false awakening

So I wake up In a dull Pinch and try to get to a Corner of a room then I notice a Invisible Stealth walking rat I didn't pay it no mind then I started Seeing flashing images as the rat got closer A smile clown enter the room then I Some Monster shit GLoss Form Comes out the tv I try to wake up as fast as I could then I notice The rat again pinch in my mouth like its teeth was grinning dead I could shake the feeling then it rage attack then started eating my eyes over and over again

Had many non lucids that I don't remember.


Jamie dreams

First one I am out at some bar or something. I run into Someone that looks like Jamie from behind, she's wearing some tacky brown leather jacket. I say hello to her from behind but when she turns around she looks a bit different. Her friend is asking who I am Jamie also looks at me as If she's not sure she recognises me or not.

One dream I am with her in a bedroom um playing checkers. Very verbal checkers...

Another dream kind of like that.

Then a kissing dream.

All of those were a few seconds long.

Dreamed I was in a house sitting on a chair and Jesus came up to me and threw a sacred heart at me for some reason. But it was all green. FA, Get out of bed and I am dreaming from jamie's perspective. It's the middle of the night. I go to a walk in closet with some mirrors. I don't feel good so far so I check myself out in the mirror, I still look good and am at least happy with that. I go to pick out some things to wear. Then I notice another side mirror. This one isn't reflecting my face but another face instead. Some Demon girl. It scares the hell out of me.


Dreamed I was on a farm or something. Jamie is by a fence with a horse on the other side. She is looking at me and smiling. She says, "I wanna be with you." Ditto. Waiting on you, girl.

After, her attitude changes. I run into her downtown. We had planned some meeting but she didn't show up. I ask her about it and it seems like she doesn't know me.

In another dream I find her on a subway, She's with a friend. I talk to her but she seems distant. We decide to go somewhere but can't remember where. Her friend sys something like, "Why are you going with that trash anyway?" I get mad and grab her friends head and slam it against some metal thing the I start punching her in the face. Dream self is violent hehe.

Game

In a game where me and some people are in some shooting game. It's in some old asian setting. I have a sniper and quick scope a japanese girl right in the forehead. Her head tilts back but she's still aware She waves at me as if to say that was a good one and falls over. This all happened in super slow motion.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


Living with my family, but feeling despaired and wanting to run away. I am preparing a bag with clothes and a few more items to run away while they are all out. Then my family returns, I hide the bag, no one suspects of my plans. But I see my mom and I start reconsidering my plans because of her. I don't want her to suffer for not knowing about my whereabouts. She is the only one I don't want to hurt.

All alone in Brussels, very early morning. People are still going around, hoping from bar to bar. I feel pretty alive and aware and I absorb all the details of the decorations, architecture, the terraces, etc. I notice that the street is warm but in between terraces it is extremely cold. That's because they use gas heating on each terrace. Then I am dragged with a crowd into a very underground place. Its entrance is literally a tunnel with no light, just some very fade lamps at the end of it, where there is a door. The people and the light and the shadows make really interesting images and I grab my phone to take photos.

Enjoying my last day abroad. Go to a fair, incredibly crowded. Then at some lateral street I see a couple of Buddhist monks and decide to follow them. I find a long line of monks waiting to go inside some building and I go with them. Once inside they prostrate until we reach a room with an altar and some pictures and images of Buddhas and teachers. I pay my respects to. Then follows another room and another altar and more prostrations. As I also prostrate, an old lady in a thin robe appears and leans over to whisper in the ear of the woman in front of me, something about her health and some advice on how to deal with it. The woman seems caught by surprise but thankful for the advice. Then the lady turns to me, her robe opens up, she is naked and doesn't care. She tells me I have to summon and surround myself with nagas to expel the bad naga that is disturbing me. I say "what?" but she goes away without further clarification. I get up and follow her through the crowded streets until she enters her house. She doesn't pay attention to me, never says a word, but also doesn't ask me to leave. She feeds her cat and does whatever she has to do. I tell her I need to know more about her warning, and tell her that my mom had dreamed something related to it the previous night [she did, in waking life]. She doesn't reply but she points me to a bedroom where I can spend the night. I stay there. I lay on the bed and I fall asleep. Then wake up but feel drowsy. I try to move, but feel like my body weighs a ton. Then try to call for help and my voice sounds terribly deep, scary and distorted, like I have a demon controlling my body. I fight back for some time. Then eventually it goes away and I recover control. I don't see the lady anymore.

Then leave to airport. I am back to Lisbon. There are some new constructions by the river bank and I fly over to see the changes. I find a burger stall with a nice terrace, selling really pricey food. A veggie burger is 15€ and a whole meal with fancy wine and dessert is 250€. But then I look around and find a really cool vegan fast food place that has affordable delicacies and I call Riverstone to come have lunch with me there. I meet Evangelion there by chance.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


I have a FA in Riverstone's room. It's dark and I can't find any lights, There is a flashlight but also does not work. I hear scary monster sounds. I go check what it is, I get lucid, but still feel a bit scared. I see a dark figure, think it is the monster, hit it with the flashlight. Light comes up and no monster, just kittens all over, even coming from inside the walls.

Mom picks me up, there's a job opening for plant expert at some small company in our hometown. I need to fill an application. Some kids come by. One steals some documents that were on the table.

Me and some others enter the Matrix with Neo. I think we formed some kind of army to free others. Entering the matrix was fun and psychedelic, like riding a roller coaster while swallowing matrix code. Once inside, we have really cool looks, but not all black like in the movies. We are wearing mostly shades of blue. I have a dress with a balloon skirt, but a bit too short and later I find some fabrics to use as an extra skirt and feel more comfortable. When we enter we find ourselves on some kind of crosswalk on top of buildings, like a suspended terrace and there is a sort of giant wave wall to our right that looks like a tsunami coming to hit us but that never does. It is mesmerizing.

