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I'm in House #1. [So much for recognizing dream signs... :/] I look through a window that looks out onto the patio from the side opposite the dining room [um... in real life, that would be the bathroom window, from which such a view would be impossible...] and see that there's a wasps' nest hanging from the eaves outside the dining-room window.

I'm in the garage, and I say goodbye to P. There are two cool, old, red, elongated, flat-topped cars there (one might have been a convertible). My parents are taking me out somewhere, but I haven't been able to find anything I want to wear, so I'm only wearing my royal blue bathrobe. [I used to have this robe in real life, but I don't anymore.]

[Dreamskip.] I'm driving the brown car into the parking lot where our hair salon and the OSH hardware store are [back in our old town]. I'm naked, so I try to crouch down so that the other drivers around don't see me. When I try to park, the driver of the car that's parked crookedly in the space next to mine decides to back out and straighten his parking job, coming close to hitting my car, but narrowly missing it. I cower in my seat, frightened. When the driver gets out of his car and comes over to talk to me, I look down to check the arrangement of my blue bathrobe, which I'm suddenly wearing again, and make sure it's covering me decently. The other driver tells me that he didn't hit me.

Then, four young boys (10 or so) come to my car and start pestering me relentlessly, climbing in it and all over it and talking to me loudly and annoyingly. I yell as loudly as I can at them to GO AWAY. I'm surprised that I'm capable of yelling with that volume. After I yell at them like that about three times, they finally go away. I'm trying to keep my blue robe on and maintain my modesty, with only partial success. I continue to do so once I've moved from my car to a patio table on the sidewalk outside the hardware store. [I don't recall getting from one location to the other.] People pass me by on the sidewalk as I try to keep the robe up. Next to me on the sidewalk, B.W. and his chorale friends are getting dressed for a performance.

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Side notes:

This was an interesting twist on a classic anxiety dream. It featured the common dream scenario of being naked in a public place and ashamed of it, but it combined that scenario with two stressful occurrences from my waking life: a minor car accident in a parking lot, and the very spirited all-boys class I've been teaching once a week. In the dream, I yelled more loudly than I ever have in real life. Do I unconsciously wish I could yell that loud in reality? It's a plausible hypothesis.

I'm at work, viewing the contents of my work e-mail account. I discover, to my surprise and dismay, that earlier, when I logged in to Petpet Park from work using my existing password and my new work e-mail address, the site created a whole new account for me and began sending e-mail alerts related to that account to my work e-mail address. Each of these e-mail alerts is marked with one of Petpet Park's pawprint icons. I'm very worried that my boss will see these e-mails and find out that I've been goofing off and playing games at work.

[Different dream.] I'm having a somewhat heated discussion with my parents about my living arrangements.

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Side notes:

I was already consciously aware that I was anxious about the topic of the second dream, but not the first one. That first dream brought my guilt and fear that my less-than-stellar work habits will be discovered to my conscious attention for the first time. I love it when dreams give me useful insights like that.

Frag#1
I was is an a extreme state of anxiety and could find no relief. I was offered a beer, I told them that I do not drink (and I don't irl) but I ended up drinking it anyway . Slowly as I was drinking I felt my stress leave me. I was so happy to finally be free of my anxiety, but I started to feel guilty that I had drank since I was under age, plus a conversation I had with S irl. I get another drink and sneak around with it trying to find a place to drink it where no one can see me, until I accidentally leave it in an elevator, and when it reopens it is gone. I turn to the people I had been drinking with and say "I just made someones day" and we all laugh. I left the dream just feeling horrible to resorting to drinking to fix my problems, knowing that it would just make them worse.

Frag#2
I was some evil little boy trying to kill someone. The dream was mixed with me modeling in maya. I was using the maya tools to aim my blasts at him.
There was more to this I just don't remember.

(my recall has sucked lately )

I was bad again and didn't write these down.

I was in a one-on-one fight using staffs against someone else, next to a railing separating us from the river. I was clearly winning and didn't even want to finish the fight, I didn't want to make him look bad. My opponent said if I knocked one of the empty plastic bottles into the river it would end the match. I did so, then realized I was littering! I tried to fish it out of the water but it was too far away. Then I got in trouble with the coordinator and I tried to explain to him what happened and why I did what I did and how I regretted it, but he didn't care. Anxiety.

