All DJ Entries

At my grandmother's house. Thinking about how it is always summer in my dreams but a cold March in reality. I want to go out to check the garden. There is a guarding girl who doesn't want to let me out, I tell her that I have to go to school in half an hour anyway and she lets me go.
I am in car with R. or maybe someone else, he takes a wrong turn and I am mad at him. I end up next to a mall with a group of schoolmates and I don't like it because I actually wanted to go to school. They want to go drinking. We argue in a small snack bar, right next to a railing of a mall atrium, several floors high. I say something bad to one of my schoolmates, Honza, a strong guy who weighs much more than I do. He gets mad and attempts to push me over the railing. We're struggling and the railing collapses. Seeing that I can't prevent the fall, I cling to him and take him with me. The dreams end before the fall actually happens, with us floating in the air.

Waking up disliking the ending because earlier this night, I was thinking that I would like to fly again or jump from a height. I reimagine the feeling of floating in the air and successfully DEILD back.

Falling. I slow the fall to levitation and land elegantly in a pirouette-like pose. I look for Honza and he's falling separately from me (and later than me, how convenient). I sent a rough burst of energy his way (this is like unaimed telekinesis, I am not counting it as a separate dream control because it works the same way), he bounces off it before reaching the ground like falling in an invisible trampoline, which gains me time and I catch him in more precise telekinesis and lower him slowly to the ground.
Together with my schoolmates again, I want to eat something and there is a supermarket with cash registers right next to us. There is a woman paying for her shopping and putting it in her bag. I see a truss of tomatoes there, take them (she ignores me) and put one in my mouth. I give the rest of the truss to my friends.
The tomato is awesome. Not really summer levels awesome but tasty and juicy. The sensation of eating it, including the juices bursting in my mouth and the texture of the seeds is so vivid and realistic that it makes me extremely happy. I want to share my happiness with one of my friends but she goes away and I quickly lose sight of her.
I decide to move on the 3-step tasks. The plan is to summon a potion and drink it. I check my pockets and find a bunch of thread spools but no potion.
I walk up stairs of a road overpass that should take me back to the higher floors of the mall because I am in the mood for more flying. On the way there, I also check the pockets of my cardigan and find two bottles there but they are lip gloss, not potions. I try to put it on my lips and it is extremely slimy. The bottle also leaks and the stuff spills everywhere.
I wake up, consider another DEILD attempt but decide to journal the dream instead.

Had a dream in the same world as my previous “No Outside” dream: https://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/ner...outside-94602/

I didn’t realize it until later in the dream. It started out in waterways between tall (concrete?) buildings that had no visible windows or doors.

There was a hole-in-the-wall market. At the entrance, a man sold goods to customers (literally it was a hole in the wall of one of the buildings, it was well hidden). He sold everything from foot to housewears to electronics to drugs.

He asked me what I was looking for (his products were in the back mostly, customers stayed outside and he brought things out to them). I knew I was dreaming so I though “Sure I could go for some dream drugs.”

But I knew there was something I wanted to remember to do tonight that could be applied to this moment. What was it…?

Then I remembered. I was trying to figure out how to be truly happy again (been feeling off lately). So I told him I’d like something that’ll make me happy. He handed me some drugs and I took one. Nothing extraordinary happened, I just felt sorta drunk/high afterwards.

As I left, I noticed there were cameras watching just outside. Other customers told how to sneak around them.

Through dream scan, I realized this whole city was being watched by something and people lived in secret within the crevices. These people were surrounded and trapped.

I went out to look at the cameras and realized they were the same drones from my “No Outside” dream. Same world, different location. The drones were trying to recapture people who escaped.

I ended up letting the drones capture me out of curiosity to see what would happen but woke up (either SO woke me up or other natural waking).

After the wake up, I went back in but appeared in the woods. I was standing in a path when all the sudden about thirty soldiers in light gray uniforms showed up, but most of them were noticeably drunk.

A couple others appeared behind me with a higher ranking officer in green. The soldiers flanking him moved to join the group and they all looked at him as he spoke to the group.

I just happened to be there and was in the way, so I moved off the path and watched.

They were about to go home, which I guess was why he didn’t care about some random bystander being there, or the drunken murmuring. Everyone seemed tired, done, and eager to leave. Happy, in a way? Eh.

