non-lucid

This is being directly copied from my tumblr. If you don't follow my progress with my tulpae, or if you don't know about tulpae in general, parts of this entry may not make much sense.

This post is about a dream I had last night.

First of all, let me give some background information. Last night, Link and I were on the IRC. He was talking with Ashley (his girlfriend, for those who don’t know), and he explained to her how he still wants to go back home to the forest, how he knows he should stay here, how he hoped she would understand (she did), etc. At one point last night, he told her he’d be right back (since I had to go for a few minutes); when he came back, she had logged off. One of the other users informed him that her host had had to go. We ended up going to bed shortly after, but he did say he still needed to speak to her.

Anyway, on to the dream…

I was on the IRC, and I got a PM from Ashley with a message clearly meant for Link.

“I’m so f*cking done…”

I knew right away what she meant. Last night had been the last straw. After all, last time he left, when he came back for a quick visit, she got mad at him for leaving (and not intending to stay). They ended up getting in a huge argument over it, which resulted in her refusing to speak to him. It wasn’t actually too surprising that she’d finally had enough.

I wondered how Link would react. I knew he wouldn’t take it well. After all, she was essentially breaking up with him. Of course, my mind immediately jumped to the worst-case scenario, which I really hoped wouldn’t happen…

I decided I should stop worrying about how he MIGHT react and just show him the message. Next thing I knew, I was lying awake in bed, in the dark, at 2:30 in the morning.

I was SO relieved that it had only been a dream.

I'm in "Atlanta" (though it looks nothing like the city) with my two friends Bet and To. They are a couple. We need to get to the airport to leave. To starts driving off and as he's driving Bet decides to look up the directions on the GPS. He's driving north and it does look like the way that we came from the airport. I know that it is the wrong direction though because I saw the airport on the other side of the town earlier. We only have 45 minutes before our flight so I start to argue my case. They don't agree so I stop arguing. All the while, the GPS is not working properly. I'm dropped off at the boardwalk that is suspended over the city. It is the outskirts of the city with not many people and many storage buildings. I walk over a yard of drone aircrafts and I think it strange that these are out in the open. I thought their technology was secret. I think about taking photos but instead keep walking. I call up Bet and To and they have left me. I say it's okay and I mean it. I call my sister who has an apartment in the city.

We go to a petting zoo. The zoo guide lists the names of all the animals that are available for petting. They seem normal enough but at the end his voice changes tone and he says, "and a tiger!" I'm scared expecting a big tiger to walk up. Instead, a zookeeper emerges with a baby tiger. He lets us pet it. I'm angry at the zookeeper because he is not being gentle with the tiger.



I have a fragment of a fish tank scene, where the fish are sort of competing with each other. I have a feeling it was an interesting dream but cannot remember much.

I'm in a house, which needs to be renovated. Some guys, three of them, do that job. they say, that the whole electrical system should be remade, and for that, they have to take down the clay coverage. But instead of paying a guy to do that job, they will hire someone, which can do that than. And then i notice, that the whole roof truss is loos, i can move it from side to side, and the house bends with it, all the doors get skew, and i realize, that the wood arbor, which connects the house with the truss, is broken, the worker say, that they have to fix that as well, and i'm thinking about the best ways i can immagine to do that.

I'm outside, in BDU's and I'm securing a parameter. I can see some scientist looking at something right next door. This other guy and I are guessing what could it be. We sort of come to the conclusion that it could be radio active. I jokingly state that if it is, I'll go next door and grab something to eat since the fridge is probably lined with lead.

My feet are hot, so I take off my shoes and socks, and eventually some other soldier calls me over. I told him I'd walk over when I got my gear back on, and he made some response about being a lazy LT.


I'm at some huge congressional meeting...I think it's all democratic, and the speaker of the house is there. She opens up the floor, but for the most senior people. After someone speaks, all the people in the crowd have mini uproars like they're a bunch of yes men. Meanwhile someone asks me to do a multiplication problem. It was something in the 400s maybe times 80. I want to say 450 x 80. Anyways, I couldn't figure out 8x4 for the life of me for some reason, and just asked another DC. She was like "81" and I said it can't be, because 8x10 is 80. I asked another one, and they said "45", and I did the same thing. I was so mad that I forgot the number when I woke up.