Next dream I was in my room and people were playing soccer in my front yard, people were watching them through my windows, somehow a ball got in my room even though my windows had screens on them and someone tried to through it back but it kept bouncing of the screen so I took it and ran downstairs and threw it back.

I'm going to work at an elementary school [neither of the ones I work at in reality]. I have to go back out to my car to get something. There are other people out in the large, flat parking lot. When I finally head into the building, it's already 3:00, a full hour later than I was supposed to start working. I'm mad at myself because the fact that I got started late means that I can't count that first hour (2:00 – 3:00) toward my total number of AmeriCorps service hours. [LOL! No, no, brain, that was my last teaching job.]

I can hear the faint, muffled sound of repetitious, vaguely pop-sounding music playing from somewhere nearby. I realize that I've woken up in my bed. [Not really.] I'm still tired and decide to stay in bed.

I wake up again in a slightly different room. [Again, not really.] This time, I take my throw pillow and pull it over my head. [Yeah. I fail at catching false awakenings. :/]

Non-lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

Night of April 22-23

I have returned to Japan to live there again. I live in an apartment that is in the same city and the same neighborhood as the one I lived in the first time, but it's several times as big, and has a separate kitchen as well as a larger bathroom.

I'm outside of the building, on the north side of it, standing on a large, open, elevated concrete plaza. [It kind of resembled the one that's part of the queue for Space Mountain at Disneyland, now that I think of it, only bigger. It definitely doesn't exist in real life, at least, not there.] I admire the view of the nearby hills and the old houses that are on top of them. [Um, what?] There is a tourist there with me, pointing a camera to the south at the big apartment building behind me. I tell him that he's at one of the three or four most popular places in the city to take pictures. [What. There are an awful lot more than three or four such places in my city, and that certainly isn't one of them.]

I have a conversation with someone in Japanese, and I seem to handle it fairly well. The words come quite easily. [And I don't remember any of them being off or weird, as they sometimes have been in previous dreams.] Nevertheless, I feel concerned about my Japanese language abilities no longer being adequate to deal with the day-to-day tasks of living here, especially not now that I'm fully responsible for dealing with all the transaction details for things like bills and rent. [This is currently of my ongoing background thoughts in real life, too, but one I haven't been able to give much conscious thought to. Obviously.] I take out my foreign resident registration card, look at it, and think, This is the one from last time, so it's expired now, but it'll be good until I can get an updated one. [Um, no. It doesn't work that way. I don't have the one from last time anymore in real life; I handed it in upon leaving Japan to return to the U.S., which is required.]

Night of April 23-24

My mom and I are driving through a wild area in the brown car. We're looking for an outdoor wedding ceremony that someone told us we should attend. We drive along, and I spot the ceremony: it's taking place on the opposite side of the river from where our car is. We drive along the river for a ways, looking for a place where we can cross it and turn around.

[Different scene.] My mom and I are shopping in the shopping center nearest our house [the one we often walk through in reality]. We're in a smallish, narrowish store that sells beauty products. We leave it and walk along the walkway that passes in front of all the shops, heading back home on foot. There is a man there who only has the upper half of one leg left, and who gets around on crutches. There is also a woman in an electric mobility vehicle there. She's wearing a T-shirt [I think; or it might have been a sign] with text on it that says that she's from a very large family, and that her mother started having children when she was only 11 [!!]. I get into a very long, involved conversation with this woman. [I don't remember most of it now, but I do remember that] One of the topics of conversation is how different our points of view and perspectives are because of the different experiences we've had. At one point, I say, “And I don't care about kids, unless they're my students.” She replies, “You see? Different perspectives.” We walk all the way to the end of the shopping center and turn up the road that leads back to my house.

[B]06.04.11[/B][COLOR="royalblue"]

I was standing on the platform on a train station. It resembled, or at least in my mind it was a train station i know from real life.
But it wasn't the way it usually was, this time it was curved, and there was a staircase that lead down into a tunnel to my left. The staircase was in the right spot, and there was a platform on the other side of the rails, just like in real life. Difference was that the staircase lead downards, instead of up.
The train arrives. Me and a pair and perhaps a few others realize that we're on the wrong platform. I started running, down the tunnel to get there. I think I notice some people in the tunnel, but I don't remember what was different about them. I think it might have been a litle girl and some man talking on a phone.

