side notes

it was very cold the breeze was a deep chain of being crucified in the wilderness I felt as if I been here before or the place same like a familiar setting I start running as I was running the cold pressure got more intense I was frozen in a staring photo as I try to open my eyes I see a pinch black sunset arise from the clouds into a orange crème as the orange took control of the sky I see a pinch dull of blue getting ready to take the sky over as the creamy orange was settling in

Afternoon of February 16, 2018. Friday.



This is a compilation entry, though simplified, based on many key dreams which designate a door or doorway as neural gating of a specific type, typically under the subconscious self’s choice in both non-lucid events to apex lucidity (though in apex lucidity, the true conscious self identity is far more extant and viable). A door as rendered in either a non-lucid dream or lucid dream has always solely served as either the exit point of the dream state or, in some cases, to augment and stabilize the precursor to apex lucidity. Note that the summary for each dream does not reflect the entire dream.

Dogpile, from February 19, 1972. I had entered apex lucidity (in my final dream of this date) with my dream rendering the correct time; early morning after sunrise. I see the bony remains of a dead dog halfway between the railroad tracks and the edge of our backyard. I notice that a smaller dog seems to be guarding the remains. The dog (of which is facing me, though at a distance) soon notices me and begins to growl menacingly. The ghost of the other dog rises up from the bones and seems to pose a threat as well. They both run toward me. My position had been the easternmost end of the Cubitis carport. I deliberately run and jump through the doorway of the Cubitis house to wake myself.

Both RAS and the emergent consciousness factor “chase” me into consciousness. As my lucid dream self, I recognize this common autosymbolic event and its meaning while still in the dream state but I do not attempt to contest it. Instead, I choose to find a doorway to jump through to purposely leave the dream state. I manage to jump and fall halfway through the doorway, anticipating the sensation of the dogs biting my heels (anticipating the common hypnopompic kick as a result), though there is no sense of pain in liminal space. RAS was often rendered as an aggressive dog of which challenged my will to control the dream state as a child. This is based on two factors, my dream potentially “obeying” my lucid dream self’s will and a dog being the closest analogy to that, and the RAS factor being influenced by having seen “The Hound of the Baskervilles” (1959 version) a few times, which designated a dog as being an attack factor. (I had no fear or concern of dogs in waking life, as much of what occurs in a dream is based on the dream state itself in its autosymbolic transitions, not waking life unless prescient or “received” from loved ones.)

The emergent consciousness factor as the ghost dog, as divided from RAS, is based on known dynamics. The remains were where we had bonfires in real life, thus designate the recurring Phoenix Factor as symbolizing re-emergence into full consciousness via biological RAS gating. Additionally, it appeared as a ghost due to the dream self identity not being the complete conscious self identity.

Catlike Shadow Creature and Shopping, from September 10, 2016. A non-lucid but vivid sequence features a cat shadow as my emergent consciousness precursor (not a waking factor of which the common checkout autosymbolism was eventually rendered as the waking transition in this dream). Upon approaching it, it leaps impossibly into the top of the closed door and somehow slides through the narrow gap between door and door frame. The Shadow is my conscious self identity. As the conscious self identity cannot exist within unconsciousness, it has often been rendered as either a cat or shadow (or in this case, both) in my dreams since early childhood. As such, it is a liminal space denizen for several reasons. One, it is associated with “always landing on its feet” relating to the falling sensation that occurs as a result of vestibular system ambiguity, a biological factor of the waking transition. Two, its being associated with sitting on a fence, a fence as autosymbolism for liminal space division (between dream self and conscious self). Thirdly, a cat by popular myth “having nine lives”, is like the Phoenix Factor of returning to whole consciousness. There is an additional very curious factor which had been influenced by the ending scene of “The Flintstones”, which I am even aware of in this particular dream in the specific movement of the cat creature. This is where Fred picks up the sabretooth cat, puts it outside, and the cat goes back in through the window and then puts Fred out. There have been a number of endings of various television shows that were borrowed for RAS mediation (typically only as dream state end markers and waking precursors or at least transitions of levels of unconsciousness).

The Old Shack, from August 24, 1970. As with Dogpile, I use a virtual doorway to deliberately “escape” the dream state. In this case, threatening flight as a vestibular system ambiguity dynamic, a pterodactyl, chases me across a field. As I dive through the “doorway”, in this case the ruins of an outdoor rose trellis linked to an old fence on each side, I see the pterodactyl that I was concerned about turn back into a sparrow, as it falls upside-down from the sky. In this case, I perceived my emergent consciousness (the shadow on the ground, of which the pterodactyl cast) as somewhat ominous, a viewpoint that rarely occurs as an adult due to having learned so much about the dream state.

Ocean Beyond the Doorway (with Kenneth Hill), from February 9, 1975. In this dream, I want to find my “dream girl” (the precognitive form of Zsuzsanna long before we met in reality). My dream ends with me standing on Kenneth’s left. (RAS usually modulates from the right side of my dream self in dream self to conscious self mediation due to me sleeping on my left side with my right side more exposed to my real environment). I sadly tell Kenneth that “It didn’t work” when opening a fictional door in the Cubitis hallway (west side) and seeing the ocean in afternoon light. Although the ocean also represents the transpersonal nature of unconsciousness, in this case, it was also a rendering of the fact that Zsuzsanna lived across the ocean from me in real life at the time. There were a number of other dreams where I was “blocked” by the ocean. The ocean usually only occurs in my last dream of a sleeping period (due to it also representing circadian rhythms dynamics and the nature of sleep in relationship to consciousness as an analogy to the tidal factors of the world), whereas lakes and rivers occur in all stages of sleep until water lowering waking symbolism becomes a key factor.

