• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. Saturday, January 26

      by , 02-12-2019 at 04:46 AM
      I am at work, in the clearance section. Two or three guys are browsing together over here; one of them approaches me, holding a pure white men's jumpsuit, saying heís looking for a different size. I quickly scan all of the hanging white items as well as the single rack thatís on the wall by the jeans. I come back over to tell him that I didnít find any, when we see a folded, white dress shirt on the cream white and fairly empty shelf in front of us at shoulder height. I casually offer it as a possible substitute. He unfolds it to find out that itís actually a tuxedo vest. He says something like Ďoh nice, a vest,í like it would actually work for him. As he is unfamiliar and possessing of a sort of expressionless face, I canít tell if heís being serious or if heís fucking with me. I now unfold another, and this one is actually a dress shirt. Itís close to a jumpsuit in only the material - itís heavier, like a broadcloth, also a cream white. This guy is actually happy with it and is going to get it. After they have left, I end up putting some items in the clearance next to the kids shoes. The shoes are on a torso-high display and looking pretty disheveled. There are way more things in this section than in real life. I start walking somewhere else, and the whole place is different and much larger than in real life. It seems more open; thereís a sort of skywalk to another part of the mall (or casino? - it feels a little like a casino). Over by it, I briefly help a Hispanic man look for something before I go to do something else. I end up over by the suits fitting room. Thereís a computer desk at the wall opposing the opening at which sits Evelyn. I have the impression that someoneís been trying to call me on this radio, but Iím not entirely sure. I ask Evelyn if they have, and she says yes. Someone (the lady at work with sort of darker skin and frizzy hair who I think is a supervisor and whose name Iím not sure of) starts walking over to me, saying that I didnít really help my customer if I didnít completely follow through (referencing the Hispanic man). She directs our attention to the man who is standing on the skywalk, arms crossed, but not in an unpleasant way. Heís wearing a plum colored long sleeve with a vest over it, blue jeans, and cowboy boots. He seems dependent on the help, not in a co-dependent way, but more like he is turning the trust over to the employee. I tell this supervisor sorry, I was helping someone else and so my radio was down, slowly adjusting the volume up as I speak. I do feel poorly for leaving him and for not hearing the radio. I tell her I know I was helping him, but I forget what for, and ask if she knows. I genuinely am trying to remember. Thereís another employee too, and they look slightly incredulous. I canít tell if they find it funny or think Iím stupid or both. At one point, someone was ridiculing me for something, and it irritated me enough that I considered bringing it up to someone higher up. Anyway, I attempt to make it right and start walking over to the man. There is a rush of people moving in both directions, causing me to lose sight of him. I reach the top of the incline on this skywalk so I can survey it all the way to the bottom, but he is nowhere to be found. I double back and still, nothing. Iím by an elevator now; it is closing, so I get the notion to jump into it while I can. Literally jumping forward into it, the doors brush me on each side before closing on my JCP key lanyard trailing behind me. I pull it out and turn around to be greeted by two Hispanic men. They both seem genial and good-natured, and they both seem to think my jumping into this elevator was somewhat funny if not unexpected. One of them is shorter and more portly; I think he has a mustache. I dryly say either ďthat was closeĒ or ďjust barely made it.Ē They begin talking to me, slipping into Spanish. It is too fluent for me to understand most of it. I think on a different floor now, I see the door closing. It is closing on a chubby white family with a daughter. I donít know why we havenít let them on, so I am awkwardly diverting my glance. Doors closed now, we need to choose a floor. They tell me Ďtresí and I go to press 3 but mistakenly press something else. I canít entirely read the numbers on the round, silver buttons. For whatever reason, I end up just pressing all of them, the off white light illuminating behind each in succession downwards. I think the elevator is going to the highest floor first. It ascends, and part of the wall must be glass, because I can see what looks like the Atlantis casino outside the elevator. [As in looking into the Atlantis (from within) from the elevator, not as in looking out at the Atlantis]. I think the men now exit and I continue up one more floor. The doors open, revealing a floor that appears to be one huge hot tub. Thereís a low ceiling and dim but colored (blue?) lighting that plays on what is either bubbles or an excess of foam. Thereís an unassuming swim up bar, and I think a pool up above it. A young boy climbs up and over the bar counter to get to it. I donít think Iím in the water, but I am conscious of its proximity to my clothes and my radio. I start to think about staying here and using the hot tub, imagining sneaking onto the hotel room floor to find a towel from a room being serviced or the service cart itself. I wonder if anyone at work would notice my prolonged absence, but figure itís a large place so maybe not.
    2. 17-12-25 Bad Time Traveler

      by , 01-01-2018 at 04:50 PM
      I had somehow ended up back in time, probably the early 50's (or before). I was showing off an AR15 carbine to a few guys, who were messing around with a Thompson SMG (where is why I assume it was no later than Vietnam, where the M4 replaced the Thompson). Someone, possibly my former friends Barra and Fenn (yes, these guys again) judged me for being such a braggard. For my crimes of being a "bad time traveler" I was punished somehow. I recall my Fenn walking past me as if he didn't know who I was or hadn't seen me. Barra, someone who hates me even more than Fenn does, did stop to speak to me. I was quite emotional and felt a lot of regret. Not for anything in particular, just generally. I don't remember what he said. Nothing too damning. He came uncomfortably close while speaking to me, but didn't care because of how emotional I was. Anyway... I found another job as security guard for some rich guy, to guard his villa. Using the AR15 carbine.
    3. Ocean Camera and an Unhappy Reunion

      by , 06-18-2016 at 07:07 PM
      I was floating in an ocean in mostly darkness, although I could see below the surface of the water. I could see my legs moving to keep me afloat, and a long rope attached to me, via my waist I believe. On the other end was a camera. I was part of some experiment for me or an unknown identity to explore depths of this water.

