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I feel like now i am able to recall my dreams at will, i always know how it will happen and what I have to do. I just lay in bed and ask myself what my dreams were, and they COME to me. Even when I'm sure I didn't have any, they will always come.

I could remember two dreams, they were both pretty vivid and LONG, I remember the first one in most detail and can't recall a lot of the second one.


I don't remember who I was, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't myself. I had recently out of the blue decided to escape wherever I was and run away. I was in this giant forest where there was a scientific facility. When there was no one around, I started running into the forest. I walked for a little bit, then the slope began to get higher and the foliage thicker. That was when I came to this huge ravine; the drop below was like a bottomless pit. It was all very beautiful however. When I was there, this helicopter flew over me and it was carrying this large what looked like white panel that was probably going to be used for construction. It fell off of the helicopter and came crashing down, taking a couple trees with it and went down into the ravine. I was scared the helicopter would see me, so I hide low among the trees. When the helicopter was gone, I ran, following the edge ravine and in the general direction of where I believed another facility to be. I eventually came to a building where there were lots of people. I managed to sneak in. At some points I had to fight people but I kept running towards the exit. Fast-forward after I pretty much escaped, I was in this Target (the store) and that was where I met this girl who must've been around 20ish, I was around the same age as her although as I previously stated, I wasn't the one having this dream. Anyway for some reason I asked her if she wanted to join me on the run and she said yes. It was decided, we did some things together for a little bit, then the dream fades.

Another dream I had that I was just remembering now; I was at this village with my father and it was getting to be nighttime, I went for a walk for some reason and my dad told me to be careful, I think he was warning me about werewolves and some other evil creatures. There was ALOT more to this dream but I simply can't remember it.

Back To School
I arrive at my home town football oval. I can see my brother in the distance kicking to the football. It's pretty packed and the cricket nets are full also. I see dad is here in his car. He may have dropped me off. I walk into the club rooms where there's quite a few people. It looks to be the first day of school because they're sorting out who goes it what class. I hear my name called out and I try to get their attention. Eventually they hear me and I walk over to the table where they called my name. It's a lady I'm talking to, and I ask her a serious but stupid question. I ask what year I completed last year. I think it was either 10 or 11. I feel lucky to be completing school as I know how important it is to work hard at it. I feel mature and willing to do so.

I get a phone call from someone that works for welfare. I explain a bit of my situation to her and she tells me that she may be able to get me on some sort of help. I break down, as I don't expect to hear that someone is willing to help. I explain how hard it is for me.

I'm back at the footy ground and I'm surfing behind the goals. There's a few levels where people sit, which have turned into sets of waves. I'm with a few people I know. I struggle to get onto some of the waves, as I can't find the right one to ride.

I'm in a mix of Daryl's old house and the top of where the waves were. Ronda Rousey offers me some cake that's been shaped into a picture of her. I say I only want a small piece and cut her head off the cake. She finds this ballsy and a sign of someone that really backs themselves.

I was back in high school, with my old spanish teacher. We were planning to have some kind of party or lunch together to celebrate the end of the year. I remember my high school crush was there (even though she wasn't in my class or never even took spanish in the first place.) Only, her name was different. I started talking with her.

I remember the teacher asked me to get some chips and salsa from the store and bring it in tomorrow. I told her I would. We went out in the hallway and everyone was waiting outside of the principals office because we needed to request to use the space.

I remember I started hoping that I would lucid dream. Once my crush left, I had nobody to talk to. I started to get really bored. I began to think about lucid dreaming and remembered my goals. I then hoped that I would get lucid when I went to bed that night.

I decided I should do reality checks. I did a mental reality check. I asked myself how I got here, and had a false memory that my dad drove me to school so I could help out with the spanish class lunch. False memories barricaded the traditional route. I then did a nose pinch, but I don't think I paid close attention. I then decided to look at my wrists to see if my bracelets were there, since that was what got me lucid before. They were.

"Great. I know i'm lucid now. But this isn't a dream."

Edit: Some other part that I forgot to mention while I first wrote this. I had come home, from school. Marcus was there, but in the dream he was my dad. He told me he was very happy because he had just printed out a the circuit board for his new project. He showed me a brown PCB with two large computer chips and many other components soldered onto it.

I wanted to see what he was working on. On the kitchen table of my house he had all these wires and computer parts layed out. In the middle was this big glass bubble with two copper coils on either side of it and some kind of energy in the middle.

My dad was talking during the night and this woke me up. I decided I would do a wake back to bed.

I kind of have to kind of censor/rewrite the first part of this dream because it has major spoilers for a story that I am writing.