I suppose that’s what I’ve been feeling lately, whatever the hell it is. I’m done fighting, I’ve lost my entire family, everything I thought I knew was a lie, the world has been turned upside down and will never be the same. Time to go home and live life like none of it happened. I don’t know who I am anymore but everythings fine now and I’m supposed to be happy. I *want* to be happy. If I’m broken, that means they won. All they ever wanted was to break me. I’m so angry that I’ve let them win.

I am in a dream where everything is black and white. I become spontaneously lucid and let myself wake up hoping the next dream is in full color and stability.

[color=#111188]I am in my bedroom and I do a nose pinch rc and can breath through my fingers. I fly up through the ceiling and into the sky to view the landscape. It looks nothing like my neighborhood. There are tall buildings as well as open fields.

Unfortunately I get overcome by sexual urges and I spend the rest of this DEILD having sex with dream characters. I won't go into detail there. I wake up and have to DEILD again.

I am a woman wearing a scuba suit and using one of those underwater propulsion devices to zoom toward a boat. It's night time and a man is there with me. We count down together then zoom out of the water onto the deck.

I pull out a gun and the man and I find the deck of the boat clear. We go into one of the rooms and find a room with tons of giant egg like things. I know somehow that these are eggs that will unleash demon spawn on the earth. We set explosive charges and are about to leave when a cultist comes around a corner with a gun. I act first and shoot them.

When we dive from the boat into the water I wake up and fail to DEILD further.[COLOR]

I decided to include other notes from the night and also some bits of my PR lore this time. For the lucid, see the red part.

Lights off - a little bit before 4 am
Falling asleep - quickly, a little bit after 4 am

Awakenings and recall
7:02 - several fragments
some awake time because of the cat
9:13 - 1 fragment
10:39 - 1 long chunk of the dream (almost getting lucid) and 1 shorter fragment
a little bit of WBTB time
11:54 - 1 fragment
12:35 - 1 fragment (again almost getting lucid)
13:45 - final waking - quite a lot of non-lucid content but very chaotic, three dream plots mixing together, then getting lucid

Lucid (DILD)
Chaotic non-lucid. Slowly getting semi-lucid (understanding that I have powers and wanting to practice them). I also believed I had investiture from Brandon Sanderson's Cosmere. I was running, feeling the energy, and then I decided to practice teleporting.
During my first attempt, my mum was talking to me and I had to start again.
I was standing in a kind of portico of a house or a garden gazebo with several steps leading down. I decided to use Welsh for a spell phrase - "Llwybr allan", meaning a path out. Obviously lucid at that point, I remembered Mzzkc's dream control advice from the day before and added the emotion of how it should feel to teleport away and stopped overthinking the schematic part, I simply stepped through with the intention of a movement somewhere else (nothing specific, just a significantly different location).
I closed my eyes to make it easier and walked the steps down. I could actually feel something like a shaky barrier.
When I opened my eyes, I was standing on a street in a city looking like Prague*. The portal behind me changed to a solid wooden door of a townhouse.
There was a tram stop, so I tried to find out where I was. The sign was "Pencil Square". I was thinking about how to get back to my friends and wanted to check the tram timetables but then I decided to try the teleport again, thinking that it could "remember" the way back.
I went to the door but two people approached me, a man and a woman, looking aggressive. They wanted me to go with them, acting like a sort of dream police. I hesitated and the woman pulled out a knife, telling me: "If you want to resist, I have this." I wanted to say that I can resist that too and was trying to think of some good dream control idea. Unfortunately, I woke up.



*If I stick with my PR lore, this was Dream Prague, a place where I staged most of my efforts against the Dark Lord (persistent evil DC, but he isn't limited to the Dream Prague realm, he is a traveler, or a realm-hopper, as most powerful DCs are).
But if I want to see it that way, who were the two people who tried to arrest me and what is going on there? I haven't been there for quite a long time and was doing different goals, mostly ignoring the Dark Lord. But I was told in a different dream that he plans something.

Illustration - me, Midjourney

Attached Thumbnails

 

I wrote this during the night, so I mostly just recorded the lucid part in detail. I might elaborate more on the non-lucid later. The child-man-ape things were rather creepy, and might be worth sharing.
-------------------------------------------------------------

Up kind of late. It’s about 1:00 now. I took about 2mg of melatonin a bit ago.

2:30-2:48

WBTB, read some scripture, went to the bathroom, tried a bit of meditation.