      I reunited with an ex from my distant past. I'll call him Jake. My first memory of the dream is Jake and I laying in bed in the morning, sitting up with our backs propped on pillows against the wall. We were talking, and Jake said, 'Don't go falling in love right away.' I was not in fact feeling happy I was there, and felt like perhaps I had made a mistake. I said, 'I'm not, don't worry.' Jake looked hurt, and I realized he had actually seemed very happy we had re-connected, and maybe I had hurt his feelings. We were on some kind of trip, and we were leaving this day. I packed up, and Jake didn't talk to me much. Randomly my mom was there, as well as my step-dad, accompanying us on our journey home. Next we were in a car with a young version of my bio-dad driving. I was in the back, Jake in the front. He said, "We need to talk later, and I hope you remember what you promised me back [at the bleachers? football field? I have a vague image in my mind of what he meant, but I don't remember what he said]. I also didn't remember what I had promised him and I felt a little nervous, and a little like a jackass and I thought I was probably ending things once again with Jake and he would hate me.

      Next Jake and I (and maybe my family?) are in a grocery. I have an old, ragged roller suitcase. I stand next to a store employee and notice a crow at his feet. The crow is eating tiny crumbs of debris from the floor. I laugh to the store employee and we both agree the crow is a great little helper (keeping the floors clean). The crow begins to peck and tug at my suitcase, but I don't care because it's old. Then without my direct recognition of this in the dream, the crow is a dog, like an Australian Shepherd, and we are playing tug of war with my suitcase.

      We stopped at a small Bed and Breakfast, my mom and her husband resurfaced. They showed us the rooms we would be staying in. The entire Bed and Breakfast shared one kitchen. I didn't like this idea but I wasn't too bothered because I knew we were only staying one night. It was a cozy place, like a grandmother's home. Jake, an older man [replacement for my Dad and Stepdad?] and I sat around the kitchen table. Jake was talking about how many horrible people there are in the world. I said, 'But there are lots of great people too,' I start to mention how I also think about how everyone was once an innocent child, but Jake seems not to care what I have to say. A baby crawls into the room and spills a small amount of soda on the rug. I laugh and the baby giggles, and I teach it how to clean up the spill. The baby, clad in a diaper, seems to only be around 8 months - 1 year old. I ask Jake and the man if they have seen that funny new Hitler movie. 'You know, the German one, where Hitler time travels to present day after he thought he killed himself? It's really pretty funny in some spots."

      The ocean beginning seems very obviously symbolic of me looking deep into my emotional past or sub-conscious. I can also see how it is a well-executed prelude to the following dream. As far as the 2nd dream, I have been dreaming rather frequently about various exes, and finding myself stuck in relationships with them again. I'm afraid this says something about my latent insecurities about my marriage; aspects of it that remind me of things in past relationships I didn't like, or things about myself that I don't like. In waking life I am very happily married, and although my husband and I are working to better ourselves, I suppose I am looking forward to a time in the future where these things have changed.

      Updated 06-18-2016 at 07:43 PM by 91019 (added commentary/re-formatted)

    4. Teleporting out of trouble

      by , 01-15-2016 at 08:10 PM
      At a course I am pissed off with the lecturers, so plan a walk out. We all swarm to the exit to the disbelief of staff. However i have second thoughts and at the last minute teleport back into the lecture hall so as not to get in trouble Oo naughty naughty.
      I then start to feel really bad about the lecture staff , and suddenly one of them has a terrible open sore. It look ugh like the mummies I saw at the museum maybe, I can see through to the bone and sinew ick. I ask them if they know about reiki and I use my healing powers to fix his arm. The tissue starts to grow back but I figure it will take a night to fully regrow.
      The other guy wants to race, so I run with him, but cheat teleporting every few seconds instead of running.
    5. 291115: The Party Crashed

      by , 11-29-2015 at 02:08 PM (The Dream Journal)
      I am at a friend's party, lots of successful and fancy, hipstery people are there in her large, wooden house, we are in the attic room, it is wooden and shadowy. I don' really have much in common with all the jocks and women dressed in very nice clothes. I ask if I can have some of my friends come over as well, they are geekier but I'd have someone to talk to. I vouch for them and she lets them come. I also see my sister there and I feel a bit more relaxed.

      I'm talking to one of my geeky friends. He mentions how mean and horrible the people in the party have been to him over the years. Although everyone is an adult now, the direct harassment has now turned into a cold condescension, I feel for my friend. A big event is about to happen, people get into a circle as some kind of speech is going to be given. Right as one of the mean, good looking and condescending jocks is going to speak my geeky friend tackles him to the floor and pandemonium breaks out, people are all over the place tearing things apart.

      My hipstery friend who knows the host says this is horrible, really bad, the jock was being interviewed on live TV, now it is ruined, there is no way to fix this. He doesn't right out blame me for vouching for him, but I sense the tension. Secretly I don't feel bad at all for what happened. The jock got what was coming to him. This is karma.

