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I told my daughter I hadn't had a zombie dream before, shes always having them...So I had one.

D1 - Protected school with colleague Rob from zombie infestation. We both armed ourselves with frying pans and hit zombies to clear the way for an escape. After some time it seemed a bit pointless, so we decided to dig downwards making a shaft instead. We escaped down into a shelter below and listened via a microphone to what was going on above.

I was inside a school but i don't remember if i was working there or just attending. I also have a feeling there was an African american man who got mad to me but....Oh yeah.... I just remembered something. Lets skip the school part than.

I was taken to a room that had dimensional doors by a boy who reminded me of my younger brother. There I was suppose to find a way to level up but than my dad entered the place mad,telling me how I didn't eat my waffles. I didn't want to finish them because i wasn't in the mood for a sweet breakfast and looking around i still had to find my destined door. Jumping around I also noticed baby pigs hanging around the wooden flooring of the dimensional place.

I than looked at father who pouted and said that God wasn't going to help me because it was my fault. I told him I already knew that and looked at the necklace filled with hearts. I wanted to hide the smaller hearts in the bigger heart but decided that i was playing around too much with it.


Next thing I know I'm at a historical church like building with kids playing around and talking. I'm also a little girl and end up following them. But than the grown ups grab our attention and we follow them outside the building to a park like green area.

I take interest in how the setting looks like. Than I look over at the blue/gray church like building and admire its design. I than look at the park like place as i'm walking and thinking about how dream memories can be altered to feel like you've been somewhere before. However, I don't think too much about it because a boy starts tossing rocks somewhere and tells me to follow him inside. When we arrive inside there are grown women talking about something and I see a tall man wearing a swordsman like suit walking inside.

I find him cool looking and as the older people are talking I grab him and show him somewhere else. People start wondering where I went than I hold the guy so he doesn't leave.
It than becomes a drama scene where the older women suspect him of child manipulation. He trys to explain but I kiss him. He still manages to break free and try to explain what happened though.


Once again the dream shifts and i'm in my older brother's room with family members from my mothers side and were all holding a bible. Supposedly we had just come back to worship God again from being lazy. But even when were there we seem not to be paying full attention to studying. I than notice a rose on my book and begin to play with it as people talk casually about something. But than a lady notices and points out how careless i was to mess with the rose that was starting to wilt.

I got up and decided to go since i felt like i had been there for a while and ended up in the backyard. I found a boy there and told him to come back inside. He said ok but than i saw what looked like a spirit of a girl, shouted for him to run inside, than ran myself.

Somehow I ended up inside the bathroom though looking at different sinks with soap at different corners. There was a voice of a girl saying how she rubbed a girl's face too hard with soap. I laughed a bit though at how dum the other girls were to let someone wash their face with soap like a massage. Than it occurred to me that i had to get out of the house because i wanted to go somewhere else.

I ran upstairs and was grabbed by a outline of a girl dc and ended up pushing her. Trying to leave with the thought of intent but failed to leave the house because i ended up warping back downstairs and than waking up.

After writing down the dreams from earlier I took a nap. Note: The dreams from earlier happened in five hours, and the nap occurred ninety minutes later.

I don't suppose that I have been working hard enough to set a lucid dream intention, because even though I had a LD it was disappointing, in a way. Almost because of my nightmarish personality in it, and not because I didn't get done what I wanted to (I can do that good stuff tomorrow).

I'm not sure how I became lucid; all I know is that I was in the dream and just was. In the dream my mother, Dakota, and Jon all lived together (which is correct). I was in my bedroom doing . . . something, but then the rest of them all went with one of Mama's co-workers for their birthday party. When they were leaving out I looked out a window and Dakota had nailed a fake book to his finger (it was like a piece of jewelry, so imagine it like a very little book that was a ring) and wrote a long message on the ground. I don't remember what it was, but I remember that Jon was telling him he should probably be really careful to make sure that the "ring" didn't get infected.

When they were gone I proceeded to choke a cat. Seriously. The poor kitty was terrified but I kept going . . . and then when I guess it just got too scared for me and I felt guilty I turned it into my own dog and kept holding him. He was scared, too, but I kept trying to hold him and comfort him. It worked a little bit, but not much.

