false awakening

All night it's the same story. If I close my eyes I INSTANTLY fall asleep, but I remain in my room, like a false awakening that happens with no delay. The only reason I know i'm asleep is that I can immediately hear voices. Usually those of my roommate, one time it was Jake Paul (lol, I've never seen a video of his) and then for the last 10 or so it was the voice of a little british girl, standing behind me in my bedroom.

The dreams didn't seem particularly hostile, just generally weird noises, the british girl would just seem to dictate my thoughts, so if I concentrated I could actually control what she said, but it didn't make it feel any less creepy, just sitting there in my bed listening to some random little girl. It was pretty scare knowing that at any moment the dream could go south very fast, so I would just repeatedly wake myself up to avoid that happening.

It's 5 AM and I'm fuckin dead tired. Gonna watch friends for a while then try to sleep again.


Maybe I ate too much cheese for dinner.

I'm kinda planning on not writing my non lucid dreams I this journal, but since I had 2 dreams tonight where one of them was a lucid, I'll put both in here.
However, I did not write these 2 dreams down during the night, so I'll only put in some notes here.

First dream, I was in a Arabic like city. I was traveling with a friend, and we were exploring the city. Suddenly we hear evacuation sounds, and people start fleeing. It turns out there was a zombie outbreak. I forgot something in a car, so I went to grab it. However the zombies caught up to me. Suddenly 3 super zombies appeared. The were wealding swords, and ran a sword fast as humans. I ran away, but one of the zombies eventually caught up with me, and slashed me up. I woke up.... awwwww


The second dream I can't remember so well. However I remember how I got lucid. I was walking up some appartement stairs, and couldn't find the flat I was looking for. I randomly became lucid, since I knew I could just open a random door and it would lead me to where I wanted to go. I opened the door closest to me, and entered. I started feeling my real body, in my bed. I tried forcing a false awakening (I have had good experiences with forcing a false awakening when the lucid dream becomes unstable). However I just woke up.. my body felt heavy and it felt unreal. However I didn't bother RC..... was this really not a false awakening.. hmmmmm

Created Wednesday 31 October 2018

Got fragments today, which includes a short DILD.

Scrap Group 1
Another Seinfeld dream?

Riding around an elementary school bus, of all things. Someone's giving a lecture on patience and leadership. I step out, and accompany an unknown young black girl to her class. She complained about the lesson, but I assured her it would be useful in time. The moment I entered her class, I suddenly became aware. I claimed I was late for a meeting. The girl insisted that she'd give me a ride there, but I declined; after all, how could she even manage such? I was making my way out of an office, when these young punks insulted me. I ignored them, and blurted something about their comedy needing work. The dream collapsed shortly after.

At home. Out in the driveway, mom almost unwittingly ran over my niece. I scold ma for her carelessness. But, she didn't seem all that concerned, much to my outrage.

Frag - stadium
Frag - HS friends (seth)
L chain - TAZ:BoB I'm fred/freddie (wrote this down in imaginary DJ along w pictures of windows)
over the course of 5-8 lds in a chain, i meet group of people in a smallow yellowish office with windows and curtains overlooking an orange/yellow sky, we talked about something serious (a conspiracy, a plot for revolution, a threat facing the world?), then woke. the next time i got lucid i was back but they were all about 50 years older, we talked about similar things and they told me i could join their org, wake. next lucid they're touring me around the facilities, in another i was in a large hallway talking to someone. i think i had a few groundhog day loops of some scenes, but i remember getting lucid every loop. a lot happened but in the end half of the org turned against me and half of them were woth me and we fought in a huge bluish grey sanctuary and eventually i extracted the relic (crystal circle/bracelet in a large wooden box with holes - can't look at it! will go into more detail on this dream later.
Frag - sex - part of LC?
L - walking in darkish (dim red sky) city, reach junk pile and start to fly, flying feels very fake , like I'm laying my body outstretched and the scene is just moving past me, so i flip over on my back flying and admire the beautiful view above me - the wooden slats coming apart and the junk in this under-bridge area and some train tracks - this gave me a literal and figurative perspective change - LDing is not always about doing things perfectly or achieving goals, but usually the best dreams, lucid or not, are when something amazing or simple but different is happening and you're a part of it, and it inspires childlike wonder in you
NL - i drew a pretty good (not amazing but probably better than i can do iwl - for some reason I'm a great artist in dreams) picture of a wizard/sorceress girl and was adjusting the mouth and coloring (f was there possibly?)
Frag - sneaking suspicion i had a dream about 9 backyard and enjoying the sunlight
NL - FA in wl 8 room, looking at videos on phone, get up several times in a groundhog day-like loop, look at myself in mirror (my torso looked ripped, but somewhat sagging?), i go downstairs (it's now 9) and consider going out the front door to talk to a dc (was semilucid but not fully there) but decide instead to sunbathe in the backyard, when i reach the kitchen i call out "who's there?" and my dad comes through a door that doesn't exist in his signature windbreaker and we talk for a second, wake up

