Thursday, 8/6/20, Core2 False awakening. I heard my alarm going off but something made me suspect I was dreaming and that the alarm was just part of the dream so I didn't hurry to turn it off. I was laying in bed and not moving easily. A finger count reality check confirmed I had too many fingers but for some reason I still wasn't 100% certain I was really dreaming. I thought about rolling "out of my body" and flying but I was reluctant to fling myself out of bed if I turned out to be awake (it's not close to the floor). What can I do that would be easier? I wondered. I tried to affect my environment. The sound of the alarm faded in and out with my focused thought, then I made it go silent. The entire visual of my room faded as well. Oops. I rolled out of bed and floated to the floor, having now convinced myself I was in a dream and that I needed to stabilize it. A lapse in consciousness as everything faded to black briefly. I found myself standing in the upstairs bathroom. Wait a minute, I thought after a few seconds, How did I get here? Am I still dreaming? I counted my fingers; seven, eight. It was very strange because my hands looked so normal even when I stared directly at them. I checked a couple more times just to convince myself once again. I was looking around me in amazement because everything was so realistic, an exact replica of my waking life bathroom. Clearer, even. I stared at and felt the bumps on the wall, saw how light reflected off the semi gloss, mint green paint. I decided to go downstairs to look around some more. I hope I'm not just awake and really sleep deprived. I thought idly, Otherwise people are going to think I've really lost it, staring at the walls and talking about how amazing they are. As I walked down the stairs, I pulled at my hand, trying to see if I could morph it. I did, slightly. The weighting of gravity felt so realistic as well that I wondered if I would be able to fly in this dream since it felt like it would be difficult. I tested it by jumping off a few stairs and confirmed I could float. It felt stranger than usual in this environment. I reached the kitchen where my mom was doing dishes. "Hey Mom," I said, "This is a dream." "Oh, yeah?" she said. "Yeah." I thought of what I wanted to do with my lucidity. "Do you want me to show you how to fly?" I asked her. "No that's okay, I already know how to do that. I've done enough of that lately." She went back to doing dishes. I was somewhat mystified by this decision. "Oh, okay." I wanted to go out back so I started looking around for the nearest exit. I went and opened the front door. "Well, see you later." I added. Wait, why am I looking for a door to go all the way around? I could just take a straight shot through the kitchen wall. I changed course and flew at the wall. I can't believe some people get stuck in walls, it's never happened to me. All you have to do is not think about it. So then, of course, it happened to me. I got stuck in the wall halfway through. It felt like I was moving through molasses and everything went dark for a couple seconds. Then I could see an extremely vague back yard scene. I focused on a point relatively far away - since the closer focal points weren't yielding results - and I set a strong intention to go there directly. I essentially teleported to the intended spot and the scene became vivid and clear once again. I flew above my yard, which was roughly accurate to waking life but much bigger. I spotted my late cat Pascal, a fluffy, 24-pound Maine Coon, laying in the yard just past the redwood tree. He was staring up at me. I flew lower and slowed, with a bit of difficulty controlling my height and speed initially. "I don't regret any of it!" I announced to him out of nowhere once I landed in front of him. "Well, except I wish we'd realized how sick you were sooner so you didn't have to go like that. We wanted to be there." I knelt down next to my cat and pet him, talking to him about our time together when he was alive, telling him how much I loved him, and pulling twigs and leaves out of his fur. He just continued staring at me with big eyes and purring, though I got the sense he was listening. The dream lapsed into a non-lucid. Spoiler for Additional Notes: Definitely one of my clearest LDs, and a really euphoric feeling to see Pascal again. I loved that cat so much. When he was old and sick, he started having trouble breathing and we rushed him to the vet and said yes when they asked if we wanted them to do a procedure to try to save him. He died on the operating table and I really regretted not being with him at the end. In hindsight we didn't recognize how close he was to going so we weren't prepared to let him go and also didn't have time to think it through fully during the emergency. I was determined not to repeat that mistake, and I didn't the next time one of our elderly cats, Talis, no longer had quality of life. It was very tough to make that decision and to find the right balance, but I know that in that case Talis' needs came first. Anyway, it was still good to finally get to tell Pascal how I felt and how much I loved him, even if it was just in a dream.