I believe it was at that point when I wasn't quite sure if I was dreaming anymore. I knew all of that had been real, but I wasn't sure if I had woken up. The more I walked around, however, the heavier I felt, and the more convinced I became that I was indeed still dreaming.

I went back into my room to put on a skirt so I could be a whore outside ???????, but instead I went into the girl's bathroom. It was fairly big and was more like the kind of bathrooms that schools and Wal-Mart have. There was a sign at the door that was written to parents about their children acting up, but I didn't pay too much attention. My mother called me, and so I woke up.

(Continued.)

Dream 4: It's the end of the world again, but this time I'm Remus Lupin. I think I'm/he's a bit younger than what he is usually presented as--perhaps in the twenties. It was, once again, the apocalypse, but it was a planned one. Everyone had a choice as to how they would die or leave Earth. I remember that at one point when I went outside I looked up to see a huge floating restaurant, with bright lights and expensive food. A triple-decker bus then flew by and picked several of the people there up and then flew away, but a strong wind (or a tornado in the air, or a black hole, or something or another) then knocked the rest of the people off, and then I could see the bus following them not far behind.

I ran off and into the main part of town, where I could see several different shops and houses. Many of them were from Harry Potter, and others were from the real world. I think I was scouting around, but I can't be too sure.

The dream then changed positions for just a bit, and I was me again watching Dakota play Final Fantasy IX. I don't remember much about it, except he was in a grassy place and every time someone talked he would listen, unless it was from one of the "extra" characters, such as the knights and servants of the main characters.

I was then back to being Remus, except instead of my hometown I was on the streets of London. I felt like it was a game (how is this a game, really? <--- look, I was almost questioning things!) that allowed me a lot of freedom. I remember seeing one shop that had two others, including a lemonade stand and a Davrish and Banges.

This is continued from the previous entry!

Dream 3: My dog was a fluent speaker and he and I often had conversations, so long as he was sure that we were the only ones there. Now I can't remember what we would talk about, but I do remember that I never told anyone, even though I really wanted to. You see, my dog could talk because he was actually Kevin Bacon, a tulpamancer [I don't know.].

One time the two of us (my dog and I) went to a cathedral and spoke for a really long time, but then some church-goers that were somewhat older came in and seen us. They didn't hear him talking, but they did pull up something or another that was supposed to tell me how I really feel (or something; I really can't remember this point very well). One older man was confused, but a middle-aged woman, who I think was my old school's librarian, told him that I was "always like this" and not to worry about it.

I finished whatever they wanted me to do, went out--and then I think I went back in, because the things that happen next happened in a cathedral; no one was there, though.

Romeo and I were talking again, but this time Jon and Dakota came in the door. I suppose I could no longer hold the secret after years of doing so well, because I got Jon to the side and explained to him that I talked to my dog--frequently. He got this wide-eyed look about him and proceeded to tell me that "It's okay, everyone's insane about something." I tried to get him to believe that I wasn't crazy and that Romeo really could talk. Jon seemed to believe me, but I really couldn't be sure. Shortly thereafter Dakota came to join us so we could tell him. I explained to him further that Romeo was actually Kevin Bacon, and he seemed to accept that.

You guys, I'm really disappointed my dog can't talk. XD

Dream 1: I dreamed something about either the car crash I had the other day, or something to do with it.

Dream 2: It was the end of the world, and I was Harry Potter. The dream seemed to take place at my old school, and it was at night. We (students, teachers, Order of the Phoenix, etc.) had just defeated someone--presumably Voldemort and the Death Eaters. This was a much more wide-spread defeat, however, and there were quite a few Death Eaters that had gone to our side. At one point we were all running across the school, and some were hopping in their cars. We all had to meet up over there to "finish the job." I seen Lucius Malfoy, who had been one of the people to join us, running, yelling, "I can't believe he didn't believe me!" He said it joyfully.

Remus Lupin was a distance behind him in his car, and he was also happy. He slowed down as he came to me and said, "I've asked at least twenty-one people if they're really on our side." He then asked me if I wanted to catch a lift with him.

"Nah man, I'm just gonna run," I said (keep in mind that this is Harry Potter, also).

I did run. Fairly fast. Just under thirty miles-per-hour.