Then we go to some kind of school to train us and it was very posh, looks like an opera house. Even the bathrooms are so very fancy and vintage-y. There are some true geniuses among us. One black kid, seems as young as six, presents us with a music piece he had composed and although it wasn't entirely original and innovative, it was incredible anyway. I could recognize influences of Vangelis, the Blade Runner OST and some other electronic artist. Nobody else thought so, but the kid confirmed. I told him, it is so very well composed, but because it doesn't sound original, it is not amazing. "You have to find your own sound and then you will blow our minds". I wanted to be honest but still encourage him. He felt both pleased and ego hurt, which is normal.
Some people don't like me much, maybe because I am some teacher's favorite and it always feels awkward when I enter a class late and the teacher acknowledged my presence instead of letting me quietly sit like with everyone else. Even when they seemed to be reprimanding me, everybody could feel they were actually happy to see me.
Last day of school and we're packing clothes to go home. My dog Bernardo appears out of nowhere and he has one eye out gouged and I freak out. Then he starts making weird electronic sounds and I see his eye is bionic. I find a way to open up the side of his head and fix the wires to put back is eye in place.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At some house, looking through clothes my mom found in trash, then also some toys which are to be donated to a kindergarten, checking if they are complete and playing a bit with some of the games.
Then for no reason I see my teacher sitting at the end of this room, with it's back turned to me and I get lucid. I go towards him and surprise him by touching him softly in his back. He is wearing a light brown shirt and he looks to the side to see me. I move my hand down his arm and gently caress him. He shuts his eyes in total surrender. So I kiss him. I notice his lips a bit dry, but soon our salivas mix and our tongues intertwine, while I caress his shaved head. I enjoy every bit of it.
Then I realize there is someone else in the room. We stop and I turn to this person. It looks like my dad, he doesn't seem to recognize me. He turns away quickly and heads to a door. As he opens the door, he looks back one more time and his physiognomy changed. He is taller, slimmer, more tanned and dresses like an Indian man. I follow him but lose him in the movement of people outside. My attention also gets drawn by the majestic landscape and I don't follow the man anymore. In front of me are some amazing mountains covered in luscious green vegetation. And there are people going up and down the mountains, apparently carrying things, picking up fruits, going about many different activities. Strangely, the mountains seem extremely tall ,but people have the same apparent dimension whether they are at the top of it or down at its base. I see a huge strange black bird flying over my head. It is the size of a big eagle, it has a beak like a toucan and strange wings that make a half-moon shape with the first two feathers on each side slightly round and color red. I follow its flight and to my left I see what seem like clouds made of liquid water, which give the impression that everything beneath it, is underwater. There is a type of tree whose top touches the liquid cloud and behaves like kelp in the ocean. Then I turn my attention again to the mountains. I realize the contours of the mountains, the hills and valleys, the rocky surfaces, are all fractal shaped. I decide to take off and fly to see it up close. I am mesmerized by these patterns, and the psychedelic colors they have and then I almost wake up, but instead I have a FA in a totally white empty house. I remember I left my teacher back in the other house and I go around this house calling out his name, hoping to summon him back. Going through some corridor I spot someone that looks like him and other people going after, but when I get closer, it isn't him. But he is also a teacher to these people, who admire him and are respectfully walking him out as he leaves. I am starting to feel the LD fading away, so I decide to get out of here and do my own hing. I find a window and jump to outside. It's again a beautiful landscape with green hills, but this house is right on the slope. I have to climb some moss covered rocks to reach the top of the hill. Some lady who had made some comment to me inside, followed me out the window and insists on asking me something about mind training. Something like, if I feel that realization is a consequence of how much time you practice. If it is an inevitable consequence of your time dedication to practice, because she is feeling frustrated for not seeing results. I don't remember exact words I said, it was very short answer, but it was something in the line of "no, it's not just time related, more about quality and merit."
Then on the top of the hill I see a valley below, but really far below, like we are many kms of altitude up. I decide to jump and fly some more. I enjoy it for some time, once again absorbing the details of the majestic landscape. Until I start descending and land in some city below. I land in a town square between some classical buildings and there is a giant painting on the floor with a reproduction of some classical work of art. I dig my hands in the floor and have fun picking up elements from the painting and throwing them in the air to watch them slowly fall like confetti. Then I want the painting to become a giant trampoline and I have fun jumping and doing flips in the air.
When I am done with it, I walk down a street. The LD is weaker and I don't remember exactly what happened but I end up in a TV studio, where a famous morning show is being recorded and I am sitting with the live audience. The show hostess is demonstrating some modern appliances and its uses and we are offered some bread cooked by a bread machine. I taste it and it is completely bland and tasteless. I feel this is boring and once again I aim for a window to change scenario At some corridor outside the recording area, I see a window. I look through it and down below I see a moat or a lake. I am about to jump to it, when I notice it is full of big animals swimming. First they look like crocs, but on a closer look, I see they are mainly big fish, turtles and some mutant creatures, like fish but with tiny arms and hands. I decide to go get the tasteless bread and feed it to the animals. The bread wasn't a lot but seems to multiply as I split it into bits, so I keep feeding the animals for quite a while. Then I wake up. .

Spoiler for Log 1345 - Mad Warp to City:

Created Thursday 03 January 2019

Finally got some LDs. Let's see if I could keep this up without so much strain.

Scrap Group 1
At an unknown apartment room at night time. There's a lot of leftover food, including several boxes of various kinds of pizzas.

WILD transition in bed. As I floated out the door, I got unwittingly shrunk. Things collapsed as soon as I left. DEILD attempt, but I got uncoscnious.

A TF2 cartoon. Lots to this, but I've all but forgotten everything before waking up. DEILD attempt again, but I went unconscious again.

In the living room at home. Mom, dad, and my brother were there. They start rambling on about annoying things. I got aware. Hand rub to confirm. I only walked to the lounge when things began destabilizing. Much like in the old Looney Tunes cartoons, darkness surrounded everything except a circular space ahead. I tried forcing it away with my hands, its texture and weight like heavy cloth. But, I couldn't keep from getting surrounded. Woke up. DEILD attempt. Took a few minutes before I saw results.