Batwing Doors, from October 22, 2017. In this dream’s final scene, Zsuzsanna is eventually standing directly behind fancy batwing doors. The doorway waking symbolism included the RAS hybrid factor of vestibular system associations (“return flight”, a factor of over one in five of my dreams).

A door as the potential exit point of a dream (in fact, the main symbol for this precursory event) differs only slightly from the fence feature. That can be seen in the following dream:

Through the Fence, from April 17, 2014. In this dream, I move between a narrow gap in the high wooden fence (in our present backyard or what resembles it) as if it was a door. A group of Aboriginal Australian girls move from near the front of their house, coming to talk to me (perhaps because I am seen by them as trespassing). The final scene involves an older Aboriginal female of about seventy, with white hair, asking me if I have seen her husband. In this case, the RAS gating is rather curious. I suspect that I was “seeing” a much older version of Zsuzsanna, though rendered as an unknown RAS character, especially as she asks where her husband is, though it may also be seen as random transpersonal communication with someone else’s unconsciousness.

Three Keys and the “Unfair Advantage”, from March 22, 2014. In this dream, I effortlessly transformed into a snake and back again, in other words, taking on the essence of RAS itself (very rare other than in apex lucidity at times). I eventually deliberately vivify my dream by opening a door; a large and difficult old wooden blue door, to such an extent that the vividness of the scene I stepped into seemed realistic beyond belief, even for me. It almost seemed as if I entered Alexander Siddig’s unconsciousness (though of course, unlike with Zsuzsanna, there is no way to validate this event). There have been other dreams with this implication.

In a dream I had shortly after my brother-in-law Bob’s mother died, I found myself approaching a door. I willed it open and was looking into an unfamiliar room. After time passed, I became aware that I might be intruding upon someone else’s privacy. Bob’s mother is sitting in an armchair, talking with her husband, who had also died. She approached the door while looking annoyed and slammed it in my face. (I had rarely ever even seen her in real life and this was my only dream of her.)

There are thousands of other dreams in which RAS mediation as a doorway scenario was a key factor of the waking precursor. Sometimes there is audio, including the knocking on a door or a door closing, depending upon which level of unconsciousness I am entering or leaving.

---

I'm staring at a blinding white light trying to type words as the ink of black stain the white pre scene I get engulf in words that are meaningless if they have no purpose the intent of the dream fades as I'm staring upon the glass I close my eyes and start typing words in my dreams as I'm dreaming I cant understand anything that goes on I jus see a floating of words trying to memorize the event that never happen I try to write more yet its just black ink staining the ominous white color as the black ink stains the white I see myself transforming in letters of gesture I only have when my eyes are closed

this is a crucifixion dream I keep getting crucified in a dark alley when I'm laying in my bed
I woke up seeing 3 fire spot that I had to stomp out when I try to stomp them out a fourth fire started then fading out after that I woke up in my bed

Fell asleep at: 10:30 PM

Woke up at: 6:30 AM


I think the dreams I had last night were about as vivid as Day One, but I'm pretty sure I forgot about them as soon as I woke up. All I remember are bright white flashes.

Fell asleep at: 10:30 PM

Woke up at: 6:30 AM


Dream 01: A New Member in the Family

I'm wandering around my house when I spot a pug-like dog on top of some towels. I go and tell my mom about it, asking if I could keep him (Or her). She said yes, but that she won't be responsible for what Dad does. She also said to call her when I'm in Mr. F's class.

He didn't like it when I brought those two stray puppies into the house, and we already have one other dog, so I kind of dreaded what would happen if Dad found out.

I put the puppy on the floor to to lay with the other pups. My puppies are quite the wily bunch however, so I pick the pug back up.

Dream 02: Gray Concrete

I find myself in, of course, a gray, concrete building. A couple of the unreputable students from my school are there. I go to a cafeteria where there's a soda fountain on top of the counter. It's at this point I start thinking about light-speed travel and transport myself to the "Thinkspace".

Because that's just the kind of think I think about when I'm bored. Maybe I watch too much Vsauce...

The Thinkspace is a thing I made up. It's basically what happens when the dream version of me starts imagining things in his mind, separating him from the dream for a little bit.

Bizarrely enough, it isn't a Vsauce video that plays in the Thinkspace, but an Oxhorn video. He talks about light-speed travel and shows a visual of a woman sleeping in a raft with her lower body being a castle wall. She may not be a "brick house", but she certainly is a castle wall.

Dream 03: Raider Troubles

Now I'm traversing a Raider infested parking garage with my sister, K. I manage to trick the Raiders into a linear platforming course (Think Donkey Kong Country) on the grounds of:

"They're not platformer characters, K. They won't make it past the first jump and certainly not the first run jump. Nobody holds onto the run button..." And I take my leave.

I go through a set of double doors and find myself in a school courtyard. I am by my lonesome, following a couple when I split up with them to join up with my friend, J2, a percussionist, who is sitting on a really tall chair.

I awkwardly say to him, "J2, let me...ascend..." As I shuffle my way up that stupidly tall chair.


Dream 04: Oh Shit, I--

I'm now in my history teacher's class, Mr. F. I remember that Mom told me to call her a bit too late, as class just ended and I'm too scared to pick up the phone.