      A new scene, we are in a school gym hall, a new party, the lights are very dim and atmospheric. My hipstery friend's girlfriend comes up to me by a table, I ask what's up. She says things are well. My hipstery friend is collecting money for the damages that happened in the party before, the house was wrecked. I feel a pang of guilt and panic. Why did I even go to that stupid party in the first place? I wake up relieved.
    6. Fast Burn

      by , 01-07-2015 at 02:33 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #396 - DILD - 7:12AM

      I was feeling really off this morning and decided to sleep a little longer before going in to work. The result was a cool LD. Totally worth it.

      I wake from a dream and try to DEILD. I as I sink back into sleep I feel very mild vibrations. I get overly excited and feel my heart race. I try to calm myself but the vibrations end. I should nose plugged here to make sure but I assume I woke up too much. I try to focus on relaxing my body as I put my attention on my crown chakra. I quickly lose focus.

      I am at some mixed version of my current workplace and my old elementary school. I see several people from work. Someone is walking with me outside. There is an open area where many people have gathered together holding yellow lilies. Somehow I know they are having a funeral from someone's pet. I remark to my friend how dumb this is as we walk through the crowd and enter the building on the other side.

      I feel like I am sitting in a car but I am inside some room. There is a fat bearded guy talking about selling me some herbs. He mentions a list. I only recall him talking about Achuma and Kratom but the list is actually much longer. I say, "That's ok dude. I buy all my shit online."
      He replies with, "I also have some weed."
      I was about to walk out of the room but I pause at this. "Um... ok. Do you sell bags or single joints?" I really just want a joint.
      "Both", he says.
      I remember that I have some cash but I left my wallet in the car. Also, I worry that other people will hear this exchange. "Um. I'll get with you later." He nods and I step back outside.

      There are still many people gathered around for the funeral. I realize I am smoking a cigarette next to Spencer. I remember that I quit smoking and begin to feel sick. I have only smoked half the cigarette and I feel a little bad for wasting it as I throw it down. I look up at the people standing around, as I wonder why I was even smoking. I look back down at the cigarette and watch the rest of it fast burn into ash. At that moment I recognize that I must be dreaming. I know I had a goal in mind but I don't care because, I think what I just saw was the coolest thing ever. I also notice that I have never smoked a cigarette in a lucid dream.

      I quickly search around for another cigarette. I don't think to check my pockets but instead rummage around the nearst area. I see two empty plastic planters stacked on a low concrete wall. I quickly find something the right shape, but as I focus on it, I see it is a white crayon. I decide this will do and I hold it like a cigarette as I mimic a lighter motion with my other hand. I see sparks and flame as I put it to the end of the crayon. I take a nice long draw from it and in hale. Jeff is standing next to me watching and I intentionally blow the smoke in his face. I notice the taste and feel as do this; it's all very faint. Jeff smiles and lets out a laugh while looking astonished. I walk away and decide to show off for the crowd. I really want to repeat the fast burn cigarette at will. I spot my friend Lindsey in the crowd as I step up on the low wall. I avoid her gaze as I know she would disapprove of my smoking in waking life. I hold the cigarette up for all to see and point at the tip with my other hand. As I move my finger from tip to butt the cigarette fast burns and drops away as ash. I hear a few people gasp but mostly there is laughter. The dream goes black and I quickly wake up.
    7. Jamie

      by , 12-30-2014 at 10:57 PM
      Julia's walking with this teenage girl, maybe ten years younger than Julia. They're talking about concepts of 'home,' and the girl's first association is the one night she spent on the couch in Julia and Jamie's apartment. This bothers Julia a lot. The girl says something about her parents who'd died when she was young, and mimes a salute - her father had been a soldier. Julia hadn't known that before - she wonders if that was part of why the kid sort of latched onto Jamie as a father figure, and part of her reaction to his death. Disembodied, at that reference to how Jamie's death stirred up the kid's old issues, I'm thinking about how Julia's managed to bring me back from the dead just to give me something new to feel guilty about. The tone of the thought is fond, though.

      A couple brief images of Jamie and the kid like snapshots - I'm in Jamie's POV. She'd been part of this group of kids I was working with, and she intimidated most of the people around her, generally angry at the world. She reminded me of somebody.

      Updated 12-30-2014 at 11:00 PM by 64691

    8. Guilty Festivities in Tuscany

      by , 08-19-2014 at 10:57 PM
      Saturday, 17th August

      Moon: 62% illuminated waning gibbous (21 days old) in Taurus

      Tarot of the Day: Knight of Pentacles

      Mayan 13 Moon Calender Date: White Self Existing Dog

      Nostril open on awakening: Left (feminine side/right brain)


      A sprawling Florentine city lay before Matt and I.
      (Matt is one of my best friends,although we do not see each other anymore as he lives overseas)
      We explore the Tuscan city fully prepared up with our backpacks and camping gear.There seemed to be a reason for us to avoid authority on every occasion that they appeared.Why I do not know

      The was an electric charged energy of festivities that lingered in the air,and there many females paraded around the narrow streets dressed entirely in white.
      Woman's day perhaps?

