nightmare

I feel that this one is situated somewhere "Jistebsko" or so.
I am not sure how it all started, but there is an old lady living in a little house near a big one. She is a mother of the man living in the big house. I know her somehow. I think there is some money involved. Then once I go there with some friend and the window is open. I just get closer to the window and smell rotting meet. Then I spot her lying on the floor. She is dead. I am not sure what to do. For some reason I think that people might suspect me of murdering her. I even think that I did it. I think that I killed her with knife. So I leave. Then I come back few days later as someone calls me to check on her as they haven't seen her for some time. Well, surprise surprise!! I look inside the house again, just through the window. Now it smells really bad. I can just see her legs on the floor (the rest of the body is out of view). The meet of the legs is all bitten of my rats or perhaps other animals. I then go to the house to report that I found her dead. But the people walk towards me. They are shocked. Then they start asking me loads of questions. When they open the door to the house, the body is covered. There is a knife on the floor, all covered in blood. For some reason I think I had just the same knife. Then this man (from the house) reaches on a side... there is a little hole in the wall (near the stairs) and he pulls out a piece of paper. I take it off his hand.. I know that I wrote it. I crumble the paper instantly... than I think... "shit".. this is so suspicious. I look at the paper. Yes, I wrote it. But its about meeting some girl, some other one than I was seeing. I start explaining to the family, what the note means. I talk about Adriana (for some reason the note has something to do with her). They listen. I feel a lot of pressure on me. Then we talk about holidays... and I think "shit, I should just get out of here, somewhere far!"

??.11.2011

Initiate (Parts 1 and 2) (DILD)

★★★★☆

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

There’s so many of us.

But still plenty of room to fight.

One at a time, they all have to fall, else I’ll be the one to go down.

Still, I can’t help enjoying the thrill of battle as I face my first opponent, a looming giant of a man, with sad, soulful eyes and the strength of a monster. With one hand he’s able to catch my true blade and hold it firm even as I charge it with screaming, vibrating, blue energy.

“I’m impressed. You should be in pieces by now. . .”

Time moves forward, as do my battles. The refined, razor sharp steel of my pure white, twisted-dragon-hilt katana, reduced to a blunt club against these foes. Tearing down my Vizard mask, with every strike I release a torrent of black energy, tinted red by my gleeful fury. Teleporting in and out, around my final enemy, I brutal beat him down with one wicked slash after another, into the ground, into darkness. *

It’s over. Three of us are left standing, all of us drenched in blood. I realize we’re the same, though our methods may be different, and it makes me sick.

“I’m done with this,” I say to them.

“Done with what?” One of them asks, suspicion and paranoia in his eyes.

“This,” I motion to the battleground around us, coated in warm blood and the bodies of countless slain warriors.

Walking off, I catch one of them say, “And you call yourself an eight!”

“I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.” I comment back, not even bothering to look.
______________

Daffodil is her name. A beautiful golden retriever, my new friend. We had spent so much time together, bonding, all in preparation for this moment, as I stand before an invisible committee.

Crouching down, stroking the top of her head to the flowing golden fur on the back of her neck, I do it quickly. My knife enters her throat cleanly, and I slide it through quickly, smoothly, minimizing her pain. But as she lies there on ground, bleeding out, I see I’ve missed the jugular. I correct my mistake immediately, ending her quiet whines, her suffering, my first task.

Now create yourself a human DC, and do the same. I hear his sick voice in my head.

No, that’s stupid. I have no issue killing illusions of my own creation.

You will do it, or you’ll fail. Him again.

But it’s pointless.

Then you fail.

. . . Fine. But I do it my way. . .

Calling out, almost immediately, I find myself a DC. A young boy named Jerry.

“Do you like baseball, Jerry?” I inquire.

“I sure do, mister,” he replies hesitantly.

“I’ve got a friend who’s really into baseball. Excellent pitcher; throws a pitch the Japanese call The Great Equalizer. . .”

And just like that we’ve formed a bond, Jerry and I. We walk for a bit, before I tell him I’ve got something to show him.

“What’s that, mister?”

I can hear he’s nervous as I draw my knife, the one I’d used a short time ago.

