lucid

March 05, 2015

---

I was with my parents, and we were talking about the Doctor. I was longing for him, and later got to meet up with him (he was apparently someone we knew?) after babysitting some kids, and he gave me a simple string necklace with an orb on the end. I thought it was just a silly trinket he would give to a child, so I was a little upset about it all. When my mom saw me wearing the necklace, she looked concerned and immediately tried to call him. They either told me, or I had a strong hunch that this necklace was something special after all, and that maybe he had strong feelings for me. This thought excited me, but my parents seemed to be treating it with caution and concern, like a baby tiger or something.

Then, they both told me about a dream people had been having. They said it might be connected with the Doctor somehow, so I decided to try to incubate the dream, whatever it ended up being. Like, they told me a sentence to think about, though I can't remember what it was. I ended up falling asleep in the chair I was sitting in with my parents.

In this dream within a dream, I was a worker or resident of some sort of working commune of sorts. We lived and worked in a long building of maybe five stories. But it was on a cliff face, so on that side, the ground floor was below the cliff wall. That whole side of the building, on all floors, was lined with a large wooden balcony looking out into the canyon. There was a sloped road into the canyon next to the building so I liked to watch cars go by.... except cars never seemed to actually go by. All of us in this commune were basically paid to live there and basically just do small odd-jobs all the time. Like, we'd get paid to move these large picnic table-type tables out to the balcony for dinner, or for indulging our hobbies. Some of us were trained doctors (I was one of them), and we would care for people when they got hurt or sick, though it didn't happen often.

On the other side of the building, in the center, there were a set of double-story glass doors leading into a prairie backyard with a terraced garden at the other end, and horse/sheep/cow stables above the garden terraces. It was so beautiful, but kinda utopian (as in impossible and slightly darker than it seemed). Like, on the surface it looked like a perfect little community... but there were whispers.

On the day this dream took place, we had moved the tables out to the balcony for lunch. It was a special day because it was the day a Canyon Horse spirit did a yearly run down the road into the canyon. But for some reason it started early. It had always been in the evening, when the sun sets, and the windows were always boarded up and fastened, and we fasted for the evening, or something. But this year, it was starting in the middle of our lunch. The sky darkened and men came in to shutter the balcony openings; but I just barely spotted the spirit streaking by through the closing shutters. It was a deeply spiritual moment, and afterwards, I was so excited, so I didn't notice the tension around me. Something was happening.

We found out why the doors and windows were always boarded up for this event; the horses in the stables out over the terraces were going mad. The stable men who had been tending them were being trampled or turned mad themselves. One horse was on its back, but still somehow galloping, as if it had legs coming out of its back; it was super creepy. They all, men and horses, started charging the building, trampling the gardens and prairie. People in the house panicked and tried to shutter the doors, but it wasn't working. So we started running. I was running along the building in the direction of the end of the canyon, because there was a town in that direction. I stopped at one of the side doors and looked down the country-lane-ish pathway it opened into, to see which way the horses and men would go. I thought they would all just go straight into the house to get people, but they fanned out and changed direction as soon as I could see them. It was now too late to change my mind, and I wished I hadn't waited, and had just run when I got to the door.

I ran through the streets until I reached a small neighborhood and started turning down streets to try to loose the mad people chasing me. I felt like they were after my flesh, wanting to tear my heart out or wear my brains as headdresses....

I came to a small house, but it had a divot of sorts in the layout, with a bush in it. I ducked into the divot, thinking I would be safe there and no one would be able to see me. But you could see me from the other direction, so it the men ran past and turned around, they would see me and I would be cornered... It was a risk, and I took it. Right when I settled there, a man, I assumed the owner of the house, came from the other direction and spotted me. I thought he was going to call out in alarm, but he must have seen the pleading in my eyes, because when he looked ahead of him and saw the madman who was still chasing me, and pretended he didn't see me as he walked to his front door. The madman passed, kept going, and then the new man beckoned me quickly to go inside, while he kept watch for the madman coming back.

I was so grateful I would have cried. but when I got inside, it was MY house. My parents were there, sitting where they had been sitting when I had fallen asleep. I had a moment of lucidity and realized they were themselves, not DCs of themselves. I sat down in the seat in which I had been sitting before, and stared at them, dumbfounded. "Well, that was trippy..." I said. They told me that people who dreamed after thinking that sentence they'd given me all had nearly the exact same dream. They asked me to describe my experience. They were a little surprised, because most people experienced the dream through a man's eyes, even if they were women IWL. I had been a woman, and when I thought about it, most of the people in the building had been women. My parents said this meant something, but I don't remember what that is, or if they even actually told me. I started to feel myself slowly slipping from sleep to wakefullness, but there was no breaking apart of the dream, because I was sitting exactly where my waking body had been. Nothing about my vision or consciousness changed, except that I slowly felt myself waking up.

(this was the weirdest FA I have ever had)

"Whoa," I said to my parents. I asked them if I had just been actually talking to them. I had; they had inserted themselves in my dream or something. It was all very weird, so I stood up and walked around, not really taking in the fact that my house was now a hybrid of my actual house and that building from the dream. There were a series of small moments; One in which one of my best high school friends was visiting, and we were standing on the top of a hill outside this new hybrid house, looking down a stairway path to the bottom. She threw her phone out over the hill, toward a beach at the bottom, and then ran after it giggling like an idiot. River Song came through some double doors at the side of the house (opening to a balcony eerily similar to the one from the dream) and I was suddenly a young girl, and ther ewere sort-of two of me. We ran up to River Song and hugged her, yelling, "MOMMY!!" I was me again, looking through a storehouse of sorts which had been lost to humanity for ages. We were looking at all the priceless objects inside it, and picking which ones to take home with us. I chose pieces that reminded me of figures my Oma has, because I wanted to have some like them. I forget what mom picked.

Then, I was me again, and sitting against a full-body mirror that stood in the middle-ish of a large room. I smiled, because suddenly I knew I was dreaming. I didn't even need to RC, I just knew it was a dream. I was in a very laid back lucid mood, so I took out my phone and looked at it when I touched the on button. There was a 3D-ish sphere on the top right corner, a moving metronome to the left of that, and some lines below them, which waves and wiggled. The DC sitting diagonal to me laughed and commented on my metronome thing, and I said, "Hey, this is MY dream. You're not allowed to see things you can't possibly see. That's MY job." I stood up, and went to find my parents.

