non-lucid

First me and my boyfriend were trying to choose a restaurant to order food from to have it delivered. As I looked up restaurants on my tablet, I would see a view of the restaurant from the street and it would be empty and closed. It was some time early in the morning, around 3 or 4 am. We decided to order from a place that had some kind of stuffed meat dish and some side item.

In my next dream there were people in a restaurant who were all pretty and wore nice clothes even though those were their casual clothes and they weren't actually dressed up. A Korean woman and a Cherokee Indian woman walked in with a list of ingredients for the chef, a woman with black curly hair, to make a custom Korean/Cherokee Indian dish with. Most of the dream was about a woman talking to two different men. First she talked to a big blonde man in his forties. She bit off part of his gray sweater in a spiral and ate it and then they sung a song together. They were having a good time together but the man told her he wasn't good for her because he has already been through marriage and divorce and she would be better off dating a young man. A young man in his twenties with black hair and black clothes walked in, lamenting about how he couldn't afford his own place and he lives in a guest house behind his parents' house. The woman smiled at him and sat at a table with him while her friends were mouthing something to her across the restaurant about why did she leave their table and what is she doing.

Sorry guys, I thought I posted this.
I was riding in the car to Goodwill, and all the stores in the area were different, I remember commenting on this in the dream. Goodwill was where Pick 'n save usually is for me. When we got to the Goodwill, I had to walk through a restaurant in order to get to the store. When we got to Goodwill, me and my sister were apparently there to start our new jobs.

I've been doing all right with my physical dream journal (i.e. the one I take notes on when I wake up in the middle of the night, or in the morning). The only dream of note I had yesterday was that a former friend of mine was trying to stab me with a knife. It was freaky, and in no way lucid. It did wake me up, though. Before waking up, I grabbed it - by the blade - in order to stop him, and it didn't hurt at all. We were working on a project in my dream when this happened.

One other dream, less exciting, was about a girl talking about college grades. Also went up an elevator with some friends and there was a ghost of our apartment complex? I don't quite remember that, but that's what my notes say, so!

As for last night's dreams, let's see...Not quite lucid, but I did get close on one.

- I was being attacked by a panda, of all things, and a few other creatures or people that I don't remember. However, it wasn't painful at all - I didn't feel anything.

- I was with a group of people. These people were making fun of those who don't like anthro art.

- I was friends with this beautiful lady, who was like a mother in some ways and romantic in others. Anyway, her arch-nemesis came in to attack her. This is where I became close to lucidity: I vaguely realized that I could do anything in my current environment, so I used some magical powers in order to create a shield to stop him. However, he soon broke through the shield, and suddenly my powers became impotent. I was really confused as to why my powers weren't working, and that was about when I lost my almost-lucid state. Anyway, he broke through, and started flirting with my friend and her two daughters - but in a completely inappropriate way. I remember massaging my lady's shoulders to comfort her, and her skin felt incredibly real. Then she started to look like one of my mom's friends in the waking world, which was odd. One of her daughters looked like her, and the other looked like a girl I know in real life. I remember not liking this guy at all, and feeling a lot of anger towards him. He tried to bribe me to let him take away my friend and her daughters, with a gray room filled with all these toys. I believe my dream-friend got sick or something, as she either spat or threw up at this point. I was really frustrated because my shield and my magic had worked initially, and then it all stopped.

- I was at college, but the place looked quite different. There was a lockdown drill, and a bunch of us were hiding in this building. One guy wanted to fight back, so he brought the majority of the students with him to fight. I wasn't keen on going out there, so me, a girl from my school, and a few others tried staying hidden in the room. Unfortunately, they left the door wide open, so we hid in the shadows under a table the best that we could. It was broad daylight outside. We talked about how we weren't supposed to leave as per campus policy during a lockdown. But then we heard these gunshots - our classmates were shooting down some aerial planes and bombs, thus saving us. I guess the threat was from the air. We even saw some explosions (they looked very much like poorly done CG effects, though). The atmosphere of the dream changed from one of danger and fear to one of comfort and relief.

short entry, don't remember much.

