non-lucid

Date: March/2/12019

This night I had four dreams, but unfortunately none of them were lucid. I do not remember the exact order but I woke up in the middle of the night to try a finger induced lucid dream, which didn't work because I wasn't able to allow myself to fall asleep. I will try again tonight, I sleep at 10pm and must wake up at 5am so I will set the alarm for 2am.

The first dream I had was Vietnam-related. I dreamed that I was in some hotel but I was with my parents, not my schoolmates and teachers in this dream. We are walking for a while and all of a sudden I come across a friend from school, let's nickname him Narwhal, who has a pot full of noodles (not pot noodles, just a pot of noodles). We started eating, but that's all I remember.

I also remember trying to find the villa we were staying at in the hotel, it was villa number 20 and I remember that clearly. There was a villa 22 and 24 on either end, which of course makes no sense looking back on it - an increment of two, and it wasn't even in order?!

This was around the time I woke up in real life to FILD, but I couldn't fall asleep so it didn't work. I'm so close to being able to do it, I'm sure I'll do it one of these nights! I thwarted my own attempt day before yesterday night which was quite unforgiveable but it shows that it's replicable.


Then, I had a false awakening. My false awakening was quite bizarre. In western families, sharing beds with family members might be viewed as weird, however for the less economically fortunate it's more than normal. Usually I use a different blanket or so but when family members are staying over, my father and I must share a bed. I now often sleep on the couch or something instead. This has lead to me ending up sleeping in my dad's bed virtually always whenever he's in a foreign country because his AirCon is so, so, so much better than mine is. In this dream, I woke up and went to my dad's room. He had a packet of those dried Italian sausage things which are absolutely delicious, but this one was kind of three times overfilled for some reason.

I then went to sleep in his bed (I cannot remember whether or not he was in the room, but he was not in the bed), and then woke up a few minutes later to find myself in my own bed. A false awakening.

My penultimate dream occurred in my 7th grade teacher's math class, where I was hearing about how a student in the year higher than me was jumped several times and beaten up severely. I find that math teacher to be one of the friendliest teachers I've ever studied under, so I felt a sense of gratitude toward her in this dream, which contrasts with my current math teacher - whom I absolutely despise and view as an unaccomplished, incomplete, addictive, unsympathetic fool.

How I wish Half-Life 3 existed... it's strange how dreams pull desires from your brain that you don't even recall having, isn't it? My dream featured me playing HL3 as Gordon Freeman, but I was shocked to find that instead of strafing, the A and D buttons caused the character's physical displacement to stay the same, while his body leaned from left to right. This issue was very annoying and I could not amend it.

I then dreamed that I tried to switch the game mode to a target practice mode, similar to what's present in TF2. In the dream, Gordon Freeman and Alyx Vance were present, and I think I even remember Eli Vance - which makes no sense considering how he dies at the end of HL2 - Episode 2.

As a final dream fragment, I distinctively remember eating Haribo gummy cherries at some point in my dream.


Hopefully, I can have more dreams this night or during my evening nap and maybe even induce lucidity.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am Lawrence of Arabia, female version. On a train with westerners and arabs. The train is diverted to a remote village, hijacked. We are taken along. I confront the thieves, but they present me their arguments and we end up staying there, both as prisoners and guests. The men want me and women hate me, both because I am very voluptuous and attractive. I am accompanied by two ladies who are always covering me and blocking the men's looks.

At some strategy meeting, Clara is talking, presenting a project and asking for backup. Everybody rejects it and turns away. I am the only staying and supporting it. She gives up and rips the papers apart and goes to a bar next door. She leaves her purse and camera behind, so I grab her things and meet her at the bar, which is more like a coffee shop and other friends I know are there too with her. Somehow she is surprised that I brought her stuff. Including money she had left on the table.

At my far, the gate is broken, some of my dogs are out. My dad is fixing it from the inside, I go outside and block it with something so that the dongs don't run away. When I turn away, I am now on an apartment of which I can't find the exit door. On the bathroom I see a ghost. It tries to lock the door and trap me, but I manage to escape.
Some brazilian dude rings the bell and I finally find the door. He is pushing some campaign and offers me cake. wants to come inside. I say the house is haunted and he still offers to go inside and check it for me. But I choose walking out instead.

