lucid

Morning of April 5, 2015. Sunday.



I already knew this many years ago, but once again a “popular” dream myth is exposed as just that - a myth - this being the one where you supposedly only dream about vivid sexual encounters if they are not presently occurring in reality. (Besides, common sense would dictate that the Tetris effect would render that idea as ludicrous.) Not only that, the level of conscious dream creation and control is almost a hundred percent save for one unusual distortion.

In my (first) dream, I am, for some reason, focused on a room on Loomis Street, the one with the second refrigerator and which was used both mainly for storage boxes and my last sleeping place before moving to Australia (as well as where I read all the letters from my wife before we met). Though I was last there in early 1994, I recall how my older sister still had at least a couple quarter-filled bottles of shampoo from as far back as the 1950s as well as a stack of old “Dig” magazines from the 1950s. My sister called it the “junk room”. In my dream, this room is far more cluttered than it ever was in reality - so much so, it is impossible to walk through it on the floor. It begins to dawn on me that I am dreaming. Oddly, instead of stabilizing and enhancing my dream and taking control as I often have in the past (even as a toddler), I decide to wake up and look around (without moving in reality), which I do.

During this short wakeful period, I start to make my next dream, which will start in the same location but then change to our present address on W street. After a short time, I am back in the “same” dream, more lucid and with more vividness than ever. This time it is raining indoors. The rain is extraordinarily refreshing and I revel in the sensations for a time as I climb up onto a stack of cardboard boxes on my way through the room. Eventually, I leave this room through a fictional door, either teleporting or simply going into the front room of this house by way of a typical dream composite.

From here, I “summon” my wife, who appears automatically at about the age she was when we first started writing or a few years younger. We indulge in passionate kissing and embracing, the sense of touch “accelerated” (in the manner that all senses are in dreams at times, including internally glowing enriched imagery, augmented “impossibly loud” audio, blissful “smells as simultaneous breathing”, and other perceptions not possible in waking life). The only distortion is, when I am holding her from behind, a “hollow pocket” appears within my dream’s rendering; sometimes in her upper back, sometimes in the air - though this does not distract me from reaching my peak. This seems to represent the tiny degree of control that is lacking in my dream creation and continuity. However, I keep “sealing” it (in an automatic mental sense), whereby it fills itself in somewhat like fluid, like a three-dimensional holographic dynamic recess (spherically inverted) sealing itself up from some sort of minor “glitch” of consciousness - like a “blind spot”, perhaps, but more in line with my view and not always on the periphery. I see this as an environmental “flaw”, not related to the form of my wife - more like a superimposed partial “mini-portal” that I do not place my hand near at any point. Still, it may also be a vague association with “hollow of the back” or even the phrase “holler back” (as a typical in-dream orphaned pun).

Even though we had indulged in making love in reality just a few hours prior, my dream seems to increase my desire and awareness and even seems to “reignite” and increase my physical stamina (almost to a point of disbelief considering I was already just fulfilled), something I cannot help but puzzle over other than my dream self consciousness (in some incarnations) being more viable than the conscious in some ways (certainly not in logic, critical thinking, or even common sense, but more relative to bodily control, physical capability, and cellular function).

Affirmation forms, including “Thank you for telling me when I am dreaming”, “Thank you for making me aware of when I am in a dream”, and hundreds of similar phrases, seem to have almost fully integrated into my normal thinking processes, although I still like to experience non-altered or “unscripted” dreams.

Morning of April 5, 2015. Sunday.



Most of my dreams of today had various levels of lucidity, but some are too abstract to relate correctly. Being “inside” abstract forms is sometimes very comfortable, other times bland and uncomfortable (almost strenuous, in fact).

I am in a typical unconscious state of being aware of needing to have my body on one side or the other, a certain number of minutes on each side, and a certain position, as some sort of important faux system of continuity, mostly abstract (almost like “drawing invisibly” or “painting” internally - even maze-like at times), seeing myself doing this even though I have not moved my physical body as such in reality - checking my sleeping form while disembodied and hovering above myself to see if I am in the “right” position at the “right” time, almost like an attempt to interpret myself as a letter of the alphabet that must change in precise rhythms over time, although with the sense of repeating the “same steps” after a time, which my body seems to do. This seems to last for a very long time (several hours), though likely an illusion and perhaps only lasting a half hour or so. This type of “pre-dreaming” or whatever it is seems more common for me over the last few years.

In my main dream, I am walking about in an unknown city with “friends” I do not know in reality. It seems to be late at night. There is some sort of idea related to gang activity, but nothing dramatic happens. I do have a revolver but do not shoot anyone. The setting is ambiguous. I am walking through alleys but at one point, one becomes an internal hallway and then an alley again.

Next, the most vivid (even beautiful) part of my dream occurs. I walk out through the end of a hallway into a sort of distorted alleyway and become aware of a thin young male sitting at what resembles a comic-strip lemonade stand. It is set back a bit from a large storefront and parking lot. He is apparently a drug dealer and in fact is sniffing a lot from his own creations, though seems very cheerful and passive.

These in-dream “drugs” are small containers of various mixed colors of paint (which a person apparently drinks to get the effects, each color being slightly different), or at least that is what it looks like and what I instinctively believe. There is a very strong smell of paint in the night air as well as an odd organic scent, or rather, likely a chemical fabrication of fruit scents and such; blueberry, orange, lemon, grape, strawberry, and so on. I feel slightly out of place in accidentally arriving at this location (almost like accidentally going into a bar) and somewhat wary, but the unknown male seems very sincere in his service and asks me what he can get for me (inferring a particular mix of particular colors in precise proportions). I cheerfully say “no” (with respect) and continue walking. I really do not feel like drinking paint even while within a dream. At this point, when I look down, I see rivulets of paint flowing out into the parking lot from his area, which I end up walking on (the entire area is covered), all different colors and glistening brightly in the moonlight, swirling and forming multicolored abstract pattens. These completely random and incidental swirls of color flowing out over the parking lot and into the street seem hundreds of times more pleasant to look at than typical graffiti. There are gallons and gallons of paint seemingly being wasted in his business, but it also seems like the remains or “waste water” of whatever process he is working with. There is an intriguing calmness during this scene. (It also seems somewhat odd that so much paint has recently been flowing out from one small area - though not necessarily in a negative context.)