I wrote a letter to a woman who was a family friend. I got her contact info from my dad, though he was not in contact with her. In my dream she was a high ranking person in the Pentagon Credit Union, and my dad said he was a member but had not voted for her. I got a letter back but I wanted my dad to not be in touch with her because I thought it would be awkward if we both contacted her. He did not want to anyway.

I was visiting my dad finally. Got up in the morning, did not see my dad but saw a teen who in my dream was my stepbrother. Also saw two dogs and a cat who resided there (also not there in waking life). The cat and dog scene looked wild. I wondered where my cats were which in my dream I had brought with me for the visit.

Now I'm way behind on DJing due to late nights hanging out with our guests and lots of car trips showing them around.

2015-09-15 very vivid dream
+ I'm walking up the hills in my childhood neighborhood, talking to people, I come across a grocery store meat counter (empty) and I'm saying usually there is meat in there.

Enter some house and while slightly dark everything is amazingly clear. I'm in a room with two grand pianos right next to each other, and I go "oooh!" at them, I'd love to play them. The owner of the house is clearly a musician, it looks like a music studio room, there are folders of music all around the place. I look down (through a window?) on to an open room a floor below and there is another beautiful grand piano there, and I say "ooooh!" again. I glance out the various windows facing different directions and out of each one I see beautiful views of trees and water in the distance, and say "aaahhh!" at the lovely scenes.

I'm now down in an large open floor plan area, a kitchen/dining area, there is another piano here (the one I saw from above?), and in the distance I see the realtor scurrying around trying to stay out of my way but also interested in what we think of the place.

I come to the keyboard and look at it, the keys are very odd, quite thin (like chopsticks) and oddly curved like the teeth of a "Pau'an" alien in Star Wars. I think of trying to play the Beethoven: Sonata "Pathetique" Op. 13 - II. Adagio cantabile movement [which at one point years ago I could actually play all the way through from memory]


But I can't play it because the keys are too thin, and looking at the keyboard I notice it's not as wide as a normal piano keyboard, either.

Then the realtor is there with our group and is quoting us a price for renting the house that the owner wants: about $900 per person. One of us says "no, no," that is way too high, for that price we could go to Paris for 3 weeks. I think I wouldn't want to be in Paris for that long.

The dream ends with me back outside, now DO floating over water, watching two little girls swimming in the water of the Bay, near a rock, just outside the house we were in. I know they are the daughters of the owner of the house. One girl is about 5, and the second one is a toddler swimming with her older sister. I think the salt water might get into their eyes. They are Indian (Asian) ethnicity.

+ (f) (maybe different dream?)
I'm sitting in some sort of kitchen area working at trying to assemble something on the table in front of me. The owners of the house come by, two Asian women, one of them picks up her keys from a plain set of standalone high shelves, they say something.

2015-09-16 no recall: fair amount of dream activity, but it all receded just beyond my ability to remember any details.

2015-09-17

+ in a parking garage, I'm trying to "reserve" a spot by standing in it, there aren't many cars yet. Outside, a guy becomes aggressive and I have some altercation with him. Later I'm in my apartment and I know he's coming so I go outside to lock my outer 2nd door, and I mistakenly close the outer door and throw the deadbolt (from the outside) and I realize I'm locked outside and the enemy guy approaches. I'm holding my musical instrument which is put together strangely with some sections upside down. I'm trying to reason with this guy despite really not liking him.

+(f) I'm telling someone where something is. There is a wide mountain/hill range in front of us and I'm gesturing and describing the place as being just on the other side of these hills.

+ "sex" with TZ:

Spoiler for sort of sexy action:

I come across her lying on the ground in half-lit area, she's wearing red shorts. I get on top of her and she thrusts her hips up into me, which makes me "enter" her (through clothing?) and we go at it for a few seconds, not much sensation.

+ Angband dream! Overhead map view, I was toodling around a map level, decided I should quaff my Enlightenment potion (actual item) to fully map the level and see all items, landed in some "magic dampening" corridor/trap (not in the game), and was reading about a pool of "coagulated" something that produced a scroll that if you read it would boost your mana super high against a particular monster(?). I wondered if there were magic-impairing terrain if there were corresponding melee-impairing terrain for warriors.