Anyways, I was in a dark alley with my friends S and C. I felt like we were somewhere on my college campus. But we were also inside of the world of my old comic strip (something I don't mind spoiling, though this dream gives me nothing to spoil. Also, being in the world of a story, that's a dream sign.) S was concerned about being in the dark, but was relieved when I told him we were in the world of my old comic.

I remember telling him that my old comic and my new story actually exist in the same world. (Not actually true) And that my new story has horror elements. (True). We kind of got into a panic and started to run out of the dark, because we thought that some kind of monster would show up.

I remember looking into a grassy area and there were a ton of dead trees. I faintly saw ghosts moving between the trees and started to get more scared. We started to run up a ramp heading to the 'english complex', a fictional part of the college campus that the dream had created.

I remember this face floated down in front of me. That of a girl, but she had snakes coming out from behind her head, and had no eyes. I was scared, but I felt like it was something that was just "trying to be scary" and just pictured it fading away, and it did.

We got up into the daylight at the english campus. My friends left, and I 'remembered' (yet another false memory) that I had a painting project. I 'remembered' that we had to practice our paints just a little bit. I got out my paints and sat at a table. This other person (I can't remember if it was a boy or girl, but they had black hair.) sat with me.

I remember telling them about the project and that I wanted to paint Cyborg from Teen Titans. I remember I painted a bust shot of him that looked pretty decent but I messed up on the shoulder and there was a big black blob. The paint behaved like watercolor and was quite hard to control. I remember telling the person that I was sitting with that I didn't think it mattered because I was going to wake up in a minute.

I think I may have had my bracelets in this one too. I vaguely remember having them on early in the dream, when we were in the dark/scary area.

Lots of semi lucidity. Lots of false memories. Lots of those bracelets. I wonder if I can use those bracelets for consistent lucidity.

Morning of July 27, 2015. Monday.



After spending intimate time with Zsuzsanna in reality, I then enter the usual “portal” of apex lucidity with the lighter form of sleep paralysis (this being always effortless and automatic but different than the other type, which has sound and augmented touch but no imagery at all and a completely different awareness than the other form), the thin white lines (always starting with a “spark” that seems to “fall”, creating a door or impression of a door) quickly forming a fairly bright and highly detailed outdoor setting, rapidly changing several times (mostly in the background) but then stabilizing. My setting comes as an alternate version and fictional perspective of where the alley behind our house is implied to be (and looking due north). Even though I am blissfully looking into our backyard (and clearly recognize it as such), everything is different. For example, the tall dark wooden fence is a much shorter picket fence and our shed is not here at all. Additionally, the fence squares off and seems to divide the area of where the central line (longways) of the shed would be in reality. This is somewhat amusing (though perhaps I am somehow “seeing” another time period; would not be the first time - for example, after our shed is finished being eaten by termites and new shorter fences are added one day, perhaps). I know exactly what I am looking at…except that it is not really how it looks. I find this familiarity yet typical “wrongness” of rendering quite enjoyable, particularly as it was created so quickly. I have no idea how that is possible, or how it can seem so realistic, but I go with it.

I notice that there is a round wooden card table near the west side of the backyard, a bit closer to the house, as well as at least three bentwood chairs (though I only focus on one of them). I “explode” the chair and table into splinters after playing around with them for awhile, spinning them in the air and such with in-dream telekinesis. Then I reintegrate them back to normal. Breathe in, reintegrate, breath out, explode, and so on. It vaguely reminds me of the motions of bits of straw moving on the surface of a pond. The chair noiselessly (well perhaps with a soft subtle “puff”) explodes into splinters, the splinters spin around…breath in…the chair is perfect again. I decide to let it hover in the air about seven feet above the ground at a tipped forward angle of about thirty degrees while the table continues to float about a foot from the ground.

The environment shifts slightly as I enter a more dynamic state (this is a specific type of dream state that seems to be “between worlds”). Everything is sand falling and holes opening up. I watch the incredible beauty of the transitions. At one point, it looks like concrete blocks have been placed sideways (longways north and south) all across where the parking lot across the street is in reality, each recess originally meant to be a place for an exotic plant, but sand is falling continuously; beautifully. This seems to shift into a new dynamic. Breathe in…miniature waterfalls everywhere; breath out, “sandfalls”. I reach my hand down to check the texture. It shifts between water molecules and grains of sand continuously and evenly with my breathing. I see very clear imagery of small white stones in potted plants. Miniature cycad palms emerge and sink back in at times.

