lucid

Ritual: It was a great night for dreaming, probably because I went to bed so much earlier than usual, though I've also been especially attentive to my RCs for the last couple days. I went to bed a little before midnight, and I'm also currently on the East Coast, so the clock was three hours ahead of my usual time zone. My sleep was punctuated with the usual half-dozen wakings, though I didn't do any specific night practices other than try to pay attention to the transitions between sleeping and waking, and in this I was not persistant or prompt enough to pull off a WILD or a DEILD. But by around 6am I woke up from the first DILD, spent until 7:30am writing it down, then went back to bed and lucked into a second one.

NLD, "Drones": I'm standing by a floor-to-ceiling, wall-length window in a big hotel suite, looking out over the curve of a bay. From the height we must be somewhere between the 20th and 30th floor, and to the right I can see another tall building, or perhaps an extension of the same hotel, following the curve of the beach. Ahead and to the left is the flat horizon of the sea. It would be a pleasant view if it weren't for all the drones hovering in our field of vision, each one carrying a sign with a single word on it, white block letters on a black background. The words seem to be completely random.

"It's like some dystopian future," I comment to Peter Dinklage, who is standing to my left. I muse about what it would be like if the drones were weaponized, and turned on us like machines tend to do in science fiction. Though a chilling thought, they are awkwardly constructed without any armoring, and look like they would be easy to shoot down.

Then I notice that although they are not armed with guns, each drone is fitted with a camera, which is just as bad in some ways. Are they conducting mass surveillance on us? The cameras are all pointed directly at us. As I watch, a see a few drones of a different type fly in very close. They are not carrying signs, and they are disk-shaped, topped with a transparent dome through which we can see tiny people inside operating them. The pilots can't be human: even though I am standing next to a dwarf, they are much smaller than him, the size of babies, but with adult features and pointed ears. One of them waves at us, and Peter Dinklage says something like, "This is really disturbing."

FA-DILD, "Smallpox": Shortly after this I have the sense of waking up, though it is not a typical FA; I do not find myself in bed. I feel like I am standing in the same spot, in the same room, only awake now. Everyone else who was in the room a moment ago is gone, and there is no longer any impression of a view. The light has changed, becoming greyer and dimmer: it felt like late afternoon a moment ago, now it feels like early morning.

At once I notice that something is wrong with my body: a dense network of small patchy blisters is completely covering my skin. I look at myself in third person, as though in a mirror, and see them everywhere: covering my face, my chest, my arms, every patch of visible skin is mottled with these raised lesions. I know exactly what they are, too, I've seen them before in historical pictures: these are smallpox pustules, apparently in an early stage, since they are slightly lighter than my natural skin color and haven't scabbed or opened yet.

Immediately my rational mind rejects the scenario: didn't I get vaccinated for this? I realize I don't specifically remember getting a smallpox vaccine, but... isn't that because smallpox is extinct? I can't recall the details but I'm sure I remembered hearing that. Surely it's not making a comeback, like measles, because of all these anti-vaccers? But that can't be right—if smallpox were coming back then vaccinations for it would have become available, and I'd have been first in line.

This can't be happening. I try to will away the pustules but nothing changes. I remain unconvinced. This can't be happening, it must be a dream. If I can levitate, I will know it is a dream: I put my mind to it and though I do not levitate properly, I can feel that gravity is definitely different from waking life. So it is a dream! Okay, that's what I thought. Thank goodness I don't really have smallpox. Now I just need to fix my appearance.

I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror, trying to will my skin smooth again. The pustules are stubbornly persistant, but a lock of hair turns white and I decide to transform the rest of it for fun. It instantly turns stark white, but the texture remains smooth and silky. This gives me the idea to turn my skin jet black, like that of a drow elf. I concentrate and most of it transforms, but there are still pale patches on my forehead and upper cheeks, and when I look down at my legs, they are a streaky grey that is fading out toward the ankles, more like body paint than skin pigment.

On the bright side, changing the color of my skin finally got rid of the pustules, leaving it smooth again. Now I just want to even out the color, but the pale patches resist my initial attempts to darken them through will alone. I try to use my hands, as though spreading pigment over the resistant areas, and this helps a bit, but it is not an easy fix. As I peer closer into the mirror during this process, I notice that my eyes are solid black. I can't remember if this was the correct color for drow eyes, but I really like the effect. By the time I complete the skin transformation, my hair has faded from snow white to a yellower bone white, and this looks better and more natural with the jet black eyes and skin.

During this process my hair has been going through stylistic variations, always long and straight, but hanging down in different ways, and smeared with substances like blood or oil. I figure this makes sense for drow fashion, since living underground they probably don't bathe all that often, making hair treatments like oil very practical, whereas the bloody streaks look impressively gruesome. Although my skin won't stay pure black, it doesn't fully revert to its natural shade either, but retains traces of color, like streaky orange-browns on a muted blue base, while the hair stays yellowish-white.

WBTB: I woke up and spent over an hour writing the report of the last dream, but afterwards it was still early enough to go back to bed. Although I was not sleepy, it was a pleasantly lazy morning, and I enjoyed drifting in hypnagogic imagery. There was a period of ambiguity where it became increasingly difficulty to tell if I was having waking or dreaming experiences, and then I slipped again into full dream.

DILD, "Bed Monsters": I was wandering through the large house belonging to my in-laws where I am currently staying, and I had lost count of the number of bedrooms... there had to be more than twenty. Just how big was this place? At that moment I realized, no, of course it is not so big in waking life, it is because I am dreaming that the size has been exaggerated. Dreaming, eh? Wasn't there something I had meant to do, if I found myself dreaming in a bedroom? Suddenly I recalled this month's TOTM, to make friends with the monster under your bed. Oh! I should get back to the room where I'd been sleeping! I dashed back so quickly I was afraid I would destabilize the dream, but luckily it stayed intact.