Although I become more lucid, I mostly end up walking around without doing much other than enjoying the night air and sense of peace. (I am still not quite sure what city I am in.)

Looking for my dream buddy:

Just coming out of my meditative state...it was beautiful. Don't know if I got anything right, but this is what I saw.
1. flowers blooming outside in the dirt (red) coming up from the ground
2. Then the red flowers either died or went away and dirt (the earth) was uncovered to reveal a face of a buddha or Egyptian mask or just a plain mask or face???
3. I kept hearing music playing, like there was a band. Do you play in a band?
4. Light beam was around me
5. a light colored house. This all happened in the front yard of a light colored house.

I can't remember anything, but I called out for Xanous and I heard a voice, but the music was so loud. All of this happened during my meditative WILD. I did not see our target, but this is what happened when I asked to see the target...in that order.

April 04, 2015

---

I was standing over a large room. It's was if there was a balcony at the top of the room to oversee everything. It was all bare except for a pool. I decided to have it filled, so I could invite my brothers and friends over to swim. By the time it was filled, the others had arrived and we all started swimming. We were like cows/sheep in Minecraft, though; all of us crowded to one corner/end of the pool. And then two of my classmates set up one of those floating barriers so we were all stuck in this space.

I decided I was uncomfortably crowded where I was so I called over to the ones making the barrier and told them to open us up to the rest of the pool. It was my pool, so I could do what I wanted with it. People started to disperse, and I felt better. I realized that there were a whole bunch of nerdy celebrities in the pool, not just my family and friends. Actors from so many different Sci-Fi or otherwise nerdy series were there and I couldn't believe my eyes. Then My little brother, who was floating next to me, smiled and said, "You still think you're awake, don't you?"

I looked at him, confused, and then at my hands. My fingers were all different lengths and there was one too many of them. I was dreaming! I was a little bit disconcerted that a DC had said something like that. Isn't that not usually supposed to happen...? I let it go, and jumped out of the pool to hover above it. I tilted myself so I hung upside down to think of which tasks I wanted to try first. I figured I would do the portable portal task first, so I rummaged in my pocket (I was fully clothes even when I was in the pool) until I felt something paper-like. I pulled out a folded black piece of circular paper. Perfect! I unfolded it and noticed that it was pretty small, somewhere between the size of my hand and the size of my head. It didn't bother me, though, as it would probably get bigger when I placed it on the ground. I was already hanging upside down so I simply slapped the piece of paper down toward the ground below me. It stuck itself to the ground and I shot right into it head-first, hoping the portal would take me to an advanced civilization or the ISS.

I seemed to be falling down a long black tunnel for a few moments. In the next instant I was sitting in a corner of the living room back home. Not really an advanced civilization, but I'll take it.

And then there was a siren or something. I heard the beaming sound from Star Trek, and about 20 red-shirts and 10 medical staff in formation appeared in front of me. The living room had no furniture and these Star Trekkers were small. They started dancing and singing a song about their bananas being theirs and no one else's... There was also something about a marmoset in the song, but I don't remember the lyrics all that well. Three of the red-shirts broke off from the formation with huge gun-like things. I watched as they walked toward me, turned back to their companions, and shot colored foamy stuff at them. Funny thing, only the red-shirts got covered it it even though the medical staff was scattered through out the ranks.

What interesting advanced tech, I thought.

I decided I still wanted to visit the ISS. I had just watched Interstellar that night so I was pretty excited about this. I walked outside, and noticed a Turkey Tom perched on the basketball hoop in my neighbor's half of the driveway. At first it ignored me but then it turned toward me and just sorta stared at me. I told myself to ignore it and reminded myself this was my dream and I could make it leave. I walked out to the center of the driveway and when I looked back at the hoop, the creepy turkey was gone. My cousin was now there, and she handed me the water softener my dad bought last time I was home. She said I would need soft water where I was going.

Holding onto this clunky water softener, I looked up from where I stood. It was foggy, or cloudy, or both. I couldn't see the stars... I jumped up to fly fast upwards but for some reason could only go fairly slowly. I was just passing the tops of the tall trees in the yard when I looked up again. It was still foggy and I could see the silhouettes of giagantic trees far above me. It was kinda cool and beautiful, but I wanted to get out to space... I landed, tried again with a fresh start, but was going even slower this time. Exasperated, I threw the water softener, realizing I had been stupid to keep holding it. I did another RC to stabilize my control; my fingers still looked all wonky and I decided to try flying from the field instead of from the driveway. I flew over the trees lining my yard and landed in the field. As I passed over the trees, the world was suddenly snowy, and I brushed icy snow from the top of a tree. By the time I landed in the field, there was no snow again, and there was no fog but there were still clouds.

I decided to try a different method this time, and instead of looking upwards as I flew, I looked down at the ground. It was closer and I could more easily envision what would happen as I shot upwards, as I'd done this lots of times in Minecraft on creative mode. I used my hands to make a sort of window so I could only see part of the ground, and jumped upwards, thinking of a rocket launching. I shot off from the ground at an incredible speed and watched as it flew further and further away from me. I watched as my house/yard became a circular patch in the middle of a vast plane or wheat/corn fields. I got higher and higher and decided to pause for a moment. I stopped on a dime, and looked around. To the north, there was a huge lake or ocean, and an island on it. I could see a line of houses along the coast of this small island and somehow I just knew that this was the fabled Guinea Pig Island one of my students had told me about last month. I went just a little bit lower to see what kind of advanced Tech they had. I noticed thousands of tiny flying craft. I assumed each of them had a guinea pig in it. There was also some sort of crazy machine at the top of a building. It had moving arms and I wasn't really sure what it was doing. I flew further north and saw various colonies of various advanced-looking civilizations and cities, and then I hit the coast. There was endless water from here on out. I continued flying at high speed over the water, getting higher and higher and higher. Everything got brighter and brighter and the sun, which was to my right and setting, was flaring more and more. Then I hit some sort of threshold and things got gradually bluer and darker. I looked up and could see stars even though I knew it was daytime on the ground directly below me. I got excited and kept pushing, expecting to run across the ISS any time now. I spotted something out of the corner of my eye and there it was! Well, actually it was the Endurance from Interstellar. Close enough, yeah?

