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#129 There Is No Wall WILD

I am deep into HI/HH. For some reason I remember how CanisLucidus likes to sleep on his stomach. "I hear him say have you ever tried it on your stomach?" My dream self rolls over halfway on my stomach. I can feel the blanket over my face and I begin to feel strange whirling spinning sensations. I was amazed how much better a WILD attempt this was. I focus on the sensations for a few seconds. (I didn't notice until later that I felt zero vibrations like I usually do. I am actually glad that this didn't throw me. Never give too much attention to the noise. Passively monitor it.)

Then I feel my wife in bed poking my ribs and telling me to wake up. I try to ignore her. But she keeps doing it. I say to her, "Stop it pleeeease! I am trying to have a lucid dream and you are waking me up."

I never open my eyes but I roll over to my back. She is still moving the bed around and saying to wake up. I realize this probably not really happening. I tell myself over and over that she is not real. I decide that I just need to get out of here. I can still feel a slight grip from the sleep paralysis making me move slow and awkward. But I manage to stand up without too much trouble.

It's dark in the room but I manage to see my hands clearly. I open the bedroom door and find myself in a long hallway. The dream is still blurry and insubstantial but I realize this is not my house. Something reminds me of my ex in-law's house. I begin to believe that's were I am. The dream comes together now and that exactly where I am. I make it to the living room and pause for a second. I think, "If this is their house then which wife is in the bed? Past or present?" I decide that I really don't want to know or want to be here so I continue out the front door.

It is really dark outside. I think the only way out of here is to just fly away. I see the sun coming up the west. I find that slightly funny as I start to fly up. Then, I get lost in the void and feel the dream breaking up. I decide to just go back to the ground and stay inside. For some reason the dream wants me here.

I go back inside and visually stabilize myself. I wonder around the living feeling slightly triumphant. I think, "Haha bitches I'm in your house and your not even here!" I explore the house some and realize there is very little clutter or furniture. Every thing looks spacious and organized. I see a small white wooden door with no knob in a random spot on the wall. I use expectation to make it open to some place else. Nope. It's a small closet with a water heater.

I walk around the wall into the kitchen and then back into the living room. I see a clear spot on the wall separating the living room and kitchen. I think maybe I can draw a doorway with my fingers to get out of here. I make a motion with both fingers at the top but realize my hands phased into it. HA phasing! I think about reaching past the wall into the space beyond. My hands pass through fine so I thrust myself into it. My arms get softly stuck at the elbows. I pull back and stare at the wall. I say, "There is no wall. There is no wall." I really focus on believing it. I think about the space beyond the wall again as I jump forward. I feel a slight sensation like a cool mist of water pass over me. I feel grounded on the other side but all I can see is the color of the wall. I think about the other side and what it should look like. The dream stabilizes.

I look around the kitchen/dining room and see the back door. I really want out of this house! I have TOTY on my mind and want to move on. I can see the door is open but the screen is closed. I can see outside and it is total darkness. I feel really confident from phasing and decide to take a risk. Without thinking things through I rush forward flying head first into the door and throwing it off its hinges into the darkness. I say,"This leads to another planet!" (why?)

I am now engulfed in the void. I feel spinning sensations. I relax myself like in any other DEILD and try to focus on seeing something. I think about the Colosseum a bit while I wait. After a while I wake up.

...but I didn't write it down. Shame on me. I vaguely recall that it felt like I was repeating a previous dream. In the lucid dream, I was explaining to a DC that I had had this dream before and I knew what would happen next. That went on for a while. Then I took control, changed the scene and had some dream sex. It felt like at least 45 minutes total. When the dream finally ended, I was left in SP for several minutes. It wasn't uncomfortable. It felt interesting.

