lucid

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I’ll start in the middle, since I don’t quite know where this story began. Aislinge is not merely my name; it is the word I have chosen to describe what I am. A Gaelic word for “of dream”, though the root word aisling is also used as a female name -that is me, the girl of dreams. That is to say, I was not born female; I’ve had to learn how to conjure the experience through the magic of mind. There were other options, though I am not interested in merely changing my mortal body, instead I am working on a solution much greater. My mortal body will eventually grow old and die, but a fully realized being of the dream world can free themselves of this suffering. That is why I wish to begin a second life in that world and permanently become a part of the inner realities. Many would tell me this is impossible with current science, and they may be right, though I’ve decided long ago that if no one is going to give me the freedom then I will have to make it on my own. Even if it means evolving beyond the constraints of a human body and rewriting the apparent laws of physics, it is my dream, and I’m going to make it happen.

I lean back against the cold metal door of my house, lost in thought. My digital typewriter sits on my lap, the screen glowing ghostly green, eerily complimenting the bright light of a full moon. While wind on the lake roars in the distance, chills slither down my spine from the crisp air of winters eve. I pause to light my last cigarette, and have a sip of an ice cold cup of coffee. Their bitter earthy flavours shock my mind awake from that moment of surreal bliss. Soaking in the night with a deep breath of the serene country air, I drop the barely smoked butt in a makeshift flowerpot ashtray, and head inside to the guest room of the quiet old house. After silently opening the door, I step inside and slide my shoes off. Our large tomcat curiously watches the open door as I close it, looking for a way out, then trots off defiantly in a flash of black and white to his food dish like a spoiled teenager. I begin to tip-toe through the foreboding hallway towards my temporary bedroom, and pull the handle wincing as the hinges creak like a shrieking banshee. I shrug it off then stroll in to softly lay down on the royal blue futon and continue writing.

I have acquired some unique skills on my quest; one such ability allows me to dream while awake. I often use it to create hallucinations at will, either to simulate fantasies, or project my mind into the environment like a living ghost. I taught myself this so I would be able to emulate this female body into my perception, and it has worked exceptionally well. Although as of yet anyone watching will usually only see me go into a trance like state while I am focused on the fantasy. I wish to make myself perceivable, though so far I have only managed to learn how to describe the experience through language or illustration. That’s the main reason for writing this journal, so I can record these things in detail for further study.

It is getting late, though before I leave to go home for the night I’ll give an example of this phenomenon of mine. I’m still on the bed, lying in the dark room, with only the soft glowing display of the typewriter and the dim celestial bodies shimmering through the window. I close my eyes and feel my body changing shape. My jeans are growing loose as I shrink, tickling my smooth tender skin. While my hands become slender and slight I have to reach further to find the right keys. My shirt is now tighter around my gently curving breasts, and my underwear much more empty. I open my Inner eyes and see myself transformed, feeling my heartbeat rush and my cheeks blush. While lifting myself up to the edge of the bed, I notice the fabric weave of the futon vividly pushing into my soft palm. When I stand up my pants fall down, the boxers only held up by an elastic waistband. I walk to the door in floppy socks, and my hands are nearly covered by the long sleeves of my shirt. I open the door reaching a bit higher than usual, and head to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror.

The reflection shows me with long flowing black hair, ghostly pale skin, and bright green eyes. My chin is rounder, and lips fuller, grinning beneath a slightly crooked nose. Above my socks, my slender legs blend into wide hips, and although my shirt billows around my torso it curves over the top of my breasts. With slimmer shoulders the shirt puffs loosely to the sides, and my thinner neck allows the collar to rest lopsided. I begin to prepare myself for bed; polishing my pearly white teeth and washing my cute face, then return to my room exited for the journey home. I walk in through the open door and climb onto the bed, sitting cross-legged in front of the keyboard to catch up where I left off.

The home I refer to is the world I enter in sleep, as that is where I am in my element. The world outside my thoughts is not yet ready for me to fully exist, so I have learned how to live in my mind. After all, it is in the womb of dreams where fantasies come alive and so it is there I will nurture mine until I can be reborn as an Aislinge.

I will continue using this journal for detailing my nightly practice in dream magic, with the main goal being my feminine alter ego. My study will take the form of incubating a vivid dream life by fantasizing regularly before falling asleep. This is to focus my mind on the goal, and trigger dreams with related subject matter. When I wake I will record the nights experiences here, and the more I do my mind will get better at remembering other life.

