Habit RC: I'm at a parking lot at CVS. I perform a nose reality check out of habit...and either I can't breathe or I stop paying attention. I continue with a text reality check of the CVS sign and that looks normal too. Finally on another nose reality check I notice that I can breathe. I'm lucid now. I turn to my girlfriend and ask her if this is a dream. She says it is not. I go to void and try to maintain awareness but I lose it. ... I'm at dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It looks like an Applebee's. The table is pulled up to the steps and arranged around some chairs oddly. Her grandparents were supposed to show up but didn't. Later we leave and climb over some rocks to reach the cars. Fragment: I'm at my childhood home at the upstairs bathroom. I have to pee, but my brother beats me too it.
Jealous: I'm at a bowling alley or arcade type building. I came with my girlfriend, but she keeps leaving me to meet up with some of her friends from college. This time, she has been gone a long time. I get a video feed on my phone showing some guys getting too close to her. I feel very jealous and angry. I have my spartan blanket and I'm on a rollerblade floor. I see a guy who seems scared, and I tell him whatever he is going through, it can't be as bad as me, and that he will be OK. ... I'm racing in a Halloween-themed racetrack. It has many branching paths, and eventually transitions into a Christmas course. There is a fairy that is helping me find secrets in the track, and allowing me to fall down slowly to reach areas I shouldn't be able to. It feels like Mario Kart. One of the secrets is a hidden bar. I land on a snowy street and find my girlfriend with someone at the bar.
Open Heart Surgery: I'm on a surgery table in what looks like a sunroom. I'm having open heart surgery and I am awake for it. Doctor is a younger guy and I am terrified. He seems very casual about what he is doing. At one point there is a break, and I'm told to go walk around. I emerge from the room into a Kohl's clothing store. My Dad, sister, and brother are there waiting for me. I feel a pain in my chest, it feels real.
Dorm Room: I'm with G from work and I'm helping him with AI. We are in my dorm from college. I try to tell him what to do, but he won't listen. He has grocery store donuts at his desk. He's trying to make superhero AI porn. Me and my girlfriend are looking at the dorm as a place to live. Generally looks dingy.
Sunday: Definite Jamie drive by again. I was walking to reddi-mart to buy an evening coffee (2 minute walk from my house. Sometimes I buy a coffee from there from 5-7). There's a back alley route I take. I was walking from behind the store and to the side of the store when I noticed a grey car slam on it's brakes. I would not have noticed otherwise. Saw the familiar brown hair with bangs cut and large sunglasses . Kind of looked at me and resumed speed. I think I startled her, and she got startled again when she realized she hit the brakes. This was all in half a second. I'm thankful no one was behind her. She could have been rear ended. Like I said, I don't mind if she checks on me - if that's what makes her comfortable around me. As long as it's not bread crumbing. Baby steps I guess. I asked her voice why she drives all this way? Why my town? She replied she came to see a friend. I'm like: Oh really is it a guy or a girl. And she replied: You're the friend I've come to see. Lol. Asked Raven to help out in a dream. I noticed Jamie's house was creepy in my dream. Raven agreed despite being under some stress. House Vague dream of being in a creepy house. Some older lady interrupted me and some Korean girl in the house (Jamie). She kept making us collect things from the house and put them outside or something. I was hoping the woman would leave soon so I could be alone with the Korean girl. But she wanted us to check the addict or something for more items. I remember climbing a large staircase where the girl and the older woman were. I think we found something and the Woman put it outside. My memory just gets blurry after but continues on. Like trying to watch a movie on fast forward. I didn't think it was about Jamie until Raven showed me her Journalled dream. Hers is way more detailed tho. Jamie 1 I'm learning braids again on a head dummy. Jamie is there advising me on how to do it. She seems really encouraging. Jamie 2 I was with Jamie again. She seemed stern about something. I don't know what. Is it something I was doing in the dream? Or something I'm doing while awake? Her head voice doesn't seem to take an issue with me as far as I know. But the voice isn't 100% reliable. Jamie 3 Jamie seemed a little more stern about the issue she's having with me. I can't recall any details. As far as the voice is concerned. The "relationship" seems more stable than ever. I sometimes ask her voice if this seems like a "real" relationship. Every time I ask the response is "Yes." As strange as it is I guess.
