nightmare

Not much from last night.

I one scene, I was visiting Terrence McKenna's ethnobotanical reserve in Hawaii. There were all sorts of crazy wild-looking plants. In either another dream or the same dream, I dreamed of eating a dish that had living crabs at the bottom of it. I was supposed to just eat the crabs, and I remember being nervous by the thought of one of the crabs pinching my tongue on the way down.

I also dreamed about getting it on with a college friend.

last night i had an extremely vivid and disturbing dream.

i was in a house that was a hybrid of my own and my friends house.
i hear a knock on the door and it's this guy i know (we'll call him A) that has a horrible personality IRL and i dislike him with a passion.

i haven't answered the door yet but i know it's him because he's speaking (it sounds like he's reading out the course outline for one of my psychology courses) and i recognise his voice.

then i hear some other people approaching (about 15 or so, and they all sound about 16 or 17) and they hassle A. he keeps just saying random words: "consciousness, neural bases of behavior, learning and conditioning.."

then they start stabbing him and laughing cruelly

A: "are you stabbing me?"

the stabbing sound was incredibly disturbing and realistic. i was sitting inside listening to all this and freaking out, almost feeling every stab because i can hear it so clearly.
then it stops and the mob sounds satisfied, laughing and joking about A's death
"look, it's a dead A. hahahahahahaahah!"

all this time i want to go out and do something about it but i know i'll just be killed as well. i was pretty terrified obviously.
i hear them leave and then i tentitively go to the door and only catch a glimpse of A and then look away.
he certainly looks dead. he's lying still with blood oozing out of his stab wounds.

i decide to call the cops so i go find my cellphone. i go to back to my room (which doesn't look like my room whatsoever) and find it. i dial 2000 (the proper police number in New Zealand is 111) and hear an american voice on the other end.

"hello this is the police blah blah blah"

i say nothing, still in shock, but i'm also starting to get a little confused by this whole situation and something seems very fishy.

operator: "come forth or front from the weather"

me: "uh yeah i think they killed A, they stabbed him man...."

then i woke up and heard a bunch of laughing teenage voices in the alley that had gotten into my dreams and had become the laughing mob.

so many dreamsigns!!! and i almost figured out i was dreaming!
dang man.

25-08-11 I am at a home office, belonging to my mum and I don't think my dad lives there any more. I really need to take a whiz.

I look in the cupboard to see if the bowl is there though I can't find it, I have a moment of thinking “why is it we don't have a toilet?”.

Ah well I might as well use the floor then, that is probably where it would go anyway. I start pissing on the floor. I have to pee, like a lot and it keeps coming.

While I am peeing I try running around finding some towels, kitchen towels and paper to soak it all up with. I manage to find quite a few of these, but.. I have to pee, like a lot and it keeps coming.

When I am done my sister walks into the kitchen and grabs something from the fridge, there is an open door between us and I am worried she will see what I have just done.

I talk to her about why she is up, she replies she has been asleep for about 8 hours (I worry if she is done sleeping) but also that she isn't done yet. She turns around and walk back, she has a massive smile on her face, and she looks like she has been exercising, as her face is all red.

I grab all the towels and put them under the desk (looks like the desk my dad made for me when I was living at home before moving to England). There is still a towel that I have put on a stack of papers and the A4 paper is now soaked as well. Besides this the urine is now starting to run down the side of this stack and into the printer, luckily it is an old printer not in use.

I wake up, check myself, experience a brief “phew, close one” moment and hit the john.
…

I am in a counter strike setting, me and my team mates are waiting in a harbour office building or something similar for the gates to open. When hey do hell breaks loose and shots are exchanged.

Should think the setting is at the docks, late afternoon though I don't see much outside the office I do see containers though.

Skip.

I come to myself still in the building, the gate is closed (if the gate is still even there). I walk around and run into a rather large man (not fat, but rather NFL potential build), he is of the enemy team so I pull out a falchion (think it is the closest description, it is a sword that curves like a mother fucker).

He pulls out a small knife of about 3-4 inches maybe.

I pull another falchion and start swinging at him. He dodges, sort of, I mean it looks like he is standing still, but he sorta doesn't stand still either.