“This is my knife. Nice, isn’t it?

“What do you use that for?”

“Oh, killing, mostly.”

He steps back, fear on his face, and I know how much this is going to suck for both of us. So, with a flash, I activate my Geass, imprinting my will over his own. Now all Jerry wants, with his entire being, is to die by my hand. So I oblige, placing my hand on his shoulder and slashing open his throat. To quicken things, I drive my blade into his stomach and drive it upwards, destroying his heart, without breaking any bones.

He’s dead before he hits the ground.

Things begin to fade. . .

Creative. His voice, sickeningly friendly, breaks the silence, keeps me tied to the dream.

He was just an illusion. I told you already, killing DCs is meaningless.

Really? Then I suppose you wouldn’t have any trouble killing a DC of your mother? I can almost see his twisted grin.

Nope.

To prove a point, I whip up a DC who looks just like my mother, cut her throat like the others, hit her onto the ground, and stomp her skull into bits, her brain into mush.

I feel no remorse.

You have issues. He seems stunned and taken aback.

Like I said. Just a DC.

When the dream started, I was a baby.
The initial setting was my grandma's house, accept for it was a lot more updated in the dream.
Apparently, my eyes began to itch, and I scratched them. Then they started spewing blood. Then I started crying and the whole house flooded, and everyone made it out ok, except for this puerto ricin guy's son, whom I have no idea who he is or what he was doing there. But after the house flooded, it spontaneously caught fire. This man's son then died.
My family and I ran away from this guy as he shouted vows for revenge for killing his son even though it was unintentional.

---------------------------------------

The setting then changes to present day and I was again my current age. My mom, dad and I were at a nearby sonic eating dinner when a red Prius sped up next to our car.
Then the puerto ricin guy in the driver's seat said
"It's time."
We all knew what this meant and and slammed on the gas. We sped down the freeway.
Suddenly, my dad's car was speeding parallel next to our car without a driver.
We told my mom to save herself as we jumped into his car.

My dad and I then proceeded to the best place we could think to hide: Barnes and Noble.

Once we were inside the bookstore, a man's voice on the intercom announced that he was after me, we were all surrounded and were about to die. He then said that we had 15 minutes to live.

My dad and I gave up and tried to call my mom to say goodbye, but I had this impossible to work phone and I couldn't figure out how to call her.
I pleaded my dad to let me use his phone, but he wouldn't allow me to use it.
Finally, at the last second, he let me use his phone and as it was ringing, a bright red light flashed in front of me.

There was a flash and then darkness.

There was complete darkness and I was completely alone.

I knew that I was dead.
I was screaming at the top of my lungs for help, but it remained dark and quiet. I couldn't even hear myself shouting.
I was in this stage for what seemed like forever. I temporarily awakened for a second, but then quickly fell back to sleep and I was still dead.
But this time, I was in my room and I saw my mom sleeping in my bed. Then a female voice said
"You will only see me in that place between where you are awake and asleep."
And then I woke up.

Non-lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm in a big, fancy hotel. Some guy starts chasing me through the hotel. I try to get away from him by running up the stairs, further into the hotel. I discover that each floor of the hotel is really split into two sub-levels, with two short, parallel sets of stairs connecting the two sub-levels. There are completely separate, longer sets of stairs connecting the different levels. I realize that one can run all the way around each sub-level in a loop by going up and down the stairs. [ ] At some point while I'm running away, some other guy diverts me into an area off to the side from where I'm running, behind a door, and closes the door. This other guy is helping me hide from/escape from the first guy.