I fell asleep last night listening to various videos about quantum physics, the solar system, consciousness.. just hoping they could inspire some memorable dream states. Once again, I failed to record them immediately upon waking. But they did happen, and I will recall them to the best of my capabilities now. I was driving my father's old Jaguar and got a flat tire. I remember feelings of embarrassment and shame, as it was due to foolishly driving up on a high curb or something careless. I began playing drums and singing in what was to become a Jellyfish tribute band. Once again, I was elated at my ability to sing these songs well and harmonize with the other vocalist (who I believe was actually Roger J. Manning Jr of Jellyfish). It really was a great feeling, even better than my previous night's dream of singing Led Zeppelin. The last instance I can remember, which I know was a very small part of a much larger scenario, was making eye contact with one of my sister's friends. She's someone I never think about, but this moment in the dream was powerful. It was as though I fell in love with her right there, just by locking eyes. A wonderful feeling, but it was fleeting. There was more to these dreams, but that's all I can remember. I'm just hoping to continue on the path of hopefully inducing a lucid dream. I'll fall asleep listening to similar videos again and hope for the best. Additionally, I need to fight through the desire to go right back to sleep after waking from a dream, and just record it immediately.
Detox She arrives and cries, "Sister, help me." She is weary with the unlit way of her life. She declares, without stout dedication, to give living one more go. She needs to detox. I am no doctor. My mind screams no but my hand reaches out. Does she feel the slight tremors of my dread? She trudges to bed, stays still in the dark. It is the calm before her storm. The Game Extended family scattered cross a yard. Like chess pieces they move: Step pause. Step pause. Step pause. I stride normally through other oddities: Jagged fences. Maples in place of pines. Ditch evolved to river. Stone wall rises to the road. I climb. A mad cousin charges our chess locked kin. He stabs, one by one. No compassion wells for any of them. I am no savior... still I crush stabbers skull with a stone. Silence. Surviving chess pieces step pause their way to our cousin corpse. Driven Destination near found! He chauffeurs us around. Cars keep crossing lines. They speed then skid to shoulder. My heart could be wrong but it believes more safety abides on the roadside than on the road. But I am not released. Strap in. It is accepted, this driven destiny of mangled deformation and/or death. Sots and Stars Moonlight softens life's sharp edges, conceals the clutter of my soul. Night is sweet and safe. Then comes a knock. I swing wide the door. In stampedes slobbering beasts. They are my aunt and two cousins. They guzzle beer, boast drunkard deeds. I sit, un-submitting to their spirits. When finally they fumble their way away, I send no well wishes or waves. Starlight suddenly shakes my heart. Constellations are contorted. North star shines southerly. Sky is awry. How am I to right it? So many missed opportunities for lucidity. Upon re-reading these, I see now the tie that binds them: Some obnoxious sort of savior complex that has lost me control of my own life. From now on: Just. Say. No. It's time to realign my north star.
Updated 08-06-2024 at 02:02 PM by 101265
Several different scenarios, all connected by a feeling. What would normally have been permeated by fear or a sense of dread was instead punctuated by calm and happiness... First encounter: There was this large collection of skyscrapers, interconnected by a kind of airport-esque system of subways and elevators. I was trying to reach my floor, where I was to attend what was, to the best of my memory, a job/lecture. My boss/professor was similar to my college history professor, a distinctly British man. Strange I cannot distinguish between this being my vocation or just a college class. I had several encounters in the buildings/elevators/subways with both strangers and familiar faces. At a certain point, the main entrance to my building was closed, and I struggled to find another way inside. Second: I was with my family, I believe we were discussing politics in an outdoor pavilion. Fairly out of the ordinary for my family to do this. I was to travel to our beach house, and I think my dad was waiting for me there. I can't remember the details of this encounter, but I do recall the feeling distinctly. It was a kind of sickly/sweet happiness, like a fabricated ease. Only upon waking did I question the fact I was feeling so at ease in these dreams. But it did make for an unusually enjoyable experience. Third: I was at a concert or possibly a music festival, it was nighttime. Once again, I encountered both strangers and friends. I was walking around, it was red and black, kind of carnival-like. Some members of one my bands were there and we exchanged words. I think it was friendly. A part that sticks out was a singer preforming a Led Zeppelin tune and forgetting the lyrics. One moment she put the mic in front of an audience member, who sang the incorrect lyrics to the song. She scoffed at him and moved on. Eventually I took over and began singing the bridge portion of Stairway to Heaven. I remember being quite pleased that I was able to hit the high notes pretty well, but nobody seemed to take notice. I wish I had recorded these dreams immediately upon waking. They were still so fresh and vivid this morning. I can only remember fragments and feelings now. But these encounters really gave me a strong, new feeling. It was powerful enough to make me journal them. I hope to continue these recordings as regularly as I can, and ideally get to a point where lucidity would be possible...