1/13/13

WILD into DEILD chain (6-8)

***note to self: work more on tactile sensations when developing scene from WILD.

This is the 3rd night in a row of a WILD. I have not smoked or drank for about a week and a half. Every night I have been getting up around 5 (not intentionally) and been unable to fall back asleep for an hour or so. I can feel a moment of deep focus right before the transition sensations kick in. I have about a 5 to 10 second heads-up to stay aware. I can't describe it but I guess I have done enough WILDs where I can tell my body is about to fall asleep. Also, for the 3rd consecutive night the transition was the new adrenaline-lightness instead of vibrations.

This occurred at the embassy suites where I was sleeping IRL. I wasn't able to record this for awhile, also I had a very distracting and emotional morning so my recall is down to about 0. I remember recalling around 8 DEILDs, most of which fell victim to the darkness. I am working on trying to develop scenes once I feel the transition instead of opening my dream eyes and starting in my bed. Here are the 3 snippets I remember.

I remember that my previous few DEILDS failed because I started in the dark room. I tried to visualize a scene with a tree. I could start to see the outline in the darkness. I began to hear voices and they are having a conversation with each other. I believe I started to get visuals, but I was never "in" the dream, just observing some interaction.

DEILD

I am looking to get out of the dark room. I go over to the window and it is daytime outside. I jump down a few floors to the ground. It looks like fall. I walk around and I eventually find 2 guys who look to be early 30's. They are homeless and living out of a box. I cant recall the rest

DEILD

I go out the front door of the room. There is large arena with some people scattered about. It is indoors. I see a little Iron Giant figurine standing alone on the ground. It is about 3 ft. tall. I want to become it so I put it in front of my face and try to look through its eyes. Eventually I morph through it so I am seeing as it does, but I stay my normal size and physical appearance. I then just pretend to be a robot and pick up and throw some things.

Thousands and thousands of clapping hands were heard on this very big, plain field filled with people. All whose faces looked excited to see the one face that popped in to the field. Me. Every single person on this field was applauding as I was riding on a carriage. It was beautiful! I didn't know whether to believe it or not, so I just accepted the fact that it was all for me!

As someone was riding the carriage for me, I was staring at all the people in the crowd and only thought of how unbelievable it felt to have so many people clap for you.

The carriage was almost on its way to the other side of the field. This was the last chance I was able to say anything to the crowd. I didn't say anything, instead I raised my right hand and made a peace sign gesture which made the crowd raise their scream even louder! It was truly amazing!

After my few minutes of fame past, things got worse. I was on a journey, with some of my other classmates from high school, to go through the woods and find the point for going in it in the first place. I walked in to the woods but found it all to be a challenge, seeing how I was in bare feet. My other classmates went on without me. That's when another problem occurred. My right foot had something on its bottom. I picked it up to see what it was and found out there was a piece of wood stuck to it. My foot was bleeding. I tried to take off this piece off wood at first but it only bled more. I could remember the way it felt taking the piece out! I was grossed out.

There was only thing I could do in a situation like this. I had to go and find a teacher on the other side of this area I was in. I did and I did so quickly. I hopped on my left foot and quickly hopped my way over to the teacher's area. On the way, I shown my cut to a few kids and they were even grossed out.

Once I made it to the teacher's area, I tried to find a teacher someone on the street. This area also looked a lot like the area next to the abandoned theater near the location I live in the waking world. There was no sign of teachers, so I walked in to a home and found things to have change a lot!

I walked in to a home and suddenly felt like it was now a Minecraft experience! I was in small room filled with chests. One of them was an Ender chest. I walked up to one of my chests and only saw a few non Minecraft items in there. That's when I decided to go in to the wild and explore.

I did so and found something interesting on the way. The wild I just walked in to looked a lot like a dream I had before, a dream where most of it took place next to a really huge ocean. I didn't like it at the start. I walked in to a big section of 1x1 towers , flew to the top of one and found a player hiding somewhere in the bottom. His server name was 98Brando, the one who always assumes he's better than everyone else. I jumped on to the ground in front of him and we were now standing on a border between danger zone and safe zone. It's obvious what happened here. I jumped away from the safe zone and jumped in to the danger zone to attack him. I done this repeatedly until he died and I took his armor and items. After he died, I picked up his armor and he had all Protection 4 armor as well as really good weapons and items.

