dream fragment

Morning of October 15, 2012. Monday.



In my dream, I am lying in our bed and I am concerned about the garbage truck being too close to our house as well as being perpendicular to the street itself. At one point, it seems backed up almost to our bedroom window. The scenario repeats several times in a row. I look out and see that the robotic arm is much longer than in reality and somehow towers very high into the air (emergent consciousness rendering). It appears to be holding a larger commercial bin (which looks a lot smaller due to its supposed distance from my perspective). It is almost dizzying to consider such a high position. Nothing threatening happens (such as our house or window being damaged or the larger pieces of rubbish falling out near our house, as it almost seems might happen) but I continue to have a vague concern without being directly angry.

---

Anyone who understands the basic meanings of dreams (excluding personal associations with unique details and features which only the dreamer could possibly understand) will easily pick out the waking transition here. “Something coming down” (representing the waking process) in this case is the robotic arm of the garbage truck (robotic as a dream sign that renders the “artificial” perspective of the dream state) as well as implied falling debris. As most people would know, garbage or junk in a dream represents “unwanted data”, that is, ideas or thoughts that have proven to be without real long-term use (including other people’s negative ideas).

Even though this is a very basic waking transition, it is quite different than other types, say one that utilize an airplane landing, a meteor falling, or a bird landing, all with the same primary meaning but with different implications. This dream was likely a “repeat” (in metaphor) of reading more than my share of garbage on this date. The garbage truck itself represents the linear “cleanup” of recent thinking processes. Something being “too close” to one’s house relates to the liminal energies regarding circadian rhythms and full waking. Of course, being in bed in the dream state is the most obvious dream sign of all and the most obvious metaphor for sleeping and dreaming (yet I do not become lucid).

I have a friend whose dad shut off the Internet at her house, so she only has Internet access when she's at her mom's house. She went back to her dad's house yesterday. Anyway, I had a dream last night that I was on tumblr and saw a post she made saying that her dad turned the Internet back on again. I woke up disappointed because it was only a dream (we mainly only see each other online because we live a couple hours apart).

I went back to sleep and had a dream that I had to look after a few pets for my friend Giana (even though they aren't her pets IWL). I had to look after five various rodents (a hamster, two very tiny chinchillas, and two jerboas. They were kept in a big cage, which I was keeping in my room. The problem was that they kept escaping from the cage; they managed to squeeze through the bars and out of the cage pretty easily. The chinchillas (which were roughly the same size as the hamster and jerboas, as opposed to actual chinchilla size) especially liked to escape. One of them even tried to bite my thumb when I carried it back to its cage (again); it was kind of uncomfortable, but it didn't hurt.

In another dream, I had to select a "teacher". I chose Kayleigh, my tulpa. She started throwing dodgeballs at me, and I didn't know why, so she told me she was doing it because I had to learn that nothing could hurt me because I was dreaming and that I shouldn't be afraid in dreams. I guess I was supposed to take that advice and make myself believe that, though I still didn't really get what was going on. The dream felt rather vague when I woke up, too.

I know she was only trying to help me improve my dream control, but I don't think I really learned anything from that "lesson". It does seem like something she would do, though...

Dream - Lucid

I was in what seemed to be high school choir again, on what seemed to be an island, though there were many other islands around too. It was covered in short, bright green grass, and some grey rocks. It was daytime, and the sky was clear and blue.

We were rehearsing for the variety show on this island. My choir teacher was showing us the choreography she wanted us to learn for the show; we were all grouped up, and she was in front of us. She did some jumps and dance moves, but she went over it all very quickly.

We then were left to practice on our own. We all gathered in a circle around the edges of the island, and we started to do the routine. There was then a full-sized T-Rex in the middle of the island, but it was one of the students; his part in the show was being a T-Rex. It scared me at first, but we all ran around his feet and repositioned; it was all just part of the show. He then turned into Godzilla, and was much more threatening that way. Again, it was part of the show. I feel like we ran through this sequence a few times. I found myself trying to go over the choreography in my head, remembering one move after the other.