Created Saturday 27 October 2018

Only got some minor things today. There's a lot of other dreams I've forgotten, one of which I suspected was an LD...

Scrap Group 1
Playing TF2 as the Demoman. I repeatedly tried to blow up a sentry nest, with no luck. Even once I did clear it, I left myself exposed. This prompted unfriendly responses from my own team.

Walking around town, I think? Warp. I was taking a shower in the large bathroom. I glance to the mirror, when I see my face suddenly blurring up. But, it was some unrelated thoughts of how I got there triggered lucidity. Donned only boxers, I float cross-legged towards the mirror. I then phased through it into a blurred void. Things collapsed shortly after.

nl - in a college math classroom with a smart (or dumb but hardworking) guy who the teacher pointed out was doing double problems because he didn't have a partner (he had a sort of greasy notebook)
blue square experimental water (diving?) mask is forced on me, stressof not being able to get it off, finally manage to get it off but pretend it's still on, somehow gets transformed into shark mask (i remember thinking this was cheap)
younger rita(from dexter)/mazella(old teacher) at pool, I'm using the shark version of the mask

I'm in the woods, the trees all have a strange peely white bark, I'm throwing a black handled screwdriver from WL into the trunks (it sinks in nicely each time), I'm hiding out from some pursuers? i have to squeeze under some very low branches (intense fear) and then take a path through houses that is 100% deja vu (dont think i journaled it but I've been here before), at one pt took an alternative path, became lucid, just went w the flow, 1234 in big serif letters like an address, white building, in the past i went into the workshop w wood floors and walls, this time i bypassed and went into a white sunlit room with a small tv, realized i was losing dream and counted but it was too late, had brief fa where i could tell it was transp. eyelids effect amd not real, was making patterns on the pillow with mind

Created Wednesday 24 October 2018

Got two LD loops and a fragment or two.

Scrap Group 1
Watching some action/horror movie.

Dream 1 - Pinch and Tickle Gag

Scene 1 - A Goku vs. Piccolo Fight
The visuals were a bit blurred. Spectator mode.This took place i n the main lobby of a condo complex. Goku and Piccolo from Dragon Ball Z suddenly appeared, both cartoony figures contrasting the environment. The two were locked in high-speed fisticuffs. At times, I took control of Goku's movements, at times in first person, and at others in third-person. No matter the perspective, I could otherwise feel and hear from his point of view. Either way, neither fighters had the upper hand over the other.

Various forgotten transitions before the one below.

Scene 2 - She's Got My Eye! Well, More or Less...
The visuals were very dim. False awakening in bed. I quickly got aware. I called out to my guide, E. Almost immediately, I sensed her forming behind me. I turn to look at her, when she suddenly gouges her index finger through my left lower eyelid. After pinching between my cheek and said eyelid, my guide tried pulling me towards her. Gotta say, that stung like hell! I calmly asked her to let go, but she merely laughed this off.

