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    1. Talking In Bed

      by , 07-01-2016 at 12:35 PM (Oneirin's Dreamworld)
      I'm in bed next to S, and I roll over in the dark and put my arm over her. We start talking, and I get a strange feel about the situation. I do a noseplug and I'm lucid. I give her a big hug, still unable to see much in the dark. I then tell her, "Well, I have some good news and some bad news... we're dreaming... but we can still keep talking and go outside Wasn't bad news for me, but maybe for her! She agrees and I go to scoop her up in my arms and turn to fly through the window to head outside with her. As I'm turning,I say, "I have to ask you though.. why didn't you tell me that we were dreaming? She says matter-of-factly something like "You looked like you were resting...I didn't want to bother you". Fair enough I thought, and continued toward the window to head outside. The dream begins to fade rapidly and I wake.
      Categories
      lucid
    2. The Other Monster

      by , 07-01-2016 at 11:13 AM (The Dream Magic Experiment)
      I was gathering with a group of people, training or preparing for something. I was practicing my flips or trying to practice my flips.

      It became a Team Fortress themed scene. We were preparing for invasion.

      I was trapped in an outdoor area that they (the military?) are going to close soon. I was hurrying to the exits, but it looks like it's too late. I saw the guards closing the exits while running on a plaza area. I reached the closed gate. Nearby, a guy wearing white buttoned shirt and glasses called to me to follow him, presumably to their hiding place. I followed him. It seems there are monsters that come out during this time, and the citizens have to hide. I was in their hiding place. The hiding place became mobile, like a tank. They were busy chatting about it more with excitement than fear. We passed by some areas where there are body parts and blood lying around.

      Somehow, I realized I was the monster, so I felt I have to leave and move away or everyone in that tank will die. When we were nearing the border gate, I saw a woman arguing with a guard (female?). I'm not sure if she wanted to leave or stay, but she looked fearless. Then we heard a roar or something. From the opening of the building to my right, something came rushing out. I jumped out of the tank, turned into a monster, and clashed with the other monster.
    3. 2016-07-01

      by , 07-01-2016 at 10:41 AM
      Again super late to bed, but some decent dreaming. Mind busy with work stuff so recall poor.

      + sexy time
      Spoiler for sexy time encounter:


      later:

      + preparing an advertisement using an image editing program, pasting a graphic in at the bottom and scrolling around to see the whole thing.

      + bunch of snoozing short scenes
      Approaching a (strip club?), two women are talking outside on the sidewalk/parking lot, one young and hot (a dancer) and one older. The younger one is saying how she really needs money and business is pretty slow. I'm heading in that direction but don't want her to get the idea that I'd be a potential customer. Some thoughts about spending hundreds of dollars and wondering how much this would affect her financial situation.

      I see (imagine?) a girl leaning on a building across the street, and how I could go and talk to her?

      In a large open field, there are people (looking for?) and a dog, a man finds the dog, a woman leaves the scene, being the former many-year owner of the dog. I sob bitterly at the prospect of losing a long-time beloved pet like that.
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    4. Disrupting and Speaking with the Lion of Coalescence

      by , 07-01-2016 at 10:37 AM
      Morning of July 1, 2016. Friday.



      My wife Zsuzsanna and our family as we are now (relative to age and appearance for the most part) are seemingly living back on Stadcor Street in Brisbane. However, our house is eventually implied to be haunted. There are also a number of other people, including a young black male, who are either staying with us or just looking things over as visitors. It seems we may have just moved in within the last few days.

      A few different times, termites crawl out from near the top of the walls. There seems to be some sort of demonic or ghostly presence in the “attic” (though there really was not an actual attic as such in real life). The black male spends time looking at the ceiling and I notice some unusual patterns. For example, parts of the ceiling have spiderweb-like cracks in about three different areas as well as real spiderweb a short distance from the ceiling light. At one point, there is a small cylindrical hole where sand or dust rains down from for a short time.

      The room shared by our two oldest children when they were younger now seems to possibly serve as a different room, though there is an unfamiliar and unknown young dark-haired female in another room whose room it may be (or may soon be) and I am seemingly checking the room regarding its safety. Instead of a wooden ceiling of planks, it is white tiles and actually seems like my bedroom in Cubitis in some ways (though the ceiling is lower). However, it also seems like some sort of unusual but very subtle composite even though the Cubitis house layout is different from the Stadcor Street house layout, though two bedrooms and the living room (lounge room) are in similar locations with respect to each other's directional orientation.