I then figured out I was playing the part of a saber-toothed tiger, though, unlike T-Rex boy, I didn't transform, but I was merely acting like a cat, or, I guess how I would imagine a saber-toothed tiger would act. I was also supposed to be the T-Rex's girlfriend as the saber-toothed tiger. Alright then, I could do that. I got down on my hands and knees, and walked around. I went over to some edge away from everyone else, sat down, and meowed. I was trying to play the part well. I thought about myself acting, making facial expressions to match the mood of the show.

We then went back to the beginning of the show to rehearse some more. I now wasn't quite sure where I was supposed to be. The T-Rex guy said I needed to stick by him, but I got in the circle around the edges of the island again anyway. I had a feeling I had taken someone's space, though I didn't think we had assigned spaces yet. Oh whatever. I wondered if there were any solos in the piece of music we were doing.

I then remember being atop a ledge on the island, overlooking the circular part, with T-Rex guy. We walked around a bit, I remember us being in a small cave for a little while. He was telling me he liked being Godzilla better than the T-Rex. He started to remind me of my IWL pen pal, Gabriel.

I was then running back onto the circular part of the island with everyone else. I remember running over some light grey rock, and thinking about how exciting it was to be back in choir and performing.

[Sunday, October 14th, 2012]
<later in the day, I take a nap>
<dream is foggy, I forget to write this down and it vanishes>

I remember summoning a 18-wheeler to come pick me up and bring me somewhere. We were on V.M. road and heading north, and as we passed the train tracks and took the bend to the left- we came to an obstacle. There was a giant wall in the road. I turned around and did something to a giant rock behind me. A triangle with an eye appeared and the triangle began to spin around the eye. It glowed a thick white light and shot out a beam of light towards the wall. The wall glowed with white veins and the wall opened.

(Everything resembled futuristic, alien technology- and it was pretty neat to watch.)

[Thursday, October 11th, 2012]

<The night before this, Alex had told me how she felt about me... she popped the question, "Why are we together?" a few times and after she left, it felt like the end of the world. She was definitely going to leave me... I was angry and sad at the same time. Why is she so unfair with me? Demanding things of me, but when I ask for the same, she tells me I will never understand. She must love to drill me further into the ground. Even now as I type this, I can't help feeling a helpless feeling... a bitter disgust for the Alex that night, that lectured me like a child and let me know I was a horrible boyfriend. My heart sank 3 times smaller that night. I sat in my bed and sobbed for hours and screamed into my pillow, trying to stop my heart from hurting. I thought about hurting myself physically, I thought about leaving her before she could leave me. I even left a few scars on my mind. I finally calmed down after talking to her on the phone... she made me laugh... while I was going to get cigarettes, but I still felt miserable as I lied down to go to bed.>

(Before I fell asleep, being as horrible anxious and depressed and emotional as I was... I told my subconscious to just give me whatever dream it thought I needed to see. "Go ahead. Throw anything I need to see at me. But make me lucid. I need to be lucid!" I fall asleep.)

(Hours later, I have my first dream that I remember...)

I walk out of a motel room with Alex beside me and we look around. Some kind of festival was occuring all around us. People are walking around in all directions, mostly heading for a particular carnival ground. Some are in costume, some are stark naked. We walk around for a bit and decide to head back to where we came from, to change our appearence. I decide I wanted to either be stark naked too, or cross-dress. Back at the motel room, I skim through my options in clothes, and notice I suddenly have a lot of female clothes in my closet as well as male ones. Alex isn't with me anymore though. So I walk back outside and wander around some more- still with the urge to rip off all of my clothes.

Glancing around at people more, I notice that I know quite a lot of people here- no family members, but people from my town that I know are very common here. Suddenly, I see some people walking towards Bashas'. Apparently, Bashas' is allowing our festival to take as much food as we want to bring back for a feast. I follow the small crowd to Bashas'. Outside, I wait for an employee to unlock the doors... and we head in with shopping carts. We start tossing in random items, from meats to snacks to candy to cheeses to drinks. The second cart starts filling up with purely meat, and I warn them not to overdo it on meat.

<dream skips>

We're back at the festival. I grab a flyer from the ground and it shows my whole family is performing. Tim Z****, Bob Z****, and a few other Z****'s that I've never heard of. I realize that I can't cross-dress or go stark naked because they're here and I don't want them to think bad of me. I see Zack and Alex together and I walk up to them. Zack and me are friendly like we used to be.

