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Non-dream stuff - only a couple of non-lucid fragments, have vague memories of more but can't put them to words.

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Fragment 1:
Remember being at a rustic village or inner area of a castle with my partner. It was a popular tourist attraction in the dream's context and it was day time.

We walked a path until we were at a place with shops, and one shop we stopped by was a wine shop. They showed us some special packs we could buy, and for whatever reason we were interested. The wine "bottles" were odd though, because they were the shape of a drinking flask, even though they were still made of glass. They even had paper labels like normal bottles.

Some of the wines were unusual; one was made from peas. I remember the lady at the counter asking if we wanted other specific ones like "homosexual (something?)" wine. Most of the wines made no sense, even in the dream. We still ended up buying 2 packs of 9 flask bottles each...

Fragment 2:
Was playing some sort of old real-time-strategy game. Remember getting annoyed by the fact that some interactions simply didn't work at all like expected.

Morning of July 21, 2018. Saturday.

Reading time: 3 min 2 sec. Readability score: 80.



In my dream, I am Cadbury (the butler) from “Richie Rich.” Nothing in my dream had anything to do with anything that had been on my mind lately, though was based on dream representations from many years ago. It was surreal but intriguing.

Two girls are visiting a neighboring castle in one scene, though the backstory implies that their father does not want them here. They live in the castle where I am serving as a butler. I am in an unusual room that looks as if it is part of a garage. The girls are annoyed when two of their pets come over; a dog (like Toto from “The Wizard of Oz”) and a cat (our youngest cat from real life). They are talking to the owner of the castle when this occurs. I take the blame, and they make comments while calling me Cadbury. Perhaps I had left a door open. The girls round up their pets, and we make our way back to our castle.

We come to an area where we have to walk on a very narrow ledge before reaching the front entrance of the castle. It is high above a large body of water. Without giving it much thought, and before getting onto the ledge, I push one girl (the one carrying the dog) so that she falls to the water far below. The other girl does not notice and keeps going despite how difficult it is to stay on the ledge. Her cat walks across on its own. I realize that I am carrying a small empty plate in my right hand. I let it go, as I have to have both my hands free to hold onto the corner as I put my legs around to stand on the ledge. It falls far below into the water as well. I vaguely wonder if it will serve as evidence if they find it, as it would have my fingerprints on it. I soon become very annoyed in trying to walk on the narrow ledge and decide that I have to try to get into the castle by a different route.

I find myself walking on parts of a submerged house. It is near another small residence. The castle is now at a distance. I try to balance myself as I eventually find myself walking in another area near the castle. It is an entire section of the castle that had also been submerged on purpose and is face up. It had been this way for many years. There may have been a conspiracy with the past residents of the castle. Thus, this big section was deliberately submerged. Despite its size, it still moves up and down somewhat as I walk upon it. As I walk, I make larger and larger waves that eventually slam into the castle, going under the door. The sense of weight and momentum and the setting, in general, is incredibly vivid and realistic, as is the sound and movement of the water.

“Cadbury, what have you done?” calls out a voice. The large wooden door opens, sliding upward. Two unknown men are present. I see mud on a big television to the right, but I see no evidence of water anywhere, even though an extensive amount had just washed under the door. “You were told not to use this entrance,” one man says. I assume he is the owner of the castle and my boss.

We stand near the entrance. One man gives me a drink that seems to be red wine. The castle owner makes some derogatory comments about me and wants me to clean the area.

“I shall be taking my leave of you, sir,” I say formally. “I do not like you, and I do not like this place.”

The other man says I can still stay and seems very friendly. I wake at this point.

---

The last part is the typical meeting of my dream self with the preconscious and in this case, the interconsciousness as well. The preconscious avatar, whose task it is to wake me with dominance and annoyance in some cases, is my “boss.” The interconsciousness is often more cheerful and helpful.

It partly relates to marrying and being with Zsuzsanna instead of a classmate. There is too much to it to get into here. Zsuzsanna (before I met her in waking life) pushed Susan off a castle structure. That castle was in orbit around Earth.

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I'm in the world of Dark Souls. I'm outside, but still within a vast castle. I hear a youtuber/streamer Northernlion talking with his friends about continuing a DS series by doing some long challenge. His friends want him to do it, but Northernlion believes it would kill his channel. I see Nick playing the game and killing a monster to begin a hidden challenge of some kind.

