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Not able to get up
I keep falling on my back and someone constantly has to help me get up, but I keep falling.

Grey = awake
Yellow = non-lucid
Blue = lucid

---

There's something to do with Regina from once upon a time and a witch. They want to go somewhere with some circular magical construction in a gigantic warehouse made out of a black material, but they need food. Thus the evil witch decides to bring Henry from the same series as food. Regina of course says no and provides the food they need. Henry still goes with them, though. Suddenly there's a scene change to people going insane and violently throwing themselves onto their children. Suddenly I am one such child and someone sits down on me, and I wake up.

---

That was a weird dream with horrible themes. Not good.

No techniques used, completely random lucid after ~6 hours of sleep.

Had a long non-lucid dream about wandering around town while being late for work. In the end I ended up on a beach and because I felt extremely tired I laid down on the sand. Immediately, I felt a sinking sensation which I associated with WILD so I got somewhat aware already. I relaxed completely and 'awoke' in my bed the next moment. Being pretty sure of having a false awakening I got up and looked around. My surroundings were more vivid than ever; for further testing I precisely inspected some furniture nearby. I couldn't believe how real everthing felt and looked and RCed to confirm my dream state.

Walking over to the window I now saw differences to reality. There was a large window facade and I looked down into a sort of foyer with another wall consisting of glass. Down there was a DC with a bike trying to leave the building through the glass wall but couldn't get through. Thinking to myself that I'll succeed where he failed I passed through the windows (though they seemed solid at first) and slowly floated down. I tried to remember what I had planned to do next in a lucid dream but my memory was largely inaccessible. Only some tasks of the year came to my mind, so I proceeded to fly away from here. Outside I somehow found myself in my parents' garden - but a version from more than ten years ago. Suddenly, flying felt physically exhausting (what kind of nonsense in a dream...) and I woke up.

Morning of July 28, 2020. Tuesday.

Dream #: 19,580-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min 30 sec.



I am dreaming in an instinctual mode that transitions to moderate liminal modifications that define my emergence from illusory dream perception to the threshold of wakefulness and precursory physicality. My waking-life identity is irrelevant and absent throughout this process.

---

I am sitting on the couch in the living room of the Loomis Street house (unseen in waking life since February 1994). I have no recall of its history as my dream starts with a fanciful theme, with morphing content. The narrative initiates emerging physical awareness by first acknowledging and defining the immobility of my physical body while sleeping (a fundamental dreaming process).

My dream’s narrative begins with the creation of miniature walls (about a foot in height) with the appearance of the front of a barn (the quantization of the virtual division between dream space and waking space), featuring a hayloft door and barn doors. An unfamiliar male character of about twenty years old had been creating them under the management of British actor Mark Sheppard (this dream’s sleep-wake manager) who remains a passive witness, as my dream self is initiating the waking transition in this instance.

I instinctually continue the process by mentally creating a new version of the little wall. Its appearance differs from the original design only in that it features four miniaturized drawer spaces (without drawers), of equal size, beneath two adjacent doorways (where the barn doors had been). They are in two columns of two, and the feature matches the width of the barn’s entrance. A narrow column evenly divides the two doorways, directly above the division of the two drawer space tiers. (This feature instinctually acknowledges the compartmentalization of neural activity while in REM sleep, though with the anticipation of achieving consciousness.) Mark looks on as I feel cheerful about this more elaborate design.

The modulatory process (co-occurrent with progressing towards wakefulness) continues with a change in the feature. The area where the drawer spaces were is magnified and isolated while the rest of my dream’s environment becomes undefined. I see two miniaturized gray boom gates that mirror each other, facing the center. This feature instinctually anticipates the exit point of the dream state. As a result, somatosensory dynamics initiate. I push down on the tip of the little boom gate on the right, and it springs back up (sleep atonia to myoclonus).

My instinctual awareness of my immobility while sleeping (sleep atonia) integrates into the next change in the feature. Mark remains, but I do not look at him. The little boom gates transform as the area is now over twice the size as previously. They are now tonearms that face each other (similar to those of a 1950s record player).