I peered under the bed but it was a pleasant open space. It looked like there were a few banal things stored under there, but nothing looked sinister or monstrous. I felt around for something to work with, and my hand closed around a small plush object, which I withdrew and examined closely. It was a small brown teddy bear, only five inches long, with a plump, pear-shaped body and tiny beady eyes. There was a lighter brown oval around the bit of stiching that served as a nose. I was impressed with the detail with which I could perceive it, but had no idea how was I supposed to "make friends" with it. It seemed totally inert, a harmless stuffed animal. I set it on the thick folds of the comforter piled on the bed. "Dance!" I commanded. It just sat there. "Dance!" I tried a few more times, but it remained inaminate.

I walked around to the other side of the bed, setting down the teddy bear on a dresser. I turned away for a moment, and when I looked again it had changed: now it was a sort of bell-shaped plastic structure hanging from the ceiling by a string. I couldn't tell what its purpose was, but it still appeared to be an inert object.

It occurred to me that I had been walking around and standing right next to the bed completely heedless of the space underneath. If there really were monsters under there, I'd have to watch out for my ankles! I wondered if this was the problem, that I didn't really have any lingering childhood fear of monsters under the bed. Perhaps I should try again with more intent.

I bent down and looked under the bed from this side, trying to keep the idea of monsters in mind. I still didn't see much under there: it was a light and airy space, just like in waking life, completely different from the overstuffed space under my bed at home. But I did see a scrap of cloth within arm's reach, so pulled it out. It turned out to be a little crocheted cat, only about three inches long, white with some orange spots. I guessed it must have been made by a total amateur. The body seemed floppy like it was unstuffed, and as I turned it over in my hands, I discovered that it was actually crocheted in a single flat piece with the four little legs sticking out horizontally, so only when it was folded in half along the back did it look plausibly like a cat. The head was the only piece that appeared to have been crocheted with any semblance of three-dimensionality. As I studied it closely, I saw tiny points of bright green contrasting with the dominant the white and orange: there was a little green tuft on the trip of the tail, and projecting from the head was a narrow appendange like the antenna of a cartoon alien, also topped with a green point.

However, this object also showed no sign of motion or life, so it would be hard to say I was "making friends" with it. But then my eye caught a glimpse of orange fur near my feet: my cat had appeared! I wasn't surprised that she had turned up: when thinking about the task in waking life, I had reasoned that she really was the monster under my bed. Though I adopted her when she was about five months old (the best guess of the shelter) she had been living in a feral state before that, and even after five years of comfortable indoor living she still has the edgy instincts of a street cat: she hisses at the slightest provocation, and holes up under the bed for hours whenever a stranger is in the house.

I knelt down to ruffle her long, soft fur, which felt totally life-like, but I noticed the color was off. In the dream she was calico, with big orange patches, but I remembered that she was a tabby in waking life. I wondered if she could qualify as my dream bed monster—though right now she was acting very pleasant and relaxed, and I figured it probably wouldn't count because I had already made friends with her in WL.

Yet again I peeked under the bed, and this time at last I found the perfect candidate for my experiment. I felt that it was connected somehow with the tame cat at my feet, as though all her feral qualities had separated into a different animal. This one had a tortoise-shell coat, all the same colors as a calico but in smaller, more mingled patches. Although the fur resembled that of a cat, the body suggested another animal entirely, with a narrower head and tapering snout. I was pretty sure it was a fox. Best of all, it was already hissing and snarling at me! This was the monster I had been looking for!

Now all I had to do was make friends with it. I began calling to it in the cooing, overly affectionate voice I might use with my cat. "Come here... lovely sweetie... lovely sweetie. I have treats for you my love... treats for you my love." The animal reacted as any feral creature would, holding its ground and continuing to hiss and snarl. I could see the tension locked into its body, poised for fight or flight. I reasoned that since it was a dream monster, the best approach would be to hug it, but that wasn't obviously wasn't going to be possible while it was still under the bed. I needed to draw it out first.

I reached under the bed and the animal snapped at the air and threatened to bite me. I considered drawing my hand back for a different approach but decided to let it go ahead and bite, inspired by that wonderful scene in Miyazaki's Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind where Nausicaa tames the fox-squirrel by remaining calm and patient when it bites her finger. Plus, since it was a dream I didn't have to worry about physical harm. So I kept reaching toward the animal until it bit down on the middle of my left index finger. The pain was surprisingly clear and sharp, but easily manageable. I kept thinking of that scene from Nausicaa and projecting similar expectations on this situation. I felt the animal relax enough to take a few steps closer to me, but it had not yet emerged from under the bed when the dream abruptly faded. Intriguingly, even after I had fully transitioned to wakefulness, I could still feel a distinct itch in the second joint of my left index finger where the animal had bitten me.

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I haven't posted in like a week. Foul recall everywhere. Anyways, I had a decent lucid come out of nowhere last night.

Some dream about space pirates who we were fighting. They had caputred our ship and imprisoned us in this big black fortress base on an ice planet. I remember getting into one of the gun turrets and destroying these fuel silos that caused the whole base to start burning.

Our ship managed to escape. It was this big zepplin-looking thing with all of these little white triangle shaped planes attached to the outside. They started to detach from our main ship and attack the pirate base.

-(Unintentional) WBTB-

I was with S on my university campus. We were walking around when someone approached us claiming to be Manei, though she was short and had blonde hair. We kind of brushed her off at first but she started following us. We started to run away from her and went into the men's restroom. She even followed us in there.

"Dude, is this girl seriously trying to get with me?"

"Doubt it. She's been chasing me for years, why should she start going for you all of the sudden?"

...

I was outside running along the parking lot. It was a bright, clear summer day. (Contrasting the nightmare that was about to unfold.) The DC appeared again.