After a bit of this he grabs my arm, turns me around and disarm the sword of that hand. I am at that moment completely at his mercy. He grabs the sword I have dropped and swing it over my arm that he is holding.

He doesn't actually hit me with it, but the motions he is making are blurry (that fast), and would have wrecked my arm had he followed through on the silent threat.

He lets me go and I panic.

I run back through a door with a code lock. The door is open and then take a left to get back to the room I started in. I can see the door is open as the one I have just run through, but the man now runs out the door and blocks my escape.

He tells me that the windows in the building are unbreakable and that there is no way out for me.

I dash for the window straight in front of me, though I know the windows are unbreakable I can't give up without trying to get away.

I leap and jump towards the window, I pull up my feet in order to kick the glass out and I hit a sensation of what might as well be the concrete floor I just left.

I know my fate is sealed.

I wake up.
…

I am in school, more specifically a selected course of the university (I am supposed to take one this semester). The room looks like the top room of Falck in Hornslet.

My teacher is Søren Pilmark and he is an ass.

First off I haven't read what I was supposed to, which doesn't really bother me as I have had no way of knowing what it was. The teacher doesn't seem to care and is talking harshly to us all.

A class mate asks if he will develop an application that will help with the learning. He tells him that he doesn't care much and that he would rather be with his family.

Skip.

I bitch and whine about this silly teacher of ours to someone. I also mention that it is “That actor dude..”
…

I am at a race, not an ordinary race, but a race nonetheless. It happens in a cave and there are multiple finishing points. Yellow, blue, green, red etc.

The aim is simple, get to the finishing point as quickly as possible. There is a twist though.

For every goal there is a direct route of average challenge, this route is marked from the start so everyone knows about it.

The goal is decided by a faerie (I think). So there are a lot of people waiting at the starting area and awaiting the words of the fae.

“Green!” And people start rushing off to the green tunnel, except a rather smallish blonde girl (she has long blonde hair, and she heads for the yellow tunnel. I am hovering above her at this time looking at what she is doing.

She is ascending a steep narrow grassy hill and at one point she has to crawl down and use her arms to get upwards. At this part of the track there are houses and portals(?) on either side of the pathway.

She gets to the top and then falls back and let herself fall into the portal on the left hand side. I follow and we are pretty much right at the goal.

I think she goes in and wins it and none of the other competitors are anywhere near. I try and get an overlook of the tunnel system up, but the only thing I manage to figure out is that the original route is wicked long compared to what she just did.

There are multiple portals in this room and there are two guardians guarding the goal or something. One of them starts making it's way towards the girl.

It looks like predator, though it has something on the back of its skull, missing all the “tentacle hair” always associated with them. Besides this its head is much smaller and it doesn't seem to posses quite as threatening physique. It is wearing a white robe or similar.

I jump up to it, I get the feeling that I could take it if it came to a fight, but I try cunning instead. I have for the past couple of moments looked at my experience sheet, and I am positive it says I have “38900” (or close thereto) out of the same number, or in other words I am at the exact level up point only need a bit more.

I ask the guardian if I can quickly show my sister my experience sheet before they continue fighting. Unexpectedly the guardian agrees and waits. I say, “Hey look at my experience!” and then I see that I am actually 1000 short “Ahhh”, I tell the guardian, “I thought I was actually at the level up number”.

Then I ask him if there is a place we can go and kill some monsters so I can get the last bit I need. He agrees and escorts me into a toilet and explains where the different monsters hang out.

I think to myself I could just kill this one, but he is actually rather helpful and likable, plus it would just be lame to sucker punch him when he is only trying to help.
…

Speaking to someone if they are bound in the same way to words as the Sidhe.
…

Something about 50 cent or U-turn in a golf cart not being happy with my admission to the school, might not have been a legal arrangement.

As any astute follower of this journal would notice, I haven't quite followed through on my recent resolution to resume dream documentation, however I do like to come back to this journal time to time to document particularly notable dreams (eg the previous post). The following is actually a dream I had a few nights ago and have been toying with the idea of writing down; it was a very haunting, powerful experience that I keep thinking about again and again.

