All DJ Entries

Dream recall from today's nap. A couple of lucids, ultralow awareness though.

Dream 1(fragment):

I was trying to nap but was getting constantly interrupted in one way or another.

Dream 2:

I was in some modern white skyscraper-style building, there were some anime characters i was talking to and then i was going down the stairs and reached some office-like place. Shortly the building started crumbling, i was going further down the stairs while avoiding holes, then the view switched to third person and i was apparently anime character as well, i was about to exit the building but i noticed child Gaara, just standing on stairs and not moving, i told him to go out but he was ignoring me. I (still in third person)walked back up and tried to move him, but he was like glued statue, i even did ended up doing some quick transformation like huge wing for a second, but all useless. I walked out of building and was back to first person view, i got into some red car and was driving on the road. Then it went back to third person and camera rotated around the car, moving further and further away i realized that i am dreaming but it was kinda 'cutscene mode' and i haven't done much in the end. Shortly dream faded out.
I woke up at home and was immediately distracted by family(As always... That would make stable dream sign but it doesn't happen IWL, so...), there was something about going out of home, i agreed at first but then was like 'nope' and got back home.

Dream 3:

I was in some version of Doom 3(According to dream at least, it didn't looked like Doom 3 at all), in editor mode. I opened level that was one of the endgame ones, which was happening in some tall techno-style dark building. I was noclip flying around looking for boss rooms to check scripts and stuff, i got through some boss rooms and soon i was in some different area, metallic with yellow lighting.I realized that i am dreaming because i had feeling of dream and walked around for some time, navigating through some dark passageways with pipe-like structures in walls and grating, soon dream faded out though.
I woke up and(forgot to RC) was in some restaurant place, alot of stuff was colored white and there were various challenges related to food. I selected one challenge in which i had to bring some food to small cylindric container that sucked in all food that was dropped into it, i filled it halfway through and then i...
Wake up at same restaurant place again, though this time SilentEternity is here... and another SilentEternity... and also another one of myself. We start discussing something and then dream ends.

Alright, so I'm done with my break for the challenge. I celebreated a lot with my friends but now they all went to other countries and stuff.

During the last few days I had a lot of time to think about myself. I realized that I shouldn't fight my 'traits' but rather use everything to my advantage. I also thought about my LD-past a lot to figure out why I'm not a natural anymore (There was a period of about a month where I was a natural with LD's daily).

So last night I got a epiphany. I already wrote it in the IOSDP-thread so I'm gonna copy&paste it:

When I went to bed I thought about this 'less is more' theory. I remembered that there was a time, where I used to have DILDs daily without putting any effort in at all other than doing 'something' for about 10 seconds each night. I had forgotten what this 'something' was, but last night I finally figured it out again: Back then, I experimented with Tulpa and created my own Tulpa. He was supposed to make me lucid in each dream. And for some strange reason it worked! I got lucid every night for a period of about 3-4 weeks. After that I went into an emotional crisis and it stopped working forever. I became a victim of my own self-fulfilling prophecy when my Tulpa told me that he will never ever make me lucid again.
So last night I thought about something...

What if it wasn't the Tulpa itself that made me lucid rather than just me needing 'permission' to become lucid?

And then it all made sense. I've always needed 'permission' for everything I did so far. And almost everybody is like this. The human mind always searches for permission to do something. Everything needs to make sense to keep the order in your mind.
And by giving the responsibility to my Tulpa, I kinda bypassed giving me permission.
In a way, it all makes sense (at least for me lol). Even doing RC's isn't for doing the RC's itself, but for being able to tell yourself that you 'earned' the right to lucid dream. You feel like you need permission.
Somehow even this 30-Day challenge is like this. We are 'earning' ourselves the right to be a natural (at least subconsciously). It all comes from this frame of mind we grew up with that you gotta work to achieve something.

But this isn't the point I'm trying to make here. When I realized this whole 'permission' theory, I tried to analyze myself again. Who am I? How do I act in certain situations? How can I become a natural?
What I found out was (I even made a list of my 'traits' and possible solutions) the following:
I'm almost always just observing my dreams, I get doubts if I think about something too long, I'm really good at visualizing things, I'm lazy and in most of my DILDs, I got lucid through some kind of trigger. I've never really done any RC or became aware just like that. I always needed some kind of 'event' to happen in the dream to get myself to do a RC.

For some odd reason I've never realized this before. The solution seems so simple to me now: Instead of bringing myself to do a RC by saying a stupid mantra, I need to manipulate the dream in a way that makes me do a RC.
And in addition to that I need to: set an alarm or do it before going to bed (lazy), I need to do it for about 5-10 seconds (getting doubts) and I need to create many dream signs that make me lucid, maybe even create a whole dream-scene (visualizing).