The next step I am taking in this journey is to develop the skill of lucidity, which is the ability to realize the differences between the inner and outer world, and so know which I am in at a given time. To do this I will study the records of my alternative life and look for things that signify I am in the other world. When I realize that I am in a dream, and my physical body is asleep, I will use my abilities to take my true form. For in that world I can explore my fantasies freely, practicing the technique to perfection to prepare to take it further.

I fall back onto my pillow and stretch out my legs, then pull the down blanket over me. Sliding my hands beneath the cushion under my head I start to fantasize about the adventures the night may have waiting for me. I wonder if I have been already living this life in my dreams, and have been calling to myself to remember. In many of my occasional lucid dreams, I remember meeting my alter ego as though we are two souls in a single body. In fact she was the one who taught me how to dream while awake, appearing as a hallucination and beckoning me to join her. Perhaps she is my subconscious I reason, living in the world of my mind all this time, and coming forth to guide me into her world...

23:43 bedtime

23:47 ate WAY too much too late for dinner, arg, stupid! Getting up to do some reading.

00:00 Sunday 2013-11-17

02:45
F1) In a group of people their attention is focused on something, something was trying to get in between them from the steps above.

I get wild/wacky/random dreams a lot but this one takes the cake I think:

1) In a huge open field late at night, I'm standing under a tower, I'm concerned that if I climb it I'll be hit by lightning, I start climbing up its stairway, I get blown off the stairs by wind, I'm barely hanging on by one hand to the railing over the edge, I imagine if I fall someone will come across my dead body. I get back up and climb to the top, I step on a certain place and the entire tower collapses and falls to the ground, I'm falling with the tower, I'm trying to find temporary footholds to lessen my fall on the parts of the structure that are still together, there's a brief vision (1/2 a second) of Dwight Schrute from the Office's face looking up at me from below with a scared expression, shouting "NOOO!"
When I reach the ground I start running for my house. Still on giant wide open farmland. I have to reach my home before something reaches me. A voice says the mushroom bloodhounds are going to come from miles around. They're drawn to whatever happened. I'm running, I have a set of keys in my hand, there's a number written there, ("9988?"), I look around, during flashes of lightning I see that the entire horizon is filled with little creatures running towards me. The creatures are at my ankles, I reach a door with a number matching the key, I rush inside, some of these creatures (like cabbage-sized mushrooms with big bulging Mr. Potatohead huge bulging white eyes with big black pupils, the creatures are are squishy and juicy) are coming in through the door I try to pull the door closed, and get in through another door (the first door was to an internal porch).

There's a woman there who's coming to visit, she's the one bringing all these creatures. I tell her I don't want these things, she says they're a gift, I say I don't want them get them out of here (I don't like their juiciness), she says ok she's taking them back. I look at her and she's absolutely beautiful young woman, shining and beaming and smiling at me. Very bummed to have missed lucidity that moment, she was a right proper "dream girl."

2) in a group outside, a restaurant there's a big surprise coming. (famous actor?) coming up from behind he comes up behind the guy at the head fo the table and squeezes his shoulders, it's a big shock. There's a procession (DO), there's one very odd character / thing which has empty eye sockets the eyes are bobbing around outside of the face fo the thing, which is some kind of construct, built from wires/sticks. Its attention is moving around, kind of spooky.

F2) Getting in to some kind of office, a woman says: "Will it be Asian, or Asian delight?"

