lucid

(Welp, haven't posted here in a long time... I guess I was too lazy to type up my handwritten journal :/ )
On another note, I might have had my first lucid today.
---
Oct 30 2013 - 2213 to 0500

0240 - I was apparently in my high school (though it looked different). J (an old friend that I haven't seen since... elementary school?) was there and I showed her my list of osu! beatmaps and she got excited over anime for a while, especially Puella Magi Madoka Magika. Well, she paused when she saw Madoka Magika, anyway. A teacher/janitor came by and we pretended to be fixing a poster on the wall. They started moving all the carts so i had to go back to my backpack (which was on a cart but they took it off and tossed it on top of a cabinet or something).

A seahorse sticker backing is on a poster on the wall. I realized that it was a reference to M, my friend. B (a classmate) said it was a Daily 20(?) challenge to find people who got it. She mentioned a difficult class with lots of free courses and I was momentarily confused before I realized she was talking about APCS. Because i got it, she thought I was on the making posters crew. (Or was that J?)

0412 - had a lucid dream, or a non-lucid about lucid dreams. I woke up and it was 0630 or so. I felt really tired even though it was 0630. I thought I slept through the 0500 alarm and was disappointed because I didn't want to give up on CAT. I also thought it was a bit strange that I didn't even wake up when my phone vibrated, because usually I do. And then I thought, "what if this is a dream?" And I pushed my finger through my hand and tried breathing while plugging my nose.

I realized that it was a dream and became excited, though I tried not to be too excited. I kind of failed at staying calm though, because instead of stabilizing, I tried picking up various things like a thin black cone and using it as a wand, and I looked outside and the street was flooded with water. I jumped outside and flew around and came back, and tried walking into the living room, but then I "woke up." Apparently it transitioned into a non-lucid then.

When I "woke up," the room was in disarray. My pillow was on the floor, and strangely my laptop was charging but on the floor as well (it was supposed to be on my desk) and the browser was open to Facebook. I think I was on the floor as well, though I got up and tried putting things back. My mom came down quickly and asked if I were alright, because she heard a thud. I was like "yeah" and said that she should worry more about herself because she was bleeding a bit from her nose. She touched her finger to her nose, but couldn't get at the blood.
And then I woke up for real.

I successfully attempt a WILD. I feel loud buzzing noises and feel my body pushed down and moved all over the place. I go with the sensations as I am pushed back and forth. I am moving all over the place and I end up back in my room. At one point I even try to float away. Then I wake up and I go to my light switch and try it out. It works. I open my door to a nice starry night. I close i and open it again hoping to get another place, but it is the same scene.
I a so excited that I am in a LD that I do not stabilize and i go outside and take off to the skies. It is beautiful and I see giant pine trees and feel their boughs as I whiz pass them. I am flying to a destination that I am not sure off. My heart is pumping so fast. I realize that I am too excited and i should use stabilization techniques, but I am in the sky. I say the words, but do not use the hand and palm technique. I slowly start to fade, and as i go into the darkness I try spinning my dream body. I wake up in my bed to no avail. I try to DEILD but I can feel my fan on my leg ad the dream is done. I shall try again.

I was lucid in a dream and went all through houses and teleported through them. Met disney characters and It was day/night time. I passed through many different houses and mansions. I also ended up going down a large ocean with many weird sea creatures in it. There were also floating islands that were objects, such as large toys, food, etc.

There was much more to this lucid/semi-lucid dream that I didn't have time to write down as I had to go to work.

Dream recall from today's WBTB/nap.

Dream 1(fragment):

There was something about decisions and clans.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was updating dreaming competition and seen that somebody posted a dream about akashicverse.

Dream 3(fragment):

An illustrated game on one of forums got updated and i was reading it.

Dream 4(fragments):

I was chatting with dragons on skype and then followed some link where i started watching somebody drawing. He was drawing some weird house and i didn't noticed as i somehow was together with artist now. I continue watching and i feel that i am dreaming, artist suddenly reacts to that and asks what i would suggest that should be added to that picture, which now looked like some sort of abandoned house. For some reason i think graffiti would be fitting for abandoned place like that so i tell him and he agrees that it would be perfect and starts adding, i then realize that i need to go for goals and stuff, but dream starts destabilizing and artists tries to help me stay in dream telling that i should not move but i wake up shortly and go through some HH.

fell asleep something around 23:20 and woke up at 6:40 by my alarm clock

Dream I remember last I think something around 5 minutes, I was at school and teacher said we are going to write a test, I realised I am not sitting at my regular place but it did not bother me, then I wanted to pull out paper from my bag, but there was no blank paper, all of them was full of some text, then I realized I have only blank papers in my bag and in this moment I realized I am dreaming... I stood up a started to look around me and then I heard some sound, it was like background sound, it was not very loud then I realized it is my alarm clock... I was trying to say something (possibly swear) and then I woke up.

