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my recall has been the worst this week.


Jamie Dreams

One dream where I saw her in some house. she said ,"Hello." to me and smiled. For some reason I built a ramp over her and a wall behind her like infortnite. Okay, not sure why I did that.

Second dream, I wam watching myself sending her another message. Not sure of the context of this, if in the dream we are talking now or what?

Third dream. she's sitting on my bed looking down on me and smiling with warmth. She says, "Robert I love you." Likewise.

Other dreams

A bunch of fragments about the netflix series Dark. ( I binge watched the entire second season yesterday). In one dream i am with a woman from the show and we are exploring buildings looking for something. Another dream had to do with Mikkel.

School bathroom
I walk around a school with a friend. I remember that I need the bathroom really badly, telling my friend, who then tries to guide me to the bathroom. The school halls have no windows and were themed like the intensive care unit I was in when I had a ketoacidosis, albeit one hallway, originally leading to a sort of room I don't remember the purpose of and a storage room, now leads to the office of the school. It is themed like the one at my school. As we go a bit in, we turn around and the hallway has changed to more of the office hallway, just a whole lot longer and like the real school, only that to the right and left are two bathrooms now. We find the boy's bathroom and it is locked up entirely. We then turn around and find that there's a girl's bathroom with two girls washing their hands. Obviously, I can't just use that bathroom, so we start walking to the exit of the hallway, aiming to go to our lessons. Then I wake up, having to use the bathroom just as badly as in the dream.

Had 2 ld

First one was during nap. I tried to stabilize thought about meditating but did not see body so back to rubbing hands. Fear of it b stopping ended dream.

Second one was long during night. Perhaps several micro awakenings. I was exploring with 2 dcs, they stayed with me along scene changes. Even after teleporting. Started in city area , in apartment that was locked so tried to find other ways in didn't recall dream goal so explored. I also went to a condo or apartment that was brighter and seemed higher end I have a feeling it was the same one where I meditated outside. But this time I was inside. Was trying to get to country side at the end.

Had nlds too.

Sunday June 30th 2019

Yo Pino, tell the others to get ready to receive me next week.

I’m talking to someone on the street, become lucid and decide I want to do something fun.

Teleport in the middle of an underground maze I find using scan and start to fight right there with anything that comes my way.

It doesn’t take long for me to find that there are no longer any creatures following me and try to find them myself but wake up after a short while.

Back to sleep.

I’m in some weird cave- Become lucid when standing up due to the weird gravity.

Talk to the wall and ask it about the place but it seems I was the one who came over to this place in the last dream. Go over to the exit when I hear something follow behind.

Look back and see some weird creature, like a big scorpion I believe. The thing is coming at me. Use scan and see that it feels angry because I beat the other creatures inside.

Try to tell it that nobody was killed and there should be no problems but it is taking none of it and continues to attack.

I am just dodging the attacks, it tries to claw me and sting me several times so just evade until it pisses me off and throw it down then hold it with TK and tell it to leave me alone before moving forward but wake up soon after due to my cat meowing loudly.

Back to sleep.

I am reading something, it is night time and no idea why I am here and not reading something in the computer instead? Oh wait, the weight of everything is off!

Quickly jump out of the way and then start flying. Where, do I want to go?

Last time when I had just arrived to this planet, something made me feel weird. There was this creature I knew was stronger than the rest that made me feel scared.

Use scan in the whole planet and then get blocked by something.

Teleport to where I had been blocked and see a giant… oh no, that was a mountain. The thing is attacking from behind. Hold it down with TK then slam it to the ground.

The ground shatters and then erupts up to me, for some reason despite it been normal rocks it feels like they are hurting me? Stop them with TK and then the thing teleports above me. Use a giant fireball and shot it up the sky outside the planet.

The thing comes back down and then some shadow-like things encircle me and try to trap me down. Is this what I felt last time? Stop the things and then eat them, while they make you feel scared that is not exactly a bad thing for me.

Quickly go into rage mode due to the fear and start taking bites of the thing, then it breaks down. The shadow that was there before shows a smaller thing, like an Elephant come out and with the shape of a gator.

