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Ritual: I went to bed at midnight and found myself quite awake at 5am, so I got up and worked for an hour. On going back to bed, I realized that although I had not intended a WBTB, the conditions were good for LDing. I had to get up at 8, so I didn't want to spend the time on a formal WILD attempt, but I thought about what task I should do if I got lucid. All I could remember of this month's TOTMs were "fart" and "draw," so picked the latter. I decided I would draw a dinosaur, since I never got around to riding one last month.

DILD: I think I was outside my workplace—something I rarely dream of—when I reached down to pick up something off the ground. As I straightened, I realized with clear certainty that I was dreaming. I wasn't sure what had triggered the awareness, so thought it over, but there didn't seem to be any specific anomalies that I had noticed, and I hadn't RC'd either. On this occasion I just felt very naturally aware of the dream state.

I had originally planned to draw a dinosaur and bring it to life for the TOTM, but now I decided to start with something easier. I had been at my HEMA class yesterday, so I decided to draw a sword, then manifest it and do some practice. My initial strategy was to simply draw the sword in my left palm, so that I could manifest it directly in my hand (I am right-handed, so I was using my right hand to draw with). However, the lines changed as soon as I had set them down, turning into a cartoon-like character. I figured fine, I can work with that, it doesn't matter what I manifest... but my intention to transform the drawing into a real being fizzled. Nothing happened except that the drawing changed into a different character, and then faded.

Changing strategy, as I found myself walking next to a building I drew a sword right on the wall. It was a poor drawing, chunky and ill-proportioned, but I figured I could fix it in post-production. I put my hand over where the hilt was drawn, intending to grab the sword as it manifested. Nothing happened. I wondered if it would help to reach into the wall, in case the sword was inside it. I pressed my right hand against the wall, which consisted of a reddish, textured stucco. It resisted at first, but I kept pressing, and eventually it yielded like a crumbly semi-moist clay, and my hand went right through. I closed my hand over an object and pulled it out. Unfortunately it was not the sword I was trying to create, but a comic book.

It occurred to me that I was always trying to make the dream state conform to my will, and I should pay more attention to the things that it offered me unexpectedly, so I took a moment to flip through the comic book as I walked on past the building. The hero of the comic was a young boy, but nothing caught my interest, so I tossed it on the ground. Lucidity got a little weak, and I found myself grilling a piece of chicken for my husband's dinner. The image of the piece of meat on the grill was, in retrospect, an obvious bit of day residue from a Facebook post I had seen last night.

While getting the dinner ready I found myself indoors, where I made a third try at drawing the sword, inscribing an outline on the wall again. Since there was a DC in the room with me, I thought I would be clever and asked him to grab the sword off the wall and give it to me. I figured it would still count for the TOTM as long as the drawing transformed into a three-dimensional object by any means. But he couldn't do it either!

Later I got fed up and just manifested a sword directly into my hand so that I could actually get some practice in. For some reason I found it easy to create a sword in my hand out of nothing, even though I had been unable to do it from the drawings! I went through a few rounds of the "flow" movements I had learned in my HEMA class, but found myself wondering why I was wasting precious dream time practicing something that I could work on just as well in waking life, so I flew off to further explore the dream.

Only then did I notice the beauty of my surroundings. Some dream environments are drab, but this was one of those landscapes that is gorgeous beyond anything you've seen in waking life. Pink-tinged clouds of beautiful hue and texture filled the sky. All around me was water, interspersed with strips of inhabited land, like a strange city straddling the sea. The water was full of beautiful sailing ships of many varieties.

I felt a bit lonely in all this splendor and wished I had a friend to hang out with. Something inspired me to seek "Ozymandias," though the name has little relevance for me (outside being vaguely aquainted with its literary source) and has never come up in a dream before, nor can I trace it to DR. I loudly called "Ozymandias!" but no one appeared. Then I had an intuition that one of the boats was his, a small craft with a complex array of small square black and red sails.