Updated 09-15-2020 at 12:19 AM by 17503
9th June 2020 Catching up on DJ again. Dream: (last part, my original notes sort of start at the end but cycle back to this point in some way) Was in a WoW-like game or reality. There was this nest on a cliff I had to reach from this insanely long ladder along another cliff face. I wasn't sure how high I had to climb before I'd be able to make the jump towards the nest. At some point I jumped and I remember sort of gliding a bit, eventually reaching the nest. I remember noticing a book covered in twigs and small bones. I looked this up on a popular WoW database to read comments on either the book or this location. Then I wiped it clean (from what? dust?) but don't recall what happened after that. Some guy riding a bear mount? Not sure. Then I remember myself, taking off the ground on a nether drake. I flew up a bit but not that much. There were Shattrath guards following after me through a forest that was not like Terokkar next to the city. The guards were throwing hammers of wrath at me as they pursued, most hitting me but doing little damage although this was whittling my health points away. I knew we were still in the Outlands because there was a cliff's edge, and nothing but void beyond and below; I remember the characteristic Nagrand-like sky. I rode my drake over this threshold of sorts and from past the edge, looped under the floating land mass, hiding there with my drake in some sort of underground cave area... I saw blood elves fly over and away on their bloodhawks toward the endless horizon and void. The distraction worked and I lost them. Then I left the bottomless "cave" underground and went much higher than before. Something was happening and a massive black dragon was appearing and the sky also dramatically changed to darkness and red tones. There was some NPC shouting something, but I don't remember what. I remember having passing thoughts about Deathwing and Alextstraza and how they looked feral with their "old/out of date" models. Then I remember flying toward the dragon and at some point jumping off the back of my drake and landing on a platform (on the dragon?). There, I found blocks like in Boundless. Interesting patterned blocks, like mosaic and celtic twist patterns on stone and they had red and black colour schemes. I began to "vein mine" the blocks the vein mining technique eventually stopped working and so I gave up on harvesting these interesting blocks. The next part I remember, I had ended up on a red dragon's back. We fly over mountains and cliffs and from here I spot the nest and jump off, gliding through the air somehow and trying to land on the nest. Instead, the winds lead me to the ladder. Notes: - I think it was in this dream; the area in which I found the bear mount rider was something like the WoW zone Grizzly Hills, with tall pine-like trees. - The way my original notes were made have altered my memory of how the dream's chronology worked out but at the same time it has created a nearly perfect cyclical flow of the dream which did lead me to remembering details I otherwise may not have recalled that morning. - The black dragon may have appeared before I thought of Deathwing, but I believe the two would have come in tandem regardless of which appeared first. - This dream involved a lot of flying or gliding and basically high altitude locations with little solid ground to speak of. In the dream and game worlds I don't typically ever have a fear of heights, despite the fact that in reality they make me feel uncomfortable as I become highly aware that a mistake could cost me, fatally so even. - Over the last few months I have had passing thoughts of the Burning Crusade and about nether drakes, so this dream probably came about as a materialisation of that or as a self-feeding experience.
Awake|Dreaming|Lucid I slept in our summer place this night I'm outside our summer place and are about to walk up the stairs. I know it's a dream but I know that I'm trapped in the dream narrative. I have to do something to become full lucid. I think to myself that it's only a dream and that I can control it. I'm now full lucid. I walk up the stairs into the room I fell asleep before I slept this night (The Blue Room). No one is there and I open the window in order to fly away. I Fly but the sensations I get is not satifying. It's like I'm in a shell that is moving. I force the dream to make it more real. I start to exhort the dream to make me feel the wind in my face. I feel the wind but it's obviously fake. My vision is getting smaller as the dream fades. I'm in the blue room where I fell asleep this night. I look to my side and see two small sparrows. I look away for a second and look back but now there are four rats instead. I go away from the bed and wonder how my vision could make me think that the rats were actually sparrows. There are a cat under the bed and I try to pet it. It's playful and it goes on it's back so I can pet it's stomach. I walk down the stairs and realize it's a dream. I look down on my hands and the left hand is normal but my right hand has turned into grass just like the background where I look on the right hand. I look to the sea but it's just black. I try to see something and there comes a really big boat by the waters. I fly to it but suddenly see a flying boat. I go to it and there are Pia, Sebastian and Felicia. In the dream I didn't think that it was weird that the boat was flying. I had a non lucid dream about telekinesis tonight. I remember it being interesting and I'm sad that I don't remember that much about it.