It hisses and then shots a beam of energy. I stop it and then crush it underneath me, he is scary but not stronger than the flesh king.

Think about it and teleport to the flesh king’s palace. He is no longer in the throne and neither is the daughter who despite been stronger seems to have given the option to the brother?

They recognize me instantly and are about to attack when the previous king stops them. We communicate using Scan since I cannot speak their language.

The next thing I know is that the king knew I could have killed him and fought against his sons at the time but didn’t so he believes that I just am a human fighter and not a human conqueror.

I tell them that yes, I am just playing around cause I like fighting. The king mentions how his girl is just like that and that this is the reason that she was not given the position as queen as she could try to overthrow other species and then to create a huge war again, and so the son who is more down to earth was a better choice as king.

We talk for a while and I learn about their civilization. They do seem to eat humans but that is not a problem, since in their lands humans can’t survive. I wonder how in the world then they got such a big supply… but then remember the guys trying to invade. The king is wise and I like him very much.

Also ask them to let me touch their flesh feathers, which feel weird since they pulsate, enjoy my stay there very much but feel myself about to wake up and go back to the human land.

Back to sleep.

This time I am walking a very lively plaza. Become lucid while walking and start to wonder what I should be doing… oh, maybe get a house?

I think about living here for a few days then give up on the idea since I need to get stronger, get out of Lyseno and move on with my goals.

Still find a good place to rent and move over to once everything is said and done so just keep walking through the plaza and ask around.

People tell me about a rather cheap place so I go and fly over there.

When I arrive, see a lot of people outside, it is still in the middle of the afternoon and the sun has yet to set so that may be why it’s so lively. A lot of kids roaming the streets, people looking around and purchasing things in the small shops owned by people renting here.

I ask for the landlady and request one of the houses, she shows me around and says she will give me one small room… no I want one of the houses.

She starts to argue with me until I make diamonds out of nowhere and other things I saw sold for this planet and give them to her, she quickly hides the stuff and tells me to accompany her, get myself a one floor, 7 room place. The bathroom is super big and has 3 sections, 2 for actually been used and another for taking a shower.

Back to sleep.

I’m checking something in bed, well not mine. Do become lucid at some point while checking and remember this is the place I just rented. Gave enough to the lady for at least 10 years so don’t worry too much about it and go look around.

What will happen if I am absent for too long though? Try to think of a solution so teleport my husband here and let him roam free.

When I do that remember all my other goals! Obviously the next step is to try and summon some of the people from overseas to try and DS with them. So I go ahead and do that… but first will go with him and show him around and give him information on how to survive on this world so he can keep this house occupied. Also make a clone of myself to live with him whenever I’m not around.

Back to sleep.

I’m playing some kind of game, become lucid while playing and decide to enter into the game… terrible idea. The game was a Tetris game so it was super boring after a while and ended up waking myself.

Back to sleep.

I’m walking around a very rowdy street. While walking become lucid due to the weird gravity and then think back… oh still here!

First go to the bathroom and eat a bit with husband, since why not?

Once we are done go outside again and decide to start summoning people.

I try with the group from the gateway, since I cannot go out right now.

Two people arrive, one is a rather tall lady and the other one a slightly smaller guy? I’m not sure and don’t really care. They came down on the street and are looking around, minding their own business.

I try to talk to the lady thinking she is Becky? No? Well whatever already summoned people. Start to wonder if I even got them right, since I don’t know anything like their genders or the like.

I remember sending a doll… when I am back to myself and out of my thoughts they are gone so teleport to the closest one, which is the lady.

I try to tell her that I am Hukif and that I sent her something made of Clay not too long ago in a dream. Ask her if she recognizes me at all. She looks at me and says nothing so we move on, I take out a phone and ask her to show me something I do not know.

She looks around the phone and shows me a convo, twice I see that someone was mentioned, maybe me? I can’t read the text because it’s an image and it’s a little bit too small for me.

Right below the two mentions which are relatively long, there are at least 6 rows of short text. I try to ask her what it says but no response is given. Ask her if she liked the clay work pot I sent but apparently it did not even arrive?