I'm in the castle's dining hall. It's massive. The floor is wood paneling and one end of the hall is raised. The raised part is made of stone and has a smaller table, which I assume to be for the royal family. I have tray and I'm looking for food. I suddenly become lucid and all DCs disappear from the scene. I want to go somewhere else and close my eyes in an attempt to teleport. Nothing happens immediately and I fear trying too hard will cause me to lose the dream so I stop. I want a door. Dream takes me to a door in the corner of the dining hall. I tell the dream there will be a faraway planet on the other side. I'm barefoot and feel a cold breeze from the door. I open it and see space and stars. As I step in, the dining hall's wood paneling appears as the floor and parts of the castle's stone wall follow it. The walls are incomplete and there is no ceiling. I still see deep space outside, the castle is floating in space. I walk through the eerily silent and empty castle. Everything feels very real and I tell myself this is why I want more lucid dreams. I really focus on the details of the wood floor and distant starlight shining through the cracks in the wall. I walk past the dining hall, into a short staircase and notice a room full of people. Someone is giving a speech to a large audience. I walk in and ask one lady for sexual favors. I'll leave the details out, but it was rather disappointing. At least I didn't wake up immediately. But the dream comes to an end eventually.

Getting closer to that 100th LD. This spontaneous lucid dream did spark my motivation. Was a cool setting.

2017, 06-05

Healer in the Night

I am walking outside at night in a place I don’t recognize. I look around and see I am on a path near some trees. Something about the whole situation feels strange, and that leads me to do a reality check. I pinch my nose and find I can still breathe, so I know I’m dreaming. The first thing I do is try to fly and I succeed. I fly up over the land that is mostly dark except for what the moon illuminates. I also see the occasional light down below that looks like it comes from a fire. It is a bit chilly, but I ignore that. I keep flying and I feel like I could fly forever. I soon spot a structure that the moonlight reveals to be a castle. That looks like an interesting place to check out, so I fly straight towards it. I briefly think I might freak some people out if I show up flying, but I don’t really care so I keep going.

I fly in over the castle and then fly lower. I look down and there aren’t many people out because it is the middle of the night, but I do see some guards on patrol. None of them are bothering to look up, however. Then I am inexplicably drawn to one of the towers. I go with the flow and fly over near the tower. There is a window near the top that stands open. I fly to the window and I feel compelled to go inside. I silently land inside a bed chamber where I wait for my eyes to adjust to the dim light from a couple oil lamps. There is a boy in the bed apparently asleep. But somehow I know he is not asleep, he is unconscious, maybe in a coma, due to injuries. Injuries that the people in this realm may have no way to heal. I know I must heal the child. I take a quiet step towards the bed, but I stop when I find I’m being growled at. There is a large dog or a small wolf standing protectively over the child. I speak to the animal in a calming voice, using telepathy to try to convey the idea I am here only to help, I bring only healing. After a bit the animal calms down and just watches me as I approach the child.

I focus healing energy on the boy lying in the bed, focusing on the song Voices from the Macross Plus soundtrack for the healing task. Light energy forms all around the boy and then flows into him as the song plays softly in the room. It is a bit disconcerting when I hear strange cracking noises from under the covers, sounds that sound disturbingly like bones breaking… or setting properly perhaps so they can fully heal. I am thankful that the unconscious boy isn’t awake to feel any pain. As I am finishing up a man enters the room and does a double take. He demands to know who I am, and I realize he was supposed to guard the child. I tell him I’m a healer, and the child should awaken soon. And he is lucky that the boy’s dog is more on guard than he is. He says that is no dog, it is a direwolf. I say then the boy’s direwolf is a better protector. I figure if it is a direwolf then it must be still a cub. The guard again demands to know who I am, and I see the boy in the bed stir slightly. He is waking up. The direwolf cub goes over and starts licking the boy’s face. Everything fades to black as I wake up.

10/11/12 | Wooden Framework Assignment
I started at this school, and went to this construction room, where all of the students built additions to a small “castle,” as they called it. It was made of wood, so it kind of sucked. Some had their additions finished early. I was just putting together some framework. Other than that, I never had any clear instruction.

10/??/12 | Caravan Tornado
I dreamt I saw my very first tornado. It was very smooth and destroyed our caravan.

23:30 - 2:40

Dream 1 - Volcano

I'm in some MMO game. I see the map in my mind, it's truly massive. I'm running towards a lair inside a volcano. I'm with a friend who tells me about a special event starting inside the volcano. We are already late. We get into the lair. The boss there is dead and I see hundreds of players jumping around and moving towards one of the walls, waiting for a path to open. Lava is dripping from the ceiling of the cavern. Tiny droplets of lava falls like rain and seems to follow me. I try to outrun it, but I feel lava hitting my shoulders and back wherever I go.