I found where the large room connected to the hallway that was actually in my house, and walked to the end of it, looking at my hands to stabilize the dream and just for shiggles really; they were frozen in this spread out position even when I moved my fingers. Like they were glitching. I turned around and, expecting to find my actual living room when I went back, headed back. I did indeed find my real living room when I returned, and my parents were there. I took hold of the trim on the corner of the wall, and slowly floated myself upward so I was horizontal. I slowly floated up to rest on the ceiling; I was chilling on the ceiling as if I were underwater, and gravity was flipped. My parents just smiled up at me. I thought about attempting another ceiling portal, but remembered the Advanced ToTM about pushing yourself through a mirror as a portal. So I instantly turned off this weird gravity and landed on the ground, and went down the hall again, and turning around with the intention of finding that large room with the mirror again. I did find it when I returned, and sat against the mirror again. Everyone was gone from the room now, so I closed my eyes, imagined that I was going on a mystery journey, and just let myself sink into the mirror. I slowly phased through it as I fell backward, and I let myself tumble out into whatever new place I had discovered. A rainbow passed through me, and then it was crazy; I was in a strange cave-like place that wasn't actually a cave. Where ever I looked, my eyes were like lasers that sprouted flowers and rainbows and stars would shoot out and spread around the area. It was fairly dark but where I looked would illuminate to reveal a dark blue rock-face thing. I liked this so far. I found a small star chart on a podium, and investigated it. The first thing that caught my eye was a rubber chicken. WTF, I thought, and then found a telescope next to the podium. I wanted to get a look at this for myself, so I looked through the telescope, pointing it where the rubber chicken would be. I had been assuming it was a constellation made by weirder people than me, but when I spotted it in the viewfinder... it was ACTUALLY a huge rubber chicken in space. Like, I could tell it was light years away, but it was as big as a huge planet. I felt the dream fading, and let it go because I was happy with the results.

This is what happens when you don't write your dreams after you wake up. ^w^"

-I was playing Zelda and went to a secret place in the forest area. There I met with someone but i forgot what we did.

I was at a glasses store looking for the right blue glasses. The lady who worked at the shop kept annoying me by suggesting the wrong color glasses.When i saw the perfect blue glasses i put them on happily than went home.

I became lucid and was running from these weird troll or gremlin like characters.I think i ran with my younger brother or someone else. The guy carried me to my downstairs bathroom and we closed the door. But the trolls or whatever they were went threw the corner of the door. We tried hitting them but they just kept coming in. I gave up on running from them because they weren't scary anyways.

. I heard a girl talking in front of my house door. For some reason i did not want her to come inside so when she came in i tried to attack her. It didn't go so well though because someone said that the world would be distorted if i destroyed her or something like that.After that I was in my parent's bedroom and noticed a blue ring on my middle finger. There was something important that was given to me too but i can not recall what it was.

Ritual: WTB 11:30pm, WBTB 5–5:45am. Took supplements (l-theanine, alpha-gpc, piracetam, bacopa), did about half an hour of relaxation/breathing/counting on my back. Toward the end had brief series of vivid hypnagogic images (close up of eagle's head, view of a forest) then snapped back to full wakefulness. Not worried, this always happens. Turned on my left side to fall asleep. Woke with dream at 6:30am, so I had probably been asleep for about fifteen minutes.

DILD, "Time Stop": I've just finished a multi-course meal at a nice restaurant and I'm standing a the bar afterward, where the proprietor is offering me a special drink. While she prepares it, I notice that I can barely stand, my legs are crumpling under me, and I stagger as I try to regain my balance, hoping no one will notice. I kneel at the bar, which is low enough to accommodate this, to disguise my inability to stand. This is so embarrassing... am I drunk? I think back and don't understand how that could be, since I've only had ordinary wine pairings with my meal. Then I realize the truth: ohhhh... that incredible heaviness in my legs, that's just because I'm falling asleep!

I'm relieved to understand what is going on, and also impressed that I can think so clearly about the fact that my real body is falling asleep in bed without disrupting the dream. I decide to go on with the narrative that is playing out because I really want to try this drink. The bartender sets an unusual glass in front of me. It is shaped like a particular wooden table made by Isamu Noguchi circa 1941, but with a semi-circular indentation on top for the drink. It is made of hollow light blue glass and the interior is full of crushed ice, to keep the drink cool. The whole thing is very small, like a sake cup, and the indentation looks like it holds less than an ounce of liquid.



I try the drink, which is a clear liquid, pleasantly bright and floral in taste, in flavor a bit like St. Germain but lighter-bodied and not so cloyingly sweet. I complement the bartender and ask what it is made of. "Catfish liqueur," she replies. I'm impressed! I wouldn't have guessed, as the taste was not the least bit fishy. Another girl asks how the drink is made, and narrates as the bartender shows her: "So you mix it with that blue stuff, then top with..." I look at the bottle she's indicating. It is a gallon-sized jug made of translucent plastic containing a clear liquid. It reminds me of those extra-large bottles of Heinz white vinegar, but the shape of the bottle is more like that typically used for laundry detergent. There is a graphic of naturalistic forest trees on the front of the bottle which makes it resemble the cover of a nature magazine. The brand name clearly reads: "Gesuckt." From the name I assume it is a foreign import, probably German, and wonder if I can buy it at any of my usual grocery stores.

My earlier thought about "fishiness" has now taken the form of a chunk of sardine or mackerel that I discover lodged between my gum and upper lip. I reason that it must have come from a dish I ate during the meal earlier. I prod it out with my tongue and finish chewing it. Meanwhile I'm walking away from the bar toward the restaurant area. There are a lot of people in the room, which reminds me—hey! I could try the TOTM again, see if I can do it properly this time.

"Freeze!" I say loudly, but people keep going about their business. I remember the difficulty I had with this last time, and it also reminds me that I'm supposed to be stopping time, so I switch wording. "Time stop!" I command. I say it a few times, still not getting much result, so I decide an explanation is needed, addressing the room in a loud voice so that everyone can hear. "I said 'time stop!' That means everybody stops moving. Time stop! Time stop, everybody!"

I look around and find that everyone has frozen in place. Okay, this is better, I seem to have gotten the point across. Now I'm supposed to put someone in an embarassing position. I didn't plan ahead for this, so I'm going to have to come up with an idea on the fly. My gaze falls on a stout old lady in the middle of the room. I walk over and unbutton her light blue jacket and white blouse. Inside, she's wearing a pink bra, and I'm relieved to see that it has a front closure, so I unhook it and reveal her breasts. I hope I'm not being too mean, but remind myself that it's just a dream so there will be no lasting harm.

Now I have to get everyone moving again. What's the opposite of "time stop"? I try some variants: "Uhhh... go. Start. Start moving." This works, but meanwhile I had taken my eyes off the old lady to check whether everyone else was back in motion, and when I look at her again, her clothes are already back in order and no one is reacting as if they had seen anything unusual. I chide myself for not paying closer attention. I'd better try again.

"Time stop! Time stop!" This time the DCs react much more promptly, like they're getting the hang of it. Okay, what should I do this time? I look around for ideas. Among a group of people in one corner are two meathead-looking guys. I go over and start posing them really close together, much closer than a couple of straight men would normally be comfortable with. As I move and angle their bodies, I notice that it doesn't feel so much like time has stopped as that they are just playing along while I reposition them, and there's some difficulty, maybe even slight resistance, as I lean their faces together as though they were about to kiss. Finally I get it just how I want, so that their lips are almost touching. Then I step back a few paces so that when I restart time, I'll have a clear view of both their reactions and the people around them.