"Come with me, I have everything Manei has, I'm even good at archery!"

"The real Manei doesn't know archery..."

This was the first time I looked closely at her face. One eye had nothing in it, was just white. Her teeth were yellow and rotten, and wrinkles galore. (I know you're not supposed to judge based on looks, but-...ughh)

There was some legitimate explanation that I had from the real Manei that this was like an aspect of herself that she had created to separate out some of her flaws and insecurities.

I started to walk off.

"You're doing a really bad job of impersonating her with that skin... If you did your homework you would know she has black hair and darker skin."

I saw her head spin around her neck. When it came back around it looked really disturbing. She had a sort of mask of her face, but it sagged in places, notably around the eyes. Her hair color changed, and her skin tone got darker, but didn't quite match the mask.

I also sensed her energy. It was weak, but it was dark and rancid.

"Now, you won't hurt a face like this will you..."

"I've had enough of this!"

I jumped into the air and started flying. I remember seeing my red fire jet this time. (Hey, where were you last time?) Wind began to form a tornado around me, blowing some leaves around me. I manipulated the winds and picked up a couple of cars from the parking lot and got ready to throw them at her. I also made an air shield around me.

Her mask blew off, revealing her original face. I remember she tried to throw these little throwing stars at me. I dodged a few of them. (The wind sheild didn't block them.) One of them hit me in the shoulder though, but I didn't feel anything. I fought back by throwing one of the cars, but she jumped out of the way and threw another throwing star.

"Leave my dreams and never come back!"

I sent the other three cars down on her, one after the other. Three direct hits. I saw her get crushed, but when I threw them aside, no body. I lost the dream due to emotion (I was mad) and woke up.

Morning of May 9, 2015. Saturday.



This dream was brought on by anger and frustration as well as a stress headache. For the second day in a row, on the weekend, totally thoughtless workers involved in the National Broadband Network annoyed and stressed out my family by parking next to our house at about six in the morning and playing their radio (of continuous amplified arrhythmic babbling of the announcers with unnatural undertones) and gossiping loudly near our windows for about nine hours. They seemed to only be involved in actual work about ten percent of the time. I have always considered that the surreal level of disrespect, mindlessness, and oppression by the government, authority (including any agency or business authority), and infrastructure, is too bizarre and purposeless to be real, and is actually something I have aligned with other elements of the unexplained and which I consider part of the mysteries I have contemplated since early childhood. Having this view has never gotten me into any trouble because I have never acted upon it, as there is no reason to. It is the problem of humanity itself. I consider myself far luckier than many people, though being with augmented senses and awareness makes it difficult to be near many types of people for the most part, primarily because there is little I can relate to concerning much of the general populace.

My dream gives me the “gift” of destroying much of humanity, though only those who feel they can do anything they want to someone without repercussions or answering for their impositions. It starts out when I begin to grow fangs in the manner of a typical vampire, though there is no in-dream association with vampires. I am aware of the need to protect my family as well. I transform into a large dragon at times and let all of my anger out onto the world. I breathe fire in my human form at times, with enough power to wipe out an entire city block, mostly only in business and industrial areas. I am aware of an intensely loud and low-pitched growling (with various overtones, some even musical) coming from my presence at certain points. It is very clear audio. Normally, any speaking or sounds I make are fairly loud and clear in dreams, but this is extraordinarily forceful, almost like a sound as present and far-reaching as the totality of the world’s sounds itself, and with seemingly at least three different layers of audio events continuing as my dream fades.

It is curious that I dreamt of being a dragon, as I usually associate dragons with chaos, darkness, and disease (lung cancer associated with breathing fire as well as an event of my rare sleep apnea causing my first dream of a dragon) as well as extinction (connection with dinosaurs and the dinosaur age) and purposelessness (in being a mythological form). Of course, the dragon is also associated with evil in the Christian sense, but I have never held much interest in that idea - though in my dream it seems the opposite; it seemed to be a positive life-affirming “judgement” (from God or perhaps humanity itself) rather than the supposed “Devil”. Without the oppressors and the people who feel their thoughtless (and usually pointless, such as loud radios) impositions mean nothing, life is more enjoyable and harmonious. However, people who feel their oppressive acts should be self-controlled (or regulated if they are too stupid to understand) oddly feel as if their “rights” are being violated somehow. Astounding, really, but human nature, apparently.

One of the reasons why I cannot understand how a person, especially someone who is supposed to be working in an infrastructure-related job, could have the courage to play a loud car radio near someone’s house early in the morning, or anytime for that matter let alone for hours after, is that I cannot remotely imagine doing something this insane and risky from my own perspective. Why? Because I know how I feel when this happens, including the real risk it generates (as people have been attacked or killed over similar acts - though this can be acted out in a dream with no repercussions of course). I could not even began to imagine doing the imposing and thoughtless things to people that I have experienced continuously throughout my life by certain other types of people.

My brother, I and a unfamiliar woman with red hair were all playing a uncommon game involving a toy bear. The stranger was the closest to the toy bear. It had appear she tied the toy bear with a string to the bucket and would pretend to be the bear by screaming for help. My brother seem fine with this as she continue to call for help. I decided to steal the bear from her and told her help is here, no need to worry. I threw away the toy bear and did not think much of it.

The unfamiliar woman had become very angry. She somehow had control of the electricity as all the lights in the bedroom went out. She proceeded to grab my brother and then stole the only car we had and force him inside. I stare at them through the window in till I watch the entire car leave. I got off from the bed and tried to turn on the lights but it would not come on. I then went out to the living room and attempted to turn them on but nothing.

I went back in to father room and decided to see if I was dreaming. I check my fingers but they were all cleared, I then did a nose check and I could breathe through it. I then become lucid and quickly enter the kitchen to phase right through the back door. Instead of sliding right through it my face was slam against it. Quite realistic I thought to myself, I open the unlock back door and with little effort partly close it.