A day later (In the dream, not real life) passes and I wake up on the couch. It must've been a Saturday, since I had no school.

My brother (J) tells me to get ready, since my mom wants to go take us surfing. Now, I am neither good at nor interested in surfing, so I groan to the top of my lungs to get the message across.

I tell my mom I feel sick and can't go surfing, and she gets noticably angry. She's in the restroom, by the way. With the door closed. And as soon as I reach out to grab my phone, she tells me to go to bed.

Then she snaps.

In a distorted, banshee-like voice, she tells me, "Why didn't you text me when you were in Mr. F's class yesterday, huh?!"

This woke me up. No joke, I woke up with an enveloping sense of both dread and shock because of this.

After having approximately 280 dreams in the journalling system and some spectacular ones in there, I thought I'd compile some fun and amazing facts about my dreams. Some things you may have picked up already from reading my general entries and other things, they may have been a complete surprise until now. I'll update the facts every now and then so they're up to date. So without further ado, let's begin!



Waking Life Journalling:
- As of 13 May 2018, dreams have been recorded into the journal over 330 nights.
- With dreams each night being separated into A, B and further letters, there may be nearly 600 dreams.
- The highest letter reached on the journalling system was F, which means that there were six dreams remembered in one night.
- The first dream to be officially documented into the computer system was in 2012.
- As of 13 May 2018, a total of 18 lucid dreams have been recorded.

Dreamer Identity:
- No one has ever called me by my name in a dream.
- Most dreams between 2012 and 2016 took place with my wearing my school uniform.
- My dreams have never heavily distorted me.
- Besides dream guides, I am the next most powerful and intelligent character in my dreams.
- In the real world, I am 19 but in the dream world, I am still 18.

Abilities:
- My elements are an exact replica of Spyro's set. What's different about them is the kind of attacks I perform as well as other abilities that Spyro does not have evident in games.
- My primary element was ice, but in more recent dreams, this has been shifted to earth.
- If I put my mind to it (literally), I can control an occurrence for any other dream character.
- Controversially, I am stronger in non-lucids and weaker in lucids.
- In one dream, I stopped Murray from falling to death by using my earth element to create an anti-gravity field around him.
- In an encounter with flying robotic enemies, the electricity element had caused them to malfunction and the result was that they fell down, ultimately being destroyed on ground impact.

Dream Guides:
- There have been a total of 12 dream guides (9 males and 3 females) in the dream time-line.
- Dream guides weren't formally recognized until Dreamy WB's début in Dream No. 76.
- Initials of the current dream guide were originally supposed to be Dreamy WT but this was changed to reflect the comparison of identity to her waking life counterpart.
- Dreamy TH, Noah, Dreamy NN and Murray are substitute dream guides for when situations do not allow the current assigned dream guide to be present.
- As of 9 May 2018, Murray has graduated from a substitute dream guide into an official dream guide.
- Murray was not supposed to be a dream guide and rather, I was supposed to be his dream guide; but uncontrolled actions by him tended to replicate Dreamy WB's methods.
- Murray is the only dream guide that has not had his personality altered and rather, he keeps the personality that he has been given in real life (in the games). The only difference that has been applied to Murray is a brain enhancement.
- On serious occasions (in his first set of appearances), Murray results to consulting me in my bedroom, preferably while having a hug with me under sheets.
- Murray has the ability to recall events from past dreams and re-address them if necessary.
- Murray is the only dream guide that isn't human.
- As of 31 January 2018, Dreamy WB has appeared in dreams over 81 nights.
- Dreamy WB is the only dream guide with an alternate name.
- Even though not in dreams together, dream guides must know about each other as Dreamy SW appeared when there was a crisis with Dreamy WB and she wasn't even asked in the first place.
- Noah is the only dream guide that hasn't been thought of in waking life.
- Dreamy WB is the most intelligent dream guide.
- Dreamy WB is so advanced that she can pass on and teach techniques of guidance to other dream characters.
- Dreamy WB's default race is African but she once appeared as European in Dream No. 216 B.
- Dreamy WB is the only dream guide to be messed around and potentially bullied by the "Awareness Behind The Dream".
- There is such a thing as an aggressive dream guide, Dreamy JSe was one of them.
- Since Dream No. 231, Dreamy WB has developed the ability to appear even without request from the dreamer.
- Dreamy WB is the most gentle and affectionate female dream guide.
- All male dream guides after Dreamy WB in the time-line are equally as gentle and affectionate as each other but in their own unique ways.
- The dream guide with the shortest amount of service time was Dreamy TH who only interacted with me when I was at one of his singing events.
- As of 16 April 2018, Dreamy WB is the only dream guide that has helped someone not related to me.

Dream Characters:
- The most aggressive dream characters are my parents.
- All immediate family members have appeared in at least one dream.
- Most unknown dream characters seem to be quite strict and cold in their personality.
- My brother is the most "pushed around" character in my dreams.
- My cat is portrayed as ferocious.
- LB is the weakest character, at least thought of by me in dreams.
- Most teachers tend to have negative associations attached to them.