I flew over and landed on the boat, which was not much bigger than a rowboat despite its magnificent sails. There was a tall vertical form in the prow that I had assumed was Ozymandias, only to discover that it was made of wood and evidently served as the steering apparatus. The boat was empty, even though it was not anchored but sailing freely in the harbor. Something caught my eye and I knelt down to find some single earrings and a few tiny beads in the bottom of the boat, as though a woman had been here. Though I retained a degree of lucidity, I found myself being drawn into a dream narrative. I lingered in the boat until it drifted vertically down a tall waterfall, although the movement was gentle and not frightening.

I wanted to figure out why Ozymandias had apparently disappeared from his boat, so I transported myself to an office where I could speak to a harbor official. I told him about the empty boat and the evidence that a woman had been on board.

"The only other person allowed in his boat is Delphine," the clerk informed me. Something made me suspect Delphine was a courtesan, so I asked about the local brothels, and the clerk described two locations.

As I went in search of the brothel I became confused.... now I began to wonder if I was Delphine, that is, if that was the character I was playing in the dream. But if so, why hadn't the clerk recognized me, since he had appeared to be familiar with her? Could it be because I don't currently resemble her, and instead look like my waking self?

Without resolving these doubts, I went to the brothel and asked if they knew what had become of Ozymandias. "We don't give information about our clients," the madam informed me politely.

"He might be dead!" I insisted, explaining my discovery of the empty boat. That persuaded them to give me a piece of paper listing the dates that he had visited. That was as far as I was able to pursue the mystery before I woke up.

I was in an area with other people. There's a haunted house. I think it's some sort of a challenge. The mode feels like Battle Royale. There's a haunted house. We were supposed to go in and last inside or defeat monsters. The first ones to enter soon ran out through various exits. I didn't have the courage to go in.

Then there was one guy who said he wants to go "up" the tower and challenge/defeat/outlast the monster there. I told him to be careful. After a while, I got worried, so I went in. I was afraid. I encountered a zombie-like creature in a hallway/dungeon and ran back out. It was a different place.

It was inside a mall. I felt a surge of energy. I ran forward, evading creatures, and used energy pushed out through my palms and feet to "fly" forward and slightly upward. I felt exhilarated.

I'm a vampire that's hunting vampires.

Sam & Dean Winchester are hunting me.

The woman I killed was a vampire preying on the local townspeople, but you can always trust Hunters to not understand nuance.

Later, I'm using telekinesis on small objects around my grandmother's living room. I'm finding that I can easily lift objects that are within about four feet of me, but to move anything further away, I have to move closer. I find this frustrating, because I know I'm dreaming, and this is all about what I believe I can do.

It's a rubber band bracelet thingy, for gods' sake! This shouldn't be that hard!

This is one of about 3 dreams remembered in the past 3 months. I've started taking 2 drops of an African Dream Root tincture a day, and yesterday was Day 3. Recall is starting to come back a little, although the dreams were not vivid. I've been having a lot of trouble falling and staying asleep through the night which is probably contributing.

I remembered more of this dream earlier in the day and failed to write it down, so I've forgotten some of it. The only thing I remember is being at a shopping mall (dream sign) with my sister. We needed to buy something for our mother, then after that I said we could tour 2 of the department stores in the mall. There were 6 in total, 4 of which had been toured in a previous dream, and this dream was a sequel of sorts, so we wanted to see the remaining ones just because.

Zelda
Playing a Zelda game. I was pretty confused the whole time, not because every time I picked up the controller I jumped into the game, but because I couldn't figure out which game it was. It seemed to be a mixture of TP and SS. Reminds me a bit of what Wii U looked like. It was very early in the night and I didn't tag enough to remember what I was doing.

