nightmare

7/3/2011
A Minecraft-esque dream. I'm building some kind of fort for a home base. There is a horrible creeper attack. First one blows a hole in the wall by the storeroom. I rush in to fix it, and his buddies creep in and finish me. I respawn and am trying to work back up to what I had. I get a few items back from my death. A brigand npc captures the Vaarsuvius npc (from the Order of the Stick), but I'm not prepared to be able to rescue V. I am adding potato chips to raise walls because it's all I have.

There are planes flying through a tunnel in the mountain with a lava river and lavafall. They are dropping water to turn the lava into sandstone.

J offers to help rescue V. A couple other npcs come too, one being a famous adventurer dressed in tan with a tan hat and white hair and whiskers. We descend into the cave, but the footing is precarious, and there is lava. I tell my mom not to step in that shiny stuff on the step (it'd be better to fall and break a leg than to step in that). She jumps over it, too far, too clumsy, and falls in the lava. That is NOT what I meant. J and I desperately reach in and pull her out. I feel so bad and guilty that it happened that I am even distressed after I wake up. Then I realize it can't have been real lava because it didn't hurt to reach in.

I didn't want to remember this one.

Before I went to bed I made some joking comments on an internet forum that I frequent. I had this dream afterwards:

I am on the forum and necieve a notification that someone has responded to the comments I made earlier. I go to the thread and find that people didn't find my comments funny and are attacking me and putting me down. I reply and point out that these comments were made in the Off-Topic forum and were not meant to be taken seriously. A few people reply angrily and someone says that they have reported me to a Moderator. The moderator replies to the thread and tells everyone to calm the fuck down and stop taking my joking comments so seriously. Then the Moderator bans me anyway, which upsets me, because I have a lot of online friends on that forum and the thought of not being able to interact with them anymore causes me distress.

I think this dream is a reflection of the anxieties I often have of being criticised and abandoned.

DREAM 1: I was in the living room with my sister. As she got married and left home, we were talking about our lives and stuff like this. [Here I dreamed something about Lois from Family Guy having sex with me while my sis was changing in the closet, but I don't quite remember it.]. After she left the house, the lights suddenly turned off. I heard some shamanic beats and started seeing shadows on the wall. It got even weirder when I tried to change the volume, but instead of a Volume text with lines below indicating how loud the TV is currently set, it showed me a red WTF? text underlined. I tried to call my mom and tell her about the lights as I was getting out of the house trying to figure out what the heck is happening in my house. I was so freaked out that I suddenly did an RC. When I saw I was actually dreaming, I threw my phone away and rushed to jump on the window. I didn't wanted to just fall down, as things like this destabilizes my dream. I focused on hovering in slow-mo to the ground. After I came down, there came my buddy with his girlfriend. Of course, after having sex with his girlfriend (What? It's a dream. Having sex with someone's girlfriend is normal there) I took the bus forward and backward. I thought that maybe if I go for a walk, the "evil spirits" of the house will go away. I came back and guess what? I saw a waitress in the kitchen and had a fight with her. She was throwing fruits at me, so I took a plate and used it as a shield. After one fruit crashed into her head, she got dizzy. I exploited this moment to throw her away on the window. The lights turned on and I lost my lucidity. I went into the living room and I saw some Dream Guides. They started showing me how to make a book slap in a dream to make the monsters go away. After a long explanation, they put me look on a text. It was written there "Beautiful book". They put me look again. I didn't understand why, but I did it. The adjective changed to "Bad". They put me look once again. It changed again to "Horrible". I then realised that they were trying to show me I dream. When I got that, they were proudly smiling at me.
DREAM 2: I and the peers from the high-school were visiting my elementary school. My old classroom was turned into a Chemical Laboratory. I showed them the classroom and I remembered that on 8th grade they put our class at basement. [I remember somebody was telling me to shut up and that I'm lying and something about my mom calling me and asking me if I want a shawarma. Nothing more]
DREAM 3: My mom gave me as a present the Dream Reader device (from the "Dream Reader" dream). I put it on my head and it started showing a skeleton. It was not only reading dreams. When I was thinking of something, it would put all my thoughts in the skull. Like, I was thinking of a truck and it was right there. While it was reading my thoughts, memories and dreams, I felt dizzy.