At this point the sun has already set and its night time already. I try to gather more information, the only thing I can get is that Becky likes clay… so I was right? Can’t get anything else before waking up.

Back to sleep.

I’m with myself… where did everyone go? Everything feels super heavy so get lucid from that and try to remember my goals. I have to summon people… no, something else!

Can’t remember so go back to the house and just rest there, trying to think of my goal.

Back to sleep.

I’m back… to the house but at the top? No I need something else.

Fly above the sky and think, yes! I have only one desire and goal right now, and that is to break free from Lyseno.

I had already guessed due to scan before and saw it already in my body last time. They divided Lyseno by sections and each one of them is taking care of a place, it also seems they all came to greet me rather than fight last time but if I want to leave will have to defeat them, and I will do it.

Start to call for the robot. He is by all intents and purposes the one who holds this place under control and takes care of any warriors too strong for their own world who are causing trouble.

Possibly the reason why I kept having to teleport randomly whenever trouble was there, so he could make sure that there was no issue with me.

By the time he arrives I am already outside of the planet, on that star system waiting.

He comes flying from afar, as to show no hostility towards me and he just stands there in the void of space. He makes signs which I don’t get so communicate through Scan, much easier and this way he will understand me, can’t use words here after all.

He responds and we talk for a minute or two. He will not allow me to leave as that is his purpose. I try to talk to him and tell him he was not named when this world was created, but I will now give him a name, his new name will be Pinoccio like the first puppet, as he is as far as I am concerned the ultimate puppet robot, the master of himself. Plus, its cookie cutter enough.

He snorts, too bad I can’t hear him. He also laughs in his mind and then conveys the next thing to me “Name me only after you prove your worth, you weak being” maybe he does not recognize me? I was the one who created this place… wait, yeah, my rules and myself should have changed that, fine then, let me show you just how strong I am!

He shots at me with a beam like thingy, I stop it midway and then he comes from the side.

We are too close to things so I fly way past the edge of this universe, Pino follows suit. I do wonder if he realizes that to some degree I am his father… oh well whatever.

We finally arrive to a secure place in a few seconds and he thanks me for thinking of the world. He asks me how long I have been training for this. Wonder what he means, just jump to attack him.

When I am about to attack he is nowhere to be seen, but already deployed Scan and can sense him already. Make four big stars to attack behind me where he should be at. Before he gets struck some kind of saw goes through, absorbs the light and then makes the stars explode.

I absorb the force of the stars on the palm of my hand and teleport in front of him “I was…” he says, I finish the phrase “Expecting this?” attack and when he is about to block use a tune from waking life, my Cat meowing as an extra to his calculations.

The extra throws him off guard and I connect the hit, then continue hitting him from all sides. He then switches to a faster mode and starts to counter so I just go faster too and start to play a song through Scan just at the same speed and use that little psychological trick to make him slower.

He slowly but surely gets slower then realizes what happened and slows down all time around us, I get affected by it and he punches me in the face then some things appear next to his arm as he is punching me in the face and beams of energy come out.

I absorb it by creating a black hole around us that dispels near instantly, he says that if several stars could do nothing, a black hole had no place here. I use again my power of randomness and hit him with ducks then create a giant black hole, the size of a galaxy around us.

It seems to take him by surprise and then there is a huge explosion. The black hole flattens and something comes out from there. This puppet, Pinoccio my little boy made a machine out of his own body big enough to rival the meteor I was about to launch at him.

I look at the damn machine dissecting and collecting the rocks of the meteor I had just created away, slowly like it was kids play. He then proceeds to close his eyes, I know he can read the future through math calculations and yet feel somewhat taken back by the fact he will now be stronger, just by concentrating on mathematical input rather than pure input.

I switch over to nightmare mode and spread my cells all over the place then start dancing with him.

The next thing I see when going towards him is a gun materialize, way bigger than me below me and shot a ray, try to stop it then use all my energy to make a shield around it to make it explode. Where in the world did he learn to use this kind of blaster? That shit had enough force to shake a small universe like my own!