When I get up on the right platform, I see on a sign that the right train arrives in 1 minute, and then realize that it's actually already here, and not only that, but it's already started moving. For some reason, it stops and lets me get in. There are 6 seats in every row, with still quite a lot of space to walk in. Looks more like the interior of a plane than a train, it has seperate seats with seat belts.
I'm stressed out from being in such a hurry, so I'm not thinking clearly, so I just quickly scan the room and sit down on the seat that's farthest away from the window and closest to the space where people walk past. I realize that there's a little girl sitting in the seat by the window, which makes me uncomfortable and anxious. Somehow we end up in a tickle fight, and another little girl joins in. No idea where she came from... [/COLOR]

(I promise you not all of my entries will be about nightmares, haha, just gotta get this one out of the way first.)

I was 8 and living in Wyoming at the time when I first had this nightmare, and it's the first nightmare I can remember (and like I said in my other posts I mostly have anxiety dreams, only have had 2 nightmares I can remember). I've had this come up when I was 8 twice (about 6 months after it first happened, right before I turned 9), again when I was 12 right after we moved to Nevada, and when I was 15 I had a dream that spotlighted a scene from this particular nightmare.

It's mostly in first person, which I rarely dream in. I'm my 8-year-old self, walking around my house in Wyoming like it's a regular old boring day. It's really sunny outside, so all the nights are turned off and all the fans are turned on. My sister's nowhere to be found, I assume she's at a friend's house or something. My parents are out in the backyard, so I find myself wandering the rooms looking around aimlessly. I go back in my room and find my doll, who turns out to be Cynthia, the same doll Angelica has in the Rugrats cartoon. I held her up, exaimined her, and then looked at my bed. Normally I had a few of my stuffed animals surrounding the pillows, but all of my stuffed animals had turned into dolls or stuffed humans. The moment I see these on my bed, the sky outside turns orange and thick, like there's a fire nearby. I glance at the window then glance at the door and run for the backyard. The sky is so thick it's almost red as I run out through the garage and patio onto the grass. There I'm horrified to see both of my parents are engulfed in flames. But what makes this less horrifying is that they are giant stuffed bears, almost like they're wearing mascot costumes. I know they are my parents, but I'm suddenly understanding that all humans are now stuffed bears and all stuffed animals are dolls or stuffed humans. My parents are running around in circles, screaming and on fire, making little footprint-shapes of fire on the grass which is starting more of the fire. I'm hearing dramatic music in the background that's telling me it's gonna get worse. I can't get my legs to move so I can get to them to help them. I'm screaming for them and going "No!" and all that dramaticness an 8-year-old can possess as she's seeing her parents go up in flames. As I'm screaming, I wake up, realizing my face is wet from crying and I'm mouthing the words "No, no no no..."

The waking up bit has happened each time I've had it until the dream I had at 15. The only thing I remember from it was that my parents were in it asking me "remember what happened 7 years ago?" and I have a little thought bubble pop over my head with the scene of my parents as giant stuffed bears screaming and running around on fire.

TA DA

So hi, this is my first Dream Journal entry. I have a few friends on here who got me into this whole dream journal thing, so I've been writing a few details I can remember of my dreams in a notebook next to my bed. And what a better way to start out the first DJ with a nightmare?

I literally don't have nightmares, I can only remember one nightmare and it's a repetitive one I've had a few times between the ages of 8 and 16 (I shall DJ that one later). I get more "anxiety" dreams than nightmares where I'm just unsettled and panicked but not literally frightened BUT this one's really intense. Let it be known that it took place in my old room back at my parents house who I only visit a few times a year.

(Disclaimer: I've told this to a friend, and she suggests it's deep enough that it could be a story or a book or something, so if I end up doing that, TOO BAD it is my story and if you claim it as yours I will be really... sad. I won't be 100% specific for this reason. That is all.)