13.11.2011

Specks of Light (DILD)

★★★☆☆

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Constant tracing.

Stuck between infinitely constraining parameters.

This is my dream.

Again.

And again.

And again I trace, searching for a way out, a way to break free, but there is none. I'm confined within myself, and I WON'T FUCKING HAVE IT!

I call death upon my constraints, little points of light, wiped out of existence, one by one until only a void remains in my rampage. But soon it's filled, as millions upon millions of shimmering lights are drawn around me.

I could do it; wipe them all out in a single swipe. . . but what are they? Why did wiping those other specks tear at me the way it did?

I'll stop. . .

For now.

Not such great recall last night, not much time to write about it, either

1) I was in a dystopia where the people weren't zombies, but pretty quickly became the living equivalent. I was lost and unable to make it to work or anything that I'd normally do in a day. At last I reality checked and became lucid, but I had so many false memories and such a bad environment that I didn't even attempt to simply recover the dream and turn it into something good. Instead I went inside a house, climbed up to the highest window, stepped out on the ledge, and then used my mind to shut the window on my heels, thus knocking me off to my death below, and effectively waking me up.

At least I can mark another LD on my sig from that!

Last night I had exceptionally better dream recall than before, for numerous reasons. I was not drunk and high when i went to bed... I went to bed around 12:30 and i drank apple juice 2-3 hours before bed. I also woke up 4 hours into my sleep for the WBTB technique.

1
I started out my dream lucid but i quickly lost it without doing any dream control into the dream because i could not do anything without almost waking up due to the excitement. I soon forgot I was in a dream, but this is good progress. I woke up in denver and I was in what seemed like a medieval village except i knew i was in denver colorado. I soon saw my family and at one part of the dream we were in what seemed like a big beach store with staircases all over the place. I kept telling my mom i needed to either start driving or take a plane home tonight because i had work at 11:30 tomorrow. I dont remember much else from this dream

2
This might be a continuation of the previous dream or another dream altogether, but i was still worried about getting to work at 11:30. I was with my dad and we were driving to his house, and there was a long drive and i dont remember much of what happened but we got to this nature place and started to walk along this path, which in the dream world you take this long path through the woods to get to my dads house, no path in real life. Then we decided to drive somewhere else because my dad can not walk that far and got to this random house, which i faintly remember was my old friends house. But then we decided to leave to my dads beach house (this is how i know im dreaming a lot of times in my dreams my dad has a beach house, he doesn't have a beach house in real life) but I did not realize i was in a dream. I woke up shortly after this.

[COLOR="red"]Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="blue"]Dream[/COLOR]
[COLOR="silver"]Thoughts[/COLOR]
[COLOR="lightblue"]Hypnagogic[/COLOR]

[COLOR="blue"]I dreamt that I were in a skyskrape and in some way I realised that I was dreaming. I wasn't completely sure, but my awareness felt different so I took a chance. I was working for a booring boss, so I opened a window and told him to watch, then I ran against it and jumped out and I flew![/COLOR] [COLOR="red"]I became lucid and the clearity was incredible and, well let's just say that I was relieved that I was dreaming. Then my biggest lucidity enemy appeared - a hot girl... I thought to myself and also told her to get away. But I couldn't control it. I imagined just for a small second what I was able to do with her, and I was teleported to that thought and I lost my lucidity. [/COLOR]

[COLOR="blue"]I also had nightmare! Wohoo first in very many years. But it wasn't fun to experience it though.
I was sitting with my family and eating dinner, when suddenly a man crush our window and step in, my parents ran, but I thought that if he i in our kitchen he can grab a knife and I can't let that happen. But it was too late...
He chased my mom and he was about to kill her when I grabbed one of the small knifes and pointed it in his back and said "Stop right there, let her go!" He did as I said, my mom got away, but he grabbed my arm and took my knife and pointed both of them to my throat. I managed to run, but now he was chasing me, eventually het got me, but I grabbed is arm and pointed the knife to him and this time I didn't hesitated. I stabbed him it was selfdefence I thought.
To big cuts in his stomach and I was still holding the knife. I told my dad to call the police.
I was in shock, and suddenly the man pulls out his knife and he stab me in the chest.
I feel a sensation of dizziness, and then I faint.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]Which means that i woke up .. puh[/COLOR]