After awhile, in this blissful appreciation of sand falling everywhere and moving and sliding downward (in different colors and textures) over various implied forms and with a slight granular “rustling sound” everywhere in the world, my dream shifts to another type of state and goes “Fantasia” on me. I am aware that instead of the parking lot, it is a very large mandrake garden. The mandrakes (all about four inches high) are ready to crawl up out of the ground and dance, a composite of the brooms moving about from “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” and the guards marching about outside the witch’s castle in “The Wizard of Oz”, though it becomes more like ballet after a time, all uniform, all smooth, all in harmony…except…

One mandrake seems to be struggling with his presumed partner (in trying to pull “her” from the ground). I go over and look and see him in a shallow hole pulling on something, which turns out to be a limp, lifeless carrot, only partially anthropomorphic. He looks up at me curiously. He has a face about the size of my thumb that looks much like a miniature old chimpanzee.

“That’s a carrot!” I shout gleefully.

He blinks and looks worried. “Oh?” he squeaks, with a raspy puzzled voice. He turns and walks away dejectedly as the hundreds of other paired mandrakes dance “perfectly”.

From here, I am in a fairly dark and seemingly undefined “void”. Some sort of “creatures” which are like giant luminous dandelion seeds (about five of them, about a foot and a half tall) lightly brush over the backs of my hands. There is an implied communication. At times, their luminosity changes slightly, becoming dimmer or brighter, mostly at the central area of the span of “tendrils”.

It was a warm morning. I went out of my bed, took some clothes and went to a kitchen. Looking through the window, I saw a black car parked in the middle of backyard. I saw that someone was coming out from the car: a pretty, blonde woman in early thirties - my previous teacher. She was wearing only short trousers and her brea. She was holding flowers in her hands, she looked at me and smiled.

Black: non-dream
Blue: non-lucid
Red: lucid

Dream
I managed to get lucid last night, not a great deal happened as it was my first real attempt in a long time. I get out of my bed and think 'hey, this is a dream' despite the fact that I was in my room and in my bed with nothing out of the ordinary. I'm actually a little skeptical, like maybe I sleep-walked out of my window? But surely not... Anyways, I decide to go outside which proved pretty easy, I clambered out and walked down the path towards the clothing-line. As I do this I decide to do a reality check, I was still so skeptical of the dream... I bring up the palm of my right hand and push a finger into it, my skin stretches in the way it shouldn't
"So it IS a dream..." I thought to myself
A few seconds later I decide that I had to make sure though, and redid the reality check, this time pushing even harder to be certain that it wasn't just my eyes playing tricks on me while I was in a sleepy state. Raising my right hand, I push my finger straight through it. Deciding this was convincing enough I think of a dream goal, I knew that I had one but I couldn't recall it... I think of trying to see that girl again but decide that it isn't the RIGHT dream goal, but before I can think of anything else I wake up.

Not bad for a lucid, it feels so much more natural now compared to when I started... Like I know right buttons to push on a playstation game to get a cheat to work . Now I need to focus on clarity and stability in these lucids, along with overall recall.

I'll start with the dreams and then I'll give a quick thought about my current status and progression regarding LDing.

1. The escape

I'm on the run from the police and have to leave everything behind, currently I'm traversing through France and have to make my way to England because for some reason I'm safe there.
Most of the dream is walking/running around/away and the only scene I can remember is some sort of harbor area, very clean and empty with a large ship-like object that I have to go over but really it's all very blurry.

2. Pick your poison

I'm playing some sort of game and reached the end level, which seems to be a storage area with warehouses and such. I can choose from two types of bosses. While one boss probably is already hard I decided out of curiousity to pick them both, one boss that stormed out of a warehouse was a green dragon which doesn't play a major role in the dream. The other boss however is kinda creepy, a large man with a mask I think that looks like a butcher slowly walks towards me, I run away and make some distance but he keeps following me very relaxed and I start getting nervous. I enter a garage and decide to put up an ambush using some tools and machines around, I try to lure him into a trap in which two walls with spikes close in on each other, and while the trap is succesfull it only takes his 'health' down very little.
3. I don't even know

Reading over my notes I for once can't actually recall the dream itself so I'll leave the keywords that I dotted down so you can maybe give it a try:

Exam, Retry, Bathroom, Second part


As you might've noticed my recall lately has been EXTREMELY VOLATILE, one night I almost had the best recall I ever recorded and the next it was zero. This has happened several times now and I've never had this problem before. First, I decided to stop the DEILD alarm for now in hopes of archieving a steady recall and considering my main induction technique used to be DEILD/WILD I'll have to find other ways of waking up before a REM-cycle to archieve lucidity.