05:34 FA #1 LD #7!!!!!
3) Wake up in my old bedroom in my parent's house, I'm in bed with my wife. Something's not right here, something about the sound (in WL there's a fan on in the room), I suspect a LD, nose pinch, I can breathe, YES, I am dreaming, this is a FA! I see a few things from my childhood room, it's dark, a Snoopy spelling trophy, went out into the hallway (always lit), down the stairs, as I pass the front door I think I should perhaps go outside and change to daytime. Instead I go into the living room, it's dark, just can barely see the outlines of the room, there is no furniture there! Did another nose pinch, I can breathe, my nose feels flimsy, like it's not even connected to my breathing apparatus. "OK," I think, "time to get down to business." I say "BE LIGHT!" to lighten the room. A weak light hovers around my face. I will it to be more light, and the room becomes about half-lit. I think nough of this 'no female entaglements stuff,' so I summon my first highschool girlfriend, I say, "K.S., BE *THERE*!" and point at the couch (which appeared at some point). And she is there! I move on the couch with her, straddling her, now the couch has reoriented so that it's back faces the room, and I can see the stairs. I think to myself, "this is a solid lucid dream, and it is going to last a long time" (WL intent). I felt like I could stay in for a long time. I initiate sex, the feeling is more like ND sex, kind of flimsy and things don't quite fit. My wife comes down stairs, I pull KS down lengthwise across the couch, kind of squishing her against the back of the couch, trying to hide her under me, cover her with a blanket. Wife comes right up to the back of the couch and looks down at me, "what are you doing here?" I say, "sleeping..." she moves away, back to the bottom of the stairs, then she turns towards me, and annoyed, says "I don't have time for this! I have to do (all kinds of things...)" I get mad, and command her to go upstairs: "BE UP THERE!" and I point upstairs, and ZOOM she disappears becomes a brown blur zipping up the stairs, like the cartoon character The Flash. I start kissing KS, but her face is dark, I say, "K, why can't I see you?", then she is lit well again. I see her, study her face, it's not a perfect version of K.S. but she is *totally realistic*, the color and pattern of her shirt, her hair, her face, all very life like. We kiss a few more times. I feel the beginnings of a climax, I will it to happen now, and I fade to awake in bed with a fast heartbeat. Try to DEILD back in but too awake.

I think this was my longest LD to date, 3-4 minutes. Lucidity about the same as my other LDs, not very high, but succesful summon and environment control (half lit room), and DC control.

Having no earplugs in may have helped: I think I noticed the difference in sound between the fan in my room in WL and in the dream room.

11:02

4) battle with a guy on a bed it has grates with water in them, he's trying to lure me close to the grates to that his weapons will work, I'm trying to get him close to the grates and squirt water down into the grate because that will cause his weapons to explode onto him. Water grenades of some sort with different effects. There is an explosion.

5) in an internal room, with lots of little sub-rooms off to the side with poles in them, it's like a porn store, there are little cone shaped (like trumpet mutes) devices which you're supposed to roll around with on the ground especially in a special powder which will greatly enhance the pleasure. I see big sweaty black guys pumping away with prostitutes in these little side rooms, really going at it, I think I don't want to go into these rooms, there's sweat and other stuff all over the floor and they're disgusting.

F3) MR, childhood friend. Something about owing him money or getting money from him

F4) Finding a teacher so that my kids will learn how to get into medical shcool.

6) (earlier awakening). In a room below ground level in a house (I think my old house in CP). I open up a ground level window, it's painted white, there's a wooden set of bars/lattice on the window, in the lower left hand corner there's a white/pink sponge jammed into the lattice, at first I think this is a motion detector but then I think it's to prevent the rats from coming in. Look past the right side of the lattice at ground level in the backyard, there's a small wooden grating just past the window, in between this grating and the lattice hidden in some plants is a rat's nest with 3 or so rats jumping around, a mama and some babies.

At the other end of the house. Standing right outside a window, looking down to the ground, there is a fairly large and deep hole that goes under the house, there is a family of ground owls (I see them, about 3) that live there. I'm showing this to a bunch of Chinese people. A teenage girl shrieks in fear at something up in a tree, I'm annoyed because it's just a white flower. There's an attractive woman and an annoying guy, the guy says "let's go off (somewhere),", I say "yeah, let's do that!" and he goes off and we ditch him, I"m pleased with myself. I take her hand and lead her behind me to show her the rats nest I found earlier. Her hand is a bit sweaty. The nest has been cleaned up it's not there any more. We're back in the room where I saw the nest to begin with, there's a big party going on, lots of tables are set all throughout the different rooms, all the tables have glasses of champagne and wine on them. I ask if she'd like a drink, she says yes, so I sit her down at a table and go off to find 2 fresh glasses of champagne. I find one but can't find another where the glass hasn't been used (I see lipstick markings), I'm walking all around to find a glass, I eventually enter a large area where a caterer is working preparing food, I ask the caterer for a clean glass, they say "no there are no clean glasses left." I think about getting a bowl and pouring a drink into the bowl, but I think "nooo, she doesn't want to drink from a bowl." I think about pouring a drink from one glass to another one, fooling her. I don't make it back to her.

One of my worst sleep nights ever, probably was awake at least half the time from 00:00 to 11:00, but I don't care since I had a fun LD (first FA!), and lots of interesting NDs.

After my Nickelodeon Land dream I went back to sleep. This dream started out non-lucid. I cant remember what happened before but this but I was in this white room with nothing but white. There was a white table and an empty glass. There was a man and he was saying things to me but I cant remember what it was but he was thirsty. I remembered that it was a dream so I gave him some water and then I woke up. That is all I can remember...