Saturday Night, 7/18/20 I had an FA. I noticed that the perspective was wrong for waking up; I was looking down on my bed. I floated around the room a bit, confirming I was dreaming. I noticed the room was vague and the dream did not feel very stable. I aimed for the floor of my room and landed, bounced up and down a little trying to feel the carpet on the soles of my feet. I could hear a soft crunching sound, like the sound of velvet being gently crushed. The dream faded anyway, my vision going black. However, I still felt more connected to the dream than to my waking life body so I tried to imagine "throwing" myself back into the dream. I opened my eyes, a bit uncertain whether it would work, but it did. I was back in my room standing on the ground. I floated again to confirm. Up near the ceiling I grabbed onto the top of the cube structure where there was a wooden platform (it's sort of like the top of a bookcase). I alternated between staring at the wood grain and rubbing my hand across the wood. Sure enough the grains of the wood became incredibly detailed and lifelike. Looking around I could now see the lines on the palms of my hands, the bumps on the blue walls, the sharp outlines of various pieces of furniture. Satisfied that the dream was fully stabilized, I phased through the window of my room and glided over the land below. It was quite beautiful out, sunrise coloring the clouds. Although my backyard was much bigger than in waking life it was otherwise consistent with its current configuration. At least up until the stand of bamboo at the far end. Behind there and off to the right, instead of a fence, I found an open plot of dirt with a partially built lighthouse. At last! I thought, Although, I was kind of hoping to have it by an ocean... I considered that on the one hand it was convenient to have it close to my house but on the other hand I would have to use some trick of the mind in order to make use of it as I'd originally planned, as a lighthouse by the sea. Off to my left a woman and two young children were wandering from the bamboo forest into my backyard. I waved at the family. The youngest child, the boy, seemed to be the only one who saw me. He tried to get his mother and sister to look over. The mother squinted in my general direction and shrugged before continuing on her way. The little boy looked confused. I told him not to worry about it. It wasn't clear if he could hear me. I returned my attention to the lighthouse and saw that the first floor was thoroughly encased in rock and therefore inaccessible. I had planned to have steps carved into rock leading up to the base of the building and I mused that the dream must have constructed it this way like a bug in a video game when it was placed somewhere different from the intended landscape. The next two floors were far smaller than I'd planned. Beyond that it was completely unfinished. I began planning how I would fix it and build it out as if I were using Minecraft blocks. I wondered if I should leave it with its current black and white colors or change them to match the colors I'd planned for it when I designed it in waking life. I had only just begun modifying the structure when I heard a loud sound. Annoyed, I looked up to see that some random guy on a motorcycle had ridden up and parked behind the lighthouse, apparently oblivious to my presence. When I saw that he wasn't going to interfere further I tried to return my concentration to the task at hand but the dream faded into a different scene and I lapsed into non-lucidity. Spoiler for Additional Notes: Made progress on two of my LD goals: creating a lighthouse and experimenting with dream cartography. The lighthouse is a place I designed in waking life that I had never encountered in a dream before. Basically I was trying to incubate it by creating drawings, written pieces, and even a design in Minecraft creative mode (which is no doubt why I ended up modifying it with Minecraft blocks in this dream). This was my first success in finding/creating the lighthouse in an LD, although I'd come across a version of it briefly in a non lucid once. I'd originally planned to build it from scratch near a particular recurring beach location. Instead I found it partially constructed... in my backyard. I didn't actively work to recall my waking life goal during the LD as I usually would, instead I just explored and found what I needed quickly. That makes this my first successful LD incubation attempt, as well. Additionally, I've been wanting to not only map out my recurring dream locations but to experiment with creating new ones and testing their level of permanence and the permanence of the connections between dream locations. Behind the bamboo in my backyard happens to be one spot I'd considered using for experimentation as I'd rarely gone into the bamboo area in dreams and never off to the right. Apparently my subconscious decided to combine two ideas and gave me a partial lighthouse in that spot. I think I'll just find some way to work with this development. Maybe I'll use the lighthouse like a TARDIS lol. Another side note: When I was very young my dad started building a wooden playhouse in the backyard and never finished it (eventually we took it down). This seems to be a symbolic reference to that, although I'm not sure why.