Entry 2/2

I stay still for DEILD, although my leg feels uncomfortable.

DEILD: The very first moments are a bit vague, but the next thing I know, I am in what looks like the desert (I don't fully realize this yet, just acknowledge I am in). There are a number of DCs randomly walking around and I take some time to feel comfortable in the scene. I notice a jade colored large crystal in the sand, pick it up and remark how beautiful it is. There are more crystals now and in the midst of them I find the most amazing piece (fist size) I have ever seen. It has a variety of bright colors and really interesting structure.

The sun is shining brightly and the whole scene is super vivid too. As I keep staring at the crystal I get the feeling that it is about to change, so move my eyes away. There is a DC guy nearby and I comment on the beauty of the crystal, then look at my hand again. I am now holding several pieces of smaller gemstones, deep colors of blue and green. I address the DC and ask him for advice. I really wish I could take those gemstones with me, can he tell me how to do that. I clasp my fist as tightly as possible to hold on to the crystals.

I look around and examine the surroundings. I remember I wanted to do TOTY and briefly wonder if there might be something suitable here. The sky is deep blue, the sun is shining and there is sand in every direction. Finally, it dawns on me that the Egypt task could fit here (although I haven't reviewed it in a while). I think about the pyramids and get the pyramids plus sphinx complex but very far in the distance. It's more like a single clearly distinguishable pyramid and the sphinx in front of it. Anyways, I think it's too far so decide to get another sphinx somewhere nearby. I do my looking for object subcon summon - look from left to right with a bit less focus, scanning the surroundings and expecting to spot the desired object (quite similar to looking for something lost at home).

My mind begins to make the scene more Egyptian now. A few palms appear in the distance, (I only notice them vaguely), Egyptian statues and a number of small sphinx-like statues. One catches my attention (it's one of those winged sphinxes) and I decide that will be it. Part of it is missing. I briefly remember about the nose. Then I see a light beige to albino lion, very beautiful but kind of scary. I am thinking it looks less friendlier than tigers. I try to ignore it and get on the sphinx statue which is about the size of a pony. In the meantime, I notice that I am still holding my fist tight and continue to do so. The lion comes closer and I try to start the sphinx statue to move (forgetting about the nose), but instead it only rocks back and forth like those spring rockers for a while, then the dream fades.

I try to DEILD once again, but the same leg position is terribly uncomfortable now. My fist is tightly clenched and I slowly open it, with the childish hope that I was able to bring those beautiful crystals back with me.

Entry 1/2

Pre bed: 3mg mel, wbtb: 1/2 latte

DILD+: I've got the impression that I deilded two times after dream fade, got into the same place with the first deild, but my memory is really messed up, so putting this as one ld.

I am on the porch of this place the way it used to look years ago. I am staring ahead of me, as if trying to figure out if I am in the dream. I confirm it feels like a dream, then turn around to go towards the yard, but the porch is very high and there is a steep slope just below it, so not very convenient for a jump. I decide to take the stairs and go down one level. Notice some details of the house and get a mix of memories that seem to change the place. I am now on the lower level of the yard and see a very long truck that carries some sort of long metal wires. Random thoughts arise about there being a construction site in the proximity and how they have ruined the place and I almost lose lucidity.

Ignoring the truck, I continue on my way, this time trying to climb to the upper level of the yard using some sort of a morphing ladder. This time, I decide to experiment and see if I can stretch my hands like Mr. Fantastic as I am holding on to the ladder or whatever it is now. My hands stretch somewhat, but it is the ladder thing that stretches the most. The whole thing becomes a flexible rubbery substance that is being dragged down like a curtain, as I clench onto it.

Still hanging in the air, holding on to it, the next idea that comes to my mind is that I actually want to climb it like a cat (i.e. with claws) or even better, why not make the surface of my fingers just stick to the ladder. I am midair holding myself by clawing on the surface of the ex-ladder, trying to smoothly let go and just allow my fingers to stick to the surface, but feel that I am about to fall. Then, subconsciously apply some sort of mini- vacuum effect with my fingers, that makes the ladder stick to my fingertips. There is a thin indigo energy layer around and behind my fingers as I look at them.

I finally climb to the upper level. There is some sort of long white board on which I decide to do random acrobatic tricks I can't exactly recall in detail. Then I remember reading on DV that someone used a certain tech to fly and decide to try it out. It consists of putting your hands on the ground and launching yourself by applying pressure to it (Man of Steel). I try to do that and feel some pressure, but can't take off.