The path opens and people start running. I can outrun most of the players. The scene is like a small dirt path through a forest. Suddenly some players have bikes. I still outrun them. Then the dream throws some railings, signs, rocks etc on the path to slow me down. It turns into a slow crawl. I hate it. When we finally get to the end, we see a church-like building. Old friend Tero is at the door, telling everyone going where to sit. I'm 62nd person to go in, according to him.

Dream 2 - Being Dead and Whatnot

I'm in a museum, third floor I think. It's night. I have to spend the night here. I remember there being a beds in one room. I have trouble finding it. A large woman is patrolling the building and finds me. She yells. I beg her to let me stay the night. I have nowhere to go, since I'm dead. As the words come out of my mouth, I stop and repeat it in disbelief. "I'm...dead." Can that be? I can't recall how it happened. I feel sorrow. The guard lady lets me stay and points me to the second floor. I find the room with beds and rest.

I wake up. It's 3am and my roommate is making late night snack and slamming doors. Uggggggggh...Well, this turns into a short WBTB thanks to him.

3:15 - 6:30

Dream 3 - Gift of the River God

I see a medieval world, reminding me of Game of Thrones. It's a cloudy day. A woman with long wavy blonde hair and shining armor approaches a dark river, I recognize her to be Pike from Vox Machina (D&D group). There's a small crooked tower built on the river. It's made of stone and looks like a big pile of skeletons. There's a large metallic ring hanging on the tower. There's a chain attached to it. The chain goes into the river, it's binding something. Pike climbs the tower and drops the ring and chain into the river. She jumps into the river afterwards. A massive, ugly woman rises from the bottom of the river and lifts Pike with her abnormally long and thin arm. The hag thanks Pike for freeing her and asks if she wants her gift. Pike nods and instantly her form starts changing. The hag disappears and Pike floats down to the surface of the river, effortlessly walking on top of it. Her armor becomes engulfed in purple flames and she becomes nearly invisible, like Shadowform from WoW. She summons a horse, which is also just a shadow with purple flames around it. With unnatural speed, she rides over the river towards a castle in the distance.

I'm a DO so I just fly up to get a better view. I see a small castle, a stone wall in front of it with a small gate and barren field around it. There's no grass or trees. The ground around the castle is completely dead. I see flashes of light next to the castle. There's a battle going on and some magic spells are visible from this distance. Dream skips a bit. Pike arrives to the castle and heads towards the fight. Her teammate is fighting a heavily armored man who hasn't taken any damage. He's nearly invincible. Pike walks towards him with determination, reaches behind her back and takes out her flaming greatsword. She holds the massive sword with her right hand. In the blink of an eye, she lifts the sword over her left shoulder and swings down at the armored guy. The force of the blow shatters the ground beneath him. He falls down, but isn't out yet.

I suddenly stand where Pike was. Oh no! I have to take this guy out? What do I have? I check my inventory. I have a large yellow amulet that looks sharp. Think I could stab him with that? I try, but it does nothing. Oh god. Pike's teammate is still there. The bad guy starts getting up. I decide to run. The bad guy follows. A big rock near the castle entrance catches my eye. There's a message on it "Murderer is _____" It's a long name I can't recall, but that's clearly a warning. I didn't want to see that. Now whoever that guy is wants me dead too. Speak of the devil, the murderer appears behind me. He's actually a three headed hydra looking monster. He jumps at me. I dodge and run through the gate, back towards the river. Grog, also from Vox Machina, the goliath barbarian shows up and instantly removes a two heads from the monster to save me. The monster is right next to me. I've never seen severed heads so close and in detail.

I sort of jump out of the GoT/D&D world. I'm sitting around a table with Travis Willingham, who plays Grog, and going through his dice and items. We are trying to figure out what items I could get from him so I could fight too. I only recall the name of one item "Blood Armor". I wasn't ready to fuse my body with a set of armor so I passed on that one. While organizing his dice, the dream transforms once more. Some lady comes by and asks if we are guests at the university. Travis has transformed into one of my WL friends and be both say we have been university students for years. She asks if we would like to foster a foreign kid together. We thought about doing it. After that we walk out of the building and talk about changing majors while walking through the city. I notice an old army friend on a poster. He's standing in a big bowl filled with water and limes. The limes spell out some bizarre word I can't recall anymore. Apparently I misread it too, according to my friend.

And I wake up. It's 6:30 am. What a dream. But not a lucid, so I try again.

7-8:33

Dream 4 - Ladies

-Another dream full of sex, so I won't write it fully. At one point I was in a house with a woman who was my wife, apparently. She made a pyramid with pillows. Parts of a photo was printed on each pillow, they formed a picture of her.