[I know exactly what this was all about. I'm pretty sure this dream was an expression of my anxiety over the fact that I haven't gotten my NaNoWriMo novel anywhere near finished.]

dream 1 - (I could remember how the dream started!) I am lying on the floor of some kind of school dorm of private school. I am wearing its uniform: red tie and dark pants. then my very close 'blood' (I'll call her D) comes on to me holding a bowl of water/ some kind of soup? she seems she's gonna spill the water on me. first I think she's just doing a prank, but she really spills all of the water on my stomach. I am puzzled saying "hey what are you doing?!". D grinns very maliciously, then she poses as if she's gonna fight with me. suddenly I get angry and fight with her. the fighting was really long, I cant recall them all, but I can even see and feel the blood tickilng on my face and bloody fists. I am both really angry and sad thinking how could D betray me... I still want to be close with her because of our 'blood line'. I think of apologizing her but I cant, so I say, frustrated, "what's wrong with you?! how could you do this to me?"
she says... "I want your hair to be silver-hair."
when I look close into her eyes, her eyes were bright red with cat's pupil. I recognized that she's a vampire right away. I get angry again, but then I am also scared. after some minutes of exhausting fighting(it's weird that I didnt feel any pain.), we are in an awkward position grabbing hands to each other, panting, blood tickling.
"I'm sorry." I say.
I feel her getting sorry too. but then she gets angry again and attacks me.
maybe scene jumps? I am suddenly Stella character(from my vampire comic. I think I was her because this whole vampire thingy mixed with my comic in the dream). I am still in my dorm room, looking over the veranda. (I notice that the dorm is actually a 'house' rather than an apartment.) the weather is cloudy. I see the people of prosecutors of vampire crowded over the veranda. and Hairless Man(from my comic) is standing there with his poker face. I can see his black hood and ominous feeling around him. he reaches to me with his long fingers like an alien. I get really scared and pierce a sharp wooden stick into his palm, and throw him away with. I lock the veranda door and sit on the floor, very exhausted, with despair and sadness.
this dream was very disturbing...

dream 2 - I am hovering along the ceiling in some kind of factory/ huge building. I see big pipes. suddenly I notice that there's a meeting of shared dream members. I go to the entrance door and meet Traeumer... he was half naked. wtf?! then here at this point I get lucid, but loses right away...

dream 3 - I play with cute dogs for 5 minutes.

dream 4 - I meet my friend in school. we go to resource room and talk about pokemon Digda... I drew it on the board lol

Everything's fragmented, but I do remember being out in the desert, and people were dropping money. My brother also gave me some extra money. There was a few casinos like a mile away i was going to hit up, and I think J and J were there. The casinos themselves looked like huge slot machines.

I also remember seeing Jamie Presley...I want to say I kissed her.

And I remember being in/playing skyrim. Something kept happening over and over.

- Setting: great Grandmother’s house, night time

Experience: my girlfriend and I are in the living room watching TV. Chatting. Laughing. I guess somehow we get a little “hot” and begin making out. I pick her up and sit her on the dresser by the door. As we’re making out, we hear my sister and her boyfriend getting it on upstairs. We can hear the bed creaking. My girlfriend and I laugh. I can also hear my great grandmother complaining to her friend in the back room saying, “Those damn kids are at it again!” her friend simply laughs. The creaking noises from upstairs suddenly come to a halt. I assumed they were done. My girlfriend and I continue making out. Our joy ends abruptly when all of a sudden my great grandmother’s friend screams, “burglar!!” knowing what would happen next, I race to the dining room area that leads to the kitchen and my great grandmother’s room.[my girlfriend, sister, her boyfriend, and great grandmother’s friend seemed to have faded from existence by this point.] as I arrive to the dining room, I hear an unfamiliar, sinister laugh, “ha…ha..ha..ha” and at that moment, a shadowy figure dashes forward and stabs my great grandmother in the heart and stomach as she entered the kitchen to see what was going on. Terror sets into my heart and my entire body began to shiver. I knew she was already done for, and now my life has become the top priority. I race toward the front door, the shadowy figure hot on my tail, I reach the door, that was open already, and as I begin to turn the knob, the burglar jumps on my back, as a reflex, I snap my upper body forward with as much forces as possible. This sends the burglar flying through the screen door and falling down the outside door steps and crashing into the ground at the bottom step. As the burglar lies in front of me, trying to catch his balance, I see that he is a white male, my height, my body size, however, his face is blurry, like someone put a censor on it. Without taking too much thought about it, a memory of my great grandmother’s death flashes in my mind and the flames of hatred instantly ignite in my heart. From the top step I lunge into the air and crash my landing right into the man’s ribcage. I start pounding his face with relentless punches and soon he is knocked unconscious. I continue to destroy his blurred face when suddenly a woman’s voice halts me. “Your death…is near...” the voice says, and I snap my attention behind me and see a young woman standing at the top of the stairs of the house. Her face is blurry as well, and like the man she is wearing all black, except for she is wearing a black dress that has a front that is slit perfectly so the stomach is showing all the way up to the bottom part of her breasts. The only thing that threw off this beauty was the fact she was carrying a long, rapier sword in each hand. She slowly starts making her way down to me, as if she were hovering just above each step. As she made her way to me, she raises the sword in her left hand and points it at me. Something about her screamed “death” in my mind. She seemed more sinister and professional than the man. Then it clicked, they had to be assassins, and she had to be his master. Knowing that I was outmatched, I let go of the man and run. I make it halfway to the street when I hear a loud whistling noise…almost as if…my instincts tell me to duck, so I duck and at that exact moment, a sword comes flying over my head, spinning like a Frisbee of death. I stay low because as predicted, the sword comes flying back to the woman’s hand. The man regains consciousness and joins the woman in the assault, with him standing in the front. I realize that running is no longer an option, so I turn toward them, and brace myself for the fight of my life. The man has chained weapon with a spiked metal ball at the end. Both the master and pupil begin hurling their weapons at me, I am able to dodge the all somehow and the moment there was a break, I put a little distance between us. The woman throws her sword again but this time I catch it. Now, with a sword in my hand, I charge forward, and begin my attack. The man hurls his chain at me, but I catch it with my free hand, pull him close and stab him in the heart. Adrenaline fills my body as I turn to the woman, my only urge is to survive. I swing at her stomach but she parries my blade with ease and lashes out at my face. I duck and soon we are locked in a deadly duel…(wake)