At my university campus, some celebration with live music and tents. I am trapped under and inside one. I try again going outside but they engulf me. I fly through the ceiling, but don't get outside, just to a different place, like an office. At this office, people have their dogs and cats with them. I pet some of the animals. Then some lady has two babies and asks for my help. They are adorable. One had vomited and the other needs her eyes cleaned up. I tell the mom to go get proper cleaning products while I take care of the babies who fall asleep in my arms.

WBTB 1.

(Dream) 2 liter capless, fried egg stairs, (knife), F, alt apartment, night, cars

(WILD) In 8 nighttime, phase out of sliding glass door, accidentally phase through ground too, end up in Medieval chambers, long tables and a closet full of loose weapons (some really unique - twisted wood with two razor sharp small blades, lots of interesting maces, no swords; see guy, attack his head but he's resilient, turns out there's beasts we need to fight, pick up a bow and some rubber tipped arrows, keep asking him for a sword, eventually wake. Was a long (5ish minute) dream!

WBTB 2.

(WILD) In dark room, burnt man interviewing someone (nasty) but as he asks questions he's sketching in some lewd, nude, and (a bit) rude drawings, he goes on to some featuring Mewtwo and I make fun of him, see I on way out, then become lucid and leave the room, transform self in mirror but mirror is inconsistent - not keeping up with my movements or angles or anything. So I take the mirror outside and fly, it reflects the stars and moon well but my face is strangely small in the middle and sort of holographic. Could feel my waking body

(WILD) Not sure beginning of dream but daytime 9 and I walk out of garage and fly towards P's house, I fly fast and high at first, then swoop down load and slow down, and start trying to "summon" an ocean because of comments I told to F last night. Beneath me there starts flowing a pretty big ocean surge, but I try to imagine the ocean in front of me now, and it doesn't, just more and more rows of houses. Slowly the houses start to thin out and I get some wilderness location, and see an interesting cave I want to explore, so I stop (which is a bit hard with my momentum going) and hover down into the mouth of the cave, but it's a lot smaller than it looked from the sky and I just fit my feet and waist in and start looking around when I wake up. Could feel my waking body



Notes: Trying two new mantras together with each other. The first is "My dream is me", reminding myself to meditate on the fact that I can take full control of the dream and not pay any mind to inhibitory thoughts or feelings that may cause me to go nonlucid or break out of a dream too soon. The second is "I wake as I wake", reminding me to lie still and do a state test each time I wake to catch DEILDs and/or do more WILDs.

Date: Between 2005 and 2007

This is a dream I've had a long time ago but it's still one of the most vivid ones. So vivid, that I in fact feel like it's real life sometimes. I was in an antique store, and all of a sudden, the door to the toilet swung open. A huge anthropomorphic tiger walks out of the toilet towards me. I have the imagery of my mom holding my mouth open, and the tiger inserting some sort of dentist tools into my mouth.

early:
+ guy standing under a tree with a car up in the branches which falls and hits the ground near him, and I laugh saying "you have to learn how to pay attention!" and I show him how to pay attention to what's around me and I see lots of little baby owls up on a ledge on a wall nearby

+ standing in home looking outside at the street through a window and I see a brigade of foreign-looking workers arrive and set up what I think is a fake construction project. I think it's a front for burglary. I panic and knew I should have kept the phone number of the security team nearby for exactly such a circumstance, I'm so nervous I can't figure out where it is or how to call them. Later walking outside along a road in between fenced properties.

later:
+ at the river (with wife), is that a stone sticking up out the water? no, it's a fish fin, large round ball-shaped fish, jumps out, swallows my hand, it deflates like an empty plastic bag. There's another one in the water swimming near the shore. See more fish swimming in the river, like trout. I'm holding a fishing rod and I realize I've caught a beaver! I try to reel it in. Then it's on the bank with me and I call to (my wife?) to say how we could study the beaver's habits like how it builds dams.

+ at dinner (restaurant) table sitting next to Mr. R--d (scoutmaster), who concludes "...and so that's why prison is the best environment for me." The food he orders comes... it's chicken wings and onion rings and I'm disappointed. I want to order something. I'm trying to describe a food I want to order like a chicken pot pie.

+ flying DO (with wife?) over houses, looking down on them, see that the residents are not there and that there are open doors I think we could enter that property. Flying on the way back there's an open refrigerator with food particles strewn all about, "what a mess" I think.

