non-lucid

Okay I thought this was the first day of the winter comp so I wrote up all my nonlucids. I actually came down with a... well i sick.

There is some kind of war going on an I have been drafted into the air force. I am flying in the rear seat of an A-10 warthog. (Which google says is a single-seat aircraft, though the dream made it very clear that it was this specific model of aircraft) as a gunner/ewar officer. We get shot by a missile though the pilot in front (a woman with curly red-orange hair and freckles) says we still have partial power to one engine and manages to land us on a long stretch of road rather than having us eject.

We then land. This looks like the road that I use to drive home from work and we are facing in the same direction. There is some damage to some buildings like cracked windows or bullet holes and very few people and cars but despite the war theme of the dream things seem relatively normal. She wants to get back to base with our damaged aircraft even though it is many miles away, and we begin to taxi along the road as though we are a car. Though with our wingspan we take up the whole road and go own the middle.

Eventually we come to some stuck traffic and our commander (who also wants to recover our aircraft) says we have permission to shoot the cars on the road to clear the way. Neither me nor the pilot have any issue with this so I begin shooting cars with our missiles. We only have four missiles and when we run out I start using the autocannon each time we come across cars blocking our aircraft.

Eventually the landing gear breaks on a pothole and we are forced to get out. The commander concedes that we will not be able to get the aircraft back to base so me and the pilot decide to get out.

There is what sort of looks submarine beached in the middle of a farm field. It is broken in half and laying in pieces with smoke and flames coming out. We contact our commander to ask him why there is a submarine in the middle of a farm field and he explains that it was actually an experimental stealth spaceship carrying nuclear ICBMs that fell out of orbit when the battle began. He says that we need to scuttle the wreckage using one of the nukes. I go get close to it and find the nuclear warhead laying on the ground. It looks like a black cone like the warhead of an ICBM but I notice it appears to be damaged and I start to feel sick. I try quickly to set it on a timer using a small control panel but the thing is completely broken, so I run away from it and hide behind a brick wall in a collapsed barn/warehouse. I tell the commander that there is only one nuke and it is leaking radiation and that I might get radiation sickness. He pauses for a moment and then says he will have a helicopter come and bomb the spaceship wreck along with destroy our plane and recover us, and that we need to fall back because there is a whole platoon of enemy ground troops advancing in our area of the battlefield.

-+-

I am visiting Erid (project hail mary). Though I am able to walk around on the planet with no space suit and no real problem, though everything is very dim and I carry with me a powerful ball shaped lantern that lets me see in all directions. I meet Adrian (Rocky's mate, who was mentioned in the book but never shown). They are an Eridian fighter/boxer of some sort. About 50% bigger than Rocky with a thick almost spherical body rather than a more flat one. Their arms are thick and have spikes near the joints and the 'fingers' have a narrow sort of "blade" growing out of the tip made out of a whiteish material.

Despite this menacing appearance and presence Adrian is very friendly and excited to tell about their career as a fighter.

-+-

There was something to do with the master cheif from halo.

I was in my old neighborhood at night coming up the hill I used to run. It is warm as though it is late spring or early autumn and the last of twilight is just fading away. I become fully lucid and begin to fly. It doesn't seem to be my usual flying but rather a slow sort of swimming through the air that never gets me more than a few meters off the ground.

I tell myself that there will be a means or indication to stabilize the dream. I see a tree with dreamcatchers hanging from the branches. I take one off and loop it around my neck which increases the clarity. I then land, deciding that I want to convert the dream to daytime. I set down, no longer flying.

I then reach up for the sky. I really start to question my method of dream control here, recalling something from the robert waggoner book about thinking of the dream as a mental space rather than a physical space. But I still want to use a physical method of dream control. I begin pawing vaguely at the night sky, rotating the moon and stars along with it. I rotate the entire planet 360 degrees with a few pawing motions until the moon rises and is roughly in the same spot. No sun. I then remember that I should probably rotate the earth east-west. I try rotating to the west one or two swipes and the sun appears, though it is in the northern sky, roughly where polaris would be.

Neil deGrasse Tyson appears and says "Damn it we almost had the three-body problem solved and you hippies had to come and screw it up!"

About time I caught up with this dream journal. I've been too busy with other stuff. All the following dreams were non-lucid.


Night Before Monday 21st November

I dreamt a racing driver who had been about to retire had returned for another race, but only to run tests which meant that his car was set up to remain stationary on the track. He could rev the engine and run through the gears but there was apparently no drive to the wheels. At least one other driver was doing the same thing.