My brother, who appears to be a slim guy around 18 years old with dirty blond hair, is trying to kill himself, and I keep crying and crying and trying to stop him. My dad is there too and I think we're both trying to get to him but we can't reach him. It's a very emotional dream. I don't know if he ends up going through with it.

Did I mention that I DON'T EVEN HAVE A BROTHER(not even a half-brother)?
but it felt SO real. weird.
Now I'm convinced I have a secret brother out there somewhere.. which could definitely be true as my dad was a... donor. yeah. ok. im done now.

It's Brittany's birthday and I'm trying to get her some presents. I ended up getting her a 20$ Target gift card and blond hair dye & toner because she wanted to dye her hair blond.

I went to sleep at 2:50 aproximately, and i woke up at 5:30.

I dreamt with my younger sister Sofia, that we were fighting. There was my old guitar teacher with his wife in front of us, who were about to get married.

At that time, while being awake, my sister came home so i stayed for a while awake. Then i began to sleep again until about 10.

I dreamt about being in a classroom. I was with a couple of friends called Fran, i think there were his mothers, another guy called Pedro, my uncle Dario, Vicky and a character from Kids TV. I was telling this character of TV not to give up that he did a cool job, trying to motivate him. And he started to dance and sing, like he would do on TV probably, and we were joyful after that.

The next dream was about being in the icecream store and i had the option of ordering a promotion of ice cream of Dulce de Leche for 35 pesos, and i could have 6 of those, or icecream of three different flavours for 25 pesos. I ordered the second.

Last night's main dream was that me an my brother were sitting in my room, talking. I walked into my closet, and saw a dead person, just laying there. For some reason I decided not to tell my brother about it. A little later, I went into the bathroom, and there was another dead person laying there. I told my mom and brother about it, and I can't really remember what they did about it. I also decided to show them the dead person in the closet, and my mom said something about death coming really close to us. Later in the dream my sister was sitting on her bed, and I was standing with my hands pressed very hard against the bedroom door to make sure that something wouldn't get in. I'm not quite sure what.
Another dream was that someone was giving a lesson about fun things to do in lucid dreams. They were talking about standing on a star and saying all the things you did wrong recently. The person said that you would feel really light and happy if you did it.

3/1/16:
YES. Only 3 days in to my gravity awareness practice I have had my first lucid in months. I didn't exactly use the gravity awareness to actually get lucid but I definitely checked my weight and used it to stabilize in the dream. I'm pretty sure I have forgotten a little of what I did in my lucid as I didn't wake up lucid so the dream is gone a little but here is all I do remember clearly.

Dream 1: I was out in the bush at this large, old house. It was really hot and there was a bushfire warning. I went inside the house and there were two 10 year old kids playing some video games. They asked me if I had played age of empires 3, and when I said I had they peppered me for advice and tips.

Dream 2: I was at Hogwarts, sitting in the great hall while Dumbledore gave a speech. He started talking about this bookcase in the side of the hall, chained up, and how no one was ever to try and look inside it. Hagrid started chuckling, and when Dumbledore asked him what was so funny he pointed out that with the amount of traps around it and such it would be impossible for any student to break in, unless they knew the secret. Dumbledore glared at Hagrid, and spontaneously I performed a reality check, looking at my hands, and saw an extra finger! Suddenly lucid, I get teleported to an old Egyptian dungeon, presumably sent there by Dumbledore or Hagrid. I wander around the torchlit dungeon, testing out my dream body and feeling for my weight, realizing that my body other than my head felt weightless. I rounded a corner and saw a mummy/monster, I'm not quite sure what happened here but I think I defeated him and completed whatever trial I was meant to in there.

