All DJ Entries

I am in what I think is a smaller climbing gym inside a shopping mall. I am going to climb, and I feel good, like I’ve been back in it or something. I notice one other guy, sort of larger guy with longer back hair. I think his shirt is off. I think his presence makes me self conscious. I am climbing but it is also like I am clocked in as security at JCPenney. I start moving quite a few shoe boxes that turn out to be empty. I can’t believe that many would be stolen. I have my radio on, and I’m getting called to do something. Entering the shopping mall, I am running. I clear a few longer steps quickly and then slow down self consciously. I think I am following the middle school boys (what stole watches and socks the other night). I enter another clothes store and am walking around inside when I notice their security or associate following someone. He simply asks the person if he is going to buy something. At this point, I think I’ve lost who I was following or they are no longer an issue. Now, I am in the shopping mall, probably in a little communal area, with some unfamiliar? others. They are asking me if I got dirty or something like that. I look at the back of the pant leg on my Levi’s (that looks like mine but a little darker and newer) and there is a little bit of caked on mud. I think I’ve just washed them though, as the rest of them look clean. I glance up and notice that everyone in my view is wearing blue jeans of the same darker blue jean blue. Now, I am in some dim amphitheater-like room. There are large steps of stone and pebble that descend and end at a very small pool. I am running down these steps as well (possibly in slow motion?) At the end, I jump into the circular pool. While in midair, I had humorously asked if there were rocks at the bottom of the pool (concerned about my landing and impact). This pool could probably only fit four people comfortably, and it is between warm and lukewarm. There is a baby (in a diaper, I think)and one other in this pool. Now, I am driving. It looks like S. Virginia under the overpass, right before McCarran. I see multiple people in the street in front of me. They’re walking this way. Slightly annoyed, I’m going to change lanes to go around them to the right. Before I can, they sort of separate to give me room to get through. I notice that they have brooms or mops, so I slow to a stop by them and crack my window. The guy wants to wash my car. I say no and gesture by waving my hand in front of my neck. When I start to drive away, I see the rest of the group on the side of the road to the right. They look very sketchy, like prison-hardened. This impression is based on their face, neck, hand, and everywhere else tattoos, clothing, and also the look in their eyes. I feel bad for saying no because I don’t want them to feel bad or like I’m judging them. As I am driving off, I look at my hood and see that it is a little dusty but not really dirty. I am now on a more rural/residential road. There is snow, only on the houses and yards and not on the road. The area seems somewhat lower income; the houses are smaller and just slightly dilapidated, but nice enough. They are spaced nicely apart. It is sort of like I don’t really know where I am but do know where I’m going (or vice versa?). I now pull into the driveway of a house. This house is definitely unfamiliar, but I am walking up to its door and I have pliers or some sort of tool in my hand. There was a walkway in front of the house, to the right of the garage, leading to the front door. I don’t know what lives here, but I am going to go in. I think I am about to use the pliers when I hear someone coming to open the door. I throw the pliers to the side lawn as the door is being opened. The door opens, revealing an old woman. I am hoping she doesn’t notice the pliers lying on the grass. I am going inside with her now, and it is like she knows me. Behind the door she let me through is a foyer/entryway type area that seems to be outside but covered. It sort of then blends into the inside. She starts talking to me, and I think she thinks I’m her grandkid. I’d feel bad if that was the circumstance, but it almost feels like I am her grandkid. There is an old man in here, sitting at a computer. He says hi to me like he knows me too. We talk a bit, and I then realize it is Opa. I notice his eyes, and I notice his voice is the same. He is wearing blue sweatpants and has his feet up on the swivel chair. His mannerisms are exactly the same. I am about to leave now, as I think there’s something I have to do (write down this dream?), when Granny?/Reta shows up. Now I am kind of stuck here. We all talk for a bit until I can sneak outside. I walk outside to my car blocked into the driveway and Makayla just getting here. I notice Dad’s truck. The right side of the driveway is a bit more open, but I don’t think I could get out. Jon shows up now, wearing a sun hat, shorts, and a button up short sleeve. We’re all inside, a gathering of everyone, and I think I’ll be here a while.