OK the nightmare. Sorry.

I had this dream the night of March 28th, 2011. Basically, I'm viewing myself in a third-person kid of way where I'm birds-eye-viewing the whole nightmare so I can't do anything about what's going on, but I am able to see my character (I'll explain later).

There's a "devil" - more like a white guy w/ black hair and a red suit and black collar - who is a completely real person with evil intentions. He sends out a massive call to the world that he's got a bounty list of people who are doing good things against the devil in some way. The public's reaction is "well this is scary but we can't do anything about it so just go with it I'm sorry." The list is sent out through the media but me as the dream-viewer can only make out a few names that I can't read. But then the last two people on the list are both my character and my partner's names. Then in comes my cheesy dramatic transitions I get in my dreams, where its like my birds-eye-viewed self is filming it, so my birds-eye camera zooms in to the character's dramatic facial expression, there's dramatic music, all that.

Then I - and my character - has a vision of sorts, seeing what the devil does to the "devil offenders." They're in a blood-red room that has no walls or ceiling (so big it's endless), and there's several people sitting in the center of the room in those old-school hair dryers that go over your head like a space man helmet. But instead of a space man helmet it's a stove bruner, the coils hovering over the person's head like an angel's halo. The devil says the word and the unforeseen henchmen pulls some level somewhere that lowers the burners down against the people's heads that burns their head and brains and BLEH, along w/ some electricity that eletricutes them dead. I see my partner in the corner handcuffed to a metal bar on the side, looking distressed.

Insert dramatic music transition here. From here on assume when I mean "I", I mean my character of myself I'm seeing.

I am kind of like Temperance from the "Bones" TV show, where I'm an investigator of some sort with a slightly goofy/gorgeous partner and we bring justice to bad people. I'm in the same haircut as her, the same kind of outfits and all that but I can't recall if I'm actually HER or not. My partner - whose name is unrecognizable to me, I literally hear gibberish when I'm saying/hearing/reading his name - is a more tan-colored-trench-coated-blond version of Booth from Bones, but he's definitely not supposed to be him.

ANYWHO, I've seen the coverage on the news on a TV, then had my vision and realized I'm on the list. Here's where I'm all omgomgomgomg in my head. What the media also says is that there's a helpline for the people who are on the devil's list. There's some announcer going "Are you on the list? Call ###-####" or whatever in a cheery "nothing's wrong everything's ok" kind of voice. I reach for a phone and dial anxiously. I get the same girl's voice as the operator. I then tell her I'm on the list and I'm trying to explain to her that I'm an investigator and that's probably why I'm on the list but I don't know what to do I don't want to die. As I'm explaining, I see on the TV set in front of me that there's one person who survived the list - an actress who played a private investigator role on a TV show - and her interview was coming up next. I focus back on the call, and the girl operator takes everything I say into consideration and says she can help me. In mid sentence of her transferring to somebody who can help, the line goes dead. again. I instantly think I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die. Dramatic music like it's gonna go to another transition, and I FREAKIN' WAKE UP.

It's about 6am. I feel suddenly anxious, lots of adrenaline, and then I see the shadow on the ceiling. Part of it looks like a horn and a shoulder. I'm all and move the items on my desk haphazardly so the shadow goes away. Then I feel like and can't believe I just had a nightmare. I'm unable, thank goodness, to get back into the nightmare.

TA DA

FIRST DREAM:

Come across news article about 'Roy Spencer', older gay gentleman, now dead, victim of a hate crime. I write an angry article about how if only anyone gave a fuck, maybe this sort of thing wouldn't happen. (The gays can't even get a leg up, this is a huge fking problem, how's a tranny even supposed to deal when a gay man can't even live without being beaten into a casket.) 'We can all sit around and whine and bitch to other gays within our closed social circles about this, but that doesn't solve the real problem- the fucking problem is Out There, in the REAL WORLD, not in the stagnant, 'safe' homosexual microcosms we create for ourselves in big cities! The only reason these exist is to keep us from remembering the truth- that out there, we're fucking sideshow oddities and second class citizens! Did you know his name? Did you? Yeah, if you did, maybe this never would've happened, right? Because no one fucks with the gays in YOUR social circle. So what, we have to know a shit ton of other gays, be part of a buttfking gang in order to be safe, be respected? What about all of the other gays you don't know, the ones you can't protect because you *aren't* sleeping with each other? No matter how big the homo microcosm in San Fran gets, guess what! Roy Spencer is still in bumfk Egypt, Georgia, getting pillaged to death! THINK about that!' I talk to Justin about this within the dream, as we go for a walk through China town on the way to my old home on Kukui Street. He thinks this is all hilarious, and feigns anger to 'get me all riled up', but the only thing that comes of it is I mouth off to him, too, for being white, male, 'straight', cisgendered and middle class, and to top it off, indignant. END.