I suddenly found myself in my bedroom. I went about my daily business for a while before thinking to reality check. I took a while for me to do so as I was convinced this was waking life, however eventually I did so and once again spotted that my fingers were blurry and there was an extra one. Lucid once again, I walked out into the house and then starting thinking about what I should do. I tried remembering the task of the month and could only remember trying to read the title of a book or to change gravity for DC's. Considering gravity is my focus this month I opted for the later. To find people, I went out and got the car, then drove it out into the street. After some questionable driving I ended up a couple of streets away, where 3 people were walking with some balls. I first made the gravity really heavy, so they suddenly collapsed onto the floor and couldn't move. This didn't effect me for some reason. I then made the gravity really light and they started slowly slowly floating up off the ground, again I was unaffected. One of the balls they had had fallen out and was rolling towards me, so I telekinetically zoomed it into my hand then blasted it off away.

I ended up back in my bedroom again, not too sure how I got there or whether I needed to become lucid again. I once again thought about what I should do, and settled on finding my dream guide. I walked outside my room and thought out "Dream Guide, where are you?" and then I saw an image rush towards me of Sivason's avatar (lol). I yelled out "Sivason!", but then a wave of power rolled over me, forcing me to the floor (just like the gravity effect I was doing on others earlier, except actually affecting me this time) and Sivason disappeared. An image of a large, tentacle Lovecraftian creature appeared in my head, speaking in between high pitched clicks and screams to tell me his name was C'rinka or Jacinka or something like that, can't remember exactly . I asked him for advice, to which he started singing a song that sounded an awful lot like Killswitch Engage, complete with music and all. The lyrics seemed to be pretty generic stuff about love and failure and the world, so unfortunately they didn't stick in my mind.

I'm not sure if this is the same dream or part of a separate one, but I was at my dad's old house, non lucid. There was some gaming tournament going on with all these people I didn't know lounging around and playing on laptops. I overheard two people in my bedroom having a conversation before I walked into the bathroom, only to find that full of people as well.

I'm with a golden haired man with short, slicked back hair. He pulls me in a car and I have to drive it through a underground parking lot. It's decrepit, the cement is stained and pitted, with the metal bar embedded in it sticking out like bones from a carcass with rust leaking out. Part of it is falling appart, blocking some roads. I try to find my way in it, my compagnon not very helpful. He does give me some direction, and we reach a back-end. I turn the car around, telling the man I won't let him get us into trouble if we need a quick guetaway.

I find myself in a house with my family, namely my mother, her brother with his dog, and my sister. They were out to the beach and everyone is tired, my mother sleeping on the couch in her still wet clothes with a blanket over her. I notice a piece of paper poking out of her pocket and take it without waking her up. There's in fact two papers: on of them is too wet and desintegrate into a pulp, bu the other is still mostly whole. I read part of it; it's a very heartfelt letter from my father, written just before or after my sister's birth. It's written on a prescription paper, with the heading of the hospital he worked in when I was very young. It's typical of him, and rather sweet. I carefully lay it flat on the table to dry, feeling lot of love for both my parents.

Finally, I wander outside that room to a living room with french windows opening into a stone terrace with iron-forged garden furnitures. There's a crew of cameramen here, filming what seems to be a business lunch. There's a dozen of people in suit, both men and women, eating an expensive salad in the sun. I'm lurking inside, not wanting to be filmed. I look around the room, there's a desk with a handful of pens and some letters, but I don't pay close attention to it. There's also a big cardboad box. I take off the lid and there's a big, pitch black rabbit in it, on a bed of hay. I pick it up and hold it close to me, it's as big as a cat and very fluffy, with a downy belly. I'm careful to keep it's legs tighly hold so it can't kick, but it's a very chill rabbit and it let's itself being carried around like a big furry baby. I walk to the other side of the room and find a stone wheel going down. There's growling coming from it, deep below. I call in it and something come up; it's sewage, dark and sluggish, with a white mouse swimming in it. I take it out of the sewage, but I didn't caught it properly and it twists out of my hand and fall to the floor before running away. I'm not very sad about it, since it was dripping wet and dirty. I gently put the rabbit down and pat it's head before opening the door for it. It hops out and I go back to lurking next to the windows. One of the people eating, and handsome man with olive skin and strong, patrician features, looks up and away from the lunch and right to me. He seems to recognizes me and his cold, calculated smile turn into an incredibly warm, sweet one. He politly but quickly excuses himself from the table and gets inside. He's tall and broad-shouldered, with cropped, very curly dark hair. I reach up to his face, and he catches my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine. His hands are as big as the rest of him, making me feel small. He smiles and cups my face with his other hand, it feels very warm and slightly rough, probably from calluses. I smile and coyly look away.