I really think that this will work for me. I mean, it's created based on my true personality.
Manipulating the dream...sounds kinda nice to me

Sadly I couldn't try this out last night as I was so tired from not sleeping the night before. I went to bed at 7pm and slept till 6am without waking up a single time.

Here are the dreams I remember from last night:

1st: I was playing Arma 2. I don't remember it in much detail because it was early in the night. Apparently me and a couple of other people had to clear out a hideout of some other players. I had a sniper rifle. That's about all I remember.

Interpretation: Again, Arma 2. Also, if I dream about video games I'll never to ADA as I'm not 'IRL'. At least that's my dream logic. Another reason for me to try out this new theory.

2nd: I will call this dream 'The rollercoaster of doom!'. It's pretty short but when I woke up I found it to be really hilarous even though I was scared to death.
The dream was about some kind of movie. The movie was about a rollercoaster that was possessed by a ghost and it killed every passenger. In the dream I was just observing again. I watched how people got on the rollercoaster and the horror began. The rollercoaster started to drive really fast and then it stopped instantly. Through the force of the sudden stop, some passengers were killed already. It looked like they were cut in half by the iron bars that were supposed to protect them...yummy.
Then the rollercoaster started again and it was now above some kind of sea or lake. At first I thought that people were going to drown (I tried to guess what would happen in the movie as I was just observing it) but then nothing happened to build up tension. Somehow I got really scared just by watching this. Now the rollercoaster was in some kind of huge factory. It was above water again but there was something swimming in the water. I got scared as I guess that this was some kind of creature. The rollercoster turned upside down and all the passengers were right above the water with their heads now. Some old lady was like "Hey, there's somebody swimming in the water!" and tried to reach for this 'thing'. I got extremely scared for no reason and woke up from this 'nightmare' just as something was jumping out of the water. When I woke up I was scared to death for some reason. Then I noticed that this is so hilarous and that I got scared from a rollercoaster...crazy how your mind can fuck with you lol.

Interpretation: I got no idea. Just me watching a movie I guess...the rollercoaster reminded me of a rollercoaster I've been to as a child. And the sea/lake looked like something I've seen in TV a while ago.

Only dream fragments this night, i was at a shop O.o and in the woods looking for something xD

In this fragment I recall some sort of card game about dreaming and there was magic involved. It does not help that I thought I had written this dream down, but apparently had not.

I was never going to be one of those "hit the ground running" LD'ers but I've seen enough here to guess that there are probably more baby-steppers like me than there are wunderkind ...people who can instantly fly at a whim

I can now spontaneously wake 3 maybe 4 times a night, usually not spring up and often gather in a few dreams. I am gradually finding my natural REM times. I discovered this The REM cycle, combining rules, and age. [Sleep. 1982] - PubMed - NCBI

Despite its jargon I take it to mean that old males have half the number of REM cycles but twice the REM period length. That explains why my plotting of dreams seems to spread across the night rather than clumped in 5 or more "sweet spots" Interesting.

I'm still succumbing to WBTB + WILD attempts for my (perceived) REM window of 5.30 am but the hot weather here (yes we occasionally have some) is hampering my attempts...even with a fan. The "rushes" have notably diminished at the moment, so I really must lay off WILD's for a while and concentrate on the other methods

I've taken 2 tabs of super-choline (choline+pantothenic acid) two nights running. There may have been a slight improvement in intensity of dreams but certainly not worth mentioning really...I'll try it for a while longer.

Still trying to make sense of my strange dream of 13/7/13...it could be caused by the choline or it might mean that I'm closer to one night picking up on one of the dream signs. So...I'm not disheartened. Slow but steady improvement on waking after a dream...discovering that maybe my REM periods may be spread out further across the night than youngster's dream periods (one up for the oldies perhaps) Sensing that my brain needs time to adapt (maybe with a little help from my friends)

Ever onward!

1.
I think I had some sort of false awakening again, but I don't quite remember it clearly enough.

Fragments:
May have been browsing the internet

I saw a dream about a close friend of mine, that [in real world] She had an appointment with me and she didn't come and also hasn't answered my angry messages yet...
In dream I was angry... fortuitous I saw her activities on "facebook" and I understand that she now can answer my messages and she doesn't do this
It was interesting that she also like some post of mine looks like it's a contradiction.

i was in the school and went with teachers. I was a teacher. Soon i understood that i didn't know that place, so it may be a LD. I even didn't make a RC, made a door in the ground thinking about volcano, made a step, felt myself in the portal and awoke.