I went to sleep while consenting so that I would be lucid from when I first entered the dream. After a while I was in the dream. I was a princess riding a bike through the forest. I got really excited and I almost lost the dream. I got off the bike and began spinning around with my eyes shut and concentrating to stay inside the dream. When I stopped spinning I found myself in a castle. After a few moments I realized that I was Twilight Sparkle! I exploded the castle and it was not very big. It only had 1 other room and a staircase. Then I realized that because I had wings I could fly and because I had a horn I could do magic! I then gotten excited again and had to spin. I had gone to the forest that I was in before. I was still Twilight Sparkle. I saw some rocks on the ground so I used my magic to make them all fly around. After that I was walking around and suddenly Flutter Shy appeared. I said hi to her and asked her if she wanted to fly with me. She said yes and then I flew up into the sky using my wings. Flutter Shy was behind me. I suddenly saw Rainbow Dash and she started flying with me. We flew up into the clouds. I was really excited and because I was flying I could not spin around to stay in the dream. I woke up. It was a really cool dream and I was lucid throughout all of it which I have never ever done before! It was wired for me to dream of my little pony because I have not been watching it recently since I have seen all of series 3 now. I have also never dreamed of my little pony before. I am still not complaining it was an awesome dream and I really enjoyed it! Could not believe it when I had woken up!

#241 - DEILD/OBE

I am sitting at work on a Saturday. We have finished all of our work but it's only 8:30am. (My alarm clock from home is at my desk.) Someone hands out information about health insurance changes. I don't like it and say something flippant. Something makes me turn around and I see Obama. He says something about how this a good thing. I say something really rude about how I don't like it and don't believe him. He looks mad but keeps his cool. I begin to feel excited about telling the president off. He tells me that the form on the back has a place to address my concerns. I say oh like that's going to do any good. He says well its hard to tell lies from truths. I reply shit I've been thinking that since the day I was born brotha. I look at my alarm clock again and is it's now almost time to go home. I get ready to leave and wake up

I decide to MILD from this dream and get vibrations starting into more of a DEILD. Suddenly a strong urge to pee brings me out of transition so I get up to take care of that and then go back to MILD. While going to the bathroom I see hallucinations in the dark though I know I am surely awake. There are images of grey aliens obscuring my vision like an after image from a bright light. I see through it as much as I can and ignore it unafraid. What happens next is confusing and my memory is bad.

At some point I get back in transitional stage and have an OBE. There was lots of confusion and sensations but I manage to eventually get the dream started but its unstable as hell. I slowly crawl from my bedroom to the front door, felling the floor along the way for stability. Unfortunately, the moment to touch the door knob my dream ends and I DEILD back to the transitional stage.

I feel really exhausted from my crawl and feel like it took so long. I really don't want to do that again so I just wait in my dream bed. I hear and feel my wife get up to go to the bathroom but think its probably the dream. The stereo is now in the bedroom and music begins to play. It sounds something like a mix of dubstep and southern rock. I enjoy the sound of it and summon a remote in my right hand. It feels more like a touch screen but I pretend like I am pushing a volume button. The music gets progressively louder and reaches a maximum. I try to go beyond that but can't. Then, the song ends and a more heavy metal song begins to play. I have no idea what the lyrics were because when I tried to focus on the words it sounded like gibberish. I continue to enjoy the music all they to a third song thought I don't think they were full songs. At some point, in the last song I begin to move to the beat but feel like I am physically shaking the bed and worry that my wife will wake. That thought makes me think I can hear her coming back from the bathroom and the volume of the music reduces drastically.

I remember some fragment were I become aware while peeing. The sensation of it feels real and I worry about peeing the bed. This thought brings me back to bed.

The there is a huge memory gap here but I have a vague indescribable memory of lucidity and get the feeling like there was more lucid parts. There was another odd transitional stage but the rest could be a false memory because the next dream I recall is about just that though the dream feels different.

I vaguely remember having a FA from a "lucid" at my parents old house. Some really creepy stuff ghostly stuff happening that I took video of on my phone. After the FA I was able to view it and think that I must have been sleep walking the whole time. The video was really odd and confusing and hard to describe as anything other than visual gibberish.

Lucid Dream: team deathmatch with everyone in in every school in the world. People kept spawning weapons and trying to kill me while a mysterious creature floats above a house watching us.