The overarching premise of the dream was that I was dead somehow and in heaven. I want to say that the earliest part of the sequence was me living ordinarily in an area that seemed to be a common room with a bunch of offshoot dwelling rooms adjacent to a hallway that led directly to a hospital where I worked (I'll get into more detail in describing both later on), but I also suspect these may be memories within the dream (I'll clarify this later as well). Anyways, the earliest clear part of this dream took place as I somehow came to be outside the gates of heaven. I was apparently well aware of a conspiracy to keep people out of heaven, and that the primary methodology of this conspiracy was a complex maze system outside heaven's gate with a long line of people that were queued to enter heaven, and it was so constructed so as to keep people trapped, slowly moving nowhere in circles. I was at first able to see a narrative overview of this maze; people in single file line, slowly shuffling forward, many branches and loops ensuring that the people (who seemed completely ignorant of their situation and complacently moved along) were trapped. There were "employees" who seemed to be party to the conspiracy directing the flow of the lines so as to maintain things. As it were, I was just near what I knew to be the actual, true entrance to heaven, which was blocked off and guarded by a line of "employees". As I stood there trying to determine how I was going to get back in, I by chance noticed a bellboy carrying a platter of dirty dishes (I seemed to understand they delivered food to people in line). I watched as he entered an adjacent hallway marked employees only. It was unguarded, so I looked down the hallway; it was tall and wide and reminiscent of the grand hallways at a hotel convention center. The hallway went a long ways back before ending in a group of employee rooms (I assumed one of them must be a kitchen), but I also noticed a hallway branched off to the right some distance down. I looked to my right now towards the entrance to heaven and noticed another hallway opened on the other side of the line of sentries, so I decided I'd try to sneak through that way. I happened to have my messenger bag with me, so I decided I'd pretend to be a writer. I began to walk quickly down the hallway, repeating the phrase, "I'm a writer" constantly in my head as though I thought it would somehow prevent me from being caught. As I turned the corner to the right, I found that the hallway continued for some time before coming to another hallway parallel to the first. I turned another right and headed towards the exit. As I continued down this hallway I came upon a black man in a suit who waved at me in a friendly way and offered to shake my hand. As I shook his hand I only said, "I'm a writer" and then kept walking; as I passed him I could see the look of confusion on his face. I seemed to understand that he wasn't a guard, but that his job was to simply stand there and greet people. I exited the hallway into the hospital area (note this was not the area I'd seen from the other side of heaven's gate previously), which was comprised of square rooms, all hallways, some of which resembled normal hospital hallways and some of which resembled patient rooms with through paths. I knew my way back from here by memory; from the hallway square at the exit of the hallway I turned right into a room square, then left through three more squares and then right to the exit of the hospital area into my living area I'd mentioned previously. As I arrived, I slowly walked further into the room, examining my surroundings. Like the hospital area, the room was familiar to me as though I'd been living there for some time. There was a dining table in the middle of the room along one wall that was cluttered with papers and there was a television suspended on a thick pillar adjacent to the table. It occurred to me later that the layout of the main common room very vaguely resembled the living room at my grandma Isabel's old house in Halstad, and to that theme everything seemed dusty and slightly old as though the furniture, paint on the wall, decorations, and even the television were from the 80's. There were a number of people intently going about there business in the room also. As I examined my surroundings I became increasingly distressed with my disposition. I then lashed out verbally, asking if this was all I had left now in heaven, that I'd spend eternity trapped in this dusty room with some other people from the 1990's (a woman nearby in earshot glanced at me and rolled her eyes as she continued doing something), complaining that there wasn't even much of a proper internet yet. I continued, suddenly realizing that I was due to take the MPJE tomorrow but now couldn't because I was dead, meaning that I'd never been successfully licensed as a pharmacist and thus the last several years of my life spent training to that end was wasted. This angry diatribe was cut short by the realization that I'd left Laura behind and could not be sure when she would arrive or if she'd arrive at all (at least we'd already returned to her hometown, I hoped she'd find happiness again, etc.). In this strong emotional mix of anger and sadness I realized that my situation could not be real, but I could only think of ending the dream quickly instead of allowing it to continue post reality check and instantly managed to wake myself up.