SECOND DREAM:

Had a birthday celebration marathon that included many of the students from my middle school, years and years back. Part of the fun was driving racecars around on the ice, which was incredibly dangerous, but we didn't care. This was a race we held every year, but this time it was setup so that it would take place on my birthday. Ambi often won, so she was talking smack about how she was the best, 'because my mom's a racecar driver! And quite frankly, I know how to drive!' But one of the blonde girls from my intermediate school, who played the part of 'the new student' showed up on a Kawasaki Ninja and when it came to the race, left Ambi in the dust. She whined incessantly about this. At the end of the race, her and a Bruiser(from Borderlands) had ended up in a draw, so they had a rematch with just the two of them on a track. We had to ride a trailer to a new track since the cars had turned the road on the previous one to slush.

While we were in the motorhome on the way to the new track I was admiring 'the new girl's skin, which was flawless, and I was thinking about telling her to take good care of it, since she looked like she had the potential to age beautifully, but I didn't have the nerve to even talk to her. She seemed to think I was creepy. I was afraid she'd make fun of me. We decided to stop by the side of the frozen desert at a little roadside restaurant, where it was now Scott's(another kid back from middle school) birthday instead of mine. When I turned a dial, all of the seats rotated so that everyone was sitting in a new formation. I arranged everything so that it would be 'perfect'.

Someone had tacked a note above the table I was sitting at, that had UV reactive ink on it that you could only read with a special flashlight. I found the flashlight in my pocket and me, the new girl, and two other guys, one who wasn't me, but looked like I do in WL, read it: 'The people assigned to sit here, Scott actually has huge crushes on. If any of you would be so kind as to strip or at least get topless once he has his seat next to you, well- that would be quite a present now, wouldn't it?' I remember being surprised that this implied Scott was at least bisexual, possibly more into dudes than girls (wtf?) seeing as to how the fraction was 3:1. I was embarrassed, because I'd stripped my wifebeater off before I'd even read the note, since for some reason it was ungodly humid within the diner.

One of the girls across the restaurant whistled and yelled something like, 'Well, he sure is quick to fulfill wishes, isn't he!?' I heard another girl yell, 'God, he's so skinny! You could eat from the depression under his ribs!' I started to turn red and, stuttering, insisted that it wasn't my intent to 'make a show' out of taking my shirt off. I started trying to scramble back into it before anyone else catcalled me, but Scott was already having a seat. The boy who had my face said, 'Aww c'mon dude, don't fuck it up right when he shows up. At least let him get a look at'cha, Skeletor.' Scott overheard this and was mortified, and said, 'Did... did someone tell you something about me that you AREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW?' He started to panic.

I didn't want to lie, but I didn't want to give him the impression I was 'undressed for him', either, but I was also afraid my full explanation would seem like a rejection, not to mention being paired with revealing that people had been gossiping about him. I hated the drama and wished I never knew, and that I wasn't here. END.

New LD!

It started as an anxiety dream at work, with people piling up in the restaurant and nothing ready. Then I realized it was a dream (this kind of anxiety is a dream sign for me). A DC of a guy I knew in college walked in, and I spent much of the rest of the dream telling him this was a dream. I did use a technique from the boards: at one point I insisted so excitedly that I was dreaming, I almost woke up, so I closed my eyes, spun around, and thought "Higher level lucidity," and when I opened my eyes, everything was more vivid and solid.