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening[/B] Among humans there are reptilians and vampires living peacefully as humans. They are so integrated nobody even cares about who's who, basically people have vampire or reptilian blood so diluted over time they don't even manifest powers, it's just traces of genes in their blood. But some reptilians started to manifest shapeshifting powers again and secretly organized and decided they want to rise to power. They are deeply infiltrated in the police and with the support of a large police force they attack a vampire "church". They aren't even able to fight back and they are totally massacred. I was nearby with friends and we watched it all in shock. Curfews are implemented, horrible stories of random groups and people being attacked and killed and heads cut off. But then some degree of normalcy is established and the authorities themselves implement rounding up all vampires, supposedly for their safety, but we know they re being sent to concentration camps or killed. I am in school when a letter arrives and the teachers call me in front of everybody. They are telling the other kids that people like me are being taken to beautiful camps with leisure activities and they even have a brochure to show me. I call BS and tell them all I have watched massacres and kids like me being beheaded and serving as food for reptilians. And there is something they don't know about me, I can fly. So I quickly jump on a window and fly away. The teachers sound the alarm and they activate a chase but they can't fly like I do so I get to a safe distance quickly. I draw plans to get a compass and a map and fly at night and hide during the day, so I am not spotted, until I reach the neighboring country which seems not to have descended into madness.
Awake|Dreaming|Lucid Me and my sister have inherited a lot of money and building material. We walk outside our house and we see all these building material. It's actually just some big paper rolls with paper inside. I open a paper roll and take some things with me in. Two strangers on the street look suspiciously on me because they think I'm a thief and I'm stealing from the house's owner. I tell them that I live here and they become calm. I walk inside and we notice that all the money is gone. We just have the building material left. We decide to build something and sell it so we get our money back. I see a broken pogo stick and try to jump it. It doesn't work so I decide to fix it. I don't know how to do so I ask my dad. He shows me how to remove some parts and shows me that it was the spring that was old and had lost its elasticity. We remove the old spring and look in a box full of different kinds of springs. There are many different sizes and forms. I pick one I think would suit but dad says it's the wrong shape. He picks a very thick and short spring that I don't think will ever work. I take it and it doesn't work. Instead my dad takes it and makes a basket for basketball. I'm telling Madeleine that I'm sorry and that William really is the best outside a big house. (I cry when I say William's name) I think it's a dream and do a RC. Cool, it's a dream. I try to summon a fire in my hand but it doesn't work. I walk outside and run to finally jump and try to fly. When I jump I just fall on the asphalt and do a kind of sideways somersault to not hurt myself too much. It still hurts. I think that it isn't a dream anymore and think to myself that I'm going mad because I can't distinguish reality from the dreaming world. I also think that I'm going to hurt myself more badly next time when I try to jump from a building to fly maybe. I became lucid in another dream but only remember this. I'm stabilizing the dream and it feels more real than in most cases as I rub my hands together and on my cheeks. I fly and it's not going that well. Notes: It was so hot in my room and I kept on moving in my sleep, waking up from different vague dreams all the time. One of Madeleine's closest friends just died, that's why I dreamt about saying I'm sorry to her. This isn't from this DJ entry but for some time ago I dreamt about Gabriel and that he was in trouble so yesterday I asked him if he wanted to hang out with me. This is the first time I have taken help from a dream directly in real life. I have let my dreams guide my real life, that's pretty cool I think. We are going to play some table tennis and take a bath I think.