Deep bout of hypnagogia. This started as a small green window spinning ahead. The vision expands to a ~36" panel. Kaleidoscopic patterns swirled in view. Eventually, neon words formed. There was a message, but I can't recall what it was. Warp into dream.

Dream 1 - Mad Warp to City

Scene 1 - Alien Madness
The visuals were very blurred, but progressively got better. I was in a realm of pure, alien madness. The ground rippled into brown and dull blue colors, phasing between liquid and a solid, chitin-like substance. Tall mounds of like material surrounded me, seemingly getting closer or further with every step I took.

Immediate warp.

Scene 2 - TOTM January 2019 Basic Task I
The visuals were a bit clearer. I was in the empty streets of a downtown area, right at the foot of vast skyscrapers, dawn light above. I flew upwards. It seemed I was bigger than normal. So, I shrunk down, if too far by going down to about a few inches in height. Anyway, with some effort, I phased through a window in the middle floors. I found myself in a busy fancy dining room. The people there initially appeared as CGI, but that was corrected in time. Either way, they were quickly alarmed at my sudden appearance (somehow seeing past my tiny form).

I floated towards a particularly crowded table. Seated there were a motley group of well-to-do folk in their thirties, six of them women, and about two men, though the latter were quickly phased out quickly. While floating around them, I gave a simple greetings, and was given one in turn. As per the TOTM, I asked them all "Where are you from?" All but one unanimously blurted out "the UK!", (despite their obviously American accent) and chortled. The last one, a brown haired woman, quietly said "the Ukraine" with a nervous smile. I settled myself on the table, then tried and continue some small talk. Suddenly, one of the women took hold of me. This startled me right out of the dream.

Spoiler for Log 1346 - Poisoned Fake:

Created Friday 04 January 2019

Got two DILDs and some fragments today. I've a feeling there were some other lucid scenes, but I seem to have forgotten them.

Scrap Group 1
Various more Shiren related dreams.

In the downstairs bathroom. I felt very dizzy. Curious, I tried floating in a crosslegged position, but only managed to fall on my back. Still, not feeling any pain made me aware. Pity things destabilized in seconds.

In the living room late at night.My nephew was up playing video games. In fact, not only was he playing a supposedly unreleased Bubsy game, but was doing so on a Game Cube. I almost figured out such absurdity.

Dream 1 - Poisoned Fake

Various unknown scenes before this point. The visuals were quite blurred. I was on a balcony outside of a fairly large house. Lucid. I shrunk myself down to a few inches. After sneaking through a half-open door, I found myself in a bedroom. A figure passed by, and planted themselves on a mattress. Momentary dream garbling and "lag" made them difficult to discern from my angle. I floated up to the ceiling, to find it was some boy.

Suddenly, a woman with tanned skin and dark hair rushed in, and viciously battered the kid with a heavy book. She then dragged him into a closet, yelling at him as she continued her assault. If her words were to be believed, she was actually the kid's mother. Eventually, the beating stop. So too did the kid's screams...

The madwoman addressed me by name. She seemed only slightly annoyed at my presence, barely reacting to my being a witness. I was wary, but I didn't say a thing. I only followed her out to another balcony indoors, hovering beside her shoulder. Down below, several people were hurrying out the front door, luggage in hand. One man called to the woman, warning that she'll miss her flight if she doesn't make haste.

We returned to the bedroom. Cue a transparent betrayal. The woman immediately snatched me from the air. Her form then changed to that of another woman, younger than before, skin pale and hair ragged and brown. She monologued on and on about the many ways she could get rid of me. In the end, she settled on the obvious choice: by eating me alive.

Well, I was prepared for this. In the blink of an eye, I became both incorporeal and invisible, then phased myself through her hands. Furthermore, I left a lifeless and, above all, toxic replica in my stead.

The woman, none the wiser, plopped the clone in her mouth like candy. She took wicked joy in chewing the copy up and savoring it for as long as possible. It took over a minute before any serious symptoms occurred, starting with stomach pains, then a sudden fever, and then trouble breathing. The woman, for her part, tried purging, but by then it was too late. Falling over, she wheezed in agony, before she stopped breathing altogether.


With that out of the way, I tried rematerializing, but couldn't. Reckoned the "clone" was my actual body, and that I needed to get it back. Disgusted, I phased into the woman's stomach to take back my remains. Good news was, this instantly restored my form intact. Bad news was, I was stuck inside a dead woman's stomach. Either way out would be unpleasant. I decided to take the, uh, oral exit. It was a tough climb, but at least I made it to the top much faster than expected.

The second I clambered out her opened maw, the dream collapsed.

Spoiler for Log 1335 - Street Flight Chase Awareness and Other Assorted Stories:

Created Monday 24 December 2018

Two LDs and a bunch of scraps.

Scrap Group 1
Watching one of my brothers play Sonic (3) and Knuckles. Skip to Sandopolis Zone Act 2. The background transitions to blue crystal, somewhat like in Lava Reef.

At home. A old friend showed up to visit. He was in prison jumpers, and was being escorted by guards. He showed me gameplay footage of a 3D Mortal Kombat game, supposedly released in 2013. I asked questions about it, which he thought had obvious answers. Thought him kinda a jerk for that.

Dream 1 - Suicide School

The visuals were blurred. I was rushing through a school's hallways. I was almost late for my next class. Actually, I felt I was already doing so poorly, with no way of recovering grades. No idea why I bothered. Anyway, I shouted "Tiid Klo Ul!", stopping time long enough to barely make it.

Skip ahead. While leaving class, I realized I forgot a book of mine. So, I commanded it to float to my hand.

Reloop a few times. Later in the hallways, I saw a chilling sight: figures hanging from the ceiling. Many were kids, and a few were characters from kids shows, like Elmo and several other Sesame Street puppets. All of them had paper sheets on their faces, which themselves had small smiley faces printed on them. There were a few victims that were plainly alive, and even one or two were still only preparing their suicide. However, I did nothing to help them, and in fact just passed them by, only mildly perturbed. Looking back, such lack of conscience is... disturbing...