Various transitions. There were at least two repeats of this scene. Several unknown transitions, where I'd lost lucidity, until getting to below.

Scene 3 - Mobile Destabilization
The visuals were blurred. I falsely awaken in the floor of the small upstairs bathroom. After thinking over how I'd even get there, I slowly figured the dream. I run out to the hallway, faint sunlight providing illumination, and continued all the way downstairs. Things were destabilizing. So, I started rubbing my hands, and when that didn't work, I spun around. But, neither of these actions helped. Warp. Transition.

Scene 4 - Tickle Submission Hold
The visuals were very dim. I was back in bed. Still aware. Once again, I called out to my guide. But, before she could try any funny business, I grabbed her bare foot, then got my revenge by tickling her. Giggling to the point of helplessness, she finally relented. I pondered in silence for a moment before speaking.

"What the heck?", I pressed of her. "Why'd ya do that whole eye-pinching thing?"

E shrugged. "Well, I got your attention, didn't I?"

"Fair enough, I guess..."

There were more pertinent things in mind, but unfortunately, a bunch of other random thoughts drowned those out. Of these were for me and her to, of all things, vocally imitate scenes from random media. Can't even recall what they were. After that were more, uh, base desires. A... warm moment occurred. Afterwards, the dream collapsed.

Scrap Group 2
At home. Various family members were around. So too was E, who appeared only in bed clothes. We talked about the above dream.

Dream 2 - Cobalt Banshee

Scene 1 - Escape the Banshee!
The visuals were quite blurred. I was upstairs watching TV in the master bedroom. Various other family members were also around.

Just then, a ghost appeared out of nowhere, her hair white, skin cobalt blue and with a darker tinted frilled dress to match. Scowl aside, she looked rather comely. Given her sorrowful and angered wailing, she was certainly a banshee. The phantom darted from person to person, screaming into their ears until they'd lost consciousness, or worse. Unsuited to this whole terror, the Overworld Theme from Super Mario Land was sounding loudly in the background.

I wised up to the dream, but was no less frightened. So, I rushed downstairs to the living room, where I conjured E once again.

"What's wrong", she asked blasely?

I pointed towards the stairs. "Heads up. We've got company."

I took a defensive stance, waiting for the ghost to appear. But after a minute, it seemed she simply left. Did it flee, I wondered?

Transition.

Scene 2 - Beware the Banshee!
Similar visuals. Repeat of the above. But, when I got to the living room, I found that the banshee was already waiting for me. In an instant, she took grasp of me, and cried her horrid wail. Warp. Transition.

Scene 3 - An Understanding...?
The visuals were dim. I was in bed. More pertinently, the banshee was still holding me down. Before she yelled again, I spoke, asking her for reprieve. Gently stroking her face, I got into an entire monologue about peace and forgiveness and all that jazz. It looked as if she'd calmed down, and was perhaps even mesmerized by my words. We had a silent moment of understanding... only for her to suddenly blare out yet again. I was shocked out of the dream.

3 more lds tonight! I'll try to come back in November and update the gaps and maybe flesh out some of these bullet point-like dreams.

nl - in a supermarket, long and vivid
lucid - in a greyish room, see a section with chairs (seems like a public place), become lucid and expect f in one of those chairs, see her but she's spaced out, try to kiss her but she is almost catatonic
lucid - in walmart in the last aisle before the garden center, laying out some yugioh cards on a table (they're not real and I can tell) and I'm trying to sell them to a worker who doesn't seem very interested, I'm surprised as I go how weak they are for looking so cool, become lucid turn the corner and see an elderly woman, try to transform her and wake up
nl - f is leaving for the morning and she's forgotten her phone and badge, I run downstairs and am trying to decide whether to try and go to her place of work to bring her her stuff or wait here since she might come back, go downstairs in my apartment and there's a heavy industrial door, see her coming in, wake up
nl - series of fa's
lucid - in 9 living room, it's dark, I try to turn up the thermostat knob (similar to old light switch we used to have iwl) to turn the lights up, eventually just say "lights on!" and it helps (still dim), try to summon f but end up just summoning an invisible presence, try to verify its presence by having it interact with me by having it whip me (don't question dream logic), it works (like a light electric shock where I expected it to whip), wake up

Earlier yesterday I took a nap. I became aware that I was dreaming but I wasn't really in control. The scene in front of my was flickering. It turned into this weird structure like the one from Interstellar with the bookcases but instead of bookcases it was the blue sky and the clouds. It looked like the same sort of image or block of space was going off in a bunch of different directions around me. I felt very high but the dream collapsed.