Setting: Cabin house, late in the night, with a small group of soldiers. Out in the wilderness.

Experience: I was in the living room with a small group of army men and women. I go to the bathroom and look out the window and see a guy with an m16 aiming it at the house, that obviously meant one thing, “They’re here!!” I yell at the army soldiers and they draw their guns, turn the lights off and take cover. I do not have a gun so I just take cover, and after what seemed like an eternity, the 5 minute suspense was broken by a storm of bullets that shook the whole house. Every wall of the room was being destroyed by the bullets of the dozens of enemy soldiers outside. The whole group died in that instant and the firing ceased. I did not receive a wound from this attack. As I rose, an army woman, on the ground, bleeding from fatal bullet wounds to the stomach, grabbed me by the pant leg and muttered out with bloody gurgled words, “run! You have to run!” Taking heed of her last, dying words, I take a peek through the shattered windows of the room and watch in horror as dozens of enemy reinforcements drive in with tanks and cars. No time to think, I hear the sound of enemy footsteps breaking down the front door and shattering windows in the other rooms and making their way down the hall toward my location, so I grabbed the nearest hand gun to me and rushed my way out of the back door into the hell that waits outside[wake]

I awoke in my bed. It was dark, and their was a CD player/radio on my beside desk. I also noticed that i was on the opposite side of my bed, and my upper body was hanging over the side of my bed. My sheet only covered half of my body. A eery song was playing and my legs were unmoveable. They felt very heavy. At this point i realized 'im dreaming' and awoke seconds later. This felt as if it only lasted 60 seconds.

7/9/2011
I'm in a basement with washing machines. I'm talking to my dad about college. I waited until late, almost the last day, to register for, uh, registration. They were almost fully booked. I had to sign up for whatever's available. They had an opening. I took it.

I'm waiting outside a building in the dark, near the concrete steps. I'm talking with someone. I touched a dead baby duck (it looked like a stuffed one with a broken pullstring). I feel dirty. I need to wash my hands. I go inside without my stuff.

I look for the bathroom, but I get stopped by two security guards. They tell me there's an opening right now. I say ok, just let me go get my stuff (and wash my hands). They say no. I need to hurry before the guy who was supposed to have this appointment time gets here. So I go.

The building is a bit maze-ish. There's a stair going down in the middle of a room. There's a lady down there, typing at a desk.