I am at the Alibi brewery with Melissa. It looks mostly different though - the bar area is smaller and seems shorter, with seating at the counter. It faces the chalkboard tap list and wraps around the end at a 90 degree angle, which is where we sit. It is not very crowded, but there is a fair amount of people, probably right before it gets busy. It is dim and laid back. Right away, a blond girl in her early 20s comes over to get our drink orders. Naturally, Melissa wants a water. She then looks to me, but I haven’t had enough time to choose a beer. I know there is one that I want, but I can’t think of the name. I say “uh…” while looking at the list, hoping she’ll help me out a little. Instead, she just says something like “wow, you do hate me/why do you hate me?” It could’ve been a playful joke, but with the way she said it, it came off as serious. She leaves and them comes back later for a food order. Melissa gets chicken strips. I’m still pretty turned off by the girl’s comment, so I don’t think I get anything, and she doesn’t seem to care anyway. Melissa now has her chicken strips, and they have brought me a beer. It’s only about ¼ full. I sip it, and it is the one I was thinking of (it tastes like some German style, maybe a doppelbock?) and tastes good. I just can’t really believe they served it that empty, so I snapchat it to Brittney. The bill is $40, $20 a person I figure. I want to tip her absolutely nothing, and I don’t think it would be unjustified. I consider writing her a note on the receipt as well.

I am in a casino with Mom. We’re on what seems to be a longer and slightly raised section. There are slot machines interspersed up here, and I’m not entirely sure what’s on the lower section. Mom is gambling, and I’m walking back and forth for some reason. I notice that I’m wearing a tie dye Grateful Dead shirt. I walk past a couple and notice that they both have GD shirts or at least tie dye. The woman has lightly tie dyed and flowing pants. They both have brown hair and are probably in their late 40s. When I walk past them again, ‘Might as Well’ is playing and I am singing along to it. I look to see if they are also, and I don’t think they are. I also wonder casually they’ve seen my shirt. They seem to be looking at something off in the distance. I meet up with Mom now, and she’s holding a voucher. She’s telling me how she was up but then lost some money right at the end.

Had some nld and ld.

Was in emotionally pretty rough spot. Just old emotional trauma? Triggered and replayed. It was tough. I could have just ignored it or glossed over it with other activities but I didn't want that. Because if I did that... I wouldn't be lucid in the moment anymore. I could have lashed out at someone else, but I wanted to be better than that. And it was so tough. The emotional pain just wouldn't go away. I needed to take care of this emotional burden on my heart. It was rough. I didn't know what to do. Tried meditation, tried praying, tried and tried. I wanted to badly just to do something to numb my brain, but then I wouldn't be lucid in the waking, which would reflect in my dreaming. Just randomly decided to do shadow work on that feeling. Wow it worked.

started with hypnogogic images
4 awakenings,
saw a large manor near the shore
+ something about magic kingdom
(couldn't sleep well before, just emotional distress)

did shadow work around here

dream FA + deild lucid
I was in downtown area of T, was going to visit a relative or something. My mother wanted to buy clothes. I went but decided to go elsewhere. As I'm heading down the stairs, I see my dad there, he begins to repair something, I forget.

I wake or have a FA and decide to go back to dream

I'm back to the same place. Just seeing people going own the escalator and stairs. I'm trying to record my dream journal in my dream.

wake or FA here again I think and go back still thinking about DJ

I'm back in the same building but on upper floor. Lucid around here. Maybe it's a parking area or something but the wind from the outside is blowing apart my DJ. I try to push away the wind with my right hand but it didn't work. A middle aged lady looks at me weird lol. I still try to cover the wind with my right hand.

Wake/FA deild backed

Back but indoors now, a waiting area with bunch of chairs. I'm recording my DJ, perhaps lost lucidity a bit. I see a really buff tall guy pretty tan reminded me of the rock, kind of intimidating. So I just remark how nice his muscles are with gestures. He smiles and carries me off and I'm like "noooo". He takes me to a private bathroom and we fool around. More lucid. It was.. quite pleasant actually. My emotions were pretty stable and I stayed in the dream a little while after that. Good guy.

Wake

I'm exploring an outdoor mine or something with a bunch of friends, and we fall into a pitfall. We enter an underground mine dungeon and some memories aren't clear here. But we are defeating goblins or something. One of us is a chosen one of some sort and we need to help the blonde elf guy save the elven kingdom that were being invaded by goblins or something.