I'm at some sort of retreat, and I'm on a break outdoors, spending some time by myself. A van with a logo painted on the side stops at the side of the road, and I walk up to ask what's wrong. The driver says that he's making a delivery to the local Co-op, but he can't find it. I look over the hill in a couple of directions, and, as it's a dream, the Co-op appears on the horizon. I point it out to him and he moves on.

In a hall made of stone from the floor to the ceiling, Dumbledore gives instructions about the tournament. At the beginning of each round, we pick an element, and then we have to use that element in a free-for-all to tag the other players. If you're tagged, you're out of the round.

I start the first round with a more difficult element that I'm used to (air, I think). I'm mostly focusing on complicated defensive uses of the power, and I'm out of the round fairly quickly. Irritated, I prepare for the second round, bringing up a wall of flame.

I'm visiting the IT department, and I realize that they actually have a desk for me there. I tell them that I've had a desk upstairs for some time, and that I'm actually leaving the company in a week (in 2013), so they can probably give the desk to someone else. The desk has years-old mail that's been waiting for me, so I start going through it.

There's a certain type of fight that exists in fiction just to show off how overpowered the major players of a setting are, compared to the main character. This is one of those fights: Maleficent versus Dumbledore. Only... Dumbledore hasn't shown up, and I'm the only one standing in her way. I drop my hands to the side, palms up, and burn with power, until suddenly I'm Maleficent as well. (I have a moment where I go through: wand, wandless, crook staff, staff with bobble on the end—perfect.) I bang the staff into the concrete, sending up a shockwave at my opponent, and twirl the staff around into a ready pose, lime-green light streaming from the tip. Bring it.

My brother talks me into following him to a pool, but it turns out that once you've entered the pool area, you can never leave. I walk calmly over to one of the glass windows, face it squarely, and punch it. A crack appears in the safety glass. I punch it again, and again, until we're running over the roof of a park canteen/cafeteria to get away.

I realize that I forgot to post in the class discussion forums this week to get my participation mark (even though the class is over...)

I've left my glasses somewhere, but I know that searching for them the traditional way in a dream is a lost cause. "Accio, glasses," I say, and they fly into my hand from wherever they were hiding.

Read only the last 2 paragraphs if you want the part that is not extremely boring.

I had a vehicle from another dream, I am not sure if it was lucid or not. The vehicle is round and only 1 person fits inside, it has some buttons for flying. and it doesn't have a window. You just sit inside and fly. It goes faster backward and forward, it's a bit slow and has clumsy controls. At least in the 2 dreams I've used it.

I am not sure how it started, or how I got the flying vehicle, but I just started flying. Then there was this guy in a black suit and black helm on a black bike chasing me or following me. I don't think I was running away from him, he was kind of following me around. I stopped somewhere because there were 5 girls. I wasn't planning to have sex, I don't think I was planning anything, I was just like "hey, girls! Let me take a look" and I was trying to judge them to see who I should take with me. I wasn't clear headed here, I should've known that she wouldn't fit in the vehicle, or maybe I wasn't interested in flying anymore, I don't remember. My vehicle was parked on the side of the road and I think it looked like a bicycle or motorcycle.

Then the guy in the black suit walked to the vehicle, I think to steal it. Then I got onto the vehicle and raced away. I thought he wouldn't be able to catch up with me but he did. He had a pretty cool bike. So I went up in the air so I could go diagonally whereas he had to follow the asphalt road and go like this _l But he was still too fast so I just went back and forth in this block. So he kept going _l and I went back and forth across this block in a diagonal line. The block was a grass field with trees, probably a picknick site. Then he somehow started flying too.

This is where it gets weird because I don't remember what he looked like. At the end of this he was a black bird about the size of a large pillow, I don't know what happened to his bike, if he flew with it, or if he flew as a person, I don't remember his shape at all. Just that he was all black (I saw no skin). I tried to fire a magic ball at him and I spent some effort to charge it but I don't think it worked. His name was with a Z and I realized that it was 1 letter short of a bird name. We were fighting but somewhere he became a dead black bird.