I then darted up the hill and can confirm it was night. There was a grocery store near here, but then I heard something making a lot of noise. I decided to check what could be causing it. I found two people near the store with one girl dancing to music on her headphones. I think she was yelling the lyrics out loud. I decided to grab her hand and started spinning her in till she was almost like a helicopter choppers. I then let go of her and watch spun up in the air in till she hit the ground.

A man in a grey suit had just witness what has happened. And yelled what are you doing? And ask if she was alright? I saw a near by tunnel of some sort and decided to walk to it. Once inside it appear to be sort of like a casino. I must've been the arcade section as there were many games alike. My eyes caught a glimpse of a couple of bodies space out in corners and some underneath the gaming machines. I continue walking more in till I saw a glowing arrowed sign tunnel.

It look like fun but I decided to continue checking out what kind of games the arcade was featuring. As I continue to observe it, I am woken up by an outside noise. Lucidity Time: 3 minutes

night of 5/7/15

#1
There is an arsonist who has been burning buildings and homes down in my area. I am working with a DC to identify him/her. We go to our "dream lab" to work on the problem. The lab is accessed by falling asleep and then in the dream going to our lab? While in the lab at work a man appears to us and asks if we know where a certain person is at. We tell the stranger the location of the person he is looking for and he promptly disappears. After he leaves we realize that he must be the arsonist as there is no other way that he could know about our lab and how to get there. We also realize we know where he will strike next as we just provided him with the information. We leave the lab and instantly appear outside of a house. It is nighttime. I call up to an open window and my nephew appears. The arsonist has not yet struck and I feel relief.

#2
I am in my living room, it is dark, the only light is ambient light coming from the streetlights outside. I instantly realize that I am dreaming. I say "I am dreaming, I am going to walk over to the door and go outside." I find it very difficult to move, as if I am in water or surrounded by gel or something. I struggle against this for a few seconds and the dream starts to fade. I wake up and mentally review the dream. As I fall back asleep I catch some beautiful psychedelic HI.

#3
I am being carried to a beach on the back of a co-worker. We pass an old blue car. My oldest friend is seated in the driver's seat. I call out to him and he gets out of the car and joins us in our walk to the beach. Next we are outside of a blue wooden building. We all have large, strangely designed shotguns with rotating magazines? My friend says "watch this" and shoots an electrical wire protruding from the building. It emits some sparks and leaves a hole. I turn to my right and see a kite tethered to the beach, blowing in the wind. A large eagle swoops down and becomes entangled in the kite string. It falls to the ground, wrapped tightly in the string. I immediately feel that I must help the large bird. I walk over and pick it up, cradling it in my arms. I walk down to the beach, looking clearly into the birds eyes. I dip it in the ocean, baptism style to clean it off. I exit the water and my friend cuts the string that has been binding the bird.

Morning of May 8, 2015. Friday.



My dream’s setting, which is meant to represent our home, is rendered with quite a bit of detail, though it does not seem that familiar (even in comparison to various past false renderings of our home as dreams typically do). There is concern about some sort of cable box for television (and possibly with computer connections as well) that is illogically hanging near the window at a slight angle, a bit more than halfway up the wall, in what seems to be the living room. Over time, I put my hand on it and clearly feel intense heat. I can even vividly feel the heat on the palm of my hand from about a foot away. This becomes a concern of course, as it may eventually cause a fire. A small fire soon starts near the box, but we put it out right away with a spray bottle (probably filled with water).

Time passes, the television remains on, and I eventually see reddish orange flashes outside the windows though it is not that late and I think the sun is still out. I go outside and see that the entire front of the house is on fire, but in several different smaller sections near the roof, each area on fire being just above each window, of which there are at least five areas. I get the garden hose and manage to put them all out, but I also note numerous small clean splinters of wood falling to the ground, which I even remark upon in my dream, though this oddly does not seem that problematic, especially as they are so small, almost like the house is “shedding” slightly curved toothpicks.

I realize that the house we live in (in-dream) is not suitable to have cable television - since we seem to be able to have the television on only for a few minutes before the box overheats enough to cause a fire. Strange dream “logic”.

I began walking down a sidewalk near a school building. I soon started thinking to myself that if I found myself randomly walking in a place I had no idea about, I most likely am not really here. It was sunny, and as I got closer to thew school, I realize I forgot my bag. I lost my previous train of thought and continue inside the gym where there were other students attending. I confronted one student and had a short talk. Soon after the scene change. Lucidity Time: 7 seconds

Busy week. Posting a super short summary for reference.

02 May

# 1: With Rumplestiltskin again, this time lucid. We talk and explore around.

# 2: aggression induced ld, dodging bullets by slowing time and phasing. Later went after the attackers using super strength.

05 May

# 3: distractions . Later recalled the basic smell task - found an aromatic candle, which unfortunately didn't smell at all. Then smelled a little bottle of shampoo next to it, smelled like one of those aroma essential oil extracts.

07 May

# 4 (++): Wild + deild and unidentified ld fragment: remembered the basic task again, smelled the air - cold and fresh with a gentle tree scent. Met a friend - actually imposter DC, talked a bit, listened to dream music in the distance. Memories of a cave scene.

Ritual: WTB 12am, WBTB 4–5:30am (working), woke 6:15am with dream.

I dreamed I was working in a museum and I had assembled a collection of objects to show people. I had left a bunch of things lying outdoors on a forest path and wanted to bring them in, so I grabbed an armful of tall leather boots (there were least six pairs in different styles) and walked back to the museum. By the time I reached my destination I was only carrying one pair, and thought I must have dropped the others along the way. I wasn't sure where to store the boots I had brought back, but I looked around and decided to lock them up in a tall armoire of Japanese design. I opened up the doors and there was another set of doors behind the first, and another set behind that, three in all before I reached the interior.