Third-person | Lucid

Dark ride
I'm driving to church on a motorcycle in the dark. I'm on the surface street near the church and all the traffic lights are out. I know people are supposed to treat such intersections as 4 way stops, but since it's dark I don't know how many people will even realize there's supposed to be a traffic light. I realize my headlight is off and turn it on, but it doesn't work very well, only shining a small pool of light a few feet in front of me. I have some loud music playing on my phone, so I hope that will help people notice me.


Military home
I'm in a beautiful old home that's been "borrowed" by the military. The home is clearly very expensive, with lots of dark reds and browns of hard wood everywhere, with lots of high quality fabrics hung and placed everywhere. Mom (who used to be in the RAF) is showing me around. She shows me the men's room and decides to make use it; the men's room guard completely ignores her since she's well known on base. Now I'm in one of the bathroom stalls by myself. Someone else comes into the bathroom.

Now it's not a bathroom stall, it's a bed alcove. I know I woke up at about 4 AM and now I'm trying to get back to sleep. As I'm lying there, I'm going over my dreams, trying to increase my recall. Suddenly, I realize I'm dreaming. Now I'm standing near the bed, and I realize I have a task of the month to do. I think about doing the ask-a-DC task, but that requires having someone nearby; but since it's night, everyone's asleep, so there won't be anyone to talk to. Instead, I decide to count the months backwards. Since I've been practicing this one in real life, I had no trouble counting backwards from November to January. I still want to try asking a DC what he's thankful for. I realize the guard should still be awake, and I can ask him; but I need clothes first, so I go to the open closet and start looking around inside for something to wear. Unfortunately, the light isn't working, and I can't see inside well. I try to use my key-chain flashlight, but it barely casts any light at all - I'm surprised it's working so poorly and figure the batteries must be almost out. This also surprises me until I remember that they're rechargeable, so of course they're almost dead.


Electronics and groceries
I'm working on electronics with the kids. We're going to make a simple LED+resistor circuit on the breadboard, but I decide that it would be better if each child had an individual cut-off button. I decide to implement it with my microcontroller so that pushing a button cuts power to the LED for a few seconds before automatically bringing it back on. I have some trouble getting everything hooked up right - I'm having trouble remembering which way the connections in the breadboard go - but I get it eventually.

Now I'm riding my bike to the nearby grocery store. Going up the hills is a lot easier than I remember - I attribute it to not pulling the trailer with the kids in it. Riding on the roads with cars goes well.

Now I'm at the store and find a table set up with my electronics; one of my daughters is sitting at it. I still haven't finished the programming, so it doesn't work right. I head home. As I'm preparing to make a right onto the large road near our house, I see a huge store on the corner. It doesn't look very nice, but it claims to be a runner's emporium with everything a runner could ever need. Looking more closely, I see that their front room is filled with random riding toys - it must be because we're close to Christmas. Turning onto the road, I'm looking behind me and using a rear set of pedals - but car pedals, not bike pedals. I face forwards but I'm still contorting my body to use the pedals behind me. I want to switch to the ones in front of me, but I can't remember which is gas and which is brake. I think the big one the left me is brake, but I'm not sure, so since I don't want to hit the car in front of me I just stay stopped by putting my feet on the ground.

After I get home I realize I left my daughter and my electronics at the store. I don't want anything to happen to her, and I don't want the store to trash my electronics, so I head back out.


Coleson's recovery
I'm watching something about Agent Coleson being on life support, waking up, and pull tubes out of his mouth. He should be dead but he's not. The tubes he's pulled out are dripping various things - gastric juice is making a mess, and some unfertilized (human) eggs are producing little red sacks where they've fallen into some water.

I'm looking at a Facebook page for a pastor. At the top, it's talking about the pastor's amazing recovery, except it's describing word-for-word what happened to Coleson. Further down, comments are going back and forth between praising the pastor for his good work and throwing insults at him for his views.


Workers and doughnuts
A bunch of men are at our house to help with some work. There's a really nice breakfast laid out for everyone. I'm particularly interested in the pastry table, but I'm disappointed when I see that most of the really good doughnuts are gone when I get there.


Experimental radish cure
A guy with little time to live tries an experimental treatment made from concentrated radishes. It's a partial success: he grows large and strong, but he's covered in wrinkles and looks like an old man.


Pizza zombies
I'm walking around a house filled with pizza-eating zombies.