The beginning of the dream (or as far as I could remember) had me trying to play The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, of all things, though my father informed me that someone hacked every copy of the game had cutscenes replaced with a video of a man hanging himself. Curious, though nervous as well, I proceeded to play the game, and not long after, the video began. At the very beginning of the video, it showed a sort of hook, holding the separate head that dangled and twirled on the hook. As if it was not disturbing enough, it had emotion and life in it. It looked scared, and pale, but it was breathing hard as if it was still attached to the rest of it's body. It was hard to tell if it was male or female. It had a unique facial structure, which in the dream I assumed was male, though now I am not so sure, though had long and greasy brown hair that stayed still with all the motion. Not long after, it cut to a different scene, where a man, who's face I can't remember now, was talking some sort of rebellious words. He was quite skinny, and wore a very bright-white tanktop with baggy camo pants. I forget what he was saying, but it was a young, rebellious voice. Once that was over, it moved to a scene where it showed the camera from the inside of the entrance of a barn, but a man in a pitch black rabbit outfit began walking forward and forward, very slowly and ruggedly, but still continued on. Soon enough, he was right in front of me, and that is where I first woke up at about 3:00 am.

I eventually got back to sleep, and this dream had a much more happier tone to start off with. It was a sort of party or something by a large warehouse. I don't remember what it was about, and a lot of it is fuzzy, but I do remember that I was with a small girl and a muscular man, which I do remember we looked at a shack that had appeared in my dreams before. The shack stood by my school, and it sold ice cream. We reminisced on the good times we had there, and it really was a good feeling. Other than that, they and I were both worrying about making a sort of deadline, for what? I don't remember. Some time later, I guess zombies invaded the area around us. It wasn't much, but there were enough. I found a pistol somewhere in the warehouse, and took it. I began shooting them in the head, and come to think of it, I am quite surprised how well I did with a gun, how skilled I was. Soon enough though, they broke in the door, and I tried to repair it, but they got to me, two began attacking me before I escaped from their grasp, which is when a horde bursted in. I ran around, looking for something that would heal me, which is when I noticed that the cast of Scooby-Doo (don't ask why...) were fighting along with me. Here's the weird part, Shaggy began to try and compete with me to get a shot which would heal me, and when I grabbed the shot, the dream ended.

What could all of that mean?

I dreamed that my two brothers, my father, myself (at a younger age then I am now) and a few other men I do not recognize were by the sea side somewhere warm. There were no roads but narrow chanels for small boats and canoes to navigate.

My dad tells me and one of my brothers that he and the other men are going a head in another boat and leave me and R in the first boat. R makes me sit in the back ignores my complains that the back of the boat is sinking. I was arguing with him to let me sit up front but he ignored me and soon i'm up to my waist in water. My father and my other brother came along in another boat and got into ours. All the older and heavier men were sitting at the front of the boat, yet is was only sinking and below water at the back where I was sitting.

After complaining and whining I finally convinced my father to let me switch places with them and they all went into the back and I went into the font. The back of the boat suddenly became boyant and the front of the boat sank and I could not lift it above the waterline to help steer. I remember feeling angry and frustrated and sick of it all, like I expected this to happen all the time and I was tired of it.

Eventually I found a small boat of my own and got out of my father's and brother's boat and tried to make my way through the maze of channels on my own. My both didn't sink this time, but I had no control and would often get pushed backwards by incoming waves or the tide. Even though I couldn't really go anywhere, I was happier in my own boat for some reason. I remember at the end of the dream missing my mom and wondering where she was, and being upset that I could not get to her because I had no control over my own little boat.