I turn around and acknowledge the greenery which reminds me it may be good for the Wall of China. I look around, thinking about the wall, but only get a couple of Asian/Buddhist statues made of ebony among the trees ahead of me. Maybe I need a little bit of motivation for the task, so I start singing a Chinese tune to help me out. It echoes loudly around me, but the dream slowly fades.

BG Info:When I say "lucid" in my dream, I meant "to have control of my dream". Blue, bold text symbolizes the part of my dream that I was lucid, green symbolizes weak-lucidity, and normal text symbolizes normal dreaming.
Dream Start-
I started off in the Cafe (A, located in the "C" building) in my high school building. I attempted to sit at a table of mostly girls, one being Taylor, a student in my Spanish class. There appeared to be no more seats available, as Taylor had been sitting in a chair, as opposed to the booth, so I decided to grab a chair and sit on the left of Taylor, which had little room. She then told me to move to her right instead, and I did. I sat back in my seat, and immediately was teleported to the "A" building of the school, and I trying not to be late for my history class. I ran outside through one of the side exits, to what seemed as a fire drill inprogress. I then began to run to the
"C" building. Once I reached a side entrance, some students said to me, "You're going to be late." Upon hearing their statements, I became worried. I teleported in front of the school (in a parking lot with two restaurants; Applebee's being one). I began to remember my danger of being late to my history class, and I hear my history teacher's voice, seemingly coming from the Applebee's. I ran into the restaurant, dodging through the normal obstacles, and my teacher's voice became louder. I made my way out, after reaching the center, and teleported inside the school bus I usually ride. I was sitting towards the back, which was unusual. I heard two girls conversating about Taylor, but I can't remember what it was about. I looked at the girl in front of me, who was Michelle (girl I used to like), and I jokingly said to her "Nooo, I will [save?] you, Taylor!" They began laughing, and I sat back and "knew" they had disappeared. I stood up, and realized that I was dreaming, and I said, pointing to a window a few seats away from me, "This is a dream! See; watch!" I then thought to myself "I should become lucid." And I started to envision the window and frame cracking. It did nothing. I then looked outside, to my right, and imagined the street/asphalt lifting and cracking, but to no avail. I said to myself, "If this is not a dream, how did I get here?" I couldn't remember, and gave up. I saw and heard Brandon (a student; senior) talking with someone about movies, which he had with him (DVDs). As the bus turned a corner, Jovanni (my friend) came into view behind us, and I heard him say, in funny voice, "....the bus, yoooooou..." I laughed, and teleported to a store, in front of candy. I seemed to be looking for chocolate, M&M-looking candy. I squatted and found an unlabeled bag of it, and squeezed one of the candies, and said to myself "Not the right one." I stood up and looked at an employe, who was wearing a blues shirt and black pants. I then teleported to another part of the store, and found more candy.
Dream End.

I was at this very stupid family party. My uncle asked me to give everyone a plate, so I helped him. When I was done, everyone started getting up, ready to leave.

It was pretty chaotic, everyone was running, as if something had happened (it hadn't). I pushed lots of people, who were NOT my family, until I saw my parents.

My dad was calm and smiling, despite the fact that people were all in panic around him. He saw me and waved. I ran to him and he smiled more.

He gave me the key to a car. It's one of those keys that you press a little button and the thing you use to start the car comes out.

For some reason, I thought "I hate how those things never work in dreams." and pressed the little button... The thing didn't come out and I was all DREAM!!!

Suddenly, I was still where I was, leaving my uncle's place, at the corridor, right in front of the main door, but there was nobody around. I thought "okay tasks what do I have to do I have tasks" and then I, for some reason, thought that my three step tasks starts with flying (it doesn't).

I jumped up a little and flew around the corridor. I had been afraid I wouldn't be able to do it, last time it didn't work too well, but YAY FLYING!!!

I landed and asked myself what I had to do. I then realised I had to summon DragonMaster21. I pointed my hands to the air, as if I were a magician, and thought of a drawing of a dragon I posted on my workbook. The dragon appeared, smiled at me and I smiled back, surprised that it actually worked... so I woke up.

Oh, and I have two fragments. First, I was at this apartment, and a girl was helping me with some tech stuff. We were flirting. Second, I was in my bedroom, a cousin of mine was on my bed. She fell on the floor and my dog started licking her face.
__________________

Two more fragments.

First: I was trying to get a pill for lucid dreaming that was inside a bag. I was told I wasn't allowed to have it cause I had already had a lucid dream today, so I told them I'd send it to DragonMaster21.

Second: in real life, today I woke up, wrote down my dreams, got up and went to my parents' bedroom. Our maid had cleaned up their room already, so I had to get out of mine so that she could clean it too. In my dream, I was in my parents' bedroom and the maid was telling me that I had left my room too late, and that she'd only clean it tomorrow.

