throw them away after.

3. I was looking at some website that made me nostalgic. A lot of people made pages dedicated to certain things like a series or character, and they’d post a bunch of stuff on them like fanart and they were really popular, but they started getting deleted (maybe even by the people themselves) and then it sort of fell into disuse.

Inspiration: Gave me strong déjà vu, but I don’t recall a site like that. Maybe inspired by Tumblr+LJ, because I was thinking about it earlier.

4. Something about mom telling me Jack was working.

5. Grandma asks me about this cereal we have IWL, I answer back and she says that it’s going stale.

Inspiration: Me wondering if people would finish the cereal in time.

1. Steven Universe dream, it ran like a typical episode, but all I remember is Garnet saying some motivating line.

Inspiration: I’m up to episode 23 now!



2. There’s a ~deadly~ cave cricket (jump spider) in the (not WL) kitchen, and it will.not.die. I smash it with a broom a number of times but it keeps coming back. I finally smoosh the broom over it and think I get it, but then Smoke (passed away IWL) comes over to check it out. I panic and kick my foot towards him.

I wake up, kicking something at the foot of my bed. Once I realize what happened, I try to figure out what I kicked, because I definitely felt something solid. I worry that I kicked Jazzy but I think the door is still pulled two from last night. Then it creaks open and answers my question for me.

Inspiration: There was one in the house last week, and me and my dad fear them sooo much that I was worried I’d have a bad dream about it. Welp.

3. Melly, me and Rane are getting our hair dyed. It’s in our hair and we’re just waiting for it to settle into how dark we want the colors to be.

Mom is with me and points out Melly’s, she says it’s too much, so I need to be careful. I look at my hair and see the purple and pink dye on each side of my head. I can’t remember if it was my hair or someone else’s but the right side was way too much pink, but I thought that maybe different hairstyles would fix it.

Inspiration: Thinking about dying my hair yesterday.

4. I’m in a class. The teacher starts handing out papers. I look at the heading on the top of mine and it has ‘Christian’ in the title. I think to protest that I’m not even Christian, but for some reason give up on the idea.

We’re supposed to fill in information on this guy. The teacher comes over and leans over me, and starts to explain how I need to fill out certain answers. As she does, I worry that the other students can’t hear her, so how will they know what to do?

She says that his website has changed to the .com extension. I look at what it was before – something like .co.mt. She points to where he went to school and tells me what to put. I look at what’s written (in pencil) but can’t remember what it says.

She’s back to where she started and talking about how she changed a few things about ‘the song’, because it was a ballad, and she didn’t understand why he had to include a curse word. I think that it isn’t right.

She goes around watching over the students, and suddenly starts singing. The class joins in, me especially loudly, though I don’t remember the lyrics now.

Then I’m working on the second worksheet, it’s something about health. We’re supposed to answer what foods have certain things in them, like GMOs. I’m stumped.

A girl comes into the class late and sits across from me. I wonder if she’ll get into trouble but the teacher doesn’t seem to care.



The girl had short (almost chin-length) light brown hair that had a bit of a static electricity problem. She says that she was fixing it up. I feel like I should complement her even though it’s pretty plain looking and strands are sticking out. As she starts working on the papers, I wonder how she’ll know what to do.

Inspiration: the ‘mt’ part of the extension comes from a reviewer of a manga I linked to somewhere. The censoring is from me thinking about this song I was listening to while exercising yesterday. The girl is definitely inspired by Androssi in the Tower of God webtoon. The school part might have come from me thinking about college. ‘Christian’ may have come from me thinking about the radio station dad listens to.

Yesterday:

I’m wandering around the store with mom. I tell her that I have to go to the bathroom, but she’s insistent on finding someone (grandma?). I say that I’ll pee my pants if we don’t find a bathroom soon.

Gap.

We’re walking on a cement path, and mom points out something she made while there – at her old college.

Gap.

Somehow I end up flying across into some water. I can’t swim and think ‘it’s over’ but try holding my breath in hopes of floating to the top.

Somehow I make it to a little building suspended on wooden sticks, and I cling to them.