I also had a dream that I was sitting at a coffee shop having a live discussion of last night's "Nature of perception" thread

I had another weird, dark, plotted-out dream, where I was a young guy who had just bought a house. It was a quiet suburban neighborhood full of plastic-looking landscaping and identical houses, but the neighbors would babble nonsense and shoot at each other with shot-guns. Another neighbor just filmed everything with a big movie camera. I was outside snooping around, and the former owner of my house appears, ends up stabbing me in the shoulder with this huge knife, and him and the camera guy take me back to the house, where they keep me as a hostage/slave for the rest of the dream.

I also had a dream set in my hometown at some indeterminate time, maybe seven years ago. I ran into this girl I haven't thought of in ages. She's probably in pretty bad shape in waking life...last I knew she had a degenerative disease that required the periodic removal of chunks of her intestines.

(Update: thanks to Facebook, I now know this chick lives an awesome life driving race cars and jumping out of planes in Colorado )

This is the first of two dreams I had on February 7th, 2009.


I am following a narrow dirt path that goes down a steep hill. The path leads into a temperate forest that gets thicker the farther down the hill I go. I have to be careful and keep my balance otherwise I will lose my footing and fall forward. I cannot see the end of the path because it is so deep in the forest. I pass by some animals and birds, but I can no longer remember what kind of creatures they were, though I was able to recognize them in the dream.

The path branches out several times to the left but I can neither see where those paths lead, nor seem to be able to voluntarily break off from the path I am on and follow one of those left leading path. My head, as I go down this steep forest hill, is always turned to the left. I am not afraid of anything, nor particularily curious, but I cannot stop and the farther down the hill I go an image of a snake I fear running into starts to appear in my mind. In the dream I keep refering to it as a "corn snake" and feel that I would be in great danger if I came across one.

The farther down the hill I go and the deeper into the forest, I know the likely hood of coming across a "corn snake" increases. The path going downhill abrubtly comes to an end and turns suddenly to the left. A narrow clearing allows sunlight to hit the path through the trees. I can see a large light brown and grey snake slithering across the path on the egde of the clearing and I while I know that it was not a "corn sanke" I decide that I have had enough forest exploration and turn back. I can now freely move about and am no longer compelled to move in only one direction. When I reach the part of the path that starts back up the steep hill, a long dark brown snake with beige oval patterns on its back slithers out of the bush right behind me. This is the "corn snake" that I have been trying to avoid.

Going back up the steep hill is much harder and takes much longer then going down, but I move as fast as I can to stay ahead of the "corn snake". I am full of anxiety and am sweating from the fear and the workout and in the dream I do not notice that the snake makes no threatening moves towards me. It stays just behind me and keeps up with my pace and acts like it doesn't even notice my presence.

I make it to the top of the hill and out of the forest and look back to see that the "corn snake" has disappeared. I walk along the path, which widens to the size of a country road, and walk away from the forest. The landscape is not flat and there are many hills, but none so steep as the hill that went down into the forest. There are giant lizards, glowing orange and red and snorting fire balls exvery time they exhale, walking to and fro along the path and into the plains. They are about the size of horses and do not look friendly. I do want I can to avoid being seen by them which is to no avail because there is nothing to hide behind.

Two of the giant lizards start towards me and I begin running. The lizards give chase, but they are cumbersome and slow and I am able to stay ahead of their flaming spit balls. I come to a crossroads, near which I find two rings. One is silver and is icy to the touch and the other is gold and has an oval design which is set with an orange stone. I put the rings on and instictively become aware that wearing the gold ring makes me invisible to the giant lizards, and wearing the silver ring gives me the power to freeze things. The left path circles round and follows along the edge of a thick deciduious forest which has recently had snowfall, and the right side path goes on into the hilly plains where many giant lizards have gathered.

I start along the right path, thinking that I can just walk past the giant lizards unseen but the two that were following me start circling the crossroads, knowing that I am still there, even if they can't see me. The dream is blurry. Something about trying to freeze one of the lizard's breath or the lizard itself. Something else about making a run for the snowy deciduous forest? Attracting the attention several lizards? I eventually figure out I am temporarily visible when I am trying to use the ice ring and I know so because the orange gem in the gold ring glows while I'm visible?


I cannot remember anything more from this dream.