4:30am

Dream Guide (Lucid)

Apes, and those four child-man-ape things. They want to attack me, bite me with their teeth. A monument that I think is not well constructed. Trying to sleep in the monument, then worrying about the cops waking me up. Guitar dog. Machine, which is my friend. It takes off down the road, and wrecks. I worry about someone or something being hurt. I go to see, and find that a couple of little animals seem to have been wounded. I feel it’s my responsibility to shoot them.
...I decide to hold off on shooting the animals until I look up whether or not they feel pain. Heading back out of the barn, I decide that I should do a RC for some reason. I do a nose pinch, and can still breathe. I’m dreaming! I think about how this is worth 10 points (possibly forgetting that the competition hasn’t started yet), and then think I should work on a task. What task? At first I think I try to find a place – I don’t remember what exactly. Having a bit of trouble finding it, and then I decide to try to find my dream guide. I start asking for the guide, or possibly saying something like “the guide is around the next corner”. Now I’m no longer in the barn, but in a larger building. I see someone up ahead. There is a short, but wide, flight of stairs leading to a corridor that runs perpendicular, and this is where the man is. I start chasing after him (there is something for a moment or two where there is someone else with him but I don’t know what becomes of the other guy) and catch up to him. He is a somewhat heavyset man, with a somewhat thin, sandy-colored beard. He is wearing some kind of shirt or jacket, I think, with words on the back. He has a kind of archaeologist feel to him, a bit of a cross between a couple of archaeologists I know in waking life and “Nigel” from the Jumanji movie.

“Are you my dream guide?” I ask.

“Yes, I guess so,” he replies.

My memory is a bit fuzzy here, and I might lose lucidity for a bit. I have a couple of business cards that I try to fish out of my pocket and give to him. He is looking for a site to do some archaeological work, and seems interested in a place where I worked once. I seem to regain some lucidity, I think I want the guide to teach me something. He responds by pushing me down a set of stairs. I get the feeling that there is something he wants me to learn on my own, and at this point he isn’t going to help me (at least in a micro-managing sort of way). I remember thinking that he got me out of somewhere (a backrooms type situation, or something).

Now I’m in a basement area. I seem to lose lucidity again. Someone is messing with an explosive – there is some chemical that makes people do weird things. I try to hide (with someone else?) while he sets off the explosive. Then there is something about going back in time, or trying again, to stop him. The solution is not to do something with the match as the man tries to light it. This makes him try to light it with a match that isn’t working as well (otherwise he would just start rubbing the now wood with his hand until it caught fire). Then I am able to stop him, although I think his hand and arm now look like a glowing, charred piece of wood. There is a large freezer nearby, and we go in. There is some conversation about whether or not I remember smells and such (maybe – the memory is kind of fuzzy). He seems to be hallucinating. He is also a reflection in a large mirror now, and is naked. I take the mirror out of the freezer, and out to where the burning stuff was. I think maybe the transition from the cold to the heat might cause the glass to crack, which it does. I think I drop the mirror. It falls backwards to the ground, and shatters. I worry that this might have been the only way to access my dream guide, but someone nearby says something about that not being the case.

Elaboration on the Child-Man-Apes

There were some people, possibly scientists. Actually, Charles Darwin might have been there. I get the idea that they may have been discussing evolution. They were going to do some test with an ape, involving it putting boards/shingles up against the wall of a cabin. I seem to be involved in some way. I think the ape attacks me. It is as though I've done something wrong, and as a consequence I'm now under attack not only by the ape, but by four creatures. These creatures look like a cross between large children, or sickly adults, and chimpanzees. They come after me, trying to bite at me. I seem to recall the thought of their teeth biting me was specifically repulsive. I think I go hide somewhere, also trying to sleep, possibly. But there is still that creepy thought that the creatures will find me. This might be where I come across the guitar dog - which is a sort of cross between a guitar and a dog. I really like this dog, and lay there petting it. It has some weird gelatinous thing lining the outside of its stomach. This eventually becomes a machine, I think, about the size of an automobile and with a couple doll-like pieces. I treat this like it is living. When I turn around and go back to where I had been laying, it moves away on its own and starts off down the street. I chase after, worrying that it might hurt someone. It does, in fact, wreck. When I show up to the scene, it appears that it has injured some small deer or rabbit-like things. I feel responsible for putting them out of their misery, and have a shotgun with me. I don't want to, but I feel like I should put them down. I try to catch, them, and go into a barn looking for them. This leads into the dream above...

Probably haven't posted in over a month out of sheer laziness.

2 Jamie dreams: One I was in a classroom. I was aware of Jamie in my periphials. Felt like she was going to ignore me so I couldn't bear to even look her way. As I left the classroom I dared to look back. She was staring at me, also she was a dark skinned girl. Both took me by surprise.