But I'm affraid simply stopping an alarm won't suffice, the roots of the problem are burried much, much deeper. The very mentality itself.
It's dark, the little candle flame that represented my motivation and imagination when I started this LD-session again is unfortunatly extinguished, in the past when I had steady recall over multiple weeks and although it was a short period I had frequent LDs, it was back then when that little flame was a raging fire of excitement.
I honestly don't know how to solve this and hope it is something that solves itself, I think the main reason I was so excited back then was the fact I discovered something new, had very little free time and saw results but right now I lack all of these things, or rather have them in abundance like free time. Thoughout the day I don't really care about dreaming nor do I think about it so really, it is my mentality.

The only cure I could think of is having an LD just like that, spontanious DILDs are what usually attract people to the practice of lucid dreaming and it's exactly what I need now.

As far as I can say, maybe a distant dream-fragment but it's too blurry so it could actually be a thought that I had when I woke up.

Zero!

7.26.15

Still night shifts. Sleeping 2pm-9:45 then 10:30pm

Woke up from a dream, said yeeey, I dreamed with ophelia and recalled it, fell back asleep and the dream continued.

DR:
I'm at Ophelia's place. Everbody seems to be doing his own thing. It's not your typical visit. I'm in lots of different scenes. One is when I', on a large patio overlooking large body of water, with mountains on the other shore. I see 2 moons short distance from each other, ducking behind and out of clouds at nighttime. I ran inside to grab my camera (common theme) while yelling at everyone to come out and see it I grab a silver camera, but I realize it's not mine. I keep looking till I find my black one and I rush back out to the patio. By now the moons have paled and some bright object is starting to peek from behind the mountain.

We are camping and someone puts up a mosquito net tent. I go in with one of her boys, but tent is small. So I get out so the other one can get inside.

There was lot more, it seems like it lasted an hour.

the dreams starts with me running to this hut behind our old house. i notice that some part of it is gone, the hut is also filled with smooth desert sand with a bright sun shining over it. i go outside see some more sand next to the old hut. i say something and just walk to the house itself when i suddenly see my sister riding her bike.
i say something like: "are you riding your bike here?!" the dream starts slowly fading while my sister tells me something.



this was the same night as the dream about the mall

I feel like these dreams were more vivd than the others, though still not that vivid. I feel like I want to start practicing techniques that will help me have a DILD.*I'll elaborate, I feel like in my prior post I have recognized enough dream signs that are starting to show up consistently within my dreams.*


I was taking the subway with my mother in NYC. We were waiting for the train at the station when a pulse of light came down from the beginning of the tunnel where the train would come out of and then exited the tunnel and continued down. We were all very confused. Then a dog came through. The form of this dog was very small(almost like a puppy), and after he exited, another one came, but larger. This repeated, the dogs kept getting larger and larger until eventually a werewolf came through(and then a giant rectangular form of a vicious dog), then this morphed into a train that we took. Then the dream shifted, and I was talking on the phone to my friend Michael about how to play a specific piano song. He was telling me over the phone, it was my pointer finger on my left hand and my pointer finger on my right hand, and I heard him playing this song that I wanted to learn how to play over the phone(which he was telling me how to play. I had a big apple danish in my hand, I assume it was for my breakfast(but I didn't like it much). I was again on my way to the train station.

I can remember another dream.

I don't think I was myself in this dream, I feel like I was a psychotic orphan living in an orphanage. When the morning bell rang, I was on top of the roof and I refused to come down. I don't think I was crazy though, just different. At least that's the way I felt.

at the mall (non lucid)
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i am at a mall with a false memory of Bane locking down the mall while batman, me and someone else are inside. i am holding a rifle or something while searching around the mall for enemies (the whole mall was dark at first, but after sometime the lights were on again). the next thing i remember is following this random DC upstairs the mall and we try to take an elevator but it wont go up. so we just use the stairs instead. when we reach the top i notice some doors, on one of the doors there was a microsoft logo. DC opens the door, we see some people in an empty room having a meeting. DC closes the door and opens another door, suddenly we are in some class room. DC and i take a seat and look around, while the teacher looks at me and says something to me. (i dont remember what happened after this)