I flew up to it and knocked on a window to get someone to let me in. I was tickled giddy that my subC didn't allow any sounds in space. I didn't hear the knocking and I couldn't hear myself when I called out to the guy who was inside. It was Chris Hadfield haha!

He let me into the Endurance but I woke up shortly after, before I could talk to Chris ; u ;

When I first post my dreams they will almost always be a rough draft because I type them right after waking up and copy and paste what I could remember here. I will come in to write the details later! The lucid dreams will be heavily detailed in the beginning and I will come to elaborate on the regular dreams later.

My main technique for lucid dreaming is trying to focus on everyday life. Give myself ways to stay conscious throughout the day. I'm still pretty bad at this, but I guess it is slowly getting better. It makes ordinary life more fascinating at least. I can never had one specific title for my dream posts because I have recall multiple dreams in one night. I usually have so many dreams that it is difficult to remember them just because of how much I need to write to get all of the dreams down.

Color Coding System:
Regular Dream
My thoughts about the dream
Lucid Dream
False Awakening

Chinese names to cover identities of real people

Car Sick

In a car with one of my roommates, 艾娜. I am not sure where we are driving to, we are in a deserted looking area. Almost like a desert. We stop close to a restaurant/hotel. I stop the car in the middle of the road and get out. I am worried about parking it there, but I figure it will just be a short while. I get sick and go throw up. I try to cover the fact that I am throwing up when someone comes over to ask if I would like to reserve a table. I try to make it look like I am just wiping my mouth and slowly rise. He assume that I am going to be sitting at the dinner table with this one Chinese guy. I find him attractive, but tell him that I'm not interested in a table. I start to see the Chinese guy who was at the table talking to another guy while looking over towards me; I believe at least one of them or both were Chinese American. They start to fight for my attention, trying to get me to look over in their direction.

The Alleged Suicide of Bethany

I am in a room with several other people, though just as an observer. The three people in the room begin discussing some matter or the other, not sure what it was exactly. One woman recites a poem that she made up having to do with a river and drowning, it has some element of being morbid and sad. After saying it, one of the other people asks her where she learned that poem. She replies that she got it from a play called Beth (which I assume is referring to Macbeth). After she says the word "Beth" the second woman in the room accuses her of actually meaning to say Bethany, which is the name of the woman that was killed. She then talks about how she must have been involved in Bethany's death. She brings up how she brought a dress to Bethany's bedside for her reaction to it. She would put her hand on the dress to see how she reacted to it. She also mentions how she would spend over 170 hours on Facebook. I am assuming to research information about Bethany's death? Also I remember thinking in the dream that 170 hours is not that much, but in my dream I mistook her saying 170 hours for 170 minutes, which is only a little over 2 hours. Then I realized that even 2 hours on facebook is a lot of time.

Sexual Abuse - slightly graphic

I have a dream about 婻. She enters my dream and tries to kiss me on the mouth. I avoid her as she gets closer to me. Horrified I wonder what is wrong with her. She puts her hand on my chest and tries to get closer to me. Mentioning something about another friend I have that I would be okay doing that with. She acts possessed in the dream. I wake up horrified. I wonder how I didn't realize this was a lucid dream since it was very out of character for her, but then I think that maybe in my subconscious I feel this is something she might be capable of.

No Future

I talk to my sister about her ambitions and the program she wants to research in. She tells me she is considering no longer doing it, but she is worried about being the disappointing one in the family since everyone else was disappointed with me and what I did with my life. She doesn't want to upset my dad.

——

Meeting in a Dark Room Turns Party

A lot of movement happens before entering my lucid dream. I am always in some type of dark void moving around. I end up lucid in a house with a bunch of black people, behind a guy who is sagging his pants. I accidentally grab onto them and they pull down a little so I move back away from him as I am afraid of accidentally offending dream characters. I follow them upstairs. It is very dark. I realize a lot of my lucid dreams lately have been dark for some reason. I try to mentally turn on the light in the room, but to no resolve. I then decide I will close my eyes and imagine light! I end up leaving the dream. Well this isn’t very good. I guess I’ll try to go back maybe. So I am floating upwards into space moving around twisting and turning. I start to concentrate on the people on the couch. I start falling down, down, down, down. I’m still concentrating on the couch. I end up back on the couch and some lights are finally turned on. Though this time I am at some sort of party. I start walking around noticing all of the different people in the dream. I walk past one guy and wave at him. He is a tall black gay guy with dreads, he kind of scowls at me after waving hi to him as if he is thinking “why are you taking to me?” I keep walking and try to start talking to myself to hear my own voice. I didn't speak out loud originally because I thought it would end the lucid dream for whatever reason, and also because I believe I can communicate with the people in my dream by just thinking anyway. I continue to around the party until I see Cookie and Luscious from The Empire (a TV show) sitting at a table laughing and smiling. Cooke's hair is done up and she is wearing bright red/orange looking lipstick. I continue walking and see a character from The Game. I keep moving around hoping I can see two of my favorite guy characters from the show. I then see Tay Diggs from The Game. Wanting to play around with my lucidity a bit, I ask him if I can kiss him. “Yea, sure.” He replies with slight hesitation. He is extremely tall in my dream. He must be at least 6’4. As I go in for a kiss he tells to me wait, that he wants to jump back in the pool first because he’s worried his breath smells like pizza. I assume he is maybe going to gargle the pool water to get rid of it, which I find slightly strange but at the time I thought it was normal. I follow him outside and watch him jump back into the pool. I also want to jump in but I am fully dressed. I am wearing a white and peach looking dress/jumpsuit, not sure how else to describe it. I figure I can jump in because I am dreaming anyway and I can just make myself dry when I get out. I start to jump in but realize how high up I am. I see a woman at the bottom. Next to her are two twins, black women with big poofy loosely curled hair and a white female friend of theirs. The woman at the bottom is also white and her hair is braided loosely into twists, which seem to be fake locks for her as her hair looks very thick and coarse and the twists stick out to the sides instead of lying straight down. I start to jump in but I am too high up. I look down and realize I might end up hitting the stairs that lead to the shallow end of the pool. The girl with the twists makes a comment about my hair, "Did you like do mock locks or something?" She says to me. I look at her with confusion. "Um, my hair is in twists. It doesn’t look anything like locks…" She replies, “I know! I was just thinking you black people love to do ghetto stuff with your hair.” I end up next to her. Annoyed I reply something like “What the hell kind of comment is that?” She says, “I’m just kidding!! Gosh lighten up!”