      We reach an empty silo made of large off-beige coloured bricks. Inside we find many thin wooden poles that have their one end firmly concreted into the wall, with the other side protruding outward. We glanced at each other and I can telepathically tell we're both thinking the same thing...
      Monkey bars!
      My conscious perspective shifts to the 3rd person and I watch Myself and Matt climb and swing from one pole to the next,slipping a couple of times but saving ourselves with a swift grab and grasp on the lower poles.

      I find myself in a big open plaza with my black Royal Enfield motorbike,the same one I had when travelling around India.
      A group of excited and most likely intoxicated middle aged ladies are celebrating in a big white double decker bus with the roof removed about 30 metres to my left.Shortly after, they exit the plaza in a frenzied blur.

      There's a cold breeze out, so I lay along the length of the long motorbike seat and cover myself with a blanket.
      Jenna,a petite girl with blonde dreadlocks and piercing blue eyes approaches from behind to chat with me. I can immediatly sense the attraction between us and I invite her to come join me under the covers.
      She surveys the parking lot anxiously, and I can see her think twice about my offer, but eventually she obliges.
      We begin to talk about how body warmth is the best thing to keep warm in this cold weather. This was just small talk as the fondling began to escalate, with me spooning her tightly from behind.
      I stop.I know this is wrong.I know that she has a boyfriend, and a child with the same man. Guilt grabs continue hold of my gut and my primal nature is unhappily halted.
      Jennas initial reluctancey of joining me made complete sense.

      We continue to chat about bland surface layer topics without the previous sexual aura, yet i know that she began asking herself question.
      "Why did he stop?Surely i made it clear what I wanted by jumping under the covers with him??"

      Later, around the lunch table, I see her boyfriend sitting with a black beanie covering his long hair... and his smiling eyes greet me. I act as if nothing has happened.

      The plaza now seemed to be a full on festival,and in the corner of my eye I see my parents,looking startled and out of place.
      I decide to give them some pure MDMA to ease their anxieties.
      "What the hell is this??",my mother asks worryingly.
      "Just trust me and take it.", I tell her as I break the large pinkish-white crystal into two pieces,giving the bigger half to my Father.
    9. My Earliest Remembered Dream Came True

      by , 01-09-2014 at 10:42 AM
      My earliest dream when I was about 4 was about me (no surprises there). I was in a hospital bed sick and unable to move or talk. My family consisting of my mother, father and sister are at the foot of my bed. At the head is a nurse who is the embodiment of evil. Next the bed and I am in an elevator. The evil nurse is with me and my family are slipping away as the elevator descends from them. I am terrified. I cant speak, cant plead for my family to save me.

      Fast forward to my teen years. I am in a family religion of birth that demands I bow down to indoctrination, declare the outside world as evil and live by a strict code I have had hammered into me all my life. But I cant. Its not me. Its a miserable existence I wont live and because of this my family abandon me and what ever I speak to them they twist round in their religious denial to make me feel guilt. There is nothing I can say that will overcome their stupid religious denial. To them I am the embodiment of evil, an excommunicated disbeliever.

      If there is one thing I can say to anyone reading this it is to NEVER allow anyone to guilt load you for being You!
    10. Lost and found

      by , 08-16-2013 at 07:25 AM
      I remember this was a long dream. I remember there were several rounds of it, and it was kind of repetitive but not exact repetition. It was all about me loosing my sons over and over again. It was always either entirely or at least partially my fault, and sometimes also someone else's.

      I don't remember all rounds, but in the last iteration the boys were playing somewhere in a grassy area of a city street, and my car was parked nearby with the motor running and key in ignition. A woman who in my dream was the mother of some friends of my kids, but in reality is an unknown, she started chatting with me, and she then went behind the wheel of my car and I got in the passenger seat, and she suggested that we go for a short ride while we chat, and leave the kids here, but come back to them, and I agreed. After we had been driving for a while, she realized she could not easily drive back - I think it was because of one way streets that prevented us from driving back the way we came, and the streets were not in a straight grid like many streets around where I actually live, but they were more curved and complex, more like the streets of old European cities. So in my dream the woman abandoned me or just disappeared. I abandoned my car, and started walking back to find my sons. It took a long time. Eventually I found them. They looked worse for wear, a bit dirty and dischevled, like they had been living on the street for a while. They were delighted to see me, and I them. And just when I found them, my husband found all of us to. I had no idea how he found us because I had not contacted him, and he had no way of knowing that the boys had been missing nor where we were. I had the sense that my husband was reproachful about my loosing our kids, and he had every right to be, because it was my fault.

      This dream is reminiscent of a few previous dreams of mine, in which I am also lost, also with a car, and my husband in at least one of them also finds me, and I don't know how. And I also have feelings of guilt in at least one of them.
      Tags: car, guilt, husband, lost, sons
      non-lucid , memorable
    11. Fights with my Subconscious - Monster, Ex-Girlfriends, Sex and More

      by , 07-31-2013 at 11:48 AM
      [Half lucid dream in 3-4 episodes. First episode: monster attack. Second episode: Ex-girlfriend- attack. Third and Fourth episode: A pimp attacking my car and war-games turned bad ]

      1. I'm walking through a mall. A lot of people are around. They are walking in every direction talking to other people etc. A typical day at the mall. I want to go to a cinema, which apparently is in the mall, although the place seems to be in one way very familiar, but in another very bizarre and strange. The place is mixed, it has features of at least three other places I know in real life: my favorite mall, my favorite cinema and the main railway station in my town.
      I'm tired from walking and I take a rest before a public toilette. The place is strange, the roof is tilted, it looks like I'm standing on a hill. I sit down and there is this guy. He looks like stoner. He starts to talk to me:

      - Hey you! How's it going.
      - I don't know, I'm lost in this place.
      - Aren't we all lost sometimes?