I become aware that there is motorized clockwork higher within this feature, though I wonder if the tonearm on the left is redundant or if it might interfere with the function of this device. I move the right tonearm in the manner of how I would use it when placing it on a record. The left tonearm only slightly moves on its own as I do this. Mark says he does not think there will be any problems with the new design.

---

Even though this dream utilizes the usual processes, I found this particular sequence fascinating in its uniqueness and inventiveness.

---

Factors not explained in the main entry:

Hayloft door (quantized in the miniature wall): Instinctual anticipation of the vestibular system ambiguity as a result of being in REM sleep. A recent variation of this occurred in “Conspiratorial Murals (‘Tickle Me’ Influence),” where my dream self even made a vocal acknowledgment of the process.

Tonearms: Correlation with liminally becoming aware of the physicality and potential mobility of my arms during the waking transition (sleep atonia to myoclonus).

---

I stood in front of a complex that overlooked a public garden. This facility had long awning windows; its reflections surprised me because they were so detailed and real. My view cut next to the interiors of the dorm rooms. There were a series of bunks tucked to the walls, a couple of drawers, and a cabinet. We formed a group of four, and every morning we would wake up to write our dreams from the night. When we finished, my awareness would jump back and wake again, repeating the same process over and over. Two people patrolled around the area, so we couldn't leave the room. They were also against recording our dreams; we were vigilant of their whereabouts all the time and hid our dream journals below the mattress. Once I borrowed a book from one of my friends and pretended to be reading while writing on one of its pages.

We were stuck in a loop until one morning, something different happened. Awake in my bunk as always, I wanted out from this building. The door to the dormitories was locked though, and as if in a video game, I could see a set of instructions plastered on the top left of my perspective. Grab the keys from Liz, it read. I found them when I searched inside the drawers around her bunk, then proceeded next (per the directions on the screen) to open the cabinet. But then, I was hit with a sudden suspicion.

This looks familiar, I thought.

A short squeeze grabbed hold on my left side. I gathered my thoughts more clearly, Where is my real body?. And I answered, My real body is lying in bed... sleeping right now. This, this is a dream.

Now I was lucid, but the dream collapsed in the moment of awareness. Again, I saw nothing.

The transition, I thought.

I shouted clarity, clarity please! into the void a few times, but nothing seemed to happen. I tried stating an affirmation next, that the dream would fall into place, reappear in front of my eyes, nothing still. I waited, and now focused on the uncomfortable sensation.

If I pay attention to it, perhaps...

The squeezing increased... I woke up.

Tiny fragment
Something moving in a room. Maybe having to do with a dragon.

brief HH of holding keys in my hand. I just remember the keys are from work and i use them to open the compactor room door. However IRL the keys went missing.

I did have a jamie dream but i remember nothing about it.

Vague sense of a longer dream but it eludes me.

I'll have to figure out a better sleep cycle. Working nights 5 days a week really sucks. It's like jail.

I’m in my car with Melissa, driving us somewhere. I think I need gas, so she tells me where to go. She tells me to go left through this roundabout and then to take a right, and I do so. I notice a car coming to the roundabout and think it’s not going to yield to me because everyone assumes no one will take the second exit. Indeed it doesn’t, speeding in front of me. I’m driving down a hill now. The area is very green, with many leafy trees and a large grass area. There’s a large pond in the grassy area. We are now swimming in it, and the surrounding area doesn’t seem as green anymore. A few people in kayaks pass us, too closely I think, and say not to fish/swim in here, humorously. I jokingly say we won’t. I think he meant not to submerge ourselves, which, looking at the murky water, I’m not going to do anyway. We’re out now and on the sandy shore. I’m laying face down on either a towel or my shirt so I can dry off.




I’m on my bed with Melissa and I think we’re each doing something separately. On my record player I am listening to a Brokedown Palace from 1972. Bobby is telling the crowd to shut up and says “oh, I don’t wanna sing” to the melody of the song. I chuckle at the historical interest of it, and Melissa makes a comment too. Now I go out to see if the air is on. I think it’s been running all night, same as the water. We also watch an animated movie with a twist ending or something that suggests a sequel.
*Last night I meant to turn the water off but kept forgetting.