Skip ahead to another set of corridors. An art teacher and her students were setting up a big paper mache display. Contents included huts about 5'5'' tall. Cartoon animals were plopped behind roofs, appearing as if they were climbing on. Something about this creeped me out. Maybe the creatures' expressions? Dunno.

Things get unclear. Not sure how this ended.

Scrap Group 2
In a room in an unknown facility. Below me, an ethereal message box appeared. There were blurbs of a "Grass Titan" attacking people, yet ironically, it was described as being friendly. Later, the Titan barged through. It appeared as a stumpy 20ft humanoid made of grass. Besides a feminine shape, it lacked other distinguishing qualities. The creature snatched a hapless guy, and carried him off. It initially seemed fond of him. But, messages indicated the man was being torn alive out of sight. By the time I went to investigate, I found only his battered remains. So much for being friendly...

Repeated clips of the infamous "Press X to Shaun" glitch from Heavy Rain.

Dream 2 - Street Flight Chase Awareness

The visuals were a bit blurred. I was free-falling from the sky at daytime. About a minute in, control panels sprung up around me, like a plane's cockpit. Fancied this was a giant robot. All of this equipment vanished half a minute later.

I landed on a city's streets, where I finally realized the dream. Suddenly, a futuristic, chrome colored cop car chased me down. I flew backwards, barely keeping ten feet ahead. I then found myself in the back seat of a moving vehicle. Anyway, I fired a golden energy blast to the sky. The projectile then split itself, and rained down in the path of the police cruiser. That's the end of that.

I turned my attention to the driver, to find it was actually my guide, E, in her naga form. Made me wonder how she could drive like that, but oh well.

The dream collapsed soon after. DEILD two minutes later.

Dream 3 - Cold Dawn Pool

The visuals were a bit dim. DEILD transition in bed. I overhear housemates arguing about something in the kitchen. I go there, but didn't find anyone. Instead, I noticed the walls were colored blue, green, and red, respectively.

Hand rub. I fly out the window. Suddenly, I found myself elevated over a huge pool surrounded by forestry, cloudy dawn sky above. This setting "reminded" me of a dream (actually a false memory) I had earlier. Anyway, I try breathing ice, but all I really saw was vapor, as if I were in the cold.

The dream collapsed soon after.

Spoiler for Log 1336 - Power Sites, Car Trunk, MSH, and Demonic Ward Scraps:

Created Tuesday 25 December 2018

Just fragments, though I got close a few times.

Scrap Group 1
Something about loitering around in random locales, of which were said to give wealth and power to those that waited long enough.

False awakening in the truck of a vehicle.

Playing a Marvel fighting game, likely Marvel Super Heroes. I used Magneto. First fight was against Iron-Man. I was zoning too much for my own good, not helped that Iron-Man's projectiles were much faster than usual.

False awakening in the floor of an unknown apartment room. I was imagining various scenes, when E appeared beside me. She shifted between various monstrous and demonic forms. It felt as if she was warding me from danger.

Spoiler for Log 1337 - Clumsy Babysitting Unexpected Guest Polluted Storm Swim Bridge and Near Accident Fragments:

Created Wednesday 26 December 2018

Just fragments. At least my back pain mostly subsided. Now I just need to get focused again...

Scrap Group 1
Something about taking care of babies. One of them fall on their head on tiled flooring, yet they remain perfectly fine.

Mom's boss unexpectedly visits home.

At a hotel with family. Later, Vegeta appears out of nowhere in a small, hovering vehicle. He has me and my brother, Chaz, go with him to do some unknown tasks. Vegeta drops us off at an empty, exceedingly long bridge, stormy skies above. My bro and I walked through the road for a bit, when he suddenly jumped into polluted waters below. He claimed it would be faster that way. I followed suit. After a while, we stop at an inlet to dry up, only to go for a swim yet again. Eventually, we arrive in a city.

Riding around in a highway at daytime. Chaz was there, and my other brother, Sebastian was driving. The road was very crowded. Other drivers get impatient. A few of them even make change dangerous lane changes into opposing traffic, almost getting us into an accident.

Dream: In restaurant, maybe FL or Outback. I've asked them to let me use their kitchen to prepare a meal for F, they agreed. I'm cooking a Ruth's Chris-sized steak and while I'm busying myself with everything else (sides, table prep) it burns on the bottom. I flip it and quickly go to serve it. But it turns out they gave me a shitty table, and I know how F likes booths. So I try to move but all they can give me is a less shitty table. So I pick up the drinks and food and move them, I have to get the assistance of one of the waitresses to get it all, then F arrives and the waitress is sitting with us now. Suddenly a boy joins us to get with the waitress, and it's a very convoulted version of the dance episode from "My So-Called Life" which F was watching last night. The steak tastes amazing despite being "well and good" or some other variation of the phrase "well done" that one of the DCs said. It was really juicy, nicely but minimally seasoned, tasted like a solid Medium although it looked black on the bottom.

Dream: Dream revisits the same area as the last dream, I take F through to the other side of the building, it's a long hallway that reminds me for some reason of the first level map from SW: Dark Forces, while in reality it's just a long, wide white hallway with very tall ceilings and a cul-de-sac-ish area at the end.

Spoiler for potentially NSFW:

F and I are talking (sort of fighting?). I'm on top of her on the ground and we're making out and for some reason I slap her? I walk outside of the divider and see Ms. P, my babysitter from when I was a kid. It's this really awkward juxtoposition (I think I may have been naked?) and I'm trying to be nice to her while she's hugging me, and at the same time am feeling really guilty about F, and want to go apologize to her or something, but I'm still mad at her? It was just a huge jumble of emotions.

Fragment: F and I in an upstairs hallway like Laura Palmer's but reversed and open, hiding from someone?

Dream: FA where I wake up and feel neck-fuzzy and walk around the room clumsily.

Actual WBTB happens here.

Dream: I'm a superhero in a library area, my nemesis is Bullet, I have a female partner, at some point I hijack smokey van for a getaway (from a black patriarchal superhero gang/family of Bullet), I have invisibility powers, "NPCs" can't see me but will still avoid me -- thought that was an interesting caveat; an older woman superhero comes in and betrays my partner and is searching for me with the help of Bullet, I fly through paper separators, they won't kill me -- want me alive. Will edit to fill in details later. At some point I could read things consistently -- what did I read??