Analysis
Dreamsigns:
* Very dim lights
* Bathroom weirdness

Lucid awareness: Poor. I didn't realize dream control was even an option, but I did remember to do the TOTM
Lucid control: Non-existant. I didn't even try.

#240 - DIELD - 3:40PM

I had two beers just before a big lunch and ended up feeling really tired. I only meant to lay down for just a few minutes but ended up taking a long nap. The kids in the next room were really noisy and I woke several times staying in what felt like light sleep. After about one hour and forty-five minutes I began noticing dreams.

I have an FA were the kids have came into the room and woke me. I tell to them stop coming in so much and wait at least 5 min. Then I hear an external sound.

I wake briefly and lay still. I feel really light and floaty and feel like I am twisting at the waist. There are no vibes this time but that doesn't really mean much. From past experience I know that I am not quite there yet so I wait a little more and then try moving my legs. I think I must have moved my real legs so I stop and focus more visually.

I find myself stepping off the porch in the front yard. There is a white diner plate on the ground. I pick it up and toss it up and watch it fall. I can still hear the kids in the next room and wonder if I am really awake but the scene is so vivid that just go with it.

I get the idea to blind-summon a pistol and shoot the plate like skeet. I toss the plate up and draw a gun but its just my hand. I make childish gun sound with my mouth hope the plate will burst apart in the air. It just falls back to the ground undamaged. I try several more times but all to the same effect.

Now, I hear the bedroom door open and the sound of an adult walking in. I assume it's my wife coming to wake me up, but I stay focused on the dream. I look at the plate on the ground and try shooting it again but nothing happens. Then, I focus on what it should look like when broken and the plate shatters apart on its own. Mildly surprised, I take a closer look. When I do, the plate mends itself almost instantly. I feel the bed shake. My wife touches my shoulder and the dream ends.

i had a very stable lucid dream just now, felt like it lasted hours, very vivid, very realistic. to me this is the biggest achievement bc i integrated all the methods i learned- hand checking, expectation, stabilizing, repeating it's a dream, etc... and it worked wtf!!!

ok so first i was getting into heroin (which is bc before i fell asleep i watched this documentary about how meth is an epidemic in sf for gay men- guess i just changed it to heroin). i injected myself for the first time and felt a rush. then i had to walk to my house. on the way though, everything got weird, fast. suddenly i noticed there was a lot of commotion and flashing lights and people running. it was bright daylight and i felt so good bc i was high so i almost didn't care. in fact i actually didnt care bc i was on the phone with ashley and i was telling her all this random shit about how gay people had more rights now and that i finally saw '21 and over' and couldnt stop quoting it (which really isnt true). while i was on the phone, sam b from scu was on my street and he looked at me and motioned with his hands and he was like 'there is an accident!' or something. i actually ignored him bc i sort of forgot he said that in the dream

eventually eric from scu came and said there is an accident and i was freaking out this time and i thought it was my fault but eric wouldnt give any details. i piggy back rode on his back to my house wtf and then at my house i had all my prep stuff and supplies and injected myself with more heroin and was in this heavy delirium and it was almost so intense that i thought i was going to explode or something. i looked out my window and saw an almost transparent reflection- a heavily armed man with a helmet and all this gear and camo aiming a huge gun straight at me. i heard 2 shots (not really loud like a real gun?) fired and i was crouching low under the window.

at that moment i realized that mom was going to come home from work soon and i had all this drug shit out. i also realized that if the cops came to save me or something i was screwed bc i had the paraphenelia. so i quickly tried to fix it but i was noddin off from the h. false awakening: mom came into my room. she didnt notice the stuff tho, bc i kind of put shit on top of it to cover it. but i started crying and hugged her so tight bc i was freakin out bc there was a guy aiming a gun at my window. mom started hugging me too but it was really tight and suddenly she was chocking me around the neck with her "hug". i literally couldnt breathe (felt like) and i was trying to stay "stop" but it was so hard. she finally stopped and left.

i had to figure out why the gunman was there. i found a bunch of journals in my room that were mom's. they were heavily detailed, there were lots of drawings she made of architecture and random scribbling notes all over it. mom can't draw but the drawings were actually very good. i tried to look and see if the drawings were her or printed from a publisher onto the pg, and it required me to analyze the pages really hard and the images are fresh in my head of the renderings. it was hard to tell whether she drew in it. but there was a lot of writing about John Baptist the Third, whoever that is. Mom suddenly came into my room and said we need to go, we need to escape. so i followed her and i was like mom wtf is going on and she wouldnt really tell me and i was like MOM WHO IS JOHN BAPTIST THE III? and she was like 'natalie. i'm the mother of john baptist the iii" and i was like "is that our cousin jonny??" and she was like "no, its the prominent mormon leader. im the most educated person on the topic in the world" and i was like "ARE YOU MORMON??" and she was like "oh god no" and then i realized WTF this is absurd. i realized it had to be a dream. i was like "MOM this is a fcking dream and that's not true!" and mom was like "no it isnt" and i was like "OH YA? lemme prove it!! can i FLY in real life?" and i flew and then she was just like indifferent.