[Notes]:
- By simply focusing on HI as I lightly fell asleep on a road trip, I was able to catch some of the following dreams before waking up.

Lucid Non-Lucid Non-Dream

[HI #1]:
There’s something about this indistinct figure (me? clear person?) buying a shotgun. The shotgun was kinda invisible, with only a couple contours being visible. The figure loads a red shell into it (from the side; it was a sideways-break barrel). There’s some notion of him not being able to have it. Glasses, top hat, trenchcoat? Kinda like Murdered: Soul Suspect.
Looking at the same mall as the Harbor Freight, from about 20 parking spaces back. There’s this brown, thick smoke originating out of nowhere, and it floats to the left, leaving a thick vapor trail. It appears to start getting constrained, as if there’s a clear glass tube around it. The voice of mom says “That unattended mule can drive.”

[HI #2]:
It’s a 50’s commercial. Panning back from the Portal cake, with this plank moving above it. A woman says the motto: “Dozens of bunches for every twelve hundred you choose.”

[HI #3]:
This was created by purposefully thinking of a random story based on random thoughts. I would guide it into a dream semi-consciously, letting my subconscious as well as my conscious work together.
It started off with a strange apparatus that looked like an old telephone hanger, but my brain immediately concluded it was a lighter that hung on the wall. People would go up to it and light their cigarettes, cigars, among other things. It simply zapped whatever you put into it. The young, cartoon-ish inventor, in a top hat, looked to “the camera” and said, “Hey! I’ll call it the auto-lighting lighter -- the auto-lighting-er -- the Auto-Lighter!” Poor people of the proletariat (scruffy lookin’ dudes with grey clothes) would enter businesses solely for the use of the Auto-Lighters, and this caused some civil strife.

Morning of January 3, 2016. Sunday.



I am flying throughout my dream (with no backstory in mind) yet I do not recognize that I am dreaming at any point, which is curious.

Mostly, my actions are illogical since I probably could just fly off to my right at any time, to find another location or region to land in, but I do not want to land in any area directly below me yet (or off to the left where there seem to be more forests being cut down), where my attention is mostly held. I do not want to land because the area is a very large lumber camp, which seems to go in a continuous arc, though it is not clear what is off to my right from this arc - probably the ocean or possibly an undefined and unrendered area where I cannot “really” go or an implied barrier (divided by liminal space, though I am not lucid enough to consider this possibility as dream-based) which I cannot go past.

It seems that the lumber camp is very active in most sections and for whatever reason, I sense the workers are very hostile to intruders of any kind, including wayward flying people. After all, they are destroying the landscape, so probably would destroy anything (including people) in their path (as I do not reason they are doing it to provide for people as they likely may be). In one way, it seems like a miniature landscape (of about one-quarter scale), but this seems a possible distortion of my perspective. I do not fly close enough to the ground at any point to see that much.

There is another distortion, something almost abstract but related to having to write something in a journal or notepad (while flying?) while just outside the perimeter of this range though which causes additional frustration. My flight path is continuously aligned to the semicircular lumber camp, which seems to go on like this for a considerable distance. This of course makes no sense, as if such was the case, I would be flying in a circle yet I seem to be going in only one direction in my dream and the land features below are consistently different as well.