Updated 06-25-2020 at 08:41 AM by 97565
Monday Night, 6/1/20 Finally broke my dry spell and got a lucid! Didn't last long but I'm happy for the change. I recalled a ton of dream plot from last night but I'll skip to right before the lucid section: I was running down a deserted street in a suburban neighborhood, accompanied by a DC named "Chris", an in-dream boyfriend of a few months according to my dream memories. We'd just finished some schenanigans that ended with me shoving him behind a bush in front of his dwelling so he could finish getting dressed without the neighbors seeing him half naked. Don't ask Anyway we were laughing and running down the street and I started taking some leaps and jumps into the air as I ran because I was feeling quite happy and energized. I found that each jump carried me quite high, and I started to test just how high I could go. Soon I was floating up into the air. "Flying means dreaming." I muttered to myself because that sounded like a familiar phrase somehow. "Wait, I'm flying, so I'm dreaming!" I said. I glided along and spun around a bit. "Woah, look what you can do!" Chris said from where he was running on the ground. "You can do it too!" I told him, grabbing his hands and pulling him into the air. I let go and twirled him around in the air by making a circular motion with my hand. Right around then I heard my alarm start beeping. Chris and I stared at each other for a moment then the dream started to fade. When I opened my eyes I had that heavy, difficult to move feeling that told me I could still go back into the dream if I wanted to, if it weren't for the fact that I had to get up to turn off the alarm. A little annoyed, I broke the connection to the dream by moving and went to turn it off. Tried laying down again but was too awake by then to get back to sleep. Spoiler for Additional Notes: Throughout the earlier dream I noticed a few strange things. Two or three times where items appeared as if by magic when I knew I didn't have them but looked for them anyway, my dream sign of a yet another toilet with no privacy that I could see from another room, and clocks multiplying from just one to three of them on a wall, all with conflicting and rapidly changing times. Then once I started flying that phrase "flying means dreaming" popped into my head the way a catchy commercial jingle might. It's a phrase I've repeated to myself in waking life many times, especially when going over old records for missed opportunities. A few moments after saying it to myself in the dream the actual meaning sunk in. I haven't done much with mantras in the past, but I think I'll be focusing on them more now that I've experienced the potential benefit first hand - and almost by accident!
I am with Melissa at Dad’s. I say ‘at Dad’s’, but it looks like it is the kitchen and then absolutely nothing else around it, just kind of a barren expanse/void. It seems like it’s really early in the morning, and I’m making food and getting ready for work. I’m making spaghetti, and when I put the noodles in the pot Melissa mentions how there’s lots of ‘Zoe hair’. I think I just say ‘no’ because I don’t care or because I’m kind of embarrassed. It’s now ready and I’m putting it in two containers but also eating some because I realize I need breakfast, which leaves a smaller portion than I wanted. I look over and Melissa is scrolling through her phone. She takes a while to respond, or just doesn’t, which causes me to become very angry. I shove some of the tupperware, and then I can tell that she knows I’m irritated. I think I am only wearing boxers. I am on a plane with Makayla. It’s crowded and everyone wears a mask. She’s talking to a boy about her age and I amicably join. I am blissfully rising up and floating through a clear blue sky.