He continues to shot this kind of thing casually and I am mostly evading when out of the blue he comes at me again, I get thrown back and when I am about to stop another of those shots comes from behind.

I look through Scan and realize that they are not materializing, they are already there and been controlled skillfully through the giant planet sized machine that he has made. I try to use speed to outrun the process of mathematical calculation of his and the machine but the machine moves around us only and he can move at the same speed I use, dang!

How can I not defeat him yet! I try to calm down and then make a layered barrier around me. When he attacks I teleport at random then create again the random spell. Cannot win just by sheer force or speed or intelligence, he can outmatch me in the later so badly that I will be just a random sitting duck for him.

Teleport again and clap, hundreds of waves of water come out from my hands. He blocks them and another shot comes down from me, the shot is stopped amidst the sea of water that was created so he uses the machine, makes it dry and shots again, this time it is stopped by time then by a construction of a world in between us.

The machine suddenly stops and he is in front of me throwing me down, see another shot from my side so absorb it then explode myself when he is closer, maybe he was expecting it? I see he go through the exploring with nearly no damage then more machines appear and they keep shooting at me at incredible speeds.

At this point we are already moving at about the same speed we used to get here and I keep losing slowly but surely. It seems like he is already aware of his win! GAH!

Teleport some weapons around me and try to fight him back, the explosions, the gunshots, everything is way too fast for me to keep up with it, he is using more than I can take. Start using my clothes to create tentacles and transform my hands into claws then start to teleport among the cells I have that are all around.

He keeps pinpointing them all and eventually gets a blade in through my stomach, he then looks down to realize his arm has been absorbed. He is about to deflect when I spit blood on him and start analyzing and absorbing him.

He then uses the damn machine again, I stop the machine midair “Pure energy, plus self recoiled energy?” he looks surprised but continues to attack. At this time I am using also noise from waking to throw him off since he can’t calculate it, as it is random to him.

Start devouring slowly all the parts of the machine he has created so far, has been analyzing it so far so know he will make another one at any given time and when he does eat all of it down then get punched down with a saw coming from his arm, the damn thing goes through my jaw and then he tries to go for my head.

Behind me, a giant mass blocking my way. How heavy is that thing and when did he construct it? I absorb it and shot that energy towards him to block the saw then get slammed against another construction? When did that happen…

I am starting to bleed profusely, so decide to start teleporting not only myself but other cells around. The blood gets all around in his machines and I eat away at it then block him in place by stopping all matter, but he breaks free right away.

The guy comes for me, and is shooting more of those damn things while making matter and reality be distorted. I stop it by connecting to the machines and reversing it on him, he finally stops and I manage to hit him finally, he cuts off my leg and use that leg to eat his arm and eat part of his core myself.

Push him down, stop the core since I have analyzed it now and then dissect his connecting with the world, I know he will get it back soon enough and make another perma-energy thing, unlimited power for his machines and all that.

But in the meantime, stop all his movements, deplete his energy source and manage to block him again. Once he is all out of energy and will be unable to reload himself before resting.

I stop, compose myself, heal and then look at him. He asks me when I will kill him “Guardian of this world, my son, now you have a name” tell him, he seems frustrated so tell him I will leave. Before doing so however tell him to gather his brothers and sisters, as I will come back and fight them all at the same time before leaving this world they so closely protect. He says I won’t be able to, giving how badly he had damaged me during this one fight. I kept getting shot, sliced and slammed against things, he tries to provoke me, he says that it will be easier if I take him out right there.

Tell him again to talk to his brothers once he is back on his feet, he is right. I might as well just give up right now considering how badly he managed to hurt me, I got shot so many times by those damn blasters. I couldn’t even try to use big crunch or bang on him, given how fast we were fighting, but that does not mean I will fight tomorrow. Tell him again to relay the message before teleporting to another planet, and I liked the previous one so much…

I had 2 lucid dreams.

June 25th 2019

This time I took care of the humans.

They had made some giant machines to advance and destroy. Which to some degree was ok until they decided to just kill anything on sight.

Teleport in front of the machine and stop it. I see some small human look on the machine at me and then tell the others to shot me down.