If you have anything important to say to Switch
Hanging out with some DCs. Realize that I am in a dream because they are planning on going to sleep to meet up and fight a boss. I I decide to go to sleep with them and we go down. I realize then that even though I knew that we had already been in a dream, they didn't. This left them all vulnerable to attack from the boss they were getting ready to fight. I watched as the 3 DCs I was with died just like Switch in The Matrix. When the higher level was cut off, they would just collapse. I woke myself up to fight the boss and I had a pretty good fight with him, but I don't remember what he looked like or much of the fight. I just remember afterwards thinking that he was pretty easy and scared of me. Yet again, need to focus more on recall. Sickness is hurting me.

Old Apartment
I am at an old apartment after church and hanging with my family. The old apartment complex I used to live in is where a lot of people i know still live, and they were all there. However the apartment complex looked like a different old apartment complex I lived in, so I was a little confused. My sister wants to go play a game at my parents house that can only be played in the rain. It seems pretty dangerous and everyone is arguing with her about it. I pull up a video of the game being played there already, but the rain is subsiding, so they are quitting. She gets mad and starts blaming people for not playing. We end up starting a maze game in the basement of the apartment.

Inappropriate
Inappropriate dream with wife. It was a FA. :/

This is an old LD that I had around 8-10 months ago. It's still a lucid dream, so I figured I'd add it in now.

I don't quite remember how it began, but the general setting was a dark town set in a old spooky Prague style. It was night time, and the sky held a large moon. It felt so real. I could feel the cold air on my face as soon as I arrived. I could even smell rain. The small town itself was in a circle shape around a circle cobble road, with some sort of mausoleum in the centre. On the outside of the road between the road and the houses, there was a spire fence surrounding it all. I've drawn it below, in case my description is lacking detail:



That's what it all looked like. Nothing much happened, except I saw weird creatures, big and small, walking around and morphing into different shapes and other kinds of creatures. I remember trying to make someone appear to see if maybe they could help, but it wouldn't work.

I'm not sure what to make of that creepy town. It seems important somehow.

Any thoughts on this?

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I have a bf. He is a young, maybe 18 or so. He keeps calling me and smooth talking. He has a gentle voice but I can tell he wants me. He tells me to come over right now and keep calling me words of endearment. I start to go over but I really want to wear makeup. I find Erica in Becky's old room and we start doing our makeup. I can't find my foundation so I use her cream one. It dries really fast on my face. I remember that it takes an hour or so to do my makeup and I was going to be really late.

Rachel was creating cocaine in a lab. She spent a couple weeks camping with her family. I thought it was to reconnect. Turns out it was bc there are old, abandoned labs in those woods and she was making cocaine (synthetic?). She ends up taking us there. It is a big group of my nursing class (except the only person from real life is Holly). It is the day before graduation. There are black and white tiled floors to the lab and the lab is dark, blue, and falling apart. I was surprised they never blew up the lab bc it promotes people to make drugs. But then again, if they don’t know what’s in the lab, blowing it up is dangerous. Idk what they are doing in the lab this time but a few of us are in uniform, acting like belong there, and standing guard. After a while it starts to get dark and seem sketchy. Some people had enough and were ditching out, but there was a very specific way out. One of the guards took me and another and showed us the way out. This was too dangerous for them. They want out. We get to a little pond that could turn you into a frog if you drank or touched the water wrong. I tell them to stop. We need to go back for the others. The one that showed us out keeps going but the other waits with me. I go back around the corner and there is someone I didn’t recognize staring at me from the other corner. It kinda freaks me out. I tell my partner. They don't want to go back. I tell them “I can’t just sit here and do nothing.” I feel like action is the best response to my fear and discomfort. If I lead, the partner may follow. So I go back despite the creeper and turns out it is no one significant. But it makes me feel like people are out looking for us. We have been gone for a couple hours by now. I go into the lab and the front part looks like a grocery store check area. I tell them we have to go. This has gone on long enough. It’s getting dangerous and people are looking for us. They listen and I show them the proper way out. They blow up the lab as they leave. We all run and have to swim out as the final leg. Holly makes sure everyone gets out and was thrown into the water from the explosion impact. I am her for a minute and can barely breathe. I am aware, but suffered a bit of drowning. I thought she was going to die. But she didn’t. We are all excited as we come out of the woods. It is finally graduation. But what are we going to tell our families? What is our cover? That we were just partying in the woods before graduation. There are spirits watching over us. Their tradition was to wear a strange, protruding sash. They chose one of the girls and put a regular modern sash in her room. She notices it and tries it on. She doesn't want to wear it but she hears voices that tell her it is necessary to reclaim her wholesomeness and show it to the world. She cries and agrees. I choose to a wear a pink dress with black polka dots for graduation.