Last nights dream

I am at a house and i'm with a female friend ((not a real life friend, just a dream character friend)) We are stopping and sleeping at this house for some reason. This house resembles mine in parts but only a little. Someone told us to stay there but i don't know why. We are both in bed, a double bed, she is on the left side and I am on the right side. I feel myself being moved across the bed away from her, not alot but I am being moved by some unseen "presense", I decide to try and ignore it and move back again. ((dream skip)) I am downstairs and i can still feel this "presence" with me, it's a bad feeling and I don't like it one bit. I open the door which leads to the kitchen, there is a dog inside. As I open the door there is a black bag on the floor next to it, wedging it and stopping me from opening it fully, I can only open it enough so that there is a small gap. I peek inside and the dog is cowering up the corner of the far wall. I shout the dog and it eagerly comes over to me, it's a lovely friendly dog and it's a black collie cross and I think its my dog from when I was a child. I really begin to fear for this poor helpless dog. I tell the dog to go onto it's bed but it wouldn't, instead it went and cowered in the corner again as if it was scared of something. I shut the door and go back upstairs. I felt the "presence" stringer now but i decided to get back into bed and ignore it again. I said something about the "presence" to my friend who was still in bed and she was also scared. I am now lying in bed and again feel this "presence", it's pulling the cover off us again, I pull it back and then the duvet is quickly pulled from us again, O amholding onto it and won't loose it, this "presence" drags it right off the bed and i am being dragged with it. I am in the air still holding onto the cover and i'm being pulled quickly against the wall and i'm heading towards the corner. I feel the corner getting closer and i know that if i get dragged into the corner I will be gone forever ((dream skip)) I am now standing in the bedroom and i scream to my friend "WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE NOW!!!" We both run out of the room and down the stairs, we feel the evil charging after us and i think about the freightened dog and I go to get her. I quickly shove the door open as far as I can and i call her, she is really pleased to see me and hurries over, I pick her up and hold her tight, I head towards the front door and then I wake up

I was in a gas station, being held prisoner in handcuffs and the orange jumpsuit. Inside the gas station were people I work with and the guys who were supposed to be watching over me were friendly. I was looking outside the window and a giant ass falcon flew in and landed on a pallet of 2-liter Pepsi bottles. I just stared at it, and it stared back at me. I walked up to one of the guys that was supposed to be watching me and asked if he could take the cuffs off, he said "yeah, it's not like you'll be going anywhere anyways."

Once the cuffs were off, I somehow got into my normal attire. I walked back to the window and the falcon was still there, like it was waiting for me to come back. Once I did, I stared at it again and just wanted to be outside with it, to touch it, to fly with it, just anything as long as it was with that falcon. It started pecking at the Pepsi bottles, making them spray on the windows. I stepped back a little, but then I started laughing because it was like he was playing a game or showing off for me.

I ran up to one of the guys that was supposed to be watching me again, and said "dude come check this shit out, this falcon is awesome." But the guy told me more or less to piss off since he was talking to a woman. Before I could go back to the falcon, a woman that I work with grabbed my hand and pulled me to her. She whispered in my ear "I can't believe he's talking to her, her breath smells like rotten shit and she has a weird build." I looked to the woman, thinking she looked fine, but to get away from the woman I told her "all us men need is something to stick it in and get off". She frowned and let go of me pretty quickly.

I went back to the falcon and saw that it had somehow filled up a child's swimming pool with the Pepsi and was laying back in it the way a human would sprawl out in one. But the Pepsi had turned white. It scooped the Pepsi up with its wings the way a human would with their hands, and poured the Pepsi on itself starting from the head and let it wash down its body. When the Pepsi hit the birds feathers, it started changing different colors of bright blues, greens, purples and yellows, and as it washed back into the pool, it created a rainbow effect of ripples.

All I knew was that I wanted to escape, but I felt like if I did, I'd be killed or something. So I just stayed, but then country music started playing, and I thought "all right fuck it, death would be fine right about now" and I started to take off for the door. But the same woman that had grabbed me before, grabbed me again and pulled me toward a dance floor that had appeared in the center of the gas station, and I was then thrown into the center of the stage where I bumped into a redneck tranny, or at least a cross dresser since I didn't want to find out, and I was forced to dance with him.

