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i failed at lucid dreaming last night, maybe because i couldn't even go to sleep for that matter. but what DID happen was while i was lying extremely still, trying to fall asleep, first i got this feeling like i was swinging, then this other sensation came over me. i didn't know what it was, but i tried to keep it there. i think it was sleep paralysis though. but i could still move, and thats what confused me :x i kept doxing off, and didn't even remember falling asleep or dreaming >:C

i failed at lucid dreaming last night, maybe because i couldn't even go to sleep for that matter. but what DID happen was while i was lying extremely still, trying to fall asleep, first i got this feeling like i was swinging, then this other sensation came over me. i didn't know what it was, but i tried to keep it there. i think it was sleep paralysis though. but i could still move, and thats what confused me :x i kept doxing off, and didn't even remember falling asleep or dreaming >:C

Stress Dream [Non-Lucid]

I didn't remember this one until a while after I got out of bed, so much of the detail is lost. I had several friends and at least one or two of my cousins over at my house and we were all getting ready to go swimming after a while. I was looking all around for my bathing suit but couldn't find it, and my cousin K kept coming in to my room and asking if I was ever coming outside. Eventually I found what kind of looked like it but whenever I tried to put it on it would shrink or change shape or just otherwise not fit right, and I kept getting really frustrated. That's about where the detail ends for me.

I'm not too surprised this happened after last night, but I'm not really stressed out anymore. I'm really just hoping this entry convinces me to start keeping track of my dreams again. >.>

Commentary-
Last night as expected I had better recall but I'm sorry to said my adjusted technique failed again. Even when repeating my mantra in between slow breaths, I found it difficult to go to sleep as I was repeating it. In the middle of the night though, I came to the realization that all I'm trying to do is to wake up thinking "I'm dreaming" so that I'm immediately lucid as I enter the dream. I think it might be possible to train myself to think "I'm dreaming" every time I wake up though the power of suggestion. If I can be able to do this I think I will have mastered my lucid induction technique.

I originaly said that I would only post lucid dreams but I have enjoyed the process enough to write about my non-lucids as well. I also had some visualizations or dreamlets as I was going to sleep.

Visualizations/Dreamlets-
-Before my first awakening I had the strange feeling that I was dancing while holding hands with others in a chain. Perhaps it was the very end of a non-lucid dream.
-While going to sleep I had the visualization of the crowds at a baseball stadium. (The SF Giants pennant race is on my mind)
-I had a random visualization of taking a picture with a few others at the lookout at Grand View Park in San Francisco.
-A visualization of me starting a work shift as a waiter.

Non Lucid 1-
I was at some sort of store and customers were buying these game boards. (You know, the ones places sometimes give out as a promotion like the Monopoly one given out by McDonalds). There were a couple different types given out. One had only 13 squares, another was a chute and ladders type board. I had a visualization arcade style of a figure going up and down a chute and ladders type level before the end.

Non Lucid 2-
A parade like performance by a french artist (I presume) was about to be performed on a city street. I reluctantly agreed to join a random partner of mine as I was afraid I might be late to work. My partner sought out one of the shows stars and got their autograph. He explained to me his idea to get another autograph of the same person impersonating somebody else. I remember hearing something like "merci beaucoup" near the end.

Updated Evaluation of my dreaming skill
Dream Induction Technique
Reliablity-2
Recall-3
Dream Control
Environment-1
Plot-2
Quality-3

This guy Ryan at school, he was REALLY fucking rich in my dream. I was going over to his house, which was in Utah but it was on the beach at the same time. I was using GPS on my phone to get over there, and I almost got in a car crash because of it. When I got there, his house was HUGE and he had his own private section of beach. His entire big ass extended family was there though, and I felt really overwhelmed by all of them, and for some reason I felt ashamed. I don't know why, I just remember that feeling. His dad gave me a new birth certificate, because I told him I disowned my family so I needed a new one. Ryan's whole family was really excited for me for doing that. Ryan also told me some really nice things, like that I'm compassionate and strong and in tune to the world around me. That was nice.
I can't remember if this happened before or after. I was in a diner with Connor, Gaby, Jordan, who are all high school friends. We were having a good time, but the waitress was a total bitch. So I gave her feedback, SRA style. She actually understood, and was willing to take my advice. I think that came from doing resentments yesterday that centered around someone not taking my advice, but idk.
There was another part where I was in a dorm at college, but it didn't look like the one I actually live in. I had started drinking again, and I had a HUGE stash of liquor in my closet. I wouldn't tell anyone about it, and I especially wouldn't share. I just remember being pissed in this part of my dream.