Next Jamie dream. All i remember is being in a bedroom. She was waering something fancy... Almost mock victorian like. We weren't talking but she was staring at me as if expecting something. I'm always a coward when it comes to the first move...

2 lucids: Don't remember much about them only that I wasted both telling people they were in my dream, and in one I proved it by flying around. ( I really ought to try the TikTok LD trend where you ask a DC the time. apperently they flip out or melt.)

Last night: One dream where I kept finding a mirror that didn't reflect me bu someone else. The hair was wrong and they wore no glasses and seemed evil. I checked another mirror and My reflection was normal. I went back to the other mirror and that guy was stilll there.

Second dream i was in a large room or hallway reminiscent of the backroom creepy pasta. There was a legless black woman there. She was telling me all about how her dad was some Dentist and invented some things that revolutionized tghe Dental industry making him a multi millionaire... In the dream I didn't know who she was. I guess falling asleep to the dark tower audiobooks finally got me some related dreams.

I have taken a little hiatus from dream work, having a lot of things to do and also starting to get a bit lazy. I did have a lucid dream the other night. There was more to the dream, but here is the lucid part:

I realize that I am dreaming. I'm standing on a raised walkway above a watery area. I decide to jump out a nearby opening, either to fly or just to fling myself out for fun. I fall into the frozen water below, which isn't very cold. I try to levitate, and I might end up asking the guy that was in the dream with me to help me. I think he might help, and I float into the air. Then I make myself zoom backwards, really fast. It's like zooming out on a picture, or flying really fast. I fly a little ways, thinking that this is the farthest I have ever flown in a lucid dream (or something like that). I think I try to land at some point, angling my trajectory down toward the ground. Instead, I start going down a slope. Now I'm flying over a green, lush, mountainous terrain. I start wondering to myself if I should try to find the persistent realm I have been working on, but decide to stick to what is going on now since sometimes it seems to destabilize things if I try to change course without planning ahead. But it seems that I make the decision too late, and I start to lose the dream (or things fade away, at least).

This dream was from the night before last.

---

I was lucid through the whole night (WILDed back into it after each natural WBTB). Most of it was one big dream (there was one smaller lucid dream at the start of the night, but I forgot it).

I traveled around a world made up of holograms. The people were real, and they had a system where if they wanted an object that they could pick off the land, they had to purchase it through a system. The purchased replaced the hologram with a real object.

For example, if they wanted a to chop down a tree to build something, they had to purchase that tree for it to materialize fully.

They had big cities for people to live, society, all built with stuff that’s real from past purchases off the land. It was mainly the rural areas that were holograms.

The boundaries of the world were in the ocean. The ocean didn’t get too deep, it just cut off at after a certain point and I could see the boundary's edge in the distance.

The forests were symmetrical. They looked like normal forests, except the trees and the animals, everything in them was perfectly lined up. You can walk a certain number of steps and find the same bear next to the same rock next to the same tree stump on repeat. Each forest was shaped like a pie this way and had its own unique stuff on repeat.

There were many different holographic landscapes. They were solid and I could interact with the holograms, but I couldn't use or take them.

I at one point tested this by getting a bear to chase me. It only chased me a few yards before going back to its spot where it was locked in with an "invisible" tether.

The people in the city were nice, good people, but I didn’t like the way society operated. I forget why, but they had some sort of societal problems.

I went off into the rural landscapes and found nomads living off the land on the rocks by the edge if the sea. They got by with what little they had. They had escaped the main cities and didn’t want to go back, even though life was harder for them.

I found a nice lake hidden away in a beautiful grove. The water was no more than four feet deep and crystal clear. There was a rainbow of beautiful rocks at the bottom.

One of the nomad women rowed a small boat around the lake and I spoke to her in private, enjoying the scenery and company. She told me that entertainment, play, and any forms of self expression or leisure were frowned upon in society even amongst the nomads. They needed to work 24/7 and should not have nor desire anything more in life.

She told me that she liked to come here to this lake to be at peace. This was her haven, a secret place she could escape to, and goof off. To live and relax. This was her freedom, no matter how small it was.

I told her I wouldn’t tell anyone, that I was from somewhere far away and this was my escape, too. I’m also just looking for somewhere to relax and be at peace. I told her how blessed I am to have this time to myself in such a beautiful world.

I didn’t tell her this was my dream since that usually gets complicated and I have to explain how that works, which I didn't feel like doing.

But we had a nice time.