Night Before Tuesday 22nd November

I had a fairly vivid and exciting, non-lucid dream. The first part I remember was one of my recurring DREAM SIGNS of being in an unfamiliar part of the world or the country, having some kinds of obstructions trying to find my way home. We were riding in a taxi with a foreign driver. My mother was talking to me about something about not wanting to offend the driver and I was telling her to be quiet (as he could hear).

We came to a deeply flooded section of a widish road through countryside, with trees either side. The driver hesitated and asked us which way we came through here before. I think my mother answered that we came by boat / ferry. I think he might have said "Oh." as he realised he was faced with a problem.

The road was so flooded it just looked like a deep river. Without saying anything he confidently drove into the water, maintaining a surprisingly high speed [which in reality would've made a wave of water flow into the air intake of the engine] much to my excitement, probably slight apprehension and, as I could see the driver was succeeding, admiration at his skills. We reached a part where the water seemed to get even deeper and he instinctively moved over to a slightly shallower area to the left hand side.

I remember feeling jubilantly excited after we made it through the water, loudly telling him he is awesome and [this bit is fading] I feel like this blended into an experience of sharing this story with other friends or colleagues who weren't in the car when it happened.


23rd - 26th November

I had an unremarkable dream about carrier bags on the kitchen floor and a couple of unpleasant dreams showing apparently deceased animals.


Night before Sunday 27th November

I dreamt there were lots of animals in the kitchen. The kitchen looked different [DREAM SIGN: Room changed]. They seemed to be loads of large birds initially, like crows possibly. I was conscious that I needed to keep the door shut to prevent them spreading into the rest of the house. As I kept looking at them I saw a strange animal that I couldn't immediately identify as a bird or mammal, that seemed to be on all fours, quite stocky, about the size of a medium to large dog, with a broad, rounded head. It looked purple. I called it a griffin. Shortly after this I saw a bird of prey in the kitchen as well and a smallish chimpanzee that approached the doorway. I was a bit nervous that the chimpanzee might be aggressive but someone reassured me they lived in this home, so presumably domesticated. The doorway now seemed to be open and I was standing in a long narrow hallway running from left to right behind the kitchen door [DREAM SIGN: Unfamiliar room]. The chimpanzee started to look a little more human as it got to the doorway. It may have been wearing glasses or human clothes.


Night before Monday 28th November

I dreamt I was standing in my grandparents' front garden, looking at their quite large house. I noticed short rounded towers sticking out on the front left corner of the house. Possibly later in the dream I noticed there was a separate one on each storey. I think they each had a window of some kind. I did start to question this because I was starting to wonder whether you could enter them from the downstairs dining room and upstairs master bedroom. This is where my subconscious started to change things to explain it. At first I thought there was a bay window on the tower in the bedroom, then I realised I was actually seeing towers on the house opposite my grandparents' house, which looked quite similar. When I turned back and looked at my grandparents' house again, the towers had shrunken a lot in diameter so they barely looked like towers anymore and obviously couldn't be entered from inside the house. Still didn't get lucid or question this further. [Seeing my Grandparents' house and seeing unusual adornments on a building are DREAM SIGNS as are the changes of perspective and the objects when I tried to question things].


Night before Tuesday 29th November

No dream recall. I have the vaguest notion it might have been another dream about travelling away from home but I really don't know.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At an office with coworkers but during the weekend. Some team building thing, which includes a sleepover at the office. First day all goes smoothly and we do our meetings and activities normally. Then at night we party, and from thereon all descends into chaos and debauchery, with lots of booze and sex. Some guy passed out and others put him on the xerox machine with his pants down and are printing dozens of photocopies of his butt. Maybe someone drugged us, I wonder. Next day, when I start feeling sober, I notice there's security cameras all over and I panic, because I remember doing some sex stuff right under some of the cameras. I tell my colleagues about it and they don't care. Some claim the cameras must be turned off, but I go check a central console that provides info on the cameras and I confirm they are on. Unfortunately, for security reasons, the console does not give access to the recordings nor allows to shut it down, it is just informative stuff. I then think if the office is all clean and tidy, maybe nobody will feel curious to see the recordings. If someone does and finds out what happens, they might end up on the web on some porn website and it will be the end of me. So I start taking out the trash and tidying things up frantically, in an effort to hide whatever happened during the night. The others really don't care and are already waiting for their ubers and lyfts. I find a document briefcase that seems abandoned. Nobody claims it and it is indeed mostly empty except for a crumbled paper inside, some kind of dirt at the bottom and something sticky in a pocket. It looks old and dirty and certainly should go to the trash, but first I look into all its pockets and crevices, as I always tend to find something useful or important left behind. And there is indeed a small blue plastic box, the kind that usually contains jewellery. I open it up and also contains some crumbled small pieces of paper, but beneath it isa bunch of necklaces and earrings that look like gold, but I am not sure. Then Fernanda looks over and she says "Oh, that's gold alright, 35 karats." And I am like "How can you tell?" And she just smirks and I remember she is into fashion and all things luxury, so I trust her judgement. Others call me a lucky bastard and I put it away before they start getting ideas. There's a few thousand euros in gold right there.