This time I restart the scene with more confidence, like I'm getting the hang of this too. "Okay, renew!" I command, punctuating the signal by clapping the first two fingers of my right hand into the palm of my left. It feels like being a movie director.

I watch closely as people start moving again. I was hoping the two guys would either react with comic embarrassment or, even better, be overcome by a latent attraction and really start kissing. Instead, they simply draw away from one another without any expression or commentary, and no one around them takes any visible notice. I'm disappointed with the blasé behavior of all these DCs, but I have to admit it makes sense: they're projections of my own mind, after all, and I'm fairly blasé myself most of the time.

Observing a dog walking through the room, I momentarily wonder if I should try again, but the lackluster reactions of the DCs has sapped my motivation, and I feel that I have adequately performed the TOTM. I wonder if I should wake up and write... but the dream seems stable, and I'm reluctant to end it earlier than I have to. However, I'm aware how easy it is to start forgetting the details if I don't record them promptly, so I do the next best thing and start verbally recounting my memories of the scene, to help fix them in mind for later. As I'm doing this I end up waking anyway.

Interlude: From 6:30 to 7:15am I record my notes and then return to bed, going to sleep with no further techniques. I wake up at 8:30am from another DILD.

DILD, "Sphere": The plot has been going on for a while but I don't remember much detail from before I become lucid. I'm sitting on the toilet in the bathroom of a house that belongs to a male friend I've been hanging out with for most of the dream [!WL]. I feel guilty when I notice that I've almost used up all his toilet paper. I tell myself that I should really stop giving into the urge to use the bathroom when I'm dreaming. This isn't waking life, where it actually makes sense to go if you feel like you have to. In a dream it's completely pointless, a waste of time, and kind of gross. If I'm doing this, it's because I'm too caught up in the idea of a physical body. I'm reminded of something Sageous wrote in the forum, how he doesn't really have a body in dreams anymore. I should work on getting less attached to mine.



I get up and go over to the bathroom sink, studying my reflection in the mirror. It's actually a close resemblance, as far as I can tell through the mask that covers most of my features. The mask is reminiscent of the one worn by Michio Ito in his 1915 "Fox Dance," though mine lacks the long snout and doesn't cover my mouth. Also my eyes are clearly visible through the sockets. The fact that I am wearing a mask does not strike me as odd, and instead I ponder what to do about my body. I don't think I can eliminate the idea of it all at once, so it might be best to proceed in stages. What's the most radical distortion I can think of? I know! I'll become a sphere.

I keep watching my reflection as my face starts swelling and widening. It looks disturbing at first, like obesity or an illness, and I have to focus on making my whole body expand, not just my face. Not only can I witness this happening in the mirror, I can actually feel it. As I become rounder and rounder, I remind myself that there is no reason a sphere should only see out of two frontally positioned eyes. I should try to expand my concept of vision to include the area behind me. This only partly works: I'm now getting visual feed from what seems like the opposite side of my sphere, and can perceive the rim of the tub and a bit of the floor and shower curtain, all very close up. However in the process I lose my frontal vision, and as I try to experience both visual fields at once I become disoriented and start rotating in place, which makes sense given that I'm a sphere with nothing to stand on anymore. The disorientation gets so bad that I'm afraid it might disrupt the dream, so I let my body snap back to its familiar structure, satisfied that I had a reasonable success for my first try.

I look back in the mirror to check my appearance again. My reflection looks like it did before, and I'm still convinced that it is just like waking life—although in retrospect I realize that my dream-self had a brunette bob rather than the shoulder-length brown hair of WL. I'm still wearing the mask and want to look at the face underneath, so I take it off. There are more layers of mask under the first, and I peel them off one by one, until I'm finally just wearing glasses, and take those off too. Finally my face is uncovered, and I am satisfied that it is a good likeness. I notice an unusual vividness to my eyes, which are sparkling and happy, and I am pleased with my appearance.

Stepping outside, I realize that I'm still carrying my glasses. Should I just throw them away? I feel a natural reluctance, but remind myself that it's a dream, it doesn't matter. Then I reason that I might want to use them later: this could be a good trick to improve focus if the dream gets hazy. Sure, I could always manifest a fresh pair, but that will be easier if I condition my expectations by saving these now. So I slip the glasses into my jacket pocket.

What should I do now? I'm in a great mood and have no particular task in mind, so I decide to explore the dream world. Perched alone on a grassy hillside I see a strange building, very gaudy, with red roofs under a gold dome: it looks like a cross between an old McDonald's and a sultan's palace. I realize it is a restaurant of some kind and head over there.

I'm still feeling unusually happy and excited as I walk in, so I pump my fist and go "Woo!" My enthusiasm has been making the people around me more friendly, I notice, and remind myself that I should try to be more like this in WL. The restaurant is small inside, like a cafe, with a several tables and a counter where I go up to order. Despite the counter it is not a fast food restaurant: the menu consists of about six innovative dishes printed on a small square of white paper.

"What's the tastiest thing on the menu?" I ask, then realize I have a craving for spicy food and ask, "I mean the tastiest spicy dish."

"The D-4," replies the server. I check the menu and the description lists this as a big steak dish, which sounds too heavy and will take forever to prepare, so I look at the appetizers instead. There are only three listed, but two of them sound like they consist of just three pieces of fish, served nigiri sushi style. The fish that interests me looks like langoustine, but with the soft, ribbed texture of monkfish. The server tries to warn me that it's a very small dish, but I say, "I know. It looks like someone has already left one here," pointing to the piece sitting on the menu.

I put in my order and take a place at a small table, then get up to think this over. Can I really commit valuable dream time to sitting down for a whole meal, even a small one? Shouldn't I be doing something more productive? Maybe I should just leave. But I consider that the experience might be interesting, and I can even try to combine it with a task—the circumstances are ideal to work on summoning, something I've always struggled with.

I walk back over and tell the server, "Actually, I'm here to meet somebody." I pull out my phone, wondering who to call among the characters I've tried (unsuccessfully) to summon over the years. But then I notice that someone is already sitting at my table, so I go over to see who it is. I've never seen this guy before: he looks like he's in his twenties, with straight, mousy-brown hair and thin, very pointed features.

"Hi, are you here to meet me?" He nods.

Okay, I think, rolling with the circumstances, this could work. I'll meet someone new, like a blind date. "What's your name?" I inquire.

"I'm Denny, a crass ass." He looks bashfully down at the table.

This odd term rings a bell. Didn't I, much earlier in the dream, long before I got lucid, meet a guy named Paul who used the exact same term for himself? What an oddity; I don't think I've ever heard that term in life. What could it mean?

"Did you say, 'a crass ass'?" I ask, enunciating clearly. The young man nods.