      He giggles.

      - No, you don't understand, I'm looking for the cinema. I want to watch ...
      - The New Alien film?, he finished my sentence. Ah man, you know, those films are really special?. sometimes a bit awkward, but rather fun. Isn't it?
      - True my pal, I said, especially this one scene where ...

      Our conversation get's interrupted. People are screaming, running away. They shout repeatedly "He's back, he's back! ". I stand up and see that the mall is attacked by a gigantic monster. It's running through the lanes, it looks like a scorpion, a lion, a boar and a snake mixed together . Something hideous like that I've never seen in my whole life. It's black-green-ish and has sparkling red eyes. People run away from it but it devours one person after another.
      Strangely enough I'm not that feared by the sight of the monster. I had a simple but clever idea to stop this mess as I realized that this might be a dream:
      I closed my eyes. After all, when I can't see the monster, it isn't there and can't see me.

      2. I open my eyes back again. I'm still in this mall. But this time, I'm in front of the cinema. I feel relieved that I saw a few friends of mine. We walked to the cashier. But the place is really crowed. I have to push the people aside. As i walk through the crowds I see HER. I'm really shocked about it, cause I didn't want to see HER. SHE is my ex-girlfriend, I haven't talked to since 3 months and haven't seen her since our break-up. I'm really irritated. Should I talk to HER or should I simply ignore HER? I recalled a conversation from last weekend that I had with my best friend. I said that I'm not angry anymore and that I'm totally cool about it, so cool, that I could survive such an awkward moment. I also recalled that I resisted every attempt from HER to get me back. But than I recalled that I haven't seen HER in waking life, but only in my dreams. So I feel really confident about it and start talking to her.

      - Hey M. Hey M. !
      She was looking away.
      Some one else said HER name and pointed towards my direction. She turns around.

      - Oh, hey, what ...? [SHE seemed surprised]
      - Hey it's me! I want to talk to you!

      She excuses herself and walks towards me. We go to a place with fewer peoples around and where there is less noise.

      I see that SHE has lost enormously weight. SHE has a fine silhouette in waking life, but it seems that SHE only weighted half. Her arms were thin, her legs too, she looked really fragile.

      - OMG, I said, what happened to you? You've lost so much weight!

      I grabbed her arms. They were so thin that her too arms would have fitted in one of my hands.

      - I know, SHE says, I did. People say that I'm a mess ever since I dumped you.
      - You're lying and you know it, I say. You aren't really her, I'm just imaging you around. It's a dream. You aren't real.
      - I'm not the problem, She answers, you don't let me go. This is your imagination world, not mine. Just simply let me go.
      - But I did it!, I protest, I haven't see you around like ages. The memories about you are fading.
      - But they come back, or don't they?, she rappels to my mind. You aren't over me for 100 percent.
      - How could I?, I replied again.
      I feel that I'm loosing the battle. I just want to dump her in my dream for the fifth time. To this day I resisted her attempts, or better said: I resisted to my deepest feelings in my subconscious. But this time it's really hard.
      - Don't you remember all the promises I made? I told you that I would never let you go and you answered me that you would ever stand by my side. but you didn't!

      My perspective changes to third person. I see how we are talking and talking. I can't hear what we are talking anymore. My view starts to fly, I see the talk from above. And suddenly one sentences got to my ears. "Take me back, it was my fault." It was the voice of HER. I've heard this sentences in nearly all my dreams, where she comes around . Instead of SHE kissing me and I getting upset and saying to her all the bad things she did to me, I kiss HER. I feel really guilty from my third perspective. I feel the kiss, it was cold, it didn't seem right. My other self and SHE went along together, I felt bad, so bad that I had the desire to throw up at both of them. BUT instead I disappeared through the ceiling.

      [The next section contents sex, violence and bad language]

      3 - 4.[SIZE=4] I'm driving a car through the night. I'm on the car park of the mall. I'm really upset about a thing I can't recall. a friend of mine sits on the passenger seat.

      - Yo Yossarian, he said, don't drive that fast!
      - Go fuck yourself, I say.

      We are exiting the car park. I turn left to the exit lane. There is a traffic light where none should be. I brake and wait that it get's green. But it doesn't. The waiting is unbearable to me and I light a cigarette.

      - Those bastards are going to kill me someday.

      I open the window to my right. My friend starts coughing.
      Suddenly two prostitutes run towards us.
      - Oh shit!, my friend screams. Close the window, they are mistaking us for some clients. Drive backwards!

      That's what I do. I drive backwards away from them. They seem really disappointed. Suddenly their pimp jumps up through a bush and starts demolishing the car with a baseball-bat.

      - Oh noes, my friend laughs, Pimp-attack!
      - that's not funny, the car was expensive

      I don't remember what happens next but suddenly I'm in a room with a handful of soldiers

      - My pals, the general said, today is victory day! As you know, we are going to win the annual war-games. This is the plan from today. You should ...