When I fell asleep again I had a short continuation of this dream where I went to a buffet for food (I was aware I was still in heaven). The restaurant had many people but wasn't too crowded. It reminded me of the restaurant at Bill's gambling hall.

As I mentioned at the start of this entry I mentioned how haunting this dream has been the last few days. The reason for that is that afterwards I've been left with the haunting thought that I may have peered into the real heaven (a chilling thought given the "conspiracy", how drab the environment was, and my emotional observations towards the end). I don't genuinely believe this now (the fact that heaven is historically described as more paradise in nature, consideration that this may represent hell rather than heaven, and my ultimate awareness that this was a dream all heavily discount this notion), however I believe it does represent a phenomenon I referred to previously as "dream bleeding", where elements of the dream have remained strong in my consciousness long after the dream has ended.

August 23, 2011

Remote control was in my hand and in real life belong to me. My father in the dream owned it though. I told him that I got it somehow and ssomehow knew he was at the left side of the house. The house itself is my grandmother from my mother side.

I ran to the right side and into the backyard knowing my dad will go through the front door. I had a feeling my plan failed and indeed it did with him standing on the back porch.

I ran and he was able to catch up, I became somewhat lucid, enough so to tell myself to wake up from this dream.

Not really a nightmare but going to label as one...I hate people chasing me.

Side note...I should write these asap...11:33 PM, it almost tomorrow.

Most of this is not a dream. I woke up in the middle of the night to a dream I had. It was soooo long, but I didn't have my recorder handy...and I didn't feel up to writing it down. All I do remember about it was that it creeped me out tremendously! Only one other dream has creeped me out so much.....the one with the clowns. I felt I would remember it in the morning but I didn't. .....I also had a false awakening prior to waking up. It was morning...I had just woke up. All I could see was a figure by my bed and noticed a knife....I said "oh, I'm still dreaming!?" I then woke up....rehearsed the dreams and as I tryed to recall all I could I got a stabbing pain in my eye. It was horrible.

So, this nightmare occurred in the time space of one hour.
I fell asleep at 23:30 and woke up at 00:30, soaked in sweat.

I do not remember much from the actual dream, other than it was really dark, I was in a Colosseum, and a paranormal spirit pushed me out on the fighting grounds, to watch me battle with a paranormal enormous bull that I could only sense and hear, simply for it's own entertainment. The spirit was a teenage girl, however, I didn't actually see or hear her. She talked to me through my mind, and pushed me while I could only sense her being there.
The bull rushed towards me, hit me heads-first, and sent me flying.

That's all I can remember, but I am sure there was more to it. I recall something about walking through passages in darkness, but I am not sure.

Awake Non-Lucid Vivid

This was after my WBTB, where I done a mantra saying that I will wake up after each REM, lie still and DEILD.

I'm in a large music room with a class, although there's only a few of us here. The only person I actually notice and take an interest in is a tall boy with strawberry blonde hair. There are two piano's, which I decide to try and play. I sit down and try to play a familiar piece, but the keys are flat and not defined, so I find it very hard to play.

Suddenly a teacher -a man- comes in and says we need to move out, that we're homeless and on the run. We all troop out into medieval Scotland. We walk for ages, trying to get to the border between Scotland and England. I swear and jump about, because it's legal in Scotland but not England (only in the dream of course). I run ahead of everyone, trying to find the sign. Eventually I see i've ran past it into England. Scared, I quickly re-cross the border.

Night has fallen and everyone is chilled to the bone, and tired. We huddle together, shivering. They all move away to find a place to sleep. I notice two dark, twisted gates facing each other. I move to the one on the left, climb up the tall stone walls until i'm peering over it.

There's bushes and gravestones everywhere. Sticks of fire light up patches of the area. I get the feeling that I can change things, so with a bit of effort I manage to make some of the graves sparkle blue.

With a shriek, a gargoyle flies past, a firey torch on it's back and a spear clenched in it's claws. I drop to the ground before it sees me and realise with horror that this is the cursed graveyard. Anyone who is seen in it is doomed to be hunted down and brutally murdered by the monsters inside, if they are seen. It's why there are torches everywhere, and the monsters carry them with them.