"Why would you call yourself that?" I am genuinely mystified.

"It's what my friends call me."

Unfortunately I woke up before I could find out anything more!

Bedtime: 12:20

Well, I guess bedtime doesn't determine everything.

It started off with some dream about driving and walking through an urban area trying to get my cousins to a baseball game.

Somehow or other, I wound up in what felt like the woods behind my neighborhood. It was tropical though, and everything was green. The dream was very clear despite being nonlucid. I was showing them houses that had been overgrown and abandoned many years ago. We were talking about how we would have liked to live in them in their prime.

We came to this one house, a huge four story mansion. (Or the frame of one anyway) A massive tree, about 20 feet in diameter and easily 500 feet tall had cleaved the entire frame in half, leaving only two smaller sections standing. Myself and the party of DCs (there were two or three of us total.) were hypothesizing about how the middle must have once looked.

We made our way around back, climbing over fallen trees. We saw that a river ran along the back of the house. There were waterfalls flowing from the cliff-side into the river.

"How cool would it be to live with 3...4 waterfalls in your backyard?!"

I then made an observation of some of the tropical flora. There were fern trees all around us.

This for one reason or another made me become lucid.

I stabilized briefly. I then decided that I wanted to go and see my subconscious and tell him/her/it that I wanted more lucid dreams. I shouted "I want to see my subconscious right now!"

I saw that there was a small double door between two large boulders on the forest floor. The two DCs that I was with walked through it.

I opened the door after them. It was nothing but blackness. I let myself fall in. I fell for awhile before arriving at this location suspended in the blackness.

There was a throne chair with a small child sitting in it. Built up around us was the back wall of the throne room, made out of castle stones, and the floor, made up of tiles. This crumbled away about a hundred feet from the chair in every direction, as if this one slice of the castle had been removed from the rest and placed into this void.

The child (who I guess was supposed to be my subconscious) was wearing a red king robe, golden crown and had a long scepter. Though none of this quite fit him because he was so small.

There were a couple of guards in strange white armor positioned on either side of his throne. I think Manei and Marcus manifested into the room behind me. I could feel their energies.

SubC "I am your subconscious, and I am very busy! Each time you say something to me, it's gonna cost you [some kind of special money]. You have 1,800 of it. Go!"

Me "How come so many of my efforts to lucid dream fail?"

1,750

SubC "Because you didn't do the work I gave to you. Remember Jonathan? Why is he not dead?"

Me "I did the right thing. He said that he wanted to go peacefully, so me and Manei agreed to let him go."

1,625

SubC "But that wasn't what you were supposed to do!" His tone of voice started to sound a bit whiny at this point.

Manei "If there is one thing [my name was garbled] taught me, it's that you shouldn't let other people decide who you are. You should [follow your own path or something.]

I saw that Manei had some kind of money counter for talking to this guy too. She only had about 600 of it. Marcus had no money and therefore wasn't allowed to speak.

SubC "What? You're taking his side?"

Manei (mad) "I wish I was never on your side to begin with."

SubC "Guards, show of force."

Me "Look at you. You try to control people and [mold them into what you want or something.] And when they start rebelling against you, you threaten them. [If you want people to respect you, you have to earn that respect, not force it out of them or something.]" (My ability to recall dialogue is horrible.)

1,333

SubC "Stop it! Stop it! It's not true! Guards, Seize them!" (He started sounding more and more like a whiny child.)

The two guards began to advance on me. The dream started to fade. I saw my 'money' was starting to tick down.

Me: "The way you choose to remove me from your presence rather than learn from me proves just how weak and immature you really are. When you [grow up a little], you will see that I was right about everything. I see no way we can come to an agreement if you are going to act like this."

545

The dream cut to black here. I had an FA, but somehow still remained semi lucid. I was on the steps of one of the dorm complexes at my college.

Spoiler for Sexy Toys:

There was a huge blue dildo toy. There was a bottle on the back end of it that you could fill with whatever liquid you wanted, then squeeze it and it would squirt out the front. It was also covered in this soft fabric.

I was trying to hide this object because I didn't want anyone to know that I dreamed about it. I was also thinking about how I was going to describe this scene when I woke up and started writing about it in my DJ. Dang partial lucidity.

At one point I tried to throw it away, but it wouldn't fit in the trash can. It seemed to be continually growing. Eventually it started getting so heavy that I couldn't carry it.

There was also a part where I dreamed that I was trying to send one of my cats away in a cardboard box that would float like a boat on a lake. I felt like the lake we were at had taken the place of my old middle school.

Interpretations:

I really don't know what to make of this. I don't know why my subconscious was so childlike and closed-minded. He wanted things done a particular way, his way. He wanted no part of anyone else, and didn't want to earn their respect. (Sure, sounds like a much younger me, but I'm sure a lot of us acted that way as children since we simply didn't know any better.)

Morning of March 5, 2015. Thursday.



Johnny Cash sings in the background, sounding somewhat distant yet somehow close at the same time, like an old anachronistic Buick with a loudspeaker atop following me from perhaps a block away. “I ride an old paint, I lead an old Dan, I’m off to Montan’ for to throw the hooley-ann.” The voice is somewhat familiar in a different way, somewhat melancholy, the nature of the “reality” of this deserted 1800s half-defined world. Not much to look at but a pale brick wall in the late evening, a wall that flows past me as I ride a weird clay-like bay roan horse into an eerily empty town. Or so it seems. There are only a few men in the streets of the town, as it is so late at night. Is this Laredo? “I spied a young cowboy all wrapped in white linen, wrapped in white linen as cold as the clay…” (As cold as a clay horse?)

However, without explanation, without a backstory, without even a false memory to build a nonsensical foundation to explain my location and direction, I find myself riding Pokey into an old western town. My clay horse will not behave. His mouth grows and “roars” like the “roaring worm” from “Eraserhead”. Johnny Cash’s singing remains a statement of fact in the background. These cowboys cannot live here. My horse will swallow them.

Eraserhorse will eat everyone eventually, and I cannot do much to stop him.

---

This dream utilizes coalescence waking symbolism, a type of waking symbolism where the dream self or other dream features are rendered as being metaphorically “swallowed” into waking consciousness.

---

I confess that I was never a fan of “Gumby” and went out of my way to avoid it whenever I could, even as a child. I found it over-the-top irritating. It was like a trend in society to force children to watch certain things as a form of punishment - and many forms of “entertainment” still seem as such.

---

Friday 20/2/15
Meditating on my third eye I fail asleep and noticed my dream body entering a building through a slightly opened door. The outside felt like a grave while the inside felt like a well lighted room. I had the consciousness of leaving a friend behind, in the grave into the room and the feeling of guilt made me went back to the grave and I felt an unbearable pressure of the gravestone against my body, and I could think of nothing but to wake up and I deed woke up. I will bear this pressure next time to see it end.