Ritual: WTB around 2am. Drank a lot of wine last night, so woke up many times to rehydrate. Just before dawn I felt the slightly anxious insomnia that often helps me get lucid, so I decided to confirm my intention with a little piracetam. For years I've been trying to come up with a good dream mantra/affirmation but never found one that stuck. Since I got lucid in a recent dream from seing the word "awaken" I decided to start with that. I wanted it to be longer and have good rhythm, so I tried "Awaken into (seeing) dream," where the word in parenthesis could be varied with any other two-syllable verb with the emphasis on the first syllable: seeing, hearing, feeling, being, dreaming, etc. I liked the versatility and hoped the variations would help keep my mind active. It seems this mantra was actually successful because it was still going through my mind well after the dream had started, although, curiously, the words had changed (see below).

WILD, "No Snow for Sledding": The transition was very smooth, and I think the mantra actually served as a good anchor this time. At one point I was inspired to see if I could move my dream limbs, and felt that familiar ambiguity about whether it was dream movement or real movement. I was 65% sure it was dream, so I kept at it until I gently 'flumpfed' in a loose heap right off the bottom of the bed, and then I knew for certain. This dream version of my bedroom was remarkably accurate to WL.

I was crawling at first, and from that low perspective had a good view of my two cats. They looked a little different—shorter hair I think—but I could still tell them apart. Dream logic made me wonder if I could somehow better communicate with my anxious cat in a dream. I crawled over to her and put my hands on her head, reaching toward her with gentle thoughts and telling her that she didn't need to be so anxious. It didn't work: she bit my hand! After that she went into the hallway where I was surprised to see our older cat chase her, an inversion of their usual relationship. I moved toward them and noticed a third animal, a remarkably lifelike grey squirrel—even more vividly rendered than the two cats. [Source: I had recently remarked to my husband how odd it was that I had never seen any squirrels near our house here, but he said that he had. Then just two days ago I glimpsed a grey squirrel outside.]

I thought I had better remove the squirrel from the house, so I picked it up by the scruff of the neck—it was so realistic I thought I had better handle it carefully lest I get bitten again. I peered down to it, wondering if it might have anything to say (this being a dream and all), but no, it just twitched its nose like a regular squirrel. So I opened the window on my side of the bed, the place where in WL I toss out the miscellaneous bugs that stray into the house, and tossed it out.

Around this point I noticed that my mantra was still going through my head, though slightly changed from what it had been as I fell asleep. It had taken the form: "Awaken, dreamer, I am dream." It occurred to me that once I was already lucid, the word "awaken" was no longer useful, and in fact might be detrimental. I thought about how the meaning of the word depended on its context: from non-lucid sleep one can "awaken" into lucidity, but from a state of lucidity, to "awaken" is to wake up. With the precarious thought of waking I felt the dream begin to destabilized, and hastily altered the mantra to: "Dream on, dreamer, I am dream." I managed to restabilize, and with the natural musicality of dream found myself adding a bit of melody to the words.

After this my thoughts turned to more practical ends. Wasn't there a task I wanted to do? Right, the sled ride. I thought over the details. I would need to sled down from the top of a snowy mountain and then through a crack in the earth into... who knows? Finding out would be the fun part. It was snowy outside, like it is in WL, so I thought that would make a good start. I just needed to go outside and find a sled and a mountain.

I opened the window again to fly out, but now there was a pane of what felt like transparent plastic covering the opening. I was annoyed because even in WL this is one of the few windows in the house that has no screen, so there should not be anything barring my passing. I decided to shatter the barrier with my mind, concentrated, and... nothing happened. Disappointed that I could not resolve this more stylishly, I manually peeled aside the flexible plastic panel and slipped out onto the lower roof. (This part was not quite accurate to WL: although there is a sloping side of another roof to the left, there is no level area just below the window where one could stand.)

I willed myself to fly, but nothing happened initially. I kept focusing until I began to float up and across the yard. There were a lot of random pavilions scattered below, and I reminded myself to be observant so I would remember the details later. I flew over to the roof of a small outbuilding—the environment no longer bore any resemblance to WL—where I found two sleds. One was child-sized, the other larger, and I noticed approvingly that they were the old fashioned kind on runners, much easier to control than round saucer sleds.

I picked up the larger sled and looked it over. The details were wonderfully vivid: it had a painted metal superstructure consisting of thin round bars painted white, and flat wide bars painted green. These encircled a small rectangular seat of heavily aged and distressed wood. I noticed an odd detail in the very center of the sled, a transparent glass sphere about four inches in diameter, half full of water. I peered closer, wondering if it was some sort of gyroscope, and saw words printed on the sphere: "FAST WATER." I decided that this was a device for boosting speed, and that I would name my new sled "Fastwater." I felt very pleased with it.