I haven't had a nightmare that freaked me out in a long time until this morning. The dream was back at my house from when I was a kid and my parents were still married. There were things that happened earlier in the dream, but I started to remember when I was inside what looked like our garage. My father was narrating the dream. He was telling me about something that had happened in my past, something dark. I was myself now but watching my child self playing in the garage. There were these white strings that had bounced on the ground and were attached to something away from my view. My dad was explaining that I had discovered something, or something evil had discovered me. As he explains it, the object attached to the strings comes into view as my child self picks it up. I don't know the significance of it but it's this bell that looks similar to the liberty bell with a crack in it and a piece missing but it's small enough to hold in my hands. My child self becomes extremely terrified. I can hear my dad's voice get bitter. I'm freaking out now. The story is that two spirits took me that day up into the sky for hundreds of years. One spirit is a dead woman dressed in a gown whose colors are negative. I couldn't see the other spirit, but something was telling me the spirit I couldn't see was much powerful than the woman spirit and was controlling the entire situation. They took me up into the sky where there was an old floating house. It was weird because I could vaguely remember that I had been there before. My dad was so distraught telling me they took me up there for hundreds of years but for them it only lasted a blink of a second. I was just finding all of this out now.

I woke up in a false awakening in my dad's old house. I ran to the door with my mom on the phone, I was asking her if it was real. She couldn't answer which told me it had been real. The door was locked and I was frantically trying to open it because I could feel the spirit behind me. I burst through and ran downstairs to see my dad in the kitchen. I walked over to him crying and wrapped my arms around him.

I woke up in another false awakening, this time in my current room. Because my closet door was open, it made a tall giant dark figure in the corner of my eye. I was in sleep paralysis. At first, the shadow wasn't doing anything, but then I thought it might move and it became evil. The thing just flew at my face and was hovering there. I was stuck in a flinch terrified. This lasted a few moments before the evil thing made a lunge at my face and I woke up this time for real.

Eventually, I went back to bed and had this dream that Donald Trump was about to do something entertaining yet destructive to the entire world, like a giant show that would lead to some sort of bad thing happening. I was with another person, I think maybe my mom, living this story of two agents who were going to stop Trump. I had been caught by a secret agent who brought me into a room. Trump ordered me to get beat up or something. The agent had taken off his belt and had hit me and was planning to kill me. Trump all of the sudden flew at the agent and knocked him out. Turns out Trump was my mom in disguise. We get out of that room and sort of ninja jump over a pond away from bad guys.

I'm now in this pool surrounded by buildings with a few of my friends from college including lauren and there were a few kids I didn't recognize. Someone whispers for me to flip over a floating device she's on but she gets off. Moo tells us there's not a lot of time left for us to stop Trump and the only way to get there is through this amusement park. He tells us to jump on this roller coaster on the second to back left seat because there is this really strange robot that sits in the seat with you or something. Moo Owen and I jump into the station and get into the carts before other people can. They just seem to let it happen and get back in line. Most of us are in the back cart. I look up and see Moo's on the other side of the train next to this cowgirl robot and I realize that's where we were supposed to get in. The ride starts and we hang on. It starts to go up a hill as I ask Owen when we should be getting off. Moo yells that we need to get off at the next slow part. The train takes a few turns and then starts going up another hill. We jump onto another rollercoaster track which is made of what looks and feels like brushes for shoes or maybe horses. I'm struggling to get a grip and finally start gaining some traction. Someone yells that we need to get ready to surf. The rollercoaster takes a dip downwards and we start standing up surfing on this rollercoaster down a hill. In front of us is this wide alley with buildings on both sides that contain rides and rollercoasters coming out of the buildings. The idea is that we need to jump from ride to ride in order to get through and stop Trump's plan. The dream collapses.