The whole time, I kept looking towards the door, and finally when the song ended, I took off for it, but never made it. I don't know if I was shot, or what, but either way, it was just bright lights and then I woke up.

Last night over my friends house, which is always when my oddest dreams occur. I was in the woods a few blocks from my house it was cold and I remembered feeling the freezing inches of snow beneath my bare feet that dug like needles through my skin. I don't remember specifically who saved me from the huge wolves that were lingering and waiting to hunt, I also don't remember how or when the wolves came in but I was running as my feet grew numb. I was suddenly however on the back of my pink cruiser bike with the girl who saved me, she had brownish red long wavy hair. Then like that we were at a vacant house; all I knew was that we were hidding from the wolves. I remembered the house was beautiful and I was in love with it, there was secret pathways to certain room etc. Suddenly, my sister in law comes, and I stab her with something long and thin... it goes through her jaw but there isn't any blood, just a hole of entry and exit. I do this at least three times, I no longer feel anything but afterward I just remember feeling frozen again and in horror at her face. A wolf gets into the house, and I wake up. I was honestly annoyed I woke up, the house was so enchanting and forbidden in woods that were never traveled, and everything seemed so perfect!

This, was not a pleasant night, due to the dreams it entailed. First off, it began with me, another boy, and a girl, who I did not recognize from my everyday life, but they brought me over to their grandpa's air force base, or something. There was water at the floor of the place, enough to be deep enough to swim in, but there were planes everywhere. The boy went into the plane with his grandfather, along with the girl soon later. He called for any last entrees, and for some reason, I decided not to go in. Soon, I guess a plane was right by me, and I pushed it, which caused it to move in circles in the air. As the occupied plane lifted off from the water, it hit the circling plane, which blew it down to smitherines. Next thing I knew, the place was in disaster. Planes crashing everywhere, fires erupting at corners, explosions, and screaming became the ambiance of the area. It was terrible, and I couldn't help feel for blame for all of it. The three other people I mentioned before had lived, though most everyone else died, but then I woke up.

Next, was a more scarier dream. It had to do with me, my brother, and my mom going to this house that was supposedly haunted. At first, I was reluctant, but I passed the feeling and stepped in. From the moment I walked into the house, I felt a new feeling, a bad one. My mom mentioned something about the house's original owner before he died being Anthony Hopkins, and I only asked "THE Anthony Hopkins?" and she did not reply. Later on, we explored the rooms, one had a flickering TV still on, and somewhere, I picked up a puppy, but as we advanced through the rooms, a feeling kept brushing by me, like a spirit. Soon enough, we all had this feeling that we were now haunted by this thing, so we ran out, or I did at least, with the puppy who was vibrating like crazy. Once I reached my original home, I placed the dog in the backyard, in which the neighbors dog, cat hybrid looking thing came in and tried to eat it. I tried to bargain with it, which actually worked, and then put a plug into the wall, and a forcefeild appeared from the neighbor's home. It was somewhat scary, actually, though what does it mean?

So unfourtunatly i havnt been uploading many journals on here. This is like the second one in a long itme, anyways lately ive been expiernce sleep paralysis. Just about everynight. Usually im so usedd to these i can have fun by imagining things up, BUT lately my thought have been filled with things that keep turning evil on me. Its getting bad. Some of the things i see are like three black figures hanging on my wall, then i managed to turn my head and ened up look at a red fading face in the ceiling. The pressure on my chest started and i was able to breathe.When i woke, i easily fell back to sleep and it happened again and once again i coul notbreath. Ive been dealing with sleep paralysis for a very long time but never untill about two nights ao did i have breathing problems. Anyways my dreams have started turning into nightmares and my thought havnt been going the way i wanted them to. the funny thing is, that right now there is actually NO bad things or NO stress in my life, in fact ive been having some of the best times ive had in a long time. With that being said i do not know why these things are starting to appear in my dreams and i dont know..... ive actually been avoideding sleeping because yes....im actually scared for once.