Dream - Lucid

I was in the bonus room at my house, sitting at the table where my mom's old laptop used to be when I was younger. I was talking to Daniel online. It was like I was on Minecraft, and we were writing to one another on a dirt wall, like some kind of weird chat room almost. I would go and do something else, and Daniel would tell me when he wrote on the wall, so I'd go back to the wall and look at what he wrote. Then, I'd write something back.

I remember him writing that my "expectations of him were too high". I wrote back, I think saying something about how they weren't. We wrote many other things, all were kind of linked to our relationship in some way. We aren't dating IWL, and in the dream, we weren't either. It was weird.

Then, we were at his house. I was spending the night. He mentioned that we never have sex and that he really wanted to. We laid down in the white sheets, both already mostly naked, and he started to kiss me. I started to kiss him back. He was immediately ready to have sex, and we were about to, when someone walked up to us and started talking to Daniel. He was polite and talked back. As soon as the guy left, he wanted to pick up where we left off, but I looked at the time. 10:00 or maybe it was 10:30, one of those. I had to be up and ready for work. I told him so, and he was, again (apparently), disappointed.

I also remember being with him somewhere else, though I can't recall where. He was wearing a dark red shirt.

There was also one point in this dream where I became lucid, but I quickly lost it.

~

I was in a parking lot, and in an empty parking space was this bundle of large silver and black balls. They looked metallic. I touched them, and they felt weird, like they were liquid and solid. After poking at them for awhile, it dawned on me that it was probably mercury, which is, as we all know, toxic. It was too late though, I had already touched them. I wasn't too terribly concerned about it; there wasn't much I could do at that point.

Then, I was watching a movie with someone in the glassed-in porch in my house, and the large balls appeared in the movie in an explosion. The movie mentioned something about uranium. I said to whoever I was watching the movie with
"I had a dream about this, and I've never seen this movie before!"

~

I was in a waiting room somewhere. Someone had asked to meet with me in private. I was called back, and led into a room by an overweight woman with unnatural dark red hair. We sat down at her desk, her on one side and me on the other. The room was dark; no lights were turned on. She pulled out a pipe and some weed, and offered me some. I had a little bit. I thought it was weird, but cool, that this woman smoked. She then got a little more serious as she started the conversation.
"Krista, you made a 77 on the GRE."
I replied
"Is that the combined score or the raw score?"
She didn't answer, and continued on with
"I think you should reconsider applying to graduate schools."
I then proceeded to explain to her how I screwed up the math part, and I wasn't going to send those scores in anyway. I probably mentioned that I was going to retake it. She just continued to look at me with a serious look on her face. She didn't nod or acknowledge anything I had said.

She then got up and started to talk in a more cheery manner about personal matters. She left the room for a second. I stood up and saw her stash on a book shelf. I thought about taking some, but decided better of it. She'd probably notice, and I wouldn't want to get caught stealing her illegal substances. Shortly thereafter, she walked back in the room, still going on about personal things.

This dream was the most vivid of all the ones I had. For some reason, it just seemed very real.

~

I was sitting on the couch in Jake's apartment. Jake was sitting in the chair next to the couch. He was dragging a metal engraver across his face, but nothing was happening; no cuts were being made. Apparently, it was made that way, so it could easily cut metal, but not skin. It was freaking me out all the same, because I kept thinking it would eventually cut him if he bore down hard enough.
"Jake. Stop it. Jake! Stop it!" I kept saying.
He didn't stop. He kept dragging it across his face. Once, he did it, paused, and then stared at me, as if he was trying to achieve some kind of dramatic effect if he did actually start to bleed.