Sunday Night, 5/3/20 Dreamt that I ended up in the ER due to some serious respiratory issues. They gave me a bed right next to a couple people infected with coronavirus. They looked like they could be dying from it. I asked the nurse if it was safe for me to be in the same room, especially in my weakened state. She told me it was fine and that "They're six feet apart!". I wasn't reassured, especially since it was more like two feet. Is this even a real hospital? I wondered. This isn't the right procedure. I then noticed there was no medical equipment anywhere, just cots. I laid there, fading in and out of consciousness, wondering if this was where I would die. At some point I found the strength to escape from the place when no one was looking. An involved plot followed where I got captured by a sociopathic serial killer in an abandoned industrial building. I managed to hold him down at one point but worried I wouldn't be able to maintain control of the situation until the police arrived. I don't think I did. The police did arrive, however. Three cops entered the building. I switched to the partial perspective of the lead detective, an older man close to retirement age. He/I instructed the others to split off and make a little noise to fake out the serial killer so he thought we were all approaching from a different side. Meanwhile I went off a different way as quietly as I could. The surprise ambush didn't work. The killer was holding a gun to the hostage, who was now actually a cat instead of a person. He gave me the ultimatum of taking a shot to the head to save the cat's life. I got the information that this cop was depressed and felt empty without his work to look forward to. He/I took the deal and for some reason I knew that the killer would adhere to the bargain... because he was just that particular brand of crazy. I somehow survived after taking four gunshots to the head. I was not in great shape, however, and knew I needed to seek medical attention. I staggered out of the building and into the forest at night, making my way down the path. I gradually became myself again. I came to a short, rustic stairway with a wooden railing. Around that area I noticed a few swarms of flies. I stopped and stared for a while from a distance. I wondered about what type of flies they might be and why they were swarming here. I crept closer to get a better look and discovered that there was a dead crow laying on its back and that's what had drawn the flies to the area. I stared at the crow for a few moments, then I stepped past it and continued a short distance along the path until I reached the edge of a college campus. The Narrator spoke, telling me that I was going to be alright. I turned my face to the sky as dawn was approaching and lifted up into the air, drifting above the campus. The Narrator gave me instructions on which direction to travel. It seemed odd to me that I was flying but I reasoned that I must be in some sort of virtual reality simulation. Yes, that's it, that's why I heard a voice. I figured. Spoiler for Additional Notes: The first part of the dream is likely at least partially a result of the shelter in place in waking life, although I hadn't been giving much attention to fears of getting sick, at least not on a conscious level. The serial killer was likely a result of watching a short documentary on a sociopath the day before. For me the end of the dream stood out the most: seeing the dead crow felt meaningful in some way, as did deciding to just walk past it and flying at dawn. Between the Narrator being present and the realization I could fly, this seemed like another almost lucid. Unfortunately my mind rationalized it away instead of questioning it further.
LD 120 - Gliding and Flying Again After struggling to fall asleep again, I sink into my thoughts about my sister keeping a vlog on youtube, which happened in a previous dream. While thinking about commenting on the videos and stuff, a dream has formed around me. I’m gliding on the floor of an empty apartment and spinning too. I’m in a resting position like in waking life, but just spinning and gliding. Suddenly I’m outside on a sunny day, gliding on a street through a city. My thoughts rationalize slowly that I must be dreaming. I continue to glide down the street until a store stops me. I don’t want to go inside again, I remember struggling to get outside in previous lucids. I stand up and start flying over the city. I cross over a small river and notice there’s a dark spot covering half of my vision. It’s my waking life hand that’s resting on my face. I try to ignore it and make it go away, but I focus on it too much and wake up.
I am flying. It seems that I’ve looked around me and noticed that I am maybe fifty feet or so up into the air. I notice the blue sky surrounding me and have to concentrate hard to keep moving upwards. There are two birds that I surpass. I notice a white fence way down below and continue using all of my willpower to stay afloat. There is music playing, seemingly just emanating from the surroundings, that I can hear crystal clear (but don’t remember) and that helps me stay afloat. I think I eventually come down. I am on a walk and almost back to the house when I notice a house with an open garage. There is an older man sitting in a chair at the threshold with what looks like a border collie at his feet. It looks like he is having a small garage sale with most of the stuff in the garage (I think the driveway is short). I walk up and start petting the dog’s soft fur. I briefly consider the possibility of this spreading the virus, but the man doesn’t seem to care. The man seems friendly and pleased to have company. He says hi, I ask how he is, and we make small talk. Despite his amiability, I sense something slightly off. I notice a box of books and a box of what looks like VHS tapes. There’s really not much more, and nothing that catches my attention. The man asks if I have a MasterCard. I tell him “I have a Visa card,” not sure why he’s asking, unless he has a card reader. I was about to leave, but he starts telling me that he wants me to leave a card since I’ve already looked at stuff. A little baffled, I tell him it’s not that I don’t trust him but I just don’t feel comfortable doing that. Mom now shows up, like she was on a walk too. I tell the man I live right across the street, gesturing to the house directly across the street, asking if that changes anything. He contemplates and then says no. Mom and I just walk away from him; he accepts defeat without a word and sits back down. I notice his kind of creepy, flyaway white hair. I am in some house; Mom is here too. I open the fridge and see that I have about ¾ of a glass of dark beer left. I wonder if it’s still good. I open some cabinets where the trash should be, but only find a ton of empty craft beer bombers.