Wake

This one might be connected to last one maybe. We are in a basement house, just hanging out with some people(maybe relatives from first dream) we know. The room next to it piques my interest and I find John Chang, the healer in the next room. He's training us and I need to jump on floating square white platforms above the water and cross to the other side, then cross back. I complain that it's unfair, how others got a head start before I came in! JC tell me to look at the scoreboard, and the scores are mostly zeroes with a few 1, 2, 3. I realize that going around the lap isn't what the score's about and I look under one of the rocks. There's some secret inscriptions about techniques of sort as I memorize them. Others are still walking around and I realize I have to keep going. So the score is based on finding out secrets stuff around the platform, training the awareness while moving. I realized I was being trained for awareness within my dream.

Awake


notes:

Emotion more stable from the shadow working on waking, more stable ld. MORE STABLE!

Could not tell if I deild'ed back to dream or just teleported from FA bed to previous dream scene. I believe there may have been both. Bed was little strange on one awakening?

DEILD is awesome, I'm getting better

Training awareness in dream is a good thing. Dream trying to teach me to LD betterm maybe training in dream is more effective than waking. Getting trained by John was a goal of mine so yay.

Dreams all were sort of connected. Persistence?

I really WANTED to make sure I wrote my DJ down during my mini awakening. Perhaps I could have INTENDED for something I wanted to dream, then it would have been incubated really, really quickly.

Really fast incubation.


Always Lucid dreaming!

strange.

Longish dream. Begins where I am walking my dog at night through a park. I am with someone who is maybe xereniak. I see an angry looking kangaroo down the hill. I don't want my dog to go after it so I keep walking and holding onto my dog's leash. We wind up in an abandoned building. My dog is gone now but I don't seem to notice. I say this place is cool I would love to film it for a youtube video. Xer says that's not possible as this place will be torn down soon. We go down some steps when we hear other people in the building. Xer says the ritual is starting soon so we have to hide in and change clothes in order to fit in. We hide in a closet and quickly change our clothes. I have to get into the strange mormon underwear that its your entire body. I think this is silly. We finish changing and enter a chamber with a bunch of mormon kids. I forget the rest.


Jamie sends a message

I dream I get a really long facebook message from Jamie. she explains what she's been doing the past few years. she lived in various places and was in various relationships. But there's no mention of if we are on good terms again or not. She doesn't say whether she would like to continue with me or not. I wander a city landscape wondering if I should reply back. Should I say, "I'm always here for you no matter what."? I decide against it. She seems in that frame of mind where we are not good with eachother. Me doing anything will not work. And if there is anything I really hate it is the feeling of sending her a message and not getting one back. I hate dealing with that so I don't send a message back.

Bjork...

so in waking life. I get a sudden facebook notification that I am apparently a Bjork top fan. I can now leave comments she can see. Then the next night when I sleep bjork is screaming at me, "Why aren't you doing anything?" Maybe because it could be just a coincidence? Am I supposed to leave creepy comments like, "Hey it's me, that weird dream guy? Please, lets talk about it?". Still really skeptical If I was ever sharing dreams with her. Not sure what I am supposed to do here.

Jamie in jail.

A dream where I see jamie being locked in a jail cell.

more jamie dreams

I had one dream where we were kissing, and another... more checkers.

One dream that made me laugh: I ran into a blond haired co worker. Jamie was in the distance and seemed jealous. Jamie ran up to me and hit me really hard on the arm. Just because I found it funny doesn't mean I ever condone hitting.

Other various dreams where I am looking for Jamie but can't find her. She is tapering off again.

April 5, 2019

I'm in a pine forest near a cabin, getting ready to go to sleep in a sleeping bag on the ground. It's a beautiful warm night, with lots of stars in the sky. I'm looking forward to sleeping outdoors among the pine trees. My wife comes out of the cabin to see how I'm doing. I tell her I'm fine. But then, right before our eyes, a vertical crack opens up in the trunk of the pine tree closest to me, creating a crackling sound. It's maybe a foot long, 1-inch wide, and 2-inches deep. I point it out to my wife, but she's not really interested and goes back inside. The crack then gets a lot bigger, with more crackling sounds. It's now maybe 3 feet long, 3-inches wide, and 6 inches deep. Then, after a few more seconds, the entire tree falls over, with a loud crash. It fell away from me, but if it had hit me I wouldn't have survived. I'm now wondering if it might not be such a great idea to fall asleep out there with all these trees around me.