Attempting my first dream journal entry. Mud Hill Ritual Sky sprawls starless. Trees stoop, draped in sultry dusk. We rush, Daughter and I, for sighs of light. Up a mountain of mud, toes rake earth, fingers claw clods of grass long dead. We strive. Finally... apex! We stand upon narrow ledge, worn wooden wall behind. To left and right, nations of shawl, of jingle, of smoke, sing. They punch the wall to the doom doom doom of some shadow cast heart. It will all fall apart, I know. So back to bottom I slide to watch the ritual unravel. But it does not. We do not. Starkind Languages spill into the night. Stars are disjointed and stand too near. Amidst them ether fires dance and streak and swerve unobserved by all but I. Fear flares. Then some peace, slippery and warm, spills within. To the speakers I go until ends the omniglot ebb and flow. Their fires fade. One spark remains. Together we weave dreams and schemes for fires yet to be. She is Mox Fulder. I show her the dancing sky fires. She sees! Stars lurch nearer. Now forms the sacred fellowship of the starkind. We are two. These pair of dreams keep coming back to me with fond feelings despite the underlying dread in both. My dreaming goals for today are: 1 Introduce myself 2 Read 3 lucid dreaming threads 3 Make 5 posts 4 Start my dream journal 5 Read 5 lucid dreams before bed Reminder to me: Trying to keep regular dreams to under 100 words because I know that journaling will take more and more time as recall improves. I will write out lucid dreams in a fuller fashion as they happen. Also, I'm not sure if I should give each dream it's own post or post a nights dreams all in the same post. Will figure it out at some point, I expect. Well, here it goes. First journal entry.
Note: I heard that dream shaman bi polar guy talking about his beliefs. He does dream real things about people. He claims he gets shown things about people in dreaming and claims it's his spirit guides that tell him what to do in dreams. So my guess is that is what he is operating under when he consistently interferes in mine and Jamie's dreams. I personally have a huge lack of trust of anything "spirit guides." Have to say. In my own experience: they lie. I personally only trust Jesus at this point. Yes sure, he hardly speaks, and when he does its often vague. But, he never leads astray. First night: Nothing. During the day I did work with the temp agency and did a small moving job in Didsbury. Pretty sure I seen Jamie driving into Didsbury on that pot hole hell road in between Olds and Didsbury. I was in the back of a Dodge truck going past the train tracks and construction near the storage unit Yard. I saw the white SUV that I'm sure I've seen Jamie in before. I saw the long brown hair with a bangs cut and she was wearing large sunglasses ( people with her eye color are a lot more sensitive to sunlight.) I heard her voice in my head say something like, " did you see me? I think I saw you." And sometime later. " I wanna see you again." Next part is debatable whether it was Jamie or not. Many hours later, I'm at home. Sitting at the table outside the house just pondering. I was remembering that Jamie used to do drive bys on me. And that it seemed like some time since she had done so. While I was thinking this. I vaguely noticed a blue or green pickup truck driven by a lone woman, whom seemed to be wearing dutch braids, and sporting large sunglasses. I wasn't really paying attention but she appeared to be in her thirties. She turned from the main street in Bowden but heading towards the main highway but she turned on my street and turned into the alley facing my yard and began heading the opposite way. While turned on to the Alleyway she looked my way, and quickly turned facing front after a second. I was still zoning in my own thoughts when Jamie's voice entered my head, "Did you see me?". I was like: yeah right, no way that was her. But then I ran it back. I've passed her in Olds before when she had braids. In that instance she was beaming at me. ( Her voice will argue she was just smiling but I know better ). As for the change in vehicle . Emily King said in her video that girls will even help their friends vet someone by helping stalk them. And it's not hard to borrow someone's vehicle if you offer to fill their tank if you use it for a few hours. So if it was her. You're telling me that she finished work or whatever she was doing in Didsbury, went home, or to a friend's. Got done up in dutch braids, and borrowed a friend's truck? I even asked her voice, " why are you always changing vehicles?" She replied, " I'm trying to be secretive." Well... It's not working if I can clearly see who it is. It's the quick head turn that's the dead giveaway remember. She must have really liked the last post about the sign I was given to marry her. That's not even the initial big sign I was given. Jamie 1 Me and Jamie are driving in Didsbury towards a camp ground. We both plan to go camping together. Im talking to her in my head instead of normally. I say, "Did you pack is lots of underwear? I think we're going to need it." Uhhh. Jamie 2 Something about Jamie being at a campground and avoiding me. She was feeling guilty about something. Maybe it was a flashback to the outdoor concert thingy I saw her at? Jamie 3 I'm at Jamie's house. It's dark and messy. There seems to be demons all over. But regardless she's happy to see me. We are sitting on a couch holding hands and watching something. Jamie 4 Me and Jamie are walking alongside a busy highway. There is a man walking behind us a ways. Jamie nudges me with a look of fear and indicates in the Man's direction. It's that annoying dream shaman guy that was trying to break us up. He walks faster towards us meaning to catch up but me and Jamie are having none of it. We turn ahead but now there's a large truck pulled over on the shoulder. Cars are going by so fast that going around the truck that it's dangerous to walk around it. The ditch is suicidally deep so that's not an option. The guy is getting closer. Jamie looks fearful and I instinctively pray to Jesus to stop the man and keep him from dreaming with us. A flaming sword falls out of the sky and lands between us and the man. Now it's an immutable wall of fire that he can't cross. This also creates a break in the traffic. I remember me and Jamie finally making it past the truck when I wake up.
