All DJ Entries

Key: Non-Lucid, Lucid, Commentary/Notes, Hypnagogic Hallucinations

The Castle

I was in a large castle. I was a child, no more than about 13. It was night and there had been a murder.

An old man was there with a short white beard and scruffy clothing. He was distraught. The murder victim was his wife. She was a tall plump woman with grey hair and a grey dress.

I was aware that I lived in the castle with these two people. The woman was looking after me. There were other children of various ages around too. Perhaps it was an orphanage?

The man said how his wife had always looked after him and he didn't know what he was going to do now she was dead. There was another woman in the castle who now appeared. She looked similar to the dead woman, but somehow more mean.

Everyone went outside and was looking around in the dark for something -- probably the murderer.

The Prince-ess

I was in a small dressing room in a tower in some kind of palace or castle. I was a female. I looked kind of like Disney's Snow White, but was realistic in appearance and not like a cartoon. I was bummed out because I was just a servant but totally in to the prince.

There was some kind of ball or party going on outside in the large central courtyard. There was a window in the room I was in and I could see all the people. The prince was going to choose one of the female guests to be his wife.

Suddenly there was someone in my room. They were encouraging me to get dressed up and go and win the prince's affections. Alright! It was on!

I somehow became aware that there were guards in the castle/palace trying to find me and kill me. I didn't know why. All I knew is that we would have to work fast!

There was another person in the room now and both the strangers were helping me put on a rather complicated medieval gown. The gown looked kind of like Disney's Snow White again. At least, it was the same red, white, and yellow colour scheme.

All that remained was to go down and woo the prince! But how to get there in time and by avoiding the guards? There was a massive rope that seemed to just hang from the sky -- even though I was indoors. Perhaps I could swing across the courtyard and make a dramatic entrance? Damn right I could!

I exited a door to my left and descended the spiral staircase beyond. I found myself exiting another door on to a roof. Guards were closing in. I could see my target and was about to make my amazingly acrobatic swing...

Wait! Someone stopped me and pointed out that I had a beard! Huh? I looked in to a mirror and she was right! I was no longer a Snow White-esque woman but myself! My usual male self.

But what to do? I decided I better run back up to the room I had just left and shave first...

Note to self: Did I just have a cross-dressing dream?

The Treasure Chest

I was back at Uni. Or rather I was in a room somewhere and the only other people there were people I met back at Uni. For some reason we were planning to build treasure chests! I have no idea why. I intended to construct a giant clam and was planning it out in my mind.

My friend G was there with this guy I didn't know very well or like very much, J. J asked G if he would work with him to help build his treasure chest. He agreed, but said that he wanted me to help too. J reluctantly agreed.

J came over to talk to me. He wanted to know if I even knew who he was. I told him that of course I knew who he was, how could I not? I was alluding to the fact that he's super annoying and hard to ignore. I couldn't help but think about how much I dislike him and just ignored whatever else he said.

Note: The rest of the night was filled with fragmented dreams, and they are all listed out here:

*Tower Defense*
I was on top of a tower. There were four of us there, and one of the other three was Tigress. I didn't recognize the other two people, but they were men. The tower was circular and quite tall. I could see far out over the surrounding area, which included a cleared meadow area and then a thick forest. The meadow was too circular to have been natural, so I figured it had been cleared to provide a defendable area. The four of us were covering all four directions from the tower. Tigress was on my right. We all had bows and arrows. Enemies were storming the tower. We were picking them off with our arrows. The enemies were firing arrows back, but it was proving harder for them to get their arrows up to the top of our tower than it was to shoot arrows down from the tower at them. I was surprised at my own accuracy. I glanced to my right and saw Tigress was also picking off enemies with deadly accuracy. The fight continued for a while, and was actually rather boring. The enemies seemed to be slowing down, and it was shortly after picking off the last enemy and seeing there were no more enemies coming that I woke.