I am in a Jehovahs Witness convention with alot of my girls vaguely remember the beginning of the dream but I do get some recall hearing my moms voice saying some thing like are you ready already like if we were still in the hotel room. Then afterwards I am chilling with this girl I dont remember seeing her face but shes taking my somewhere I remember she told me to get ready and I was procrastinating to get ready because the place we were going to which I eventually found out was a meditation home wasnt open yet. So I told her to relax but then I remember she starts pulling over in the car which was a two seater I believe and I was happy I was hanging out with her. We were talking for quite sometime but no idea what then after pulling over the side of the road she all of a sudden takes off and we end up in front of this house that isnt to modern or old but has a classy look to it. I walk in there are like 2 people to my left in a bed room waiting to start with there legs crossed sitting down and I see 2 others on my right which one is a guru I believe and another is another student. I sit down in the middle of the four everyone is facing the door. The kid to my right now after I sit down is black and hands me a paper that I was suppose to read but unable to like I had to decipher a code or something but the letters were all messed up. I believe when I finished with the meditation sessions I became lucid when I looked at my hands and saw that I was dreaming I didnt perform any reality checks I just knew it because of my surroundings was being in like a city. Once I gain lucidity I saw a traffic jam to my right hand side of me and I really like driving cars in my dreams so then I saw the best one which was a white mint dodge camero and no one was in the drivers seat and I got in and saw this other big guy who was white with a blue watch who had a hat on with sunglasses just kind of went along with me getting in the car and driving off. After getting in I remember we were in traffic but I was like yea right this is my dream bitch this doesnt exist here so I speed up traffic and took the car to like 55 miles an hour in like 3 seconds I saw all the other cars speed up tremendously to. I get this call from this guy about picking up something like a car or rims for a car I believe and I have to go to this store that I remembered kinda looked Bjs once I go inside and start rolling around in a chair with while and taking off lil by lil since I was enjoying the dreamscape and once again the guy calls me and says dude sorry I called the store and they said they didnt deliver the whatever he wanted me to pick up. I not going to lie I think I cursed him out or got really angry but I dropped those feelings as fast as I could and went to go see if I could go get my car back. Once I start rolling around in my chair I look at clothing signs in the store I remember seeing one that said "something hubble" and then turned around and it said some thing completely different like "horse something" I was able to capture boths words I was sliding a bit fast. While in the store I was hearing a favorite old school song of mine "only the lonely" which has a cool beat to it. After that I remembered my mission was to talk to my spirit guide and I asked this one random security guard women that looked asian and she told me "no honey im not your spirit guide" then I went to a glass counter and rolled around and asked these two kinda decent looking chicks saying "are you my spirit guide" and one of them that looked like a girl in my high school that made an impression on me who I use to see in the gym said "yes I am your spirit guide" but I heard that you have to question them like 3 times and they have to respond yes to all 3 but I asked 4 just in case cause you dont mess around with that kind of stuff but she didnt actually say yes she nodded and said uhuh the other 2 times I asked so I was really suspicious about that and then for some reason I started flirting with my spirit guide and I guess she woke me up and got pissed with me im not sure but I want to know if your spirit guide has to respond with a yes or a nod is enough.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #157: True Faith

I'm standing outside on a stone path at the top of a hill. There's an elegant white gazebo nearby and a few people milling about. I think to question my reality and I know that I'm dreaming.

I remember that I wanted to try remaining completely calm and collected in my next LD. I sit down on the floor and rest my hands in my lap like I'm going to meditate. I try to relax my mind and just believe that I have all the time in the world.

As I'm sitting, I look around me, taking in the sun and sky, the calmness of the day, the DCs passing nearby... everything about the scene. I announce that "This is my lucid dream." One of the nearby DCs, a young woman, hears me and stops, seemingly curious. She takes a couple of steps toward me and stands there, listening to hear what I might say next.

I get to my feet and start talking about lucid dreaming to the broader crowd. I really go after it, announcing things like "All of this is my lucid dream" and "Whatever I believe will come true". I start getting whipped into a bit of a frenzy, throwing in several f-words, and saying things like "Say it with me now!!"

There's a good-sized crowd of DCs right in there, maybe 20 people or so, all cheering along with me. When I shout something like "I can do anything!" they all shout in agreement. (Couldn't we all use this kind of validation in waking life?)

"Do you know what's behind me? The fucking Colosseum, that's what's behind me!" I look behind me and the geometry becomes weird for a moment and I have to make a strange 270-degree turn rather than a 180. As I do, it looks like the outside of a huge stone structure like the Colosseum. I'm filled with excitement and I hear DCs babbling encouragement to me.