“Don’t make comments like that to any black people. Especially ones that you are not even friends with.” Annoyed, I start to leave the pool area, and end up in a game room with Michael Jackson. Yes a lot of celebrities in this dream…which is kind of weird for me. We play some type of car race game where you press a button and a difference sequence of actions pop up one by one. You keep choosing until you are happy with your sequence of attacks on the other player. When you are done you both allow them to play out. When you are hit, your part of the game starts shaking. It was on something that I guess could be described as a long, black pole. One opponent stands on one side with the other person standing on the other. You face each other and if your part vibrates it will make you move and fall so you are acting as if you have been actually hit. Michael Jackson would get very dramatic when he had been “hit”. Like falling down and clutching his chest. I guess it would be pretty entertaining if I wasn’t so confused about this type of game. After this part of the game I lose consciousness and wake up.

Little Minchkin and the Road Trip

I am with my parents and as we are walking in an indoor parking garage I see one of my sandals on the ground right after realizing that one of my sandals was missing off of my feet. My dad scolds me for being so careless with my things. Inside of the car my mom starts to put all of our dirty shoes in a bag. My dad gives her his sandals to put in the bag since they are too dirty. The shoes are all filled with sand. I am assuming we all went to the beach. As we are driving in the car, my dog Minchkin starts to climb onto my legs and stick his little face out of the window. However, he is too forceful with doing it and I am scared he will fly out of the window. I hold onto him tightly and only put him a little close to the window, but not all the way.

Buying New Balance Shoes in Shanghai

I am outside trying to buy New Balance shoes for 周周, I ask what type of shoes they have and see they only have really big sizes (European size 50) and really small sizes for a baby. The woman selling them says they don't have any other in between sizes right now and that all of the styles are for men.

Morning of April 4, 2015. Saturday.



I am lucid in this dream, though it is not of the level of lucidity that enhances the dream state to full vividness and highly focused dream-self awareness. It starts out at our present address on W street, rendered fairly accurately in layout and overall appearance. My wife is with me for most of the events. Two unknown people (late forties perhaps - male and female though not necessarily a couple), dressed somewhat formally as for a business, are on our porch while there is a storm beginning. A thicker bolt of lightning comes down and strikes them, actually curving around underneath the eaves, seemingly knocking them unconscious. I decide to summon the lightning to strike me to see what will happen (regarding my in-dream state of awareness) as well as thinking it may improve my physical well-being. I am not able to do this though and become somewhat annoyed though not outright angry.

Later, my wife and I are on a crowded bus in a larger city though the storm seems to threaten to tip the bus over. We get off the bus and the other people do as well, though we hold a cheerful disposition. There is a strange sudden heavy rain that blows horizontally (mostly only in one small area of the street, near the corner) and for a moment, almost seems like a large unseen hose spraying from the front of the bus (from near the rear-view mirror). It is not even near us so we do not get wet.

I am later walking down the sidewalk and there is a large gnarled tree that actually moves one lower branch to avoid physical contact with me, which annoys me in the manner of an insult. I then demand (though without projected anger in my voice) that the tree make contact with me and heal me. The branch perfectly forms the shape of a human hand and holds it over the back of my wrist. (This reflects somewhat on a long vivid dream of over twenty years ago where trees on a boulevard reached down to caress my face and express love though the mood is entirely different here.) The mood is not fully positive though, and my lucidity is not that pronounced - though I am still aware that I am making most of my dream’s contents.

Later, it seems to be after sunset and there is still some sort of unusual storm activity (but not directly threatening in any way). My dream takes on a similar mood and setting as previous dreams where I am looking straight up at the sky; the zenith (and almost always with abstract features). It actually seems to take place in the same setting as other similar dreams somewhere in the southwest area of La Crosse. (It is not anything like the “remember the twilight” dreams where I watch lights or other things and events in the sky over the horizon with a nostalgic sense.) The sky is very unusual regarding the cloud formations and I also see various “objects” moving around, such as an orange trapezoid and other geometric shapes now and then, though which seem two-dimensional and not related to a spacecraft of any kind. From here, my dream becomes too distorted to hold cohesion of any kind. The sky; the zenith; becomes a random hodgepodge of abstract morphing shapes.

WBTB 3:00 Am, Read Dreamviews dream journals, Mantras (written and spoken), and then I got all my pillows organized in their perfect places, then to bed - about 1 hour later. I then laid in bed and repeated my mantras in my mind until I was feeling sleepy, then I started to meditate. I was doing body energy work where you bounce your energy in a clockwise direction around your bedroom, off the walls and through your body and out the other side. After one complete rotation, I would pick a different plane to repeat the exercise. One bounce takes about 1 to 2 seconds. A mental image of my room builds in my mind as I proceed. It’s like your scanning the room with a beam of body energy. After about 10 minutes I started to do tactile imagery where I was climbing a ladder, and then I move on to climbing a rope, and then picking up coins with my right hand and dropping them into my left. By this point my body is asleep and my mind is awake. Sometimes my hands or feet start to feel really sore (pulse with pain), so I move energy away from feet (repeating) to my torso, and then the pain fades and disappears. This is a common problem while in ‘the void’, or in deep meditation, and I accidently stumbled across this method of getting rid of the aches. It works awesome!