i went home so i could do some lucid shit. i decided to stare at stuff and make it morph. i had this cubical shot class and i looked at each side and made the image on it change to wat i wanted. i chose pokemon and a bunny. then i decided to let my dream choose the sides. each time i turned it there was this elaborate neon pattern.

then the dream switched to me being in a car with casey and some guy. i still knew it was lucid tho. the dude gave me a mint and i dont like chocolate mint so i wanted a snickers so i just expected a snickers and it was! more affirmation that its a dream. when we got to casey's house, there was about to b this huge reception or something. it was a pretty nice house. i was in the living room and alex came in. i was like "dude idk im stuck in this dream and i cant really get out (bc i had tried to wake up earlier bc the gunman was so fkin scary but i kept wakin up to mom like i mentioned). he was like "this isnt a dream nat" and i just started floating to prove it. i was like "u wanna fly too?" and he was like "well ... damn ok ya sure" and then we just kinda flew around the house together and had this good sibling connection for a sec. then i went straight to the back door (where all the guests were coming in) and wanted to mess with them bc i knew it wouldnt matter bc its just a dream. ryan n zach dp were there and i flew straight up close to their faces and was like yelling random shit like "goobideegooo blaaa!!!" and they were all confused lol.

then the guests started leaving and i wandered outside and noticed a huge board of artwork. it was actually the most interesting art ever like i dont even know how my mind could come up with such beautiful things... it was like random images but sort of abstract with dark outlines and not proportional (a poodle, among other non-coherent images). i stared super hard and close in awe of my dream's capability to come up with such beautiful things. i decided it was time to wake up bc i was done with this dream. it was exhausting.

i went into the living room and casey was like 'i cant take you home bc we have guests still' the guests were a few ppl including this kinda creepy ish black guy. they would NOT let me go home and i was like ok fine ill just do some crazy lucid shit. the black guy tried to have sex with me right there in the living room and at first i was reluctant but then i was like oh well w/e its a dream ill do it and see how it is. his teeth had like gaps, just tiny ones in between each tooth. he wasnt really good looking and he definately was older but whatever i just tried to b attracted. the sex was actually really good and i tried to focus on the feeling of it in the dream and see how realistic it was. it really did feel realistic but also felt a bit different- almost like a different kind of pleasure or something.

then i went home and had a couple more false awakenings. i was frustrated bc i really really wanted to wake up. each time i woke up i had to make sure the heroin was gone. the last false awakening i realized it didnt matter bc i was in a dream.


DAYUMMM crazy fuckin dream. the craziest part was how DETAILED it was like all the writing and art i looked at.

*This dream contains many video game references and a few references to earlier dreams*
*I'm also pretty surprised that out of finding that I was lucid I didn't wake myself up through excitement.

So I can't quite remember how I became lucid but it seemed like I saw something and knew I would never see it in real life.

Anyways, after I became lucid I tried to create a thompson SMG (Call of Duty). I had closed my eyes, "Felt out the gun" and my hands tingled ridiculously but when I opened my eyes after I could feel the gun... It was actually there! The next thing I really wanted to do was jump out of a window but feared that the fall would jolt me into waking up so I veered away from that. Next, I teleported outside(Unintentionally) outside of(What I thought to be) The school where my grandma volunteered. I ignored the crowd of kids waiting to be picked up and walked around the parking lot and this about 30 year old lady asked me where my grandma was. I pointed her in the right direction and got(Unintentionally) teleported into a game of Texas Hold-em(Dad works in the Casinos) Not feeling like playing the game, I summoned me a royal flush but also summoned a bunch of other cards as well. As I shifted through them, I found various words written on the cards. I read a few of them and then got "Redirected"(Going to different page on the internet) and saw this game that looked extremely like dwarf fortess(Indie PC game). I sat back and watched a "Walkthrough" of the game. The character looked a hell of a lot like someone from the game Naughty Bears along with Cosmo and Wanda from The Fairly Odd Parents. I watched them play through, brutally murder many different people and then die very brutally before my mom woke me up in the morning.