Sled in hand, next I needed a mountain. I resumed floating through the air and scanning for suitable topography. I soon found myself approaching a steep hillock, but since it was at most a couple dozen feet high, I didn't think it qualified as a "mountain." After that was a second, taller hillock, but I rejected that one too on the same grounds. Then in the distance I saw a much taller hill with a massive castle on top of it. I had the impression that it was a German castle called "Schwanzstein," though even in the dream I recalled the meaning of schwanz (which, in common with many Americans, I learned long ago from the Mel Brooks film Space Balls). That seemed like a peculiar yet somehow familiar name for a castle, and I wondered why it came to mind. [Source: German castles have come up in conversation twice in the last few days, both the one at Wernigerode and another whose name I couldn't remember. I just asked my husband and he reminded me it was "Neuschwanstein." So there you have it. Sorry Freudians, you can go back home now.]

I figured that the type of hill on which one was likely to find a German castle could qualify as a small mountain, and decided that this would be a good spot to sled down from. I floated closer, noting a number of stiff and oddly sepia-hued guards standing around the courtyards, as though peopling an old postcard. I noticed a perfect straight chute for sledding that ran down from the top of the mountain, so that's where I landed. Everything was in place... except... there was no snow anymore. Could I just sled down anyway, I wondered? No, I distinctly recalled that the task specified a snowy mountain. I peered around, hoping I could at least spot a few patches of snow and call it even. But the grass was as brown as the guards—there was a hint of sepia about the whole place, like a movie scene shot through a filter—and no snow was visible anywhere.

I sat down with my sled, willing it to snow. I concentrated my expectations, imagining how the first tiny flakes would move erratically through the air. Once again the distinction between imagination and experience—which seems so improbable in the dream state—was reconfirmed, because even though I could clearly see the type of snow I envisioned in my mind's eye, the dream air remained stubbornly free of flakes. This TOTM has a lot of moving parts, I thought. It's as hard as a TOTY! A moment later I woke up and was amused to recognize my error; in waking life I would not have misremembered the category of the task, since the TOTYs are linked by a common theme.

I'm on a road going through a snowy pine forest. The road is covered in frost. False memory claims that I'm on Saturn's moon. I doubt that. I feel further away and I can't see Saturn. I climb a hill and get off the road. There's a holy tree and two humanoid DCs there. The tree is white, big and has no leaves. Reminds me of Game of Thrones. Lucidity slowly creeps in. One of the DCs throws a special looking mortar and pestle in the air. It's their holy symbol and it can't touch the ground. The DC asks if I could help him. Maybe put the mortar and pestle in the orbit so it never falls. "Sure" I say and grab the items.

I jump up and fly to space without effort. I see the blue hue of the upper atmosphere and the darkness of space beyond it. I see the horizon starting to curve more and more as I rise. I try to guess what altitude is good for a stable orbit. "I'm probably a bit too high." I make my way down to a good level and start accelerating.

I reach my top speed pretty soon and I'm not happy with it. Underneath me I see a medieval countryside and spot the Norwegian Flag. Not the first thing I expected to see on an alien planet tbh. I relax my body and focus on more speed. I get a small boost and see a massive castle in the distance. It is so huge that I have to look up to see the top of the main towers. The walls disappear into the horizon. The whole thing is about one third of the planet's surface area.

My top speed is still too little. I extend my left arm in front of me and hold one finger up, stating "GEAR 1!" I raise another finger and state "GEAR 2!". I feel a significant speed boost. I'm getting closer to the castle wall. I keep counting up and accelerating, until I reach gear 9 and the castle walls block my path. I slow down and fly up. I appear to be at some kind of dam. I see three massive blue holograms on the wall next to the dam. Some sort of ads, it looks like. Alright. I think I'll fly back to the guy and say that it's not possible to put this item into orbit due to the castle. I wake up speeding up again.

YEAH! I had fun. Great to have a lucid dream like this, compared to the struggles I usually experience.

I was in a village of some sort. I went inside the ruins of a nearby castle. I think I exploded something by accident.

The residents "woke up." They're something like spirits but can manifest into physical matter. They have different abilities and talents. They're definitely human-like. The rest are starting to get hazy, but one in particular looks like a count. He's calmer than the rest but I could also feel his power. I think I had an ability to "pause" or push them away but the count is largely unaffected. Instead, he proceeded with a calm and confident presence towards me. They were also kind of floating which made them seem like ghost, but not exactly.

It took a while for me to get familiar with their presence. They became a part of me, sort of. Not possession. Kinda parasitic except they don't get anything from me; they were simply attached to me because I woke them up. They're capable of independent actions and have their own sets of skills and their own personalities.

A lot of things happened but I forgot most of it when I woke up. What I do remember is me comparing them to "functions" and parallel programming.