While in ‘the void’, hypnagogic imagery and occasional voices happened. Then I got a 2 dimensional picture of a hospital room, and it quickly turned to 3D (lucid dream). I started to walk around the room, but it was black and white, and of poor clarity. A nurse walked past me, and I decided to close the curtain around the bed, so I could focus on improving clarity. A doctor then walked in through the opening in the curtain and stood beside me. Then my vision started to fade quickly, so I asked the doctor to hold onto my hands, and he did. Darn, I was now back in ‘the void’, but I was still holding onto the doctor’s hands. I could hear somebody laughing to the right of me, and then the doctor said something. Soon after, the doctor let go of my hands, and I woke. Position and pillow change.

I tried to repeat the WILD technique described above, but I fell asleep, and then I had this interesting Dream Induced Lucid Dream (DILD). In this dream I was viewing it in 3rd person, from above, and it was an excellent Rambo movie scene! Rambo was driving a quad with really big wheels, and towing a fifth wheel style, semi-trailer (all camouflaged). On both sides of the semi-trailer were two army tanks being towed by heavy cables. These tanks were literally skidding across the ground on their tracks, and it really made no sense to me how a quad could possibly have this much pulling power. I realized I was dreaming - DILD (for several reasons)! Rambo was driving this assault vehicle combination through the thickest jungle ever, and trees were flying! He fished tailed onto a logging road, and under a bridge, and then one of the tanks drifted way off into the forest knocking foliage everywhere. He then drifted through a parking lot and smashed sideways into a restaurant. I then moved from 3rd person to 1st, and I followed Rambo as he ran into a restaurant in a blaze of glory with his dual machine guns!

The two women behind the cash register ducked as bullets flew overhead, and the patrons looked at us as if we were aliens (kind of WTF look). I instantly told Rambo to stop shooting because he was going to hurt these people, then he unexpectedly turned into a regular looking guy with a huge smile on his face. I quickly looked around the restaurant, and nobody looked any worse for wear, so I headed outside. When I got outside, I noticed that we were inside a huge facility, and the Rambo Assault Vehicle was still there, smashed into the side of the restaurant. A very tall 7 foot man was standing beside Rambo’s vehicle admiring it. I figure he have been the dream creator of this awesome Rambo action scene I just watched, so I asked him, “Did you just create this amazing action dream with Rambo and this assault vehicle?” He laughs and replies, “Heck no, this action dream was created through the thoughts of hundreds of people!” I wasn’t expecting that answer. Interesting!

After he said that I started to float up above the wreckage and restaurant to see if there was an exit out of this facility. The ceiling was really high, maybe 100 feet, and it was lined with offices and mezzanine walkways. There were people everywhere, and several of them were watching me as I flew around the perimeter of the facility. A child then shouted my name and said, “Show us some lucid dreaming tricks!” Okay, I’ve never had that request before, so I flew into the central area of the facility, about 40 feet off the floor, and I started to form a beach ball size of white light in my hands. I was planning on giving it to the kid, but then the dream fading, so I immediately took off flying right through the facility wall and into the blue skies.

It was an amazing summer day, and I was flying over a massive city on the coast. There was one very tall building in the city’s central area, so I flew up to it for a closer look. The building was covered in black reflective glass, and reduced in cross section at several intervals in elevations. I could see many people inside the building, through the tinted windows, and I thought maybe this would be a good place to meet up with my daughter. When I got to the roof, the wind was way too strong for a safe landing, so I abandoned mission, and I decided to look for a better place. I quickly flew over to the coastline and saw a beautiful park below with a large concrete monument (war hero remembrance site). I landed on this large concrete deck with concrete railings, a monumental statue, and steps going down in two different directions. There was grass all around, a sidewalk, several covered bench areas, lots of people, and the view of the ocean that was nothing short of amazing! I then started to call for my daughter to come, saying I found a beautiful place for use to meet at.

As I was walking down one of the concrete stairs, my oldest sister appeared out of thin air, right in front of me. She said, “I figured I’d find you here!” I walked up to her and held both her hands and said, “Yes, this place is amazing!” My 2nd oldest sister then appeared to her left and said, “Hi!”, and then my son appeared to my right on another set of steps, “Hi dad!”. Then my daughter appeared right in front of me. She was crying, I ran up to her and held her in my arms, asking her what’s wrong? She said, “I can’t do this. I don’t want you talking to mom about this anymore.” I then remembered the nasty argument mom and I had the other day about my lucid dreaming visits with my daughter, and I said, “Are talking about the argument mom and I had the other day?” She said, “Yes.” I woke after that, and I realized just how upset my wife gets when I talk about all the wonderful visits my daughter while lucid or in an OBE; whereas my wife barely remembers any of her dreams, and dreams with her daughter has only happened a couple of times since her passing. I’ve decided in the future to only discuss these dreams with my wife if she specifically asks, or if she is directly involved in the dream in some way.

Teaching

I have a dream about teaching my girl students. They are giggly and bubbly as usual. I see one of my students who is very good at English in the dream. We talk a little bit and I am impressed with how much her English has improved.


Student Visa

The school I am working at offers to transfer me over to a student visa from my working visa.


Work it Out!

I am on a bouncy ball in the middle of a huge group of women and children. It's hard to get them to hear me so I must speak as loud as I can. The movement on the bouncy ball starts to get me to start flying and swirling randomly into space. This type of movement usually propels me into a lucid dream.

Out of Control Car

I am in my car, in the middle between the driver and passenger seat, talking to my dad from outside of my car through the windshield. The car starts to roll backwards and then quickly propels backwards rapidly as if I have applied pressure to the gas. I realize this is impossible and become lucid. The car stops and I am inside of some type of garage. It is very dark. I lose consciousness and the lucidity as well as the dream ends.

I am just getting back into my lucid dreaming. My last journal was 高欣妮, but I have no idea what email I used to sign up with that account, so I just remembered this one!

