non-lucid

In which I'm an epic bad guy...

The first was some sort of epic fantasy type dream. I can't remember much about it except that it involved battles and tricksters. I got the feeling that I was the bad guy.

In which I'm too ethical to snoop...
The second was that I opened by email only to find that my account had been swapped with my husband's cousin HC. At first I was alarmed that someone else must have my account. Then I realized that there was nothing personal or important in my email anyway. So I decided to snoop around in HC's email account. After about a minute of this, I started to feel guilty and logged out. I called him up and told him about it. This was a very boring dream, but I thought that maybe the emotions in it might be linked to the first. In the first dream, I was some sort of bad guy. In the second dream, I first got alarmed when I thought someone else might be reading my emails then realized I don't have anything to hide. I start to snoop and then correct myself like a good girlscout. So I just wondered if the two were related, emotionally anyway.

In which my father and I are in a jail cell with some thugs and my high school boyfriend...

My father and I were arrested. Apparently we'd done something stupid and illegal while drunk, but this took place before the dream plot started so I never knew what it was. The dream starts with us sitting in a holding cell. It's a wide cell like in old Western movies. There are iron bars on one side with a brick wall exactly opposite. The two short sides connecting the bars to the brick wall each have a small wooden bench. We are drunkards, snoozing on the benches. The bars slide open with a loud noise and we wake up, hung-over. We ask the cop if he is going to let us out, but he ignores us as he pushes in three other men. One is a chubby guy with curly hair. One is short and lanky. The third one, I can't see. The chubby guy sits down on the bench next to me, the lanky guy sits next to him and the third guy sits in a shadowed corner on the bench by my dad.

We've never been in jail before so we aren't sure how to talk to new cell mates. I ask what they are in for. They explain that they've beaten someone up and leer at us menacingly. I'm not afraid of them as we are in a jail cell and there are police officers all around. They give us the details of how they jumped a guy and beat and kicked him until he spat blood, broke his ribs and his teeth fell out. They think it is funny. This makes me feel really sad, down deep in my gut- the way I feel when I hear about serial killers or people who torture animals. It's sort of a sick hopelessness. I decide to ignore them and think about something else just to avoid how horrible I feel when I think about their victim. To distract myself, I start looking at the cops who are processing some more people- standing them in front of the camera for the mugshot and taking their fingerprints. I think to myself that I must've been really drunk when I got arrested because I can't remember any of that. With a shock, I notice that one of the new people the police are processing is my ex-boyfriend from high school- a guy I have not seen or thought about for years. We make eye-contact: me behind the bars and him standing for his mugshot. I look away fast and try to pretend that I didn't see him.

Meanwhile my father is telling the violent trio about how if they don't just shut up right now, he will beat each of them until their teeth fall out. They laugh at him and he laughs too, but his laugh is so crazy that it makes them get quiet. Then he stands up and in a maniacal way starts to act out and describe exactly how he will beat them up if they persist in talking about their victim. My father is not a violent guy and I've never seen him fight anyone, so I was really surprised to see this. He told them, "First I'll attack you, Big Curly Man" and then he explained how he'd jump the guy so fast that he wouldn't know what was coming and he'd be kicking in his skull by the time his friends tried to intervene. Then he'd impale the "Creepy Guy" with a piece of pipe he'd found in the cell and squish the "Little Fellow" with his free fist. By the time he'd finished acting this out, all the while shouting and laughing hysterically, the trio were silent. Nobody knew what to think of the display.

The cops pulled open the bars a second time and pushed in my high school boyfriend along with another guy who I didn't get a good look at. My high school boyfriend is a loser and an odd-looking guy, but I have a soft spot for him even though he is a creep. It might be pity. He looked terrible- dirty and haggard with rough skin and wild hair. He obviously hadn't shaved in days. I glanced at my father to see that he did recognize him. At first, my ex just pretended that he didn't recognize me, and I thought that was nice of him. He was giving me the opportunity to ignore him. But I decided to be mature and civil, so I stuck out my hand and shook his and told him that it was really weird to see him here. He agreed and lit a cigarette. I thought that it was really bad for him that he is still smoking since he has asthma, but I didn't say that. He looked sickly and coughed. I have asthma too so I asked him not to light up in the cell. It was a small space and if he smoked, it would make it difficult for me to breathe. Besides, I was pretty sure it was against the rules. He complied and put out his cigarette, but the member of the trio in the corner lit one up almost immediately afterwards as a sign of juvenille defiance. I rolled my eyes and went to stand by the bars to breathe the fresh air. I was going to let it go, but my dad stood up and walked towards him, snatched the cigarette out of his mouth and then stomped it out with his boot. The shadow guy said nothing.