Thursday 26/2/2015
I felt my consciousness sinking down from my feet with my brain as the pivot point. I felt that all my consciousness has left my body except that of the brain. It felt as if I had two brains, my real brain and my consciousness brain (dream body brain). I was afraid of the sensation because it felt real and powerful and this made me indecisive. I did found myself in an unknown place filed with people running to some place important to them. The dream was blurry, but I was still lucid. So I stopped one of the boys with my two hands and looked at him directly into his face, he was reluctant to look back at me. I asked him aggressively “where am I” several times and he replied “you are in Ifitedunu (my village)” pointing towards the main road while telling me that if I get to the road I should be able to board a bus that will take me to Awka (the capital of my state). And I left him and headed to the main road. On getting to main road I took left and as I was walking down the road I lost the dream and woke up. I believe that fear took away my focus and my focus is my dream goal which is meditation.

#418 - MILD - 5:13AM

Coffee (Caffeine) 2tbsp brewed. 4tbsp sugar and about 1/8 cup milk
I wake about 3:45am from a vivid dream and decide it's too close to my 4:00AM alarm to go back to sleep so I go ahead and get up just long enough to drink my coffee. I return to bed thinking about the dream I just had and what it would have been like if I had become lucid. I quickly drop into sleep.


I wake my daughters up to get ready for school. There is some conversation and I randomly climb out a window in a hallway. The house is a two story and I come out on a low part of the roof. I am trapped because a woman who looks like Michonne in a Sonic uniform is on a ladder that is some how blocking my exit. I tap her on the lag and politely ask her to move. She tells me to hold on so I just find away to squeeze past. As I climb down off the roof I tell the woman and her associate that I am leaving for work so if they have any questions ask my wife. I tell them to just call for Janice (That's my mom's name... awkward.) I feel like this isn't the right name so I start to tell them they can just call for Mrs. Coon but I stop myself because they might thing I am trying to make an inappropriate joke. I wonder why they are here and what they are working on. Oh they must be installing tile. On the roof? Maybe it's something else.

I as I drop down I land inside the house. There is a ladder on a wall that is made of tape measure. I fiddle with it noting how flimsy it is. I decide it probably won't hold my weight so I leave it alone. I remember that I should be getting to work so I check the time on my cell phone in my pocket. 11:25am. Wow I am really late!

I look up and find myself at work. Robert M. is saying something about taking a half day vacation then says he better clock in. I think it's a little late for half day so I check the time again. 10:10AM. I become confused about the time and decide I better just clock in. I start typing my employee number and pause as I recall how I was just in my 'house' and suddenly I am at work. Then there's the time thing...Then, it finally dawns on me. I must be dreaming. I feel a wry smile come on my face and I step away from the computer. The dream collapses at this point, but I manage to get things back in order by focusing on what I should be seeing. Things are a bit unstable now but I think I can work with it.

I wonder about goals, but when I see a bulletin board I think I should try reading it. I do my best read out loud the wobbly and changing words. [something][something] on a cob. That make absolutely no sense. Now the dream is really unstable so I try rubbing my hands then the carpet. I notice it has a red and gold pattern.

Things get a bit more stable so I decide to walk outside while still rubbing my hands. I can't help but feel that I am literally holding the dream together by pure concentration. I tell myself there is plenty of time and I should relax. I feel my shoulders drop a bit and become at ease. Because of this the dram instantly fades away. I try DEILD with the phase method, but I am too wide awake. I decide to spend some time meditating before I get up.

I found myself being hold down by these colorful drawings of people. They were making something and one of the stick looking figures made me eat a brown looking pint size pill. After swallowing it the stick figure push me through a painting and I then found myself in my mother room. I began to feel very odd, my body was beginning to shake uncontrollably. My eye site became distorted. I tried putting on glasses to see if they would return normal but I quickly notice that I was seeing better without glasses for once. My head soon began pounding to where I being held against the top of the ceiling by an unknown force. Though it all stop once I look through the large window. It was completely covered in thick fog. I knew exactly what this meant and I race downstairs to see my brother and mom about to close the door. I told them let me go outside. I open the back door and saw how clear and wide spread the landscape was from the clouds. I yelled yes, and close the door. My mother ask me who am I? I chuckle batman.

I had a great lucid dream this morning. I had awakened at 3:30 and was having trouble going back to sleep. I thought about trying to do a WILD, and I even starting counting and relaxing, but after a while it seemed obvious that I wasn't tired enough. The last time I looked at the clock was 6:30, and I felt myself start to drift off to sleep (this is one of the few mornings I can sleep in like this).

Dream:

I found myself looking into a mirror. I wasn't happy with what I was seeing. My stomach was all deformed and hanging really weird (it looked a lot like the stomachs of people who have lost huge amounts of weight and the skin just flops and hangs). I was trying to figure out what could have happened for my stomach to look like this. Then suddenly it hits me. The mirror. I always look different in dream mirrors. I must be dreaming.

Yes! I was finally lucid dreaming again.

I already knew what I wanted to do. So much to do...

The first thing I decided to do was to practice being Poet Anderson. I found that I was upstairs in a house that was supposed to be mine, but in retrospect, I am totally unfamiliar with it. It has never been in my dreams before. I ran out of the bedroom and saw Jeff who was just coming in. I shouted out, "Can't talk now...I'm dreaming!" I leapt down the staircase without touching a single step, and out the front door.

I was Poet Anderson. I ran until I came to a high retaining wall and flew over it and down to the street below. I jumped up again and landed one knee, pulling my gun. I totally had this. I was feeling one with Poet.

Then, the unthinkable happened. I felt myself wake up. I couldn't believe the dream was over when it had barely just begun.

I found myself talking to Daniel. I was telling him about my lucid dream. I lamented with him because he had told me how in recent lucid dreams he had been having he had been walking up too soon as well....only to find out later that it was only a false awakening. I had told him (in a recent real life conversation) that he just needed to get into the habit of always doing a reality check each time he thought he woke up.

Somewhere in the middle of this conversation with him. I realized that there was a good chance that I had just had a FA. And as soon as I thought that I knew I was still dreaming. I was excited and told Daniel that we were lucid dreaming. I said, "Let's do finger lasers." There was a poster on the wall, and we pointed our fingers at the posters. I expected to see a laser light come out of my finger. But I didn't see anything. I concentrated harder. I felt like I could hear a faint hum. I looked again at the poster we were pointing at. I could see little lines starting to burn across the paper. I felt satisfied. Even though I could never see the laser, I knew we had been able to create them because I could see the damage they were doing.

At this point I remembered I wasn't done being Poet. I ran outside again and practiced leaping about and drawing my gun. I noticed at one point that I didn't actually have a gun. But I figured it was okay. I would work on that detail later. Right now I wanted to be comfortable with the moves. I also tired to practice making myself transform, like he does in the film, when the Night Terror comes and the black wraps around his body. I couldn't quite get that right. The best I could do was turn my arms a black color. I wasn't too worried about that either. There was time for special effects later. Right now I wanted to make sure I was fast and agile.