      I don't listened to his talking. All I can think about is when was the last time I got laid. And the creepy man standing in the corner of the room. He's bold has bad teeth, a beard and has crazy eyes. He's smiling. It's like he can read my filthily thoughts. I shake my head.

      - Everything clear now?, the general says.
      - Yes sir, the group answers.

      We go outside, But I and a captain go to another direction.
      - Hey private, he says, we are launching our sneak attack!
      - So it is, I lied.
      I don't know what he was talking about. The scenery changes. We are in a bunker.
      - I'll take a piss, I say and go to the restroom.

      After doing my duty, I washed my hands. My teeth start aching suddenly and i open my mouth and look into the mirror. I see that my teeth are in bad shape, one molar has a hole, another vanishes before my eyes. I spit three molars out. I'm not happy about that. I talk a paper towel to press it against my molars. I want to gout of the room, but the creepy man from before jumps out of nowhere and says:

      - That's my towel.

      And he takes it from me and vanishes again. Perplexed I go out with a fresh towel.

      In the bunker again, the captain is to be found nowhere. The outside door opens and he comes back in. He has a black eye.

      - What happened?, I asked bluffed.
      - I had a fight with a filthily girl.
      -Why? What did you do?
      - I tried to rape her.
      - You did what?
      - You heard right. But she didn't want to.
      - Does that even amazes you?
      - Yes, I always get what I want.
      - Are you nuts or something?, I objected. If you wanted sex, go check a prostitute, they are everywhere.
      - But I wanted her.
      - Did you never try to talk to girls first? That's the way I do it: you talk, you befriend and than you fuck.
      - That's too complicated. I wanted her now!

      I shake my head. What a bastard, I think. I go outside to look after her.

      She has a wound on her neck, some scratches too. I help her and make her a bandage. She is very delighted of it. She looks nice.

      - I heard you are filthy, is this true?, I asked her.
      I can't believe that this is true.
      - Yes, you're right. I'm a filthy whore. Everyone can have me, do dirty things and so on. Except the captain, he is a bastard. He doesn't know how to talk to a girl.
      - Yes I know. By the way, I'm going to say something but please don't be upset. It's just a proposition, you can accept it or refute it. No bad tricks.
      - Ok, she said, go on.
      - Do you want to have sex with me? I'm feeling horny now.
      - Why not, she said, that's the only thing good that will happen today.
      - I bet it will be.

      And so we started and the dream finally faded
    12. Don't know where going (bar), election loss my fault, banned from iPhone

      by , 06-20-2013 at 03:35 PM
      I started out driving from work toward a bar. I was going to meet a man there I know a bit from work, and don't really know and don't really like on some kind of date or happy hour. But I wanted to call it off, and say another woman would attend in my stead (this is a woman I do not know in real life). I did not know the direction to this bar but was driving there any way, though I did not know where I was going. I was desperately trying to use my phone to either get directions to this bar or to call this man to call it off, confused which.

      In mid dream, my husband showed up and he was now in the driver's seat, and he was telling me that I would not be allowed to use my phone or iPad any more because he needed all our data plan for himself. And while I thought this was harsh, I accepted that I deserved it. I had caused the loss of the election - it was all my fault - I felt profound guilt. In the middle of this discussion though where my husband is saying how I lost all my phone privileges, I interrupt him to say that I now have to use my phone to either look up directions to the bar or to call the man I was going to meet to tell him that I am not coming but another woman is coming instead.

      Side note: I found the references to my two dreams from June 6th in this dream fascinating. It's like this dream is a continuation and spin off of those dreams:


    13. Fri Dec 28 (1:47-10:38)

      by , 12-28-2012 at 09:45 PM (Glieuaeiel's DJ)
      Correctional Facility

      [There's a bit of sort-of-lucidity right at the end of this dream, but not enough that I'm willing to call it lucid.]

      One of my housemates lends me one of those red-light scanners through the bars separating our cells. I try to use it to give her ID card administrator access through the prison. From the instructions on the scanner's status display, I'm supposed to scan her card first, then scan the device that will grant her access privileges. Suddenly I notice that a guard is coming down the hall with some new prisoners. I have all sorts of illicit papers and devices spread on the floor of my cell, so I just try to lie casually on top of them as the group passes. Thankfully, the administrator doesn't notice. I scan a few more cards, but then I notice I've lost track of my friend in the confusion. I get up and walk down the center aisle of the bus, looking around at the people in the seats. Eventually, I find her [though she's a different housemate now], but the seats near her are taken, so I just grab a random empty seat a few rows farther back.

      I'm nervous. This bus is taking us to a correctional facility, where we will atone for our crimes. I know it is the morally correct thing to do, but I'm worried that my time here will interfere with my studies at college.

      The bus pulls to a stop in front of my old elementary school. It's almost dark out, and it's drizzling. Everyone seems to be heading around the side of the school, so I follow them. Then I realize there was a fork in the sidewalk a few steps back, and not everyone went the same way I did. But then someone shouts at those other people that they're going the wrong way. We're led into a nearby building with modern architecture (i.e. lots of windows) and up to the second floor. In the hallway up there, I see a number of doors with slots for access cards, and I'm very tempted to test my card on it to see if my earlier experiment worked. But there might be guards nearby, and I'm not sure I'd even be able to recognize one if I saw one. Maybe I'll get a chance to test my card sometime in the next few days, when I have a moment alone. But what if they chaperone bathroom trips? I might never get a chance!