Created Friday 12 October 2018

Quite a bit to note. Unfortunately, tension made it difficult to retain details.

Scrap Group 1
Doing some kind of GTA type burglary job with an unknown partner. Our mark was in some rundown apartment room. We didn't even bother with subtlety, merely breaking in while the owners (a couple heavily into gang culture, but obviously not part of one themselves) were still around. We did, however, have access to cloaking devices. I searched the place while my partner cowed the owners into giving valuables, but we could find nothing of interest. Later, I almost strangled the woman there to death to keep her from doing something. Cut to us driving around urban streets in a trashy old sedan. While cutting through a park, we get trapped in a wide road barricade. Soon, a police cruiser cut us off, and we were arrested immediately. A display indicated that a lot of loot from previous runs were confiscated, though only those that implicated us to those thefts.

Walking around a lakeside park at night. I hear and sing a song from the 70's 'The Hobbit' movie.

In a trading pavilion in the old west. Merchants from the Middle East somehow made it all the way there. I talk to a Moorish trader, who'd mistaken me for an Arab. I did claim to partially speak the language (I don't). He, for forgotten reasons, compares my skin color to that of a painting of a clay building and statue.

Many false awakenings in a hotel room. I get aware in one of them, where I flied around briefly, but couldn't get past a balcony.

Watching some cartoon. Terry Bogard from Fatal Fury asks a swole mercenary for help, but is refused. Cut. I'm walking down the poorly lit spiral staircase of a narrow medieval tower. I'm carrying around my niece over my shoulders. At a lower level, we cross MCU Thanos, who was in a heated argument with some other fictional character. The two then get into a brawl. I rushed my niece downstairs as fast as I could.

Oct 4 2018

Forgot abt. 3 which initly remembered, one was funny
Awoke 4:24
Walmart dream, with family (mine?) and little kids (cousins?), I'm searching for a wooden dowel/rod/block combo to hang something (for some reason can't just nail it to wall), looking on wrong aisle. Find right section and there are dowels with multi-colored clipboard rubber clamps, talk to fake dad
Buying stuff for the weekend, then not because ere are dowels with realized F not working
Crawling on ground, I'm avoidant then aggressive towards bees, crawl through G and other (they're talking - init'ly paid attention to what about)
Crawl & stand up, slight but fluid transition, in strip mall entrance w 30ish people, enter (door holding) they're nerdy, it's like a fitness center, black circle yoga/D&D combo - oh no, I forgot my socks! See Coran and L.L., talk about band & scars & fb, laughing
FA/TrEy., Carving into dresser, R.H. - didn't feel dreamlike, mote like vivid interactive visualization

Created Wednesday 03 October 2018

Got a decent LD to note (finally), along with some fragments.

Scrap Group 1
On a random (text-only) Discord channel. A woman geneticist complained about her domestic life, especially when it came to not having any children of her own. She admitted being so distraught by this, that she'd cloned her dead father, then adopted him. A major scandal ensued.

Watching Adventure Time with my nephew. Princess Bubblegum had illegitimately acquired a magical artifact. This made her the target of a bipedal cat. Finn and Jake arrived to her aid. Chase sequence in a small room. As this occurred, a suspicious wolf detective was observing their moves while sipping tea. The cat gets captured, upon which Finn and co. relieve a small red journal from its person. The wolf finally confronted the group, demanding they hand over the booklet. Suddenly, the journal vanished.

"Semi-lucid" (wasn't aware, but I unconsciously knew I was dreaming) in the void. I prance about in the darkness.