Color Coding System:
Regular Dream
My thoughts about the dream
Lucid Dream
False Awakening

Quasimodo

There is a man that I will call Quasimodo because of his slightly deformed appearance. He had a very gentle demeanor, but he did not fit in when it came to his social behavior. He is on a large stage, there is a blue light all around him and he plays music on the piano. When he finished he simply walks off stage without address anyone in the audience or saying any type of farewell. Everyone in the audience looks at each other, a few are smiling because of this odd behavior. They hesitantly start to clap. Later he is in an office with I believe two other men start to interrogate him regarding specific information. He answers the questions as best as he can.


moking hookah but in dream it's weed/ALS-music--just gets off stage questioning about why he did a certain thing (QM), yoga program, reviewing a tape, says he doesn't know--needs additional information


Fabric Store

buying fabric with Nan, she doesn't want to buy a pattern, just the fabric--look at scarves that are made the (paper chain-type) way, very poorly made, lots of fringe on the end, but they haven't had seams finished

Weekend Fun

, dad comment about legs/knees, weekend thing to do, starts at 4am--free alcohol, picture of guys in the water holding their breath with 2 things of beer, Chat room--message directed at me but ignore it

Paying the Ayi

talk to Karina about them paying the ayi, she has school and I have work so we want to get the money before they move out--Karina tells me to just pay in the morning because she thinks they are staying up waiting for the guy to come move all of their things, she is sitting on my bed

Enter Through the Garage

I end up in a garage, I know that I am dreaming because I don't park my car anywhere in China and there is a car next to my car that I don't recognize. It's dark everywhere, but I don't want to turn on the lights because I feel it will disturb my sleep pattern. I open my car door, I almost don't care about the car next to me, but I decide even though I am dreaming I shouldn't still try not to hit the car with my door. I move inside the dark garage. I can barely see much. I go to the garage door. I can still barely see much, so I try to feel for a handle. I notice there is a lock on the door that can opened with a key, but no handle. I wonder how I am going to get inside. I notice writing on a sheet of paper on the door, I am fascinated by how detailed everything looks. I decide I can get inside because I am dreaming... I mentally push the door open, it gets a little stuck but I keep willing it open until I am inside. Everything is very dark. I can vaguely see the furniture. I seem to be in the kitchen. All of the sudden I feel a furry thing on me, licking away at my neck. It's Minchkin! I am overwhelmed with joy. "I missed you so much!" I say. I hear my dad's voice in the background, a very low murmur. The dreams starts to fade out to a third eye vision. It moves around the living room and I see a black and white spotted cat (?maybe this is not clear, but it is some type of animal). Dream continues to fade until I decide to wake up and write it down.

The Mansion

inside big house, a bunch of different rooms--living with girls

From The River

very long dreams: outside looking at fruit that is growing right off the trees--bitten by bugs, photographer trying to take my pictures, yell at him, butterfly dies, cat is in pain, falls off small cliff like thing, I start to go down the ladder by it and see all of the prickly things that the cat got caught on. I get to the bottom of the ladder and jump, it ends up being really high up. I realize I am dreaming and change the dream scene. I still end up back in the water. I am floating around and see a bunch of boats with people in them. It looks like a video game. None of the people are saying anything, they are just frozen in time. I get in a small boy's boat and he starts to talk to me. "Welcome!" He says something like this and we start to float into a building where the game would begin. We float into the building where it says "begin" though the boat ends up not going down the game path way. We end up in a cafe looking place, we are still in the water in the boat. I notice how real everything feels. The wood on the stairs, the plastic of the furniture. I then end up inside of a souvenir type shop. I look at different things inside of the shop, then I realize maybe I am dreaming this so I can discover an ancient Chinese souvenir. Since it is hard for me to manipulate a scene automatically, I close my eyes and say that the shop will have Chinese good in it. When I open my eyes everything is red. I see small tiny looking straight-haired wigs. I look in the mirror and see that my hair is straight, with a slight wave to it. I keep looking around the store until my consciousness fades out.


Albus Dumbledore?

dream about being inside of a house or some type of living room talking to a girl that I know and there is a guy, an old guy named Albus (I remember his name because I asked if I had met him before and called him Albus Dumbledore). He tells my friend and I that we need to be still and to get educated. He has some type of video set up that allows him to see and talk to us (he hides under this small blanket and disappears to another area).

ESL English School

Local teacher Annie keeps telling me that it is class time or that it is meeting time. I finally get annoyed at her because she tells me it is meeting time even though the school is starting to close and I start to prepare to attend the meeting. I tell her to stop telling me it is class or meeting time and that I am really annoyed at it. She has a very neutral response to my anger, but she seems to understand my frustration.

I wake up in my bed. My body feels weird so I figure I'm dreaming. I do a nose plug and can breathe. I get out of bed. My body is heavy and unstable. I recall the hole task. I reach into my pocket, take out the rubbery hole, and throw it on the ground. I try to jump into the hole, but my balance is so poor that I miss the hole completely. I end up falling through the floor anyway. I find myself in an open orange underwater dreamscape with long hourglass shaped bubbles all around me. I try to summon a dolphin but I don't get anything. I wake up.