*What Goes Around Comes Around*
I was in a subway tunnel. I was walking along the walkway at the side of the tunnel. The path was there for maintenance purposes. I saw there was a subway intersection ahead where two tracks merged into the one. There was a young man on the path with me. He was using a hot glue gun to form words on the wall of the subway tunnel. The words were not very visible, but they would be raised off of the wall slightly. He was doing that when another young man came over and got all kinds of pissed off at him for that. The second man grabbed the glue gun from the one who had been using it on the wall. The second man shoved the hot glue gun in the first man's mouth and pulled the trigger, filling the first man's mouth with hot glue. The first man's cries of pain were muffled. The second man kept adding hot glue until it covered both the first man's mouth and nose, then he dropped the first man onto the ground and watched him suffocate. The killer laughed and kicked the victim a few times as the victim suffocated. The killer headed down the path towards the intersection. He stepped out to cross to the other side of the intersection. Right as he was in the intersection, two speeding subway cars, single subway cars, collided there in the intersection and crushed the killer between them… The car operators somehow got out of there uninjured, there was no one else on board either car… only the killer had been killed. Well that was karma for you…

*Metallica's New Member*
I was at a Metallica concert. I had a ticket to get in. I went inside the arena. It wasn't a very large arena, and I felt I was very fortunate to have gotten a ticket. I went to find my seat, but my seat sucked. I thought maybe I could find another seat that hadn't been filled. Maybe someone had been unable to attend. I walked through the seats and saw most of them were filled. The concert was about to start. I saw an empty seat. I sat down, it was only five rows from the stage. The concert started, and it was loud. I watched as the band members came out on stage. Lars Ulrich was on drums, James Hetfield was on guitar and singing, Kirk Hammett was on guitar, and then the fourth member came out… and it was MoSh! I did a double take! Wow! MoSh had joined a band! And not just any band, he was now the fourth member of Metallica! I thought that was awesome, I would have to congratulate him after the show. And this meant I know one of the members of Metallica! I could meet the rest of the band, too! I was so excited while I watched the concert. MoSh was rocking! He did a solo part way through the concert… my only thought was wow! The concert ended, and I was headed to the entrance to back stage to see about talking to MoSh, I told the bouncer to just tell MoSh that Raven was there to see him. The bouncer didn't believe me, but I saw MoSh back there and he waved at me, telling the bouncer to let me through.

*Winter in June?*
I was in my normal house. I left the house to go get the mail. The ground outside was covered with snow! In spite of the fact I live in a desert and this is the middle of summer, I didn't think to do a RC in response to the snow. I threw a couple of snowballs at a large cactus. I threw a few at the house. I hit my mother with one of them. She was not pleased. She told me to stop messing around and go get the mail. For some reason our mailbox was so far away I would have to drive to get there. I left the house in my car. It really was a long ways to the mailbox. I drove down a couple long streets and made several turns before I realized I was hopelessly lost. I figured things must look too different being covered with snow… and so I wasn't recognizing the place. I didn't want to admit to anyone that I had gotten lost when looking for my own mailbox… so I kept looking for it, and I figured to explain why it took so long I would just tell everyone I had gotten stuck in the snow.

I am beginning to think that perhaps murder shows are not the best thing to be watching late at night, however the last two nights have gotten better with recall. I also did something I shouldn't have. I took my meds then stayed up for a little while afterwards... maybe that is the key?

I was waist deep in water. I was wading around, looking for evidence. There had been a murder. My Nina was there. I was also with Janet, from Stargate SG:1. We are the investigators of this murder. I am talking with this man. He is somehow linked to the murderer and I can't figure out how. It also has something to do with Safeway. I leave the girl, whom I did not speak with, and the man to go talk with Janet. It is like she is helping flood victims. I am confused by this. She is looking for diseases also. I tell her about the man and the girl. She walks back with me and we find the girl has been killed. The man is still there. I suspect that he is the KILLER. Janet asks the man for his papers. He can't produce them. She calls him a lazy bum. I think about myself, I have no job, and am living off my parents. I would think that this would cause me to gain lucidity, but somehow it didn't.

A woman takes the body underwater with a fire extinguisher. Apparently this is a CPR technique. I tell Janet and Nina that I swear the girl was alive when I left her. I can feel Janet touch my shoulder. It's like she is saying she doesn't blame me. The guy gets handcuffed. I turn around and Janet is looking at the body. She is far away. She smiles at me. I know that she has mastered a mind touch. I hear someone saying something... Its mom saying they are home.