38 ОС (5) Redwinecat мне денег должен.
15 января 2012
В неосознанном сне мне один персонаж подсказал, как попасть в параллельный мир. Нужно было зайти в левый портал. Портал представлял собой турник, на территории школы. Нужно было пройти под ним. Все "ученики" шли в одну сторону портала. Я же пошёл с другой стороны. Вроде как одному из них это не понравилось, и он последовал за мной чтобы вернуть.
На другой стороне портала, немного изменилось восприятия, больше на реал что ли стало смахивать не могу точнее описать(другое освещение, вокруг ни души, не считая того парня что направился за мной). Я побежал от него в сторону дома, но выбежал на другой двор. Побежал с того двора, но опять оказался у школы. Была мысль, что что-то хочет вернуть меня назад, в тот мир из которого я вышел. Я развернулся и снова направился в сторону дома. Ко мне в моменты этих перебежек уже пришло осознание, что наяву такого быть не может. Говорю себе: "Вот дом, я его вижу, иду по прямой, прямая самый короткий путь, никуда он от меня не денется" За время пока я шёл к дому, сон несколько раз терял свою стабильность, приходилось падать на землю и щупать всё подряд, один раз даже подобрал какую-то палку в зубы. До дома оставалось уже немного, и я решил побежать. Вроде как и бежишь, но дом ко мне не приближается. Когда я наконец то до него дошёл, вместо дома было уже кафе.

Зашёл внутрь этого кафе. В двери вспомнил про эксперимент redwinicata. Захотел упасть на спину, но вспомнил, что я уже сёдня падал(В реале, я такого не помню ). Прошёл дальше в кафе. Стал звать redwinecat ты тут есть?! Большинство спрайтов посмотрели на меня, как на идиота, потом один прикола ради ответил, что мол да вон я тут. Я подошёл к нему и объяснил про форум. Тот с понимающим видом замолк. Далее я встретил знакомых и в результате разговора с ними немного потерял осознанность. Поговорив с одними, подошёл к другой знакомой. Она сидела одна за стойкой бара. Выглядела счастливой и с улыбкой на лице. Поздоровался с ней, поговорили о чём-то, потом предложил выпить, только при условии, что за мой счёт. Сказал ей, что она всё равно не на работе, можно и расслабиться малость. Она согласилась, но сказала, что мы пойдём за дальний столик. Спросил у ней поможет ли она найти redwinecatа. Ничего не ответила, но я понял, что не знает такого. Вообще воспринимал её как живого человека, который то же видит сон, просто воспринимает его по другому, не совсем так как я.

Далее перед тем как пойти за дальний столик я ещё раз спросил. Знает ли кто redwinecatа?
Ещё какой то спрайт вдали ответил что да я тут, и рядом раздались смешки. Тут я почему то стал говорить что redwinecat - это такой ник на форуме, он мне тыщи 3 денег должен, и мы договорились с ним встретиться в этом кафе, только как я понял он не пришёл. Ничего так и не добившись я пошёл со знакомой к дальнему столику. Тут у ней что то случилось с ногами - они исчезли. Я спросил её что с ними, потом вспомнил, что это сон и восстановил их мысленно. Знакомая вправду превратилась в куклу, но я на это никак не реагировал, продолжал идти как ни в чём не бывало. Мы вышли в какой то коридор, где не было ни одного спрайта. Я спросил её:" Ну где твой дальний столик?" Кукла мне явно ничего не могла ответить. С коридора веяло страхом. Я решил перебороть страх, и дойти до конца. На этом сон кончился.

Выводы:
1. Турник во сне служил порталом.
2. Странное ощущение с восприятием. Чувство некой инородности.
3. Бежал вперед, но оказался в исходной точке. А потом вообще никак не сог добежать до нужного здания.
4. Пространство искривилось. Вместо дома я вышел к незнакомому кафе. Ну и как это картографировать?!
5. Применял технику ощупывания. Помогало подольше удержаться в ОСе.
6.redwinicata я так и не нашел.
7. Спрайты смотрят на тебя, как на идиота, когда говоришь с ниvи о форуме. Даже объяснение пришлось выдумывать, чтобы дураком не казаться. Бред. Видимо тут осознанность снизилась.
8. У знакомой сначала исчезли ноги, а потом она превратилась в куклу. Тем не менее продолжал к ней относится, как к живому существу.
9. Примерное время нахождения в ОСе - 9 минут.