So I took the corpse of the bird, spread the wings and assumed the same position it did and started diving downwards. I did this because I was high in the trees and I always have trouble flying downwards, I actually got very irritated, thinking "awww damn it I am up here again and can't go down", and I find it scary to fly high, so I was afraid that I'd go even higher, which is what always happens. But I was very excited to find out that the bird allowed me to fly downward in an angle. I could feel the wind and the speed was picking up and right before hitting the ground I went back upward, quickly made a backflip-like turn so I wouldn't go back up too high. But I was pretty high above the clouds, and the awesome thing was, I was not scared! And it felt nice and the view was awesome. And somehow I could fly properly now without the bird so I looked around to see where I should go and I went to a water theme park. I didn't do anything there and it ended. I felt like I gained some flying skills when I woke up = D

The dream lasted about 15 minutes I think.

I had 2 boring non lucids which I wrote down on my phone in order to get better at recalling dreams but I won't write them down here and delete them from my phone.


Thank you for reading!

I repeated this mantra before sleeping: "If I see a girl I am inside a dream" Which makes a lot of sense because it's been that way for a while...

You might be wondering why I include insignificant details, I do that to improve my recall. I feel like every detail I record adds some experience/skill points.

The night before last night:
I don't remember how or when I became lucid. I remember it as though I was lucid from the start. It was not very vivid (it was like a room lighted by a fairly weak light source, but not exactly) and I was not very lucid. (With lucid I mean clear headed/self-aware/knowing that I am dreaming and can do anything I want) Some people would call it half lucid. The dream lasted about 20-25 minutes I'd guess though it may be about 30 minutes.

I was just walking around at first and remembered to not get excited and just breathe, try to be aware of things, clear headed, and remain lucid for as long as possible. Which is my only real dream goal, even though I have things I want to do, for now I just want to improve the stability and length of my dreams. But ofcourse I'll kiss/hug a girl (or have sex) if I see one or I'll fly/use magic if I need to/feel like it.

About 3-5 times in this dream I felt it slipping away (I don't remember why) and I was going between FA and the dream. I was able to will myself back into the dream by relaxing, breathing and somehow immersing my mind in the dream landscape or my dream body.

So in my half-lucidity I forget my objective and just went looking for a girl. I found her in a big house/inn/restaurant, she had non-volumunious blonde hair (I don't remember what style), fairly small green eyes, she was a bit shorter than me and didn't smile much (0/1/2 times) and it was explained or I somehow knew that she was the girl who accompanied lucid dreamers. Not as an escort, but just as friendly company. We walked around a bit, not doing much. 2 Or 3 times she somehow disappeared. Once we were wearing coats and when it wasn't so cold anymore we took them off and when I took her coat off she wasn't in it anymore. Weird. I found her back, and one other time she just walked away. She also didn't talk and seemed to be bored :P We sometimes held hands.

I went outside and saw a fight going on between some people. I don't know how I spotted the bad guys. I tried teleporting but that didn't work so I ran toward them. I threw some small projectiles, I had 3 or 4 sharp objects but I don't think they were knives. I concentrated to aim and throw hard but I missed all throws. I don't remember how the transition happened, suddenly I was fighting 2 hollowified Ichigo's (different forms). So I tried charging a Getsuga Tenshou (from Bleach) and I thought "if I see any red around the sword I'll shoot it" and I didn't get any red. But I swinged my sword anyway and somehow even without the red it did some damage. They had some long weapon or long white thing and I attacked that with 4-5 Getsuga's and somehow it did enough damage and I felt like I won and the dream ended. I think their weapon cracked open a bit. I don't remember carrying a sword either, I was just swinging my arms. Dreams are weird...

A nonlucid dream that night was with waterslides, it was boring and I don't recall it clearly.

Another ND where I saw something in the distance, momentarily the treetops seemed to become purpleish and/or change shape to show some eyes. Me and someone else got closer and it was an invisble monster but I somehow decided it was Metalgreymon, about house-sized. Then it sort of become less invisible, like when you see the outlines of something camouflaged. I don't remember much from this either.

Another ND where my aunt had made some tasty foods and asked if I wanted to take some home and I liked it but I was a little shy so I said no.

Another ND where some police was telling kids about a thief and that they should watch out for it. And maybe they can catch the thief when they grow up.

Another ND with a girl I had a crush on last summer. I tried to make some jokes and catch her smiling, because her smile was what I liked so much about her, but she didn't laugh.

From now on I won't record these boring ND's, it's not worth it.