I'm in a hotel in Vegas. Some military people are with me, but I'm not in....we're just relaxing. My room mate bursts into the room, and I said "hey, you better be glad I wasn't jacking off!". Some other guy enters, and I head off solo. There's an AVN awards show going on, and I show up. (fun fact: I showed up to the hotel where this was going on in RL before and was like WOW ALL DEM FAKE BOOBS, but I didn't recognize any of the girls) I sit down, and they announce the winner for some scene, and her name is "Miss J" or "Dr. J", or something. Anyways, she's this one softcore porn star that I never caught name. Black hair, green eyes....nice rack. That sort of thing. I was happy that she won, and I tried to remember her name. I walked off after that.

This is going to be my first DJ entry of my latest lucid dream attempt. Because if you look at my previous posts, I last posted about a year ago
And as you can imagine I eventually got tired of trying to lucid dream and I gave up

But this is my new attempt, and I know I'm going to become lucid this time. And I think it's mainly due to the fact I've just been more motivated recently then I
have in the past. A great example is how I'm working out after MANY years of being a lazy piece of...

Anyways, Now on to the actual dream


Also a little side note, I use a timer when I go to sleep now, So I can have a rough estimation of when I wake up
(Doesn't take account of the fact that it takes a while to go to sleep :S)

Zombie Cops - 5h after timer

Me and one other guy (Zach - my IRL friend) were outside a hospital. It was the zombie apocalypse and we needed a car. We saw some kid with his mother walking towards the carpark, so we took off. We sort of ghosted them for a bit . I could tell the kid knew we were following him. Anyways when we got to his car we asked for a ride. I think he assumed we were friendly. He let us in but instead we shot his mom (We had mac 10's) and wounded him. He then was in some sort of drugged up state. Forgot what happened next but we ended up at farm. At this point we had a police cruiser somehow. Anyways we're in the farm chilling on the couch with the kid and a police officer shows up. He asks how we got the car. I said something like "It was abandoned" and he was like "What do you mean?" Then I explained how we like found it in a haunted town or something, and explained something about a bunch of mantras. That when combined look like

☼²Æ↨D îa}{`
YOUNG or LOVE ----- Essentially the word Young and Love with weird symbols ontop.

I forgot why but he then started inexplicably dancing and me and Zach we're trying not to laugh, but in the ended busted out in laughter.

I also remember it feeling... Sort of real.


Anyways that's all I can remember for now.

Hot Porn

I'm re-watching an unusually good porn video. There's a strange jump cut in the middle, though, that confuses me.

Frags:

• "Thanksgiving plot (which class? hwk done?)"

Have to Study

I suddenly realize that I have only a few hours left to study for my Formal Languages final at 1:30. [Interestingly, that /is/ the actual time of the final, though at the time of dreaming I still had an entire day left to study. I woke from this dream feeling definitely anxious.]

Frags:

• "professor story"
• "psychological [illegible]"
• "borrow car, teleport?, materialize car"
• "machine gun"

Awake, Non-lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

[Note: This DJ entry contains discussion of my personal religious beliefs, which are Christian. If, for any reason, you do not want to read about them, please skip over this entry.]

I'm trying to get from one place to another by bicycle. It's right at or just after sunset on a cloudy, overcast day, so it's somewhat dark outside. I'm bicycling along sidewalks that run between buildings that are each about four or five stories tall and have lots of windows. [It actually bears a strong resemblance to some of the private college campuses I used to walk around when I was a kid.] When I try to turn a corner, a guy on a larger bike passes by really fast right in front of me, and I shout out in surprise and fear. After he has passed by, I turn the corner and go on my way. I'm carrying a large plastic bag hanging from my left handlebar. It is filled with other, crumpled-up plastic bags, as well as a heavy, black, U-shaped metal bike lock.

I'm in the sacristy [back room where robes and other special equipment are stored] at my old church. I've arrived there to meet up with a bunch of my friends from my old college Christian fellowship, who are all crowded into the room. [I think this might have been the place I was trying to get to on my bike, but I'm not absolutely sure; I don't remember the transition from one dream scene to another. Or they may have been two entirely separate dreams.] We're all there for a special church service in which all of us young adults will be honored. All my friends already have their choir robes on, and I hurry to take mine out of the closet and put it on over my clothes.

As I'm doing this, everyone starts to file out of the room, because it's time for the service to start. I'm still hunting through the shelves in the back of the closet for my shoes, saying aloud to myself, “I'm not sure if I have black shoes in here....” I came into the room wearing white shoes, which wouldn't go with my dark-purple choir robe. [They were the same kind of choir robe I used to wear at the church I attended immediately before my current one.] I find a pair of black, slip-on sandals [a pair I own in real life] on a shelf and start putting on, but I'm already being hurried out the exterior door of the sacristy, along with the rest of the procession of young adults. When we get outside, I cross the sunlit courtyard by shuffling and sliding my feet forward, still working on getting them all the way into the sandals.