* The night before last I dreamt I was at school [one of my biggest DREAM SIGNS but still didn't get lucid]. I had a toy gun. It had an unusual extra cylinder underneath the barrel. This made me question whether it was the accurate replica it was supposed to be but a colleague just told me I was wrong and I accepted it [need to keep questioning more]. I tried to hide the toy in a bag, then things got really weird because I decided I needed to move over all the furniture in the room to make more space, to the point where it would start passing over the edge of the room into the next one!

* Last night was quite an odd dream scene as well. I was in some kind of bar area or lounge with quite a lot of people around. I think I was sitting at a table. A young woman was asking me to list hairstyles that I disliked. I really have no idea what was going on but I sensed that the people around me did. Perhaps it was some kind of wind-up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

People snapped and turned cannibals. I am barricated with Zilla and some other folks at a school, but we gotta move somewhere else. We know of some secure underground complex which has as entrance at the city park.
Strangely, downtown life seems to still be going very much as normal and we assume the madness hasn't spread here yet, but will. We even pass by some kids from another school playing football at their yard, oblivious. But we don't say a word to anyone. We reach the underground bunkers and there are plenty food reserves down there. We know that when the crisis is all over the place, eventually the government will come and use these bunkers, but we hope that if we're already there, they'll allow us to stay or else we'll fight to stay. The bunker spreads out into weird caves all over seven floors. On one floor there is a giant ballroom with black and white chess floor.

This morning after being woken up and going back to sleep I dreamt I was driving a silver Japanese looking saloon/sedan car, and I stopped outside a doctor's to drop off my girlfriend. It didn't look like a doctor's as it was a huge boxy building a bit like a large warehouse or sports centre. While I was waiting for her to come back from the appointment someone was telling vehicle owners to drive round the back of the building. Then I got told to move my car too and I didn't want to, so I asked if I couldn't wait there and he said no not if I wasn't booked in [for that time]. I started to quickly drive the car away along a road extending at 90 degrees away from the wall of the building. I was hurrying but I was unfamiliar with this car's controls. At this point I noticed that it was dark [I can't honestly remember it being dark when I was first outside the doctor's but I am unsure] and hadn't turned on my headlights but didn't know where the switch was on this car. I guessed that it was a small sliding switch on the left stalk and this could've been a DREAM SIGN because the dream seemed to sort of falter for an instant and update itself with the switch apparently being just as I imagined yet the sense of uncertainty still remained so I still felt a little uncertain -- or maybe the part of my subconscious constructing the dream felt uncertain -- whether the headlights had really come on or not.

As I approached a T-junction the car kept slowly rolling forward even though I was trying to hold the brake.

I don't remember many other dream scenes. I think there was something about a camper van.

Two dudes watch a sitcom, there's a scene of a kid bribing his teachers to graduate early which he successfully does. The dudes visit the set as the teacher hands a bag of cookies the child baked, then handed another bag saying "don't eat those, he likes being creative" *canned laughter*

The dudes consider giving the cookies to the YouTubers analysing sitcoms in full length video.

As they eat the normal and "creative" cake, they realise they's no fourth wall as they are stuck in a sitcom themselves, what happens next is a series of crazy events in the style of 2000s Wayans/Scary movie/stoner films as the dudes travel through Berlin using taxis and eventually it pans to the sky as they're on a flying train.

They then end up at an hotel talking to a woman who rejects them, I see this happen and walk through the hotel lobby, going back realising I had left my phone behind which I couldn't find anymore.

A rural town W.Va

expand on the feeling of a dream

I was a drifter - the mind frame of a drifter
expansion of meta-view of (TOM)
expansion of inner personal dialogue

Dream Twelve (10.16.2022)

I was riding SheiKra but it was going incredibly slow to "test" the coaster. (What an annoying dream for someone like me who goes to the amusement parks as much as she can!)