I decided to take my car to go back and get the rest of the stuff since I had left a lot of things lying on the path and I wasn't doing a good job of bringing them back by hand. I have a third-person impression of watching my car wind its way through a narrow gorge: at times I was afraid the rocks were too close together for the car to fit, but I found it easy to lift the car off the ground and twist it as needed to avoid the rocky outcroppings. After getting safely through the narrow rocks I felt very pleased with my success, and decided that I should spend more time driving like this, using the wind as propulsion. This jogged my memory: wind! Wasn't that one of this month's TOTMs? At that moment I became lucid and decided to attempt the task.

I raised my arms and called out in a loud voice, "Wind!" I remembered that the task required not using any active power to fly, but letting the wind pick me up and carry me wherever it might be going. So after summoning the wind, I waited passively but invited it to lift my body in the air. The air picked me right up like I was as weightless as a feather, and I relaxed into it. It was wonderfully pleasant and enjoyable to be buoyed up in this way. Curiously I looked around me, wondering where we might be going. I have the impression of thick flocks of birds darkening in the air in what seemed like abstract geometric patterns.

I recalled that the bonus task also involved mastering the elements, and wondered if I could use this same wind to knock things down on the land below without getting buffeted too much while I was floating in it. I peered down at the trees, which appeared to be somewhere between 50 to 100 feet below me (I'm terrible at estimating vertical distances). They were in full green leaf and showed no sign of being blown about excessively by the wind at its current strength. I thought it would be a shame to knock down such beautiful trees, and before I could convince myself otherwise, I felt the air around me destabilizing and woke up.

1. I had just walked into my restroom from my room. I noticed as I walked across the hallway and into the restroom that the house seemed to be empty. I didn't hear any movement, so I thought it was just me. Once I get into the restroom, I turn on the light, close the door, and lock it. After that I (this is where it gets explicit), something in the dream tells me that its time to have some private time with myself. Anyways, After that, and a few unexpected things that I won't go into, I get up off of the floor that I had laid down on and look in the mirror.
I grab my comb which is on the bathroom counter to my right, and start combing my hair. As I am doing so, I immediately notice that I am half bald(wow thats not good). I try combing my hair back to make it look better(didnt help at all lmao) but it did no good. Just then, I look at myself closer in the mirror. I look just as I would in waking life except for my hair and the fact that there are big wire coils spread all throughout my hair. "What the fuck?" I say aloud in disgust. I then realize, "Wait a second, I don't remember putting coils in my hair"(but it didnt occur to me that I was half bald lmao). With that I become lucid once more, but immediately as I do I feel myself go into a transition into the state between dreaming and awake(im just guessing thats what it was). Everything is all black and I can feel myself moving from my restroom in the dream, into my room in waking life. It's a very weird feeling and feels exactly like I had actually just came from the restroom in waking life. It feels like I floated back over to my bed.
As I sit up in bed at 2:30 in the morning trying to figure out what happened, I am stunned and also realized that the restroom in the "dream" or whatever I was in, had a completely opposite layout than my restroom in waking life. By that I mean that my mirror and bathroom counter were on the opposite wall and stuff like that.

2. I am sitting in a court type room with my dad. We are standing up in one of the rows behind the Judge's seat. To my left, there are 4 black men that are dressed in nice suits. The one closest to me is wearing glasses and kind of reminds me of Malcolm X. I look over at my dad and say sarcastically, "I feel less at ease with all of these other guys standing next to me"(i was just kidding). The malcolm x guy looks over at me and says, "Yeah you should feel less at ease".
At this point I am on the verge of lucidity. I look around the court room and out the main exit. Outside of the court I can see alot of people walking around in what looks to be a mall. The floor is marble white and really shiny.

3. I am in Physics class with Ms. Curry and the entire classroom is actually here. Ms. Curry goes around the class and starts handing out Celery sticks of some sort with an orangish/brown dipping sauce. After everyone gets one, she tells us that we can eat it. I put the dipping sauce up to my nose and nearly puke. It smells so strong and so bad, and its crazy how vivid this smell was. I dip my celery stick into the sauce and take a bite or two. "What the fuck this is the worst shit I've ever tasted" I think to myself. This dipping sauce was one of the worst things I have ever tasted in my life and I've never even had it in real life before. The taste was tangy and metallic mixed with another unbearable taste that I cannot even describe.
I felt like I should just throw it all up just to get it over with, but I never throw up so that wasn't an option. I look around and at this point I am on the verge of full lucidity once more. I see everyone else eating their celery and dip with looks of pure disgust on their face. Suddenly Ms. Curry announces to the class as she stands by the doorway, "Now most of you will start to get sick from what I just gave you to eat". I see everyone start to get sick to their stomachs, and you can just tell that they are about to vomit their entire stomach out. "You should start to feel sick and extremely cold". I notice that I am starting to get freezing cold, but I am not feeling sick at all. I had stopped myself from feeling sick, as I always do in waking life. I look around and announce to the class, "Yes, I'm the only one that's not getting sick!". For some reason I felt a great accomplishment because of this.
The cold started getting to me. I felt like I was freezing literally. I contained myself and got up out of my seat. I look out the doorway that Ms. Curry is blocking and I see students walking through the hallways. I wake up and as I do so, the taste of the celery and the dip is still extremely strong in my mouth as if I had actually eaten it, and I wanted to get up and wash my mouth with water.

Black: Non-dream
Blue: Non-lucid
Red: Lucid

Dream - I didn't try very hard to recall this and I haven't been practicing dream recall for some fair amount of time due to university.
Lucid oh so suddenly, annnnnd begin... I'm in a room with wooden flooring and white walls but the scene seems almost like a modern Japanese house. I clear my head and stay calm, the first thing I remember is one of my dream goals. I stabilize a bit by talking aloud to myself, then I vocalize my dream goal by trying to trick the dream scene: "Hey how's it going *name*?" (I deliberately left the name of the person out in this write up because it feels weird).