Character Relationships:
- I rely on my mum a lot in dreams where she is passive.
- Dreamy WB has helped my mum out of trouble in two dreams to date so far.
- In one dream, Dreamy WB and Murray worked in tandem to calm me down after an upsetting situation.
- As of 9 May 2018, Dreamy WB and Murray have worked together in 2 dreams to date.
- There was one dream with a DreamViews user in it but their identity was not revealed.
- I am only ever severely bullied by male characters.
- Although they have never met, WB and Dreamy WB are aware of each other (As of 9 February 2018).
- As of 10 February 2018, WB and Dreamy WB have met but they do not get along with each other.
- As of 31 January 2018, Dreamy WB had successfully disciplined my parents in 3 dreams.
- On rare occasions, I have had to provide discipline to Logan (SML) although he is older than me.
- Even I work with them, I am not a part of the Cooper Gang, nor do I want to be labelled with such description. Rather, I am their realm leader; without me, they would not be able to perform well in the dream world.
- My deceased grandfather used to be a nightmare but through stong-willed techniques in the waking world, he has been transformed into a passive but friendly dream character.
- I am always standing up for my brother in dreams where he isn't sided with my parents.
- In real life, WB is shorter than me. In dreams, WB is shorter than me... But Dreamy WB is taller than me.
- There was one dream where Dreamy WB appeared to be shorter than me.

Car WTF


Just leaving a snowy trailer park in a car with my brother driving. The road we were on was suddenly vertical. Thought for sure we were going to fall to our death but my brother hit the gas hard and we made in up the road to safety.

Waverly Hills

Had a Dream I was traveling to explore Waverly Hills Sanitorium. I was in a city going over an overpass walking. I had the main key to get in. I got to the right bus stop. Suddenly I'm walking into the fence where Waverly Hills is and a lady from work was standing there and said rudely it was about time I got there. I looked at my watch and it was the right time.

I opened the gate and let a whole bunch of people in with cameras. Some were close friends and another one was James from youtube. The place also was renovated to have personal hotel like rooms. Me and James dumped a bunch of stuff off in our room. He vanished for a while and then I found him hiding in a closet looking scared. I asked him if he was going to film a video with us later. He said, "No bro, I'm too depressed right now." Or something to that effect.

Next Thing I remember was walking downstairs with my group of people. I noticed the halls looked newly renovated. It reminded me of the Omargoshtv video i seen of the place where he mentioned they were going to renovate waverly hills and turn it into a restaurant hotel. We all gathered in a dining room. I sat with Jamie, people were talking loud. There was an east indian girl sitting across from us but I recognized asuka in her. Asuka started yelling at me and Jamie and told Jamie that I was very insecure about getting older and that I already have wrinkles so don't bother finding him again in waking life. Asuka had a mean look on her face. I got up and left the table and ran up some really strange stairs and landings that went all over the place. At some point I passed Aldosworldtv and noticed he had a g7x camera. I was back in my room Jamie was there. I Told Jamie that Asuka is lying I wasn't even worrying about any of that. Jamie kept saying, "I know I know, she's not well,"

When I woke up. I Saw James had a new video of the stanley hotel. There's a part in the video where he goes to the most haunted room and hides in a closet where a ghost touches you apperently. And it was the exact same closet from my dream and he had the exact same expression. Here's his vid :

Afternoon of February 1, 2018. Thursday.



It begins like this. A person gets undressed for bed. Perhaps he or she sits or lies in bed for a time, while undressed, before going to sleep. Perhaps they watch television or talk on the telephone while undressed in bed in their preparation to go to sleep. They might think about recent social encounters as they sit or lie in bed, while preparing for sleep, while undressed. Later, they might have a dream of being undressed, perhaps in public, and then after waking, wonder “what it could mean”. Still, it is neither my place nor purpose to make light of society’s unfathomable buffoonery and shortsightedness in my public dream journal.

---

This entry focuses mainly on first-level dream state indicators. In this case, beds, bed sheets, and pillows are the focus as a reference entry to link (viable dream journal websites only, as on other sites it will just remain as a singular post).

Because dream state indicators of this nature occur in over twenty percent of my dreams, which I consider as quite natural and obvious, I have created this no-brainer reference entry for people who might otherwise puzzle over what this or that means in my dream journal. Still, there are specific threads of meaning depending on when and how a dream state indicator is rendered, especially if it is separate from other elements. (For example, although I often fly with a bed sheet as a “cloak” or “cape”, a bed as a flight symbol is uncommon.)

A bed could easily serve as either induction symbolism or waking transition symbolism. I do not consider it as pure autosymbolism since I relate autosymbolism as non-literal factors within the dream state (even though liminal space symbolism is analogically literal to real-life liminal space settings). For example, a bed in a parking lot (as I have actually dreamt a few times) would be a dream state indicator rendered into liminal space autosymbolism, even though this is a form of composite redundancy, where both factors, bed and parking lot, are indicative of being between dreaming and waking.

When I was very young, I used to see dream state indicators as a minimal form of RAS mediation (even serving to subliminally ground me to my real environment) to remind my dream self that my physical body is unconscious. In a way, that is still true, though I tend to see it more as a biological factor that carries over into the dream state, as impressions of one’s real environment often carry over into the dream state, especially the tactile nature of pillows and bed sheets. Even so, it could also just be a residual subliminal memory of having fallen asleep (assuming a deeper state of unconsciousness where environmental factors are not as influential).

I have often used a bed sheet or blanket to cover my body (when otherwise nude) in both lucid and non-lucid flying dreams (and certainly not because of modesty, as who cares about modesty in the dream state, but because of the realism of certain environmental factors in dreams, such as twigs and roof features). This validates that my dream self is aware of the status of my physical body, at least to a degree. Of course, in lucid dreams I do this on purpose, though in non-lucid dreams, it is a carryover factor, unrelated to waking life since the carryover is by habit of dream state awareness, not waking life focus. (One would assume this as obvious, but as I have learned, especially since 2013, empty-headedness, especially when it comes to understanding the dream state, is a dominant factor in many people.)