      I reach up through the pushed-aside ceiling tile and find an old paperback children’s book with a yellow cover and a sketchy drawing on a white panel with a black border. I am unsure of the title. I think it may be a story from “365 Bedtime Stories” (owned for years in my childhood) and may refer to “What a Jolly Street” (which I have not thought of in many years). I brush and sweep dust and spiderweb from it with a very realistic focus and sense of awareness and touch. It depicts a cheerful running boy (implied to be running away from the foreground, though at an angle from his right) with a blanket over his shoulders (obvious dream sign though it does not trigger anything - though the cover being yellow is a dawning consciousness and sunrise symbol). I give it to the unknown girl who may be implied to be my (fictional) daughter though as other families may also be living in the house, I remain unsure. I am also aware of my real youngest son at one point during this scenario. I am able to find a few more similar books and find it fascinating and enriching, though almost like a typical faux lucidity where I expect something (without knowing I am dreaming) and manifest it with no effort. (The thought alone creates it.)

      Back in the kitchen, there is movement in the ceiling over time, which is not tiled but of some sort of white fiberboard. Whatever is up there is very heavy and seems to make the ceiling slightly lower wherever it goes. Everyone seems concerned as we clearly hear it within the ceiling, “following me” wherever I walk, which is quite interesting - as if it can sense me somehow - even though I try to walk very quietly. This goes on for several minutes. At one point, there is the idea that it may be a giant rat although its “real” form may be a demon or ghost. I am annoyed more than frightened in any way and talk about “how to get rid of the demonic presence”. After a time, it speaks in a deep patronizing voice. This causes me to have had enough since this being also brings out termites a few times (as if by supernatural control), though they do go back into the walls. I shout as loud as I can for the being to leave and I do not stop. I am not afraid; I am annoyed. Eventually, it seems quieter.

      I casually walk into our large lounge room. On the opposite side of the room and to the right (near the front windows) is a large lion sitting in a natural position on one of two large couches (which form a corner against two walls that join) and is “playfully” nudging one of six or seven toddlers who are somehow all sitting atop the back of the couch. The lion is opening his mouth around one in particular as if to indicate he is about to swallow her. There does not seem to be an immediate threat because the lion does not actually bite any of them. However, I have had enough of this strange “haunting” and even strongly feel that sacrificing myself to save the toddlers is the right thing to do. I get the lion’s attention to distract him from hurting any of the toddlers and he jumps down from the couch and approaches me. I assertively demand “Who are you?” after boldly gazing at his face for a time, because, even though I am not lucid in any way, I get the strong impression that I should do this.

      The lion eventually starts talking in a rough human male voice as I look stoically into his eyes, but, almost without me noticing the change, the lion is now a dark-haired and heavily mustached European male (perhaps in his early forties) standing before me in a medieval swordsman outfit, though there are also the essences of court jester and pilgrim in his overall appearance and I seem to make out vague pale green and brownish horizontal stripes across his jerkin. His hair is about shoulder length though his small hood seems up. He talks about being the former resident of our house. He seems angry about its fate. Oddly, his main concern is about a party that is apparently to be held in the kitchen. I am not so keen on a party myself. I try to reassure him so as to stop all the ghostly commotion and eventually wake - with an understanding that a few of the other people will not have a party that may wreck the house and annoy the ghost.



      The setting of the kitchen may relate to slight hunger in sleep, though here, it may also imply the presence of the lion of coalescence as a lion represents swallowing the dreamer back into whole consciousness. The toddlers probably represent potential new (or offset) dream states, as this takes place on a couch (a dream sign as it is like a bed). When I was getting books from above the ceiling, I was attempting to reach and communicate with the critical thinking skills of my conscious mind, which are usually greatly lacking in dreams (as anything above the ceiling represents conscious activity as does a haunting - which is meant to stir the conscious self into waking or at least being more aware within the dream state). With the most subtle of conscious activity (though I am never lucid here) I even get a direct symbolic response that indicates I am sleeping and dreaming (the book cover of a boy running with a sheet over his shoulders). The challenge of “who are you” is quite extreme and rare for me in a non-lucid dream state (though is commonly practiced by other schools of thought in dream work), especially as I subliminally know the “who are you” is a form of my emerging consciousness. Overall, I found this dream fascinating and have placed it on my “favorites” list. It is one of my favorite non-lucid dreams in recent years.