Sunday 7/14/13

Last night bed 12am - 9am

DR - long and detailed. But all I recall now is there was a lots of people eating first course. We were debating to make rice for second course or wait. Lot's of people milling around, we were baking something too.

If you asked me to describe what I would consider to be the most beautiful girl, she would be blonde with hair to her shoulders, with light blue eyes and smooth, pale skin, a few inches shorter then me, kind of thin, but not like unhealthy thin, kind of curved, and well... her chest and bottom wouldn't be too big. Something would be there, just not a lot. She would have a delicate face and despite all that, she would be strong on the inside, defiant, be independent. But still smart, and be teasing and having a gentle, caring side.

Anyways... I dunno if the girl in my dream was quite all those things last night... but the physical part and a lot of her personality seemed like that from what I recall. I don't remember everything... but I remember her face and figure pretty well... usually I don't remember details like that. In the later part of the dream, we are in a car, with my mom, and we are at this busy road with like four lanes, two and two with some roads in between to allow you to get to the other pair of roads... and for some reason... she gets out and runs off. I run after her, and she goes into this dark forest, unafraid even at night. I follow her, worried about her. She eventually ends up at this large cliff, which almost looks like it has giant steps. She starts climbing and teases me, trying to get me to come with her. I am afraid of heights though and the top is so high up. We had no equipment and even if we did, I still wouldn't have gone. She sighs and frowns, and continues going up anyways. I'm torn between following to make sure she stays safe or my fear, but then we spot a guy and his little sister, who is hurt. They both have kind of darker skin, but it seems natural. So I guess they are part hispanic or something? And he has short, spiky, black hair and she has dark brown, straight hair which goes to her upper back. Her brother and I help the little girl down gently, and the beautiful girl comes back down quickly to help, serious now. I forget what we do to try and help her... maybe wrap her hurt ankle. But that's all I remember of the dream... I know I had another dream after this one, but I don't think they were related. I wish I could remember it all... and I hope I can find her in my dreams again...

The Desert Camp

Lucidis, Chris, and Claire had recently crossed the border into Efile and set out to walk in one direction, which was south. I don't think they really knew where they were going. The map from "The Heart Stone" had no details relating to roads, cities, or geography. I wonder if it's a part of the world that people from outside Efile know little about.

They were traveling through a hot sandy desert. They wore white hooded cloaks to protect them from the heat of the sun. Chris was also carrying a large backpack which likely contained traveling and survival gear. Traveling through the desert wasn't too difficult for them, though it certainly wasn't a walk in the park. It felt kind of like traveling through the desert in Journey (an indie video game).

They didn't talk much and early part journey was pretty uneventful aside from sliding down large sand dunes. Lucidis and Chris found that to be fun. After traveling for a fair amount of time, Claire spotted something from the top of a large sand dune. She activated the visor of her stasis armor and used the binoculars function to get a better look at it. Claire then told Lucidis and Chris that there was a camp and river a few miles to the west.

Initially Chris wanted them to keep traveling in the same direction to avoid getting lost and to get through the desert quickly. After talking it over, it was then decided that going to camp and following the river would be safer. They began to walk west towards the camp and dream time skipped here.

It was now what I think was morning of the next day. Lucidis, Chris, and Claire had apparently stayed the night in that camp. The camp appeared to be the remains of an old abandoned military camp. It was mostly in ruins, but some of the structures were still in tact.

Claire had asked for Chris and Lucidis meet her at a location a short distance south of the camp in the morning. Chris and Lucidis traveled there and what they found was a rather large obstacle/training course. It had what looked to be about a hundred stone platforms elevated above quicksand. The platforms were spaced apart with various obstacles such as rope swings, monkey bars, and balance beams between them.

Claire told Lucidis and Chris to remove their cloaks and to start training. Naturally, Lucidis though training in the middle of a hot desert was ridiculous and protested. Claire told him it that it would help condition their bodies to the desert environment. She also threatened to shoot Lucidis, so he started training on the obstacle course.

After training for some time, Lucidis made it to the far end of the obstacle course and stopped to take a breath. He looked out towards the river and followed the river with his eyes. He looked towards the southwest and saw what appeared to be silvery-blue towers shining far off in the distance. It looked like it was a city to him.

Lucidis called to Chris who was navigating an obstacle a few platforms away. Lucidis pointed in the direction of the city and asked Chris if he could see it too or if it was just a mirage. Chris confirmed that it was real by saying that he could see it too. They worked their way back to Claire and told her about the city. They planned to journey to the city after that, but I think it was around this point that the dream ended.