Although this church building is in a different place and has a very different layout than it does in reality, I recognize it as the one I went to as a child. The sacristy door opens onto a courtyard paved with red ceramic tile and enclosed with white walls, and it's a beautiful, sunny day. We walk in a procession along the outside wall of the sanctuary, then turn left and then left again to enter the church through its large, wooden double doors. I'm still finishing up fastening the front of my choir robe as we enter.

As we enter, there is modern, rock-instrumentation-based worship music playing, the kind we used to have in fellowship meetings. Most of the pews are facing forward, except for the section nearest the front, where they are facing inward toward the center aisle. Beyond those seats is the altar area. The sanctuary is full of people, including my mom, who is sitting in an aisle seat that I pass on my right as I walk up the aisle with the procession. I'm aware that the families of my friends from the fellowship are there, too. We all process up the center aisle and take seats in the center-facing pews.

The music continues until we are all sitting down. When it ends, one of the leaders of the fellowship starts welcoming everyone to the service and talking about how its purpose is to honor the young adults of the congregation. During this speech, I realize that I accidentally dropped my knitted bag of choir books [again, something I had in real life at my previous church] in the aisle, right where my mom is sitting. I stand up and go to retrieve it, but a tall, old black lady beats me to it. She picks it up and brings it back to me.

The leader who's speaking says that we're going to start things off by playing a team-building game. [This was typically how we started off conferences in that fellowship in real life.] I smile; this is going to be fun. I look at the service bulletin and see that just about everything the leader will say is printed on it, like a script. There are even photos of the young adults who are being honored, and a list of the supplies we'll need for the team-building game. As I continue to look through the bulletin, I see that after we play this game, we'll proceed to have a regular church service, the more traditional kind we've always had at this church. I'm also aware that although some of the people in the congregation are from my Episcopal tradition, and others are from my friends' evangelical tradition, absolutely everyone present is not only okay with the idea of having a service that blends elements of both traditions, but is actually happy about it and looking forward to the rest of the service. I am, too. The whole gathering is suffused with a sense of love, peace, joy, and unity.

-----------------------------------
Side notes:
This dream was significant for me because it made me feel better about the past. It made me feel less conflicted and less torn, and gave me hope that reconciliation between those two areas of my experience is possible.

[This is a catch-up post. This dream took place on the night of December 5-6, 2012.]

Non-lucid, Semi-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm at my university, and I have to fill out and turn in a form to get rid of a dorm room that I don't want or need, because I'm living in an apartment. I go into a computer lab to work on it, and the computers have floppy disk drives. When I remember a previous episode in this ongoing plot, I realize that I'm dreaming. [I don't remember that previous episode now, though. I think the lucid part of this dream continued on from this point, but I didn't write down what happened.]

I wake up, walk into the room where I work, and go to my work computer. As I'm walking across the room, I think, Hmm, am I still dreaming? This sure looks and feels real, and gravity feels normal, but I have a sneaking suspicion... When I get to my work computer, I see an instant-message conversation on the screen, and it's between two fictional characters. Yep. Still dreaming, I think. I start trying to type up a dream journal entry on my work computer, but I find it's very difficult to type in a dream. It's really slow going; it feels like my fingers don't know what to do. [Makes sense - that part of my brain that knows learned skills like typing must not be active when I'm asleep.] After just a few sentences, I lose interest in finishing my dream journal entry.

I start floating away from my desk. A friend gives me a push to help me along. I go into another area, where there are a bunch of people having some sort of gathering, possibly a picnic [I don't really remember now]. I decide I want to try making myself bigger. I crouch down on all fours, close my eyes, and concentrate on expanding the size of my body. At first, I don't think it's working because I don't feel any sensation, but when I open my eyes, I discover that it worked: I'm now huge compared to the DCs.

I wake up at somebody's house, having spent the night there after a party. I drive myself home, but get lost along the way. While I'm driving, my alarm clock wakes me up for real.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID


I had pretty good recall this night and have only slight gaps in my memory. Just another normal dream, the only strange thing about it was it's unusual focus on the test theme, my dreams tend to be less consistent.

In my dream I was back in high school. I was going to have to take several subject’s final tests that week, and the first was on Monday. I had to present a story for it, with the condition that it should place emphasis on the noises heard during the story.