+ a bunch of guys in superman costumes standing on a sort of ledge suffering through an unpleasant outdoor group exercise program led by a hot young woman. They all misunderstood because the title of the exercise class had the word "sex" in it. I save the day and encourage everyone to continue and the instructor's mood picks up and continues the class.

+ There are large/funny groundhogs popping up out of holes. Something about an old car? I see a bow-hunting warrior princess and I try to run away from her down a side road but she comes after and chases me. I pull out a knife on her and she laughs because it's so small. I join in and laugh with her about the knife being really puny. Then I pull out a nice long blade and whack it against her bicycle tires.

+ standing in my home looking out a window at the road, and I realize with surprise that I'm seeing a large school yard across the road full of young students playing. I think that I'm only seeing this for the first time because we just recently cut down all the trees lining my property and now the schoolyard is exposed. There is a particularly well-developed young woman in the group walking from right to left and I'm trying to check her out but something is getting in the way.

+ at a home, with kids and wife, the kids are going somewhere with wife, and wife chastises me saying "you have to help cleaning up". "Of course," I answer, and look forlornly around at the tremendous mess in the house, mostly large piles of Lego pieces strewn all over the place.

Date: March/1/2019

I do not know if my FILD attempt this morning was before or after the dream.

My FILD attempt was thwarted by the fact that I was falling off the bed while I tried it, so I woke up and got into a better sleeping position. I didn't really want to continue though. I went to the bathroom etc and cleaned out my mouth and returned, but by then I didn't want to try FILD because I wasn't able to fall back asleep. While I was trying initially, I could hear Elephant by Tame Impala playing in the background. I just woke up at that point and went on my PC.

My dream was simple; I dreamed I was playing Dark Souls and the game was buggy as I had graphical textures loaded, and was playing the Daughters of Ash mod as well. That's all I remember, I was down in the part of the Undead Parish with the Titanite Demon I think, or perhaps Darkroot Garden.

Date: circa 26-28/Feb/2019

I walk into the Spinneys at the town center where I live, and I am in the women's section buying hair products etc. In the dream, my mom is not disappointed at the fact her son is buying women's products, as she agrees with me that they're of better quality and basically the same thing in a different packaging. A little boy, possibly my brother (I don't remember) tries to buy a stick of some sort of cleaning soap and my mom very violently and crudely mocks the child for buying such a little amount in a very jarring move which disturbs the dream.

I pick up several packets of beef jerky and head to the checkout, at which point a gunman decides to start firing shots. This is the point in the dream at which I begin to question lucidity, as I remember distinctively thinking "gunshots would be louder in real life." I do not, however, assume full lucidity and the dream instead continues.

My next plan is to climb up a shelf and remove a ceiling tile, entering the ceiling. I see several people from school hiding there, and I remember the feeling of being annoyed and thinking "damn, people are already here... sucks." This is the point at which the dream ends.

Date: 28/Feb/2018

Backstory: Several days earlier I woke my roommates up at 5am with the Beastie Boys song "No Sleep Til Brooklyn" as I forgot to turn off my alarm (or change it to a song slightly more appropriate than that rap-metal track). For jokes, we agreed we'd wake ourselves up with the song at 7am as it was better than my friend's insistence to play Travis Scott's Sicko Mode.


My dream was simply that I woke up and played the song at 5am in the morning instead. There is not much else to say about it.

The dream took place in the present, but took place in two of my former high schools. The first was at the Sint-Agnes school, on the small courtyard by the street. I told Mr. Ferret how much things had changed, but then I realized it was always that way.

In another part I was at KTA Brasschaat, possibly with my father. I remember running through the empty hallways, knowing exactly where I was going. We also went through some classrooms. At some point I went down stairs really quickly. So quick, I started to hover. There was much more, but I forgot. Later that day in real life, it turned out that there was a high school reunion at that very school, to which I hadn't been invited for some reason.

In this one, I'm on a road with my friend and we're have just come from a party. Now, we are trying to hitch hike to a nearby cricket match!

we try and flag down a few cars with no success, then two more guys hike up the road and join us. Some more thumbing at cars and a truck pulls over with room for us all. We pile in the truck.