      Again, it is curious how I challenge the Gatekeeper in liminal space, which, for whatever reason, some people identify as the “subconscious”, though this makes no sense as it is the dawning conscious self that is growing in activity in the dream state, not the “subconscious” (a term I no longer use or broadly accept anymore). A swordsman represents truth and clarity of conscious day to day awareness and in some cases implies a higher “destiny” regarding change (especially the angel with a blue flaming sword). A concern about the “party in the kitchen” possibly relates to eating healthier foods and losing a bit of extra weight yet may also metaphorically relate to a more profound coalescence in integrating more with the Source.

      Updated 07-01-2016 at 11:54 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    5. Non-lucids only- Dealing with an important family issue

      by , 07-01-2016 at 01:13 AM
      Non-Lucids only. Had to deal with scheduling a very difficult family decision. Have to go deal with my life today.
      Tags: non - lucid
      Categories
      non-lucid
    6. Airport, Pool Party, Undead Crow

      by , 07-01-2016 at 12:46 AM
      I was on my way to the airport to pick up some cousins(?) coming from both KY and Germany. A woman I work with was also arriving there and was there to work with us. I was ready to go back to the car but she said they were going to stay at the airport and work for about 9 more hours. I left without them, not feeling rude or worried at all about how they would get to my place.
      Eventually we were all back at my place (dream, never been there before) and working on something around a coffee table. Tan carpet. Bland furniture.
      Then I was living (or my parents were living here) in a giant, beautiful house with a large backyard and a pool that I have dreamt about before.
      There seemed to be a kind of party going on, it was perpetually evening with lowlight but not nighttime. An old friend was there, other forgotten people, and several exes. Each ex showed up by themselves and claimed to still have feelings for me. I didn’t think it was a good idea to revisit any of these relationships, but I did tell one that we could just maybe hang out as friends for a while and see how things went.
      In the pool and I saw a crow underwater, like it had drowned. It seemed to be stuck against the side of the pool about 3 feet below the surface. I felt sorry for it but did not think about it for long. I saw my old friend goober and attempt to grab it but she couldn’t reach it for some reason. Eventually one of my oldest exes swam over and without a word managed to get it and put it on the side of the pool. I looked it the crow, sopping wet, and felt sad again and that twinge of whatever that feeling is when your around something that is dead.
      Then the crow started to move! It slowly sat upright and seemed to be practicing opening and closing it’s beak. I exclaimed to my ex: It was DEAD!!! It is coming back to LIFE! (Good chance to become lucid here, but alas) I moved towards the crow and it looked my way, but in the way that a blind person does, like the crows eyes weren’t working very well yet.

      I walked around the pool and patio and collected clothes. Actually just several pairs of my pants, all drenched and muddy from apparently being rained on? Not the kind of wetness that comes from pool splashing. Next to one pair of pants were two black runes with white markings on them. I also picked up a tweed tote bag, still with a tag on it.

      Two different people at this gathering had journals that used to being to Obama— one was like a brainstorming journal with sketches and notes and the other was more planned and put together.

      I was in a small circular room, and my perspective was from the ceiling near a wall. I seemed to be floating without a body. I watched a woman do weird hand tricks with snakes. All I could see was her arm (not sure how, I know there was a small audience in the room too) The snakes ranged from normal size to giant, perhaps the girth of a couch. the biggest snake was yellow. The woman’s hand made odd formations and touched the snakes periodically on the heeds, which transfixed them, and kept them from biting her. She almost got bit once, but managed to pull off some amazing stunt with her hand and the snakes left the room one by one.

      Thoughts:
      Different kind of ex dream here. The perpetual evening of this dream gave it a particularly surreal vibe. The backyard and pool were comforting, the kind of feeling I’ve had when vacationing at really nice homes. Safe, warm. I’m not rue what the crow means. Crows in waking life are important to me, so it isn’t unusual for me to dream about them, but these circumstances feel a little symbolic, but Im not sure of what.
      I’ve had dreams of large snakes before, several times in fact, but this one felt almost shamanic.
      The Obama reference, just weird!
    7. 16-06-30 Bike Ride Into the Netherlands

      by , 07-01-2016 at 12:26 AM
      I recall riding a bicycle, and feeling a very strange sense of euphoria. I kept riding, and in no time I knew I was in the Netherlands (I live in Belgium, not that terribly far from the border). I found myself in a grassy clearing, with trees all around. It was clearly summer. I left the bike behind, and stumbled around a bit. I felt "high" the whole time. I wanted to take a picture with my phone of the gorgeous landscape, which was hard - my vision was blurry and shaky, and movement felt weird. I pointed the phone directly at the sun (which was beautifully shining between the trees), but it took so long that I noticed a whole lot of people had moved into view. I didn't see them because of the sunlight shining directly into my eyes. They may have brought an RV or tents, not sure. Anyway, they noticed I was aiming my phone at them, and I realized how dumb I had to look to them. I stumbled off like a drunk in shame, back to my bike. Once there, a guy spoke to me (in Dutch with the correct accent) about something. He accidentally touched my bike, and it broke (almost fell apart, really). He apologized and offered to pay for it. He asked me how much I wanted. I was thinking about this, and that's all I remember.