I pull back the sheets of the bed where I imagine the person to be, she comes out smiling, she looks almost exactly the same as she does in real life except for some reason she has Japanese-like eyes. I guess I should state my dream goal: I want to have a conversation with a dream character + I want to ask a certain person a certain question, but I know that the answer to the question is a reflection of what I truly think and I'd like to know because I can't figure it out... Oh so deep.

Bull-shit aside.

Things didn't go the way they were supposed to... The dreaded cave-man-mode took hold, I guess it's probably because I didn't know WHY I wanted to see her in my dream. Things get hot and heavy, she leans forward to kiss me and I close my ey-
*DAMN IT*
Open eyes = pitch black.
I can feel her touch though, so I must not be fully awake... I proceed to keep my eyes closed and just focus on her hands noodling around me - what's this? Light coming into focus, I can see her face again? This hasn't happened before and it doesn't last long, the dream comes to an end naturally and I wake up.

What comes to mind first? The stress-related lucid dreams are starting again, I have 6 assignments due in the next 19 days which are closely followed by final exams which are worth 50-60% of the papers they're for.

At a Bar/Halloween Monster Attack!

I am at a bar with my father and wife. I get in line for drinks, and comment how amazing long the line is. My wife goes off to mingle, and repeatedly brings me drinks, despite the fact that I am waiting in line for drinks. I warn her that I will be drunk if she brings me many more, and jokingly act intoxicated. This makes the woman in front of me laugh and we start talking, she is a very attractive brunette with shoulder length hair and green eyes, mid 30's by appearance. She asks me "What do you do?" I explain my job to her and ask her what she does. She tells me about some outdoor adventure camp she works at. My wife comes back and we all leave the bar, but now my father has become a generic dude and the woman just kind of vanishes. We step outside into the parking lot, it is nighttime and there are various people in what appear to be halloween costumes walking around. I see our truck, it is a white silverado, and we start to walk towards it, the generic dude with us gets in first. I look off to the right and see a guy jokingly lay down on what appears to be a prop grave. He says "hey, look at this!" and laughs to his friends. Zombie like hands pop out of the piled dirt and start to drag him down, he screams and I realize all of the monsters wandering around are real! I open the door to the truck and in the driver seat is an ugly woman, she has eaten the generic dude and all that remains is a purple bag of goo. I yell at her and push her out of the truck and slide over into the driver's seat. I lean out of the door and yell to my wife "get the fuck into the car....now!!! we have to get out of here!!"

LD #37 Party Time!

I am at a party, and walking into the kitchen I pass a man leaning against the doorway, I pass him and turn around, and instantly know I am dreaming. I say aloud "I am dreaming, this is a dream!" I walk out into the other room and see a young man standing in the middle of the room, I narrate "I am going to slap his face." My narration comes out a beautiful, perfect pitch falsetto singing. I approach the man and slap his face 3 times, he just stares at me blankly. I look around the room and marvel at the perfect, crisp detail. I look at some beautifully carved chairs, there is a full set of 4 around a dark wood table. I think how amazing and realistic they look. I remember "this is a perfect rendition of my aunt's living room" (this is a false memory, although there is some resemblance) I turn around and continue to sing "I am going to walk through this wall and appear in another place!" I confidently push through the wall on my right and cleanly pass right through. I appear in a galley kitchen. The floor is white tile and the ceiling is low and there are fluorescent lights in the middle of the ceiling. The walls are light blue with white trim near the floor. I walk through this room and into another living room type area. I decide I am going to take a psychedelic substance (Harvard dream researcher Alan Hobson mentions this in his book and I thought it interesting) I find a candy dish and intend it to be psychedelic candy. I pick up a piece, knocking several on the floor in the process. The candy is white and red peppermint. I unwrap it and it turns blue in my hands. I put it in my mouth and swallow it, no taste. I walk around singing "the visuals will start soon, I have taken psychedelic candy", again in a beautiful, perfect voice. I walk out into another room and marvel at the perfectly detailed rock wall, thinking again "this is so vivid and realistic!!" I look and see a group of guys sitting and playing cards at a round white table. I decide that I will roundhouse kick the man nearest me. He is wearing all black, with a black "mugger hat", and impossibly dark stubble on this face. As I get ready to kick him he stands up and walks away. I notice the environment has faded and is "shaky" I start to rub my hands together, but the dream fades and I wake up.

This was my longest and most vivid LD yet, surprising in light of my recent slump.

1 minute 36 second read.
Tuesday morning, 5 May 2015.
An Ocean Walk near my Middle School (leg mobility)
Dream # 17,669-01.




It is early afternoon. I am with Zsuzsanna near the ocean. However, with common surreal irregularity, the “ocean” replaces the southeast grounds of my middle school in Arcadia, Florida. I appreciate the beauty of the water’s scintillating surface.

Zsuzsanna walks over an area of the ocean’s surface, and I notice a small school of fish underneath. I get the impression that the water is deep. I walk on the ocean’s surface with her, but we do not go more than ten feet from the “shore.” (The “shore” integrates with the sidewalk that encompasses the large building.)

I see a small shark underneath the water, so I am concerned about Zsuzsanna’s safety. The shark passes underneath her a few times, so I tell her to come over to where I am. She walks atop the water’s surface and is eventually on my left (modeling our sleeping orientation).

She moves away when the shark jumps from the water, illogically floating vertically upright near me, but I do not feel threatened as it taps me on my left shoulder and ear a few times and on the left side of my left leg as it “dances” before returning to the water. (It does not go near Zsuzsanna.) During this time, it had transformed into a grouper about three feet long.