Dream 1 - Pit Descent, Cloud Ascent

Scene 1 - Down The Large Well
WILD transition straight to the void. Like above, I take a moment to celebrate before I actually compose myself. After flying around for a bit, I find a sizable round cobblestone enclosure, a deep pit in its center. Kinda like an old well, but much larger. Also, I noticed my wearing the clothes I had on in Monday afternoon. Anyway, I fell down the hole, and waited out a transition, rubbing my hands for good measure.

Scene 2 - Broom Ride Cloud Loop
The visuals were a bit dim. I was floating over a mountainous badlands, a soft yellow dusk sky above. Spent a good minute sightseeing, when a dust storm approached from the east. So, I plowed right through.

When the weather cleared, I found myself flying over a lifeless desert, pyramid in view ahead, and thick clouds covering much of the twilight sky. I dash up into a nimbus, which then reminded me of the like TOTM. I glanced down, and, as expected, found myself seated cross-legged on an old straw broom. Onwards I went, before finally getting to clear sky.

Things looked a bit brighter. There didn't seem to be much else, just clouds below, and silver blue skies in the horizon. I looked up, only to find another set of clouds about a mile above. So, I charged through that as well, but, found myself arriving at a similar place. I took off once more, only now, I had a lot of trouble breathing through the clouds' heavy vapors. Things destabilized. I could barely make it to the top, when the dream collapsed.

Scrap Group 2
False awakening in an unknown home. I was late for school (not a concern nowadays), so I skipped showering. Cut to the school's courtyard. I'm flying around, racing to the cafeteria in hopes of making it in time for breakfast.

Sep 30 2018

(3 dreams, 2 lucids)

pre-star wars interstate/table in front yard, F's car - why are the keys on a table in the front yard? they can be stolen! have to get her car back, getting angry

lucid/semi-lucid star wars dream* (badass)

wbtb (lasted for 3 hours)

lucid with D and 8, and roach antenae then hopping away like a deer, short, got lucid halfway through

space station dream getting a delivery, we were running out, boss says forget about the reeses puffs and then they give us twice the delivery (everyone mad "we could have been getting twice this whole time? we didn't even get any reeses puffs") and guards and cutting ribbon lines (dad, w/ gun or broom) and other stuff (transformed into noir music video at end); remember the black slats on the divider vividly, and the floor; like an arcade! vivid, long

lots of HI and feeling for dream scene, but no successful WILDs
feeling for a white tennis shoe
feeling for a white metal corner with slats on it

*Star Wars dream:
I'm in the office of 9. My best friend (A) and his previous long-time girlfriend (T) are there. There's also another girl from the previous dream who has orange hair (we'll call her O; I had a feeling she might have been a manifestation of my guide). A has a hooked nose unlike in real life, and he's standing next to the bookcase in the far left corner comforting T. O is sitting in a chair looking at me. It's a persecution-style dream, someone is going to eradicate us. I think I had to kill someone in the office, someone was a traitor. I become lucid but decide that instead of pursuing goals I'll let the dream take me wherever it was intending to go. I have a lightsaber and there was someone else there (my dad or F?) who had one, so I offered the group mine thinking that the other person and I could take them with just one lightsaber. They declined and I decided against it anyway, I would need it. So instead I give them a purplish greenish small box of parts to make their own. The dream shifts and I'm in the front yard in the passenger seat of the van. My sister and F are across the street selling pumpkins (as a disguise/to make it seem normal that we're there and that we have nothing to hide). They need to close up so we can go. In the car with me is O, and my dad and possibly mom are near the car. [I say something to someone.] Sister brings me a pumpkin in F's WL purse, it's ripping, I tell them to stop messing around, there's danger. Eventually the scene transitions and the pumpkin stand disappears, it's darker outside, I can tell Sith are coming. I think I told the van to drive away but I can't remember now.