I see three people in black jackets with POLICE written on them standing facing away from me, below knee deep in the water.

“HELP ME!” I scream. When they don’t quite react, I scream it once more. This time they turn around, guns out, and head toward me shouting for me to put my hands up, etc. It scares me even more and I start crying.

Gap.

I’m dead and holding the parts you get when your body is gone. There were three things, but all I remember is a screw-like item.

I go home and am talking to mom about it. Apparently grandma or grandpa had died a few days before.

I ask her if I look any different (I believe I’m a ghost). She says I just look a little faded. I try to see if I feel any different, but I just feel kind of wobbly and off.

They’re about to eat – soup and something else. I realize that I can’t eat any, and figure I’ll just hang out while they do.

Inspiration: Some police cars and an ambulance went by last night. I think the ‘items’ from the body comes from watching Big Hero 6 and the microbots.

Today:

I break up with a guy and am getting ready to leave. I see a inanimate cat lying on a table, there’s a way to animate it. I blew a puff of air onto it.

I leave with a celebrity girl. I climb into the car, and am surprised when she gets in on the opposite side I expected her too.

I’m filling out the third part of a form, it’s normally reserved for cats but I’m using it for something else.

Gap.

I’m lying down and someone is kneeling next to me, attaching a device to my body. Then they untied the wires and said ‘they could still see something’ and I got the impression it was something like an aura around my body.

Inspiration: I’ve read a few fics with daemons lately, think the cat was inspired by that. And being a ghost/having an aura most likely was inspired by me watching Steven Universe lately.

This is something that i really want to share. Something very personal and breath taking. Well at least for me....


Today is exactly 4 years since my mother passed away. When i was 17 i have been through so many horrible things, as i was living only with my mother and she was the only person that i trusted.

When she passed away i was seing dreams, they were really vivid lucid dreams that stayed in my subconscious mind till this moment. It was the only way i could still contact her. I was aware that im dreaming and i realised in my dreams that she is gone so i was trying to ask her all the questions like why? how do you feel? and she replied that she doesnt feel the pain nomore, I was also asking questions like is there any world that we don't know about? tell me if theres really something like god? she replied that there is a place, where you don't feel any pain, everything is calm and beautiful, but she didnt see any god or something... I was asking her if she can take me with her but she said that its not the time yet and that i need to live...

I was dreaming her all following year almost every day and i was saying how much i love her, say things that i didn't said when she was alive try to hug her and feel her.

Appreciate everything you have now, because you never know when will be the last time you see someone.
Thanks for reading,

R.I.P to my only love in the whole world.

There are two ill siblings, they seem to be recovering but then the girl relapses and starts fading away.

The younger boy is left and is depressed. I find him in a room looking for a book on knives. I go through the cooking books on the shelf and find the only one, but it’s a technical one and I keep stumbling over my words. The boy is unhappy and leaves.

Everything else is too foggy to remember, except this part where I went to the bathroom at my grandma’s house and saw myself in the mirror on the back of a door. I tried to remember if that’s where it was supposed to be. A tiger was peering at me from under the door…

Inspiration: Reading the Tower of God webtoon with Baam and Rachel, her disappearing on him. Mirror from me thinking about the TotM and what mirrors were around places I go. Tiger comes from a cat toy Jazzy has, I sometimes hang it from the window so she can play with it.

Putting a cord-like rod into something, it sucked it up. Someone with me had done theirs and it hadn’t, so mine had gone wrong. Now we had to go find where it had been taken.

I remember climbing up into an attic where it was dark and I had to fumble around. I found stacks of papers and stuff stuffed here and there amongst furniture and dug through some of it.

Gap.

I’m talking to a woman who confided in me how she thought she was a bad mother. She has an older girl and a younger girl who were in the house doing their own thing. For some reason, I feel sympathetic and try to reassure her about it. She seems to feel a bit better and goes off to get an alcoholic drink…

Notes: I slept really deeply, think my exercise routine is starting to get to me. Hopefully I’ll get used to it soon. I wanted to go to bed today halfway through and nearly fell asleep in my supper.