At a McDonald's, it is in the middle of a building and there are people everywhere.

Dad buying a theater expansion onto business. I keep thinking about how much it is like the theater near me. Kid selling dog. Tc show over the food and drink. Kid mad at me. Dads dad also has a theater. Trying to decide what to do for the night. Want to watch a movie.

People hanging at my parents house. Having a good time. Kid jumping on trampoline.

Not much more to put on these. Sickness was killing me. I ended up spending a lot of time at the theater thinking about how similar it was this the other, but all of these we're quite short dreams. :/ definitely should have gotten lucid at theater.

As the title says, low lucidity. That's part of what made this fun though, weird plots and stuff
I'm noticing that it's becoming easier for me to become lucid, but harder to make these lucid dreams last or to make them more vivid. I think part of it is that I'm almost obsessed with my goals right now, and I get too exited, too soon. Will be working on that

Lucidity: 4/10
Control: 4/10
Vivacity: 6/10

I'm in a new house. The neighbors are quite interesting; the Granny lives with them and plays 1rst person shooters all day, the mother sleeps around and the daughter (who must be about 2 years younger than her parents) accompanies her mother in her "adventures." When I come to visit them, I find the mother alone in the house, I become lucid.I'll let you guess what happens next... until the wife's husband comes into the room. At first I just kind of ignore him but then he throws a punch. I answer with a strike which should have at least broken his nose but he stays still as a tree.
So it's one of those dreams, uh.
I jump back and into the large living room. The man follows me. He must be over two meters tall, now. I try to blast him backwards with telekinesis but I just can't get it. As the man walks closer, towering over me, I remember a "new technique" that I must have used no more than twice before. So I jump back once more and throw some kind of half hook punch in the air, focusing on the man's jaw. I'm delighted to see a gaping, burning crater in the left side of his face. I do the same thing in the right to leave him badly disfigured... but then I notice that the wounds I gave him are starting to become smaller and smaller, until his face is completely back to normal. I try more times but he just keeps healing up. I try telekinesis again but he just won't budge. I think about another "technique" but with the amount of control I have now, I don't even want to give it a try. So, like a beaten dog, I scurry out the window and loose my lucidity.

I have a new car for about a month now. Here is one small lucid fragment from last night:

I am driving in my new car. It is clean and black inside. It smells very nice and I love being in it because it is so comfortable. I drive for no reason with no destination or goal, just for the fun of it, like I did so many times in the past days. The vegetation is rich and intensely green to my right side.

Suddenly there is a car coming from the right. I hit the brakes as hard as I can, because I have to give way for the other car. It is red and has advertising badges all over, also it looks like it has had some accidents before and there are dents on its door.

I suddenly get lucid! Still my foot is on the brake and it takes a long time before it stands still and it makes a very loud noise. I didn't hit the other car but it was very close. I investigate my surroundings, knowing that I am dreaming. Then everything fades and disappears slowly and finally I am left with NOTHING except the knowing that I am dreaming.

So now everything is black and I still know that this is a dream, but somehow there is no content whatsoever. It feels strange and unexpected, a little creepy too. Then the idea pops into my mind that I can just choose to wake up right now if I wanted to or I could keep on dreaming. I know in this moment that I have the complete freedom of choice. I remember that I had planned to have a LD when I went to bed and it worked! So I am excited about being lucid and I choose to keep on dreaming.