Pillows are in contrast to bed sheets as a dream state indicator in some dreams due to their association with vivid hypnagogia in childhood dreams. I saw pillows, mainly only those of one pale color, as a sort of hypnagogic “television” (even before I ever watched much television in reality.) By shifting my dream self’s gaze from pillow imagery to my dream’s much larger environment, I could vivify my dream and in contrast, by pulling the dream content in my dream’s larger environment “back” into my dream’s pillow, an implied threat becoming smaller and two-dimensional, restricted to the surface of my pillowcase, it became far less of an implied threat. This may be why I have rarely ever had significant nightmares other than singular examples when biologically premonitory.

Beds in unusual locations are as so, because a dream state indicator is typically unrelated to the rest of a dream’s content other than in the redundant example given above; bed in parking lot; though a bed in a lake is induction symbolism (as water is autosymbolism for entry into the dream state, and as a result, even a glass of water splashed in the face can vivify a dream).

There are times when dream state indicators of this kind are prescient, for example, in foreshadowing an illness. This includes cloaked figures (though not always) as a bed sheet or blanket association. There were two recent dreams about two of our sons, both related to them being in bed and somewhat tired, and both prior to a serious (though short-term) illness. One of these dreams included a cloaked figure of our youngest son’s height. However, such dreams also have a specific mood, which I hope to learn to hone in on to a more viable extent. Additionally, actually being tired in a dream (not necessarily being in bed) is an entirely different concept than just being in bed or seeing a bed incidentally, and usually indicates actual physical tiredness (at least for me).

---

Afternoon of February 1, 2018. Thursday.



Until I began to develop a greater understanding of dreams at about age twelve (though I had long since viewed “dream dictionaries”, or any books or articles on a dream’s supposed meaning, as asinine), RAS mediation, especially in apex lucidity, was more likely to render an attacking dog as a waking alert factor than a snake. There is a specific reason for this. While a snake is probably the oldest waking trigger (and of which likely serves as such for the dreams of all primates), a dog has an autosymbolic association with an attempt to control the dream state. I began to naturally both lucid dream and attempt dream state manipulation as a toddler and recognized the aggressive dog autosymbolism by around age eight, including in a later dream from 1970 where I shouted “You dogs are always ruining my dreams” when I was in an extremely clear state of apex lucidity. This caused the dog to teleport (ironically at my unintentional command) to trigger waking with the hypnopompic lower back jab event (the dog’s hard nose pressing into the small of my back). This is solely due to the “obedience” factor. It serves as a metaphor for the dream being obedient for the dreamer as would a dog for its owner. The main problem with this is that dreams are of a biological process and full biological control of one’s mind is inherently limited, not only by current biological needs (such as a need to use a toilet) and environmental factors, but by circadian rhythms. It is not the “subconscious” (as in popular myth) that has anything to do with this, but RAS.

It was common for a dog, usually black or rust-colored, often a Labrador, to be rendered as a potential dream state terminator in early childhood. However, over time, as I mastered RAS mediation to a certain point in the 1980s with hundreds of experiments, it is rare for a dog to be an attack factor in my dreams.

None of this has any relevance to waking life. I never held or maintained any fear of dogs and had never experienced negative encounters with dogs in my childhood. In truth, as with most of my focus on dream study for over fifty years, it is my natural connection to the dream state and awareness of its meanings that is the key factor. People do not seem to understand, since oneironautics is a main aspect of my dream experience since earliest memory in both lucid and non-lucid dreams (the latter by lifelong conditioning), that the symbolism relates to the nature of the dream state itself, not waking life, other than when prescient.

---

Afternoon of February 1, 2018. Thursday.



“A Carport as Liminal Space” also links to this entry. The only potential difference relates to my personal history in mostly living in houses with large enclosed front porches in contrast to one house, in Cubitis, with a large carport by which access to both the front yard and backyard was inherent. (In contrast, the Rose Street apartment, on the second floor of a commercial building, with businesses on the first floor, only had a minimal public entry at the foot of the stairs.)

---

“A Porch as Liminal Space” is one of my most common autosymbolic settings in the waking transition and has been as such since early childhood. A porch is autosymbolism for a specific level of unconsciousness, often rendered as the final setting in a dream when RAS mediation dominates the most. It is often triggered when my dream self, though often as a subliminal factor, wants to sustain the dream state (without viably remembering what a dream is), mainly as a RAS artefact from the otherwise lucid habit of “going outside” in childhood dreams due to it being a starting point for apex lucidity.

In many cases, I have utilized my understanding of autosymbolism in semi-lucidity to vivify my dream into astounding apex lucidity by using a porch as an “entry point”, though always in going outside (which makes the term “entry point” sound ambiguous even though it is not), and augmenting my dream into incredible clarity. This is because such autosymbolism is rendered while closer to the emergent consciousness factor (the same factor of which gives a subliminal cue to my dream self to attempt to sustain my dream). Unfortunately, it also means that RAS mediation is likely to dominate by rendering the preconscious as personified, which sometimes results in “intruder” dreams.