Morning of April 21, 2020. Tuesday. Dream #: 19,482-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. This dream is a typical random summoning type in instinctual mode, not much different as those from early childhood on, though in this one, I atypically abandon the usual vestibular system correlation in the last scene to remain in my dream (though there is no drop anticipation other than a lesser form stemming from my relaxed arm muscles during sleep, when I release the wrenches with liminal somatosensory integration), though, as a result, my dream self’s perceptual mode becomes incorporeal and non-dimensional, resulting in an exponential decrease in vividness, and I meander in slow flight (about four feet above the street) back through the unknown neighborhood, considering if I should reset my dream and start the narrative again or wake. I decide to wake. The main scene relates to using telekinesis to rapidly summon items into my hand to augment my dream’s imaginary somatosensory dynamics. I do this in an unfamiliar office building with one large room. I mostly summon random items, primarily wrenches of different sizes, an association with adjusting sleep-wake management. I have an association with gold coins to augment the process. However, as an incidental influence from having seen “Outer Banks” recently, a small gold bar (about the same size as in the Netflix series) quickly jumps into my hand from underneath papers strewn on a desk. I maintain a cheerful disposition. Other people are walking around but I do not interact with them. The sleep-wake manager, as an unknown male, enters my dream’s narrative as a result of a lesser association with the imaginary proprioception of dreaming. (A car is an extension of this, correlating with the imaginary physical body and its dynamics while dreaming.) I get into a car with him driving and my dream vivifies, with an increase in imaginary proprioception. I sit in the front while others sit in the back. It is assumed to be occurring in America, as the driver’s side is on the left. We travel through an unfamiliar neighborhood and I have no destination in mind (and not much of my waking-life identity is extant). After a time, I instinctually play around with the process. I give the sleep-wake manager the wrenches I had summoned. (I often hold a vertical bar of the bed’s head while sleeping, which increases the somatosensory dynamics of the dream state.) However, they fall through a narrow space between the front seats. I give him my gold bar. I phase from the car, losing my sense of imaginary proprioception and defined illusory physicality as I remain in my dream in incorporeal non-dimensional flight for a few minutes as described earlier. There are variations of the process. I sometimes phase through the roof of a vehicle, though I phased through the door in this instance. Phasing from the roof to fly is more likely to vivify a dream, though in one recent dream, I stayed on a bus as it dropped a full story to a perpendicular street below, vivifying and sustaining my dream for several minutes.
Lucidity? I am in my house. Suddenly, I reality check and (maybe, not sure if this is just dreaming I am lucid) I seemingly get lucid. I reality check, but for some reason, it doesn't work but it seems to help retain lucidity anyway? I then run my hand along a cupboard while walking into the living room because I remember reading that touching things helps ground you in lucidity. Then I lose lucidity and I am standing in front of the terrarium of the roaches I keep as pets, and they are somehow escaping, one after another. I try to tell my mother, but she is somehow drunk or something and I can't really move, so they just keep escaping and I can't do anything about it. False awakening I then seemingly wake up, and suddenly I skip to telling my mother that I had a lucid dream. Weird machine story..? I am in like a steampunk sort of setting, with a lot of orange lighting, and I have to somehow repair a machine or something, and it involves somebody who is apparently my brother. I am then in my house again, and I need to get somewhere, but there is something chasing me. I reach for the bathroom window and open it and try to use some sort of wand thing to fly out of the window, but I don't fit because the window is suddenly shaped weirdly. I then go into the room right next to the bathroom and fly out of a large window there. I then sort of go to a sort of court-like building but I am not sure. There is also something chasing me there, so I fly up into the air and just float above, looking down.