Second entry in my exclusive journal for dreams involving Earth being relieved of the human species. I dreamt this story in the early hours of July 27, 2024: I was in a city in Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil, and I was unemployed. An uncle of mine was invited to partner in a psychiatric clinic made for very rich people who needed urgent treatments and a lot of discretion. Knowing I was unemployed, my uncle invited me to assist with the case of a patient, a young woman with short black hair, a red overcoat, and a very elegant hat. Apparently, she was suffering from intermediate-stage dementia, and the disease was progressing slowly and dangerously. I accepted the proposal and met the owner of the institution, a very well-dressed old man with a white mustache, wearing a white suit and lots of jewelry. I went exploring the mansion that served as the clinic and found a balcony with a breathtaking view of the Rio Grande do Sul's pampas. There, right in front of me, a strong storm formed, with black clouds swirling fiercely until a tornado formed right before my incredulous eyes. I found the scene beautiful and ran inside, calling my wife to watch the spectacle with me. When I returned to the balcony, there were four or five tornadoes. They would dissipate and reform, destroying everything around them while we watched. Talking to my wife, I discovered that this was happening all over the world, a result of global climate changes, and in every city, these tornadoes were destroying everything.
Since I was a child, I have often had dreams involving different forms of apocalypse: zombie pandemics, alien invasions, global floods, global droughts, global famines, global wars, etc. These types of dreams are the ones that interest me the most, so I decided to create a separate dream journal specifically for dreams where life on Earth is extinguished. The following dream occurred in the early hours of July 17, 2024: The planet was facing a severe water crisis. Potable water was practically nowhere to be found, and people had already lost hope of survival. I lived in a desert city with houses falling apart. People were dying from hunger, thirst, and all sorts of diseases. Society and its laws had become irrelevant, and anarchy combined with despair resulted in a bestial humanity. There was constant violence among people. I saw children being born and treated with total neglect, so most of them died before growing up. While exploring randomly, I found a resort built on the last source of potable water on the planet. It was a very luxurious and expensive place, accessible only to the world's wealthiest families. I sneaked in and hid among some bushes to avoid being seen. A few meters in front of me was a photographer taking pictures of the families entering the resort. Further away, I saw an immense pool, larger than a football stadium, filled with pure and crystal-clear water, where rich families bathed to relieve the heat. They smiled for the photos and played in the water as if they were completely immune to the scarcity plaguing the planet. I stayed there, hidden and horrified, watching these people enjoy themselves at the last clean water source on Earth.
I was approached by this journalist to do an item on something, idk what exactly it was about, voice acting or something. I go upstairs to take a shower real quick and there's a whole group of people partying in the bathroom there. I don't care and shower regardless. Once I'm ready much later, we head into the city, which is Alkmaar for some reason despite me not living there, nor have I ever been there. We film a bit, but it feels unnatural, so the reporter gets these fake red dreads and attaches these to my hair in the front so it looks like I have more hair. We then go to the McDonald's for dinner and it's super busy there. Meanwhile the camera woman gets the plants out of there so we can film. She does this whole shot from streets away where she runs towards the McDonald's, puts the camera on the table, then interviews me. I can't even remember what it was about and it definitely wasn't a serious interview. The guy working there says the interviewer used to be her boss, I check her LinkedIn and she used to work at a hand washing service company. I think she got some B-roll afterwards, and we get into the Berlin metro and head home. In the metro, I access a locker that apparently everyone in my art school can access, and I get my journals out of there. As the metro arrives at the destination, I try to grab my stuff before the door closes again. A little kid brags that I was interviewed, but no one really cares and I wake up.
Low recall due to some stressful days. Found some semi steady work today through a Didsbury temp agency. Felt really good to have work with some people who aren't my family. . Only fragments to record. Face I was doing my daily prayers for myself and Jamie and half fell asleep. Saw an HH image of Jesus peering over some clouds and smiling. It was as if he was happy with what I was praying over Jamie. HH Quick HH dream of me asking Jamie if she's the real Jamie. And I was using her full name. Last night: In the middle of the night I went out for a smoke. I was having an intimate and funny conversation with her voice and I was thinking if this is really her, I would marry her. Just then I saw a shooting star... As if confirming this thought. Second time this year that has happened to me. Weird phrase Another HH flash of a friend's girlfriend who was visiting our house. She looked at me and said, " There's cash registers in your soup." I woke up and thought the phrase was hilarious.
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