After doing this for some time, I decided that my dream was going to last long enough to do a Task of the Month. I thought I would start with the easiest one--walk into a random house and sescribe what was inside.

I now found myself next to some apartments. I saw a door near me on the ground floor. For a second I felt a little timid. But I told myself that it was just a dream and that it didn't matter. So I turned the doorknob and boldly walked through the door. I found myself in a small living room. There were several couches that were full of people....several older Navajo women and quite a few children. One of the ladies saw me and good naturedly joked how surprised I must be about walking into a house full of brown children. But I decided to act like it was no mistake at all. I smiled and , "Hi, how are all of you doing.?" And I smiled down at one of the children that was standing near me and asked her a question. I was able to put everyone at ease. We talked a few minutes. I don't remember details of the conversation. But by the time I left, we all felt happy.

I then found myself in what looked like an alley. There were more doors in a building next to me. I decided to do this again. This time as I opened the door I found myself in an old motel room. in front of me sitting on the edge of a bed was woman who looked to be in her 60s and was either Navajo or Mexican. She was smoking something. I tried to talk to her, but I soon saw that she was totally out of it. She never made eye contact or responded to me in any way. She looked quite messed up. I also noticed that there was some kind of white plastic thing in one of her nostrils.

I kind of got the creeps just being with her, and I knew that we wouldn't be having any sort of conversation, so I left.

This time I saw that I was walking through storage units. I kept walking and found myself in what looked like an outdoor mall. I suddenly remembered that I wanted to find a radio so I could listen to new Angels and Airwaves music. There was junk laying about everywhere, but I couldn't find a radio. I could see people walking around, so I shouted, "Will somebody please turn on a radio!"

And at that I heard a radio go on. But I was just hearing voices. I figured that after the talking they would play a song. I walked on.

I then found myself inside of a very large sports store. There were bikes hanging from the ceiling. The ceiling was 3-4 stories high, so there were a lot of bikes hanging. I jumped up and hung from one of the lower bikes. While I was hanging I looked over and saw this black guy who looked to be in his late 20's. He looked at me with a little smile and said, "Let me show you how this is done." and he jumped up and grabbed a bike and then proceeded to start climbing the bikes. I got quite excited at this little challenge. I knew he had no idea who I was, and that I was going to beat him miserably. Haha...this was going to be great. I then pulled myself up with ease to the next bike. I looked over and he was slowly but quite steadily moving his way up. I was impressed. SO I picked up my pace. I started moving up the bikes so fast that I was barely gripping them. I was mostly just gliding my way up. The ceiling, I noticed was higher and there was further to climb than I had originally thought. I continued to climb. I then looked over and the guy had almost been able to keep up with me. I was only a little faster. Finally I got to the top and grinned at the guy just below me. Now I was going to show him who I was. At that, I let go and jumped all the way down (at least 5 stories). I landed confidently and took off running out of the store.

I remembered that I hadn't heard the radio. I saw that I was still in what looked like a cluttered outdoor mall. I still couldn't find a radio. So I shouted, "Does anyone here have a radio with them?"

I suddenly saw Emily, she was pulling a small radio out of her pocket. I said, "Yes, Emily!" And promptly woke up. And this time I really was awake.

It was 7:03.

I am outside in a nice wooded area, there is a large clearing with a nursing home? in the distance. I am talking to my oldest friend. We are discussing going to the Grateful Dead reunion shows this summer in Chicago. I am unhappy because I didn't get tickets. I tell him I think that I can get tickets but then will have a transportation and accommodations problem. He tells me that he has done this before, he just caught a plane to Chicago and then took a taxi to the shows and back. I say "You seriously just took a taxi from the airport to Soldier Field and back, even after the show with traffic??" "YES!" he replies, "It was easy!" I find this difficult to believe.
The conversation topic changes to something about dogs. At that moment my brother comes up on the sidewalk to our right, he is walking a dog. We greet him and he walks on by, without stopping to talk. I find this a bit strange and mention it to my friend.
Next I am driving in a car away from the place where I was talking to my friend. I am driving a beat up blue Astro van. I am driving on a wooded road up a rather steep hill. The trees around me are all without leaves. The road turns around a corner and there is a fork, with the turn to the right leading downward, and the turn to the left leading up another hill. I take the left turn and go up the hill, a drive along the wooded road continues.
I go up and around a corner and the road turns sharply down. I am worried that if I follow the road I will be unable to get the old van back up the hill. I go down anyways. I can see that there are piles of logs blocking the road in several places. I go around or pass through them. At the bottom of the hill I can see a fence and what appears to be a neighborhood beyond it. I make it down to the bottom of the hill. Next I am outside of the van looking at the fence.
I turn around and the van is gone, there is a dilapidated but once beautiful house situated in the middle of the road. I decide it must be park headquarters, but it is obviously abandoned. I decide i will enter, thinking to myself "It will probably be pretty scary inside." I walk up onto the porch and notice there is a light on inside through one of the windows. I enter the house. I immediately realize that I am dreaming. Upon realizing this, I float up to the ceiling. The interior of the house is in good repair. The walls are white and there is very beautiful dark woodwork all around. I can see down the hallway I am in, there are several rooms branching off on both sides. There are tables with papers and boxes on them pushed up against the walls. I think that I should remain calm. The hallway starts to blur. I clap my hands twice and everything becomes vivid and very clearly defined. I rub my hands together. I try to think about what I should do, but I have difficulty thinking of what to do next. I decide I will explore the house by entering the room on my right. The dream starts to fade and I wake up.