Nights 5 and 6 earned me zero points. No dream recall; no anything.

On one of these days (can't remember which), I experienced a very short WILD during a nap. It lasted about 3 minutes. During the dream, I tried to achieve my second competition goal of figure drawing (practicing a real life skill). While I was able to make a sketchbook appear, it was harder to make a model show up, and I tried to start sketching but I think I woke myself up. At any rate. I'm not going to count it this time, because I know that I can do better than that. I don't think it quite counts since I didn't really finish practicing the skill, like I didn't even finish a gesture drawing or anything.

Night 7:
Non-Lucid Dream Fragment 1: This was from my hypnagogic imagery. It's always hard for me to wake up during those and write them down, because my body is in the process of falling asleep and doesn't want to stop! However, in this one, I was walking to a castle, with Tess.

Non-Lucid Dream Fragment 2: I was visiting an aquarium at a college. I believe it was either a) one I had previously visited IRL, or b) one that I thought I had visited IRL in the dream, but hadn't actually done so. There was a whale, and I can't read the rest of my notes. -_-

Non-Lucid Fragment 3: I was at a different version of my grandma's house, and a former uncle of mine was there. He either farted or fainted -- it's hard to read my handwriting dang it xD I think it was actually farted. And he was putting away some stuff in storage. The dream faded to a store/shop of some sort.

Night 8:
Non-Lucid Dream Fragment 4: There was a Pokemon, a spider and something else that I wanted but that also creeped me out. Someone or something got lured into a corner.

Non-Lucid Dream Fragment 5: Theme park, roller coaster, talking with others at the stheme park.

Non-Lucid Dream Fragment 6: I was making love to an older (middle-aged?) woman. She was very pretty, and it was all in all a very pleasant experience, but I remember wishing that she could somehow be Tess, my tulpa, so I wouldn't feel so guilty about what I was doing.

Non-Lucid Dream Fragment 7: This one may gross you out. Just a fair warning haha. I fell in love with a lizard that was sticky and slimy. I need to stop spending so much time on DeviantART. It is dirtying up my subconscious mind. xD

Non-Lucid Dream Fragment 8: A group of shiny people were running away from something. Metallic shiny, I think? But I was "pinned down and safe." Nope, no idea what that meant. It made sense to me at the time of writing, obviously. Again, too much time on DeviantART. \o/

Night 8:

Non-Lucid Full Dream: I was still a missionary (did it a few years back). It was our day off, and I was on the computer...watching a live dog??? Ah, I still can't read that line! Another missionary was online chatting (face to face!) with Adam Young from Owl City, and I started chatting too! Adam looked a lot younger, though, and he had a security guard with him. For whatever reason, he was in a rush, so he couldn't chat for long. But he was also very kind, as I'd expect him to be.

Night 9: Got nothing. I could've at least written down some hypnagogic stuff, but I was too exhausted. It's been a difficult start to the new semester, and I haven't been sleeping enough.

Total: 1 WILD, 8 non-lucid fragments, 1 full non-lucid.

So I'm reading Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming by Stephen LaBerge, Ph.D. and Howard Rheingold, and now my interest in lucid dreaming is somewhat renewed. The issue is that currently (and for a long time) I've been lacking awareness of my surroundings in some odd sense that makes it very hard to notice when I'm lucid, even though my dreams are generally completely unrealistic and, on top of that, have a constant "dreamlike" feel. This means that if I happen to wonder if I'm dreaming, just that is enough for me to go "Oh yes, duh, of course I am," and start doing lucid things... but it's rare for me to have enough awareness even for that.

I was thinking that my dreamsigns could be things like "a change in context," since that happens almost every time in my dreams, but on the other hand I think my mind simply accepts changes in context without thinking about them at all, and maybe I should pick something a bit more specific that I tend to notice more, such as my dead grandmother, having fully recovered from dementia, making an appearance.

Dream: Castle Shenanigans

So at first it was me, my dad, and my sister, all exploring some sort of enormous castle. And I was trying to get away from my dad (because I hate even being in the same room as him), which turned into me sprinting through the castle at night, down long hallways and up stairs, hoping to eventually lose him. But I don't think I ever did. I distinctly remember turning a corner and sprinting down a long hallway, trying to put the full length of the enormous castle between us, and trying to make it to the end and turn the corner before he could see me. I failed.

A bit later in the dream, I was exploring the castle with him (and it was daytime). It had the feel of him showing me a university that he wanted me to attend, and trying to point out to me what a cool place it was. We visited the castle library (complete with studying students), which had stacks of books against one wall, comprising about three levels of balconies that overlooked the main study space, and with an elevator that somewhat dwarfed its surroundings. I think it may have been for wheelchair accessibility. I think I explored the stacks a bit.