As I start to write the story I enter it, and live it as I write it. In this story there was a newlywed couple inside a dark cave. I took them out because of some problems related to ants. When we got out we found that the cave was inside a volcano, and it became active. In my story I wrote that the lava looked real, and not fake like in some movies, but my vision in the dream was that of fake looking lava. It looked sort of like bubbling ketchup, a very bright and shiny red.

Looking around I saw that we were on a sandy desert. It was a sunny day and we had to make our way across the desert trying to avoid an evil man that was patrolling back and forth.

A few days later I had to take the test. I was nervous because I couldn't use my story for some reason, and once in the test I got called to the blackboard to make an exercise (This was weird because the exercise was not part of the exam)
I decided to write the story for my exam about my own experiences on the blackboard once I got back to my seat. Since the story was supposed to put emphasis on sounds I decided to highlight the sound of the chalk. I had to switch blackboards later on. The first one was to the right of the class, while the second one was in the front.

By the time I changed blackboards my chalk was very worn down and couldn't write on the blackboard. All it did was displace dust on it, making the letters slightly visible because that part was cleaner by comparison. I had to get a new longer one, but even so I was writing in a place I shouldn't because the examiner (a female teacher) said something about having to place the blackboard now.

Suddenly a male teacher entered the room and said I couldn't take the exam because I had gone over the three day limit of possible absences to the subject. He showed us in the class computer that I had two subjects with "lost evaluations" and two with "reduced evaluations" He told me that if I wanted it to get straightened out I best go see the teacher in charge of it.

I felt nervous and complained that thanks to being called to the chalkboard I haven't had time to even begin the exam yet and with this I wouldn't have time to finish it, but it was no use.
I went through the corridor (which was pretty much the same as the corridor of my real high school) and reached another classroom. The male teacher followed me and led me to talk to V, a real teacher in my high school who died a couple of years after I left it in real life.

I was on a charter bus going to what I believed to be a younglife camp (youth group retreat) like I had just previously done IRL last weekend. At some point we turn onto a street and start heading up this steep hill. In the dream I'm thinking on how there's no way that the bus can make it up the hill, and soon enough it stops and starts to roll backwards. This hill is easily 1,000 feet in my mind. Everyone starts to freak out as my choir director Mr. B starts to shout that everything is going to be okay. By this point we're somehow in a building that looks like something from the video game Dead Space. I run into another room and cause some sort of mischief, I don't really remember, but some latina cleaning woman comes over and starts to inspect the trouble I caused. She looks really suspiciously at me, then my IRL friend named Katie C. tells me that I'm kicked out of the retreat. I beg her and she says "no", then I beg again, and immediately she changes her mind, which was really bizarre but my mind didn't pick up on it. Finally we are back on the bus and we arrive at the camp. It looks like two really crappy buildings in a desert, so I'm having second thoughts. Suddenly, I decide that I would like to go home and am on what I presume to be my friend Mason's motorcycle. I'm happy that I can ride this motorcyle home because I've never driven one, but then I realize I can't leave Mason stranded without a ride so I turn back. I'm on this bridge on some highway where I see the camp in the distance so I ramp off the side onto another highway road. There are no cars, so I cut back and turn around to ride to the camp again. Then something else happens but I wake up.

I was looking at a book. I was with friends, but I don't see them. They're just beside me, I think. They were sharing two or three other spells, and I am sharing my own. I think we were writing them on the book, which looks really old. Or maybe we were reading them from the book. Can't quite remember.

When I first became aware of the dreaming, I was at Lauren's house ( a girl whom i had a crush on). my best fri end was sitting on the floor infront of her couch and she and her friend denise were onthe couch. they offered edwin and i a book of stickers which we immediately began calling dibs on.

we go out to the back porch and members of my family are there, tho i only remember my grandpa. we exchange words and leave the property, to discover a war zone going on. i noticed a safe way to get up and around the battle field, and we follow some of the soldier led envoys up a hill.

once at the top, i enter a house that turns out to be my cousins home. im talking to jackie, and pablito comes out and takes me to his room to try and sell me things like gameboys and drugs. his mom comes in and kicks us out, but i dont want to leave and i stare at his mom and realize its not his mom and, i became lucid.

his mom becomes a girl from a class i took, and i begin to kiss her. we start making out and touching on pablitos bed. she opens her legs are lifts up her shirt.

then i am in a car with my uncle javier talking about his song he wants to record, and my dad calls me saying he wants me to go back to my grandpas because he didnt think i really wewnt home. i tell him to fuck off and his voice becomes biancas (a close cousin of mine) and shes hysterical saying how i only think of myself. i start screaming its my life not yours and my uncle gives me signs of approval.