I walk to the curb and it's much darker like a storm's coming, dust blows by me dramatically and I see two white Hutts at the very end of the street. I remember now that I had told them in the van not to fire their blasters unless they had to, because if they did the others would know where they were. For this reason I don't draw my lightsaber yet (it's probably about 6 houses until the end of the street so I have some distance to cross). When I reach about halfway I notice three more Sith, they looked like Tuscan raiders. Unexpectedly one of the Hutts charged me! It was much faster than I expected because instead of slithering towards me it floated/levitated towards me at an alarming rate. It also held its red lightsaber in a fully forward way, arms up and forward at the chest. It was very intimidating. It also had force lightning. By this point, I had succumbed to the dream's validity to the point where I was still lucid in awareness, but it was more like an elevated state of consciousness and control of my own actions, not control of the dream. In any case I didn't think to use dream powers but was limited to the constraints of the universe, so because I had a blue lightsaber, I only had force push, and becuase they had red, they also had force lightning. So essentially we would circle around each other while facing each other, him sending lightning at me and me pushing or lightsabering it away. This was very intense and I was still only facing one of them. Once I had sen that the van was gone, I decided to flee as I couldn't face them all. I think I may have killed one of the Tuscan raiders first? I ran to a kid's bicycle and as I boarded it, one of the raiders had come up behind me on a Star Wars bike. I used the force to lift the bike up and start flying. The raider and I get into a contest of side-swiping and I dismount him. I have to pull up because there's a white fence/gate at the end of my street.

Now the sky had gone from storm-blue with dust in it to full-on apocalypse brown. I was flying past twisted trees and power lines, turning sideways to dodge them. At some point the dream faded.

Most of these dreams came from day residue; the SW part came from listening to an episode of MBMBAM discussing naming a kid Anakin; we recently got a new end table by our front door where we leave our everyday carried items, and it's next to a window with blinds so I recently thought "what if they can see through those?"; the arcade-themed space station was due to seeing a Dave and Busters-themed scene in the show F was watching (I think Once Upon a Time). Anyway the lightsaber fighting was badass, even though it wasn't as conscious as it could have been; but it probably would have been much shorter if I had been fully lucid the whole time, so I'm in part glad that the dream and the threats it posed felt 100% real.

Interesting note: At the end of the SW dream, I was in an FA with the layout of my room being slightly different and although my eyes were closed, I could see a thin strip of light in front of me (in reality, this would have been to the right of me). I sat recalling my dreams and had a brief visualization/WILD attempt within the FA! Then I woke up. For some reason I wrote in my DJ that it's possible I had the SW dream stemming from visualizations during my FA? Interesting but I don't remember about the FA to say for sure now.

Sep 29 2018

Background - i didn't get nearly enough sleep during the week (b/t 5 and 6.5 hours a night) so i haven't had lucids since last sunday and have only been remembering 1-2 dreams a night on avg. so maybe this was sort of an extended REM rebound effect? i didn't sit down to meditate (although at many points i made myself hyper-aware) or visit the bathhouse, but anyway i remembered to do math in most of my lucids, got to talk to my dream guide (or it felt like it), and got my subconscious to play music. p. cool night!

3 NLs - before waking at 5:30 (went to sleep 11:45) (fortunately i wrote all of these down)
* in 9, my parents are talking to "Mr Jeff" in the front porch, talking about walking sticks as "staves", they examine one i found in the forest when we went to the cabin at the beginning of august
* in 8, seeing an older woman out of the apartment who had just helped F and I with something or was maybe just visiting. she has the body of a younger person but has surface-level wrinkles, almost like they're a painted-on texture with no depth (they're white) and I think she even had black hair. but her skin also looks quite dry. she reminded me of one of my neighbors who walks two dogs
* in 512 (grandpa's house) with F and my dad. F and I are sitting at the dining table across from each other, dad is to the right. i have tea and she has water, my dad asks for some of my soft drink because there's some rule that anytime i have soft drinks he gets a portion (he used to do this IRL too ;_ but i tell him i'm drinking tea and that i don't (or barely) drink soft drinks anymore, he points out a detailed list of times i've had soft drinks over the last year. i'm eating a wrap and unexpectedly i see a splotch of guacamole getting pushed out of the top like a tube of toothpaste, i lick it so it doesn't fall and i can vividly remember the taste - it was spot-on. really good guac!