Then I woke up for a short while.

Woke up around 3am, popped a 5-HTP, B-6, and one Choline bitartrate. Did this because my dream recall has been lacking for the past 7 days. Back in bed I started a WILD, focusing on my breath and a vision of a star, which immediately came to me. I started to see the dream I wanted to re-enter, and allowed drifting thoughts to come and go while I came back to this vision. A tunnel-vision grew stronger and before long I popped into the dream state with awareness.

I drifted across a grassy field toward a town, then proceeded to scan the town when I realized it was familiar from a past dream. It was night as is often the case in my dreams. I saw a familiar area of town with some nightlife, and went past this toward a hotel that caught my attention. It was a small hotel, like something you'd see in the streets of Paris, and two gentleman were working the desk. I remembered one of my goals was to ask the question "Where are we?" to one of the dream characters, so I did, unfortunately I don't remember the answer. I went upstairs to my room where two maids were cleaning, one vacuuming and the other picking up the carpet.

That's about all I remember.

Transition was weird. My arms were tingling the whole time, and kept tingling throughout the dream. It was pitch black in my room, but my vision lit things up like a LED flash light. I tried covering my eyes, and my head to see if that made a difference, but it didn't. I don't know where the light source was coming from other than my head...maybe my eyes...I'm still not sure. I headed to the living room, and woke up. Arms were still tingling. It couldn't have been because of the way I was sleeping because that's my usual position.

I get out of bed....everything is black as night. Okay, maybe it'll get better.....no, I'm back in reality.

Lets try this again. I head to the living room, and I think about finding Kaomea, and I see her right at the door step, and the door is open. When I get to the door, she's not there....and I get this weird super creepy feeling...like something just scared the shit out of me. Everything turned to blackness as a soon as I stepped out of my house....wtf

Okay, here we go. I'm at some club, the lights are flashing like that last lucid I had where I was looking for Kaomea in the club. I run across a couple of people I know...flirting ensues, and I move on. There this one girl who has her hair stuck in one of the buttons on my shirt. I take it off, and restructure her hair to make it look longer fuller and better. A piece falls out while she was dancing, but oh well.

I started looking for HER....I came up to a blonde girl, but she had black bangs, and everything else was blonde. I asked her if she's ever seen me in any other dreams, and she said yes. Someone else tapped me on the shoulder, and I ignored her (probably was the real HER) and then I asked her for her name. She said it was Shyree. Then I woke the fuck up.


Had some other dream where I had this carton of eggs that could move like a pull back race car.....WTF.

This was the third of my LDs from early Christmas morning. This WILD was rather nightmarish, but in the end pretty amazing. Hands down, the most hostile DCs that I've encountered.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #50: The Gauntlet of Greed

The WILD drops me into a wood-paneled room. There's a door in front of me, and behind me is a frosted glass window through which sunlight illuminates the room. In the middle of the room is a huge, square pile of $100 bills. It has to be, at minimum, something like $30 million. Probably more.

Someone starts shouting and hammering on the door. I feel grasping and suspicious that it's someone who is after my money. They slip a note under the door that simply reads, "You're broke, bitch." I should find this funny, but instead I feel insulted, entitled and petty. Not in my LD, not when I'm sitting on this much cash. There's a chorus of angry voices outside of the door now and fists and feet are slamming into the door. It's about to rattle off the hinges.

I throw the door open and I'm stunned to see a broad hallway filled with literally hundreds of hostile dream characters. The enraged mob (all male) is armed to the teeth, aggressive and bristling with guns. Somebody punches me in the face just as a mobster aims a lupara-style sawed-off shotgun at me. The crowd howls, and I see AKs, handguns, machine pistols, and every other manner of gun pointing my way.