I go to another room for registering. It's an interview. I sit across the desk from a guy who looks like that guy who says 'inconceivable' in The Princess Bride, except he has hair. Or maybe he looks like the mayor from Buffy the Vampire slayer (the one with the todo list saying: eat lunch, become invincible, PTA meeting). He asks me a lot of questions and writes stuff down on a form. Then he asks me what I plan to do for my essay. What essay?? I didn't know there's an essay. And I still need to wash my hands. He explains. There's an essay now, about a computer science topic. I tell him I plan to do it on open source software or linux. He doesn't hear me. I repeat myself. He still doesn't hear. He closes one, but not both, of the doors to the room, limiting the background noise. He hears me this time, and asks me why. I tell him these subjects excite me.

I write something on the form? I don't remember but later it's got my handwriting on it.

I suddenly realize the interview is being filmed. I am nervous. The guy is like 'of course it is.' I realize I am not fully dressed. I try to cover up, then decide to try to act nonchalant.

There are others in the room. The guy whose appointment I got because he was late is one of them, I think. There is a small bed with no mattress off to one side.

The guy is testing me on something now, only now he is a slender dark-skinned chick. Some porcelain animal cracker shaped things are dropped on the floor. They have the devil in them. You can't touch them, she says, or the devil will go into you. She attempts to clear them up, but it's risky work. The devil will go into objects you touch them with as well, apparently. Afterwards, I am supposed to have noticed something, but I didn't. I feel embarrassed. I missed the social (cultural) cues. She walks around tapping her face making disapproving noises. But the interview is done. I am supposed to take the form... where? The basement? Oh, I get it, to the lady at the desk at the bottom of the stairs.

I take the form to them. As I am leaving up the stairs, the desk lady (there is another lady there too) gets up. She is commenting on my writing, that my v's are pointy. There is some sort of (hand) writing test that takes a lot of time/pages? The way they are talking makes me uncomfortable, as if they were criticizing.

At the top of the stairs, the room I am in has two doors, at opposite ends of one wall. I walk to the left door. Both doors are open. Down the hall, I see a guy, but more urgently, I see a dog, painted red and yellow. It's a hellhound! I shut the door quickly, before the dog gets there. It's running. I am just in time. It growls and presses against the door, up on its hind legs. I growl back. Then it goes around and comes in the other door. "Fuck!" I grab a chair, to defend myself with. I'm panicking. The two ladies are nearby, but they won't be able to get to me in time to help. I wake up.

WILD attempt. No or little SP. Possible brief lucidity. Very fragmented.
In an elevator. Poisoned. The bottom of the elevator goes up independent of the top, hits the ceiling, and goes through.

On a bus. There are two kids. I only saw the one with the ugly face. Someone tells me I am the one who taught him to dream (lucidly?).

I'm in a sitting/kneeling position, falling asleep, worrying I'll hit something and wake. I feel momentary intense arousal. Something about getting a tattoo.

7/3/2011
A Minecraft-esque dream. I'm building some kind of fort for a home base. There is a horrible creeper attack. First one blows a hole in the wall by the storeroom. I rush in to fix it, and his buddies creep in and finish me. I respawn and am trying to work back up to what I had. I get a few items back from my death. A brigand npc captures the Vaarsuvius npc (from the Order of the Stick), but I'm not prepared to be able to rescue V. I am adding potato chips to raise walls because it's all I have.

There are planes flying through a tunnel in the mountain with a lava river and lavafall. They are dropping water to turn the lava into sandstone.

J offers to help rescue V. A couple other npcs come too, one being a famous adventurer dressed in tan with a tan hat and white hair and whiskers. We descend into the cave, but the footing is precarious, and there is lava. I tell my mom not to step in that shiny stuff on the step (it'd be better to fall and break a leg than to step in that). She jumps over it, too far, too clumsy, and falls in the lava. That is NOT what I meant. J and I desperately reach in and pull her out. I feel so bad and guilty that it happened that I am even distressed after I wake up. Then I realize it can't have been real lava because it didn't hurt to reach in.

I didn't want to remember this one.