I almost had three lds this morning. The first was about 6am, during looking over this big wall at an overly big star gazing universe kinda backdrop, this darkness came over my vision which felt really like my whole head and this is when i realized i was dreaming, this amazing body buzz and warmth pulsated through my body and as it intensified and started to totally engulfed me i began to shoot through this hypnagogic state, but as it seemed like i was going to break through into something like a dreamscape, i got scared and woke up. The second near ld was i guess what you call a wbtb, (sorry im new to this so please bare with me this is my first dj entry) as i was falling back to sleep at around 7am i started to get that same sleep paralysis feeling and so when the buzzing total engulfed me, this time i pushed really hard to get through and the hypnagogia was more like tunnel vision as i flew through, but as my visions started to open up, i felt this presence in my room and in my peripherals and standing over me around my room it seemed fading in were these like spiritual kinda oompa loompas, lol but they werent funny, they were overwhelming and this woke me up. The third was during a dream i was having i guess probably around 8am, i was dreaming that i was in a bookstore buying a book on lucid dreaming, while i was standing in line to buy the book i was playing with this light switch and plug thingy in the wall by the checkout, as a childhood friend got in line beside me, i said hi Chris really exited, but i told him the handshake was coming a little slow because my hand was numb because of electrocution from playing with the light switch and plugy thing, the moment i shook his hand, boom, he disapeared and i became a different person (an older gentlemen that was a scientist) as he/i got back in line the line was much longer and there was a lot of commotion for people wanting to cut in line (someone even flashed a gun at one time) so right before i was next in line, i let these to girls go cut in before me, after they checked out and the clerk was ringing me up, the clerk knew me from coming in to the bookstore and he was making fun of me for buying a book on lding (he was saying that i usually buy Japanese anime books, and i guess he thought that was much cooler) so as he rings me up, i have to press the ok key on the computer to accept the purchase, as soon as i press the ok button, boom, im back in my bed in full sleep paralysis, but this time there was no building up with the buzz, it was full on, as i took it all in for a second, i began to i guess astral project and my body began to rise above my bed, and know with the buzzing and visions it seemed like it was all around my room, i got scared again and woke up. Does anyone know what im doing wrong? or is it just that im new to this?? thanks, Tim

Labor Camp
Recall: 5/10
Sleep: Good
Sleep Position: Unknown

I'm in some sort of summer camp where they are using us as slave labor to plant trees. The work us ragged with barely any sleep or food. My fellow worker and I organize and gather to escape.

We are hiding in a rocky outcrop in the process of leaving when I look down to the valley below and see a bunch of trucks seemingly working in a gravel pit. Except that I notice a cement truck has robot arms. In fact all the trucks have robot arms! Some sort of alien invasion? I don't know, but I get everyone to duck down so they can't see us. But then I think they are incapable of seeing us, as they don't seem to have eyes or heads, only a pair of robot arms.

These robo trucks are building something, and we watch as they assemble... a giant lazyboy chair with a giant stool in front of it, both facing a humongous flat screen TV. WTF? I figure it's some sort of advertising thing and they're filming a commercial or something.

We make our escape and end up at a restaurant. We sit down, exhausted and hungry and order food. I go down the hall to find the bathroom. In the hall there are two other people, some random guy, and Eric from True Blood. All of a sudden some evil force is in charge, and we're supposed to each pick a door to enter and face some sort of challenge or torture.

We're each supposed to pick our own door, but we all enter the same one so we can work together. In the room stands a man, who disappears and reappears behind the nameless guy with us, cutting him down. The then disappears again. The guy reappears again next to Eric and I, but I'm ready for him and hammer the shit out of him. We win.

I go back into the restaurant and get a ride home with some girl. We talk as we drive and she too spent a summer at that work camp. She says how terrible it was and how she didn't make any money at all. I however did make a bit of money from it, as I have a small wad of bills with me.