Then the police came over to say that my husband had bailed us out. Things get fuzzy after this. We left the cell and had some discussion about what we had done in our drunken state the night before. We'd have to appear in court. I can't remember this part, but I remember feeling like it was something really stupid and dangerous though not harmful to anyone. My father went home, and my husband and I went to my mom's house. She was having some sort of party and asked us to help her curl the ribbons on the balloons using scissors. We sat on high stools at a tall round table that was full of craft supplies in a room that looked like a school workroom with lots of cabinets. There were a lot of people there, but I couldn't identify any of them. We worked at the ribbon curling and I told the story of what I did while drunk and how I got arrested. People were amused but also disapproved. I can't remember the rest very well- there was more after that but I don't remember it.

Taken with the other two dreams below, there is an obvious emotional link between them all. In all the dreams, I've done something wrong. In this one, I broke a law. In the boring one, I did something unethical. In the mostly forgotten one, I'm a bad guy in a battle.

I had a false awakening about an hour ago, I was next to my girlfriend and thought I heard her talking to me and I was trying to tell her to wake me up, but she said I was just laying there mumbling in my sleep and then jerked awake. lol.
I had a few dream fragments though over the last day or 2. One with with an x, won't go into details , and the other was with an old friend. I seem to feel things in dreams that I can never feel in real life, I feel this kind of peace with my environment. Another one was I was in a huge downtown building like the one in Inception, and I was walking with my girlfriend. The one after that I was swimming in this cold water (I had the window open), and I was trying to navigate around an old ghost ship. I picked a huge tarantula from the water, and realized it might still be alive so I squished it in my hand, and then woke up.
I have a lot of short dreams at my girlfriends, I can never stay asleep there, i've had 2 false awakenings in the last 2 days there.

Good morning, everybody. These dreams probably all occurred in the early morning, maybe after 2:30 or 3 AM.

The first two dreams had a weird visual quality, as if I were reading them or half-reading them. I think this comes from the fact that last night I read Oe Kenzaburo's story "Teach Us to Outgrow Our Madness, in which one of the characters is a boy who can't see very well.

The emotional difficulty the boy's father has with this and other things is so vivid that I think my unconscious tried to put me in that boy's position in one way or another.

Dream #1

I was half-reading and half-watching a story about a man and a woman at a hotel. The man was in danger, and the woman was trying to protect him. The man and the woman were both spies. The man had probably gotten caught in the act.

The woman had brought the man to the hotel for hiding. She may now have been explaining to the man that he was a spy. This may have come as a surprise to the man, who didn't actually want to be a spy.

The woman may then have made some sort of flirtatious gestures or comments to the man. The man may have understood that the woman wanted to have sex with the man while they were at the hotel. But the man didn't want to have sex. The woman may have, reluctantly, gotten the point, after which she turned to talking about some "serious" topic with the man.

Dream #2

I was reading an email from one of the bosses of my department, M. M's email was written in regular black text, except words and phrases that he wanted to emphasize, which were in bold and colored brown.

The first part of the email had to do with the fact that our larger company was getting to celebrate some royal wedding from a number of decades ago. An old, royal couple would be visiting the offices.

I could see the couple in my head, as if looking at a photograph from the late 1800s. They woman was dressed in a Victorian dress. The man was dressed in a military suit and medals.

M wrote that we had to treat the royal couple very nice because they were major investors in our company.

M's email then went on to say that M was going to be let go from the company in just a little while. He was going to stay on to make sure a couple of big events were taken care of. He wasn't bitter he was getting fired. He understood.

I now saw a tall, thin, old, white man in a lonely office hallway. The man stood before a copier that was set into a niche in the wall. The copier had a strange-looking top. It looked like some kind of animal trap, covered over in a metal shell and painted the same color of grey-beige as the copier.

I knew that, to make copies, you had to drop the papers onto the top of the strange device. The papers would then fall into the copier, as they would fall into a garbage can.

Dream #3

I had been in a room full of people, mostly women, doing some kind of small workshop or conference. The room had emptied out largely, with just a few people around. Now, even though I stood in the room still, it was like a number of months had passed since the conference.

I was looking for somebody to celebrate "the holiday" with. The holiday was like Christmas, but it wasn't Christmas. I asked a short woman if she would like to celebrate the holiday with me. She probably said she couldn't. But then she remembered that another girl, an Israeli girl, was looking for someone to spend the holiday with.

The Israeli girl called me on the phone. I could see the girl in my mind's eye. She was short, with olive skin, and long, black hair. I was really happy I was going to get to go out with her.

The Israeli girl told me something like there was no way she was going to be able to get back home "to West Tel Aviv" (I'm not sure if people make such an explicit distinction as "West Tel Aviv" in waking life). I thought of Tel Aviv and told the Israeli girl how much I wanted to go there. One of my favorite psychologists, Erich Neumann, spent the final years of his life there.

I told the girl something like she must hear people say stuff like that all the time. I told her it must get annoying to hear people talk about her home like it was so perfect, when it wasn't actually very easy at all to live there.

I (false) remembered a conversation I'd had with a woman from another country. The woman had told me about how naïve she thought some foreigners were. They'd say how much culture they thought her country had. But they didn't understand that it was really a scary place to live.