As I lay down to sleep last night my thoughts very quickly degenerated into nonsense sentences which is often my experience of hypnagogia.

In the morning I had a LUCID DREAM!

I was upstairs in the physics classroom and I was trying to make my way out of it. Trying to leave the room went on for quite some time [from what I can remember]. There were lots of male pupils I didn't recognise, so I was probably in the wrong class. They looked a year or so younger than me. I feel like they may have looked a bit similar to one another although not quite clones. I was more concerned with getting out of the room, presumably to my next lesson.

The classroom seemed to have lots of exits all around and the other pupils were moving backwards and forwards around the classroom in lots of lines in different directions, around the desks and to the various exits. It was a slightly unnatural pattern of movement. I remember this had the result of delaying my access to the exits. At one point I think I saw out of a window or doorway from the physics classroom and could see that it was high up overlooking a large hall with a light wooden floor which might have been a large sports hall or assembly hall.

As I slowly made my way out of the classroom around the other pupils, for some bizarre reason I kept repeating a phrase out loud in French, "Je suis [...something I can't remember]" [It would be nice if I was saying that I am dreaming, but that wasn't it.] I have a feeling I might've been trying to weird out the other pupils or somehow assert myself to help me get out of the room. That's the only thing I can remember about the end of the phrase, a vague impression that I was saying something a little odd about myself.

The next thing I remember is that I was coming out of the classroom or had just stepped out of it and I was either trying to think of the way out of the building or possibly an indistinct DC might have been asking me about it - if they were there at all, they were very faintly defined so maybe I was just talking to myself [in my head?]. I saw steps that seemed to go out onto a small felt covered roof and I think there was a bright light greyish sky. I don't think I actually went out there. I may have been looking through a glass door - those details weren't clear.

At this point I remember confidently thinking to myself that I DO know the way out of this building, that it's down these (wide, darkly coloured) steps. I don't remember the exact thought process that I had now - I may not have thought many or any words to myself at all but I very quickly seemed to attain LUCIDITY [I expect I just subconsciously remembered that this building recurs in a lot of dreams about school and moving down steps to the front of a building at the school seems to be a big DREAM SIGN in itself - it happens a lot. School itself is one of my biggest DREAM SIGNS, so is losing my school timetable, my timetable being incomplete or confusing, not having the right books, and not being able to find my way around, or classrooms and other parts of buildings moving around. In this case I'd certainly been struggling to find my way around but it seemed to be the moment that I did find the way onto those steps that brought on the possibility of lucidity].

I decided to do a REALITY CHECK as I was walking down the stairs. I held my nose and tried to breathe through it, a little unsure how well that might work I think, but it worked instantly. I must've held it for less than a second and just the momentary feeling of being able to breathe was enough for me. I was LUCID! I felt pretty happy. I probably smiled though I wasn't aware of it, just aware of the burst of happiness for a moment. At this point I thought to myself that this was the second time I had become lucid in this dream - that I had been lucid quite a bit earlier in the dream, so I reflected to myself that I must've lost lucidity earlier on [The thing is I don't recall the earlier parts of this dream at all and when I woke up I had severe doubts that I actually had been lucid an extra time earlier on - it's just as likely or more likely that it was a false memory, maybe created by the dream].

I instinctively knew at this point that I needed to focus on keeping the dream going. This time I didn't try and do my usual effort of trying to focus on the details or spin around. I just said to myself that I would stay in the dream because I hadn't got a lot of time [as in, I needed to continue it now as there were things to be done and maybe wouldn't be time later, or something a bit like that - as I reflect on it now it wasn't the most logical thought process but it did calm down the initial joy and excitement I had felt, though I was probably still a bit excited at this point] and I began rushing down the stairs more quickly towards the glassy doorway and windows that led out of the front of the building.

The dream then kind of blurred out I think. I think I remained calm [which is a big improvement on my usual self-defeating disappointment and apprehension of thinking "I'm going to wake up"
- it will be great to move past that and not do that in future] but as I tried to observe the dream scenery now there was absolutely nothing there. It was just black and empty. I remembered a suggestion I read on dreamviews and shouted "MORE VIVID" and something else which might've been "MORE LUCIDITY" [technically probably not what I wanted to have given I was waking up, but hey, I was trying]. I can't remember if any more imagery came into my head at all at this point. If it did it would likely have been a consciously induced daydream image in my mind's eye rather than any continuation of the dream. I was awake now. I did try and remain still and try to go back to sleep for a short while but it didn't work.