I didn't log much last night, so here's a very brief summary of some dreams:
Spider training: I was in a hollow with my soke and he was training me to use power from spiders.
Online school: I joined some stupid online school.
Flood: It started raining and the area started to flood, water was up to my knees.

Non lucid
*Seeking lalucidityjee for advice on what to do and how to go about hiding from the invaders.

Lucid
*I fell asleep with awareness so when the dream started I had a moment of lucidity. This pretty girl walked up to me and we walked together for a bit.

Pre bed: 100mg B6

Dream quality and recall: Dreams were vivid but recall was challenging due to the fact that I continued sleeping after the lds. It took me a while to journal the lds and by the time I did, the non-ld memories almost vanished. Still, taking into account recent busyness, heat and other distractions, I am very happy with the results.

Early dream fragment: It is the 5th of July and I am watching lots of fantastic long-lasting fireworks in the sky

Early dream fragment: I am doing dumbbell exercises, it feels really good

WBTB: Was very sleepy but made an effort to review the tasks. Said a mantra a few times, then fell deeply asleep.

Dream: I enter grandpa's room and discover that grandma has forgotten some kind of a diary she kept hidden behind the door. I wait until she is not around and peek in the diary to find out it is actually my diary. So, I had forgotten it in 2007 and she hid it and has been reading little bits ever since. This is terrible because this diary fully describes my views, plans, etc. I want to take it back home, but my mom comes snooping around, so I have to be careful not to attract her attention.

Fragment: I am with a classmate going to a class meeting. We stop in front of a building.

LD1: For some reason am in someone's store that resembles an outlet of a totally unknown brand. I spend some time checking out clothes, mostly interested in pink and purple ones. There is a cardigan I like but it turns into a net? Classmates are also there, I am trying to get their attention. A woman working in the store comes to bring us what looks like orange juice, but she claims it is beer. My whole class is gathered around something like a long table and we are having a drink. I first wait for everyone to get served but soon notice that some are already drinking. I feel drunk. Other classmates tell the story of a girl with the same name as mine, about how she lived in some city where women are emancipated. I think this refers to me, but later find out that they are talking about another classmate because they say her family name.

I turn to one of my best friends and say to her that we better leave the place and go outside. I am not sure what we did there but I am overly bold and become lucid. I turn back to all the guys from my class that have been passively following me and say some things to them I don't any longer remember. I recall how long this dream has been going and have very little time left, so decide to hurry up. The scenery around me is absolutely beautiful. We just left a lone building and there is only grass around, hills, trees. It seems like fall is just beginning, the colors are very pleasant to look at.

My brain is more asleep than usual and the only task that comes to mind after looking at the scenery is flying to angel falls. (which is so totally CL!)

I lift off and do some maneuvering that I can't exactly recall. I keep on flying over some fantastic hills, but I just feel this is going to end very bad because I have no idea where I am going and I am in the air for too long. (Also my expectation was set very deeply on a subcon level).

I decide to land and end up facing what looks like a small waterfall. There is water pouring over some rocks just in front of me. While I know this isn't what I am looking for (too small), I go as close as possible to this water falling down the rocks, trying to feel the water on me as the dream fades away and I end up in the void.

I spend some time in the void, just waiting there. (I couldn't remember any advice as what else to do, but that was fine)

LD2:It's a bit hard to remember what the first image was that I was looking at here but I am lucid from the start. It is an open area, with lots of vegetation again. I try three tasks, not fully sure about the sequence of but mostly likely in this order.

I look around and see some hills and trees in the distance. Once again it is all very beautiful and this makes me happy. It also reminds me that I was headed towards Angel falls. The vegetation makes it just perfect for the task and I stare there and day dream for a very short while. I feel like I want to rush forward and just get there. However, I just passed a few DCs and I remember I had another task I wanted to do "ask a DC".

I turn to this overweight mid-age woman and she makes some kind of word-like sound like "nah", I ask her where my phone is and she says "outside". This cannot be possible, as I know the phone must be somewhere at home, so I object and ask for further explanation. She says something else that I can't exactly remember but it means that this the answer. I am not satisfied with the answer she gave me, so I look around and there is another DC woman more or less the same type, but different face. I go to her and she makes exactly the same word-like sound like the other one, I find this very strange. I proceed to ask her about my phone and she just answers "but didn't you already ask". Well, yeah, but I want to ask again, and it is none of her business, just tell me where the phone is. I am annoyed with her and start some senseless explaining. After a while, I give it up and move on.