Black: non-dream
Blue: non-lucid
Red: lucid

-I remember mountains in my first dream
-The second dream had like 4 stages of something... I can barely remember more than that. Some fat guy walks past me in a room that I was sitting down in.

Had massive trouble recalling these dreams, I managed to recall that last one 5 times because I kept forgetting it. It was honestly pretty brutal trying to recall my dreams for some reason.

Had tried out a new 'technique' which didn't work, I don't think it's the kind of technique I'm compatible with. It was something along the lines of falling asleep while thinking about something new you wanted to do in a lucid dream, something that really excited you. One try isn't enough to fairly decide but I just can't see this as something that would work for m

Dream 1

I was with a girl in a really dark place. I was trying to type in the password to her computer, and I figured it out. Also there was a mansion somewhere, with a huge atrium. That's all I remember.

Dream 2

I was in college high school, where it was sort of like high school in that everything was in one building, but it was also like college in that everyone could choose to go to class at different times or not at all. I remember one of the people I went to high school with (he was also possibly a nazi, but he didn't really do much as one). After one of our classes together, he invited me to go smoke weed with him and his buddies. I said yeah. He gave me his number and said he would give me more details about it later. I then started walking to a town farther than my weed-buddy's condo (i think it was one). It was downtown of a town, and there were lots of stores and crap there. There was also a big tower that looked like the one in Seattle. Eventually, my weed-buddy texted me back to be there at five. I realized I had a class at that time and said I'd be there anyway.

I remember it almost being five and walking back to his condo. I went in and found him in the lobby or something. There were a few girls with him (one of them from my college hall irl, I'll call her V). We all went up to our friend's place after talking a bit and started smoking weed and drinking a bit of alcohol (possibly). Later on, we all started talking about having sex (in an orgy). Soon, we did have an orgy, but I never took my pants off. I then started 69ing V, with my pants still not off.... Later, after the sex, we went to a party in a lounge, and I told someone I never had a girl touch me. Then a girl with glasses and a blonde ponytail said she would give me a handjob, and she did. It felt good.

Later at this party, there were a shit ton of people. Everyone got drunk and we all started playing that game where the floor is hot lava, and we were jumping on couches and what-not. After the party was over the next morning, I needed to find my school stuff, and I asked a guy where it was. He responded with hostile remarks and said that "I wasn't good at 'floor-lava.'" I then became semi-lucid for a few seconds and said "die." I threw a couch at him, and he flew away from being hit by a couch. I was sucked back into the dream, forgetting it was a dream, and was transported to the principle's office. I was telling him about the incident. The end.

A bedroom

I wake lying on my side, which is uncommon. I am greeted by three zombies scratching toward me. Ugh, not this. With a gesture I push them away. The room is lit by one long window opposite me, so the zombies are only in silhouette. They obey my command, turn and walk at an orderly pace toward the window. There is a shelf below the window and the zombies climb on it and sit, like a row dolls. Further away, I command. They crawl out the window and out of sight.

There's not much else to tell about the room. The window is covered by a sheer white curtain that lets in filtered light. I compel the sun to rise outside and the window gets brighter but it doesn't improve the ambient lighting in the room much. How about some better company? A woman appears on that same shelf in front of the window, again in silhouette. I notice her long legs most prominently. She begins to walk toward me, but she looks like just a shadow. A bit uncertain, The Dreaming shudders. My lucidity slips and time skips.

Another bedroom

Now I am in a different bedroom, but still lying on my side. The light is a bit better here. I make out some furniture. It seems like a child's bedroom. The window has moved to the wall at my feet and there is a door to at the head behind me. Through the door I hear my mother and sister. I groan. I should have stuck with the zombies. I roll out of bed and through the door, which opens to a dining area and kitchen.

A kitchen

There are my mother and sister. My sister is panicking and arguing, as she always does. My mother is making excuses and casting blame, as she always does. I have trod this corner of my psyche much too often. And while I don't like it, I've learned not to fight it. My sister is my Self-Righteousness. My mother is my Cowardice. It does nothing to fight them, as it only fuels their insidiousness. Instead I have learned to counter them by cultivating their opposite positive forces: Empathy and Courage. But I am no saint, so often the best I can muster is Apathy.