They open fire and I feel a spray of bullets trace across my body. Buckshot rakes the left side of my face. Everything is chaos as stray bullets rip into DCs, who fall to the floor and are trampled by the others as they run toward me. I know that nothing can hurt me but I'm still gripped with aggression, fear and nervous energy. A man in a trench coat is unlucky to get close and I punch him as hard as I can. He goes flying, crashes into the wall, and lies still.

The chaos is getting to be too much for me and I feel lucidity slipping. I hate that I'm fighting and the madness of the whole situation dawns on me. Am I even sure that this is my money? Do I really want to go to war with some unknown element of my subconscious over this worthless pile of dream cash? I decide to just walk forward, leave the money behind, and separate myself from the riot going on all around me.

DCs continue to run past, firing at me and occasionally striking me with fists and feet, but as more and more of them run into the room behind me, the hallway ahead clears out. I hear some kind of frantic melee going on in the money room but I ignore it. The few remaining DCs that run past now ignore me and as I continue forward through the hall, I soon find myself alone. I feel calm again, and the thought of the Pyramid refocuses me on my goals.

I pass a large window on my right that gives me a view into a busy newsroom. Reporters run excitedly from desk to desk but I don't investigate further. The exit is up ahead, and I find that it is the same set of automatic doors from the last dream. I again imagine that the Great Pyramid lies just beyond the door, but this time the dream fades just as I approach the doors.

This was the second of my galantamine dreams from last night. The beginning and middle were fun. The end? Not too good.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #47: Lost in America

The wind is loud outside but the noise suddenly settles into a murmur. I know that I'm close to a WILD, and soon... I'm in a light rail station, holding hands with my son E. The floor is red brick and the sky above us is clear. Tall buildings surround us on all sides. I don't recognize the buildings, but for some reason I believe that this is New York.

I tell E, "Well, buddy, we're in New York. This is... well, this isn't real, but it's a train station." He hops around, pointing gleefully at the train. I walk with him to the opposite end of the station.

The train starts to move, and E suddenly breaks away from my grip and runs toward it! I'm panicked at the site of him running carelessly toward that train and I run after him. He stops short of actual danger and I grab onto his hand, making sure I've got a good grip this time. "E, you can't do things like that! If you're going to run off, we can't be here."

I take him with me out to a parking lot and our family car is waiting there. There's a small memory gap here, but I'm pretty sure that the car didn't have child seats, but I just ignored this. We're driving in the neighborhood where I grew up. E is there at first but after a few blocks I look back and he's gone.

I pass a set of kids that look like they're fighting. I can't tell what's going on but it looks like someone might be taking a beating. I jump out of the car, forgetting that it's still moving. To my dismay, the car keeps going, turns the corner by itself and drives out of sight. The kids disperse, and nobody seems upset anymore. There's another memory gap before I find myself being shown a house by a real estate agent who looks kind of like CSI's Marg Helgenberger. She calls herself "Madge" and the house has a beautiful, open interior. I'm impressed with the place and wonder if it's similar to any other houses I've seen IWL.

When she takes me into the back of the house, though, things take a horrible turn. The rooms in the back are dark and smoky with makeshift drapes blocking out the sunlight. Drug addicts are passed out all around the place, laying on beds, floors and furniture. Some of them twitch occasionally and I see one man whose leg is streaked with blood. Madge seems mildly embarrassed and says, "It does need a little fixing up."

When we get to the bathroom, I see a clearly dead man lying in the tub. I panic, probably lose lucidity, and run back down the hall. Madge is running too, but the hallways have all changed. I can't find my way back to the sane part of the house and my panic collapses the dream.

WILD 1

I started looking for my dream guide as I had been given this task the night before and just before attempting to WILD had instead, fallen asleep. :L Anyway, I heard someone trying to talk to me so I turned around and saw a blonde woman, her appearance quickly morphing to that of a very tall man. I believed this was just another dream character so I turned around and walked away. Upon my walk I came across a man floating cross-legged in mid-air. He had an omniscient and omnipotent (all-knowing and all-powerful) feel about his aura and had short dark hair, skin that was neither pale nor tanned, a lithe build and noticeable, but not any bigger than regular muscles. We started to talk (say hello) but when I’d laughed in my dream before I’d managed to jerk my body awake and it was fighting to move so I jerked awake and lost the dream.