Comments: Didn't take any supplements, but my wife came home from a trip and woke me up almost 2 hours after I'd fallen asleep. Interesting that it was a dream about wanting to go to sleep, but in an environment where sleeping was a dangerous thing to do. Maybe my SC was trying to make me think of sleeping so I'd realize I was dreaming and become lucid. Too bad it didn't work. Would have been fun to be lucid in a forest on a warm summer night.

3nld no lucid. Not even a moment hadn't happened in a while. Deflated. Never wanted to give up so badly. Just do it. Just practice. Just go! Just go and you're there! I promise you the world and more, just go! A faith small as a mustard seed. That's all I need, nothing more. Just go, you'll see. Just go do it and you'll be it. Go now! You're at the lowest now just so you can jump your highest and soar across the clear blue skies. Go now, this time you'll succeed!

You're right there, but no one else can go for you.

Go
Always
Lucid
Dreamer

08 Apr 19:

First dreams recorded in 4 years. 2 fragments and one "solid"



- At a store, think I'm looking for new shirts

- Bookstore

- At a friends' parents house. I'm sitting at a table and across me sits someone who feels and gives off a vibe of his sister but looks completely different. She talks about quieting her job. Not sure who's choice it is though.
Somewhat further down the dream I see his father talk to my friend about the mother who apparently did something wrong or made a mistake that they find amusing.

So I started using the Awoken smartphone app to train myself to do Reality Checks in my dream. It works like a charm, for me at least. After responding to the app for only one day, I had 3 lucids last night. The most interesting of them was the one where I realized my goal and tried to gain control over/access to it. Below is my DJ entry.

---

I'm in this wacky world where there are all sorts of zany characters running around. It feels like a game mixed with a children's TV show. I have been here before in a previous dream and I become lucid.

I remember my goal, the reason I'm lucid dreaming in the first place and realize I have no interest in this weird world and dream freedom. I'm here to talk to my subconscious. So I try to focus and clear out the world so I have complete emptiness. It doesn't work, so I treat my dream as a machine that accepts commands and tell it to "clear out everything". And it does, it literally removed everything leaving me in complete darkness.

Now that I have what I want, I say to my subconscious: "Give me access to my subconscious." I do not get a response, but I can see my subconscious trying to force the world back in which I was standing before, forcefully trying to move it into place, I can even see white, bony hands trying to push the scene back together for me to walk in. I refuse and push it away with my mind and ask loudly: "Why won't you give me access!?"

Then a feeling of fear developed inside of me and out of nowhere the mad Majora's Mask moon shows up underneath me and a dark, angry voice resonated throughout the world: "WHY DO YOU WANT ACCESS TO SOMETHING YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND!!?" The voice surprises me and I am shocked my subconscious is this violent towards me. It's not just shock because of the response. The amount of power this entity exerted towards me was of such a degree that I felt like it could kill me instantly if it wished to do so. I froze for a second when it appeared in that fashion.

The voice keeps on talking on why I have no business trying to meddle in something beyond my control and it has me wake up to a false awakening again, but I am completely conscious of the fact that I am dreaming still. The house is very different. Not in the sense that the layout or location is different, but something else completely. It's dark, not only literally, but it feels like I'm somewhere I have no control. I feel fear inside of me as I see eyes on the walls everywhere, connected to each other like neurons and information travelling between them as electricity, as this voice keeps on rambling like a higher being, explaining that I shouldn't have access to things I will not understand anyway. I walk through the house and the walls are the same everywhere, with eyes looking at me. It feels really uncomfortable as I'm trying to explore the house. When I get to the kitchen, my dream has started taking over again, as my consciousness is fading and the last thing I see is myself walking back to bed. And that is where the memory ends.

---

That was quite the experience. I think maybe I came on to strong. Tonight, if I become lucid, I'll try just talking to it first, just a conversation, rather than demanding access immediately. Hopefully it will be more agreeable then XD.