12.11.2012

Sivason Makes a Movie and Large Deku-like Tree (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This whole dream is a reflection of my meditation and concepts I learned in the yoga class, or at least the dream trying to attempt the associations through that.

And it could mean personal stuff as well, but I'm not really good at interpreting that much.

Sivason makes a movie that involved a lot of abstract techniques in eradicating questionable entities around this really really big tree.

I reminded me of the Deku Tree from Ocarina of time, but this tree was VERY big. It had this weird vibe where I could feel closure and solace, but it was so still, which is obvious for tree, but still, to have so much energy from something that seemed so inanimate was weird.

I felt like I was inside of Sivason's movie, and he would narrate occasionally, often telling me a few helpful tips in how to kill these weird creatures. He had a deep and relaxing tone, and he said things nice and slowly where I could actually comprehend everything compared to other dream characters that are just.......sporadic.

The creatures themselves were scary as hell, there was this snake like creature that has this Oriental Hat of some kind you would see with Dragon cosplay or whatever you call it where people would go under a dragon outfit and march around with 2-3 people sustaining its composition in a parade or something like that.

It's exterior was a dark blue with some shiny reflections. The hat, or whatever it was wearing, consisted of colors of pink, white, yellow, green, and maybe some red in a few places. I think the solution in killing it was through a high speed and separate circular chain saw piece, and this creature was fairly enduring, even in death.

It seems that this area with the huge tree is actually FLOATING above a LARGE body of water. And it's like old game graphics looking water where you can see the ripples spreading out, like the picture below if you pay attention to the reflection of the surface Link is above:

The same snake hat creature I mentioned landed on the water, and while floating, I thought it would at least be devirtualized or something (kind of like in Code Lyoko where the digital sea basically removes you completely if you go into it).

It takes maybe 5 seconds before the snake starts to vibrate abnormally and splits in half from the circular chainsaw. There was at least one ReDead creature on the floating island, and it could JUMP.

Just.....it's scary just coming in contact with these slow creatures, but actually JUMPING? That sets the scariness level waaay up. Then there's another weird creature that comes out of dead bodies, and it ends up being some kind of zombified paper mache chicken.

Like the snake creature, it had colors of green, white, yellow, and this time, violet. It didn't have "skin" like the snake, but its composition with being a paper mache type of creature resembled the same form of the snake's hat, which was probably paper mache as well.

Sivason informs me that using a red item kills a certain creature, and then some silverish items kills another creature. So I end up following his instructions and probably killed all of those scary entities.

Maybe I wanted to go inside of the Deku Tree, maybe not, but I did have a purpose on this island, and maybe I'll check later on through meditation.

_________________________

12.11.2012

Twitter for Shirtless People (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

That's right, twitter has some feature where people can post pictures of themselves shirtless, and they can even go topless if they wanted to.

Or they could link to a picture or video that involves them being shirtless or topless. It was weird, because everyone in the crowd was going crazy on how awesome this was, and I jump in the bandwagon effect and started thinking,

"GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS!" (not literally, but my emotions clearly portrayed I was sustained by that mentality)

Me and the group of peopl were trying to find the original link to a video that claimed to have a lot of shirtless and topless people. I don't know if the link ended up being fake, but we were going nuts to find the link location.

_________________________

12.11.2012

People Want Sex (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

All remember from this is that there's a list of people who state what they're into sexually, and there's all sorts of random features.

There's a list that ranks women based on their level of salaciousness, and some even had nicknames like "Scarface." I wonder how she got the name Scarface.......

Most of these girls names had familiar vibes to them, and a lot of them reminded me of High School chicks I used to know.

I was kind of shocked how many of these girls would expose themselves so sexually on the internet. There was another girl that wasn't really attractive, but god, her level of being so sexually expressive of herself was out of this world.

(18+)


************

She's showing a picture of herself with two dildos in her vagina and asshole, and she's ramming the the backdoor like there's no freaking tomorrow.

She's into anal, and some other hardcore stuff.


There were more girls with slutty profiles and fetishes, but I can't remember them all


************

Was in a big complex of some sort where a schooltrip was going on. I was at the restaurant with some of my friends, one of which was planning to create his own rum. I return to the dorms but I can't find my room. I then run all the way to the entrance where the complex had a shop. I had a purpose for going there but I can't quite figure out what it was. Once I get there I start looking around. They had all sorts of stuff, including games. I take a look at the games and one of the shop assistants starts talking to me in english (even though I live in the Netherlands). I reply in english of course, but soon we started talking dutch again. After our talk the shop assistant leaves and I meet an old classmate. We talk for a while but the dream then ends.