I was now in a big room, sitting on a couch so that my legs were propped up on the back and my back lay on the seat cushion. A pretty, blonde college girl stood before the couch. The girl was tall, thin, slim, and tan, with blue eyes. She wore a pink sweater and dark blue jeans.

The girl was giving a speech about different media-propaganda campaigns made by certain regions of the world to make other regions of the world look bad. She was giving a lot of really interesting examples. It sounded like dangerous information to have. But it also sounded like she was referencing Hollywood in almost every example.

I tried to pay closer attention to the girl's speech. But there were a bunch of girls getting up and leaving, walking between me and the girl and making such noise, talking with each other, that I couldn't get what the girl was saying. Her last example had something to do with New York carrying out a smear campaign against Chicago.

Other than the girl and I, there was only one woman now in the room. She was like a professor and like the girl's mother. She was working at a big desk off in the corner of the room.

The girl now flopped down on a couch near mine. We were something like good friends. But I was now really sexually aroused by her. So I rolled off the couch and crawled over to her couch.

For some reason, I asked the girl, "So now what are you going to do with you life?"

The girl's belly was a little exposed from under the sweater. I had intended to roll up and see if I could get away with snuggling with the girl on the couch. But, seeing the girl's belly and waistline, I just decided to stick my hand into the girl's jeans.

So I lifted up the girl'ls waistline and began feeling her. I was surprised to discover that the girl was wearing a baby's diaper. This didn't worry me too much. I moved my hand farther down toward the girl's crotch.

Suddenly the girl demanded, "What are you doing?"

I thought, Oh no! She doesn't want me touching her. I was so embarrassed that I woke up.

SilverWolf is at my house. We have decided that we are going to go to the desert to go looking for Indian artifacts. We have planned to go near the Mexican border. My dad says to look near his boss, Rachel, house. Apparently she has found artifacts there before. We say that it's a great idea and finish getting ready to leave. He says to be careful because we could cross over to Mexico without realizing it.

We are then in the desert. The sun is beating down and its a little hot. I wipe the sweat from my brow. I see something shinny on the ground. It is a pottery shard. I yell for Silver to come over. She walks over and says now we just need to find an arrowhead. I look up and see train tracks. I hear the train and see it coming. It starts to go by when I hear my dad say, "Allison its a quarter til 7, time to get up." I mumble something as I wake up.

11/17/2010
"Blood in the Water"

I was in a sunlit cove, but deep within the hull of an enormous, old ship. Also on the ship was a coven of vampires, and I vaguely remember a small number of lycans, but I'm not 100%. MJ was with me, along with a few other unfortunate humans, and we were being held in the ships bowels. Apparently, I and a few others were going to be turned, against our will. MJ and the rest were going to be completely drained, and/or eaten. This coven consisted of dozens upon dozens of vampires on board, and only a handful of us. We knew we had no chance of escape, but we were going to fight like Hell.





...It wasn't really much of a fight.

There was a long sequence of watching the vampires just rip through our numbers, brutally tearing humans limb from limb and gorging themselves on the seemingly gallons of blood that soaked the chambers and hallways. People screamed and ran for their lives. The sounds of a slaughter filled the entire vessel. I don't remember what it was, but a few of us - the last alive - figured out a way to blow up the ship. It was something of a suicide mission, but it was the only possible thing to do.





I remember the explosion. The ship's hull had been completely sealed from the sunlight, for obvious reasons. But when the ship exploded, nearly killing me and - as far as I could tell - the other survivors, all of that sunlight was unobstructed. It flowed into the void that used to be an enormous ship, while the ship, itself, was literally blown to pieces. Most of the vampires were instantly obliterated. I was thrown into the water, and remember beginning to sink. I swam toward the surface, as fast as I could, but I kept feeling someone grabbing at me, frantically, from below. It was a vampire, and there were more of them surrounding me. I paddled for the surface with my arms in a panic, kicking my feet - more to keep the pursuing hands from getting a grip, than trying to actually go upward. Luckily, when I got to the surface, I was floating in a bath of sunlight. The vampire completely stopped giving chase. Not a single one of them could swim those last few feet, to reach me. Looking down at the vampires, with my head still underwater, was an amazing sight (though creepy as all shit). The top section of the water was a layer of orange from the sun, and it just got progressively darker blue, beneath. And there were those creatures; just staring at me, descending into the darkness because they couldn't come any further. (It sticks out in my head as the most distinct visual of the dream. I may draw it, one of these days. Here is a photo manipulation, for now. )



On the surface, rescued by a blistering sun, I slung my arms over a piece of debris - exhausted. Incredibly, I had no fear of the vampires being able to reach me, and I completely relaxed, with the lower half of my body still hanging in the water. I looked around and saw no one. There was nothing but wooden planks scattered around me; remnants of the great ship, which was probably still sinking beneath me. I was sure I was the last one to make it out, though I was not surprised, since there weren't many of us left, in the beginning of the end. But I was wrong. I finally spotted another figure in the debris, hanging on for her life, just as I was. It was MJ. She and I were the only ones that had made it out alive.