For some reason things destabilize, though, and the dream ends without any opportunity to pick up from the void.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #156: Split

I'm somewhere hazy, talking with IR, a friend from high school. She tells me that she feels like her physical fitness is stagnating and that she's getting old. I'm preparing to disagree when I suddenly become confused and worry that this will be misunderstood and taken as a flirtation. My brain feels stuck in slow motion, and when I wonder why, I realize that I'm dreaming.

IR is gone, and now I'm walking through a darkened hallway. I step through a door into an office with two desks in it. To my left is a window offering a nighttime view of the city. A woman, professional-looking and in her late 30s, walks toward me from the opposite end of the office.

As I prepare to tell her that this is all a dream, the scene "rewinds" a few seconds, and now I'm walking through the door again, and just as before, the woman is at the opposite end of the room. I walk toward her as before, and again the scene resets, placing me back at the door.

Confusion is starting to get the best of me, so from the door I blurt to her (and to me) "I'm having a lucid dream!" She approaches and we exchange a few sentences related to a project that I'm working on, but I can't remember what was said. (I didn't write this dream down until several hours later.)

The scene starts hazing out as she's talking to me, so I move toward her and start kissing her. This seems to keep things on an even keel for a bit, but as things take a shift toward sexytime, it quits working and I wind up in the void.

I rub my hands together for a while, holding things together. My brain feels very foggy and I'm aware that I'm having real trouble thinking clearly in this dream. I just keep rubbing my hands together, hoping that the answer will come to me, but eventually I find myself aware of my physical body.

The amazing part is that when I concentrate, I realize that I can still feel the experience of my dream hands rubbing together. I start getting mixed up about which set of hands is real and which is fake. Sensing the opportunity to "roll out" of the situation and have an OBE-style lucid dream, I try to imagine myself pulling away from my body. It feels like it's working, but the dream takes one last lurch toward instability and collapses.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #155: The Other Half

I'm walking alone on a boardwalk at night, the ocean on my right side. Up ahead I see two men talking on the boardwalk. But there's a smaller figure dragging itself along the boardwalk toward the two men. I look closer and I'm shocked to see that the figure is a woman whose body ends at the waist. She's slowly pulling herself along the floor using only her arms. I'm very upset by this, and the surprise and emotion makes me question reality. I become lucid.

The woman is only about 15 feet away from the two men but they're either oblivious or they don't care. I run up to the woman and crouch down beside her. She glances up at me for a moment and I lock eyes with her. Her face is nondescript, but I focus on it as I imagine that outside of my field of view she has feet, knees, and legs. I visualize and "hear" them scrambling and scraping along the boardwalk as she crawls forward.

When I look down at the rest of her again, her body has gained a set of hips and legs. She gets to her feet as if nothing has happened and walks off down the boardwalk, passing silently by the two men still conversing up ahead. There's no acknowledgement that anything has changed or that I had anything to do with it. In fact, she seems completely unaware of me. This suits me just fine.

A sense of peace settles over me and I look out over the ocean as the dream ends.

Morning of October 27, 2013. Sunday



Scenes from this dream have recurred hundreds of times over the years.

Beginning - St. Andrew and Caledonia Streets - La Crosse, Wisconsin, USA; walking into the Amtrak station from the sidewalk (for me train stations represent a desire to go into deeper areas of the dream state and/or communicate with either higher entities or orphaned tulpas). I had not been there in real life since February of 1994. There is a life-sized bronze statue of Nike near the area that is not there in reality. It is early evening. The Nike statue has about ten percent of the surface covered with verdigris (for me statues represent powerful spiritual energies which are beginning to surface - as it has the verdigris it likely means I need to focus on more meditation in real life lately to increase mental focus). Nike is the Greek goddess of victory and guardian of my connection to supraconsciousness, as V stands for victory and V is the twenty-second letter of the English alphabet (as well as the bottom half of the heart symbol - also half the Yin/Yang totality).

I go inside the Amtrak building. It is somewhat different than in reality in that it has a large public bar and an area with a pool table. A couple men of around forty years of age, in bluejeans and work shirts, are playing darts. The dartboard, instead of the bull’s-eye pattern, has the number twenty-two (dark blue on white) covering a fairly high percentage of the dartboard in surface area, yet it has never been hit before as there are no puncture marks from the points of darts on or near the area. There are far more puncture marks on the wall than the dartboard (from real-life - a north wall of my apartment in the King Street mansion was like this from the previous tenant). The men ask me if I want to join in on the next game and I do. They seem somewhat patronizing, apparently viewing me as of less intelligence, and hand me a dart. I casually throw it with my right hand and it hits the center of the dartboard, causing the entire wall to crack open (recurring), simultaneously all the way to the top and bottom, with small blue bolts of static electricity going everywhere outwards from it. Everyone starts running around, as parts of the ceiling are falling in. I am not that concerned, but walk outside as a precaution.