38 LD (5) Redwinecat owes me money.
January 15, 2012

In an unconscious dream, one character told me how to get into a parallel world. It was necessary to go to the left portal. The portal was a horizontal bar on the school grounds. It was necessary to pass under it. All "learners" walked to one side of the portal. I went from the other side. It seems like one of them didn't like it, and he followed me to return.
On the other side of the portal, perception has changed a little, I can't describe it more accurately (other lighting, not a soul around, except for the guy who followed me).
I ran away from him in the direction of the house, but ran out to another yard. I ran from that yard, but again ended up at the school.
There was a thought that something wants to bring me back to the world from which I left.
I turned around and headed towards the house again. In the moments of these rushes, I already realized that in reality this could not be.
I say to myself: "Here is a house, I see it, I am walking in a straight line, the straight is the shortest way, it will not go anywhere from me." During the time I was walking to the house, the dream lost its stability several times, I had to fall to the ground and feel everything , once even picked up a stick in the teeth.
It was already a little before home, and I decided to run. You seem to be running, but the house doesn't come close to me. When I finally got to it, there was a cafe instead of a house.

I went inside this cafe. At the door, I remembered the experiment redwinicata. I wanted to fall on my back, but I remembered that I was already falling today (In real life, I don’t remember this ).
I went on to the cafe. Began to call redwinecat are you there ?!
Most of the sprites looked at me like I was an idiot, then one for fun answered that they say yes I'm over there. I went up to him and explained about the forum. He fell silent with an understanding look.
Then I met acquaintances and as a result of talking with them I lost my awareness a little. After talking with some, I went to another acquaintanc.
She sat alone at the bar. She looked happy and had a smile on her face. I greeted her, talked about something, then offered to drink, only on condition that at my expense. I told her that she was not at work anyway, and she could relax a little. She agreed, but said that we would go to the far table.
I asked her if she would help find redwinecat. She didn't answer, but I realized that I didn't know that. In general, I perceived her as a living person who sees the same dream, just perceives it differently, not quite like me.

Then, before going to the far table, I asked again. Does anyone know redwinecat?
Some other sprite in the distance replied that I was here, and there were chuckles nearby.
Then for some reason I began to say that redwinecat is such a nickname on the forum, he owes me 3 thousand money, and we agreed to meet with him in this cafe, only as I understood he did not come.
Having achieved nothing, I went with a friend to the far table. Then something happened to her legs - they disappeared. I asked her what was wrong with them, then I remembered that it was a dream and restored them mentally.
The acquaintance really turned into a doll, but I did not react to it in any way, I continued to walk as if nothing had happened.
We went out into some corridor where there was not a single sprite. I asked her: "Well, where is your far table?" The doll clearly could not answer me. Fear wafted from the hallway. I decided to overcome my fear and go to the end. The dream ended there.

Findings:
1. The horizontal bar in a dream served as a portal.
2. Strange sensation with perception. A feeling of some kind of foreignness.
3. I ran forward, but ended up at the starting point. And then I couldn't even reach the desired building.
4. The space is curved. Instead of home, I went to an unfamiliar cafe. How can you map this ?!
5. Applied the technique of feeling. It helped to stay longer in the LD.
6. I never found redwinicat.
7. Sprites look at you like an idiot when talking to nivi about the forum. Even an explanation had to be invented so as not to seem like a fool. Rave. Apparently here the awareness has decreased.
8. The acquaintance's legs first disappeared, and then she turned into a doll. Nevertheless, i continued to treat her as a living being.
9. Approximate time spent in the LD - 9 minutes.

Something about going somewhere on a boat. I am trying to decide on a room for the trip. I see that they have a deck for scuba diving, and think that would be a neat place to stay. They apparently have sleeping quarters here. When I look more closely, I see that instead of rooms we have chambers in which we have to stand – kind of like some stasis chamber in a sci-fi show. It doesn’t look very comfortable in real life. I then start to wonder if I will get seasick. I’m already beginning to feel a little bit queasy.