---

There may be some sort of association with circumventing and circumference, as this was one of those dreams that seemed to “self-title” itself after waking, something I have experienced fairly often since around the age of eight.

I remembered some short fragments of dreams. Before that I had some dreams that I didn't remember. First I was on a school bus with my boyfriend. There were a few other people on the bus but most of the seats were empty. There was a window open near the front of the bus and a nice breeze was coming through. We liked the breeze. I was lying in the bus seat feeling euphoric because of the breeze and my boyfriend was looking at me over the top of the seat in front of me.

Then me and my boyfriend were in the apartment. I mounted a fan to the wall near the broken air conditioner. We were happy thinking the fan was going to function as an air conditioner and blow cold air on us. I turned it on and it didn't seem to be working very well.

Then I was leaving some place with a friend but as we were walking to the car I wanted to spend more time with him so I asked him if he wanted to go shopping and he did. And since we were already at a strip mall we just walked into the next store, which was a large hardware store. The next store was an auto parts store. We weren't really shopping, but just walking around and talking.

I am watching Tekken on the television and notice the intro was not going the way it was program to. I quickly recalled that in waking life if I were ever put in a little scenario like this to assume I am dreaming. I continue watching and figure out there's no way a malfunction would go this far. I became aware I am dreaming.

Here's a couple more I couldn't write down 'cause I didn't have my computer.

Dream: Night before last
Dreamed I was having Alex (the bae) watch Pirates of the Caribbean with me 'cause he hadn't see it. But since I was dreaming it was a very different account of Pirates of the Caribbean... the pirates were all enslaved by a rather un-piratey, non-sea-related witch. As a result they were all pretty miserable. Then a somewhat younger girl showed up to try to free them all, and for a while I was her. I managed to halfway free the pirates, which got the now-angry witch's attention. She turned on me and I had the distinct impression, similar to what happened with Mr Blue Wife Beater a couple nights ago, that I didn't stand a chance vs her.

This is kind of an unusual feeling for me, because I sort of expected that if someone who wasn't a monster came at me ready to fight, I would be all over them because I love fighting. But now, not only did I not feel like trying to decimate these guys, I also got the impression that I had no hope of defending myself, so both times I didn't try and just got messed up. It's weird. I feel like defending myself should be an automatic instinct, but it hasn't been lately.

At any rate, in the next moment this crazy magic-using woman was all over me, throwing me to the ground and shaking me. And the dream cut back to Alex and I watching the movie on the couch together, watching this enraged magic lady slam this girl into the ground over and over. I was like, "This is just like when a spider's wrapping something up," 'cause that was honestly what I thought and honestly what it looked like, it wasn't the dream putting words in my mouth. It was so violent and deliberate.

When the magic lady stood she looked like a mix between the two of 'em, and the other girl was gone. So either she absorbed the girl, or she possessed her, I'm not sure which. The dream ended soon after.

Dream: Night before night before last
I dreamed about Leffen again which sucks for me 'cause he makes me feel SO insecure. But in the dream he was actually nice to me, which somehow makes me feel even worse... my dreams are just wish-fulfillment trying to convince me that he could actually like or care about me. *gets depressed*

Anyway, I dreamed that I was back in the Cheverly house, in the living room, and Leffen was using it to stream him playing some game. I felt like I was just getting in the way a bit, and then, at one point when he walked out of the room, he walked back in at the same time that I went blind. I was between him and his chair, and I wanted to hurry up and get out of his way, but my vision was totally frozen; looking around didn't change my view at all, I just had this locked-up scene stuck on my retina. I tried to explain this to him so he would get why I was just standing there. He actually seemed a bit concerned, which, when you think about it, is a pretty realistic reaction to someone going straight-up blind.

I managed to feel my way to the couch and lie down. Closing my eyes made everything black, so I stayed like that for a bit, and after a while my vision was back.