Make a barrier around myself and then use my clothes to create spears that go through the machine destroying it completely.

Back to sleep.

After destroying their machines I needed to take out their resources, so what I did next was go to their plants and destroy them.

Back to sleep.

Was with someone who looked similar to a family member in waking, asked them about their funder and what they were using as fuel so then teleported to their military base, took out all soldiers and then proceeded to move over to the fuel plant, destroying every single bit of it at once.

June 26th 2019

Slept more, but had a lot more work and eventually forgot everything.

June 27th 2019

Actually had good recall, but some big event happened in waking that upset my recall… meh.

June 28th 2019

I was still mad at what had happened yesterday so most of the dream I spent walking around, annoyed and just exploring the cities after I had taken out their fuels.

Most people were ok with it, the only ones who were mad were the ones who wanted to explore further and destroy the treat of other species. But from what I could gather of what people told me while exploring, each zone is different.

Apparently, this was a safe zone for humans and that is why they were able to thrive like this. And according to the people I spent my time with, most of the public wanted to not advance considering that the creature (Apparently, they were told it was a non human who attacked) that did this, is not the only one out there. They were aware that if they upset the wrong species, a whole army of them would come to this safe zone and probably kill them all.

Back to sleep.

I was talking to more people and gathering information, eventually recalled about my goals and tried to teleport to someone but was stopped by the guardians.

So instead sent a single jar made of clay to someone, but didn’t know who to send it to. Was just hoping for the best.

Back to sleep.

I was again looking around. This time recalled about my other goal with Scott, so tried to summon him and failed. Tried to go to him but then was interrupted by some kind of explosion.

Went to explore and found the humans terrified, apparently there was some kind of creature coming out of the underground?

Went down there and found a snake… lots of snakes lately. The snake tried to strangle me and bite my neck, which ended in my eating it and leaving nothing behind. The people were happy and scared at the same time that the advancement of the other people destroyed the safe zone.

Saturday June 29th 2019

Didn’t do much in regards to goals, but learnt a whole lot.

Was talking to someone in a busy street, became lucid due to the weird gravity and decided to do some goals. Except I couldn’t remember them?

I looked up onto the sky and saw that the world had a blue like light, asked around and found 4 moons were present in this planet.

This zone with the blue moon was the most peaceful and where normally civilizations thrived.

Where I was at before, where everything was big was a normal moon, a large rock. Apparently since that moon had no special effect creatures were always in a constant match for power.

Among them, the race of birds that I fought before were one of the strongest species known. While lizards were especially proliferous where the “Giant Moon” was at, for some reason due to the gravitational pull of this giant planet and its star, the moons do not move but they are overshadowed during the morning because of the star and shine brightly themselves during night.

Back to sleep.

I was in a library, still talking to the person from before. Got lucid due to the person and gravity and we continued talking for a while.

I tried to ask about the race of lizards and he told me about big lizards that are similar to what other species call dragons. He told me about how terrifying they were and how they normally travel around the planet once they are strong enough.

The only reason they can’t reach there is because the King of the birds normally kills them or fights them off, so they don’t mind the civilizations and just go straight there to test their own power.

I asked him if he referred to the flesh king and told him about how I had met him, he laughed it off and told me about what he knew from exploration marks done by mankind.

I confirmed many things with him and then left somewhere else.

I am at a castle on a hill. The hill is small yet steep and very green. The castle is also rather small yet still imposing and impressive. It is in two parts, with a pool between the two. The pool actually looks more like turquoise ocean water gently lapping up against a thin strip of sugar-fine white sand. I think that someone lives here as I look up to a window in the dark brown stone. I imagine looking out the window as the person that has to live in this place that seems so secluded without all the tourists that visit. I think I (and Makayla?) might be staying here. I’m in the pool now, and it seems more like a regular in ground swimming pool. There is also a circular hot tub that looks just big enough for literally one person to sit in. I think about going in it, but am not sure because of how small it is.