I swam over to her and we just allowed ourselves to float with the current, for a moment. By this time - seemingly out of nowhere - there were other people in the cove, large boats just floating passed and around us. One would have guessed that the massive explosion had never happened, if not for the large piece of wood we were floating on. We tried to wave people over, to pick us up, but all of the boats just traveled on by, as if they didn't see us. We could see that the driver of one of the larger boats was a man with a shotgun. We called out to him to let us aboard, but he just glared at us as his boat hummed passed, not saying a word. Finally, though, we made it back to land, on our own. The atmosphere seemed to have changed again, and this was now just a massive party; people dancing and drinking in the, quite beautiful surroundings of rock and water. Instantly, our spirits were lifted. We got to partying our asses off, with the unspoken understanding that some serious 'We fucking survived!' sex was in order.



Woke up before we got that far, though.

(Source Pictures can be found HERE)

I was thinking today, and for some reason started thinking of the song "Turn Turn Turn" then I remembered that was in my dream last night. So I checked my music player, sure enough, it had played last night, along with 2 other songs I remember in the order they played. I think I woke up during the first song, then drifted off during it, I remember the following 2 songs as well. I believe my dream was in black and white, maybe a war or something, I just kind of remember something like that, but nothing else other than knowing I heard the songs. They played in this order:
Let's Twist Again - Chuck Barry
Turn Turn Turn - The Byrds
Cracklin' Rosie - Neil Diamond

Also, this isn't a song I have on my music player, but it still made it into my dream. Anyways on a tape I have a version of "What a Wonderful World" sung by a woman, it's a very good version, I don't know who sings it though.. anyways in my dream I found out it was Madonna, and I was kind of disappointed. there was a music video for it, where she was singing, you could just see her face, and it was like misty ghost kind of thing, greyish.

Another dream I had was very strange. It seems almost like I had it before, or something similar quite a while ago... Anyways I guess for some reason Justin Bieber was going to be the main character of the next GTA game... and a demo was coming out, and I was going to try it. I thought it was odd in the dream. And I think it's odd now, seeings as I don't like GTA nor Justin Bieber. anyways that was it.

I had one more, where there were teachers (I guess new teachers in my old school) and they were rated by popularity. A new teacher was rated like 4800% or something, these numbers were green. There were some others with like 50% 35% whatever, green numbers too. There were also some old students, from like the 90s or something I don't know, who were also rated. and some older teachers. Very wierd

Hi. I think I'm in the right place. This is my first dream journal post. I'm excited to keep a log of my dreams and to look at yours! If I'm in the wrong place, please let me know!

In which I seek the help of a Korean snake oil doctor to heal my husband's beetle-infested head wound...

I’m sitting in the living room waiting for my husband to get out of the shower. He walks in, wet with the towel still around his waist. A large clump of hair has fallen out of the left side of his head, leaving a huge bald spot above his ear. He is not bothered by it and explains that it is just male pattern baldness. At first I try to be polite and supportive, but internally I’m struggling with the fleeting nature of youth. I’m only 32, not old enough to have a balding husband! I start to really regret ever taking advantage of having a young and good-looking husband, and I feel like it is all downhill from here.

My husband tells me that I’m being shallow and immature. He points out that there are plenty of attractive bald me. He mentions Captain Piccard and Amir Khan- even David Beckham is balding. I agree, but I tell him that he looks ridiculous with only one big bald spot in an otherwise thick head of black hair. We decide that the best thing to do is just shave it all off; nothing looks worse than a comb-over.

I grab the shears and get ready to make peace with aging, but when I move closer to his head, I see that actually there is a large gash deep in his skin, revealing parts of his skull, and full of marble-sized translucent beetles. He can tell by the look on my face that I’m disturbed, that something is terribly wrong. I won’t let him look in the mirror and instead insist that we rush right away to the ER.

We hurry out the door only to realize that we are living down on of Seoul’s confusing and crowded back alleys. None of the signs are in English and before long we are lost. Eventually we make our way to a main road where we are forced to hail a cab. A golf cart responds, and we hop in the back and make our hopelessly slow way through the city traffic to a hospital.

The clinic is on the outskirts of town in a Japanese style house with a large garden in front full of snakes from all over the world. There are dangerous coral snakes, cottonmouths, slithering rat snakes, giant yellow Burmese pythons, coiled rattlers, colorful boas dropping from trees and herds of tiny garden snakes wiggling between, over and under all the others. Bright blue and orange fluffy cats mingle with the snakes in the yard, sometimes leaping straight up into the air with their backs arched, hackles raised, tails poofed and toes pointed like the typical black Halloween cat on a fence post. The golf cart cabbie explains that the snakes are for the doctor’s snake oil and the cats are to guard the clinic and keep the snakes outside. He drives up into the yard, dodging the cats, with the wheels of the golf cart thumping and thudding on the snakes beneath the tires.