I was quite happy to just wake up and work on my dream recall of my first LUCID DREAM in about five months or more! It's also the first time I've done the nose-holding RC in a dream and quite possibly the first time I've done a confirmatory REALITY CHECK rather than my more usual detective work to gain initial lucidity.

This is a personal dream that I wouldn’t normally post, but I wanted to share one of these. This is a good example of a therapeutic lucid dream. It shows one of the ways you can benefit from lucid dreaming if you experience grief or other difficult emotions.

Warning: A lot of unpleasantness ahead.

—-

We went to my grandpa’s house since we happened to be there and I decided to real quick grab some more of my stuff like the office chair. We didn’t leave much there, but the office chair was the one big thing I left.

He wasn’t home. I deliberated skipping it, but figured it wouldn’t hurt to just go in and grab the chair so he wouldn’t have to worry about moving it.

I know how much I personally hate unannounced guests and I would never want someone doing this for me, but I keep thinking of how much he’s expressed difference from me in this way. It makes no sense to me, but he never cared about people just walking into his house. He used to refuse to put doors between rooms in his house, removing them any chance he got, and didn’t like locks—he’d never lock his house. He’d leave doors wide upon and get excited about the happy surprise if anyone like a neighbor just happened to walk in out of the blue. All the time he’d invite people to show up and do things for him when he wasn’t home, as if the very thought of (what I would consider) an intrusion delighted him.

So I went in and got the chair. It was already sitting by the door, affirming his intention to get rid of it.

He then pulled up just as we were leaving. He was pissed, but not because it bothered him that I walked into his house. He wasn’t truly bothered at all, but acted as such merely because it violated the boundaries he knew I had. My boundaries, which he found a way to weaponize in this moment. It was shallow anger laced with the “Gotcha” delight that almost overided it to a point where I couldn’t take it seriously.
“So we’re just walking into people’s houses now.” he said with a sneer, but he could barely take his own pseudo rage seriously and I could hear the laughter below out from behind it.
It was strange, though. Something wasn’t right.
He then turned to me and I saw glimpses of the nice grandpa I used to know as he held his arms out and hugged me. He said he was happy to see me, he loved me, and goodbye.
There was anger and spite still in him, directed at me at the same time.
I asked if he wanted some money to cover any potential bills.
I felt bad that I don’t have much now because we just moved, but I’d give him whatever I could.
He answered with two voices clearly speaking in unison. One said yes, that it would help. The other voice cheered with derision. “Ooh money, hehehe!” it chuckled, as if celebrating plundered goods despite me giving it freely. It made it sound like I was being robbed even though that’s not what this was. I owed him far more than I could give, and I wanted to help him more than anything.
I didn’t like how that voice made me feel gross helping him, so I ignored it. I gave him $100, silently promising I’d have more later, and hugged him again. I told him thank you, that I loved him. I knew it was stupid to cry, but did so anyway.
I hurriedly got back in the car after waving goodbye and could hear the deriding voice cheering and mocking me as it celebrated the money.
His other voice didn’t speak, but it was sad and watched us leave as if it wished it could leave, too.
I felt pulled in two different directions whenever I was around him lately, ever since we moved here.
I never used to feel this way.

As we pulled out of the driveway, I saw something sitting there. It was short and black, and it sat in a massive puddle of itself. Now that I looked at the house from outside, I could see it better. There was black grime everywhere. It was all over the property, having spread itself onto everything, a wet spiderweb of black goop. It was all over my grandpa too. His clothes, hair, and skin had little strings of weblike goop all over. It leaked out from inside his mouth and the corners of his eyes.
I thought about how, in waking life, there was always this strange invisible grime that follows him. It has a physical texture and smell, but I couldn’t see it. The only time I ever saw him without it was for a few years when he was practicing Buddhism. At that time, he was happier than I had ever seen him before.
He still keeps all the statues and pictures from his trip to Burma, but I avoid talking to him about Buddhism as it seems to anger him if it’s brought up.
Anyway in this dream I didn’t see it when I was in the house, but I could see the black grime clearly now from the car.

I looked down at myself, checking our car and things. We were clean. It wasn’t on us. I wasnt worried about it getting on us either, as I knew it didn’t want anything to do with us.

It had already tried over the course of the two years we lived there. That’s why it spited us, and wanted us gone.
I looked out the window at my grandpa, who watched us drive away.

“…I got manipulated, didn’t I?” I then turned and asked my partner.

“Yeah.” she said.

I nodded, not knowing why I asked other than to get her opinion, I guess.