Then the dream changed. Still castle-themed, but now it had the feel of a movie. There was some sort of plucky main character (me) who wanted to get into the castle and join the ranks of the powerful servants of the king, but his approach was to climb in through one of the upper-level windows and try to avoid the wrath of the servants until he'd proved himself enough to be accepted. Or something like that.

Before that, there was a segment where a similarly plucky group was trying not to get killed by lackey-type knights in red who were hunting them with all the personality of machines. One of their solutions was to escape to a church, where, surely, the knights would not be able to perform violent acts. However, upon arrival in the church, they found the pews draped with the bloodstained bodies of several lackey-type knights in white, and through the window spotted the knights in red marching towards the church entrance. So, we all ran down the stairs to the basement, guided by one of us who knew this particular secret, and then crawled through a rather tight, upwards-sloping tunnel in the wall that made an uncomfortable right turn. I hated crawling through this thing because it was such a tight fit, but we made it, and on the other side was a better, safer church. And for whatever reason, my dream repeated this same scenario another few times.

Then, back to the story of the person (lizard?) trying to join the ranks of the castle servants. This time, he was exploring a tower placed just outside the castle, which he hoped to use to jump through into the castle through a window. And this is where things get confusing, because the dream just kind of made up concepts and they made sense to me at the time, and now that I'm awake I'm not sure what was going on. First of all, the main character was a sort of humanoid lizard. And the servants were also animal-themed, I believe, and quite powerful. The lizardman (me) met some of them in the tower and might have been captured by them? And then they might have started putting him through the various tasks that one must pass in order to be one of the castle servants. I'M NOT SURE. IT'S ALL SO HARD TO EXPLAIN. WHATEVER.

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None of this gave my brain any kind of pause or made me think, "Hey now, all this is sort of unrealistic." And I know this is normal for dreams, but if I were to just have that thought for even a moment, I would realize that I was dreaming.

Instead it feels like my brain locks into some kind of "tell me a story" mode and rolls with whatever the dream does. It kind of has an automatic feel to it. Also, my dreams haven't been that vivid lately. Or it feels like even if they were vivid, I wouldn't be aware enough to notice. Uuuuugghhhhh.

I dreamed that I was playing a Harry Potter video game. I control a party of characters, though excluding Harry everyone else wasn't a canon character. We stumble into a Death Eater in an underground dungeon who was forging something and can apparently deink and heal himself with molten metal. Approaching him result in a cutscene where he grabbed Harry and stuffed him into some cramped opening in the wall behind him, and everyone was magically required to answer his riddles or Harry would die. After we answered his riddles, the spell was broken and he lost his bargaining chip. He joked about it being a good time fro a Death Eater to panic before trying to attack us, but as he himself had expected we killed him quickly.

We then walked around with a Dark Souls-like perspective in what appeared to be a mix between a castle, a fine dining restaurant, a temple, a tower, and a convention center. I have some difficulty describing it, yes. I think the best way to say it is that you just have to imagine the Floating Garden of Babylon, except that there were no plants, and the ceilings are extremely high. It was very beautiful but minimalistic, our sightseeing a bit marred by people screaming and running away from the Death Eater's blood on our shoes, so we sought a fountain to clean the blood off.

My dream transitioned to me in a Team Fortress 2 match, except that it looked like real life. I was presumably the Pyro and the framing narrative was that I was in a VR, hence why I don't feel liek I'm in an asbestos suit or wearing a gas mask or holding a flamethrower. I have infiltrated the back lines of the map, and there was nobody around. I was going to go back to the front line to ambush the enemies but there were news reporters being filmed. The map looked like Upward, but the bit after the second spawn was replaced with the gate from Hollywood in Overwatch. The reporters didn't seem alarmed on seeing me. I try to edge my way past them without getting in the shot because I thought that'd be rude.

First dream

I was in my bathroom, it was a dark evening. Lights were turned on and doors closed - I sheltered in bathroom so zombies wouldn't get me. I heard them rampaging around my house, destroying everything. They weren't coming closer to bathroom, they were avoiding it entirely. I thrown some paper through a window, and realized that someone could be hiding in another rooms. Then I realized that it's a dream and received lucidity. I phased through wall and and got outside - it turned into a warm summer day. There was a group of people sitting on benches around stage, where one man was talking. The man was bald, and he was wearing a light brown sweater and jeans trousers. He said "Now I know you all almighty douchebags are all lucid dreaming addicts..." I haven't listened more and just phased back into building and found someone alive in one of rooms. It was a blonde woman, about my height and weight. She was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans trousers, she had really long hair. I took her hand and we phased through walls into a safe room in the house. As we entered it, the building changed and it was a really tight storage with wooden walls. We were standing close to each other. Really close, as it was a tight room. We kissed for a while, I found out that I can just control level of pleasure received with my thoughts, and pushed it until everything went black.