Before I went to bed I made some joking comments on an internet forum that I frequent. I had this dream afterwards:

I am on the forum and necieve a notification that someone has responded to the comments I made earlier. I go to the thread and find that people didn't find my comments funny and are attacking me and putting me down. I reply and point out that these comments were made in the Off-Topic forum and were not meant to be taken seriously. A few people reply angrily and someone says that they have reported me to a Moderator. The moderator replies to the thread and tells everyone to calm the fuck down and stop taking my joking comments so seriously. Then the Moderator bans me anyway, which upsets me, because I have a lot of online friends on that forum and the thought of not being able to interact with them anymore causes me distress.

I think this dream is a reflection of the anxieties I often have of being criticised and abandoned.

DREAM 1: I was in the living room with my sister. As she got married and left home, we were talking about our lives and stuff like this. [Here I dreamed something about Lois from Family Guy having sex with me while my sis was changing in the closet, but I don't quite remember it.]. After she left the house, the lights suddenly turned off. I heard some shamanic beats and started seeing shadows on the wall. It got even weirder when I tried to change the volume, but instead of a Volume text with lines below indicating how loud the TV is currently set, it showed me a red WTF? text underlined. I tried to call my mom and tell her about the lights as I was getting out of the house trying to figure out what the heck is happening in my house. I was so freaked out that I suddenly did an RC. When I saw I was actually dreaming, I threw my phone away and rushed to jump on the window. I didn't wanted to just fall down, as things like this destabilizes my dream. I focused on hovering in slow-mo to the ground. After I came down, there came my buddy with his girlfriend. Of course, after having sex with his girlfriend (What? It's a dream. Having sex with someone's girlfriend is normal there) I took the bus forward and backward. I thought that maybe if I go for a walk, the "evil spirits" of the house will go away. I came back and guess what? I saw a waitress in the kitchen and had a fight with her. She was throwing fruits at me, so I took a plate and used it as a shield. After one fruit crashed into her head, she got dizzy. I exploited this moment to throw her away on the window. The lights turned on and I lost my lucidity. I went into the living room and I saw some Dream Guides. They started showing me how to make a book slap in a dream to make the monsters go away. After a long explanation, they put me look on a text. It was written there "Beautiful book". They put me look again. I didn't understand why, but I did it. The adjective changed to "Bad". They put me look once again. It changed again to "Horrible". I then realised that they were trying to show me I dream. When I got that, they were proudly smiling at me.
DREAM 2: I and the peers from the high-school were visiting my elementary school. My old classroom was turned into a Chemical Laboratory. I showed them the classroom and I remembered that on 8th grade they put our class at basement. [I remember somebody was telling me to shut up and that I'm lying and something about my mom calling me and asking me if I want a shawarma. Nothing more]
DREAM 3: My mom gave me as a present the Dream Reader device (from the "Dream Reader" dream). I put it on my head and it started showing a skeleton. It was not only reading dreams. When I was thinking of something, it would put all my thoughts in the skull. Like, I was thinking of a truck and it was right there. While it was reading my thoughts, memories and dreams, I felt dizzy.

13.11.2011

Specks of Light (DILD)

★★★☆☆

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Constant tracing.

Stuck between infinitely constraining parameters.

This is my dream.

Again.

And again.

And again I trace, searching for a way out, a way to break free, but there is none. I'm confined within myself, and I WON'T FUCKING HAVE IT!

I call death upon my constraints, little points of light, wiped out of existence, one by one until only a void remains in my rampage. But soon it's filled, as millions upon millions of shimmering lights are drawn around me.

I could do it; wipe them all out in a single swipe. . . but what are they? Why did wiping those other specks tear at me the way it did?

I'll stop. . .

For now.

Not such great recall last night, not much time to write about it, either

1) I was in a dystopia where the people weren't zombies, but pretty quickly became the living equivalent. I was lost and unable to make it to work or anything that I'd normally do in a day. At last I reality checked and became lucid, but I had so many false memories and such a bad environment that I didn't even attempt to simply recover the dream and turn it into something good. Instead I went inside a house, climbed up to the highest window, stepped out on the ledge, and then used my mind to shut the window on my heels, thus knocking me off to my death below, and effectively waking me up.

At least I can mark another LD on my sig from that!