Original date 03/19/2006:

Took a nap, huge mistake

Had one of my nightmares and woke up feeling very unwell. I hate how they make me feel physically ill. I feel like I'm going to vomit. There wasn't anything particularly disgusting (to see) in it, but the nerves alone make me feel so queasy. This one came out of the blue and was very weird.

I had a nightmare that left me feeling ill, very ill... physically so, not to mention being coupled with the panic of half the lights in the house not working.

I dreamed that I lived alone in an apartment, on the first or second floor. There was a floor below me. Nobody ever saw the people who lived there (that I knew of). Everything was almost always dark in my dream - even lights were dim.
I dreamt that I temporarily sort of... descended from my own apartment into the apartment below. It was very dark, and there were very deep shadows when you could see anything at all, and there was a sort of shrine there, and there were two childlike entities, and they were whispering to each other, and there was a third entity, much smaller, like a baby.

I know I need to write this down but it makes my skin crawl just writing it down.

In any case, I felt that something was very wrong about this, and I ascended again. I don't know how or why I did this, except that I feel that in my dream it was nonphysical.
In my dream everyone heard odd noises that came from the apartment below mine all of the time. They bothered us immensely, but nobody ever spoke of them.
There were policemen who frequented the area, very fat jolly men, but they would not go near the place, or talk about it.

I dreamt that something happened with the family across the way, possibly (or possibly not) dealing with the apartment below. There was some sort of... incident... a loud and unmistakeable sound of some sort of scuffle, and of a baby (?) being killed... but everybody in the complex was too terrified to say anything, and then there was the other (possibly connected) incident that night with the family across the hall...

The family in the apartment across from me was a 'normal'ish family, with a husband and a wife and a son who was around 10 or 11 years old. I went over to check things out after one of the policement visited my apartment to check to see that I was ok. When I visited the family, I noticed that they had been interrupted while eating dinner, and that the little boy's bowl was unclean.
For some reason, I knew that it was a... aggressive? Challenging? move... but I offered to clean the little boy's bowl for them... they seemed reluctant, but allowed me to do so, and I took it to the sink in my own kitchen and cleaned it.
The policeman followed and chatted to me a bit, and then we went back to the other apartment, so that I could return the cleansed bowl to the family. When I did, I told the policeman that I wanted to say something about the odd sounds that I heard from the apartment below me.

The two policemen there (there was another, fatter one who had hung around with the family this whole time) looked very terrified. The family looked very frightened also, and the mother told me, "Don't mention such things". The other policeman told me, in hushed tones, "Those things are cower-worthy", to which I held up my hands in appeasement and said, "I'm cowering, but something needed to be said."

Then the dream ended, and I woke up feeling very ill, scared, and paranoid.

FURTHER EDIT:
Incidentally, on the earlier dream...

There was some sort of knife involved in the sacrifice/slaying. I don't know how I understood this in the dream, but I did.

This dream takes place in a fair sized mansion. The occupants of the mansion are a brown haired husband and his rich blond haired wife. The have a dark haired Latino maid who lives with them and cleans the house while they are at work. The wife is a snob and treats her husband and maid with contempt. The husband is not rich and works in a humble car mechanics shop, to his rich wife's dismay. The entire dream takes place from the third person perspective.


One morning the maid on the second floor of the mansion doing some chores when she hears "I want him dead!" come from the wife's room. Curious, the maid leans her ear against the door and eavsdrops. Some of the words are muffled but the maid is sure that she hears the wife complaining about her "dead beat husband" and how the quickest way "to get rid of him" would be. The phone conversation ends and the maid panics and rushes back to her cleaning duties but she is nervous over what she heard and her hands shake. The wife exits her room and stops suddenly, to glare at the nervous maid for a moments before hastily making an exit from the mansion.

The maid goes to the man's work place, a back alley car mechanic shop, and tries to tell him what she overhead and believes that his wife is going to try and kill him. The man disregards what the maid is trying to tell him, saying that while he and his wife do have their differences, he does not believe that she would try to kill him. The maid protests but the man tells her to go back to the mansion and not to worry about it.

The maid is ruminating about the situation while she cleans the mansion when suddenly the wife shows up in the middle of the day with several plastic bags in hand. The maid asks the wife why she is not at work and the wife curtly responds with "I went shopping." The wife and the maid do not look at each other directly and the maid pretends to not notice what the wife is doing, even as the wife empties the shopping bags and throws them down on the kitchen table. She puts away a few groceries and then carries a large white box up to her room. The wife returns empty handed, gets quickly gets back into her car and leaves.