Woke up 5 am and had a bad stomach. I went to bed 90 minutes later and had an accidental WILD. I'm aware but my vision goes darker and there are some shifting patterns. There is a face that is grey and pointy. It starts to spin around. I dreamt about eating snacks and I ate some of that snack the same day.

Date of Dream: SUN 26 JUL - 2020



Dream No. 697 - Separated Sections

Dream 697 A - Drive Or Stay Home
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, my family were planning on going to a holiday to Apollo Bay. My parents were discussing arrangements at the time such as who was going to drive there. It was supposedly going to be a long drive, so I suggested that I drive a portion of the way. I said to asked my mum if I could drive down the portion of the major road that was going to be straight, but my dad wasn’t having any of it.

After I failed to get the message through to my dad, my mum tried explaining to him. He kept insisting though that I wasn’t allowed to drive and he said it in a mean and somewhat aggressive way. Though by now, I wanted my way and since my dad kept resisting, I snapped and said that I wasn’t going to go on the holiday with them at all and that I was going to stay home. The dream ended as I walked into the house to begin my home-stay and my parents and brother were getting ready to leave.

Dream 697 B - Kairi's Light
The dream started with me wondering around in my old house. A middle aged Asian lady approached me and brought my attention to some sort of video that Kairi had made to supposedly teach others about her light and its powers. As she suggested for me to watch it, I went over to the sitting room and sat on the couch as the lady set up the video and darkened the room. The rest of the dream was now a sub-scene, which was the actual video, the dream camera now actually immersing me in it rather than playing from the sitting room.

The scene showed Kairi in The Final World and both Sora and Riku were also there with her; all in their KH3 appearances. Also, as the entire scene played, Kairi’s theme was running in the background. Kairi was saying something, insinuating that she used to have different powers but that she chose her current light powers for a reason. She then went to the group. Although they were standing equally apart from each other, it’s like the dream gave the illusion of Sora being in the middle and Riku was off to the side.

And then the dream camera went to a close up of Sora, though I can’t exactly explain what he was doing persay, I think he ended up looking at me, studying me, but I’m not sure. But then the dream panned out again and that’s when Kairi was seen to close her eyes and then peacefully ascend somewhat, with when she was at the highest, she was glowing with all this light. When she descended again, she walked back over to the dream camera again to supposedly communicate with me. She did say more but I forgot what it was that she said. The dream ended after this.



Dream 697 A
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

Dream 697 B
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No



This is the second time I have successfully completed a task for a 'dream project' that I have set. I thought since Riku is my current dream guide, and he's from Kingdom Hearts which is a world that seems to have laws of its own, I thought I'd do something to give back to him for helping me pass all my university subjects as well as all the other times he's helped me in-dream. I thought that since the last KH game, Sora has gone missing; so the dream project that I have set is for me to incubate dreams where I may get fictional leads on Sora. The dreams form the 'assignment' component, and then in waking life, I'm going to write an imaginary report on my dream findings which forms the 'exam' component.

For the assignment component, I set six compulsory tasks and one optional task to carry out in dream. The tasks are as follows:
Task 1 - Have Riku take me to Shibuya so I can gauge the area that Sora has to survive in until IRL canon rescue via whatever game they make next.
Task 2 - Conduct a supervised audit on Yozora. 'Supervised audit' meaning that Riku has to be accessible for assistance if Yozora gets bad in the dream.
Task 3 - Get Riku's perspective on his connection with Sora.
Task 4 - Pull Sora for a one-time 1-on-1 meeting with me so I can get his perspective on any matters.
Task 5 - Explore the Destiny Islands to get some leads on Sora's homeworld or something about he himself. Riku can take me or I can go independently.
Task 6 - Conduct an independent audit on Organisation XIII. 'Independent audit' meaning I don't need a dream guide in attendence.
Task 7 (optional) - Get Kairi's perspective on her connection with Sora.

Once again, Task 7 was optional, meaning I wasn't attempting to incubate it in real life, but could execute it if I stumbled upon it in a dream, which is what happened last night (this morning actually; the sun was up when I woke up and fell back asleep).