Morning of March 24, 2020. Tuesday. Dream #: 19,454-02. Reading time: 2 min 40 sec. Surreal distortions and unique false memory constructs integrate with the routine dreaming processes in the standard order, with mostly a passive narrative (predictable preconscious eluding) with typical virtual amnesia. My waking-life identity meanders in and out in this exceptionally long dreaming experience. Instinctual summoning is a factor, but it never emerges into full lucidity, only liminality in the last scene. In the first scene, I am at the false location of La Crosse at the Loomis Street house. The house to its right (also on Loomis Street) when viewed from the street, is fictitiously inhabited by Earl (half-brother on my mother’s side; deceased). Bob (brother-in-law; recently deceased) is present in his house. (I have no recall of their deaths.) I walk several blocks south of Loomis Street (on Sill Street) when I become annoyed at two homeless men walking around in (and possibly living in) my dumpster (that is otherwise mostly empty). At this point, I am aware of Zsuzsanna being to my left. Unknown people are with us. I tell the homeless men to leave, but one of them pushes a big concrete slab against the door, so it cannot be opened (even though dumpsters do not have entry doors like this in real life). I become angrier and tell them that there are shelters for homeless people. They do not seem to want to listen to me as I repeat myself several times. Wall mediation (second stage) becomes viable with a chain-link fence defining the division between dream space and potential liminality (with similar processing dynamics as “An Unexpected Late Night Visit” from March 17). The homeless men are now in someone’s front yard on the other side of the fence. I summon a gun and shoot one of them. He somehow becomes embedded in the fence. I shoot at the other male, but the bullet gets stuck in the fence and does not reach him. (In the March 17 dream, I was in our present home with a sleep-wake mediator outside of our fence. Earlier, I deliberately hung a scarecrow on the fence. Also, I threatened to use a gun but did not.) Processing dynamics and instinctual elements meander, and as a result, I suddenly consider I may have committed a crime. I walk briskly with Zsuzsanna and the unknown people east down Sill Street to be out of sight in case the police arrive. I had left the gun behind and suddenly consider my fingerprints might have been on it. I return to the invalid construct of the houses on Loomis Street. Even though Bob and Earl are still standing around, the houses are missing. Only sunken foundations are left. I decide to run to the King Street mansion with the expectation of a portal in the middle room on the east side (second floor). My waking-life identity is gone again. After going through the portal in the big closet nearest the entry door, I am technically in the same world but phased to be invisible and intangible. I walk past police who are talking to the King Street landlady. They ask her about my whereabouts and in what organizations I had been. I fly and phase through buildings, going north. Instinct triggers typical subliminal awareness of being in bed. I find myself on the side of a mountain with an unknown female (probably Zsuzsanna in my absent waking-life identity). I am under a blanket with her as she sleeps. She rolls over and seems to see me, and I am somewhat surprised. “Oh, you can see me?” I ask. In a vivid offset dream, I am high above an unknown city. Instead of flying, I leap about ten feet from one ledge to another (along its length) and kick over small stacks of books that are in my way so that most fall from the narrow walkway. There does not seem to be enough imaginary proprioception or emerging physical awareness to trigger a myoclonic jerk as otherwise near the beginning of every sleep cycle.
jamie dreams First one she is sitting by a swamp on a giant leaf. she seems really down or depressed. Second one is a flash of her meeting me at an airport. speaking of which already got my first trip for youtube booked.https://hauntedhillhouse.com/booking-calendar the rob tv. Floating Almost lucid. In this one i'm at some elaborate mall or something with my brother. i'm walking down long hallway I think my boots have anti grav. I start flying up and past the people staring at me in the hallway. I get to an open area and forget what happens after. i hope i have better jamie dreams this week.
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