<HOLE IN MEMORY> My Dad was involved with this memory, as were Alex and Zack. We were gathering something off the dirt street, there were lots of them... we were in the old west and my Dad was standing next to an old wagon. <memory skips>

We're now in the middle of a cardboard-like city. The buildings are close together and flat and textureless like a cheap old video game using 3D models of a wall and a cheap texture stretched across the surface. It's like a type of maze here with buildings painted on the walls. The structures do however tower into the sky like normal. I'm still with Alex and Zack. We're doing something <HOLE IN MEMORY> when me and Alex seperate from Zack. The grey sky becomes covered in clouds the color of charcoal. They become the darkest black imaginable. Me and Alex look at each other and instantly begin to run down the street, searching for shelter. I see Zack behind us walking some other direction, almost as if he's unaware. He turns a corner and I lose sight of him. I keep running the other way.

We arrive inside of a dark building to wait out the storm. Rain begins to POUR and we wait there for hours. When it finally stops, we go outside, and color is returning to the sky. The sun peaks out from behind the clouds, but the world is still a dull grey tone.

We walk back to where our motel was and I find where my car is parked. We hop in and begin to drive. She wants to find Zack... she's worried sick about him. I'm depressed- We drive for a bit more and <HOLE IN MEMORY> I park in the Circle K with pumps, and do a horrible job. I try to re-align my park job a few times before I give up and decide its okay how I parked. Alex walks up to me and starts yelling at me about some unknown thing and asks me why I left her somewhere. I tried to explain I didn't leave her anywhere... but it's no use. We both hop in the car however and drive off towards the direction of McDonalds. "Please, we have to find Zack. I'm worried about him." I keep driving.

Suddenly, we're in a Fun-House of Mirrors, sitting inside a track-ride. We slowly turn a corner and see Zack lying down. The car stops and Alex gets out and runs to Zack and gives him a long hug. She lets go and kisses Zack on the lips. I blink my eyes and see that Zack has his knuckle up to Alex lips. It's a gesture towards me- that Zack would have made before while he was still my friend. I watch the whole scene objectively, as if it had nothing to do with me... a movie I knew was depressing, but lacked the emotion to feel. The only thing I felt was that I was a horrible boyfriend- at that moment I remembered all of the things I had been saying throughout the dream. It was like my horrible self from waking life was invading my dreams- I had said pathetic things about Zack and that I was tired of all this shit and more. I felt horrible compared to Zack, who had just done something nice for me

<I wake up feeling like shit.>

(I still admired the intensity of the dream, and closed my eyes again and imagined being lucid during it... I repeated in my head, "It's a dream.")
================================================== =============
<I fell back into a dream.>
<It's continued with "Pedophilia in a Dark Place" after this dream.

[Wednesday, October 10th, 2012]
I remember singing "In The Company of Wolves" with Nathan and Alex.

<That's it for recall.>

(Later, I remember being inside of a strange building and outside meeting with smaller kids. There was baseball being played around me but I only remember faint impressions of it being something like a school or private school to be more exact.)

Oct. 14, 2012
11:00-3:00

I remember being in school. Jy was in this one again. It was about how I like her and my emotions for her. I remember standing next to Jy when suddenly this tall person went over to me and confronted me for some reason. That's all I remember.

I was in school and I remember this girl from school named Ty.

There was some sort of object called "Pleasure Lotion" in the dream.

Something about set?

I am in a plane inside of a plane. On a U shaped track. The track ends back inside of the plane. Being John Malckovich style. It is the entrane to a man's mind. As I near his earlobe, I grow smaller, as does the plane.

I am in the same school as usual. The high school that I usually forget my locker combo, my class schedule, yadda yadda yadda...Only this time I have a new confidence. I impress a teacher in the teachers lounge with my big ideas and wealth of knowledge. The other teachers fawn after me as I leave the lounge to go dominate another day at school.

I am suddenly in the middle of the kitchen, watching as my mom bends down to grab something from the fridge. It is the glass jar of Essiac. She pours herself a glass and shoots it down the hatch.

This was my shortest dream of the night but the most significant.