Second dream

With sisters we were in some ruined city swarming with zombies. We had our weapons ready. We were running through a destroyed flat, shooting down every zombie. Then suddenly we found ourselves in living room, in front of tv. We were inside a movie, and now we were back in our house. We ate some sweets and then I wanted to go to toilet. I walked through doorway and got teleported to some platform. I became lucid and vividness of the dream increased. I looked at the platform I was on - it was constructed from rock blocks made out of light brown stone and chiseled atop to mimic tiles. The platform consisted of six rows of them going horizontally. On both sides there were fences made of gray stone, curved inwards. Looking forward I saw just blue sky with some clouds floating gently. I moved forward and saw a huge, beautiful and monumental castle going out of the mist. I was there in some previous lucid dreams. This time the castle had a huge tower, and was much bigger in size and much more beautiful. When the whole mist dispersed, I could see the building in it's entirety and it's whole beauty - my jaw literally hit the ground as I started at it in awe.

The only way inside was to fly, as the castle was floating on the skies. I felt a strong draw towards the tower. I felt that it must and has someone important waiting for me. I felt that my goal was to reach the tower and meet with that person. I started flying above such platforms like one described before, just much shorter. There were also frames made of dark brown bricks, through which I flied in order to reach castle. Then I flied into a barrier that made me see only dried lava - layers of basalt and obsidian. Controlling speed and height of flying with thoughts, I managed to break through the barrier and was almost in the castle. Then I heard an alarm clock, with my thoughts I shouted "Shit, alarm clock!" And it echoed in my mind until everything went black and I woke up.

D1 - In a changing room I am trying to move about using a special location language. There are plastic wedge shape triangular cross hairs positioned around the room. I cant figure it out its in some unkown language.
Then really freaky woman with long hair come in, although they are looking downwards with their hair falling over their faces, so could be other life form.
They move slowly into room, they detect the movement thingies and use them to follow me Oo.
I make it from bench to bench to the top of a cupboard.

D2- There are lots of people? with heads that are mostly covered in blue flames , distorting their features. I watch mezmorised as they move like one entity. I find I cant move and wake myself up.

WBTB - I decided to find out what the woman in dream one were doing
not going back to dream two Oo just now

D3- I enter the changing rooms again. The woman (they are now) are sitting talking on a bench. They are using a language unknown to me.
It is a language of power and they are from influential families. The one with long shiny lush black hair is strongest.
I try taking their powers away by removing their language from them.
They dont know whos doing it and I get away with it.

D3.5 Long dream wandering around inside of white castle. I am escaping something that I manage to trap behind some boxes also I manage to get all the weapons.

D4- Am in a shop that people are using as a changing room to the annoyance of the owner. They are chucked out but more come in. A guy is plugging in his laptop and then hanging washing on the outstretched extension lead lol.
We leave and find a load of taxis, sue is hailing one then changes her mind.
Then she tries to get in the same taxi as the people who were changing clothes They are confused, so am I and my daughter.

A Japanese "castle" that I explored with a group of others?

Sailboating somewhere (not me driving) off the coast. The weather looked like it was getting pretty bad when we left (dark clouds approaching, already pretty high waves), so I wondered if this was really a good idea.

I was with some kid in the desert, next to a large structure. We wanted to leave. I started climbing a sandy hill, but the sand was deep and hard to move through. The hill suddenly turned extremely steep (90°), so it was impossible. A kid (possibly accompanied by another) appeared on top, seething with anger. He was mad at the kid who was with me, I think. I asked him why he was so angry. He replied that he had shown a potential customer the apartment, and that customer didn't want to rent it. Or something like it. He was in our way, and I didn't want to be trapped in there forever (it was the only way out), soI walked up to the wall of sand and kicked it. The sand collapsed, and the kid on top fell down with it. He immediately attacked me, possibly wielding some kind of stick or bat. I kept fighting, until I realized I must have been 15 years older than this kid and could easily overpower him. With some help of the other kid (he was possibly inspired by "Piggy" from Lord of the Flies, I watched the 1990 film yesterday and am still reading the book) I got him on the ground. He was swearing, but I grabbed his throat with both hands, and in the heat of the moment felt the desire to kill him. I squeezed hard, he went red and coughed a bit. I leaned closer, bit into his neck and savagely ripped out a chunk of flesh. Last thing I remember is me saying "Die, you little shit!". Then I woke up.