1. I was inside of a house that had many rooms with my friends. All of the lights were off in this house, but it was day light outside so I could still see everything perfectly well. I was walking down a hallway with all of my friends when I suddenly saw my friend Joseph's brother, Josh, laying down in a sort of hybrid of a crib and a bed. At the end of this hallway, there was a room. The door to this room was open. Being curious, I walked into the room. Immediately as I walked into the room I became lucid. Now my awareness has jumped up significantly and I look around.
Everything feels so real. My friends that were following me before did not enter the room with me. I seemed to be all alone. Suddenly, a girl walks around the corner of the room I am in, and comes up to me. She looks me in the eyes. She has long brown hair, gorgeous eyes, and is just beautiful all around. Neither of us talk. The moment feels so magical in a way, and I got the vibe off of this girl that she wasn't like the other DC's. She appeared way more intelligent.
We draw closer to each other and start kissing. Wow. It feels just like waking life. "Who is this girl?" I think to myself. Still, neither of us talk. She takes my hand and leads me to a chair in the opposite corner of the room. I then sit down in this white threaded chair and she sits on my lap. I can feel the sexual energy intensifying fast. We start making out again and this time I take it further. I grab her ass, and as we continue kissing I slowly move my hand down to her vagina. I can feel everything pretty easily because this girl is wearing yoga pants. Now I am positive that there is something really different about her.
Suddenly, my friends walk in and we halt our make-out session. She gets up off of me, and I stand up. My friends seem to have no idea of what just happened. "You guys better find a place to sleep. All of the beds are being taken up fast" one of them tells me. I then walk out of the room and down the hallway to look for an open room. The girl follows me. There's something unusual that I notice though. As I walk deeper down the hallway, everything starts getting darker and now a blue glow starts to become apparent on everything.
I start to feel a very strong negative, evil vibe. It feels really creepy. I see a room with its door open, and nobody is in it. "I'm going to take this room right here guys" I tell everyone. One of my friends yells back, "No don't, that room belongs to the demons". Woah. I stopped in my tracks. Now the negative vibe has intensified and I feel like someone is watching me. I look around but there is nothing to be seen except for my friends and the girl with me. My intuition tells me that I should probably get away from the area I am in, so I turn around and walk back.
I am stunned. All sorts of questions were running through my mind. The girl takes my hand and we walk together back down the hall. Suddenly a small white dog comes down the hallway and he has a white blanket in his mouth. I then start looking for a blanket myself since there aren't any beds left.
I get too much into my head(thinking, trying to analyze what could be in the empty room) and it brings back the feeling of my body and wakes me up.

2. I am in school on the second floor, walking through the hallways. All of the lights are on and everyone appears to be in class. I am alone in the hallways. Suddenly, the bell signifying that class has ended rings, and students come pouring out of every class. The hallways quickly become packed and over crowded with people. I keep walking nonetheless. In front of me I see two guys that look my age and they appear to be in some sort of conflict with each other. One starts pushing the other, and I can tell that a fight is about to start.
I am the closet person to them so I have a front row seat to this fight. It occurs to me how odd it is that I am actually right up close to the fight, because I usually don't see fights in school up close. I am about to do a reality check when the guys start spicing things up a bit. Each one puts their fists up and get ready. One guy then proceeds to start swinging, and for some reason now, the other guy starts to coward down. "Please, come on, lets not fight!" he says while covering his face and backing up.
The other guy doesn't care. He keeps swinging and gets closer to him. Suddenly my teacher Mrs. Pair walks out of a classroom that she usually isn't in, and tries to stop the fight. Before she can, the guy that wanted to stop the fight goes over to the ledge of the second floor and jumps over. At this point, all of the students in the school have been crowded around me since the start of the fight. I can hear girls scream as the guy that jumped over the ledge hits the ground.
I decide that I don't want to be here any longer, so I walk down the stairs to the first floor. I walk over to the main gym. Inside of the gym, the lights are off. I see my friend Trey, so I walk over to where he is and I sit down next to him. He has his pink vape with him. "What's up Trey?" I ask. "Not much Cory" he says. He then juices up his vape and starts vaping. After he takes a few hits, he passes the vape to me and I start hitting it.
Suddenly my friend Gabby walks into the gym. She sees me and comes over to where me and Trey are. "Hey Cory" she says. "Hey" I reply, "Wanna take a hit?" I ask. "No thanks" she says, "I don't do that kind of stuff". She then sits down next to me and we start talking. At the same time, there is a big projector screen in the middle of the gym and it is playing a video. There are alot more students around the entire gym, especially in front of the projector screen, but me, Trey, and Gabby are pretty secluded at this time.

Ritual: WTB 12:30am, woke ~6am and set vibrating alarm for 40 minutes. I don't have a clear memory of it going off the first time (~6:40). The second time it went off (~7:20) I seem to have experienced it entirely within the dream state. My lucidity lapsed shortly thereafter but came back when I noticed that the circumstances were suitable for one of the TOTMs. I must have dreamed for about ten minutes after the alarm went off the second time, waking at ~7:30 with 29 minutes left on the alarm going into its third 40 minute cycle.

NLD: I was on a bus traveling through a desert. Looking out the window, I saw an enormous lizard resembling an early-model godzilla. [DR: an image of a similar godzilla was shown briefly John Oliver's show on Sunday night.] It didn't look real, because on closer inspection its "skin" was wrinkled and rippling like that of inflatable parade float rather than a living creature. I concluded that it must be a world boss and looked away. Even though it was so much larger than me and very far off, I was afraid that my scrutiny might draw its attention, and I was not equipped to battle it without a raid.

Our destination was a cave, which was pleasantly cool and dark after the burning light and heat of the desert outside. I passed through the large front cavern through a door labeled "Imagemakers" that led into a back room. These "imagemakers" were literally cave painters, a studio full of artists each doing individual murals on the walls, but in a modern, Asian-inspired style. [DR: One painting seemed reminiscent of Toshio Aoki's Thunder Kami (1900), which I was looking at yesterday.]

I comment to one of the artists how pleasantly cool it is here in the back room. She replies, "It's only 25, if you're not careful you might freeze." [DR? I had reviewed the TOTMs before bed and my notes used the word "freeze," which also ended up being the task I attempted later in the same dream.] I assume she means Celsius because it's not that cold in here, and try to remember what that would be in Fahrenheit—72 or so? I point out to her that when I start to feel cold I can just put on more clothes. Outside in the heat, there was nothing I could do, so this is preferable.

EILD-FA: I feel the vibrating alarm and "wake up," or so I believe, though it retrospect it was obviously an FA because I was in a room with no resemblance to WL. I am sitting in bed reading a book, and after I feel the vibration I remember not to move at first, lest I break REMA. As I start to feel more confident in my dream senses, I venture to turn the page of the book. Slowly I expand my range of motion until I'm sure that I'm not going to disrupt the dream. The plot of the previous dream continues (insofar as it has any continuity, which isn't much) and I soon lose what little lucidity the alarm had prompted.

NLD: Now everyone's talking about a bride who is coming, also on a bus, and someone instructs me to go to a counter to buy a present for her, "a small dog." I had envisioned a tiny dog that was only a few inches long, but the two available at the counter aren't small by any reckoning; they must weigh 40 or 50 pounds. The clerk asks me what I want the dog to be able to do. I think this over, rationalizing that it is a gift to someone who might not be expecting it, so it would be best if it isn't too high maintenance. "Ummm.... sleep a lot?" is my first suggestion. I try to think of other possibilities. "Stand up? Lick? Can they do that?" The clerk looks at me and answers in a tone that suggests he thinks I am an idiot, "Yeah, they can all do that."

While I'm deliberating someone has come up and bought one of the two dogs, so I'm stuck with the one that is left. I think it's really ugly, with shaggy beige fur, and I hope the bride likes it or I'll be stuck with it. At least the dog has a good personality, friendly and responsive, nuzzling up to me like it wants to be liked. I go to another room and start talking with two girls. Suddenly the dog starts humping the floor, which embarrasses me. "I hope he doesn't do that around her," I say, meaning the bride. One of the girls laughts comments that the way she's been carrying on with her new husband, she probably won't be offended.