      Updated 07-01-2016 at 12:43 AM by 17412

      Categories
      non-lucid
    8. Active Shooter

      by , 06-30-2016 at 10:47 PM
      I dreamed I was inside of a building at night, or early morning and had an argument with some people inside, so I walked out. It was dark and the parking lot was full of cars, then i heard a series of loud bangs and impacts on the wall beside me. I saw a guy hit the dirt to avoid bullets as smoke popped off the walls where he was standing. I looked to my right and saw a dude wearing a brown vest, blue jeans and maybe a ball cap holding a semi auto rifle. it was weird looking, he cocked it by twisting the barrel back and forth and then he started shooting again. people started running everywhere. i got behind my car and i heard a voice tell me to get behind the engine. i reached into my car and got two pistols out. a little 380 and a glock with a rubber coating on it. i don't own a glock and it felt like the gun was coming apart from it's coating. i put a round in the chamber and crept up behind some other cars to try to get close enough without being seen. the dream turned into a free for all with everyone walking around with guns out looking for this guy who had just vanished. I woke up and turned on the television only to find that there was an active shooter at joint andrews...that turned out to be some kind of drill...not buying it at all.
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    9. A Visitation

      by , 06-30-2016 at 06:48 PM
      I don't think visitations or ghosts or life after death are true (and moreover, I don't want them to be true) but being objectively sure that something didn't really happen doesn't change the fact that you believe it while it's happening. In any case, I'm not so foolish as to not accept peace that is offered to me, regardless of how it happened.

      This isn't how I normally post my dreams. This one has left me with some pretty weird feelings all day. And it's hard to write about so I'm just going to ramble it all out as it comes to me without worrying at all about writing correctly or choosing the right words or whatever. It was very intense.

      I'm walking through a hall in a dark noisy restaurant when I think I see H. I see people who look like her at first glance all the time out in public, but this time she recognizes me also and comes up with a HEEEYY!!! for a hug. It scares me at first, then I realize it really is her- inexplicably. She looks good- healthy and smiling. Her hair is cut like right after C was born. She's vibrant.

      Something must've changed for me in recent months because I felt none of the usual desperation to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her or somehow convince her to stop, think, ask for help, turn back time, or any of the other typical intense feelings that usually accompany these dreams. Instead, I just think, oh- she's here right now. It's OK. Make use of the time.

      And the dream then took on that shiny, ringing, clear quality that I've come to associate with lucidity. I knew I was dreaming. I tried really hard to focus. It felt like an intense effort because I kept getting distracted by things and then redirecting my focus on H again.

      We were sitting in the same side of a restaurant booth. It was noisy and dark all around us. H's hair was longer now, just above her shoulders and curly. She was leaned against the wall and I was facing her with my back to the aisle. I kept getting a creepy feeling on my back and I kept having fleeting thoughts that she would change at any minute. That she would become a zombie or that she'd start to look decayed. At any moment, I expected her brains to explode out of her skull, but then I remembered- no, it wasn't a gunshot. I looked at her arms, expecting to see them covered in blood, but then I thought- no it wasn't slit wrists either. I started to wonder what it was, how had she done it, and I could feel a memory deep down in me, of her drained of color on the couch, slumped over, of her mashing up pills in the kitchen, and then I pushed it away- I wasn't there, I didn't see that, here she is now, maybe it didn't happen. Disbelief is a powerful thing, and the horror of it all started rising up in me- it was real, I thought of H bloated and wet in the viewing, but I pushed the memory down, down, down. I had to focus on what was in front of me. It was like staving off panic. I wanted to run or shut my eyes and fall back into a deep sleep, but I really did latch ahold of some deep strength or trust down in me and ran with it. This was H, not a zombie, not a body, maybe a ghost. I had to go with it.