WILD 2

About 10 minutes later I attempted to re-enter the dream. I searched for the man again and as I knew what he looked like I found him easily. At first I asked him a question I can’t remember (thinking back it may have been how he was). After this I then asked him what I should do. This question refers to my current mind dilemma of not knowing what I want to do when I leave school as I have many options and I’m not really sure what I want to do (I want to be a doctor but I don’t feel smart enough) and I've read alot about dreams being used to solve problems irl. He told me “In the end, it’s your choice and your choice alone. Do what you want to, and what you can, do. However, (long pause) if you want my opinion, I think you should continue with your current goal.” I thanked him, ran out of things to say as my brain wasn’t working and, biding him a good day, walked off to leave him to what he was doing before I got there. I found my boyfriend and just chilled with him for a while until the dream ended.

I got extremely bored in my Philosophy exam and was the result.

WILD 1

I was in a dark room, remembering my past experiences I picked up a nearby black phone and phoned my boyfriend. I then found myself in a snowy wood with him, we started talking and I decided I had nothing to lose so I told him he was dreaming. We started to run down this little path before skidding to a halt. I asked if I could teleport him to the Falklands and he said yes so we arrived in the park at night. There were loads of beautiful stars visible in the sky so we climbed up to the top of the square rope climbing frame and lay on the top, watching the stars before I started to reminisce about the time I’d spent here, I knew I had to finish the dream before I lost it so I kissed him goodbye and left. The dream ended.

WILD 2

I was stood in a dark and creepy forest, a wand in my left hand. I threw it over to my right as I am right handed and heard a movement in the trees and somehow I knew it was death eaters so I started firing random spell at the trees. Then someone who looks like my boyfriend ran out of the woods yelling “Ginny!” As soon as he saw me he grabbed my shoulders, colliding with me as he stopped and his face split into a grin. “Rose! Thank Merlin you’re safe!” At this point I realized this person was Scorpius Malfoy and we had a conversation. We eventually agreed that I could fight with him and as we started to run through the trees the bell rang and I was jerked awake, losing the dream.

The second of two WILDs that I experienced last night on galantamine. This dream was much longer than it sounds, since I was in the mood to watch, go slowly, and take in the scenery. Once again I asked a question of my subconscious, and the "answer" struck me as much more ambiguous this time.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #42: The War of the Wolves

The WILD drops me at a dinner party in a fancy house. All of the DCs here are in cocktail dresses and tuxedos. All are strangers.

I walk out into the night past a stone patio, looking up to admire the dome of stars above me tonight. Just past the patio is a sort of desert garden. It's a huge, man-made sandpit where well-tended cacti and yucca plants grow among carefully arranged boulders and signs that indicate the name of each species of plant.

I decide to ask my subconscious a question. "Should I ever try galantamine again?" I shout. There's no vocal reply, but a large, gray wolf creeps from around one of the boulders. He looks at me, saying nothing, but slowly baring his teeth.

My two Siberian Husky dogs (IWL pets) emerge from behind a boulder of their own, and charge at the wolf! They're much smaller than the wolf, but they unhesitatingly go after him. K (the female) lunges for his neck, but the wolf swivels his hind end around and parries her to the side. The wolf swats B (the male) in the face before pouncing on him and bringing him to the ground.

The fight is ugly and one-sided, but (fortunately) completely bloodless. My two dogs run off further into the desert and the wolf approaches me. I'm afraid of him, but try not to dwell on it. I extend my hand toward him, palm forward, as if to say, "Stop." He seems to sense that this is more a plea than a command, and he lunges at me, biting down hard on my hand! For a moment, the pain is alarmingly vivid, but I do my best to ignore it.