But, the graveyard opposite the cursed, is a safe haven. Unsure if i've been spotted, I sprint into the safe graveyard to find my group. They're on the dirty ground, curled up sleeping. Heart pounding, I lie down. I can't sleep because I still feel something is wrong.

Where's the blonde boy? I can't see him. He didn't go into the graveyard did he? Fear gripping me, I run back over to the cursed graveyard. Instead of climbing, I fly up into the air. Yes! He's down in there. I can't let him be seen.

I shoot out my hand, which extinguishes a nearby fire. I do this to the ones around him, and even to the flying gargoyle, which shrieks menacingly. I don't care, I just need to get the guy out of here.

And unfortunately I can't remember any more than that It was rather creepy..

1) Nightmare of some sort. Something that made me lose hope. Despair.

2) NAP. >> Naps I rarely remember the dreams, but I can hold on to the thoughts from them when I wake up. Like thoughts keep on going as if I'm still in the dream. I could take advantage of that.

Just before I wos woken by a.knock on my door I was carrying a very good camera on a metal stick.

The stick might have been a tripod. It as tall as me but it was not in the way or an encumberance.

I got on busses with it.

When I reached up to look through the camera I saw things very clear and magnified and could gently turn and see a 180 or maybe a 360 view.

But when I looked without the camera, some things weren't there. Like I saw a nice horse through the camera but when I looked to see why a horse was in the shop, it wasn't there.

I was on the street, then in a confectionary shop (sweets). Then buying a very unusual cake, two slices. I asked if they could break a fifty dollar note, they couldn't. I gave them a $5.

That made me aware that I had too much money. I went outside to catch a bus so I could look through my.spiffy camera (on the tall, slim tripod), at my sacred beach, (Henley-Grange beach).

Looking in my bag for my bus ticket I found I had too much money.

Every purse and compartment, in my bag had $50s and $20s and $10s and $5s even Commemorative coins from Ireland.

I let a bus go by as I tried to put all the $5s in one purse or compartment, the
$10s in another, $20s in another and $50s in another.

But, I swere, more and.more notes were appearing. Then I woke. Some one knocking on my door. It was a nice guest telling me that he changed his mind about leaving and he wanted to stay.

Now I remember that before that dream I woke in a dream bedroom. It had nothing but a bed in it. I got up and was kinda turned-on, full of energy, totally comfortable in my skin and ready for what ever the day might bring.

It is now 9:03am Monday 22/August/11 here in Adelaide, South Australia.

Me and allen were at our apartment but it looked nothing like the one we actually live in. There were some other people there but they were all random dream characters. For some reason we had a ton of barbies in the house. The barbies were evil. They would hid behind dressers and behind clothes in the closet. Their goal was to wait for us to fall asleep and then they would kill us. At one point I watch as one makes movement in a closet and I cover my eyes in fear. Allen says that we need to destroy all of them now. I grab one. She appears not to be evil or alive but for safe measure I take her to the sink. At fiery she was a really beautiful barbies but as I started to dump her head in the water and hold it there, the colors start to fade and she becomes more and more scary looking. Then I see that she starts to move her head and is clearly holding her breath. I hold her arms against her body so that she can't move them. I experience a strike of terror as I watch the barbies struggle. I had a weird thought that maybe if she didn't die from the drowning, she would come back and cause me to drown (which is one of my most feared ways of dieing). I quickly pulled her head our the water. She turns her gaze to mine. another strike of terror. I run to the kitchen with her to allen. Allen tells me to chop her up into tiny pieces so that if her evil soul reenters her body, she wont be able to use that body to kill us. I grab an oversized butcher knife. I lay her out on a wooden chopping block. I can see that she is weak from the drowning and isn't moving much. I was surprised at the fact that she wasn't fighting to stay alive. I begin to chop off her head, than arms, then legs. I rechop all the pieces. Finally when I was satisfied that I couldn't chop her up anymore I despised of her in the trash. I was relieved that was over but still panicked because I had so many other barbies to find and chop up. Allen gets a phone call and walks away. I go back into the bedroom to find another. I am scared to walk anywhere they might be binding in case they jump out at me in a big group and attack. I decided to leave the room and wait for allen to help me find more. Allen meets me in the hallway. He looks out of breath and hurried. He said that he was being forced to move away for his job. I began to sob because I didn't want him to go and I was scared I would die of he did. He looked really upset and then said that he would stay with me. I hugged him really tightly for a long time. Then we went back into the room. One thing I noticed about the apartment that I didn't mention earlier was that it was filled with children toys, cartoon blankets, and was very messy. Total opposite of how it actually is.