Dream Thirteen (10.17.2022)

My fiancé, mom, brother, and I all went to this vacation spot that was a vast indoor beach labyrinth. There were Roman columns and poolrooms. (I have an interest in vaporwave, liminal spaces, and the Backrooms. I believe that's where this aesthetic keeps coming from! I had dreams featuring this aesthetic before those internet genres were a thing but related heavily when I discovered them.) When you first entered the labyrinth, the columns directly ahead appeared to go into an ocean on the horizon. Everything had a hazy blue tint. Then my mom got mad at me for no reason. I left the labyrinth in retaliation. Outside was a random grey city. I somehow learned telepathically from someone my mom apparently got lost inside. I woke up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At my grandmother's in Moita with my cousin Cris. I look through a window on the back and the garden outside is really green and lush but something awful is happening. Some black woman is on the ground trying to ressuscitate her baby girl who is lying inanimate on the grass. Then some man approaches and tries to help but the baby isn't responding. At first I don't feel like I can help and I just watch them doing CPR and hoping for the best. The baby wakes up and stabilizes for a while. They put her on a carrier and she soon passes out again and stops breathing. They do CPR again and again but the baby keeps stop breathing. I decide to jump outside and try to help. I examine the baby and I think I know what's up. I reanimate her and don't put her on the carrier, instead put her against my shoulder and walk around until she burps and barfs and expels a lot of bile that was continuously coming up and blocking her breath. She then stabilizes and I tell the mother the baby suffers from really bad reflux and needs to be checked out but will live if treated.

* I was in front of a vehicle by the side of what may have been quite a straight road in a natural setting, probably surrounded by forest. My father had written a messsage on the hood/bonnet of the car talking about the reason why he had been "HIDING" [from me]. In response I started to draw two yellow birthday balloons on there for him. I vividly remember concentrating on forming the shapes, or rather I had the impression that I was doing so, as now I think about it, I had suddenly noticed a mistake in the picture, a bulge at the bottom of the ballon below the neck that I then erased, but I am pretty sure that just appeared in the dream and I didn't draw it. The last thing I remember on the balloons is adding a very cliched stylised reflection of a window on the top left of one of them.

* There was an illustration of the pitfalls of naive unregulated libertarianism¹. A libertarian had a large sack of oats (also looked a bit like flour) and was somehow toasting them inside the paper sack. They only seemed to be cooking near the bottom of the sack but more to the point they got pretty burnt. This was how the libertarian liked their oats. The downside and moral of this story though was that this sack was a communal supply of food and in thoughtlessly exercising their liberty, they had ruined the food for everyone else.

* I was in a large spare bedroom in my mother's house. One of my friends from school was there looking the same as he did as a young teenager. He was writing on some sheets of paper which turned out to be roleplaying as a secret agent but I highly concerned because the adversaries he was engaging with were real. Although it wasn't directly referenced I got a sense he was only doing it for fun. I worridly asked him why he was doing it, telling him that those people were psychopaths who would never stop endangering his life. He is a smoker and his answer was to ask whether I had smoked. I said yes. He asked whether that had given me lung cancer. I said I hoped not. His point was obviously that we take risks in life and he obviously believed he would get away with it.

* Again in the same spare bedroom, I was writing a long, multipage letter to someone who I get the sense lived far away. At the end of the letter I had stapled details of a (non-serious) hospital appointment I had, then I realised (perhaps someone told me) that I would need to present that paperwork at the appointment so I couldn't send it to my friend. I removed it and put it to one side. Later I was writing a love letter and there was a row of about five small red hearts at the bottom.

1.Without wanting to bring too much politics into this, I think civil liberties for individuals should be defended but that it shouldn't be an excuse to let big business trash the planet, violate human rights etc.

I own a pair of wireless earbuds; they're black. In the dream snippet I was in my room with two of the black pairs plus a pair in white. My earbuds have L and R on them despite being the same shape and looking neutral. But in the dream I was thinking that if I couldn't match the correct case they'd either not charge or even break. Not an issue for the white pair in a white case, but the black ones? And it didn't help that I had one extra black earbud marked not L or R, but 73A. So five black earbuds. Well as long as I was confused I decided to try and charge both L's and listen with them and do the same with both R's, just to see if they'd sync to each other. I guess I was willing to risk breaking them all? And then figure out what the 73A one did. There was someone I didn't know with me who was going to help me with this, but I woke up.

The night before last's dreams included a strange box of chocolates with a hole in the bottom that had an ingredient that hadn't been approved for human consumption and there were health concerns. I had a beer and a second unidentified alcoholic drink beside it in another restaurant and was presented with a strange sort of poster, perhaps instead of a menu, with stylised artwork a bit like a tarot card of one figure harming another.

Last night I saw a historic town on a coastal cliff edge subject to erosion. When I looked down over the edge of the cliff, there were many more buildings at the bottom, as if they had fallen down there but they looked strangely undamaged. They were old buildings, in about the same age and style as those at the top of the cliff. I got a sense that those at the bottom were probably mostly abandoned. I saw a town hall at the bottom of the cliff and another one looking more or less identical at the top--possibly the replacement?