Two volunteer nurses rush outside and help us in. They take one look at the beetles infesting my husband’s head wound and explain that these are contagious pests like lice. We rush my husband off into his own private and isolated room where he must wait for the doctor, and then they warn me to wash my hands and burn my clothes.

I’m walking back down the hall towards the washroom when I notice a young man hiding in a dark corner holding a bobby pin. I ask him what he’s doing, and he explains that he is going to become a master burglar, thief and outlaw. He looks like he is about 14 years old with blonde hair and blue eyes. He reminds me of Leonardo DiCaprio on “Growing Pains“. I ask him why he doesn’t go to school or work towards a more hopeful future, and he explains that he wants people to sing songs about him, like Ned Kelly. I start to question his knowledge of folklore and his romantic misunderstanding of poverty related crime, but I decide it is not worth it. I go to the washroom and scrub my hands. When I come out, I see him at the end of the hall trying to pick the lock on my husband’s door. I punch him hard in the stomach and consider turning him into the police, but he looks so young and clueless that I feel sorry for him and instead let him go out the back door of the clinic. I even warn him about the yellow python.

Back in my husband’s hospital room, I pull up a chair by the door and sit and wait for the doctor. The dream then disintegrates into a discussion about the Krebb’s Cycle which I’m studying in real life.

So I was at school. My boyfriend Chris showed up there, which I thought was meant as a surprise since he goes to a different school. I'm not sure what occassion it was for, but he gave me a boquet of purple flowers (maybe thistles?). I was disappointed, though, because my favorite flowers are red roses. But then my friend (can't remember which one, maybe Megan) gave me a boquet of red roses. I was grateful, but still disappotined that they weren't from Chris.

Later on in the dream my friend and I were at my locker. I wanted to clean it out since it was so messy, but one of the resource officers said I couldn't

just so i dont forget, i went through a tunnel locally where the river goes under the road and it turned into this whole underground complex thing, a bit like the old open air swimming pool used to be like

18/10/2010

most of them were just party type dreams, where i was carrying these girls around but we were all really hammeed and kept falling over. these are the other memorable moments. went to see my cousin who was getting married. some of her blokes family had this weird condition like warts on their hands. i could feel my hands kind of vacuuming the feeling of the warts into them as i did this everyones hands cleared up. i said to everyone can you feel this and they were all nodding and i felt an amazing buzz.

later i went with my dad to see some guy who had a broken roof. for some reason he was not allowed to get it fixed so we were going to try and fight for him to have the right to fix it. as i waited there was a woman with a deli van and she was giving us free olives. kept on missing dream signs and the biggest one was a cracker. walking through a park in the snow and there were loads of king penguins. as if local penguins wasnt enough of a dream sign, then they all started to fly. of course i questioned this, yet the dc's were just doing there best to convince me that it was normal, or that they were different type of penguins and it was all fine

Good morning, everybody. I recall three dreams from "last night" -- although these dreams all come from about the last hour that I was in bed.

Dream #1

I was in "my house," which was a two-floor house. I was in a bedroom on the second floor of the house. The curtains were pulled back. Outside, the sky looked grey and cold.

I may have just moved into this house. I was kind of surprised that I had so much space. I'd never had this much space in my life. Still, the place wasn't huge. It was two floors, but it was rather narrow.

Nevertheless, as I walked down the stairs to the first floor, I thought that people would see a guy like me living in a place like this, and, getting jealous, they'd try to break into my place.

I tried to think of what I could do to prevent a break-in. I thought I would never use anything I owned while sitting near a window on the second floor. That way nobody would ever see that I actually owned anything.

I thought that the only thing I would do on the first floor would be to watch TV, even though I thought that would be dangerous, too. But I figured that everybody owned a TV. So why would anybody want mine, too?

I considered what I would watch on TV. I wondered if I had cable TV. I hadn't owned a TV in quite some tiime. Maybe everybody got cable TV nowadays. Or maybe, I thought, this place was like a hotel. And all hotels had cable TV. I may have considered watching some porn.

Dream #2

I was in a living room of an apartment with a group of friends, none of whom I recognize. The friends were all young, pretty cool. The living room was a little dim, as if it were lit only from a light in the hallway, around a corner.

I sat on the floor before a coffee table that was set against the wall. A stereo stood on the coffee table. Cluttered before the stereo were huge binders full of lists of karaoke songs.

I had one book open and was flipping through the pages, trying to find a particular song. But the book was full of pictures instead of titles. Each page may have had two or three CD-sized pictures on each side. One picture I remember of a person (man?) standing over a dark landscape under a purple sky.

There were so few pictures per page and so few pages in this book, that I thought the chances were slim of my song being in this book. And I couldn't figure out how the songs were arranged: not in alphabetical order, but in some kind of picture order -- if they were, in fact, in any order at all.

I concluded that my song wasn't in this particular book. Somebody may have taken the book from me. I shuffled through some of the other books. I may now not even have been able to remember what song I wanted to sing.