Then I hear voices from all sides, getting louder and louder. They become screams of fear and very loud.

I wake up with a very dry mouth. I think it's cool that I could just decide to have a LD that night.

I was at some tall and loose looking building that seemed to really only be held together by metal walkways. Maybe a radio tower of some kind? There didn't seem to be any real parts that were solid and that had rooms, it just seemed to be all open. I was there with a friend, and it was his house, although his identity changed multiple times throughout the dream. His father and a friend his father had went up to the walkway where we were, which was about 30 feet off the ground. There was a door that led to nothing and his father went through it and fell all the way down, but he was fine. He apparently needed to do it in order to put the staircase in place. There was now a metal staircase outside the doorway he just jumped out of, which made it easier to get up to where we were. I don't remember what happened after this, but the next thing I know is that we're in an actual room now, even though his house seemed to have none. I was at the top of some staircase inside with my friend, and we were looking out the window and we saw my mom coming up to the house. She used the staircase that was put in place outside and came inside. Somehow, she was at the bottom of the staircase we were at the top of, and she was telling me how if I went back to school, I would need to "buckle down" and get better grades. This was pointless. We had an argument, and I reminded her about how I'm not going back to school because I graduated. She persisted anyway, and I was constantly compared to my friend next to me who got all B's. When I apparently only got C's. None of that is even true actually. This dream happened after I tried to do a WILD. I failed of course, but I did get close to the transition, so I'll try WBTB tonight.

Does anyone have any advice for someone trying to get back into WILD after like 2 years?

I no longer remember what happened before I became lucid and what tipped me off. But I remember realizing that this was a dream in a staircase, and jumping up and gravity did not pull me down (successful reality check), so I flew and I headed out onto a balcony and through a solid wooden balcony enclosure with my eyes open. I remember flying a bit outside before the scene changed and I lost lucidity, remembering I had just had a lucid dream though. There were some people at a loading dock and they seemed hostile, which tipped me off that they were just dream characters after all. So I regained lucidity, and flew up and started shooting at the DCs with bow and arrow. I again lost lucidity in a scene change, and this time I was sure I had woken up. I wanted to record my dream, but my husband kept insisting he had to finish reading a children's book to me. He read the final page, and wanted to start another, but I said no thanks. And my eyes opened in my actual bed (I checked).

Oh and all this happened after a WBTB after I woke up at 3:40 and got up for a bit and went back to sleep with intention to realize I am dreaming.

Morning of September 7, 2015. Monday.



This dream may have partly been influenced by briefly thinking about the number nine due to reading and checking an older entry and how, on one (symbolic) imagery level, it is like a seed growing a root.

My wife Zsuzsanna and our children and I are in Cubitis, at the north side of my childhood home and near the edge of the carport, more towards the driveway on the west end. I plant some seeds along the perimeter (where my mother sometimes had a garden in real life but mostly red canna lilies and coleus blumei). Surprisingly, they start to grow almost immediately. My wife’s mother is there in the background but her behavior is not problematic, oddly enough.

There are three types of plants that rapidly grow (so fast, we have to move out of the way), one being watermelon, though the watermelons grow nearly as big as a person and taste like strawberries (though otherwise they look like watermelon). Another type is like cabbage but unrealistic in that the leaves are more like spinach and in thick layers (as if stacked and compressed into the spherical form). Still, I eat my way through half a head and the flavor is actually enjoyable. The other type is dragon fruit, but it grows quite tall and the fruit hangs down more from the top of the plant, being reminiscent of a bent-over street light. The dragon fruit imagery gives me a very vague impression (though not really enough to focus much on it in that light in-dream) of the “neck” and “head” of the 1953 “War of the Worlds” spaceship design.