Hundreds of meteors, some with larger fiery “tails”, are moving across the sky and hitting the ground. The explosions are not that loud or damaging it seems, but are certainly causing chaos for the local residents. The eyes of the Nike statue “do a Jennie Haniver” (usually meaning, personally, a tulpa gaining real life via the thread of a real person it is not yet known to represent - the eyes glowing brightly and flashing briefly) as a man yells “Oh my God” and seems to be killed, falling backwards, by something she is holding, perhaps a dagger or just her touch, as her wings flap over him, creating an unusual metallic “groaning” sound, almost like the distant roar of a lion (from real-life - when I was the only one who recognized a lion’s roar at a fair distance when everyone else was trying to tell me it was the groaning of a bridge in the wind). This scene represents any Western ignorance my mind may be holding as being extinguished.

I walk to the east (going east, unless it is a specific place you are thinking of going, just as on a number line and the orientation of a compass rose, represents progress or expectation/reception of foresight/precognition as well as “rehearsing” potential future events). The living Nike statue is following me, but I am not alarmed. However, I am not quite sure if I want to face this entity. (Audio replay of “Solid Tin Coyote” from “The Roadrunner Show”, first seen on Saturday, February 17th, 1966 from 12:00 PM).

I turn my head to look back for the fourth time and see that the Nike statue is now Barbara Steele (just as her “wings” are folding behind her in a flawless static-electricity-like cascade effect) as she appeared many years ago and in the costume that always reminded me of an old-fashioned wedding outfit. (Barbara Steele represents both the totality of sensual energy from my youth as well as, in present symbolism, the real-life unfolding of marrying my tulpa or “dream girl” of unearthly beauty in real life). There are still meteors falling, but not in the immediate area other than when one hits a car, causing it to fill with fire, so that a skeletal hand is then hanging out the driver’s side (representing the elimination of any potential influence of Western or mainstream ignorance - as I am not the driver in control). Eventually, she seems to be holding something out to me, smiling lovingly.

I tentatively take it from her as she says, “In bocca al lupo…” (“Good luck”, although in this case, “good luck” literally means “in the mouth of the wolf”). I see that it is a large golden key which also looks much like a miniature branding iron (a personal symbol for identifying and then limiting or eliminating any modern Western or mainstream influences or energies).

I walk back to the Amtrak station and although it is mostly destroyed, there is one section of an outer wall with a large keyhole. Three elderly men are sitting about near the ruins, two carving something, one hammering a small object. They are wearing dingy greenish berets. (Darker green berets represent a tentative but ready mental attitude in moving forward with a goal - due to being on the head, being somewhat round, and from the traffic light symbolism.) “I’m going in,” I tell them. Only one, the nearest, glances at me without emotion and goes back to his work of whittling.

The keyhole, which is on a short cylindrical base about an inch out from the wall’s surface, matches the construct of the key I have. The recess is shaped like a large letter “S”, with the forward “C” and the reverse “C” in smaller detail within the “S” - representing the English alphabet form of the Yin/Yang gateway or threads between primarily Asian or ancient cultures and English communication at the supraconscious level. I put the key in and it actually glows like a miniature branding iron and sizzles and sparks. I start to turn it ninety degrees to the left (turning to the left represents the act of loosening or revealing something as with real-life screws, lids, and such, as well as reviewing memories or “turning time back”). Within the sizzling sounds, it clicks when it is at the implied nine (leftmost number on a clock). I turn it another ninety degrees (down to an implied six, the bottommost number on a clock) and it clicks again, the six and nine being the numerical construct of the Yin/Yang form. As the cylindrical keyhole pad recedes into the wall, it transforms into the Yin/Yang symbol by way of the hundreds of tiny metal rods adjusting to the geometric form.

I do not see a door, but the wall itself somehow develops horizontal equidistant recesses and then opens like a jalousie window with all “slats” stopping at ninety degrees. I then see another keyhole I had not noticed before. This one is of two question marks, one facing the other, the question mark being a representation of separation from the supraconsciousness and the separation from the “two”, symbolized by the vertical stem (the mundane mind pulling it down) and the point (isolation from Universal Mind) and aiding in maintaining ignorance at the physical level. I softly rotate (to the left) a torus-shaped dial just below the bow of the key and six small rods emerge from near the middle, somewhat like miniature umbrella ribs in the form of a Star of David with very small bolts of static electricity, and with a barely audible electronic hum, rising to a very subtle higher pitch (around the 9,000 Hz range) the six parts move around the tip of the key, and merge together in one shape, replacing the original implied shoulder stops. The keyhole pattern changes as the key enters, the stem of the question marks each rotate ninety degrees away from the middle with a veneer-like surface receding back and the implied isolated recess actually being a section that slides to the new “stem” each forming the number two (one of them mirrored). The mirrored twos then move more into the wall, receding enough to bring out a hidden plate that is heart-shaped. The heart-shape then glows - and the “slats” of the jalousie-window-like wall start dropping downwards fairly fast until there is an open entrance to walk through.