2-3 nld
2 ld, short
Had some crappy events, emotions unsound. Solved in the end by labelling it, mindful way. Arose again today, overcame by visualization feeling kindness/love meditation.

dream 1
workplace, competitive co-workers, turn into vampire, overcoming obstacles, perishes in the end when I can't suck enough life blood.

ld
I think during a dream, I get the usual "feeling", focus on it and begin to see the ceiling, it becomes clearer and I see heirographs on the ceiling I'm looking at. I become a little excited, wake.

dream x
dreamt about boogie board

dream 2
friends in computers lab, doing stuff. expand later.

ld/ap
get the "feeling", focus on vibrations, feeling like I lost it but the sensation goes up. Feeling a bit non-moving, still in bed. Push the buzz higher, above head, pushed self out of body. Explore bedroom, hear stuff. Do gravity RC, gravity is lighter than normal. Wasn't sure, so tried to close bathroom door to do more checks. Begin thinking about the bed, where the body is, causing me to return to body.

Ohm nee loocid dreamin!

Awesome semi-lucid dream. I was in a meeting room (at the white house or similar-looking government building), seated at the table with a bunch of government officials. Opposite of me was the president, a white man but not Trump. To my right was a petite blonde girl (mid-'20s), my love interest and some kind of aide of the president. She reminds me of Harleen Quinzel before she turned into Harley. Other, unnamed people filled the other chairs. I was nervous. I felt like I didn't really belong there, and I couldn't really look the president in the eye. There was some talk, I guess, until I noticed the Joker appear out of the shadows. Suddenly I saw the table was longer than I thought towards the president's right (my left), and it was full of supervillains. The president and the other officials looked entirely comfortable with their presence. I think I realized I was in the DC-universe, but the girl told me to shush. I realized telling fictional characters they are fictional can have cataclysmic results. The joked them revealed several bare-chested men strung up on the wall, their faces painted like clowns. He gutted them like fish with a knife. I guess they were traitors. After the meeting, I was disgusted - the idea that the government was run by literal villains, and everyone was okay with this. My 'girlfriend' tried to play it down, responding to my outrage with stuff like 'don't you love me anymore'. She was clearly 100% on board with this. She touched me and playfully kissed my cheek, but I could tell she was trying to seduce me. Wind me around her little finger to make me agree with anything her masters wanted to do. I told her I was onto her. I told her I knew what game she was playing, and she was trying to manipulate me. Her demeanor changed instantly from faux-sweetness to silent anger. I felt a little bad for some reason, so I said being manipulative could be an asset in government. But it wouldn't work on me. Without saying a word, she walked away (she wore heels). I left the meeting. The building was pretty crowded with people on the inside. I took an escalator to the lower floors, where I encountered the Joker again but did not interact with him.

Outside the building, I somehow learned to fly. I don't recall how this happened. The world was rainy and dark. It was night. The atmosphere was very Blade Runner. I flew around, and noticed the city looked like it had been nuked in recent history. The impact crater was massive, easily 4 miles in diameter and 100 feet deep. In the epicenter, only the skeletal remains of a few skyscrapers still stuck out of the dust. I flew a bit further west, where the destruction of the nuke gave way to still inhabited parts of the city. There were colored neon signs everywhere, the text all in Japanese. I landed on top of a tall building overlooking the city. Imitating Hiro Nakamura from Heroes, I spread my arms and yelled 'Hello, Neo-Tokyo!'. The city had this synthwavey-cyberpunk vibe, hence Neo-Tokyo. I flew back over the crater, thinking about how the government was corrupt, and how these powers gave me a shot at doing something about it. I flew back to the 'white house' (which was about a mile outside of the crater to the northeast) and landed just outside.

While flying, my view sometimes got blurry, but I managed to make it clear up by focusing. During these moments, I had a vague awareness I was dreaming. Enough to apply LD-techniques. I also noticed losing altitude or making turns was easier if I slowed down first, which I did by sort of 'swinging my legs forward' as if to land. Braking in mid-air.

So, back at the government building. I got inside somehow. When there was a wall in my way, I used a brief burst of speed to crash right through it (like flight but at ground level). I was pissed. I felt angry at myself for being so spineless before, and not standing up to the bad guys before I got these powers. I was going to kill all the villains. I climbed the escalators. I saw a young woman, crying and being chased by an older woman who clearly wanted to hurt her. This is where it gets violent and a little gross. I grabbed the pursuing woman, and proceeded to rip her head off. It didn't really come all the way off, but her neck did tear. A man looked at me, wide-eyed. He said that these were androids, and they were supposed to be indestructible. At that point, my victim was really small (like a couple inches), like a doll made out of plastic, and I was ripping the head off with my teeth. It tasted like plastic, too... Anyhoo... I proceeded to make my way through the building with the intent to massacre the bad guys and assassinate the president.