I find myself in a pine forest, an unknown setting for me. People are around but they seem to be keeping their distance as though they're waiting on something or afraid of me and the people closest to me. It turns out they have good reason as mystical powers are being worked with.

The teenage girl closest to me is dressed like Shiro from Deadman Wonderland.

[IMG]http://www.animewallpaperhi.com/thumbnails/detail/20120704/red%20eyes%20deadman%20wonderland%20white%20hair%20shiro%201920x1200%20wallpaper_www.wallpaperfo.com_2.jpg[/IMG]

She is standing near a wall about three feet high that may be made from old railroad ties. Her arms are in front of her with her palms down as though to summon something. Beneath her hands are two white bars, each about six inches long, two inches wide and just over an inch high, stacked one on top of the other. My perspective is from slightly below her and in front of the low wall. Looking up at her I can see light bathing her from below as though the bars are radiating light...but more than that...waves of energy seem to be all around, as though power is being unleashed.

The girl is not as experienced as I am but I can see she definitely has power and potential. As her hands hover over the bars waves of new energy are released, enough to affect the very air like a strong wind. I'm eager to see if she will fully release the power from the bars.

The truly significant thing was the source of power in the bars was dream-power, something I knew to be known as Regional Dream Stabilization. The stronger the power of a dreamer the larger an area they could stabilize and control. The effect was radiant so worked in all directions from the source. I was really eager to see how the effect of her powers unfolded, and I wasn't alone. The others in the forest grove were also on edge waiting for something to happen.

And then I woke.

I've been really lazy lately on writing down my dream journals as soon as I wake up, therefor, the past few days have had very little recall.. I need to get over that habit! xD

Anywhom, here's a small dream fragment for you guys:
I was in a building with a lot of people.. There was a girl on her computer playing a game that looked really familiar to me.. Upon approaching her, I saw that the game was Guild Wars, a game that I use to play religiously. I began to make conversation with her, asking her how long she's played and stuff.. She then gave me a pretty weird response: "what's Guild Wars?" After explaining it was the game she was playing and showing her how to play, the dream kinda crashed.. It seems like more of my dreams are having contradictions in them.. Something will be happening in a dream and the DCs tell me something completely opposite, which then makes the dream become even less aware..

I am a very lucid dreamer. My entire life I've had amazing, incredible, vivid and often times book worthy dreams. I've actually got up out of bed a couple times in the past and jotted them down as quickly as possible before they faded. My dream this morning led me to this site. Not one of my amazing dreams by any means, just wanted to know what it could've possibly meant, as I've never had a dream about eating money before. So, I'm outside waiting to go boating with my fiance' Randy. For some reason, I am hungry and begin eating a sandwich. I take a bite and look to see my sandwich is made of dollar bills. I don't think anything of it, other than it needs more mustard. On the last bite, I open the bread and see there is a folded 10 spot there. I slide it out of the bread and stick it in my bra (something I would actually do) and finish the sandwich. Weird. Seems like it's just a dream about me worrying about money or wasting money. My ex-best friend keeps popping up in my dreams lately also. She's been in the last 3 or 4. Sometimes she's mean. Sometimes she's just there to fill up space.

Dad and I are talking and at the foot of his bed is a huge scorpion. I fear it but he is just curious.



FRAGMENT:
I am in the school, at the end of the long hallway. I reach down and when my finger comes back there is blood on it.

I didn't remember what my dream is when I woke up, only just that it involved a person. Earlier today I had flashbacks of the dream. I now remember one scene of the dream.Scene:
I feel terribly alone. I'm in woods, I think it's central park. I see a person, but just like my last dream, the "lag" had returned. I moved closer to the person. The lag was changing the person's gender from female to male on and off. Before I woke up it stopped at female and I still can barely see the person's face. I feel terrified. I feel as though something terrifying will happen. Suddenly,(Just like a movie trailer when it zooms up on a demon-like girl) I zoomed toward the girl. Just as I start wake up I only get to see the pale, white girls' mouth and the bottom of her nose(I could not see her eyes) she was smirking guilty-like. The girl had the same jacket on as the girl I liked in the fifth grade when we really started talking.<END OF DREAM>