This dream was no doubt inspired by the shitty working conditions of the poor chinese workers who built the new generation of Iphones. Fuck all you Iphone using losers, especially if you ran out to buy the new one.
Eric was in there because I can't turn on the TV without seeing that guy lately. CK commercial, the movie Battleship.

09.14.2012

Being Handed A Scantron (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm sitting inside of a classroom, and it looks exactly like my U.S History Dual Credit course in the other High School I took the second semester of it in. The lights above emitted an orange setting to the whole room, and the carpet below seems to be dark turquoise with all sorts of small colors in between it.

There's quite a few dream characters in this class, and the whole dream experience is surprisingly clear. The seat everyone has consists of a wooden base, and the standard plastic type of chair that has the bottom curved instead of creating a straight "L" formation.

The seat itself seems to be a dark swamp-ish green color mixed in with turquoise. In front of me is a girl for sure, she's wearing a shirt that has red stripes going horizontally. She had a petite structure, and the back collar of her shirt had a fairly deep curve to it. Her hair was brown, with a few highlights appearing from the same light above shining down.

I don't know what I'm doing in this class, so I just try to listen in on the girl in front of me instead of asking questions. It seems everyone is handing down scantrons from front to back. The classroom seating is structured to where as you go into the classroom on the door to the left side (while you're looking at this screen), the seats will be faced in a vertical formation.

I was sitting at the last seat in the second to last column of seats to the right, and as soon as I see one girl in front of the other girl in front of me, I quickly prepare myself to see what the girl in front of me might say. She turns around, and she gives me a Blue Scantron.

She looks at me for a while, making me look at her as well. She stares at me for maybe 3 seconds or so, and I got a good description of her.

She definitely looked like Rachael in waking life that I had for the U.S. History course. It seems she took a slight 180 degree turn to look at me so that she could know she's handing the scantron to the right person I believe. Her lips are neutral, and it seems she's not really in a thinking mood right now, neither was I.

I look at my Blue Scantron again, then peeked at Rachael's Scantron my shifting my head to the right, and I noticed her Scantron is red, and is much bigger.

She has a grade on the Scantron, and mine doesn't, so maybe I'm here to take a Make-up exam or something like that. I just sit there nonchalantly, and happened to hear Rachael talk to the girl in front of her. I believe it was something related to what grades they got for the exam.

Rachael declared something along the lines of to the girl,

"I got a horrible grade for the exam...." and if my memory serves me right, when I peeked to see her bigger Red Scantron, I saw a value of a "70" with a circle around it, this value was written in red ink I believe.

After that, I don't remember what happens next, but a funny thing while I was searching for images of Scantrons for this dream, this meme I found makes sense.

_________________________

09.14.2012

Strake Jesuit (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm at a cafeteria sitting with some random people. The area is spacious, the flooring consists of white tile colors mixed in with spots of dark and brown colors. The long table going horizontally is made of a wooden texture coated with a dark brown wood shine on it, though it's showing signs that it's faded a bit. There was one guy sitting in front of me to my right, and a girl to my left.

The girl to the left asks me,

"So, did you go to Strake? Jesuit?"

*facepalm* I don't know if she was unaware that it's Strake Jesuit, and not two branches of College Prep School, and I just couldn't give her an honest answer. The guy to the right of me seems to pick up on my awkwardness in trying to form an answer, and answers for the girl.

"You think this guy would be able to get into Strake Jesuit?"

THANKS FOR ANSWERING FOR ME, BUT YOU COULD'VE PUT IT EUPHEMISTICALLY....

He was even chuckling as well, but he was right, I would be so horrible in that school it's not even funny....everyone just WORKS too damn hard there....they HAVE to in order to make things look "natural" to them.

The dream shifts to where I'm going to enter a classroom, and that same guy that basically made me feel like crap, even though it is true I probably wouldn't have been able to go to Strake Jesuit, or even AFFORD it......

*cries* Why am I butthurt over this? Oh right, because I'm not one of those people going to Cornell, Dartmouth, or Harvard...right....public university.....meh....same education, just less prestige...