--

I woke up, but fell asleep again after 15 minutes. I was inside a video game world. I was supposed to jump down into a massive hole. The center was the 'Door of Komalie', a gateway to Hell. However, I missed the center, and fell into the fiery void around it. I found myself in a really beautiful place. It was a void, like deep space, but it was filled completely with a bright orange and yellow nebula. I realized this was the universe nanoseconds after it had been born (or right after its death, time being cyclical). I just hovered in the middle, loving the view. After a while, I wanted to get back. I flew upwards, until I could see the world above me. Distances were so vast, I wasn't sure I could go fast enough to get there in reasonable time. But I managed to speed up exponentially, eventually bursting through the ocean floor and finally the water surface into the sky. It was still a rainy night, and I recognized the city on the horizon as NYC.

6/04/2019


I'm walking in the countryside and I enter in a forest, I can listen to the birds chirping and the wind and the wind that flows between the leaves of the trees and between my hair.
Then I hear some kids laughing and after a wile I see them playing in a glade among the trees, there are two boys and a girl, running near an old church.
I'm curious about that building because it's very old and mysterious, but I don't want to interrupt the kids so I decide to wait until they go away.
When the kids run away into the woods I enter the church and I find a small camp where two very small people live, they are so tiny that I can hold them in my hand. The first one I see is fat man with a rat tail sleeping on the ground, then on the other side of the church I see a little girl hiding behind a column, she is young and extremely pale with long, straight and white hair.
I don't want to scare her so I keep my distance and greet her with my hand, after that she seems to feel more confident and approaches me, I ask for her name and she answers me(I don't remember what she said), then we start talking.
After a few exchanges I ask her if she can give me some advice on how to have a lucid dream, she tells my something but unfortunately I can't remember anything of what she said.

Now I'm boarding at the nuns where I live and again I'm talking with the litte girl, we are becoming friend when a nun arrives and seeing what was happening remains shocked, gets angry with me and tells me that I should never talk to a fairy again because it could be dangerous.




I'm so sad that this dream doesn't turn into a lucid dream, the fairy could have toe me that I was already dreaming, it would have been easier; or maybe she did it but I don't remember.

Maybe juggled too much, too much med, grc visualization. Lacking rem.

Had a very short lucid moment. 2 dreams recalled.

Dream

In a hall by supermarket or mall. Friend t goes and splats yellow paint on people to enact a movie scene. People are not impressed. I get painted. I go in the mall to find something to neutralize it. For extinguishers and some other spray. Some friends use it and there aren't enough. Writing an assignment here for some reason.

I look around and find sticks. The jerk store clerk wants me to hurry up. He tries to sell me 800$ stick. He takes a break. I find 80$ stick that was better. It could fold up or extend with a button. Buy it. Another nice clerk helps me. Heads out.

Wake
Perhaps related to experiences of pressure sales. And friend painting is trying to make others around conform in a certain way.


Dreaming about meeting people on dreamviews. In a small room green/white theme, people are trying to get lucid. Going out to the beach and just swim and stuff.


Notes:

I should avoid visualization really hard until grc becomes second nature. Brain overloaded. Or avoid doing it too hard at sleep. Doing it hard earlier is ok.

Did I mediate too much before sleep again? I'm reaching the deep state faster than before.

Slept too early.

Need to do more shadow work.

MILD or intention about alrdy at goal worked better. Feel that feeling throughout day.

Getting too stressed. Take it easy but practice consistently.


Lucid every dream.

Date: April/6/2019

This was sort of a false awakening but at some point I thought that I woke up from a nap but then when I really woke up I woke up for real.

------

There was also this other part of the dream where I was in my grandpa's house and I was helping clean up the drinks (there were lots of bottles of Shani etc) and plates and bringing them inside and I was complaining about that.

Eventually we exited the house and started walking and there was a bus there and we were trying to run to the bus to be on time. We realize we're in India and we saw an Israeli tourist walking past. We run up to the bus, then.

Had 1 Lucid dream yesterday.