There is now something that looks like a small white control panel for a home alarm when I am inside, the brand name embossed as “initium” and another version of the “dartboard” from the earlier scene, but as a functioning keypad. I press my initials on the arc-shaped keys, C…C…L… and the display lights up as 250 (CCL in Roman numerals). The “2” looks like a “Z” in the display, and the “5” looks like an “S”. The 0 spins and forms a Yin/Yang icon and moves to the right (moving to the right, as on a number-line, implies progress or moving into the future). It (the “25” of 250 to “ZS”) forms ZSUZSANNA, my wife’s first name. However, it then displays “KSEAL?” which I take to mean “Sealed with a KISS” or the letter “X” (between Z and C on a normal keyboard) or “St. Andrew’s cross of X” or “Crux decussata” (note the street name above of St. Andrew), but is also the next consonant/next vowel pattern in a localized area supposedly encoded into my name by Nike, (for example the pattern being claude, dmeafi, fniego, gpoihu, hquoja, jrauke, kseali) - a source having said “This unusual abbreviation’s origin (referring to "K”) is unknown; it has also been said to stand for 250". K is the eleventh letter (11 + 11 = 22), as well as being half the symbol (but rotated ninety degrees) of the “heart on a plane” and I ponder whether to press “K” or “X” and decide to just press the center of the keypad, which seems to work as a door opens in front of me and I walk out onto the porch of a house on Avon street I had been to in the distant past. It is “still” nighttime from that point.

I see a fireball rolling along the ground, but it turns out to be a candle-lit jack-o’-lantern, which somehow sets fire to the grass after falling from the porch wall next-door and apparently causing something else on the porch to fall. “Stupid cats!” someone yells from inside - so I am thinking the meteor shower is over. I see a blur of white and am thinking it is Snowball, a cat from my childhood. It is not a cat, but a white swan that comes to me. I sense another presence. A black (Australian) swan emerges from the darkness and sits on the porch wall at the same time a young version of my wife walks up the porch steps carrying a hollow plastic jack-o’-lantern with a black handle to collect candy in (not wearing a costume but dressed as she was in an older photograph with a red top and yellow shorts). “Oh…hello…” she says timidly (as if seeing me for the first time). I take her lower right arm (whispering “Yin” in gratitude) to guide her away from the front of the porch, as the explosions start up and grow louder again.

Two obnoxious, meandering drunks walking by, of about twenty years old, yell out “Trick or Treat”, one holding up a can of Budweiser beer and the other saying (to my wife) “Where’s your Costume, Cinderella? Where’s your pumpkin coach, Cinderella?”- but both are hit by fireballs (that ironically turn out to be flaming pumpkins), setting them on fire, causing them to fall and die, screaming and pounding the ground and writhing.

A car is hit by a fireball and crashes into the corner of the house (from a real-life event when a car crashed into our house, into the porch steps and I thought I had lost my wife but it missed her by possibly a minute as she was walking home from the store - across the street when it happened). We move into the doorway as static electricity starts shooting from our skin. My wife’s hair is standing on end. She starts giggling, trying to pat it down, turning in circles and engaging in some sort of funny little dance. I soon actually see our “pumpkin coach” near the opposite side of the porch from where the car crashed and is still burning, but it is a Romani caravan.

Barbara Steele is watching the house, halfway between the sidewalk and the porch with her arm extended to indicate we should get into the pumpkin-shaped Romani caravan as soon as possible.

“Are they all to die?” I say with an unexpected sorrow watching the trails of “jack-o’-lantern meteors” blazing across the sky, crashing everywhere, leaving piles of pumpkin pulp all over the streets and houses (from a real-life event in November of 1993, when I was the maintenance person for a childcare center for WWTC and a very large pumpkin in a Thanksgiving setup had exploded just a few minutes prior to my walking in - the horrid-smelling pulp went all over the main area for a fair distance, even breaking a couple fluorescent lights, and taking a long time to clean up).