After a moment, the pain subsides and the wolf lets up his pressure. Silently, he turns and walks off into the desert. I walk further along, the coolness of the desert air quickly calming me. Eventually I happen upon a dark sea. By now I feel totally at peace. I stand on the shore and watch the waves for a while until the dream ends.

The first of two WILDs that I experienced last night on my first-ever trial with galantamine. Both of these dreams were very vivid and stable but had a much more somber, vulnerable feel than my usual LDs. Confidence was far, far below normal levels, which gave this dream a very different shape than most for me.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #41: This Mortal Life

I'm in a high-rise condo, looking out over a nighttime cityscape. I float to the window but it feels like it takes much more effort than usual. The beauty of the city below captivates me, though, and I spend a long while watching the headlights of the cars below as they travel the grid of city streets.

Outside of the condo is a bank lobby. All manner of friends and family from my waking life are wandering about conducting their business. I talk at length with different people I've lost touch with, asking them about what direction life has taken them. As I talk to each of them, they gradually grow old and tired, sitting down in chairs along the walls of the room. Once seated, the old version of the person looks away from me and lapses into silence.

The adjacent room is a grand ballroom where a group of perhaps two dozen strangers is having a cocktail party. The level of detail on these DCs is unnecessarily high, bordering on ridiculous. Shoulder blades shifting gently under the skin, moles, those subtle wrinkles that you don't notice in waking life.

I want to move on to a new location, and I think of the "Trinity" atomic detonation Task of the Year. I planned to portal, so I try to produce a portal gun with an over-the-shoulder grab I've used time and again to produce items. But I see my hyper-detailed shadow on the floor, and it's got nothing on its back. Sure enough, my hand comes back empty. I try this over and over, but after enough tries I have to give in. I try phasing through a pane of glass, but it's as solid as waking life. I try floating, but now I seem rooted to the ground. Even though I know that all of this is my dream, I just can't muster the confidence and belief necessary to put this into action. I feel like just another DC in my own dream.

Outside of the ballroom I spot Wife walking with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law. I join them, and she tells me that they're heading down to the vaults underground. I'm interested, and I follow them through a long series of tunnels. I spend much of this time trying to convince Wife to try out lucid dreaming, but she keeps insisting that she's got important business in the vaults to worry about first. As I probe further into this, the dream ends.

I laid down to WILD and waited. I found myself nodding off but caught myself and continued. I saw mostly nothing, but after a while an image started to come into view. I saw an ice cream parlor, with a checkerboard theme and pink neon lights. There was a girl behind the counter but I couldn't see her face. I was kind of there, in the scene, but at the same time I wasn't, it's a hard feeling to describe. By now I was feeling really intense vibrations, and I was beginning to almost materialize there. I took a few steps, and it actually felt like walking, as realistic as it gets. Then I turned and started running parallel to the bar and the scene was fading, I was in some kind of tunnel of white light. I kept running faster and faster until I jumped up and lost the feeling of the ground under me. I thought I needed to actually enter the dream or something, hoping to break free from my physical body so, so I kept going, but I was suddenly jolted awake.

I'm confused, was I already in the dream? I felt like I was still partially in my physical body. I hear that you should roll over or try to get up out of it, should I have done that? But what a rush, though!

So I got home from school at like 2 and went straight upstairs to take a nap. It was off and on sleeping, I think I had one dream, but I woke up at like 4 and was reflecting on that dream when I realized I was slipping back to sleep except I couldn't move myself into not falling asleep. So I was wiggling my toes trying to wake up when my eyes finally closed and I was in this state of mind awake body asleep. I could see the outline of some girl's blue face as I could hear these ringing noises from probably one of The Weeknd's songs. Before I even realized it, my legs were moving and I was running down a hallway with a bunch of doors. Everything started to become very vivid as I kept thinking about this being a dream, but I couldn't stop thinking of how I couldn't move my arms and then my legs stopped as well, then I woke up.

The problem I have with WILDs is that I can't help but think that I'm really in my bed as the dream is forming at first, so I can't move at all.