For a moment, we couldn’t decide where to go, but ultimately we decided to go home to the new place.

Walking in the backyard of my old house. I come across a garden, which I apparently planted. It has been covered to protect it from frost. I look at the garden, and it reminds me of a dream sign. I do a nose pinch RC, and find that I can still breathe. I think I do another one to be sure, and then realize that I'm dreaming. I decide to go look for Synthos, I think. I try to fly, and might even succeed in getting off the ground, but then I seem to lose the dream.

Bedtime by about 10:45. 3mg melatonin, and 4 capsules of valerian - the suggested dose on the bottle is 5 capsules. This is besides the usual prescribed 60mg of fluoxetine I take each night. Had 4 cups of tea during the day and a cup of hot chocolate in the evening.

Woke up a little after 4:00. I need to work in the morning, so the following notes are brief for the non-lucid parts. I seem to recall having three lucids, but the one just seems to be fragments. As for the fragments at the end, I don’t remember exactly where they belonged in all of this.

7:50 am – trying to add to my notes, but we’ll see how the recall goes this morning.

Steampunk Book, leading to lucidity

With a girl, talking about a book. I’m interested in her, although for some reason I express this by showing my interest in the book. I even caress it. The book has steampunk themes, and it is open to a page with some machine-like diagrams. In the book, a man has gone to some place to do something. Somehow the location of the book becomes a lakeside community that I am familiar with in waking life.

People have been tinkering with cars, in a way related to the character in the book and the Steampunk-ish thing that was taking place. It’s difficult for people to control their vehicles now. Mine seems to be fine though. I start driving up a street, although I seem to find myself walking now. This is starting to seem like a dream, so I do a nose pinch RC and find that it is! I start trying to find the Dream Base, I think (I have also been focusing on looking for a persistent realm I have been trying to build, and it might have been that I was looking for). I try to imagine the place behind me, I think, and turn around. I don’t see it though. Then I think I might fly and look for it that way – the way I got to Synthos – and look for a good place to take off (I seem to be lacking confidence in just taking off from where I am). I think about flying out over the lake...

I think I found it!

A dream episode involving an aquatic creature that turned into a beautiful woman and is trying to entice me to join her...I do some kind of dance and sing while on a narrow ledge... Dreaming about “Waking up”, I think? Something odd here, like I had been dreaming that I was writing in a dream journal but it was a dream, but the journal entry was still there. Not even sure if this part was in the same dream or was in another dream.

...Walking back into the building, I see a few displays that are reminiscent of the dream that I had been having about the aquatic creature. I do a nose pinch RC, and find that I’m dreaming! I try to go looking for the dream base, by imagining it behind me (a portal?), but when I turn around I don’t notice anything different. There is a room full of people. I call out for the Dream Base library, and as I do I see words printed in the dream world that say the words that I’m calling for. One I remember specifically is the word “library”. Where is the Dream Base? Then I remember reading about asking a DC for help. I see a girl sitting at a table near me and ask her where the Dream Base is.

“It’s over there behind Tony,” she says, possibly pointing in the direction she means.

That’s nice to know, but who’s Tony? I start calling out “Tony!” and see a man that looks vaguely Hispanic/Latino sitting at another table. That’s probably Tony. I go look behind him, and see a door leading outside. By this time, I have the idea that what I’m looking for is called a “resort”, and I see a couple of people out the window in bathing suits. I go outside to find myself in a seaside area. I think I correct myself on the “resort” thing and call out for the Dream Base (or Dream Base library). Much of this time I think I’ve been somewhat frantically calling out for the Dream Base, or the Dream Base library. I decide it would be easier to focus on just saying “Dream Base”.

I’m in a small open area, a stone street surrounded by buildings. Looking up, I see a helicopter hovering nearby, as though it’s watching me. I start to look around for the Beacon Tower. I see a large round building. Looking upwards, it appears to be a short tower, ending in a squarish pillar at the top. Then I remember the light that’s supposed to be coming from the column, and a moment later I notice a streak of white across the sky above the tower I was looking at. Upon closer inspection, it seems to be a jet trail, but I’m skeptical that it wasn’t the Beacon light considering how my dreams seem to lag a bit in responding to my suggestions. [“Jet lag”? Could be a dream play on words thing]

Lucid Fragments

...Finding that I’m dreaming, I briefly stabilize the dream by feeling the brickwork beneath my feet (I’m standing on something like a road or a sidewalk). Remembering previous dreams and my hypothesis that I’ve been spending too much time on stabilizing and not enough on engaging with the dream, I move on. I rush towards some trees...
...Another lucid confirmed by a nose pinch RC...