DILD: As the conversation continues, I suddenly notice: hey, I'm in a room with DCs, this would be a perfect opportunity to try the "freeze" TOTM. I mean, okay, there's only two of them, but we are in a room, so that should qualify as a "roomful."

"Freeze!" I say suddenly, interrupting whatever else we were talking about. The girls stare at me with looks that say "WTF." They're still moving normally, so I issue the command again, attempting to focus my will by tensing my body. That doesn't work either, and I realize that I have the wrong approach. I need to be focusing my mind, not my body. "Freeeeeze," I say cajolingly, drawing out the word. At this point they do stop moving, but I have the impression that they're just playing along. I decide to try the narration technique. "Your body feels so heavy, you can't move. You're paralyzed, like when you sleep." That reminds me, of course we're not completely paralyzed when we sleep, and I'd better not kill them by overdoing it. I hastily add, "You can breathe, of course, just like when you're sleeping."

The girls seem to be complying now, so I study them closely to be sure. I also remember that I should take conscious note of their names, which I had instinctively known earlier in the dream but had almost forgotten on going lucid. The smaller one on the left, with the dark hair... I think back and all I can come up with is "Calm." It sounds odd, but that's the only name that I remember for her. The plumper girl on the right, a blonde, I know for sure is called "Amy."

The smaller girl seems completely comatose now. I lift her arm and drop it, and it falls with satisfying limpness. The larger girl is also lying still, but I get the impression she's just pretending: one of her arms is in a position that could only be maintained by exerting muscle control. I lift it and it is stiff in my grasp.

Then I realize I'm going about this all wrong. I try to remember the specifics of the TOTM. Was I just supposed to freeze them in place, or was there something about actually stopping time? I can't clearly remember the wording. I decide I'd better try the latter in any case, it might work better—and I won't have to worry about the girls accidentally suffocating if time itself has stopped.

"Freeze!" I shout, now indicating not only the two of them but the whole environment, with only myself as an exception. I find that the logical impossibility of this trouble me: if I continue moving normally, then in what sense can time itself be said to have stopped? It doesn't make any sense. I remind myself that this is a dream, and I'm not obliged to work out the physics of it. I look at Amy to see if my new strategy has resulted in any improvement. No, although she is lying quite still, and her arm looks properly limp now, she's actually tapping the fingers of one hand.

"Freeze!" I shout again, looking directly at her hand. Still tapping. "Freeze!" I yell, glaring at the hand. Tap... tap... tap. "Freeze!" I insist, mustering all my intent. The hand finally goes limp. It occurs to me that at some point I'm going to need to write all this up, and the thought wakes me.

Notes: I never did remember the second part of the TOTM, not just in the dream but even after waking up, recording my notes, and going about my day... but I had the feeling that there might have been more to it, that I left something out, and on coming home from work and checking the forum, I see that there was a whole second part of the task that I skipped!

-I was in a anime world with high school students i think. As we were walking through the school field a girl shouted something about the wind and how it was coming. The wind blew many of us back and one of the guys mentioned how he liked if the wind could blow me in his direction.But he also had a good feeling when the other girls were blown in his direction. The story continued with me watching a really hyper anime girl with green hair jumping around.

-The next thing that happened i don't really remember.But i have a feeling i was trying to find something and make sure the people in the place i was in were okay. I think i was in a mall/school with dream characters who were supposedly dreamers and we had to battle a monster but i'm not 100% sure.I also have the feeling that i did something wrong and was going to be punished for it.

-After that i appeared in the middle of a hill near my block. It was night time and i became aware that it was a dream but i was afraid someone would run to me and try to rape me because it was dark.So I ran into the wall of my old best friend's house. I ended up in a white narrow hallway and felt like i was in a secret place. But than the dream shifted and i wasn't lucid anymore.

I was now naked,standing in a bathtub filled with water, with two young little girls.(I think they were my daughters in the dream) Shocked by how much water was in the tub i wondered how this came to be. Than suddenly the water was up to my waist now. The littlest's head was covered in the water so i held her up.But than the water's height changed to all the way up to my mouth. I tried to get both the little girls to the open window way up on the wall. Than looked for a door since the water just kept rising.When i opened it the water fell out. I took both the little girls and walked to the living room. The house looked like a big Japanese style type of house. I was worried to go upstairs and tell my parents about how i flooded the house. Than a narrator voice came out saying "She was afraid to walk in the house with all the electrical wires that were now underwater."

I'm seeking a book, something that I think of as 'a way out.' To retrieve it I'm drifting through a cloud of abstracts that sometimes resolve themselves into words floating in the cloud. They're dream images, illusions, but grasping the illusionary versions of this book will gradually lead me to the real thing. But they're difficult to capture - it's like trying to scoop up something small floating on water, if you're not careful the water will carry it right out of your hand again. It takes patience and deliberation and allowing the words to drift into my grasp.

I take hold of one word, feeling the substance of it. This changes the images that are drifting around me - now they're closer to the subject of that word, closer to what I'm seeking, and many of them are in the form of books rather than individual words. I repeat this process, releasing the word I had a hold of and reaching for the first relevant image that drifts into my grasp, and every time I repeat this process there are less individual words and more books, and the images displayed on the covers of the books become more and more relevant.

Now many of the books show images of a demonic face, which is heading in the right direction, but which also has drawn attention. A man I'm familiar with begins speaking with me, a demon or something close enough - I've forgotten the content of this one-sided conversation except that it was about that book I'm searching for. Our surroundings have gotten more solid by this point, and as I move through the cloud I find wooden steps under my feet.

I come up the steps into a room full of books piled haphazardly on wooden tables. There's a young human woman here looking through the books - long dark hair, blue jeans and white t-shirt, I recognize her as someone who has a history with that demon I've been speaking with. Her name's Dawn. Their interactions are familiar but antagonistic - she once struggled with him and lost, though I'm not sure she's realized she's lost yet. In any case, she came to him to search for something, but she failed and became trapped in a dream. It seems she's still searching for whatever it is. I find that sad to watch. She looks at the demon as he climbs up the stairs behind me - or I assume she does; I haven't seen him, he's just a voice to me, but she's looking right through me and to the place I believe he would be. In annoyance at his presence, she moves to another stack of books, further away. The demon sounds amused as he calls to her.

It occurs to me as I watch her that I've been consciously thinking of this as a dream for some time now. Since it seems she can't see me, I decide to step aside and watch the two of them. I settle down on a white couch out of the way and allow my perspective to change slightly. I can see the demon now, and Dawn's appearance has changed as well, both of them now dressed from the late 1700s, France - their hairstyles and clothes are looking rough, as if they started out with a fine presentation but over time the polished image has fallen apart. He's struck up a conversation, and eventually she says to him, "The doctor warns that (something to do with a slow death), and my minutes are done." She sounds defiantly happy about this, as if it's a kind of victory over the demon.