Notes: Nothing lucid. Also I want to put a notebook under my pillow so I can jot down reminders notes. Getting up, opening my computer, finding and putting on my glasses, getting my eyes to focus, all is too disruptive to my sleep. This time I just lay and thought about the dreams trying to memorize them before I fell asleep which worked OK but I still forgot a few. There were several. I also have pretty epic and adventurous dreams usually, these ones were kind of repetitive, awkward, and when they weren't about killing they were about failing or just boring. :/

Leaving Seamus in the car by the river:
I had Seamus (My cat) with me. I picked him up and put him in the car at some point. I had the van, and he and I were at some kind of river. I think I've dreamt of similar places before. It kind of reminds me of the upper pecos river where we used to swim when I was a kid, but there's houses and stuff along it and it's a little bigger. It's in a wooded pretty lush foresty canyon. High canyon walls make it a little dark. The river is very rocky and fast moving and clear. It's a beautiful place. Somehow I went home and later realized that I had left Seamus in the car but had not brought the car with me. I don't really know where home was in this dream but I went there. It might have been half mile down the river or soemthing. I walked back to the car and found him laying on the back seat, content but I guessed he might be hungry because he had been there all night with no food or water. I don't know why I didn't just drive the first time.

Killing the woman with the dog
This might have beenthe same dream as the math class, I don't know. There was something about having to kill this woman with a dog. She was unconscious and she didn't bleed, but I cut her hands off or something creepy like that. Which made the dog really sad and whine and sniff at her. I felt really bad about the dog but still felt that I should put her out of her misery so I severed her spinal cord with a big knife. Somehow my logic was that the dog would be less unhappy if she was dead than if she was half dead. Ugh. She still didn't bleed. It was like cutting sausage with a bone in it and I felt really horrible about it. She was put in like a toy chest or something. Some kind of big chest that looked like it had toys in it. There seemed to be other people with the same assignment. The dog was a little black dog, maybe a poodle or one of those longhaired terriers. It was really sweet and really sad. Gah no wonder I woke up feeling guilty and horrible. Ugh.

The math class
I was in a math class with a bunch of children. I hadn't been doing my homework. It's a recurring dream theme, sometimes the class is a college class, sometimes high school, this time it was elementary, and of course I had a whole workbook that I hadn't touched and we were about halfway through our semester or something like that. There was a strange desk with kind of a wall thing around the top of it so I had to reach into it to write on it, and to do so I had to stand. Since I was bigger than the kids in the room, being an adult, I wondered how they used this thing. I just grabbed my workbook and tried to use it in front of the desk. I could probably draw the thing. It was a weird looking desk. I kept needing things like tissue and accidentally disrupting the class. I didn't take very good notes, hadn't done any of my homework, and was pretty lost. However I think there were a few times when i glanced at the problems and they were not that difficult. Something maybe you would learn in 5th grade with parenthetical parts of them. Maybe they were equations so maybe it was more prealgebra phase. This dream was long and kind of repetitive. The teacher was my last college math teacher.

Throwing food away and the chalkboard.
There was a big chalkboard. I did some kind of art on it supposedly but I was just messing around on it. I got dorlands wax medium on it, and I got melted crayon on it. I was trying to scrape the crayon off, and there was a big trash can beside me. Somehow I started throwing food away. There was some cheese that I grated straight into the trash. Then there was a package of baby carrots and sliced bell pepper that were new that I started to throw away. Feeling suddenly like this was a silly thing to do, even if there were a couple ants in them, I started pulling the carrots back out, then the pile of cheese, and saw that I had a bowl of perfectly good cooked brocoli on the counter, perfect for the cheese. I was holding the cheese in one hand, and the carrots in the bag in the other and staring at the brocoli when I woke up.

Syd is no longer my facebook friend?
Syd was no longer my facebook friend. There was some kind of friend tracker button and I clicked it and saw his name and fuzzy pic of his face. I got mad and yelled "Dammit!" or something. Marcus looked at me like WTF? I apologized and said I was upset, but I got that out of my system. But I was wondering why he had deleted me? Had I said something? Was he just clearing out people that weren't real friends? I didn't understand and felt kind of rejected. He's not a real friend just an aquaintance but we share most of our political views and I like seeing his updates.