So then Leffen let me take over his stream for a bit, and I got on really hoping that his viewers would like me (all of which was unrealistic for a few reasons). The game he was playing was something like... you're trapped in a house with a whole bunch of almost-human monsters who really don't do much but slowly try to follow you around. Even if they caught up to you, they didn't try to attack you or anything, and YET, it was pretty scary. I ran into the bathroom and tried to lock it with a key, which was an almost paper thin piece of metal that did pretty much nothing. Still, I got the door kind of locked, enough that when they tried to get in, the doors bumped inwards but didn't open. I went deeper into the bathroom, which was quite a large bathroom as it turned out, and then lost track of where I was.

Next I was in a locked room, next to a door that had a little window above it that I could crawl through. So I did, and found a couple of monster-humans on the other side. One of them was this faceless thing with rubbery brown skin that looked up at me with a small, gaping mouth. For some reason I didn't find this guy disturbing, but I did have the brilliant idea to jump down on him as hard as I could. And it worked! Unlike some dreams where trying to do something weighty has unsatisfying, floaty results, this time it really felt like I was landing full-force on this unfortunate rubbery brown guy. And I crushed him. Then I ran off andddd I forget what else happened. WOO.

I think not having my computer has had a positive effect on my dreams... Might have to explore that further.

Man, my dreams have been more vivid lately. I've had plenty of dreams where I'm not totally present, where it doesn't feel like my decisions are totally up to me because I'm not really there myself... but lately my dreams have been giving me more control. Feels nice.

Dream: A Game
So I dreamed I was playing some kinda game, like I was on a game show. Everyone was paired up in teams and each team had a different official color. We were red, me and Handsome Jack. Well, he was sort of a combination of Handsome Jack and an acquaintance of mine with similar issues. I don't remember much about the other teams. Actually, there might even have been another person on our team, but I can't really remember.

So the game kinda consisted of a sort of obstacle course. It seemed to be set in an endless white void, or a massive white room, and I believe the first thing we encountered was a great deal of water, a veritable sea. It looked kinda strange since it was in a white room; like, much paler than the average sea.

Our first task was to cross this sea to the plasticky room about 60 yards away, and there was a selection of plasticky boats to use, maybe in little cubbyholes. They looked like those circular snow sled things, but a bit deeper. I think we just had to grab our appropriately red-colored boat, or maybe a couple of 'em, and somehow boat across the sea. The dream might've skipped that part. The impression I got was, the dream sort of thought that boat + sea was pretty self-explanatory, but then realized that my trying to get across the sea with just a circular boat and no paddle would actually be pretty difficult and time-consuming, so it just skipped it.

So we ended up on the island/room, where we quickly encountered SOME kind of obstacle. I kinda remember that there was a large group of people and there was some squabbling or fighting going on. I decided (and I don't always get to decide things like this, in dreams) to wander into the next room, where I encountered a kinda scary-lookin' old guy. And that was kind of important because by choosing to wander into the next dream I was sort of cutting into the dream's story; everything pointed to me being supposed to stick with my group and take the rooms one-by-one, but I instead chose to ignore this directive and try something else. And it's cool that I got to do that, it's been a bit of a trend lately. Hope it sticks! It's more fun when I can make up my own mind...

So I fought the scary-lookin' old guy who actually might've been a zombie, and soon enough Handsome Jack showed up, wondering where I went, and helped me take the old guy out. I'm not sure what the old guy's deal was. My first impression is... shopkeeper. But old and angry and sort of confused.

OK I don't remember too much else. I'm gonna make a post about the rest of my dreams 'cause like, I've had a couple over the last few days but I didn't write 'em down 'cause I didn't have my laptop.

BUSY day today. Hopefully I can come back to this later and elaborate, but for right now, the key points:

I'm rick, some powerful alien babies were orphaned so I take care of them

My mom takes my snake out of his enclosure and puts him in an "enclosure" which is basically just a small dresser. It's terrible. Snake is a baby again. I go on a quest to put the snake in the right enclosure again.

The police keep coming and I have to stop and put my hands up. I always seem to be doing something innocent but suspicious when it happens.