Sorry for the delay
So here is my last dream from my golden age of semi lucidity.
I'm at the usual place, parking lot, supermarket. Things going all right. I just got almost lucid.
Now I practice with the elements, I have a bit hard time with my abilities ,telekinesis is quite buggy today.
I was thinking of strategic attacks , then I got an idea of a finishing move that also eliminates all enemy around me ,and maybe it even kills me. Tepes's Aegis - Named from Vlad The Impaler .
Stakes falling from the sky, impaling everyone in a kilometer radius . It seemed to be a very nice idea , just in case of fighting.
I kept walking around when I suddenly felt that something's coming . I started to walk out of the parking lot into the bus stop hoping that the thing didnt see me.
At a point I saw him walking towards me , I tried to hide and I succeded , but then I took a bad step.
Now he sees me , even he made an eye contact . He stops .
Then he unleashed his anger towards me , I was able to sense it in the air, it was blazing like hellfire.
He sent a message through telepathy and it sounded something like this.
"YOU BASTARD , YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DID F*** S**T UP ,NOW I'LL F***IN KILL YOU "
I was in some samurai costume , it was in a very bad state but whatever , and all I was able to summon is a rusty sword.
The guy starts to morph into a goddamn Human-Bull beast which had horns and stuff.
This thing was a muscly crap and scary , it gave out horrible sounds , But I knew I got to fight it. Though I almost shat my pants .
Then in this moment I remembered the new technique I raised my hands and said" Țepeș's ægis!"
And the sky got darker, and so we began to fight . in the beginning All I was able to do is dodge ,dodge and dodge and hope that motherf***r won't bite me .
Soonly I was unable to see anything because the stake rain arrived, I raised my hands and made a protecting field that brokes these stakes before hitting me , even though , I got hit by one of those on my hands and had a few scars but then it stabilised.
But the bull beast wasn't even hurt, it was just going through it , throwing some cars into the air from anger.
Then I saw that the steaks are made of glass , its of course unnefective on this beastie f***.
I tried to slice him few times, but he hit me back, I almost died , and also flew 20 meters.
Now I stopped for a moment and think , before the bull ambushed me I said "LET IT BE MADE FROM IRON"
. IT WORKED! The bull got injured , and so I got ready to attack.
Then It got even more mad. And so it started to run towards me crushing everything on its way.
With a last running I raised my sword for a last blow, and then for my luck . The bull got hit again.
The time slowed down , full adneraline , I swing with my sword ,I sliced into its neck and head .
I did it , and then time goes back to normal. the bull falls over . That was an epic moment.
I breath heavily , I got exhausted by the battle, I slice a few into the bulls body, then it disappears.
- I did it , omg.

A helicopter comes
Guy screams , "get up there , WE got to go!"
I get up there , we fly away
-Where are we go?
-I'll tell you later.

The dream ended

Note: Dawn was not in his anime form this time. I think I'm starting to recognize a different form that he likes to take. So for my next dream goal I'm going to ask Dawn what form he likes to be in.Also, I did not write my dreams in the notebook so i forgot the first and most of the second dream.

Pizza And Apple pie

Was watching a movie and eating apple pie with two guys and a girl in a restaurant.The movie made me and a guy there laugh a lot. Than suddenly a anime character came out the movie,grabbed my arm and told me not to give up or I'd fall to my doom.

Dawn
I was inside an unfamiliar room trying to fall asleep but than i got up. When I was standing up I suddenly noticed my sister too close behind me so I pushed her away.I than decided to go upstairs and find Dawn or Eye. When I was upstairs I decided to use the phone to call him. But I don't remember if he answered the phone or not. I saw him in the living room when he appeared though. But than after talking to him for a while the dream got unstable and he went somewhere else. I rubbed my hands than started counting. That's when i think the dream shifted. I was now getting out of a car with my brother's friends and my brother. I felt i had lost my hat but realized that what i was actually doing was dreaming.

I started to call Dawn again and the dream setting began to change into my living room. It was day time and people were watching the news. On the news i saw what looked like a special secret service officer type of lady. She was on a court trial than got jumped by men on the court. The video sped up the more i focused on it. After that it changed to the weather and said TUESDAY 4 degrees on the bottom. I ran downstairs after that and looking for Dawn who than hugged me from behind. After that he took me to my younger brother's room.

He showed me some paper drawings of a sad person with the words "I don't like you" or something like that. He showed me some other words too.As he was showing me this he was also talking.I wanted to remember what he said but it was hard to take in for some reason. I got the feeling he was trying to tell me that I was ditching him or hurting his feelings and that i had to be confident with my answer though. He than showed me two huge kanji looking letters that were silver/blue on the top wall that was in front of me(Not the ceiling). There was a small heart design next to one of the characters as well. He left as I was viewing this.

I thought it was cute but got scared and was like "wait a minute...What if he wants my heart." I crawled under a window opening in the room and went through the bars. I flew off to on top of a building. Than flew higher and faster into the distance. As I was passing by stuff I was surprised my senses were working well for this long. The dream felt like it was almost real. I saw a yellow highway and cars passing on the bottom. I wasn't really sure where to go until i ended up at a daycare.There was a familiar looking teacher i recognized and she was alone with the kids. A few kids were misbehaving and i felt bad i could not help her since i was invisible.

*There was also a part in here where I FA and thought i heard a toy action figure. But I don't recall when that was.

The past couple of nights I've had dreams that are lucid or near-lucid. On the first night I enter a bedroom with three figures in it. Two are women with raccoon tails having sex (yes, my dreams are often X-rated). I do a reality check by feeling a dresser in the room. It feels solid, so I think maybe it's not a dream. Then I focus on the third figure, who is a red/dark pink blob. I imagine it a woman. And it is so! I'm excited that I know I'm dreaming now. I have sex with her, transforming her body occasionally. Then I wake.

The next night I'm in a public space, like an airport or casino. A woman walks by me and I telepathically tell her to kiss me. She does so! So I must be dreaming, I think. But I can't get her to do anything else. So my reality check returns a false negative and I conclude that I'm not dreaming.

These two nights have my hopes up that this can be a regular thing.

I went to bed around 10:00 Pm and woke at 3:30 for Wake Back to Bed (WBTB). Read some dream journals, and did some written and spoken mantras (to visit with my daughter while lucid), and then I went to bed and meditated to state where I was consciously awake with my body asleep. Unfortunately, I did fall consciously asleep, and I ended up in a dream where I was driving a snowmobile down a mountainous gravel road during the summer. I was pulling a co-worker on a bobsled, and we were travelling dangerously fast, so she said, “Hey, slow it down a bit!” It sounded like a good idea, so I pulled into a parking lot to take a break. The road just seemed to end in the parking lot, and I found that a bit strange, so then I questioned myself if I was dreaming or not. Yup, definitely dreaming, I’m lucid! I then woke from the excitement and I was back in the void.