So far I have completed Task 5 (Dream 693 C) and Task 7 (Dream 697 B). I still have 5 tasks (1, 2, 3, 4 and 6) to go before I write up the paper which I have given myself the imaginary rule of two days to write 'till it's due. The two days will be set once all 7 tasks have been completed.

Lastly, although Riku was in the scene, I have not declared him as a dream guide here, because this felt like it was Kairi's spotlight and Riku was such an insignificant part of it, so much so that he didn't even shudder or speak.

I don’t remember much from the last two nights. A fragment or two, and one near lucid:

Buying Food (fragment)

…I am in a cafeteria-type place buying food. I think it might be chicken. I put a piece of something on my plate…

Riker’s Lucid Dream

I am in a bathroom. I try to turn on a light, but it won’t turn on. I try another light or two, but they don’t turn on either. Then I remember that I sometimes dream that I’m trying to turn lights on, but they won’t turn on. I do a nose pinch RC, and find that I can breathe. However, I somehow get the impression that this is Riker’s lucid dream (Riker from Star Trek TNG). Not mine, apparently?

I don’t know if I was lucid but not thinking clearly, or if I wasn’t lucid. I don’t know exactly what it meant that it was Riker’s dream. That I was a DC in the dream? Or that I was actually Riker dreaming that I was someone else? Either scenario would be interesting.

21st May

Bits from one or two dreams? Didn't make notes in the morning, was too tired.

Dream Fragment:

I was in a desert or barren canyon type of place. I was driving some kind of motorbike, called the "MotorBeast" or something to that effect. I remember accelerating with my right hand and making note of the extremely loud roar from the exhaust. I did some acrobatics or was in some high speed sequence?

Next thing I remember, different place, but related in some way. There was a dream character, he was simultaneously my teacher and an avatar of Anubis. But we had to fight and so he was like a boss of some sort. I remember chasing him through this dark and ancient Egyptian temple/crypt place. There was a dark red tint to everything and even though daylight broke through the ceiling in certain parts, it was still dark, like the exposure made dark places appear brighter but bright places appear much darker.

I remember the character taunted me from behind a half wall and pillars. I couldn't reach him but shot him with a Torgue grenade launcher set to sticky mode. I remember the feeling of holding the weapon with only my right hand and the feeling of pointing it. It felt intuitive, but in retrospect it seemed far too light for what it was. After emptying my clip, the explosives went off in sequence, causing him heavy damage. He was nearly dead (I knew through some interface display?) but he was able to run very fast through a narrow hall crowded with unknown dream characters, which were his minions. I believe they looked like mummies.

Eventually I caught up to him, finding him in a small room around a corner, where he was using some kind of self-bandaging ability (like in WoW). I tried shooting him to interrupt it, but I think something happened right after I did that, and the dream ended.

---

Notes:
- The bit where the Anubis character ran away at high speed when on low health now reminds me that some boss in Killing Floor did something similar.
- The Torgue weapon was notable because I'd recently been playing BL3 and I always loved the Torgue shotguns in BL2; it should have been a somewhat obvious dream-sign here since it was somewhat out of place in the rest of the dream's context.
- Though I didn't think of this at the time of this dream, I now feel as though there is a bit of a link between the motorbike and the Torgue gun since those guns are typically modelled after big engines and the like. The dream felt more randomly put together at the time but I feel like I could unpick it better now in terms of contextual/schematic associations.

Date of Dream: SAT 25 JUL - 2020



Dream No. 696 - Kingdom Hearts In Shibuya

I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, I was surfing one of the Discord servers via my computer. For this scene, I wasn’t in it, rather I felt like I was spectating the scene via a live-stream being played in the server. Through the live-stream, I saw both Riku and Sora in Shibuya, sporting their relevant Shibuya appearances from the actual game. Then Riku spoke, and he said to me that the reason they weren’t saying anything is because they both wanted to have on their records, when they return home, that they maintained peace within themselves. I can’t remember anything else about this dream.



Dream No. 696
Dream Guide: Riku
Lucid?: No