One of the guys is worried about losing his stuff in the truck and the driver tells him not to worry. Then, we talk about a few different topics including inflation of products like....bottled water! We yarn with the driver about how the price of bottled water has gone up due to inflation from this amount....to this amount!

Arriving at the cricket match, we pile out of the truck and walk down. My friend is auditioning to join the cricket team or something like that. He goes out to bowl on the field while we watch, then something weird happens.

I'm seeing him bowl from the perspective of two other senior members of the cricket team, a guy and lady. Its like I'm watching their imagination in my own dream mind.

The senior cricket lady watches him bowl and sees a super sexy strong athlete. She admires his long hair ( was't that long ) and gives it a extra sheen and also adds more muscle definition.

The senior guy in charge of the team watches him bowl and well, his imagination is boosting my friends bowling skills! In this guys mind, some of my friends ball actually curve in mid air and one actually bounced twice in the opposite direction before landing in the middle of the stumps. Weird right?

Of course, my friend was accepted into the team and he thanked me for my support. haha

Here

Yet another Jamie dream. (Honestly is anyone surprised by this by now?) Hooray! In this one she is leaving an office building that is the exact one where I was having Dark tower dreams. Where Roland was brainwashed into thinking he was an average Jow with an average Job. Jamie was followed by the red haired fat and annoying woman from the lunch room. She was yelling at Jamie to give up on me. Jamie looked mad and concerned and was walking away. Good on her!

I forgot a lot of non lucids. I'll try to remember some as I write these down.

Jamie Dreams

Early in the month.

3rd person view dream of Jamie sitting by herself in a real comfy looking chair. She appears to be arguing with herself. But then I hear she is talking to voices. The closer I listen the more the voices sound like me. Some are negative and some are positive. She seems annoyed in upset. I try to get through, "This is MY voice." I say something like that. But all the voices argue I am a liar and they are the real voice. While I find her kind of adorable arguing with all of these voices, I know personally how annoying this can be *please lock me up.*

In one dream I am in a bedroom with Jamie. I lie down like we are like a couple going to bed. She looks at me and says, "No." In another dream I find some ugly woman with glasses and decide to try to sleep with her. I hear Jamie's voice in my head say, "Robert no!." Is that what you you wanted, can't have you AND no one else? kidding.

In one dream I am with my dad and we are walking around a city. We go up some steps to a c train platform where my dead grandma from 2010 is. She says to me, "I hope you know what you are doing with this girl." Implying that she doesn't like Jamie. At the top of the step I kind of victory jump. It's like my grandma is a part of those annoying spirits who are telling me to ,"Move on." from Jamie, are finally giving up.

After about a week or so of Jamie not showing up in dreams I then remember one of her where I am trying to light a smoke. My lighter isn't working. Jamie comes up with her own lighter but can't get hers to work as either.Hehe she's trying to steal chelsea's thunder of dream cigarette lighting capabilities. Well: YOU FAILED!!! Really appreciate the effort tho :-)

Some dream where Jamie isn't talking to me and driving away in her car. I'm standing with a woman, maybe her mother, She says, "She really likes you, you know." Really? Why isn't she saying anything?

Another dream where me and Jamie are driving in her car. It's like the old dreams from last year. Can't remember the context of the conversation but she says, "Suicide is never an option." WOW. She's come a long way since the , "Let's commit suicide together," Dreams of mid last year. Good job. Was I being suicidal in the dream? I know I'm not, but I may have been being overdramatic in the dream.

A dream where Jamie is merged with my body or something. Might have been because I was watching a really dumb show on netflix called, "Z Nation." a Walking Dead like zombie tv series that doesn't take itself seriously at all. Unlike the Walking Dead which Is why I can't stand it. Anyway in the episode some Hippy dude takes weird drugs so he can spirit walk inside someone and take control of their body. Maybe I saw Jamie in the dream and asked her to try it out. She kept trying to make me aroused in my own body, maybe to experience the sensation for herself. I get to the point where I almost burst and then ask her to stop. she does.

Got back from seeing Alita: Battle Angel (Loved it by the way.) But after seeing it with my brother I had dreams about it. But it was Jamie. She was trying to put herself in a cyborg body like from the movie. The nurse lady from the movie was there and was saying that the body was having trouble merging with the body because she had no core... Very Strange. I know Jamie had once tried to convince me that she has BPD. and I've read that such people are said to lack a certain emotional center or core. not sure if that's what the nurse meant though. Interesting.