I was lying in bed with my mind consciously awake and my body asleep for a short period of time. Then I felt somebody crawl into bed behind me (I was laying on my left side), and then they reached around and hugged me with their right arm. I moved my dream arm carefully, so as not to move my physical arm, and I gently held onto the person’s wrist. It was definitely my daughter’s wrist, because she has very small delicate wrists. We laid quietly for about 5 minutes in ‘the void’, and then I decided to try and speak with my dream voice, “I love you!” It worked! I was able to talk without using my physical voice. I then felt ‘the vibrations’ happening, but I didn’t want to OBE exit because I was perfectly happy just lying there with my daughter. Soon afterwards ‘the vibrations’ ended, and then I heard a lamb go, “Baaaaah!” in my right ear! Little did I know I was false awakened.

I sat up in bed unknowingly in a false awakening, and I saw my wife, son, and my son’s friend, all standing in my bedroom. My bedroom actually appeared as my bathroom, with my bed in it. I could hear rocks rolling around somewhere. I told everybody to get the heck out because I was trying to lucid dream, and they all just laughed at me. My wife passed me the I-pad, but it looked totally different, and I couldn’t get the dang thing to work properly, so I passed it back to her and she closed it like a laptop. All these dream signs and I still didn’t realize this was a false awakening. I was getting real angry with everybody being in my room, so I laid down in bed to fall back to sleep. That’s when I woke for real! Darn, that would have been an awesome lucid dream. Clarity was picture perfect!

In this next dream, I was at a shopping mall talking to a pretty quadriplegic, black haired girl (in her 20’s) who was painting with her mouth. I asked her if she always paints with her mouth, and she replied, “Sometimes I paint with my hair”, as she grabs the paint brush and sticks it in her hair. So I smile and say, “Oh, you’re not paralyzed?”, and she nods ‘yes’ at me. So I sat down beside her to watch her paint, then she sat on my lap. I felt a bit uncomfortable with this, but I was willing to go with it. Then my wife walked up and pushes lightly on the girl’s back to get off me! Trying to avoid trouble, I stand up and walk off with my wife. I reflected on what just happened, and I figured out I was definitely dreaming! Lucid again (DILD)! I then put my hands on my wife’s shoulder and said, “We have to call for our daughter to come!” She momentarily looked puzzled, and then she caught on! We both started calling for our daughter to join us in this dream. We walked up a flight of stairs to a landing, and then my wife became distracted with something. Then I put both my hands on her shoulders and looked her right in the eyes and said, “You must stay focused. Keep calling for our daughter until she comes.” My wife had the strangest looking glowing bluish eyes. She agreed and we continued up to the 2nd storey of the shopping mall.

Suddenly I heard my daughter say, “What? What’s going on? Huh? How come mom’s there?” BTW, there were tons of people in the shopping mall. Then I saw a little girl walk by, I thought maybe that was my daughter, but no, she walked right past us. We continued calling for our daughter. Then my daughter came running up the stairs and towards my wife. She was really young, maybe 5 or 6 years old, with curly blonde hair. My wife scooped her up in her arms with excitement and they hugged and kissed! I ran around to the other side, and together we gave our daughter a huge sandwich hug! That’s when I woke from all the excitement. I wish I could have stayed longer to see what happened next.

Went to bed at 23:10 for 30 min, then at 00:00. WBTB at 04:40 for 20 min. While lying down, rehearsed the Raduga separation technique and made my affirmations. Had mild anxiety and stayed awake for quite some time (over an hour). At some point, I realized that I was looking at a seaside scenery and the image was quite bright. I quickly imagined bringing my hands forward and moving in the scenery.The vividness of the scenery increased and I was there, walking in the seaside street. Yes! I was so happy! I remembered the jogging TotM and decided to keep on walking and observing the scenery. I was walking on a dirt road and on my left was a beautiful sandy beach.
A few bushes were on both sides and beyond the sea, I saw a strange silvering mountain with some kind of flag on top (if that was real, the flag would be huge) that changed shape as I was looking at it. I kept walking and the scenery didn't change a lot, apart from going uphill and downhill and passing by a few trees. Then I noticed that I was being followed by 2 old men. I felt uncomfortable, so I stopped and pushed them both down - knowing its a dream, so it's not bad to do so - and kept walking. I then reached the edge of a really high cliff.

I jumped and started falling really fast. I feared that I would loose visuals as I was floating very high off the ground, so I concentrated on the feel of the air on my hands - that strangely I could feel on my left hand only. Just before touch-down, I glided forward and flew straight upwards. I was over a seaside town and I was trying to maneuver my flight. Having some difficulty, I grabbed the (imaginary) parachute controls - that I had successfully used in another lucid - and started accurately directing my flight. While on air, I tested all movements and I saw that turning left-right and stopping worked immediately, but gaining height had some delay and didn't always work as expected. So, I continued to fly over the house-tops and through the seaside village, immensely enjoying my flight - even though the control was not perfect.

At some point, I felt that my parachute got stack -at an antenna? - so I just let it go, fell on the roof-top and jumped back up, imagining a new control and continuing my flight. At this point, I think that I lost some of the initial lucidity. Some kids are looking up and admiring my flight, so I land and say: come with me, I will show you how to do this. We walk and we come at the same dirt-road I was in the beginning and there were the 2 old men. This time I recognized them as my Father and my Father-in-law and I was very sorry for what I had done... I hugged them, asked them to forgive me and they said: it's ok, go show these kids how to fly! So we walk further trying to find the high cliff - but it's not there anymore. We reach a home and get inside, where in a large hall there are lots of kids asking me if I can fly and how to do it. I said: you first need to know that you are dreaming - and I demonstrate to them a positive finger-through-palm RC. One-by one they successfully try it (one also extended his fingers), so we conclude that we are all dreaming and I say: come with me to show you how to fly! But as we move outside, the dream fades and I am back in bed... I tried the Raduga separation technique but I was quite awake. Tried to go back to sleep so I could have another Lucid but I soon realized that it was late and I was well rested, so I got up and wrote this down, very happy for my Lucid!