      So I forced myself to look at her very carefully. This is the part I can't really describe because her face was very real. It was really like looking into her eyes, looking at her face, her smile. I kept saying, wow- I've missed your face. She laughed a lot. I put my hand on her face and asked if this was weird. She seemed very deep and serious at times, very patient, then she'd laugh. Meanwhile, I kept feeling the dream slipping away and it was really difficult to stay in it. I would try to think about what to say- it seemed there was something very important I needed to say- and the more I'd try to think about it, the more the dream would get away from me and so I had to keep refocusing on her face which was seriously vibrant and as real as if it weren't a dream at all.

      I told her I loved her. I've done this every time I've dreamed about her, and this time it was very clear and we seemed to mostly be on the same page. She told me she loved me. She had not done that in any other dreams. At one point, I did ask her what the hell she had been thinking. I don't even think words exist to express the disbelief- I mean, there is a confusion that's unsettling. I just can't understand it. I need an explanation. Like if I can get the missing piece and put the puzzle together then I can undo it all. What was going through her mind? She looked away and seemed very distant and slightly annoyed- the way she was when she wanted to avoid a topic or deflect or when I was being tedious. I apologized. I told her that I was sorry for not having been a good friend lately, and I told her how I kept replaying all the signs I missed and that I was so sorry. She seemed resolved. She seemed to have deep regret too, but it was something that could be tapped into rather than something that was raging on the surface. It seemed like she was telling me to move on already, but I could tell it bothered her. It was the same response that she had the morning after she was arrested and I went in angry to confront her. Her response showed that she had already internalized how much she'd fucked up and that now what she needed was for everyone to let it alone.

      Then it was her face again, so real. It was like a flashing series of her face - laughing when we were young, intense when we were having serious conversations, patiently irritated when I was being immature. Different hair styles and different ages- images of her flashing before me.

      After that, we were sitting at a table now in the middle of the restaurant. I refocused my lucidity again and thought about how real it all felt. I could simultaneously feel myself in bed- I could feel the pressure of my eyelids. But here I was, everything as vivid and detailed as if I were awake, sitting at a table with H. We agreed that it was real. I asked her about what it was like being dead. These didn't seem like the right words though, because here she was, as real as can be. She started talking about some issue with some women in the place where she exists now. I couldn't really understand what she meant. Apparently they had some task that they had to carry out together. I asked if it was like heaven? It wasn't that exactly. She was less interested (or unable) in telling me exactly what it was like being dead and more interested in talking about this particular disagreement that she was having with some women who were also in this place/space/whatever. I thought to myself, this is typical of our conversations.

      I fell asleep. I lost lucidity. It happened while trying to follow H's story.

      I'm at my neighbor E's house. A small black dog has come up in her yard. The dog plays with my dog. I notice that it has a collar, and I call the owner. He says he lives upstairs- could I bring him the dog?

      There is a stairwell leading up the pecan tree in my front yard, and at the top is the long gated corridor of an apartment complex. I push open the gate I see two shiba inus. They run to the edge of the platform and look down to the ground as if they are about to jump over back towards my yard. I stand very still and call them towards me, assuming that one of them is Saskia. But they come to me and I see that they are both strange shibas. Right as I scoop them up into my arms, the door at the end of the corridor opens and a shirtless middle aged thin smoking man comes out. He's wearing sunglasses and jeans and has the leathery skin of a man who's had too much sun. He calls the dogs- all three are his.

      I'm riding in a car with E now. She's on the left and I'm on the right. The car is like a go-cart; we sit on top of it. I have the steering wheel but no brakes. I realize the brakes must be on her side, and I tell E to coordinate with me so that we can drive. She says we should switch sides. I ask her to grab the wheel. Just as I'm about to climb under her to switch over, I remember H.


      I'm back in the restaurant. H is sitting at a different booth now. Across from her is a woman about our age. They are animated, discussing some drama involving people I don't know. They have their smart phones out and are texting someone about all this drama. She is still real, she is still vibrant, clear and healthy looking. But she's very engaged in the current moment. H was always very good at this, while I'm always spoiled the present by spending too much time in my own head or getting meta about every situation. Even now, I want to return to the question of what it is like being dead, what she was thinking when she did it, how she feels about it now. I want something deep and life changing to happen. She listens to me say these things, but she's clearly moved on to another conversation. I have no interest in the woman sitting across from her. H has always had a lot of friends. Some stay around for years, some come and go. Because I'm judgey or perhaps even snobby, I've never understood most of her friendships outside our own trio. They were mostly (not always, but most of them) transient and uninteresting- shallow relationships with uninteresting people based entirely on shared conditions / work places / drama. This isn't always true of course- some of her friends were amazing people. But in between all the really interesting and serious boyfriends and all the really deep and creative friendships were dozens of random and uninteresting short term affairs and third wheel women who I knew would not be in her life more than just a few weeks and therefore I never put out any effort towards getting to know them. To me, H had a brighter spark than the vast majority of the people in her life. And I looked at this woman, summed her up and dismissed her. Then I started to feel a little jealous that I had to share my time with H with another random person.