Dream: Lanes, bus, swerving. Bus is like 20 feet wide and 30 feet high and has to park outside of the overpass. Sunny day.

Lucid #81: Revisit table/desk area from Bullet dream. Spontaneously gain awareness but don't want to "cross the threshold" and become lucid. Linger for a second, playing with drawers, then say fuck it and ask "What is my path in life?" or something like that to my subconscious repeatedly. I don't get or feel a response, so I remember some old advice and look down and examine myself.

Spoiler for decidely NSFW:

I'm wearing a deep blue T-shirt, and for some reason, grey panties. I walk up to a mirror near the desk and check what's going on down there, and it's a pretty accurate depiction of the female anatomy. I'm kind of just checking it out when the realization hits that the dream is screwing with me and I'm about to wake up

Spoiler for decidely NSFW:

and then I do.

Tried Numi brand Guayusa tea last night (at bedtime, not WBTB, because I had no opportunity to steep tea for 8-10 minutes in the middle of the night). I half-expected it to keep me awake but in reality my thoughts were just so clear for the first time in a long time that I didn't want to go to sleep for around 30 minutes. Still had no problem relaxing with it overall, it just felt like a fog had been lifted from my brain. Highly recommend.

5x1+ 1x.5 + 10 (first lucid) + 5 (DILD) + 2 (WBTB) = +22.5 => 165

12-16

Nothing pre-WBTB
Dream: FA where red foxes come into the backyard, dog is scared, then more foxes come over hill covering fence.
Dream: FA where I'm rehearsing a lucid in bed - visualization skills were amazing because I was in a dream (I think).
Lucid #78: In 9 backyard, become lucid, run out towards birdhouse with dog, turn him into a fox from earlier dream, fly.
Lucid #79: In attic, become lucid, do weird finger-through-wood-through-finger RC, walk around, beginning of plot of #80 (grey hair black eyeliner pale woman is introduced as a revolutionary/collaborator?)
Lucid #80: In a modern-looking guggenheimish place, kept myself stable for a long time (maybe 5 mins total dream length?). Got lucid almost immediately but went with plot of lucid. I'm a woman in this one, running away and spying on behalf of the woman from before. I remember feeling my feet when I was running. I run through an atrium/lobby area while it's still empty and find a good place to duck behind (it's an attached area to the circular lobby and staircase that's recessed a few feet into the floor). When I climb/drop down into this small hiding place, I feel the gravity/physical sensations in vivid detail even though it's a movie-style acrobatic move. I duck pretty low (but not low enough) and watch as maybe a hundred people come down the staircase. I start looking at their faces and they're so detailed. They're all adults, most dressed in business clothes or their sunday best. Suddenly there are three or four older women and men wearing long powder blue robes and white hoods/masks, and they look right at me. I jump out of my hiding spot, across the staircase and to the lobby (where all of the people are now. I stand on a table and am soon followed by the pale white-haired black eyeliner girl, who starts monologing about why we're there. After a bit of this (I wish I remembered what she said) I wake up.
It was a long lucid chain so I had other lucids but don't remember enough to write them down or count them. Lucid fragment: transformed myself.
Fragment: Grandpa?
Dream: FA where I write down/tell all of my dreams

3x1 + 1x.5 +
10 (first lucid) + 5 (DILD) + 2 (WBTB) +
5 (RC) + 2x5 (other lucids)
= +35.5 => 138.5

12-17

Dream: Watching an RPG like Chrono Trigger or Oracle of Seasons (those eras) play out in front of me; it's taking place in a large castle with small raised platforms along the walls of an open section. At first there are people (sprites) there, but ss I approach each time they fade quickl. Possibly due to a curse? I think tomyself during the dream that the sprites sould be replaced with a "..."?
Fragment: Trying to find a shirt in the dryer for F's cousin, they're all too small though.
Fragment: Something about a carrot wrapped in plastic (Easter).
Dream: Overhead view of google maps/earth, I'm watching third-person my car drive down a road. I have to direct it with my touch/gestures from above, and it become a little unstable a few times. I am sort of an entity within the third-person camera doing the gestures, if that makes sense. Eventually I just start driving like crazy and crash into cars, hop over them, am kicking up dust. There's one section of the road that curves in two places, I have to zoom in to decide. Then I kick up dust all around and I'm pretty much just figure-8-ing the car around the desert. There's a humongous cardboard box which I run into.

2x1 + 2x.5 = +3 => 141.5

12-13

Dream: In a forest with F and D. I'm laying treats along the right-side path for D to follow and go through. For some reason, it's a competition where I have to lead D through his path and then do my own path as well. Once I finish D's path with him (he isn't great at it) I go to a small dock/pavillion/gazebo where I guess I have to cross to get to my path. There are all of these fuzzy caterpillars arranged like spiders crawling over the area I have to duck under/back through to get to my path. I'm really grossed out but eventually forced to touch them and find out they're not the stinging kind (maybe F shows me?). I back through and wake up.

Dream: I'm in 9 with F's grandma (G) and little cousin (L), we're planning a party for L and I bought her a paintbrush. G is asking me to host a party or something in this room and I said fine and she said everyone else will have to pay $50 which is a great honor but I don't have to pay it. There's a big crooked cardboard pink box with a weird shape protruding from the top, which I assume is G's present for L sitting out in the open, unwrapped. L keeps asking what the logo for Walmart is, and I don't want to tell her because in the top-right corner of the box it's there, and I guess I don't want her to know her present came from walmart? Doesn't make a lot of sense because the other side says "Shipped from Walmart" in clear black Impact font letters, just upside down (maybe she can't read upside down).
Dream transition to the kitchen area and I notice a roach or two on the mantle. Then I realize they're everywhere. It was dark before but now it's morning. I try to find some shoes to kill them with and when I look down I realize there are roaches and beetles everywhere, on the floor, couch, etc. I ask my dad for his shoes as I back towards the garage door. He says I'll be fine, they can't hurt you. The smaller beetles are approaching me now, one of them the size of an adolescent turtle has a white spot where his shell by his face peeled off. There are now beetles the size of those old exercise platforms that you step on and step off from. They have two pincers and a protruding element. Each time I look away and look back, it looks more metal/mechanical. My dad is putting his foot and ankle in between the pincers and the protruding part and showing me that "they don't hurt you" but really he's just moving his ankle out of the way at the last second.