The maid picks up the seemingly empty shopping bags to put them away when a small crumpled piece of paper falls out of one. When it is uncrumpled, it turns out to be a hand written receipt for twelve hand guns. The wife's signature is below the amount paid for the weapons. There is a crudely drawn sketch of one of the guns in the middle of the document. The monetary amount and names are written in a red ink, while the sketch of the gun is in black ink.

The maid leaves the mansion and goes back to the man's work place, shows him the gun reciept and asks in a demanding voice "So what do you make of this??" The man just shrugs and says nothing, though the expression on his face seems to be a mix of concern and worry.

It starts off behind a three story house with faded yellow bricks. I do not know if the house was in a town or in the country but the backyard was fairly large and had trees all around the perimeter, though there were no trees or shrubs on the actual yard. It was autumn and the entire backyard was covered in leaves of various orange hues.


At the beginning I stepped out of the backdoor of the house (I do no recall anything about the inside) and I saw two middle-aged women frantically stuffing leaves into black garbage bags. There were three black garbage bags lined up on the edge of the small wooden porch (just to my right) and almost at the same time I saw them, the women saw me and froze in place and stared at me with shocked looks on their faces. One of the women (with dirty blond hair) kind of speed walked over to me and asked what I wanted in a nervous manner while the other woman (with dark brown hair) continued with the frantic leaf stuffing. I gestured to the house and said I was here to stay a few nights. Apparently the place was a bed and breakfast inn or something. The blond woman seemed disoriented for a moment than apologized and showed me to a room.

I returned to the backyard as the sun was setting and found the women were still frantically putting leaves into garbage bags, but were also burning some in a firepit in the middle of the large yard. I went over to them and asked why did they not just burn all the leaves and though the brunette responded, I cannot recall exactly what she said. Something about it taking to long or something? It was then that I noticed there was something burning at the bottom of the pit that was not wood or leaves but I did not say anything. In the morning I went into the backyard and the women and garbage bags were gone. I went over to the firepit and tried to see what was at the bottom now that the fire was out. I could see the charred remains of what looked like a human torso and head. I was not scared, just a bit disgusted and I went back into the house.

When the two women returned, I asked them about the body in the firepit and the blond woman broke down and started crying while the brunette woman paced nervously around the room. They admitted to murdering a man who had checked in a few days before but they swore it was in self defense. The brunette woman said they burned the head and torso in the fire and dumped the arms and legs in various leaf filled garbage bags around the area. The two women seemed scared and genuinely felt guilty so I told them to gather the clothes they were wearing during the murder and to gather some bleach. We dunked the clothes in the bleach then burned them when they dried. I asked the women to find a bucket and when they returned we shovelled the ashes from the fire pit into the bucket. Then we dumped the ashes from a moving vehicle along a desolate road somewhere in a deep forest.

When we returned to the bed and breakfast inn, there was a police crusier in the driveway and the two women began to panic. I told them to calm down because the police do not know anything and are probably just going to question them about any previous guests they have had. We went inside and were questioned by the police officer about the missing man, but he seemed convinced that we did not know anything so he left. After he was gone, the women asked me to follow them out to the firepit. I cannot remember exactly what they did now but somehow the fire pit turned into a large well with a ladder leading down. The women said I could escape through here and I said goodbye and climbed down into the darkness.

It did not take very long for the ladder to lead out into an bright open area. At first I thought it led outside but then I realised it was some sort of dungeon that was just very well lit. The only way I can describe it is as a battle area in a first person shooter videogame like Quake or Halo or something. Anyway, it was very maze like and everything was made of sienna coloured bricks. Half of the area was underwater. When I first came out of the well hole there were three small flying black ship things that opened fire at me. I ducked under something and waiting for the ship things to pass. They dissapeared through a hole in a wall high above me. I came out of my hiding spot and looked down and saw some passageways under the water. I dived into the water and tried to reach the them but I was pushed to the other side of the dungeon by a strong current. I pulled myself up onto a ledge and saw some other people attempting to reach the underwater tunnels as well, but they seemed to be having the same problems as I.