      I thought all of that in a second and also hated myself for being such a bitch about it and for trying to make the moment about me. Clearly, H had given me a visitation, and here I was asking for more and continuing to misunderstand her. What I've learned since she died is how deeply she could live a moment. She lived in the present, and she was always willing to share other people's experiences in that same moment. And this is why her life was full of people everywhere she went. After she died, one of the things that was hard was recognizing this for the first time, feeling gratitude for having known her so well, and then immediately feeling regret and shame that I took it for granted when she was in my life. I'm too meta. I'm too judgemental. I don't experience the moment. And even as I was sitting there realizing this, I was thinking about all of this rather than joining in the moment with H and this other woman.

      I sat back and shut up and listened to them talk. It became clear to me that they were talking about the same situation that H had tried to tell me about before. It was not something life-altering or deeply important. Just some issue in their daily life where-ever or whatever that is when you are dead. They were discussing what to do about different people. They were gossiping with some indignation about something that seemed rather petty to me, especially since the larger context involves the answer to what happens after you die and they seemed completley uninterested in discussing that at all as if it were a non-issue. And I realized that H was absolutely FINE. She was behaving in exactly the way she always had, handling everything the same way she always had, so she had adjusted and she was fine. This was H, living whatever this new life was, and being OK. It was a really peaceful feeling. She was totally wrapped up in the daily life of whatever situation she was in now, she had friends, I needed to stop trying to drag her out of that and back to the death and to my grief. It's not about me and it's not about the death. She knows I really did love her and would really do anything at all for her, and I got to tell her that. It was just something that happened in a moment- it doesn't change everything about her; we don't have to stay in that moment forever. Now she was moving on, and this conversation had nothing to do with me. She was gossiping and rolling her eyes about whatever it is that is happening in her life now. She is sharing a moment of indignation and friendship with this woman. I didn't need to barge in.

      So I left.

      Then the dream was flashing images again- mundane things including memories of times with H, but loads of things. The waterfall at Hamilton Pool. R before his hair turned grey. Washing dishes. Picking sticker burrs out of Lucy's feet. I could feel myself still in my bed, that eyelid pressure- and the images were overpowering. Someone says, "This is all there is. This is the way you go back home again." But I don't know what that means. When I think about going back home, I don't even know where that would be. Probably the words were just nonsense. The important thing was that I felt, really vividly and intensely, a desperation to continue being alive. I mean, a real desire to live. It is an almost tangible burning thing.

      That was the end of the dream. The whole thing had taken place between snoozes on my alarm clock around 5 this morning. When I woke up, I didn't remember any of this for a few minutes, and then it all came flooding back to me when my husband asked if I'd had a nightmare. I had. I had forgotten. Earlier in the night- around 2 - I'd been sleeping on my side facing R with my back open to the bedroom. And I'd had a nightmare that a zombie or a ghost (the sort that has been haunting me since H died) was attacking my back- poking and tickling me and I couldn't move to stop it. I screamed, woke up, went to the bathroom, went back to sleep, forgot until R mentioned it. When he brought it up though, I remembered the feeling and then instantly remembered sitting in the booth with H staving off that panic- feeling that something was behind me but fighting to focus on staying in the dream with H. And then I remembered the rest of the dream that I just typed up.

      Updated 06-30-2016 at 07:20 PM by 38879

      Categories
      Uncategorized
    10. Is it possible to salvage?

      by , 06-30-2016 at 05:49 PM
      - Trying to get into a college library at closing time, everyone was streaming out when I needed to get in. Going against the flow of people.
      - Not knowing what to do.
      - Being told to teach English instead of ICT.
      - Searching around looking for something I could scavenge to make metal parts for musical instruments. Finding metal latices of metal cubes. Finding cupboards full of old metal gizmos, wondering if I could break them apart to use.
      Tags: flow, metal, music, work
      Categories
      non-lucid
    11. A social life

      by , 06-30-2016 at 05:13 PM
      much transpired in this one. I was travelling the dream world meeting friends in various places, and I ended up in this resort of some sort with the dankertons. Me, Chris Geordie and Tyler were in one room, Arshia and Schwartz were somewhere else. There were beautiful girls around, and I was trying my best to get to know some of them. At one point a guy came by and we got in a brief rap battle and that seemed to impress them, but I knew I was about to share a room with 4 guys. Out of nowhere arshia comes and says that he and Schwartz are leaving early and their deluxe suite is open. Game on.