Dream: In 9 LR again at night, room is mostly empty and I'm working onn the floor with F on some christmas dioramas on construction paper platforms. I can't remember now what the first few were of, but after doing a few she's mad at me. I get up and get some wooden train tracks (the traditional kind that fit together) and a wooden train (which looks pretty beat up). Two of the four tracks are painted, one red, one blue. I offer to paint the other ones and she gets angrier. I close the drapes on the sliding glass door but she wants them open, and she opens them back up, although they part from the middle when she does it whereas in real life they all pull from one side. D is looking out the window. She's still very mad at me when I bring her some red corrugated construction paper for the last diorama.

Fragment: Hospital w/ F?
Fragment: 9 backyard? Serious w/ family?

Had a few near-WILD experiences during this period despite doing no daywork and no MILD, only did SSILD after the WBTB briefly. I did take a vitamin B12 before bed (around 10 but didn't fall asleep till 11). WBTB (where I actually got up and walked around) 5:30 till 6:30, woke for good at 7:35.

Lucid #73: I'm in a huge mall or college bookstore area, yellow light. The dream part went on for a while but at a certain point I round a corner and see F. She's wearing something low-cut and holding a book. I notice some freckles that aren't accurate and become lucid! The first thing I said, for some reason, was "this is our dream!" I don't remember why I did this, but it seemed to empower her as a DC to be happier/less distressed; maybe it was just my own perception of her informing this. In any case, we talk for a while, but because I kept diving in this lucid chain instead of writing these down in between, I don't remember now about what. Eventually I led her outside to a campus student union/cafeteria area. I picked her up in my arms and I told her I was taking her to my incubated dream world (I called it something weird which I wish I remembered now). I spun for maybe 10-20 seconds but it didn't help much except to stabilize a bit. I ended up just looking at her for a while, and she was just smiling so big. Probably the single most wholesomely gratifying LD experience so far.

Lucid #74: I'm in a small cramped room, blue light. I'm with F again, leading her by the hand. We pass through another room with clutter and junk all around and I see a medusa-like woman who's covered in snakes, all green-black. She starts to chase us but I become lucid and send her away from us, not via force push or anything, but just by will. She is moved (not pushed) back against the wall, and I will her to phase through/into the wall (I figured if I can do it, so can DCs). She does, and it looks super wobbly and cool. But now all of the sudden I can hear a heartbeat sound coming from the walls. I don't worry about it and remind myself that I'm in control. I take F upstairs and we sit on a strange chair in an 8-like living room. We talk again for a bit, more serious this time than joyous. I ask her what I should get her for christmas. She says the earrings I got her were good but I should "double down"? We talk about a few other things which I've forgotten now, and for some reason when we're talking she keeps switching sides and talking at my back; it's sort of like we're in back-to-back seats in a round booth, and I keep turning one way and she'll turn the other. The heartbeat is mostly faded but I woke anyway.

Lucid #75: This one was a DEILD. I "came to" standing over a bed in a dark attic room. There was another snakelike monster in the bed, this time smaller like a large-dog-sized roly poly I guess. Since I was instantly lucid I had no fear and came at the thing face first to watch it shrink away. It shrunk in size and kept backing up and I put my hand on it and transformed it into D, but a smaller version. Then I told D to follow me (he was grey in this version since he originated as a snake monster). I was trying to find F but couldn't. Something happened for a while in this one but I lost it.

Lucid #76: This one started as a DEILD but I guess I lost lucidity during the transition and it became a dream where I was being informed by detectives that my teenage daughter was murdered. They took me to the spot where she was murdered (the outside of my apartment where I walk my dog) and I became lucid. I forgot all about the plot and was just energized by the actions of my previous dreams where I talked to F, especially when I asked about the Christmas present -- it was just really exciting that I spontaneously did something like that. This is important for two reasons I can think of: I woke with an enormous sense of elation/gratitude, and also I remembered not only WL memories within this dream, but also dream memories from a previous dream! Anyway because of all of this I started running victoriously towards these humongous trees (they were more like tree-bark vines reaching up maybe 20 stories, like a skyscraper). I was so happy that when I felt the moisture on some of the leaves I thought of rain, and it started raining! It felt so real, it was amazing. At first I was lifting myself with my arms only, but then I thought about it and started using my legs too. I looked down and up at the huge expanse of the trees and the rain and it was just an exhilarating experience.

Lucid #77: Semi-DEILD. It wasn't instant but I did definitely "slip back" in a way. I tried to materialize something and eventually I got up very sloppily (my control was off due to awareness of WL body in a weird position). I walked to the bathroom and it reminded me of the opening scene of the 6th or 7th HP book with Harry's vision of Nagini biting the man in the room. There were two guys with country accents talking here. Woke up.

Lucid fragments: heard music at one point; felt grief? maybe there was at one point an older man giving me advice; possibly during #75 I turned a small square section of either a being (snake being) or a piece of wood (bedpost?) into a flashlight.

3x1 + 2x.5 +
10 (first LD) + 5 (DILD) + 2 (WBTB) + 4x5 (other LDs) +
15 (personal goal*)
= +56 => 99.5

Running total: 99.5

* Change the weather to make it rain while already lucid

Note: This one was quite violent. This is out of the norm for me, but seeing as there is some unusually intense drama playing out in my life right now (a major disagreement with my partner), I guess this is sort of a reflection or a catharsis. Still, it was unsettling.