I better take advantage of this Friday....AND I'm getting a screen protector for my Wacom Bamboo Create Tablet today!!!! (Hopefully, since it said the maximum arrival date is TODAY)

This is going to reduce the nib wear by a loooooooooooooooooooot. Too bad I won't have time to actually use it because of two exams, lab report due, and a lab activity next week.

I really hate how I'm coloring like a kindergartner with these drawings. =( I'll find time somehow after I graduate to get way better...

Anyway, talking about tennis, it reminds me of this song when I used to watch Prince of Tennis during summer vacation before I became a sophomore or junior in High School I believe.

i drempt i was being a little crnkey and damien had coem by for a dinner and id just fidd not really lie puttingup and playing along with his antics so i kept it very local ley bt but caactually ate meat just cause everyone else was. then i was with ryan from utah just sittign next to him by grandma and mat jajeh from church a goroup of very uncomfotable people. and grandma. damien came over nd made sexual kples

and this was even crazier. the, fucking english man wanted to kill me. it was like conkers bad fur day and i was the squirrely trying to make it past the teddie bears base. but when i finally got in the screen was all screwy. i guess thats what hapens when u play the game on a N64. then i was in a room with some dude and i told him i new all about how many peopl he has murdered. he said he had agun under his pillow and wud give me seconds to run. i sprinted and he followed me with a shot gun; i finally found a farm and grabed the first tool i could find and wated around the door way. he spotted me when he came in and had a similar rounded knife as mine i sprinted out and we both lost control of our knives and got into a fist fight. it was like some matrix shit in a farm. he was stabbing me with shit but then id pick up a shovel and hit him accorss the face then hed hit me, then id like jump up and kick him in the face accross the room . it was tight until finally i got him a choke hold and knocked his ass out. when he woke up he tried to pretend like he was my dads friend and my dad drove up but i warned him against it. then my uncle brian drove up and i warned him also . i cant remember if i killed the english man or not.\

later in the dream i went to the movies and then was trying to set up the stairs so i could exit which was very difficult. then like the admin of the place were kinda laid back like triumph/

oh and Lastly i remember maggie coming home and we were in a room of friends and she saw some girl she knew called herself SN. she was excisted and told her mom she would live with her instead and made a big scene in the restraunt. also bella worked at the restraunt and for some reason had to wear a helmet

i drempt i was being a little crnkey and damien had coem by for a dinner and id just fidd not really lie puttingup and playing along with his antics so i kept it very local ley bt but caactually ate meat just cause everyone else was. then i was with ryan from utah just sittign next to him by grandma and mat jajeh from church a goroup of very uncomfotable people. and grandma. damien came over nd made sexual kples

I have terrible, terrible dream recall at the moment.



This is the only dream I remember from tonight and I only remember it vaguely.
Me and a whole bunch of people my age, many of them my former classmates, arrived at some sort of camp. It seemed like a youth hostel and it was run exclusively by asian guys.
We gathered in some large lobby, where the asians running the place asked us where we wanted to go. They asked for our nationalities, so I asked "German, german, german?" on and on again, until somebody noticed my calls. They told me to go to the eastern wing, "that's where the Wehrmacht used to be". The eastern wing had only two rooms, one of them was huge and had 50+ beds in it. Right now there's some gaps in my recall, but I remember finding myself a bed. Step by step, the room became more crowded with people I knew and the more people got in it, the bigger the room got. One of my former classmates got in a bed next to me and started bugging me by splashing his drinks into my direction and threatening me with a needle. I met a girl at this point that I can't remember meeting IRL, she was exclusively a dream character. She showed me around a bit and had a loud, kinda difficult attitude.
We wound up back around the beds that we started at, where another former classmate of mine hatched a plan to overthrow the asians, pretty much by smacking them as hard as he could. There's a tear in the dream and next thing I know I watch him attack one of the asians who's now wearing a hoodie with the hood pulled over. The girl's there, too. I quietly tell her that "I don't believe cracking an asian boy will be that easy...", as we watch our friend get annihilated by some martial arts/bar brawl-swinging asian.
The girl has disappeard and I leave the scene of the thrashing, laughing loudly until I somehow decide it's better to supress my laughter. I try laughing more silently. As I'm back at my bed, the arrangement of the beds changed a bit, and now there's beds stacked upwards like a staircase. A lot of people are sleeping already. I don't get into my bed but climb up some other beds, where the girl from earlier meets me.
She gets really close to me, touches my waist and whispers something about the sleeping people into my ear. I feel confused, so she gets closer and eventually hugs me very closely. Now I am in a RL relationship... but it felt amazing. o:
I woke up.