A porch represents liminal space regardless of which porch is rendered in my dream. Although my dream settings are always unique from dream to dream, there are cases where the porch of my present home is rendered in the last scene, though usually has a noticeable fictional aspect or different orientation (in conscious realization only, after waking). Sometimes the wrong porch is rendered with a particular previous home, or sometimes leads to a different location from where it did in real life.

As with certain other autosymbolic settings (excluding such as a bedroom or bathroom), there is no connection to waking life or the conscious self identity other than when prescience is a factor. In other words, it is inherent to the condition of being unconscious while subliminally seeking to sustain the dream state in preference to becoming conscious. This is why RAS mediation is most likely to dominate this setting in the final stage of a dream, typically by being at the entry point of the porch or becoming an intruder on the porch, as waking is a biological necessity. However, depending on biological or environmental factors, my dream self is sometimes allowed to use this setting as a dream state augmentation factor. Again, this is only utilized by going outside, as going inside would place me closer to a dream state indicator such as a bedroom or bathroom; a bedroom to remind me that my physical body is asleep and thus cannot stay as such forever and a bathroom to remind me of the eventually inescapable biological need to use a toilet.

---

A full understanding of this setting and its autosymbolic nature has brought me closer to mastering many levels of the dream state, even in non-lucidity.

---

I'm in some outdoors location near a barn. Some guy is there, and he bites my fist for some reason. I assume he's kidding but he's biting quite hard. Doesn't hurt too much, though. We crack some jokes, but suddenly the mood turns darker and the things he says turn quite nasty, and almost threatening. At some point he crosses a small wooden bridge, and I think we end up pointing shotguns at each other. I decide to back off, unwilling to die over such a petty matter. Suddenly, a zombie rushes in from the left and knocks him to the ground. As it starts tearing him apart, I calmly walk away. Prick deserved it.

A bunch of stuff happening in a GTA V setting. I drive a bunch of criminals around, swap cars to a parked police car, then hide under a bridge until the heat dies down.

I was awake but still in bed. My alarm was about to go off, but not quite yet. I closed my eyes and promptly started hallucinating. I manifested on a train. The railway car I was in was completely white (and very well-lit), with some bits in bright red. It was completely empty. No seats, no nothing. I had no body and could only look around. There was one person standing to my left. To my right, another. Every time I looked from left to right and back, the part of the train I'd looked away from had changed. Like, it changed shape. The people around me freaked me out. They didn't move at all, and showed zero emotion of any kind. Worse yet, they changed too, just like the train. You look at someone in the distance, look away, and when you look back it's another person standing much closer to you. Freaky stuff. At some point one of them got so close, I tried to give him a telekinetic push to make him back off from me. Instead of sending him flying, he just 'teleported' back a few meters, completely unfazed. Suddenly, that weird person looked like my grandmother (oma). That's when my alarm went off and I had to get out of bed.

Interesting side note. That alarm was for a job interview. When I got to the office where I was to have my interview, the interior immediately caught my attention. Minimalistic, with the two dominant colors being white and bright red. Not saying this 'means anything', just saying it's... curious.

It seems like the conditions for me to bring on a lucid dream are pretty standard. I began seriously trying to accomplish them last year at the new year. I would have about one per month and it was after I had gone back to bed from being awake but not quite ready to get up for the morning.

The reality checks during the day didn't seem to make much difference because this didn't happen every time I went back to bed, only some times. So what accounts for those time? Who knows.

When spring/summer came, and things were lighter outside, I could not maintain interest in writing down my dreams and so all things dreaming really fell away. It has only been in the fall and winter that I felt the desire to write down dreams again and from no preparation at all I did have a lucid dream this morning.

Morning of January 9, 2018. Tuesday.



This is part five of my prefatory series. It will only be viable (within a main index) on my main dream journal. So far, I have explained, as concisely as I could, four common dream components.

I have included hypnagogia and sleep paralysis in the same entry despite, in my own (apparently unique) experience; the two events are completely unrelated despite numerous articles I have read that link them together. For me, reading articles about hypnagogia or sleep paralysis is pointless and here is why:

People talk about “suffering” from sleep paralysis or hypnagogia, or that it “scares” them, which has never made any sense to me. They describe “dark figures”, “evil”, a malevolent presence, and so on as if they had some sort of tangibility or potential influence. Sorry people, this is something I have very limited experience with, even in tens of thousands of dreams in my over fifty years of study. There are exceptions, though these have been validated to mostly relate to biologically premonitory events or sometimes rare apnea caused by a combination of eating too close to the sleeping period and while sleeping on my back.

For me, if I find myself in sleep paralysis, I seek to embrace and enhance the experience. I do this by deliberately rolling my eyes up towards my forehead, which typically intensifies the perception of a loving entity being present and sometimes I am annoyed when I feel “she” is gone (though I never see her in this state). I sometimes hear a very pleasing humming sound (which I sometimes perceive as moving in a figure eight above me). I usually feel waves of pleasure moving through my body, from head to toe and back. Eventually, I usually, if I hold the state long enough, feel a rising sensation. I do not see any imagery while in sleep paralysis, I only have enhanced touch and sound, sometimes buzzing (even tangible lovemaking - female on top, especially one event with Zsuzsanna before I came to Australia to be with her). I also perceive in a completely different way than during hypnagogic sequences.