Barbara Steele’s visage is now of a teal-colored skull (but seemingly darker in the shadowy porch environment), lighting up slightly from the inside, and she is pointing to me with her left teal-colored skeletal finger but starting to revert to the Nike statue, now nearing the porch steps and holding a blue flaming sword with her right hand, saying something (with a voice of at least six or seven layers of different pitches, like a chorus) much like…“Essi sono sul filo sfilacciato della vita. Tu sei il punto dell'universo, della sua fonte di vibrazione”. (“They are on the frayed thread of life. You are the point of the universe, its source of vibration”.) (This scene and theme is modeled somewhat after “Tonight the Sky Will Fall” by Daniel F. Galouye from Imagination magazine 1952 where one man/being is all that exists and all else is a dream.)

We get into the caravan, my wife being very passive and going in first. There are two horses which neigh nervously at the streaks of fire in the sky. There are streaks of light and vibrations and it is airborne into outer space (the outside view going by so fast that it is like cards being flipped - similar to the view from a jet window when taking off in real life), leaving the Earth forever, as we gaze at the Eagle nebula (“Pillars of Creation” area) just outside the small round window…as I wake I try to hold and focus on the pure bliss.

10/27/13*+ 1145 505 WBTB SSILD. I am in my home office doing one of my typical functions closing out. The computer software is freezing up. I hear the sound aluminum blinds rustling and I realize I'm dreaming. Perhaps because I do not have blinds here. But I wake up. I deild I feel the vibrations and I see my ceiling up close this is the second or third time recently I have entered a dream this way. I look at patterns on the ceiling and realize that they are probably nothing like patterns of my actual ceiling and they start to form very consistent pattern. I think about how I want to proceed from here and I feel I'm back in bed and vibrations start up again this time decide picture a beautiful view of the ocean. I end up in the ocean start swimming putting both hands in front of me and paddling outwards to move forward. I remember suggestions to just keep going, moving forward, to stabilize a dream and I do this. I also think about rubbing my hands together but then I realize I start to sink and I resume swimming. I
remember my goal and I start to visualize an island after swimming what seemed like a decent while. A small island appears with a single palm tree and I crawl myself on the shore and the dream fades into a false awakening where I write down my previous dreams not wanting to forget but then I noticed that my son is here and and we dropped him off already IWL so I realize I'm dreaming again. I talked to him about dreaming and I say that we are dreaming right now and he says yeah I guess we are...or something like that. Then I tell my wife the same thing and say look we even have visitors sleeping over that we weren't expecting a lady over there and a baby. My wife says nah like she doesn't believe me that we're dreaming. I lean over lady I think she looks kind of like G's friend from last night. My elbow and forearm accidentally touches her down in her private area and I feel awkward wondering if I should pretend like I didn't notice... she looks at me
funny and seems to get upset this makes me lose my already dwindling lucidity it seems...thinking I am awake now I get & hide my DJ before wife starts tying it together with my mistake. The lady notices what I'm doing and says something about what I'm doing being wrong or something and she begins to prepare something with another lady. They put two dabs of something wet on the space between my foot and my shin but closer to the foot in the front of my lower leg or upper foot. I start to think this is weird and she has some occult website up on her laptop that she has and is following along like she's going to chant some spell and I start to say no no no you're not going to do this. She says it makes you feel good. I say yeah the evil can make you feel good but then you start doing things that you don't want to or should not do. Odd!!! This should have brought me back to lucidity. I guess I was so wrapped up in the attempt to make sure I stop them from proceeding. I wake up and write down
the dream for real this time. I can see in my dream journal this morning where as the first part was not obviously. My next dream there's an announcement for all police officers to stay clear of a particular intersection. I even remembered one of the streets maybe both of them but do not recall them at this time and I don't think they are street names that mean anything to me. It seems but that they are tracking someone near that intersection and they don't want any police presence to scare them off. I'm in a room and I hear a knock on the door, open the door or someone else opens the door and someone pops out from out of sight and it startles me and I wake up. It feels like I realized it was a dream right before I woke up but I'm not sure if it was as I was waking up so I'm definitely I'm not counting it. Fragment where someone says salad with spicy chicken chunks is the only choice to eat at this time. I wake up and write it down. I have a number of advanced
dreamlets with with short action and dialogue and I try to grab onto a few of them. When that doesn't work I just observe them as passively as I can. My last dream was not lucid unfortunately but I'm in line at McDonalds or a fast food place like it, and I see a little girl go behind the counter and grab a piece of food. I then notice that what appears to be her father is also behind the counter in plain clothes(not a uniform) and it seems like they're family of one of the workers. He is putting miscellaneous food items in his pocket to eat later I assume. I do wonder how cleanly that is and whether I should order food here. Then another girl probably another daughter is getting food as well and putting it in one of the containers they use sitting on the counter. I wake up and write down the dream. I close my eyes and see if I have any random odd thoughts or images come up indicating that I might still be able to dream but I think it is too late in the morning and I decide to get up.