Later, I am on the ground. It has sparse grass and sandy soil. I use telekinesis to attempt to change it. The ground’s surface and the grass move with a rippling effect. I do this for a few minutes until most of the blades of grass move to one area.

Although my lucidness is high, I do not consider how my mental influence has this power solely in the dream state.

I make the ocean’s surface move under my will, but there is ambiguity where water and soil seem to have the same properties. However, it is like a mirage (like looking at something through heated air). I have a false recall of how this type of control of the environment works sometimes, but not always.

---

Being tapped by the floating, dancing fish is an incentive to become more aware of my body through increased somatosensory phasing (and leaving REM atonia). That scenario is followed by mentally arranging and separating illusory patterns.

---

17:00 very tired, head in for "quick nap" but don't set alarm
21:00 final wake up, oops! Must have been underslept

2015-05-05

Only mental journaling all night. Almost forgot one dream at final waking, late dream details vague, LD quite clear & vivid. I'm pretty happy with my developing ability to accumulate and remember dreams across multiple sleep cycles.

01:00 (?) bedtime. Not very tired, take 200mg valerian tab, 1mg melatonin tab
02:00 fall asleep?

07:00 (?)

+ I'm with my wife in a very dark outdoors open area. It's so dark that at times I completely lose the sense of all vision entirely and I vaguely think this is dreamlike but don't get lucid. We approach a school building which we're supposed to go through, our usual route, but I say no, it's too dark and scary, so we go by it. We're now at a street which goes down, so we hop on a bicycle and start coasting down. We're then in daylight and cars are coming the other way on the road we need to avoid them. Then I realize my wife is in front of me on the bicycle and she is naked, I have my arms around her and am holding a breast in each hand, covering her up, I think about her nakedness a bit and that this could distract oncoming cars.

+ I'm in a room, talking with somebody, I see that on the walls (projected?) are animated screens displaying a computer graphics program, it looks like a view of a floor from the game "DOOM" or "quake." I look at these screens and inspect the colors. I'm then starting to play the game: first I select the difficulty (choice is from 1-3, I chose 3: max difficulty), which I know will mean less armor and ammunition available, and then there is a choice (1-3) of starting location which I think is a bit strange, I don't remember this from the game.

I start playing and "know" immediately that I must pick up a backpack of ammo/weapons and see one, I'm spinning around a bit out of control. I encounter monsters and select the shotgun weapon and shoot several. I hear monster sounds and see in front of me a DOOM-lizard thing (that breaths fireballs) and I shoot it. I'm a bit out of control and say something about that. At some point I encounter some wise giant slug thing with an imp handler, kill them both, don't remember them as part of the game later, think killing may have been a mistake, that part seemed more "lifelike" than part of the video game.

+ (lucid LD #110) I'm having sex with ex-GF SB on the ground in a room, I'm on top of her, feel it a bit, she says "but this means we're not NOT dating", I reply s.l. "who cares about not NOT dating," I see to the left and beyond us 3 guys enter the room, I quickly reach up behind me with my left arm and "pull over" a sheet covering us. I watch through the sheet their feet and I hope they will just move past us but they've seen us so they stop to watch. SB and I are not moving and are quiet. The man says "come on, keep going". I reply s.l. "hit the road, get out", this makes man gets angry, he thinks I want to steal another guy's skateboard, they push the skateboard to me in an offering, I think they've misunderstood, and push it back to them slowly along with other stuff and make a motion for them to leave the area. They don't leave so I stand up and take SB with me out of the room.

We're on a ledge of a house outdoors at night, it's fairly dark, I without hesitation tell SB to "jump on!" and take off flying, I'm now lucid. I'm swooping and enjoying the scenery of flying over suburban houses among hills. I right away talk to SB who I still feel holding on to my back, things like "Hey, do you know this is a dream? This is a dream! How do you like it?" But I get no answer from her. I get impatient & annoyed because I really want to hold a conversation with her DC. I say "HELLO! S! Do know this is a dream!?" And I anticipate her answer and recall her real voice and think what it would sound like. SB-DC answers a weak sounding "yes" once or twice. I'm disappointed in her voice, it's totally not accurate, in fact it sounds like a guy faking a girl's voice using falsetto. I reach up behind me and pull her face in front of mine for a quick kiss, this destabilizes the dream a bit and makes my flight wobbly, I think I should avoid that and just concentrate on flying to keep the dream but it soon transitions.

Spoiler for caveman, 18+, NSFW, explicit:

(semi-lucid now) I'm in a store (night outside?) well lit inside. I'm in caveman mode immediately. It seems to be a bookstore with many books on shelves. Towards the back I see the walls are higher and there are works of art there. I see there are three female beings (I think they're actually part of the store? Like living statues?) Of the three of them the one in the middle has a plunging neckline top showing off ample boobs and I goose her a bit. I head back to the front of the store and there are more girls coming in, I'm quite pleased that the dream is presenting females and I don't have to go searching. I walk right up to one and rip her top with both hands exposing her breasts, and feel them briefly but she seems bit artificial, and her boobs are hard/solid like a mannequin. My attention moves to petite slim girl walking by me, I put her up on a counter and start to undress her, thinking this is a waste of time, she seems gone and all that is left is a doll-sized dress in my hands but I decide to "hit that" a little. At some point I've got another girl up on the counter with "spread legs" (visuals vague, don't really see much), and I'm trying to enter her, but her v-jay is somehow a detachable tube that I keep trying to put "back in" her. I give up trying to put it back in her and just enter it, the tube is sort of purple and semi-transparent and see my (ahem) entering inside.

Someone says we need to do something in the back part of the store. Lucidity pretty much gone at this point. Go back towards the back of the store and now there's a whole new section beyond where the back wall used to be. I see two guys with their faces pressed up against a book shelve, I think they're trying to hide while they kiss each other.