      Sadly that dream ended quick due to noises in reality and I went back to sleep.

      The next dream I was immediately flying through a canyon toward a massive landing area full of craft. I realized I was in a future where everything can fly - cars, boats, houses, you name it. Aurora and Kris were there talking about how to best choose a flying craft, and I hopped in a minivan and flew away. I landed at a house where Claire and some friends of hers were hanging out. Once I got here I sat at a table and started showing my beachman watch to Mustafah. I realized I'd shown it to him before, but he didn't remember as it had been in a dream. I thought that exact thought and did not reality check, oh well.

      End of the dream I joined the actors in a scene that involved going in and out of that house, but not a single person had read the script beforehand and we had to guess what to do as to not piss off the director. That didn't work, so I just woke up instead.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    12. Burn It To The Ground

      by , 06-30-2016 at 04:58 PM
      I'm in the backseat of a car. There's a hot European guy that I know who is sitting in front on the right side of the car. He's driving, and I'm a little confused as to why he's driving from the right side. Maybe because he's from Europe? My mind goes over all the complications of driving a European-style car on American streets. There's a big, beefy guy sitting in front on the left side. I wonder if he's the bodyguard. When he shifts, I notice he also has a steering wheel on his side. Who's driving?

      I woke up rather abruptly due to the sound of the cat throwing up. After cleaning up the mess, I checked the time and found that it was still way to early in the morning to be up. I went back to bed, trying to remember what I had been dreaming about before. I focused on the mental image of Hot European Guy as I drifted off.

      I am on a ship (or maybe it a balcony on a cliff?), looking out over the railing. There is a long drop to the water below. The sea is a gorgeous shade of blue-green. There are all sorts of ships below me, and my eye is drawn to one that was half sailboat, half whale? The image starts fading and I know the false awakening is coming. I find myself in the kitchen of the house I just moved out of last week. Right away, I knew I could not really be there. I start heading for the door, though I find a bunch of rainbow-colored straws that are blocking my way. But I kept going, because I knew I'm not supposed to be there anymore. I make it out the door. At this point, I am almost awakened by the sound of a motorcycle revving outside. I focus on the dream imagery, and Hot European Guy appears on the street on a motorcycle. He tells me to hop on. I carefully climb on behind him, grabbing his hips with both hands and press my front against his back. I have a vague memory of the task of the year involving a dragon, and I will the motorcycle to turn into a dragon with Hot European Guy and I clinging to its back. He turns around and asks me what I want to do. I point to my old neighborhood and told him to burn it to the ground. I'm never coming back here.
      Categories
      lucid
    13. Chase in Tehran

      by , 06-30-2016 at 12:45 PM
      I was awake. then closed my eyes and then I imagined that I am near the gate of on the subways in tehran <4rah'e Veliasr> Then My imagination became true (WILD) and I went to dream in there. Then It was lucid. I entered to Subway station and then after a while I was in a train station with 2 beautiful girls. I took their hand and I walked. then I looked my back. There was a witch that was chasing us. I afraid and flied with 2 girls and near there I descend in a farm land. I imagined that this land be my mind and start to grow increase some Mind Development Material in it.
      Categories
      lucid
    14. 1 LD = 3 TOTMs

      by , 06-30-2016 at 12:03 PM
      after my first proper WBTB since months! i used SSILD for induction, also didnt used it like for months, i felt pretty confident to have a nice and long quality lucid