LD 1 - WILD after WBTB - after lots of HI coming close to successful WILD, finally it's sort of like an FA, in bed, can see light coming through curtain, sit up and move curtain (feel body shift into dream body). It's light out, I look around, look at body and try to transform, wake up. go back to sleep pretty quickly after that

LD chain 2 - WILD, DEILDs, and DILDs - too many so I'll only write summaries - didn't write all of these down because after finally waking from the chain I just dove right in to the second chain
* walking outside in area between 9 and neighbor's house, asked subconscious for music to play, got some symphonic. it came and went, but as it faded I would conduct it with my hands and it would get louder. after a bit the music changed to a medium tempo pop instrumental and I conducted it as well. I was focusing on the sight/sound/touch sensations involving the wood fence, white lattice, the foliage, grass, swingset, etc. very vivid
* converted FA in 8 bedroom, summoning big cuddly dogs (F's grandma has a big dog so whenever we go over there like we did yesterday, I cuddle with it); in the dream they're very warm, i'm starting to feel temperature more in dreams whereas before with touch i would only feel pressure; one of my goals is to actually feel the bones inside my hands and the muscle contractions
* something with F in 9, can't remember details now...
* morning daylight scene, approach white service van and enter, there's a moldy (not really decomposed but with a green patina almost?) girl in the back sort of under the carpet (skin sort of the texture of the under-carpet material in floor boards) I try to move her head and her fully black eyes open, I kiss her (or do CPR?) and every time I do she blows air at me, weird weird weird wtf
* there were a lot more (i'm getting vague impressions of more FAs and maybe one more outdoor one), they're just lost on me -- i'm giving it time and hopefully i'll catch a few more during the day

LD chain 3 - WILD, DEILDs, and DILDs - too many so I'll only write summaries - had these after a brief wakeup and pee
* met dream guide as pudgy girl (reminds me of an outgoing version of F's little cousin), talked to her about my thoughts and whether she was real. I didn't ask my subconscious for the dream guide, I just saw her and knew -- i asked "are you my DG?" and she said yes, we held hands and walked through a crowded mall and talked for a bit.
* fight/murder in crack, blame - there are two men and a woman, the man and woman are fighting (they're married?) on a second-story floor with long cracks perpindicular to the hallway, so that you can see through to the first story (long fall); the second man walks up and says something to the first man that makes him jump through the crack. the woman is distraught but turns to the second man (her lover?) for comfort. at first i'm a semi-lucid observer but after this i summon my dream guide and he shows up in a doorway behind me as a tall built older man, feel his sides (like obliques) through shirt and they're warm. he says it's the only way he could get to me (like KPAX sort of - why is a soap bubble round) (when I first see him I saw other girls who looked similar but definitely different to the girl DG from before, their eyes were different)
* red curtain in parent's bedroom and transition scene - cool technique where I was looking in a mirror and I summoned a huge red curtain and threw it sort of over and around me and wrapped myself in its suspended self to transition to the next dream, however the next dream was somehow "too small" and so it faded quickly as I couldn't get a grasp on it
* lost a lot of these too... will keep trying to recall

as i lay in bed trying to recall and recount these dreams, i'm perfectly still, when i finally do try to move there's heavy resistence and then a snap! and i awaken, it turns out i had been in a detailed FA the whole time, as a result I lost some of the lucids. before waking I could recall 13 lucids total. not too bummed though as I'm sure I'll have a lot tomorrow night too!

I was at work, taking a nap during my break. I consciously started hallucinating (sitting in a chair). I saw my arm and hands and moved them around. It was my dream body, but I think it looked 'glowy' and ghostly. Then I think I somehow managed to move my real body (no sleep paralysis) and my dream body at the same time, and step 'into my real body' (real hard to explain). It's like in the dream I was a ghost and I 'synched' my ghost form with my body. When this 'merge' happened, I felt a surge of power go through me. Like I was a god or something. Bizarre.