Dream: In the far backcountry with a few other people. At least three others. I don't know who these people are. Myself and one other are antagonists in this plot, although my participation in the events that unfold is limited and hesitant.
We are in what might be part of a state or national park. There is a large clearing of about 6-8 acres. Most of it is flat, but on one end, it slopes up and rises about 20 feet, has a sharper incline that rises another 3 feet, and then it levels again, and the upper 1/2 acre is level and it contains the road access. Myself and the others drive into this lot and park in a light, military-grade 4x4. We bring the others out of the truck and push them towards and down the hill. They are fearful. The other antagonist is immersed in haranguing and intimidating them. At some point during this escalation I begin to distance myself and hide behind the steeper incline at the top of the hill. I watched as he lobbed explosive spray cans and they landed on the victims, who burned and died.

This morning (IWL) my partner was getting ready for work and I really wanted to speak to him or hug him or something, but instead I had fallen asleep and had several consecutive false awakenings that involved me laying in bed and chit-chatting with him in a neutral way.

Fragment: a campus. Rainstorm. Seeing a friend through a window. Trying to get some documents printed. In the library, somebody is trying to come on to me and they don't listen or stop despite my dissent.

12-11

Dream: Old-school hand drawn room (reminded me of Angel's Egg for some reason) which I was placed in, covered in spiderwebs, with a large door and a square section cut out of the floor which would rotate and change, but for now looked like the rest of the room. This part of it was like the first dungeon in Minish Cap. I go through the door and there's a beautiful garden terrace where a woman in her early thirties, dressed in a green dress and covered in plant outfitting, wants to be my wife. I take her hand and walk her around the terrace, then return through the door to the spider room and discuss the prospect of marrying the spider queen. I wake up before deciding.

Dream: At a large house with daylight pouring in, I've spent the summer there and am showing someone how to use a lathe to make a particular shape in a piece of wood. Transition and a young Jodie Foster (younger than Silence of the Lambs) is now there in my stead. The owner, who is older and a bit menacing, is walking her around. The owner suddenly changes into James McAvoy from the movie Split. He's subtly (or not so subtly) suggesting that he can get away with anything here and Jodie (who is with the FBI?) says that the FBI can stop "everyone". Suddenly this is all a film and Stanley Kubrik is directing, and he's not happy with the shot. I'm now possessing Jodie, and we're walking back through the house (toward the lathe area). A few doors open on their own, and one chair pulls back from a table and rotates to face us. It's sufficiently scary. In a small fragment/FA later, I have missed calls from Kubrik.

Lucid #72: I do WBTB and try a Choline 350mg capsule. After a bit of MILDing, I decide to SSILD and go to
bed as I usually would. I MILD one last time with "I will recognize the dream state. In my next dream, I will
look at my hands and realize I'm dreaming". I fall asleep and wake briefly and have a few cycles of this, where I catch myself right on the edge. Finally I'm aware enough to ride that and I feel the tunnel vision/pull of the WILD! I'm lying on my side and my whole body is pretty numb, and for some reason I'm worried about moving my waking body since the dream doesn't feel like it's "materialized" enough. So instead of moving my dream body, I sort of will myself backwards and start spinning, and I'm in! I fall/float/fly towards the backboard and can finally start moving my arms, although they're stiff. It's incredibly dark in the room so I have a hard time stabilizing, especially since my tactile and auditory senses are also not very well engaged. I do a finger-palm RC but my coordination is off and it takes a few tries to get my hands in the right position; I finally do it and it works but only helps a little. I decide that I have to get out of the room if I'm going to stabilize and keep this going (since I have spotty luck with lights) so I head to the curtains and try to phase through them, thinking of the incubated dream scene I expect to be on the other side. I think of how it will smell, sound, and look. I feel like I'm going to make it, but somehow I get wrapped up in the curtains and am unable to phase through them (why didn't I just push them aside? ;_ and I wake up. I try to DEILD but don't have much luck latching on to the images; it feels like in all of my DEILD attempts lately, the images are weaker and are sort of spinning away from me. I imagine the feeling/texture of surfaces I see, and imagine my dream arm reaching out and touching them, but it just doesn't work like it has in the past. In any case, the exit on this WILD was probably my most exhilarating yet, even though I didn't get to do much with the lucid.

Dream: I'm with F and my dog (D) at a huge house (our current lodging -- apartment, hotel, vacation home, idk). It's dark and we're walking through it, checking out the rooms and talking. D is by the door so I crouch down and look out the window panes on the door. The stars are beautiful, and then I notice that someone is on our porch in one of our lounge chairs, an older man in a white robe. He's putting down a beer when I notice more people in the neighbor's yard. Then, to the left of me in the kitchen/dining room picture window, I notice three pickup trucks parked in a driveway that I didn't know existed, taking up way too many spots! Three guys are walking into our house carrying baskets and cases full of beer.

Fragment: There's a middle-aged woman in a grey robe or dress who's posing on the carpet as if for a photo shoot, saying suggestive things.

Lost a dream here.

Fragment: F is mad at me for some reason? Long and drawn out dream but it's lost now.

One thing I noticed tonight -- almost everytime I woke, I did an immediate (mental) RC, which is progress! Also my nonlucids were incredibly vivid and interesting, which is another goal I have.

3x1 + 2x.5 + 10(LD) + 5(WILD) + 2 (WBTB) + 2 (RC) = +23 => 38.5

12-9

Two dreams I can't even read now.

Dream #1: In 9 living room, vivid explicit scene with F (very emotional).

Another unreadable; maybe I need to go back to writing on my phone.

Dream #2: In grandparent's house, it's a very different version of the house, but for some reason I think it's accurate. It's much bigger and with many more small alcoves and nooks and crannies. There is a specific microwave & toaster oven that convinces me that it's their house. I felt like as I was walking through it I was exercising non/semi-lucid dream control, which is strange; I definitely wasn't lucid, but I was able to change things at will. This is a trend I've been noticing quite a lot. It also reminded me of a house I'd been to in a dream before (specifically a dream set there where I climbed a gigantic tree in the backyard). Eventually I walk out onto the carport and then turn around, and my late grandma is there. She's bald, so I fashion her a wig shaped like her old haircut. I think we spoke and maybe walked somewhere together. It was comforting to see her.