Let us guide and teach. We ran a tour that journeyed sightseers into the wood.
There were lots of twists and turns with fallen trees. There were steep hills.
All this stimulation made me take off running the path I had done thousands of times.
I had expected my sister to stay back and lead the group. She was partner to my tour guide business.
However, she ran just as I did. We waited at the end of a steep drop-off for the group
to catch up. We were not far away at all. The hard part of the adventure was the
drop, where both my sister and I waited for the travellers to approach so that
we could lend aid. As we waited, we looked at one another in an expression that
suggested in a slightly aggravated way that the other should have stayed with the
group. Then came a scream with such high pitch and intensity that it seemed to have thrown
my heart off rhythm. There was a moment that seemed like ten, in which I was completely
petrified. My eardrums shriveled up in cowardice but the scream continued to bore holes into
my mind, creating for itself a dwelling where it should lives for decades to come.
The wretched screech serenaded my thoughts, "How could they have possibly have harmed
themselves this early into the tour", and "I could/should have been there."
More thoughts than the ones mentioned were racing in from different directions,
all acting like chefs pouring ingredients such as dread, hatred, confusion, and
guilt into the stew of my sloshing stomach making me sick. Did not they, they
being my thoughts, know that too many cooks spoiled the soup? None of that
nonsense mattered. All that did was getting back to the group. I ran up the
dirt slope as fast as I could, only slipping twice. By the time I had gotten
to the group, all the damage that was going to happen had done so already.
The young girl's arm had been shredded. It had appear to be done not by the landscape
but by some kind of beast. In addition to being badly injured she was unable to speak
about what had happened. No one else had even seen it. Everyone was asked and most
could only recall hearing her scream and then the blood. No beast, no slip and fall.
But, I could see in her moist and cloudy eyes that she knew what had happened.
Later in the tour house common room, she was holding onto her arm which was in a big bundle
of bandages. I approach, "I know you don't want to talk about what happened but
you have to let me take you to the hospital" She nods slightly. I get her in
the car and drive swiftly. I don't know where I am going. When I finally look up a map
on my phone we are very far away from a hospital which at the beginning of our travels
had been close. On the map right below the hospital icon reads: "Click for Fast Travel"
I pressed it on my phone but something glitched and started us back at the beginning
of the game chapter. Since I knew how this was all to go down, I tried to hurry
through to give my passenger the shortest wait. The game flashed the beginning.
Which I expected to be me neglecting my tour group and allowing one to be
harmed. This was apparently not the beginning. It started with flashing images
of flesh and blood and a man covered in wires and thorns. All with intense music.
Rapid flashes of pain and fear. Brutal scenes. Just get through it so I can take her
to the hospital. My dad is the one holding the controller. I give him suggestion because
I had just finished this whole part. Objective: Take Out the Eye. On the screen
the torn and mutilated man sat screaming the same body paralysing scream while
a hand, belonging to someone behind the camera, was half in the eye socket holding
the eye. The one behind the camera is the one you control in the game.
"You really have to reef on it" I encouraged my dad. I do the acting the game in looking
to be done to the controller in the air to explain myself. We are both fixated on the
screen. The screaming continues. But now it is mixed with another fear installing
sound. Yelping. What my dad is reefing on is not the controller, no wonder the game
is not progressing. In my dad's hands is my wiener dog. He does not notice that
he is doing this, he is fixated on the flashing screen. He is trying to pull out
the dog's eye but cannot manage to get it instead I see the dog's eye lids being
ripped off his face while the dog is yelping quickly and loudly and in continuous stream.
Stop. It takes force to pull my dog loose. When I get him he is shaking and the area around
his eye is red swollen and ripped. My dad looks at himself in disbelief. He had no idea
and never wanted to do this. It was as if this game had been designed to make the player
hostile to a living soul they had around them. End Dream.

I wrote this a while back. I am sorry for the errors and the confusing end description but just reading once before uploading it was enough to make me feel ill. This was truly an unpleasant experience. To clarify the end part, my father is ripping out the eye of my dog. The title is a strange choice.

Watching the sky

I was outside my house. I went to the backyard, and lied on the ground, looking at the sky. There were lots of stars, I watched meteorite rain, and then the sky started to turn around. I standed up, and wandered for a while. I found my younger sister sleeping in an igloo, and then went back into house.

Undead army

I saw everything from top-down perspective. It was inside some poorly lit, cold catacombs. There was gathering an undead army, risen by dark forces. I was risen as a skeleton too, but something thrown me into webs so strong, that I couldn't do anything. I looked to the side, and saw a giant octopus. Suddenly every undead starts to fall apart. A strange voice said "Only you and the octopus survived!" The octopus started to dance.

Island

Warm evening, I was rowing on a small boat to unknown island. I was a survivor from a ship that sank. I took a phone out of my pocket. It had a built in front and back cameras. I used them to check how I look - I was a girl, somewhat similar to me. I stopped at a beach and wandered the island for a while, and noticed group of three women - a pregnant blonde, redhead, and brunette. All were quite pretty. They told me that they are looking for a special cave, where the baby can born. We wandered for a while and found it, and the women told me that I should stay with them and serve the new born god.