      I realize that I'm not carrying my backpack of stuff. What happened to it? Looking around, I notice one of the plainclothes guards is carrying a lot of luggage for the new inmates, including my backpack. I wonder if it would be polite for me to volunteer to take it back, or if he's carrying it because I'm actually not allowed to have any of my stuff right now. I decide not to ask.

      After a bit more walking, I reach a big auditorium, where everyone is taking a seat. I sit towards the back. Once almost everyone is seated, the facility workers start explaining things to us. They start going through a list of attendance. One heavyset man with glasses and salt-and-pepper stubble names a person who is supposed to be here, because he was summoned no less than 351 days ago. The auditorium takes a collective gasp at that. There's no set time by which you have to answer a summons, but waiting that long is shockingly rude. Perhaps that person doesn't intend to answer for his crimes at all.

      They start going down a list of attendance, but they are interrupted only five names in by one of the new inmates. "None of those people are here; we're all from Bus 84." Apparently Bus 85 got delayed somewhere. Clearly most people here know much more about this process than I do; they must have been committed here before.

      Suddenly, people start pointing at the ceiling, which is made of glass. Looking up, I see some indistinct dark shapes flying overhead. Is it an air strike? Are we about to be dragged into a war? It's hard to see clearly enough to say if the shapes are dropping bombs, or indeed if they are airplanes at all. Then one of them flies almost right overhead, then dips downward and out of view under the floor. It was shaped a bit like the Millennium Falcon in miniature. No one in the auditorium is moving, but I think we're all wondering whether we should be running for cover.

      The ship shoots upward again past the windows on the opposite side of the room, as if it has looped underneath us. It arches over the ceiling, then drops below view on the other side again, closer to the building than it was before. Has the pilot lost control? What's happening here? The ship shoots into view again, loops over the ceiling--and crashes straight down through the room about fifty feet from where I'm sitting.

      One of the wardens shouts, "Good lord!" but they still don't seem to be moving. I guess they're just shocked. Well, damned if I'll be waiting for them. I run for the doors as the building begins to shake underneath me. Some other inmates are ahead of me, but when I reach the exit, there's no hallway: it's just a straight drop three or four stories to the ground. And the entire room is tilting, sliding, falling towards the concrete below. If this were real life, there's no way I would survive this.

      I jump out of the door and land on the highway with traffic coming toward me. It's daytime now. I jump on top of the first car, then jump to the second, and continue jumping my way down the line. This is ridiculous, though, so I obtain a motorcycle from somewhere, mount it, then activate the jet engines. This is fun, but I still have to dodge traffic coming straight toward me. I bounce the motorbike into the air and activate the transformation into a sort of metal hang glider. [Interestingly, I don't think the transformation sequence had any visuals, I just sort of imagined that it was happening in an abstract sort of way.] Then the glider's jet engines kick in, and I shoot above the treetops and continue on my way.

      Now that I'm out of danger, I pull out my cell phone and dial 911 to report the incident at the correctional facility. As I wait for the dispatcher to answer, I'm gliding over a grass field between two roads. There's a cute girl walking across the field. Tall, with wavy blond hair and freckles. We smile at each other. I'm about to fly onward when I remember that making out with someone is one of my dream goals! Letting go of the glider, I stumble a bit as I land on the grass behind her. This is a bit of a risk because there might not be enough action to sustain the dream--but if dream goals weren't risky, they wouldn't need to be goals.

      "Hey, wait! Come back here!" I call.

      She stops and watches me, looking a little defensive. I'm a bit thrown off by the fact that she's a little chubbier than she was before. It's like she's a different person, cute now in a different way. "Um, hi," she says carefully.

      "I just want to make out a little." She just stares at me. "Please?"

      She's still just staring at me as the dream fades to black and I begrudgingly wake up.

      [IRL: Last night, I finally took out my dreaming goals sheet again to pick a few lucid dreaming goals. "Make out with a girl" was NOT one of them, though. Also, I would give a lot to know what crime I committed to be sent to that correctional facility . . . but alas, I cannot remember.]
    14. Swimming Hole Nudity

      by , 11-16-2012 at 07:22 PM
      non lucid

      Spoiler for Adult Contentish:
    15. multiple choice test; staircase race

      by , 01-11-2012 at 02:25 PM
      Good morning, everybody.

      Dream #1

      I was in a classroom, sitting at a desk or a table. The desks, I think, were all joined together for each row, so each row of desks was like a long table. I sat at about the middle of the classroom, and just a bit to the right of the center of the row. The room was lit with a dim, drab, greenish fluorescent light.

      I was probably myself, at my age. But I was sitting among a bunch of kids in about sixth grade. Everybody around me was probably Latino.

      I turned around to my left and faced the back row. Everybody in the classroom was getting ready to take a multiple choice test. I was telling everybody in the row behind me how important this test was, but how everybody would do well in the test, because everybody was really smart.

      The test had now begun. I noticed that one of the kids, a boy sitting more toward the left of the center in the row behind me, was doing his test in a weird way. The boy was kind of overweight. He wore a black heavy metal t-shirt. He had his hair shaved into a style a bit wider than a mohawk.