(There is a "trigger warning" on the content of this dream.)

This dream takes place in a sort of Medieval fantasy world, much like Lord of the Rings. I am my dream incarnation Kalima, who has orange hair and wears a white and violet dress. I am in the center of a large valley of some kind. I am on a flat plain surrounded completely by large snowy mountains. It is cold and dry and it is either late autumn or I am far north, though there is no snow on the ground.

I know I am trying to find my way to a certain land, but I do not know how to get there. I am in the process of escaping another land where people are trying to kill me because I have been accused of witchcraft. A while ago I was being pursued by a group of men dressed in furs who were riding black horses, but somehow I avoided them and ended up in this valley. I am nervous because there are no trees or large boulders to hide behind and if the horsemen make there way into this valley, they will surely see me.

I head for the smallest range of mountains and try to traverse over it, but I lack supplies and I am starving, I am too tired and it is too cold. I collapse and some travellers find me and take me to their cabin on the other side of the mountain. I sleep for a long time and when I awake I am in a trance like state and I start drawing maps because for some reason I am unable to speak and cannot tell my rescuers where I am trying to go.

Some of the older men in the family recognizes the land I have drawn in my map and they gathers supplies to try and take me there. We travel for a long time and are almost at my destination when the horsemen find us and attack us. All of the men I am travelling with, except one, are killed and we are taken prisoner. We are taken to a camp set up by the horsemen and I am interrogated and tortured because the horsemen want to know where I was headed, though for some reason I am still unable to talk. Late in the night thw lone survivor of the men I had been travelling with is tortured and killed. After his death some of the horsemen gang rape me repeatedly.

Dawn comes and I am traumatized and exhausted and am looking forward to the horsemen killing me for witchcraft because I do not want to live anymore. Before they can assault me further the horsemen's camp is attacked by elven warriors and the horsemen flee or are killed. I am overhwelmed by everything that has happened and pass out.

When I wake up I am in a large palace somewhere and there are beautiful elven people walking around and whispering softly in the grand halls. My wounds are dressed and there is fresh fruit and bread on a table near by soft bed. I am still traumatized from the torture and rape, and still unable to talk, yet somehow I know that I have arrived at my destination and I fall back into a such deep sleep that I do not know if I am just asleep or if I have died.

im in this ware house and im a kiddnapped kid im special or somthing and ther bad guy infected so im throwing blood around then there this body on the ground have of its gods son and the top have is the devils son the devile part is burned black and gods son part is just brown beacuse of karma or somthing im putting a rubber band around the torso somone died or is going to die im a little freak out

This was almost like a film, it was playing before my eyes. Paying attention to just the right people at the right times. Maybe this is a little nightmarish too.

A girl, 18, the main character, sees that her mother has fled the land, for doing something wrong and the kingdom wants to punish her. She wants to find her mother, she knows where she might be, there special place. Over the war-lands, where un-dead soldiers (in the form of skeletons) fight an eternal battle, never to be won, never to be lost.

As she runs over these 'dead-lands.' She gets hit by the explosion of the bomb, she'd been through the dead-lands a few times now and survived, surely this will not be the end? Before the story has even started? Apparently yes, because she awakes with only 1 arm. Completely disintegrated from the explosion, while it is been treated by the un-dead, with her concerned friends overlooking her.

Just as we are about to see if our fair maiden will survive this harrowing ordeal, I am woke up by my sister, so I am in quite a mood I didn't get to see what would happen next.

Atras, can you see this?