Last dream. Was just me and Jamie lying in bed going to sleep. We may have been groping each other not sure... But, seems she is getting over whatever it was that was bothering her.

Comments: This periods' dreams Jamie seems less happy than the end of december and january. Not sure what the cause of this is. She is resuming some of her affection though which I appreciate. That says it isn't me that's a problem. but she is having problems on her own that she is dealing with.



Other Dreams

Bunch of non lucids where a short blonde girl sometimes with long hair and sometimes with short hair keeps hitting on me. In one dream she makes out with me. these came after me and my brother went to a short concert in calgary where I kept seeing cute blond girls. Some were staring at me and smiling but they were all with guys, so I didn't think anything of it.

Kissing

Dreamed I was exploring some large building with some dark skinned girl. We wound up in a bedroom and started kissing on a bed. She tasted kind of sour, (IRL I have a slight cold so was just probably tasting my phlegm,) I suddenly Had this feeling like I was cheating on someone possibly Jamie. I stopped for a second but the girl looked at me with such wanting eyes that I resumed and tried to ignore the feeling. As if to stop it a bunch of guys manifested in the room on beds. They had donut boxes with treats in them and they started arguing with me. The girl left the room.

Yelling

I kept accusing some girl in my inner world, (Mine and Asuka's daughter i think.) of stealing my DVDs or something. I was filled with rage. Asuka said it wasn't the girl but she has no idea where the DVDs went. I checked the boxes again and they had a volume missing.

*clap* BONUS DREAM *clap*

This one I had a couple months ago. A dream with Jamie I forgot to write down. In this dream we are in The Dark Tower universe in Hambry. Me and Jamie are walking around the town and she is making fun of the accent of the townspeople. She's saying, "So it is," and ,"So it was." Then she laughs to herself.

I dream that earth has been in a large catastrophic war, not sure who between. I'm standing up on a mountain with brother E near a large city looking at the effects of the war.

The war has created a plague of black 'corruption' that is constantly spreading out and over the planets crust causing major tectonic plate splitting, earthquakes and general mayhem.

Realizing that humanity is doomed, we take off down the mountain in our car to have some last minute 'fun'. We zoom around at top speed dodging cars, people and the odd pocket of black corruption floating in the air, a precursor to the disruption of the crust.

At one point, we go inside a house that has a meeting of young people taking place. Meals are being served and the youth are discussing the disaster. We act cool and try and fit in...

back outside we zoom off out of the city and decide its time to suicide. Somehow, we had gotten our hands on some kind of nuclear material in the shape of a gas cylinder. I graciously let my brother, E go first and he kneels over the cylinder while I gas him with the intense radiation.

Just before I do it, something stops me and the dream blacks out...

The next dream in the next dream REM cycle is a continuation of this dream, it seems.

I a member of a primeval tribe that progresses from its base roots in tribal living to the medieval age level of civilization and technology.

Their are two factions in this tribe. One is the founding faction, and the other, a separate group that slowly splits away from the original in both their physical appearance and culture.

Their was much war over the centuries, slowly escalating in scale and violence, many causalities lost on both sides. Eventually, it comes down to a final epic battle in the medieval age.

Our side occupies a Castle that the other side is trying to attack. The leader of our faction screams to the enemy forces, "...and if you keep fighting we'll decapitate your leader that we've captured and catapult his head over the walls to you!"

They yelled back defiantly, "No, we'll save him, capture you and send your heads flying back!"

Diplomacy having failed, we prepare for battle. I'm a high Priest, holy warrior serving in the army. I wear a special 'Epod' vest and wave a holy scepter around with magical incense. Perhaps I was blessing the army and cursing the enemies?

Our troops are readying all their arrows, catapults and machines of war while the leader is shouting out orders.

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Dream fragments from earler:

A lake and a River. Driving a car escaping...
In a city...

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Participating at some kind of triathlon competition and doing very well. I am quite ahead of some men who are favorite. But the tests range from swimming, escaping simulated war games to going to a studio and produce some works of art. I see others painting authentic masterpieces, but all very similar, as if they all came from the same art school. I don't have their talent so I draw a mandala and also make some kenpo fighter doll with materials available. My sensei is in the jury and he is both impressed and amused.