      I remarked to somebody in the row behind me -- either a woman my age or a girl the boy's age -- that the boy was answering all his multiple choice questions with only one letter -- either "c" or "d." I laughed at this, hoping to share the laugh with the woman or girl. I probably implied that only a stupid person would answer all his questions with the same letter.

      But now the test was over. I realized what I'd done. After I'd given such a nice speech, telling everybody how smart they all were, I'd singled out one boy as being stupid. I may have caused that boy to lose faith in himself. And I may have made myself look like a cruel kind of idiot to everybody else.

      So now, to make up for what I'd said, I started giving some weird speech to some group of kids (and an adult?) near me. It was intended for everybody to hear, especially the boy. But I was acting as if I were just saying it spontaneously, and like I didn't think the boy was going to hear it.

      I basically said something about how everybody makes their own choices on a multiple choice test, and how everybody determines the choices that they make based on their bodily rhythms. So whatever patterns a person makes out of the choices on the test, those patterns are good, because they match the person's bodily rhythms.

      The boy stood up from his desk. He walked toward the right side of the room, then up to the door of the classroom. I could tell he felt bad about my having made fun of him. And I could tell he thought the speech I'd given in an attempt to make him feel better only made him think I was an idiot.

      I called out to the boy before he left the room. I said something to him, but I don't remember what. The boy turned around a little bit, not facing me, really, and said something to me, kind of mocking the way I'd made fun of him.

      Dream #2

      I was in some building. I had headed away from the first floor atrium of the building, and was now headed up a stairway. The stairway was wide and went up to a second floor or mezzanine area.

      Another stairway, a bit narrower, went off to the right, from the second floor to some higher floors. This second stairway looked out onto the first floor atrium area.

      As I was reaching the top of the first stairway, a guy stood at the foot of the second stairway, looking down to the atrium area and talking to a woman who stood there. The building was really quiet, even though it was really big, and the woman was the only one down there.

      As I approached the staircase, I thought I'd just edge past the guy and let him keep talking. But the guy saw me, so he started walking up the staircase, in an attempt, I guess, to keep moving ahead of me. But he kept talking to the woman.

      The staircase had two sides, divided by a railing. At some point, I tried to get onto the other side. But somehow the guy was blocking my way from doing that as well.

      At first I kind of liked the guy. He was a white guy with pale skin, a kind of round face, a red beard, and read hair. He wore squarish, thickish eyeglasses, a cap, and a plaid, button-up shirt. He reminded me of a really nice guy I knew in New York, who now lives in Chicago.

      But the more I looked at this guy, and had to listen to all the crap he was saying to the woman, the more I realized I didn't like him at all. He even seemed to be getting fatter and more annoying-looking. I wasn't going to be patient with him. If he kept blocking my way, I was just going to push past him.

      But as soon as I pushed past the guy and started walking more quickly up the stairs, the guy started walking more quickly up the stairs himself, as if he had to keep up with me, or keep one step ahead of me. The whole time he was doing this, he was still trying to keep up a conversation with the girl down on the first floor.

      The staircase got narrower and steeper. Also, somehow, it got twisty, like a helix. I had kept going faster and faster, to get past the guy. But he kept going faster and faster, to match me. At some point, he finally stopped talking to the woman. The guy and I were just in an all-out race.

      By this point the staircase was so steep, it almost felt like it was inclining backwards. I had to hold onto the railing just to keep my balance. I didn't even know if I'd make it to the top of the staircase. For the final few steps, I had to close my eyes. The very last step was incredibly difficult.

      The top of the staircase was some kind of small area, like an administrative area in a university library. I walked past the balcony that was around a staircase, then through a small hallway, then into a little kind of hallway-like alcove off to the right.

      The man who had raced me to the top of the staircase was following me. We both sat down on a bench in the little alcove area. The guy sat to my right. He slumped over on his right side as we sat.

      The guy started complaining to me. He was upset that I'd beaten him. (I'd only beaten him by half a step -- if that much.) But he was making it sound like I'd purposely pushed him really hard. Because I'd pushed him hard, I'd injured him somehow. So he was going to get me in trouble for injuring him.

      I had stood up at this point, probably because I didn't want to listen to the guy anymore. I might have thought I was going to walk away.

      But now the guy stood up in my face. He wasn't wearing a shirt. And he looked a lot different. He was clean-shaven, with a square, close-haircut and brown hair. He had a wide body, like good muscle slowly going flabby. His eyes were, at first, kind of pale blue.

      The guy shouted at me that I shouldn't have pushed him so hard, because he had diabetes, and now his body was messed up in all kinds of ways.

      The guy's appearance changed a little again. His irises now had a pale, reddish tint to them. I even thought to myself, Is this guy an albino?

      And now, on the guy's chest, there was a tattoo. It was like a double-headed "triangle," or an abstract mountain with two peaks. But the left peak was slightly highter than the right peak. And in the body of this "triangle" was a vertical rectangle, solid black, with a wide, diagonal strip of white running across its center.

      I felt bad for the guy. I didn't mean to get his diabetes all messed up. Plus -- for some reason, the guy now reminded me of a female-to-male transsexual. Something about this was turning me on, like I was attracted to the part of the man that was still female.

      So I decided to be gentle with the guy. I tapped either the guy's chest or back with the back of my hand. The guy's body was still sweaty. We both sat down on the bench. I started saying something nice to the guy.
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