Hello guys and Im at it again! This meditation took place last night. I began by sitting up-right, position really depends on how my current mood. As i began, Focusing on the breath as per usual as I get more and more relaxed I feel myself go deeper and deeper within, As i do this I start to see shapes form, these shapea kept forming. The colour white would show, more shapes, the more I payes attention to this the more clearer and more faster I was seeing all these shapes flow by. I started to see quite snippets of a scene, different scenes in fact. I let the images ago. I become aware of how still ive become, i felt mentally still. Although thoughts where in my mind i was mentally still, my breathing felt much more better and clearer and I just felt like I reached my goal. I laid in this stillness for a minute. I felt peace, calmness. I enjoyed this experience.

2015-09-07

00:31 bedtime. Too late, dang. Watched a couple of movies in the evening right before bed, stayed up to finish one. Bad idea, recall fairly poor. Still missing a strong feeling of presence & vividness, at least, or it's vanishing quickly upon waking.

Need to really put strong effort into recall, noticing wakings, and get back to being excited about waking during the night to recall dreams. Wanted to do a WILD attempt but just couldn't get up during the night. Need daytime naps to take the edge off with my increased exercise?

Noticed at least one waking and did some mental recall, I think most of these were lost. Need to record in the middle of the night!

07:21
+ flooded room
I'm in a (bath?)room and some water has slopped on to the floor. I need to clean it up. I'm hitting/adjusting/prying something there and then I realize I've created a huge leak in the bathtub which is emptying on to the floor in a big flow. I scream "HELP! HELP! COME HERE!" to my wife. I try to plug up the leak with a towel and (that stops or slows the flow?)

+ Field/Fries
Walking outdoors daytime alongside some athletic fields the path branches and I take the right branch. I'm walking towards a practice, I'm hungry, I realize I'm carrying a package of McDonald's for the players, I open it up and see lots of packs of fries, I eat some (with ketchup?). Arrive at the athletic practice (football?) there are (small formations doing drills?)

+ winter motel
Walking along the side of a street (curb to my left, street to my right) in an outdoors wooded area, it's winter(?), walking by a line of cars extending out into the road, across it, and well down the intersecting road. They're waiting their turn to check in at the motel. There aren't many motel in this remote area. Most of the cars are white? I glance to the left and see some lights and see the small motel/inn there. I'm glad I had already arranged my stay at another place earlier.

+ charge mammoth boat/sex
LOTR attraction? There are options. I chose the giant mammoth to climb up/board/attack. It's more like a boat. The defenders are in very strong positions above me so it's really hard to make progress against them. There are lots of protuberances and statues to climb on though. I look down to the left and see churning water, with more spiky statues there beneath the surface attached to the ship/mammoth, so falling into the water is not necessarily safe. I make it up to the top and move through the crowd. I grab a very small being (like a doll) who I think is the leader. It's naked? I'm trying to determine its gender, it's not clear. I engage in some sexual contact with this thing.

+ door/note/shrimp
Walking through town in shops, I'm a bit aware of my path [day practice!] was on a side road now I'm on a larger road. I wave to my wife who's farther up the road? We go through a door leading down some steps (still outside), my wife is behind me, I brush her hand which is holding the door and she grabs her hand back and says something about me hitting her hand, I say "well if you'd walk ahead of me where I could see you that wouldn't happen." Down at the bottom of the steps some people glance back at me saying "thanks" (with a sarcastic tone?).I think they wanted me to hold the door for them?

I'm given a note I on a small (triangular?) piece of (dark?) paper instantly recognize as being from my, it's her handwriting, is this her last note to me instead of that email?, It's dated "April XX" and I'm trying to remember date of her passing, was this note before or after that time?

I hear her voice? she is talking about the shrimp. She's saying the heads are tasty but the tails are nasty. "It's too bad you can't just eat the head because it gives you a buzzy feeling." I hold the shrimp in my hand (large prawn style) the head looks sort of normal with some little hairs poking out of its mid-section but the tail looks like a big segmented pink worm body. I wonder why the tails are not tasty, I think it's perhaps because it hasn't been deveined, so I turn it over and pry open the tail to look for a poop vein.