      i am in a city and walk down the street. i tell someone? on the phone? about my diploma thesis. "the gathered results there where up to date at that time..." i have an awesome mood and keep on moving. an elevator left to me opens and i make a small jump to scare them a little and smile to them just because i feel so good.
      just like that i get lucid and keep on moving some meters. i remember the basic task. i look around and everywhere are some people so i move back a little and found a girl with his boyfriend moving up some stairs. i decide to pull down her skirt and repeat it with her underpants. her boyfriend looks awkward down to the ground, she tells me "oh [my name]" like i would have told a bad joke and stands around. two guys that where next to us smile and look down on her bottom. since i knee anyways because i pulled her pants down i give it a short lick but i dont want to waste time with sexystuff because i have a lot more goals to check so i stand up and tell her to put up her pants again. before anyone react i already move away and see another girl with a dog? i approach her and knee before her for what reason i cant remember [i think i worried a little that the dream gets unstable so i grounded myself with a detail?]. i notice that i am still a little caveman and so i stand up and move on. i remember both advanced tasks and i decide to do the pokeball one. in waking i have incubated a little how i wanne approach this task and so i move straight to a guy and ask him/tell him i want to catch him into a pokeball but he dont have to worry i will let him out shortly after. [with this i wanted to make it feel easier because there will be no battle or resistance] he looks not that enthusiastic but since this is my dream he has no chance anyway. to summon the pokeball i look to him and say "ah and the pokeball is right behind me right" and i point without looking at a place behind me "but more on the right side?" he starts nodding. now i look to the point where i point at and see the pokeball. i smile because it works like a charm and pick up the ball. next to me is a girl or something? it feels like a witch [i hear harry potter audiobook at the moment] and i feel like she will prevent me from catching this guy. i push the button on the ball and throw it at the dude, the ball opens but it only bounce of him and nothing happens. damn it... i pick it up with TK and throw it at one of two ghost next to me [damn you harry potter xD] but the ball flows thru him. i pick it up with TK again and this time a guy approaches the scene and is next to the guy who i tried first. i throw the ball at him and he gets soaked in to the ball. i smile again and pick up the ball. i hold it in my hand and start moving around again. after some time i remember that part of the task is to let the guy out again and so i throw the ball. it opens the guy gets out and in same second the dream is fading.
      i think i dont wake up but have a change in scenery where i lose lucidty.
      i walk with a friend of mine in a mix of office and climbinghall. i see at the of the wall a climbing wall where a dude is belay a girl at the wall. i have the strong feeling of already knowing him and i already told him once that he is doing something wrong. my friend is laughing about him. he hears us and approaches us. i welcome him friendly and tell him that the thing he did was not smart. while telling this i suddenly have multiple ropes in my hand and i wrap them around my hands and start to swing a little. someone is pulling me backwards strongly and letting go so i swing to the ceiling on both sides. i do a backflip in the air and get lucid by that again.
      "this is a dream again or still!" i move around and i see a office with some tables and people in suits. moving around i want instantly to phase thru a glassdoor but it wont work because in the last moment i feel insecure... i take a bowl per TK into my hand with some teabags. i move on and see a secretary i remember the bonus task and start moving and shaking my feet like it would be a earthquake. i say "wow do you feel this i think this is an earthquake" she looks up and agrees that this must be an earthquake but she seems not to bother. on the side of my visual field i see a window and outside some signs falling apart. i stop moving around like pretend because now i dont need to pretend anymore. i move to the window and for a short second hope that it wont get out of control and start to strong or end bad. i sit infront of the window and look around. shining Advertisement signs fall down and make some sparkles. i look at the street and see how it starts to crack up and to make a big hole. i feel satisfied to accomplish the bonus task so easy. the earthquake ends and i stand up and move over to the kitchencorner to make me some tea "hm i never drank any tea in a lucid" i think and expect a mug being in a wall cupboard. i open it up and find a mug with some water in it. i put it out pur our the water and start to boil me some water. since it need some time (doh..) i look around and think about meditate a little but the ground is wet so i imagine to know that next to me are some pillows and fair enough i look to my left and see two pillows. i them both up with TK and want to sit down as my roommate approaches me. i connect a bad feeling with him and think about to approach him and to resolve my waking life problem with him but the dream fades again and the scenery changes.
      i loose lucidty and hear him telling me/a friend? that he just cant do it anymore. the music is too loud there are to many birds and he just cant sleep anymore. i sit somewhere outside and somehow feel like this is a dream and try TK on an item but it wont work because i feel insecure about my state. i move to a sign where some letters are pinned with magnets and i try to change them in something like Good bye but the letters are wrong and it wont work. i wake up for real

      Updated 06-30-2016 at 02:58 PM by 87116

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , false awakening , memorable , task of the month
    15. 2016-06-30 vague dreaming

      by , 06-30-2016 at 09:39 AM
      late to bed (2am), stress at work = vague dreaming

      earlier:

      +(f) talking about fishing with someone. "If I'm going to be doing nothing standing around for a long time, maybe I should then be fishing doing nothing?"

      later:

      +(f) in a house when a lot of dwarfs come home (from Lord of the Rings?) a lot of greeting and back-slapping going on

      +outside, huddled along a fence, with wife(?), in a small enclosure opened against the fence, someone says he likes that place and is huddled down in a corner. I'm looking at tennis shoes, I select two, and they don't match.
      Categories
      Uncategorized