Now, I will go on to describe hypnagogia, which I also find very enjoyable. Since childhood, I like to remain in hypnagogia for at least an hour or more. During this time, which is always wholly lucid (and always had been, even as a toddler), I like to step into and out of dreams by way of conscious will, though I have to wait for the sequence to slow down. This is because when it first starts, it is very rapid, dream settings changing from more than one per second, though gradually becoming slower over time until it is a rate of about one setting every five seconds. Eventually, when it slows down to about ten seconds per change of setting, I step into a setting of my choice. I have done this since earliest memory and it is a very vivid and intriguing experience, but I never mistake it for being real in any way, though I do often slip into non-lucidity. (I did not realize that other people were not like this until I was about eighteen years old. I had read a little about it, mostly in dictionaries, but did not really read that many articles relating to this state. Imagine my surprise, especially when some people call it a “medical problem”. Much of the world is, sadly, very stupid.)

Most feasible settings in hypnagogia are vivid and colorful outdoor settings. This includes beautiful forests with rivers, lakes, and waterfalls (which I have viewed on a day-to-day basis all my life), neighborhoods with interesting houses, farmyards, train stations, and so on. Sometimes it is a beautiful underwater scene (such as coral or sea fans and various species of fish), which I most often just watch without entering (even though I can breathe underwater in the dream state). Sometimes the settings will seem to rapidly shake from side to side, slowly dissolve, to be replaced by some sort of grid or abstract pattern (typically like leaves floating in water and quivering) before becoming a different setting. Such an event usually only occurs once or twice in a sleeping period. For example, in one instance when I was a young boy, I was watching chickens walk around in a farmyard, some of them pecking at the ground (this was before my father decided to change our rabbit farm into a chicken farm). As I continued to view the scene, there was a very subtle roaring sensation and a sort of fizzing effect, and leaf-like patterns that replaced the setting after it quivered side to side (with no actual movement on my part, that is, no movement of my physical body or perceived movement of my dream self).

This is only one form of hypnagogia. Other types are too surreal to view as a legitimate place to “enter”. Curiously, zooming in or out, and longer panning sequences, as seen in movies, had never occurred in my dreams until I had watched television for the first time. To me, this is a very important realization. It tells me that watching television or movies creates a very profound change in the nature of perception. I have never read of anyone else facing up to this fact. This is ironic, in that hypnagogia itself rarely presented anything I had ever seen in waking life, which ultimately convinced me that something else was going on, though I am still not sure what.

Other forms of this state vary. For example, there is a state where I coalesce with other figures, typically only experiencing bliss or an amazing sensation. Glowing human forms (of different implied ages) jump into my chest, making me feel healthier or more vibrant.

There is a state where dream characters also rapidly change, yet while the setting is fully stable, sometimes faster than once per second (which has served as a reinduction trigger in stabilizing lucidity if it has faded, when I begin to become aware of this after about ten minutes).

In still another state, dream characters seem very odd. They may be only half-formed, or they walk around and phase through bushes or walls and sometimes get stuck.

In other states, I am able to summon (solely through automatic expectation) whatever vivid experience I choose. This is typically coalescence with other entities and is always a satisfying energizing experience, and is always near a body of water (such as a river, lake, waterfall, water park, campground, or swimming pool) usually in daylight. I sometimes marvel at the beauty of the water as the surface reflects certain patterns yet simultaneously reveals what is under the surface. As such, I may jump in and out of numerous dreams (at the rate of about one per minute or more) of this nature in about an hour.

Due to how I am apparently different from most people in this way, this particular entry is probably of no use to people who “suffer” from their dreams or dream states. Why am I different? On the one hand, I was a ten-month baby instead of a nine-month baby. While my mother “almost bled to death” giving birth (according to reports), she very quickly recovered. On the other hand, some people have claimed it is related to healing myself after my accident as a toddler when I nearly lost my left hand (when a large shard from a broken mug sliced through my wrist and out the side of my forearm). The nerves and tendons were supposedly too damaged (and reconnected incorrectly in surgery) to ever work again. Somehow though, after I willed myself to gain use of my hand (while both awake and sleeping), the nerves and tendons, even though they had been connected wrongly, began to work to where my hand had full use (with no difference in how I perceived which fingers I was moving as might be expected). Whether or not my deliberate healing of myself through different levels of consciousness changed how I became more aware of other levels of consciousness and their symbolic dynamics, remains unsolved, but it does make sense, as I am typically aware of what dream symbolism is representing as it is occurring, something that most people do not seem able to understand.

---

Morning of January 9, 2018. Tuesday.



So far, in my prefatory series, I have provided “Known Key Symbolism 2018: Common Liminal Space Settings (1)” and “Known Key Symbolism 2018: Dream State Indicators”.

I hope I have made it clear so far, of what I understand (and have often validated) from over fifty years of dream study. Due to the fact that many people only remember a few of their dreams (or none at all), they like to infuse “meaning” (that is, meaning not related to either the biological or the spiritual nature of unconsciousness or the dream state and waking transition itself, as well as no acknowledgement of literal dream threads including prescience) into what few dreams are recalled. Many people do not actually understand what lucidity is (or how it works) and consequently use the term loosely and incorrectly. They also (almost relentlessly) fail to see how someone like me typically recalls five to nine non-lucid dreams a day (minimum of three), not including the virtually limitless hypnagogic sequences (of which are wholly lucid) at the beginning of every normal sleeping period. As a cop-out, some people will say, “oh, but a few dreams have meaning and importance, but most others do not”, which is kind of like saying, “oh, sometimes the stomach’s digestion of food is important, other times, when the stomach digests food, nothing is happening and the stomach is not even there”. Many people fail to understand that dreams can be fully controlled (either with lucid or non-lucid dream self perception) and even purposely formed from one idea (including for healing purposes and unfathomable levels of bliss and joy), and the more one studies and understands what dreams mean, the more natural clarity of mind automatically develops, resulting in virtually no nightmares (unless biologically premonitory) or even disturbing dreams. Still, RAS (the Reticular Activating System) and I have had a love-hate relationship since early childhood, based on whether or not I wanted to sleep and dream longer or typically whether there was environmental noise or not, these factors completely irrelevant to “interpretation” or waking life.