Their bickering is briefly interrupted by a woman who seems to be the owner of this home. We are guests visiting from out of town. The woman is middle-aged and has two kids. She explains that it is time for their family to go, but we three should stay and look after the house. They will be gone a few days. I intuit that the reason we are visiting is so that we will all attend a big party, like a reunion. The woman and her kids leave. Mother and sister resume bickering.

Time skips ahead another day. My sister brings in the mail, which includes some thank you cards with photos from an event.

"Look at the times on the photos!" My sister gripes. "This was yesterday. They went to the event without us!"

"No! We didn't know!" The mother retorts. "The WiFi was off and we couldn't see the date."

"Maybe they don't like us and they ditched us." I offer, partly with sarcasm, but also an invitation to look inward for the reason. "Or maybe it's our fault that we didn't know to drive separate yesterday." Not wanting to say or hear more, I return to the bedroom and lay down.

A bedroom

The family returns. There is commotion in the next room, but I don't catch all of it. More about the WiFi is all I hear. My sister enters and hands me my wallet and Social Security card. "We need to get ready to leave," she orders. I put them in my pocket but maybe they get lost in the bed sheets. I find it odd that I would be carrying around my Social Security card.

Then the two kids enter. A girl and a boy. This must be their room. The girl looks at me through the headboard, which is a metal frame with narrow vertical bars. "Is this your bed?" The girl asks. Before I can say anything, she teases, "If it is, AT&T must not like you because you've only got three bars!"

I look at the bars of the bedframe. Indeed, many of them are broken or gone. I look to my sister and ask "Wasn't this your bed a long time ago?" trying to move the conversation to something light. The bed reminds me of her old daybed and I suppose it to be a hand-me-down we have given to this other family.

"Yes" my sister replies and she goes on talking with the kids about who-knows-what.

I roll out of the bed, careful to refind my wallet and Social Security card which fits in a little sleeve. I wonder about what the girl said. I get bars but why AT&T? They don't make beds. Beds. Bars. Oh, bars like signal strength bars. I turn to her: "I just got that. Three bars."

She gives me a goofy face, as if to say "Duh" and turns back away. What a brat. It was a mildly coherent joke and occasionally dream characters surprise me with their wit so I do try to acknowledge them when they do. I could do without this girl's sass though. Oh well. Nothing to get bothered about.

I turn to the boy, who is the younger sibling and sits of the floor playing with a toy. He is quiet. I form no other opinion about him, but can say that "quiet" is a good trait for a child.

The dream is fading. My sister gives me a look like "It's time to go." I double check my wallet and Social Security card. I still wonder, Why am I carrying that around?

---

I always qualify that I am not really a Freudian but I think it's interesting to look at it from that point of view. The symbolism of my mother and sister is nothing new, nor is my detached reaction to it. The stuff about Self-Righteousness and Cowardice come from years of introspection, not spontaneous to this dream. The idea of signal strength and WiFi/network failing is a recurring dreamsign. I'm not sure exactly what to attribute it to. Maybe my level of lucidity? Maybe. The SS card is new. I suggest it might symbolize this near-useless baggage about my family and younger life that I don't need to carry around any more. It is part of my past but it is an identity that I no longer relate to and would prefer to leave it behind.

We are all hanging out together my cousins their wives and a few friends. We are in a doctors surgery and Tim is the doctor. They are all hung over badly including the doctor except me and maybe Tim's wife. I am kinda bored of all the jokes about feeling sick when all of a sudden another person rushes out to the toilet to vomit. Everyone laughs. Seeing that there is not much happening I decide to do some spiritual practice quietly. I fold up one of the cushions on the bed feeling its softness and the way it is not folding exactly as I want to make it higher so I can sit well. I feel the feminine support of Tim's wife and I guess the fact that we both think it is ridiculas because we both don't drink. I start practicing and I can here the first chant in my mind. It is so beautiful and my perception changes. They are all my friends again no difference between us no judgement just happiness like it always is with cousins. I start teasing them asking them would they like a pint of cowshit to drink or a cup of grease with black heads in it. They like this and surprisingly nobody gets directly sick as I say it . I could see pint of cow shit filling and the cup of grease as I said them. My sisters used to tease me like this when I was small on time when I was sick !