The covers of the binders were all really awesome. They had all kinds of flaming designs of people,guitars, and monsters. Each binder held song lists for a specific genre of music, and the picture on the front represented the genre. Sometimes the picture actually had the name of the genre written above it in fancy lettering.

I finally chose a certain binder, figuring this was the genre of music I wanted to sing, so that the song I'd been looking for all along would probably be in this binder.

Dream #3

I was at "my house," an apartment on the upper floor of a big building. The apartment probably had a living room and two or three bedrooms.

The apartment was busy with a few other people, probably all older than me, some of them somewhat older. There weren't a lot of people in the apartment, but the craziness of their actions made it feel like the place was stuffed with people. The living room was bright, frenetic, and totally messy.

The apartment was all mine, but the people who were here right now were trying to move in and stay here. For some reason, I really wasn't doing much about it.

Just off from the living room was a small, bright hallway. At the end of the hallway was a little niche, in which was set a white, wood chest of drawers. The chest was a little more than a meter tall, and maybe 2/3 of a meter wide.

Some old, short, fat, white man with a balding head, scraggly, grey hair, and a loose, stubbly face, had one of the drawers open and was crowding me away from it. I was fighting the man, trying to get him out of my stuff. This was my chest, and the man had no right messing around with it.

But the man kept shoving me off. He was pouring stuff into the top drawer from out of a garbage bag. The old man himself may have been wearing a weird outfit that looked like a mix between a potato sack, long underwear, a mattress, and a garbage bag.

I looked into the drawer. It looked like there were a bunch of small, empty,glass vials inside. It looked like vials that had once held drugs. I got really mad. Was this guy pouring garbage bags full of drugs and drug paraphernalia all over my house?

Decent night. Working on building my recall and discipline back up.

The Girl Moves Out
1122: A very emotionally charged and memorable non-lucid. I live in the Daisetta house. My roommate is S, a former coworker girl from real life, with whom I had a very brief and destructive romantic relationship. That experience was about a year ago and we've never spoken since. So in the dream, she lives in my house. Her room is next to mine. It's nighttime. I walk into her room. She is watching TV. There are a a few piles of laundry waiting to be folded. On top of the clothing, a couple of cats are hanging out too. I sit and watch TV with her for a while. Her and I seem to quietly accept each other's company. She doesn't freak out or act upset like I am afraid she will. We are actually having a good time hanging out together.

Then she leaves the room, I expect her to be right back. Maybe she went to the bathroom or to the kitchen. But time fast-forwards an hour or so and she hasn't returned. I walk out of the room and around the house looking for her. I run in to a strange man who startles me. I ask: "What are you doing here?!" He replies: "I'm one of the movers." Oh. I realize that S is moving all her stuff out. I walk out and find her in the backyard. We have this exchange:

Me: What's going on?
S: I'm moving out.
Me: But I thought things between us were just starting to be okay again.
S: (shakes her head)
Me: So you're really leaving? You know I'm sorry....

She walks away and back to her room. I stand still for a moment. I am crushed. But at the same time I realize this was inevitable. I probably deserve it. I follow her back to her room. She is packing up things. I start to help her. We have this quiet moment where I sense we are both sad but also realize this is for the best. Soon, she's ready to go. I walk with her to the front door. At the last moment, she turns to me, looks me in the eyes and asks: "Why?" I know what she means. All I can say is: "I don't know. I guess... I just really really really liked you. Too much, I suppose."

She gives me an understanding smile. She lets me kiss her on the cheek. We have one of those I-can't-believe-this-is-really-goodbye-forever moments. Then she turns and walks out to the street where a taxi is waiting. I close the door and reflect on what happened.

Then I think I wake up for real. But my mind is still really wrapped up in the dream, so I continue in a daydream, which seems obvious because of how the plot changes from something natural to something artificial and movie-like. I'm still standing just inside the front door, reflecting on all that is happened. I miss her. I don't want her to go. But I also feel guilty and ashamed. Then I hear the door bell ring. I open the door and there is S. Her face is full of anticipation, like she's about to burst. She says "I really really really like you too!" And she kisses me passionately. End. I suppose that's how I'd like it to end, but it didn't seem satisfying. It didn't seem genuine.

fragment
School field trip to a secluded private park. Trying to watch birds mating. Most people are off playing football. I ask if they are playing a real game but they are just tossing the ball around like 3-flags up. I join and throw a few times. My throw is really weak.

Umm... Yeah... I think I'm dreaming
Method DILD (absurdity)
1237: I'm coming home from work. I'm walking along a bike path. I stop at a public restroom. I walk up to a urinal. I look down and I have two penises, one lined up above the other. Oh, I really must be dreaming. I nose-pinch and I can breath. But I wake up immediately.