People like to over-dramatize and systematically “answer questions” even where none exist in the way they are implying. They like to infuse another person’s dream with negative context even when there is none. They like to pretend there is conflict or major issues to “solve”. They like to pretend that the dynamically fictional dream self (personified subconscious) is the same as the current conscious self identity, even when there is no evidence of viable memory or even common sense on the part of the very limited temporary dream self.

Everyone else I have ever known of (writings of the public that is), in virtually everything I have ever read about dreams since childhood, confuses RAS mediation with the so-called subconscious. This is probably why the bizarre belief that “my subconscious is trying to tell me something” came about. The inability to discern RAS mediation from the generic subconscious is unusual, but to be expected in the public’s limited understanding.

It goes without saying that the dream self in non-lucid dreams can only be the personified subconscious (or the “subconscious itself”). Being that the subconscious band has no concept of time or space (or any viable intelligence or consistent memory) unless conscious self identity threads (certain active neural patterns) are extant, how can the subconscious “solve an issue”? (Many people tend to confuse “subconscious” with “unconscious”.) Since this is the case, where does the dominant preconscious come from? (Confusion also results from many systems using “preconscious” and “subconscious” as synonyms when they are very different bands, at least in my extensive work.) RAS comes in to mediate sleep-wake transitions, and such symbolism inherently reflects the nature of waking from the dream state. This is biological fact, not some sort of half-baked theory or popular superstition. More so, understanding RAS is what eventually creates the potential for consciously controlling the dream state (though not one hundred percent as waking is a biological necessity - though there are people who have an eerie degree of control over their heart rate), something many people cannot seem to grasp at all, because many people see dreams as some sort of inexplicable mental event that they need to “interpret”, yet with zero interest in actually understanding anything.

For review, to integrate what I have written in this prefatory set thus far:

Again, I have confidently stated, with certainty developed for over fifty years, that liminal space symbols are directly related to the waking transition and have no need for “interpretation” due to their inherent nature of representing and symbolizing, in real time, the space between dreaming and waking. (Again, I will also remind people that this association is literal when linked to real life perception. That is, a porch, a parking lot, and a store’s checkout are also liminal spaces in real life. I only chose those three for now, as they are the most common liminal space symbols in my own dreams, sometimes occurring several times a week and for over fifty years.)

Again, I emphasize that dream state indicators are based on residual subliminal memory of having fallen asleep and consequently usually have no need for “interpretation”. Dream state indicators naturally occur in my dreams more often than not, though I typically do not go into detail about them in singular dream posts.

Again, I emphasize that, on a basic level, liminal space symbols and dream state indicators are unrelated within the dream state and are two completely different processes (just as in waking life, as an example, thoughts about finishing an essay and recent memories about your girlfriend are inherently unrelated, a result of two completely different mental processes occurring at the same time), yet can be a part of the same dream sequence. They may also be integrated within dreams with additional meaning (of which is closer to waking life patterns or personal meaning), even prescient threads, yet in a way that may not be cohesive, which is why many people might be inclined to completely ignore such events or features or mistakenly “interpret” everything as a whole.

At this point, I will address the failure of people to understand that conflict in the dream state may be based solely on RAS mediation and have no viable connection to waking life conflict or internal conflict assuming any even exists in the first place. It is ironic how people refuse to understand RAS mediation (misunderstanding it as the subconscious this or subconscious that) and try to infuse negative context where there is more opportunity for positive affirmation and assertiveness or true understanding of one’s own mind (the most important factor that could exist in life).

RAS mediation in its raw mode likes to generate snakes as the waking alert, probably because this is a key factor of primate fear (and I am willing to bet that snakes are a common factor in the dreams of all primates). Ten different people have ten different dreams about snakes around the same time, and all one needs to do is sit back and watch the nonsense concerning “interpretation” or “meaning” and have no choice but to roll their eyes.

The thread of RAS mediation is likely to be that which chases (or intrudes upon) the dreamer, whether or not someone is trying to “escape” from something in reality or has any issues of conflict when awake. “Wake up and get out of bed before you wet yourself” may be the sole “interpretation” of RAS intrusion into the dream (or it may be an unknown or unexpected environmental noise that threads of the emergent consciousness become vaguely concerned about - for example, arguments between people we do not know, but who had been walking down the street early in the morning near our house, have intruded into my dreams and changed the symbolism, which of course has nothing to do with my conscious self identity or even unconscious essence). Whether or not I have conflict in waking life is unrelated to how RAS mediates my dream other than incidentally. I could use my dream to punch someone I do not like, and at least provide some “relief”, but does that really address any hope for an “answer”? I think not. Some people, for example bullies, religious zealots, or people who believe the world is flat, simply cannot be “solved”. The longer someone keeps a dream journal (though one must actually pay attention), the more obvious it becomes. There is a very clear difference between the nature of different dream state components, which I have vividly noticed since early childhood, all of that and inexplicable prescience as well.

---