...Looking for the Dream Base beacon tower, I look out a window. I think I see a tall sign, of the gas station sort....

...Looking for the Dream Base, I see some trees...

Pretzel Experiment (Lucid)

I "wake up" on the couch where I was sleeping. The neighbors are being a little noisy - at least I think I can hear them talking and/or playing music on a piano. This makes me kind of unreasonably annoyed, and I think that I will turn off the fan by my bed to be sure. If they really are making noise, I'm thinking of playing the trumpet for revenge. I go to turn off the fan, and then realize that I should do a reality check. I do a nose pinch, and find that I can still breathe. I seem to be getting more used to lucidity, because I don't doubt that I'm dreaming as much as I have before. I'm pretty convinced after that test, and I stabilize a bit by feeling the couch and then get up. I walk over to a box on my desk where I have a bag of mini pretzel sticks (I put them there for this reason). My plan is to see if I can keep myself anchored and stabilized by snacking on or just holding a pretzel stick in my mouth as I go. Somehow the process of getting out a pretzel stick is more complicated than I expected, and it obstructs my vision a little bit. This causes the dream to destabilize a bit, but I put a pretzel in my mouth and it seems to help, at least maybe a little bit. I now make my way to the door. I open the door to go outside, thinking as I do that I should have tried to expect the Dream Base to be there when I open it. When I do open the door, I think I remember seeing a bush outside or something. But the dream seems to fade after this.

Looks like I'm starting to get some of my old frequency back. I often stop practicing somewhere at this point, either getting bored or lazy or burnt out, or something. My goal this time is to keep practicing past the point where I'm starting to have decent success, and see how far I can go.

Stabilize (Lucid)

Lying in bed, I do a nose pinch and can still breathe. I decide that I’m dreaming but it feels as though I’m not quite asleep. I want to get up, but I don’t want to wake myself up in the process. I think about the “opening your dream eyes” technique, and I think I try to apply it. Anyway, I slowly try moving, and it seems like I’m still dreaming. I slowly move my arm to pull myself up out of bed. My arm feels odd and kind of tingly, as though I were sleeping on it funny. I figure that I can work with that, though. I make my way out of bed, and stand up. Things seem real-ish. It is kind of dimly light in the room, like early morning. I push my hair out of my eyes. Then I sit down on the floor and concentrate on stabilizing the dream as I had planned to do before. I repeat “stabilize” over and over a few times. Eventually, however, the dream fades out slowly. I can see a little bit of something still, but think at this point that I’m waking up and what I see is from my eyes opening just a little bit. I open my eyes all the way, but that wakes me up.

Tried to turn on the light above my bed, but it wouldn’t turn on. Neither would the lamp on the stand next to my bed (which isn’t there any longer in waking life). This is a dreamsign, so I did a nose pinch RC, I think. Then I became lucid. I remembered to stabilize, as I had planned. I felt the back of the couch that I was laying on. The dream might have faded at this point, but I think I held on to awareness and things came back. I tried the light above my bed again, but it wouldn’t turn on. I might have lost lucidity but regained it at this point. I think I felt the couch again to stabilize, but I also licked the chest by the couch that acts as another night stand. I realize that sounds weird, but licking things seems to help stabilize dreams for me. I got up off of the couch. It was dark in my room, and the lamp wouldn’t turn on. I directed the dream to give me more light, using verbal commands. I was holding the lamp as I did this, and at first I got a flash of light from the lamp. I might have continued my demands a time or two, but at any rate the room lightened up.

I decided to go outside, and wondered if I should phase through a wall. I decided to try for the door, a little worried that I might lose the dream before I got there. I made it though, and opened it after saying something about the Dream Base being on the other side (hoping it would be there when I opened the door). However, when I opened the door I didn’t see the Dream Base, as far as I could tell. It wasn’t exactly my usual surroundings though – more trees, and more parklike than the urban area I live in. I then said something like “Dream Base on the right”, and turned to look. There was a large building there, looking kind of like it was made of light colored brick. It might have just been part of the college campus or the parking garage that is there in waking life though.

I then tried to fly, possibly to search for the Dream Base or to help stabilize the dream. I picked up some gravel so that I could feel it and help to anchor/stabilize the dream. I tried flying, but was having some difficulty getting off the ground. Jumping didn’t seem to help...I think I lost the dream somewhere around here.