The dream gets fuzzy here. There was something to do with a competetion between the other swimmers and I and something about those dark ships coming back but I cannot really remember the rest. I do not recall if I, or anyone else, ever made it out of there.

I just woke up from this dream/nightmare.

I looked like a Chinese woman, I could speak a multitude of oriental languages and I was in this underground city type place. There were these squads of soldiers who were gathering people, at what seemed to be random at first, and killing them in cold blood. I did not get a look at any of the soldier's faces because I was to busy trying to run from them, so I had no idea who they were. There were panicked and frightened people everywhere, running for their lives and trying to find a place to hide.

I ran into what looked like a small warehouse and hid under some steel steps and behind some wooden crates. There were a small group of people of mixed ethnicities hiding in various parts of the room. We could hear screaming and gunshots from outside and we were all frozen in terror. Some time passed and the noise outside seemed to quiet down a little, but soon a large group of the soldiers burst into the warehouse and dragged everyone out of hiding. I saw then that the soliders were all oriental looking and spoke in Japanese. They seperated everyone who looked oriental and instantly shot everyone else who was not.

The soldiers then interrogated the remaining civilians to find out their background. When I was asked I was too scared to answer and so remained silent, even when some of the soldiers tried to beat an answer out of me. I finally shouted at them to go to hell in Japanese and they pushed me into one corner of the room while they continued to drill the remaining civilians. Eventually the soldiers pushed a woman who had Japanese citizenship in my direction, lined everyone one else against the wall and shot them. The soldiers then left.

The Japanese woman and I sat in a daze until it grew silent outside. We wandered outside together and found that the soldiers had killed everyone they met except for people who were Japanese. I was overcome with grief and guilt because I seemed to have survived the massacre (even though I was a Chinese person) because I just happened to speak the "correct" language. I wander around in a daze for a while, past the destruction and heaping pile of bodies and the dream ends about there.

Sept. 5, 2003:
I dreamed that there was this blonde disabled woman, who somehow despite her disabilities and her family (her mom and sister were both real bitches) had overcome all of these hurdles, risen to the top of her class... her one dream was to go to Belgium, and she got the chance, but then her sister screwed it up for her...

Then for some reason, both of her family members were witches and made people hallucinate and act crazy. And they killed a lot of people. The end.

Morning of November 4, 1985. Monday.



This is a somewhat distorted dream in terms of activity and themes. The main aspect of this one more vivid section is seemingly running from an area where there may have been a shooting of a president or mayor, though I am not sure if the person was killed. It first seems like I am in Wisconsin and then suddenly in Florida, running from the southwest to the northeast through my Cubitis backyard. It almost seems as if I had been involved somehow though I am not sure of my dream’s backstory.

At one point, where we used to have bonfires (a little more towards the southern section of the weedy area prior to the railroad tracks), there is some sort of implied epiphany of a “whale man”. The “whale man” is actually better described as a typical merman, I suppose, except that the bottom half is like a killer whale or orca, and the top half is a man. The theme is seemingly relative to the phoenix (only very loosely). Perhaps the politician was shot and returned as this being, or he was always like this (and thus I cannot be guilty of any possible crime), I am not sure. It also seems as if I am looking at a political poster for a short time. The part that is manlike reminds me of a young version of Walter Mondale. He seems suspended above the water with the whale tale in a slight arc. I think he actually may be running for president and as a Republican. He seems friendly and cheerful. I am not certain of his political values or standing. (In real life, I hardly ever thought about politics.)

There is probably a rhyming association with “whale” and “Mondale”. It is also possible that the whale represents a new political party relating to better ecological policies.

This dream is type ECA (subtype acc: parallel accompaniment). Here, the emergent consciousness is already coalesced into the last segment as the hybridized “whale man” (or merman implied to be aggressive on the bottom since the tail is of a killer whale or orca, but cheerful on the top; an atypical ambiguity). However, the phoenix essence is also very clearly implied as the reintegration of full consciousness, especially as the merman rises from the area in my Cubitis backyard where we had bonfires. The ambiguity of the hybridization was caused by dream events involving, firstly, the death of a politician (bottom layer - aggression) by the transition (top layer) of the phoenix concept - or politician’s “resurrection” (conscious self emergence as a cheerful epiphany)