Later I was walking along the beach. I think it was sandy. There were other people accompanying me but they were quite some distance away. Either family members or friends of family. There were ancient buildings on top of high rocks sticking up from the sand. I saw a large square or rectangular temple. It may have had an open roof or courtyard; I don't have a clear memory of the detail now. My companions seemed to want to walk away somewhere possibly to where they could get to some of the buildings and I think I told them, or at least thought to myself, that I could climb up the rock to the temple.

I wanted to try for a DEILD after waking up from this dream but there were too many distractions and I was too aware of the need to get up today.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In a large room with groups of people talking, making lots of noise, confusion. I can't handle it, so I leave. It's in some kind of hotel where I am staying. I know that NightHawk is also staying here. It is late night, but he has insomnia and is hanging around in the lobby. He sits over some bench and doesn't notice when I approach. I sit by his side and grab his hand. He is surprised and happy to see me. Asks why I am here, I tell him about whatever I was doing in the big room (some networking event or whatever) and I would, in the past, be able to enjoy the chaos and take notes about the dramas between the people and write stories about, but now I am just tired and overwhelmed and have to leave. We talk and we get cozy and we're both giggly and then we kiss. I am so hungry for him, I kiss him like a maniac. He complains I am not even taking a breath and therefore I am suffocating him too. I laugh. He says he needs to go the toilet. While I wait for him to come back, I am approached by my aunt's personal assistant and helpers. Apparently my aunt Ludovina is filthy rich. They ask me why I am here and say that my aunt is crazy worried looking for me and sent them to get me. She was throwing a party for me somewhere else, but when she found out I was at this hotel, she moved the party here. They tell me the party will be at a hotel floor they booked entirely for us. Then I watch an absurd parade of workers carrying lots of food and gifts into the hotel. Like, one person is pulling a cart full of exotic fruits, then three black men carry three canoes on their heads full of what seems to be fish and seafoood, plus a whole army of caterers with other yummi things. When NightHawk comes back, the parade is over, but I tell him what happened and that my aunt demands my presence, so I invite him to the party. On the party's floor, the first room actually looks sad and gloomy, with some family members and nothing much happening. I say I hope it gets better and they tell me to go explore the rest of the rooms. The next room is a prank/game and is full of fake cobwebs and an upside down piano. I don't know exactly what I should do, but seems like I need to get through the maze of cobwebs. Then I notice there is a real spider on top of the piano, not very big, but there are mirrors positioned in a way that makes it look gigantic. I still don't understand the game, but my family teases me by saying there will be a few more surprises and then there is the banquet awaiting us.

I am at a university, like studying there and a young Colin Farrel is visiting friends or whatever. I see him through the corner of my eye that he is talking to people sitting to my side on a long concrete structure that serves as a bench. Eventually he sits down right next to me and he accidentaly bumps into me. I look to the side and he says sorry and smiles. I smile back and he introduces himself as some unintelligible african name. I excuse him but I say I know he is Colin. He asks my name and I say it but he is having trouble understanding or he is playing with me and makes me say it many times and finally spell it out. We make a bit of small talk but eventually he turns to his friends demanding his attention. I drop some papers on the ground, a bit by accident, a bit on purpose and get on my knees to get to see if he helps. He does offer help but I already finished gathering the papers, so no luck. Then his freinds get up and invite him to go to a canteen for lunch. Not the normal one where I usually eat but a fancier one. We look at each other and smile again and he asks if I wanna join. I say sure. I pick my stuff up in a hurry and go after them, but then meet some of my friends on the way who distract me and I lose them. I still go there, because I know the place, but they are already sitting and eating and I need to get the food first. There are no more plates and I can't find anyone to help me with that. Some girl helps me out with the drink dispenser and somehow I get some alcoholic beverage spilled in my head accidentally. When I am grabbing some cutlery I get closer to them and I hear Colin tell his friend that he likes me and can't take his eyes of me, but that I am a bit too plain and he can do so much better. His friend tells him he is being an idiot and overestimating himself because besides being famous he is not that special either. I find it funny that is friend is so brutal. I keep having trouble joining them because there are no more seats available near them, but I hear their conversation a bit longer and his friend is encouraging him to ask me out on a date. And mentions some advice from their friend Lisa Gerrard about relationships. My mind then goes on a rush thinking I don't really wanna be Mrs. Farrel, I just would like to date him for fun as it would increase my "market value" but in my heart I am thinking of NightHawk.