While writing that, another fragment just came to me. I was living with my girlfriend in a building that exists IRL, but there's a bar in it. Now we live there, and we're busy with something, I can't remember what.
We have two cats IRL as well as in the dream and in the dream, they keep getting out onto the main streets of the village. I have to go after them a lot and get them back home. Sometimes, the cats change colors.

Commentary-
I had this dream on 9/12/2012. At first I avoided sharing this dream because I thought it was too short. But looking back, the dream wasn't too bad and I figured if I was going to number my lucids, I might as well share them all! So, below is lucid #1.
Dream-
I was at a party at my grandma's house. It was pretty random as I didn't know what the party was for and all the characters were unfamiliar. I tried to do a backflip a couple of times in the kitchen to impress the crowd. I failed both attempts and fell on my back. I remembered to rub my hands together for stabalization. I walked outside jumped in the pool clothed. Then a random lady walks up near the edge and asks "What are you doing!?". The dream ended shortly thereafter.

No dreams for me last night! Last night was just a bad night for recall. I was ampted up and excited going to bed to try to induce another lucid dream. It also didn't help that it was one of my days off and I got less exercise than usual which might have impacted my recall as well. I still have the habit of going to sleep with the tv on which I read also impacts recall. I went to bed trying hard to induce a lucid dream repeatedly thinking "I'm dreaming" which probably impacted my recall as well. As I said in my first entry-no recall equals no lucid dreams. So I make some adjustments.

I'll lay this out to make it more clear

Reasons for poor recall-
1.Not as tired as I should have been
2.TV habit
3.intense repeated thinking creating tension, making it more difficult to go to sleep.

Adjustments-
1.Got a lot more exercise today, being a busy work day as a waiter. I should get more exercise on off days too that way I'm tired when I go to bed. I should also use yawns as a cue to go to sleep.
2.TV off
3.Rather than simply thinking "I'm dreaming" repeatly, I will only think "I'm dreaming" in between slow breaths. This should also help me to go to sleep. Rather than trying to force a lucid dream with repeated thoughts alone, I'll focus on the technique rather than the lucid dream itself to induce the lucid dream.


I've also been experimenting with a new sleep position designed to "lock" my body in a comfortable position bringing WILDs and DEILDS into play. I find I can keep my lower body still by interlocking my kneecaps and my upper body relativily still by putting my hands in a praying position and resting them on my forehead as I sleep on my side. This is a work in progress though.

I believe these adjustments will improve my dream recall and allow me to lucid dream tonight. But, like I said, I'll focus on the tehnique rather than the lucid dream itself.

Happy dreams for me tonight!

Maggots

I think I was in my Dad's old house. It had been neglected. IWL I feel this has something to do with my father having passed. That's not based on dream interpretation formula, but my general sense and emotion.

There were some kind of worms and or maggots on a wet floor. I didn't want to think about cleaning it up, but this was disgusting, so I resigned myself to clean the mess, but at that point the dream ended.

Demon House

I might call this the Haunted house, the house I dreamed of has become a recurring house in my "nightmares." The scariest dream was the first time I dreamed it. There is a big house and inside it's trashed. It makes leaving hard when it comes time to escape the demon. The house is also huge, so you have a long way to go when it's time to run away.

This night I approached a different door, but I knew it went to this demon house. I was trying to explain to a DC that this house really WAS haunted, stressing there was a demon in the house.

I don't mind this kind of nightmare now, but this house is peculiarly scary. As with my childhood monster, the demon never shows himself. He is simply waking up very slowly--but once he sees you, you are (would be) screwed.

Link to other dreams with this house:

Haunted House