Another unreadable.

Fragment #1: Outside of a hotel or convention center with highschool friend S. We're taking turns drawing guns. I draw some fusion of an M60 and an AR. I think it became real and I started shooting it around for fun. Then we went inside and it reminded me of my fellowship hall from my childhood church.

Dream #3: There was a long dream before what I start to remember, but I'm in a squarish or octoganal room with a coworker A and a couple of other "attendees"; it felt like we were in either a youth retreat or a reality show like Big Brother -- we were all in a house together for some reason. He was showing me how to do a certain lift (a special kind of squat) and he was in some weird rack that went around all four sides. He unstrapped some supports and rotated 90 degrees as if that was important. There were two or three other people in the room, one looked like a hipsterish girl (yellow shirt, black pants, grey hair? maybe). Quote in my DJ: "Stood in on the [spare] / Can't you see?".

Dream #4: I work at a local taco restaurant serving snowballs. It's nighttime and the restaurant/food truck is open to the air. Someone asks for a stuffed snowcone and I refuse indignantly, serving them a "regular" instead (it's all ice cream). I look out the back window and see some signs that remind me of New Orleans, on which the text doesn't change. I think this is odd, because after all the text should change since I'm in a dream. Somehow I did not get lucid from this thought. Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week.

4x1 + 1x.5 = +4.5 => 13.5

12-10

Sleep schedule is still not back to normal.

Dream #1: Long, vivid nonlucid taking place in a stronghold(?). First scene: with F in the middle of the night on a long, high lookout bridge kind of area. I'm shining a flashlight (or lantern?) over the metal railing and it's brighter in certain parts of the metal; I tell her that this is because there's a higher spirit presence/concentration in the brighter areas. The flashlight illuminates the bars but nothing beyond them, until I think that thought, and pass it over a terrifying withered old woman/hagraven fusion! I try to take the flashlight away but just the image of her is pulling F into some kind of black hole? When F is pulled in I point the flashlight back in full force so that I can go after her; I'm sucked in too, but I think a bit too late.

I'm transported instead into a large open body of water with my comrades at the fortress. There is a raised shore area scattered with leaf litter, but the floor of the body of water is made up of vivid multicolored mosaic sections of mud/stone. Looking back their shapes are sort of organic, and the entire picture together kind of looks like a political map (color scheme, borders) however that didn't occur to me at the time. I get the feeling that the entire area is covered by a very tall natural structure (cave or high canopy), as there's a bright opening far ahead where sunlight peeks through. Scattered throughout the pool, embedded in the multicolored segments, are red skulls and ribcages. Some of the skulls are only peeking out enough to look like masks.

Beside me, one of my older female comrades (a leader?) is consoling me after I explain the situation. We begin formulating a plan.

Dream #2: FA which was very accurate, but I still had my mints on the nightstand while in WL I had accidentally knocked them off last night.

2x1 = +2 => 15.5

12-4

Fragment (a): Guy with vape-ish thing that has a rubber cover on mouthpiece, like a new paintbrush. He gives me douche chills. He's explaining something in a condescending way? Darkish wood room?

Dream (i): In a very dark crawlspace/attic/room, sneaking around, don't want to be found. Strong sense of foreboding, remember thinking "oh no" after feeling fear, remembering in-dream that fear/expectation will cause the thing to happen. I don't get close to lucidity though. Strange how I can peripherally recognize things to do/not do in a dream, and realize them, but not realize I'm in a dream. Fell through with companion onto a palette/tub in the corner of the room; window across the way? Transition, outside 8 on dog walking path by poop bag station. Talking to dad about politics/voting? Notable as the first time I've dreamed about this area of 8, which is strange because I've walked the path thrice daily for over a year living here.

Dream (ii): FA-type dream, but in totally distorted version of 8. Has almost the same vibe as (i) (foreboding), but now F is here. She's gotten dressed in her pajamas again and is sitting on the couch, I join her there (third person moment). Notable because in the waking between (i) and (ii), I MILDed that I wanted to return to the dream location of (i), and in a sense they were very close together in a way that I can't quite put my finger on. It's just that "dream understanding" that comes to you.

Fragment (b): Series of in-bed FAs.

Lucid #71: In a house, don't remember the first few moments of the dream, suddenly gain consciousness and push my hands into a wall. Feels cool. When I pull them back out, I have rotten/termite-eaten wood one one of my index fingers. Something looks wrong about my wrist where the (sleeve?) meets my hand -- the overlap is backwards. It looks my hand (which looks totally real) is actually a glove, and the sleeve is my real body? So I pull off my hand like a glove, and underneath there's a foot! It's not mine because it's not hairy and looks feminine, and the toes are painted blue (#00008b looks like a match). I feel it with my hand and then put it against my face to see if it feels real -- it does! I have a hand foot! How strange. I don't know for sure now, but I remember after waking thinking that the senses to my hand felt different -- it didn't feel like I could control a hand and those nerve impulses would be "translated" into foot movements -- it actually felt like controlling another foot in the place of my hand. If that makes sense. But there's no way to verify that now I guess. Anyway, after feeling the foot, I was torn between sitting down and meditating and teleporting to my dream world, and I ended up hesitating and woke up.

Fragment (c): Series of controllable hypnagogic episodes. First, a series of faces that I could move, and who had personalities I could understand. I don't remember the second. I also had one or more dreams after this but lost them.



Notes: Excited about the December Contest!

so I don't know if this was a lucid dream or a non lucid dream so I jus got playing games then I start to rest my eyes I was in a vortex then a spiraling galaxy i then fall into sleep paralysis i see a bending light then the light flashes then accumulates its self in a upright position the scene was very abstract the light then becomes dense and collapse in itself then a lush planet starts rising as the planet starting floating i black out where all i can see is a Dark aura yet I'm still sleep so i try to wake myself up in the dream somehow i regain lucidity for a brief second where when the dark fade i seen the planet glimpse itself into a light formation before losing control of my wake the the the scene start to fade and go completely black again with a tiny hint of the planet visible then i woke up