Dysfunctional TV Family
1346: Watching TV show on VHS tapes, on the big screen TV from the Daisetta house. The show is about a family with 2 daughters and a son. I think the parent is a single mom. The oldest daughter just finished high school. She had to take summer school classes to finish. The son drinks. The youngest daughter is a bratty and rebellious teen. In one scene, I sense I am in the car with the mom. We are in a grocery store parking lot. She backs out and then goes in reverse all the way out to the street. So we're driving down the street in reverse. Then she brakes and turns hard. The car starts to skid around and ends up going straight forward on the street. But it's a one lane street in both directions and we narrowly miss hitting an oncoming car.

Now I'm back in the house, watching the show again on TV. I am worried that it's getting late and I need to leave soon. I look and see several clocks. On on the TV, one on the VCR, and a couple other alarm clocks on top of the TV. They all show different times. I don't know which one to believe. So I leave the room to find a clock I can trust. End.

Ive seen posts about dream designs matching people theyve seen. My"Zeus design", as ive come to find as the meanings of these symbols we randomly see are from when zeus split the human heart claiming it was too powerful. so i guess id be saying, i think my soul mate has the same symbol as a tattoo on her wrist. anyone with more insight, please help?

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm at the camp I went to as a kid [Not the one mentioned in the catchup post below, another one] with my dad. The lodge is a Marie Callender's [Cool!], and we're going out to dinner there. We get a table and order coffee and cookies. Mom is already there and tells us to come over and join her at her table. She's mad at us for not seeing her when we came in, or looking for her in the crowd. Dad and I get up and move to her table, bringing our coffee and cookies with us.

While we're in the restaurant [I think], I start looking back at old pictures of myself on various camping trips. One of them is of my and several of my Literacy AmeriCorps friends, including Laya, Jen, and Chelisa. The oldest picture is from junior high school. It's a big, panoramic picture with lots and lots of kids and their camp counselors in it. I'm near the far right, next to Erica. [She didn't even go to my junior high.] Those of us who are on that side of the picture are standing near the grassy edge of a cliff; one of the boys on in the picture is pretending to be about to step off.

I wake up in my current bed. I try several times to turn on the lamp next to it, but the bulb just flickers and sputters every time I try. I turn the knob until the flickering stops, tighten the bulb in its socket, then try again. Still nothing. I go out into the hall to look at the digital clock on one of our cable boxes, to see what time it is. It says 7:39, which disappoints me. Aw, man! It's time to get up, I think. Then I look again and see that I made a mistake: it's only 2:39. So, I get my notepad and start taking notes on the dream I just had.

...And then I woke up for real. This time, I remembered to do the nose-pinch RC. I was very annoyed with myself for not doing any RCs before and not catching the FA, especially when I realized that I had missed not one, but two of the classic dream signs, one right after another. My mind is great at giving me clues that I'm dreaming; I'm just oblivious.

After that, it seems to take me a really long time to get back to sleep. While I'm trying to do so, I think, Oh, crap, I can't talk to Cj on the phone tomorrow at 9, because that's when I'm meeting with Frank. I get up, take my laptop into the study, and sleepily start writing her an e-mail explaining that we'll have to postpone our date to talk on the phone because I have a conflicting appointment. I'm working in Yahoo! Mail [which is what I use for my main e-mail account in reality], and press Send. Suddenly, annoying, circus-y music starts to play out of the computer's speakers, and the screen is filled with a weird, old, basic HTML page with a colored background. The page appears to scroll down automatically. One of the first things to appear on it is a single sentence of text that contains my name. This is what makes me realize what's going on: I've stupidly allowed my Yahoo password to get phished by entering it into a fake website, and now my laptop has a virus. I let out a long string of curse words (actually, the same curse word repeated many times). Windows starts scanning my computer, trying to fight the virus.

Mom and P. are coming home. According to the digital clocks on the cable boxes, it's 12:02 A.M. Leaving my laptop on the floor of the study, I go outside to the street to meet them. They're coming home in a red VW New Beetle (where did they get that? I wonder silently), which they're parking on the curb across the street from our house, because our two regular cars [the ones we own in reality] are taking up both spaces in the garage. I come over to greet them as they're getting out of the car. As we walk back toward the house, I look at the side yard and see that there's a bamboo tree that sort of looks like a fountain there. Ooh, that's pretty! I think. P. goes back to put some more CDs in the New Beetle. [Neither it nor the bamboo tree exist in reality, of course, but I didn't realize that anything was strange until after I woke up. :/ ]

I woke up for real at 5:00 and took down more notes. I realized in hindsight that it hadn't actually taken me as long to fall asleep as I had thought; at least part of the process, and everything after that, had been a dream. I didn't actually have any such appointment with Cj, anyway. I was amazed at how completely and totally this dream had convinced me that I was in reality.