Moving back to the front of the store a young man starts talking about economics, about how to determine when to buy and when to sell, I think we've just made a huge purchase (a new house?) and that this guy is implying we made a big mistake. My wife is sitting by him and misunderstanding what he's saying and she's confused and is asking me a question about only somewhat-related things.

awake a while reviewing dreams, BTS

10:00

+ party, multi-group, large area, (water balloon fights?), entrance area (toll booth?), others say no, we don't clean up

+(f) arrive to building, up stairs, suitcase, open door, person there upset to see us, go down stairs, should I go back up?

+(f) with groups of big guys outside

+(f) guys getting into car in garage, I push shut driver's door with foot, old guy getting in right side passenger

+(f) in library w/wife and group, yes, go downstairs, there is slide reading area, trying to choose a table with enough chairs, there is another group already using a table, but several are free.

I am zooming along at a good pace and there is a fork in a covered retail and food area like an outdoor mall with mostly covered sections. I veer to the fork at the left and something about the decision or the way I made the action cues me in…wait a minute, I am dreaming right now! I go around the shops looking for something interesting to check out. I see a few DC's here and there, including a couple in some kind of dessert shop.

I fade into a false awakening of being in a laying position in bed but I feel like I am still in a dream and in my dream body with no visuals at first. I start to see a view of a wall next to the bed mostly obstructed by a sleep mask. I am doubtful that this is my actual sleep mask and is in fact a dream sleep mask and I am in our old bedroom at M Blvd so obviously this is a false awakening.

I go for the TOTM to do an in dream WILD. I pull down the sleep mask and search in the darkness of my closed eyes. It still feels like I am laying in bed but I can see the room again and it seems like the same room. I decide to float up out of bed just in case I start moving my waking body. After a few seconds of nothing I start to float up in the laying position

and I immediately jump down onto the bed up and down joyful that I held onto the dream realm. My wife is in the bed

Spoiler for sexual content:

and I plop down and offer my ahem for some oral. It is very enjoyable and I take some other sexual actions on her at the same time. After a few minutes of that she begins to perform the oral a little too aggressively for my liking and

I move on out of the bedroom door. There are two females in the living room area, one particularly petite and the other average sized. I thought about some things that I had read from some who want to put some moral taboo on dream sexuality and I decided that such thoughts were BS. I reminded myself of that decision and held each of their hands and led them into the bedroom on the other side of the living room.

Spoiler for sexual content:

I started on the petite one while telling the other one, who had sat on a nearby bed watching, to start undressing. I enjoyed watching her undress while pulling off the other ones clothes. I started intercourse and her breast were also petite but just as sumptuous on my tongue. To ramp up the eroticism for me personally, as I am inserting I give her a look to indicate that she should let me know if I need to be careful with my size. The DC responds as intended asking me to be gentle, saying that I might hurt her with my large "ahem."

Spoiler for sexual content:

We ended up on the floor somehow and it has become a little awkward so I turn her over doggie-style and continue. I see a mirror on the other side of the room and we sort of easily zoom-scoot over next to the mirror and I am able to get another view of our "interaction." Inspired by the mirror, I mount the other female and grab her more sizable breasts, sort of comparing the overall experience and it doesn't seem any more exciting but definitely very enjoyable. Her position was already in line with the tall mirror just to the right of where I was previously positioned on the floor. I was able to watch her breasts dangle from the mirror view while also going at her doggie style.

After a while the visuals started to fade but I just danced my way through the void until the visuals came back up and I found myself in a very different house.

I decided it was time to go outside and headed toward what felt like the front of the house. I came to a door and reached for the handle but all I could see was a dead-bolt lock with the key side facing me and no key in hand. Instead of summoning a key I decided that the door would be unlocked and would open with a simple push and it did. I look out to a huge field with many large trees and brush hiding what may lay below.

I fly up and out over the landscape at a leisurely pace a little ways and start to get some declining visuals and decide to fly back towards the house that I came out of. As I approached it, it was a large stately house with several large balconies on the left side of the house.

It looked like either the sun had just set or that it was just before sunrise, a little darker than when the sun is fully out, but with that special lighting at those times. I see several windows with lights on and think about peeking into them to see what I might come across but instead go to a door on the left side of what looks like the back of the house.

As I enter there are a few DC's in the large room and they are introducing me to two blonde women that are coming down large and wide wooden staircase.

This is obviously a mansion house of a wealthy family that has many craftsman features, the kind of features that you don't often see any more except in restored homes. The home didn't feel old at all however. I wasn't looking for any more DC interaction and decided to explore the house instead.

I went up the stairs sort of float walking my way up and turned back towards the back of the house and into a great study.

I was planning on looking out the window to the field I flew over earlier to see what it looked like but got interested in the various intriguing items on display. One was a little statuette that looked like it was made of stone with faded paint. It was fairly simple, not intricate, figure with what looked like a crown on their head, not unlike a chess piece that was made to resemble a person. I decided I would try to morph it and it shortened and curved into the shape of a figurine of a small girl leaning over something…interesting. I see a figurine of a polar bear and without really thinking it morphs briefly into a deer with large antlers before becoming a brown bear.

I look around to my left and there are what look like a lot of nicer antique souvenirs. One is a wooden stick looking item stained darker and with some decoupage design on it that looked like something you might find in a nice tiki bar. The dream started fading again but this time I eventually could feel that I was truly back in bed. I tried for a while to see if I could drift back to sleep without moving but eventually had to a adjust my position and was too awake. #319

Took 8mg G + 500mg C around 620am after going to bed late at 2am (started G experiments one time per week after LD#300). I estimate that I woke from the above series around 8:40 first trying to get back to sleep and tossing and turning a little before eventually looking at the time on my phone showing 8:58am. Continuing "this could really be a dream right now" daytime practice with RRCIS but slacking a little too much.