Still in the same place I decide to do the fireworks task and look around for some fireworks to swallow. The problem is that I am not in a room where my mind easily makes all kinds of objects but in the greenery and there's only grass and some small bushes there. I somehow remember I can do a summon from my pocket. I have the memory that my pockets are currently empty but still decide to search in my pocket. It is indeed empty but I manage to scrub something there, I hold my fist tight for a second and then I expect to see a mini-firework in there. Unfortunately, it is just a purple brown pill. I become confused thinking I really had this pill in my real pocket and that's causing the problem. Anyways, I concentrate on the pill, trying to make it look at least a bit like a firework but in vain. Somewhere after this intense concentration the dream fades.

I don't remember anything from the void here anymore.

LD3: I appear in some kind of public building restroom, still lucid, where I am looking myself in the mirror. I feel some pain in my tooth and have a closer look. Yeah, something is not quite right there and that worries me that I might actually have done something to my real tooth. I vaguely remember Penny talking about tooth dreams, and try to ignore the issue. Yet, I keep on checking myself out in the mirror until I zoom in to see and feel my entire row of teeth in a painfully twisted position. Dreams can really get crazy, I think to myself, remembering how Checker's fingers were twisted or something like that.

Finally, I brake my teeth fixation and walk around, trying to exit the restroom. Slightly worried that the dream might destabilize, although there wasn't an indication?, I decide to rub my hands and see if anything feels different. I remark that everything feels absolutely normal, and rubbing my hands on this occasion does not feel different from waking life. I also remember to jump a bit supposedly to stabilize, but it's more like some mischievous act of fun. I jump a few times, although cautiously as I don't want to destabilize the dream by losing the sense of my feet while mid air.

Trying to leave the restroom, I walk around in this building, but get lost in a maze of corridors. I go back, then try again and end up in some creepy looking corridor, lit by a single old bulb, shining bright. The whole place looks like from some kind a cheap movie scene and I don't like it at all. I don't want to be there. I get paranoid, staring at the corridor which turns to the left and soon some kind of a non-human thing is summoned by me.

Before he even has the chance to move closer I know that the only way out of this place is to phase through the wall in front of me and I do so.

I immediately end up in the void, but am still a bit paranoid that this thing might follow me into the next dream. I try to reason this whole situation, that he doesn't exist anymore, and feeling with certainty that once in the void, it is over. From then on, I remember to concentrate on Angel falls and on appearing on top of it. I do my best to create sensations that I am there.

I don't remember what happened, I just found myself in the next scene.

LD4: My memory gets even worse as I fall deeper into sleep. I am on the street, facing some building. My concern at this point is recall. I realize that I have been having dream after dream with no opportunity to journal. I try to remember how many lds so far, four, try to recall some details as I feel they will be lost. Using either my fingernails or some other object, I write down the number of dreams with a key word next to each to help with my recall once I wake up. This whole task is extremely difficult and towards the end of the process I begin to hear non-lucid dream thoughts interfering in my head.

Soon I lose lucidity as a Heroes of Might and Magic scene develops in the building in front of me. There are the two players' armies and obviously mine has been defeated because I didn't send reinforcements, while the other player did. The armies look quite 3D life-like with the largest beast looking quite scary.

NLD: Someone informs bf about his dentist and that some kind of refund is due because he did the dental work in a hurry. Tom Wilkinson is the dentist.

NLD: I am in a tram, there is a strange looking skinny old man in front of me. He is dressed like Gandhi, also has some kind of flat drawers on his chest, as some sort of a medallion. We talk for a short while and unfortunately I can't recall more detail anymore.

Soon the dream ends and I am in my body semi-conscious and extremely sleepy. For some reason my physical body decides to change position, so my legs move. This is what wakes me up a bit more and I decide it is better to journal before I forget everything.

Dream 1(fragments):

I was in some dark place, talking with somebody then later i started playing some video game, an RTS of some kind.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was in some metallic corridor and then i entered some big room. Then i used one of monitors in room to control some base in space, that looked like AI War. SilentEternity contacted me and said that it was updated and that AI fleet behavior changed greatly. And indeed, AI ships were more precisely controlled on one by one basis very accurately. i barely managed to stop the attack with turrets. Then after stopping the attack i continued talking with SilentEternity about something, then we with some group entered some kind of 3D game. I was escorting some NPCs through corridors of some spaceship or space station and protecting them from enemies, then we activated some switches that started the travel through space. We had to choose the path and we started to discuss something about dragons and whether to go through dragon land or not.

Dream 3(fragment):

I was playing some hybrid of AI War and some other RTS.

Dream 4(fragments):

I was on certain forum and there was some suggestion forum game about a dragon and i was discussing types of dragons with GWG.