*EDIT* I remember how I became lucid... I was inside of the Code Name Kids Next Door type tree house along with a similar problem from an older dream, The tree house was overrun by giant creatures that kinda resembled cells(I'm a sciencey kind of kid ) and we didn't have any tools to fight them.

Dream recall from today's WBTB/naps.,

Dream 1(fragment):

There was something going on IRC and Xei had +h and i was trying to figure stuff out.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was watching random video where someone was playing a game and was complaining about how counter-strike series went all wrong way after version 1.5, where "towards damage" mechanic was added.

Dream 3:

I am at home, looking out of window, i notice something flying in the sky very far. Then i notice that something is a dragon, i do RC and it fails, i continue looking. Dragon is flying above houses on the other side of the street now, he's fairly large and yellow. I feel that i am dreaming and decide to call dragon. He continues flying like he did but then after a while changes direction towards my home and quickly gets closer. Eventually he just gets into the room crashing through the wall and ceiling and lands behind in the room. I feel nice that i finally get do see another dragon in lucid, but then in a second dream just destabilizes and fades before i can ask or do anything...

I don't remember much from it, but here we go.

[COLOR="#008080"]I am on this mountain.The sky is purpleish with touches of red and the grass is bloody red. There are a lot of people fighting. There are a lot of seats in the color of black. I have a bow and I keep shooting arrows at people. I suddenly get this feeling I'm dreaming and do a RC. After realizing that I'm dreaming I stabilize but the dream doesn't get any clearer. I put my hands together and imagine ice in them. They get colder and I try to stabilize without any succes. I yell : GIVE ME A CLEARED LUCID, GIVE ME FULL AWARENESS and all that kind of stuff to make my dream more awesome. There appears Kris and he tells me that if I keep getting all those things I will create another person (wut). I stop doing it and that's pretty much all I remember.[/COLOR]

Kris appearence was pretty normal(As it usually is) but for me... I had black long hair and I wore some ninja clothes (Pretty much looked like Dannie)

New thing I remember : Kris did a surgery on my leg to get a bone out of it.

I was in a bus and my mum was near me. We spoke about lucid dreaming and i understood that its a dream. I said it to DC of my mum and began count the months backwards. it was easy and i add December in the end. The bus was running in the street with exotic plants and i enjoy the view. Then i suddenly ( i don't know why) shaked my head in dream and awoke.

Me and my wife were breaking into a jail/casino and she said that she said that she was lucid but for some reason i didnt realize it was a dream. Then she stopped and i became "lucid" i had all the awesome powers like flight, mind control, go through walls, all that awesome stuff. I knew i was dreaming but the dream was so fun it started to capture me back into the dream reality of us breaking into a jail/casino.

Next dream was not lucid at all but very fun, me and my family were swimming through a dangerous shark mutant fish spot. My 2 year old got her feet bit off... anyway then we got to safety and i was at my work where i was about to give a big presentation. My presentation was very funny to most people and they all laughed, then turned blue... eventually some non-blue guys thought it wasnt cool and started chasing/capturing the blue people. i started turning blue and some dude was trying to get me, i had a shotgun but didnt want to kill him so i ran, he caught me and i woke up.

i wake up in my room at 3:20 am(i think, it was dark) and im very tired and i thinking: "do RC or not". my body tells me you are tired don't do but the heart say do, what do you care it only the sec.
after 3 mins I decided to do RC and i was dreaming, but it felt so real, to much real, so i got up sit on my bed and did RC again just to be sure, and yes i was dreaming.
i walked outside my dor and started to fly, I flew to my bathroom and from there outside through the window. the moment i was out it was so light like 3:00 pm and it was like 30 degrees celsius.
i land on my streat and remembered that in dream my sight should be better, so i took a good look on the street floor and it was made from liltle red sand that stuck to each other in shape of rectangle (really cool). then i tried to change the weather to rain so i tried hard and then it started to rain after awhile i tried to get it back to 30 degrees celsius but i couldnt do it , then i saw a beautydull streat and i said to myself you have to go over the so i fly to there ,
it was like = (trees|benchs|floor|trees). after a while i saw 3 girls (little bit fat ) so i flew to them, and i was thinking
what could i ask in a dream (ammm ) : "who want to have sex ?" 2 gilrs answered she want and point on the fattiest one so i said no thank you XD and continue flying until the dream ends