I'm indoors somewhere, and I'm wearing a cowboy hat. I look behind me and see my friend D.W. there, riding in a wheelchair. I think, Oh, good, she got a wheelchair. I feel the cowboy hat on my head and think, Oh, yeah, this is a dream. I can feel the by-now-familiar sensation of lucid-dream consciousness. I open my dream self's eyes and look very briefly at my hands, which appear normal, then up at my indoor surroundings. To engage more fully with my dream self and its sense of touch, I reach up to touch the brim of the cowboy hat with both hands, then take it off. I'm sitting in something [possibly another wheelchair, but I don't see it, so I'm not sure]. I stand up and try to turn around and talk to D.W., but just then, I heard my mom talking out in the entryway, which took my attention away from the dream, which instantaneously kicked me back into reality.

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Side notes:
I should choose my MILD affirmations with more care. The ones I focused on the most this past night were “I am self-aware and in control in my dreams” and “I bring clarity, lucidity, and stability into my dreams.” These backfired rather spectacularly in my second dream of the night. It was perfectly clear and stable, and, as far as I could tell, I was just as self-aware and in control of my own actions as I am in reality. And yet, I never realized that I was dreaming. I focused on that aspect more as I was trying to get back to sleep after 5:00, and it worked, if only briefly.

Awake, Non-lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

[These are all my dreams from the past week or so that I hadn't gotten around to typing up and/or posting to this DJ, until now. Most of them are pretty fragmentary because I wrote about them from notes long after the fact. None of them were lucid. My most recent dream, from last night, will be in a separate post, because it's longer.]

Night of November 10-11

I take a lengthy tour of a camp I've been to several times, answering questions asked by people who have never been there before. We're all there for our organization's annual fall conference. There are two cabins up high on a ridge, and a big meeting/dining hall on the low ground, right near the entrance. [I knew it was that camp while I was in the dream, even though it has a completely different layout in reality. This was a pretty long dream, but I can't remember any more details now.]

I'm with Ariel from the Disney version of The Little Mermaid. We're finding our way through a Little Mermaid-themed maze. It's one of several mazes at Walt Disney World.

Night of November 11-12

Mom, P., and I are out to dinner at a restaurant with an outdoor patio. P. asks me if I got any gumbo the last time we were there. I answer that no, Dad ate it all.

I see a two-year-old girl on the street. I walk with her back to my grandparents' house. The front door of the house has two separate sections that can open and close independently of each other. We get into the house by opening the top section of the door first. When we get inside, we discover that my grandparents have a new, upright, Scrabble-like electronic board game in their house. It involves a countdown timer.

Night of November 12-13

I'm in my current house, and I listen to a voice mail from a publishing company. I return their call and talk to them. We try to organize a live interview in 30 minutes' time. They're even willing to give me directions to their office over the phone. We don't schedule the interview for 30 minutes from now, though, because that's not enough time for me to shower and get dressed. They put me on hold for a bit. When they come back, we agree on next week instead. They expect me to bring a completed, polished novel manuscript with me to the interview so we can talk about it, and I don't have one, so I think, Okay. I only have one week to finish one of my novels. My hair is long and in a French braid, and I decide to leave it that way and not wash it before the interview.

I'm with my friend Jane R. She's trying on a cute dress made out of a towel-like, terry-cloth material, and I'm helping her adjust it.

I'm watching an episode of “Rugrats” in which one of the babies helps teach another how to use the potty, and they are found by one of their moms.

When I woke up, I went, Oh. I guess I don't have to have one of my novels finished by next week. Although that would be nice. I think I had that dream about the interview because I was worrying about how I was going to balance writing, studying, and job-hunting just as I was going to sleep.

Night of November 14-15

A Christian band sings a song about their dying dog.

I'm watching the pilot episode of a superhero TV show. The show will have a superhero team consisting of 5 boys and 3 girls. I will be one of the girls on the team. I know this from watching the show's opening.

Night of November 15-16

I'm at a church camp, standing outside the little trailer where the leader of the camp is staying. His wife is sitting on a chair outside the trailer. She tells me that I can't talk to him right now because he's sleeping.

I'm getting ready to leave the camp. I'm in the process of moving my stuff out of the space in and around a twin bed in a cabin, but I'm not done yet. I come back into the cabin to continue packing, and there's another girl already lying in my bed. I tell her that I was using the space, but I'm vacating it and she can have it now, but she has my permission to play with my teddy bears. Three of my teddy bears are lying on the end of the bed [I own all of them in real life]. She answers that no, she'll take the responsibility for cleaning the place up.

A third girl who is also in the room asks me, “Can I at least do your makeup?” I look at my face in the mirror next to the bed and see that it has red blotches on it, and several large zits, including two on the left side of my jawline. I agree to let the girl do my makeup, and we go over to another wall of the room, where there is a dresser with various cosmetics on it. I see that one of the bottles of makeup is labeled inception, and I think, Oh, cool. I didn't know that was the brand name of the makeup I used. [*facepalm* Oh, dear. That really should have clued me in that I was dreaming.] I reach for this bottle, but the girl who offered to do my makeup chastises me, snapping at me to spray myself first with an alcohol-based antibacterial cleanser that comes in a pale teal bottle. I do so, wiping it over my face with a cotton ball.