I am walking through what seems to be an outdoor shopping center. The buildings are sort of laid out awkwardly and at weird angles in relation to one another, and this is not helped by the trees all around as well as all the cars, parking spots, and people walking around. It also seems to be on a slight hill. I am looking for a certain bookstore and think I have spotted it, the building furthest from me, tucked in amongst some trees and other stores. I walk up to it, but stop and set my huge Forever 21 bag on the sidewalk. I also take off my small backpack and put it into the bag, not wanting them to think I’m going to steal when I go in. I then realize I don’t want to just leave them out here, so I leave the backpack in the bag and carry it in. Inside, this place looks more like a house. I notice a large staircase to my left. It all seems to be decorated for Christmas. There is also some sort of (Girl Scout?) event going on; there is a sign in sheet on a long end table (the one at Mom’s?). I see Mom at the far end of the long room.




I am on a pretty full school bus. I think we are stopped and about to disembark. There is some guy with foreign currency, and I see another guy calling me about it (like I’m at work). I find it humorous that he’s trying to call when I’m right here, but then announce myself and say I’ll check it out. I grab the little maroon drawstring bag. It feels like it contains coins as well as paper bills. I have no idea how I’d check a coin, and I’m not even sure how to verify if this foreign money is real or not. I’m not even sure what it is or where it’s from. The bill is about two times the size of a credit card and feels somewhere between paper and a credit card. It is an off white and has different numbers all over it. I check another one, and it has a few words on it that are indented (I feel it first). One word is ‘receipt’ and the others must say when it was purchased. I get the idea to go up to him (he looks familiar) and ask how he got these, holding my finger slyly over the ‘receipt’ part. I ask if he bought them with another currency, hoping that will just validate that these are real. He says almost what I want to hear, but it’s good enough.

#531 DILD - 8AM

I am in some shopping center looking at stuff with my wife. There is a guy looking at Halloween costumes next to us but he keep ramming his cart into my leg. I don't do much or get mad. I'm slightly annoyed and I just move. There is some interaction with the cashier and my wife and we somehow get new debit cards. Now I want a new wallet and I start to look for one.

Suddenly, I realize that I am completely naked. I run out of the store and grab some random items to hide my private parts. I make it to the car and hide for a moment. Some teenager peer in but I have my face covered with a thin material. I wait until they leave and start putting more clothes on.

When I am decently dressed, I notice the car has rolled out of the parking spot. I make several attempts at parking but the parking gear and emergency brake doesn't seem to keep the car from rolling. I finally stash it an angle in front of the store. I want to go back in because I still want a wallet.

I get out of the car but my wife is coming out; done shopping. I tell her what I am doing while awkwardly getting a pair of sandals on. They are muddy. There is a lot of rain water flowing down from and inside corner of the L shape in the building lay out. I go to was my feet but end up letting the water flow on my head and body like a shower. I see my feet and sandals are clean so I step out only to notice that I am completely naked again. I look out into the parking lot and see a nude woman laying across a sports car feeling her breast and looking at me. I choose to ignore her.

All of this is too much and I now know that I am dreaming. My first instinct is to get dressed. I struggle with the clothing then realize it doesn't matter. I can either go naked or just mentally fast-forward past the physical effort of getting dressed. I tell my self that I am dressed and confidentially walk in the store. I see my reflection in the glass of the sliding doors. It looks like I am at least wearing shorts. I look down and now I am wearing a long shirt. Good enough.

Not knowing what else to do, I decide to go ahead and look for the wallet. Unfortunately the dream starts to fade. I struggle for visual clarity and now the store has turned into a version of a large church from childhood. There is a kid with me. Seems like it's KW. I hear singing. It sounds like my sister N. We try to follow the voice but the church is turning into a confusing maze. The dream starts to fade and KW say no lets interact and he starts beating a rhythm on walls and pews as we pass them. I do the same. It helps for a while but the dream continues to fade out.

Other dreams:

1) I have a horribly clumsy time cleaning the litter box. Stuff ends up everywhere and somehow I have litter grit in my mouth. I am really annoyed and grossed out.

2) I am driving my truck into my drive way at my house. I'm thinking making a turn round spot in part of the yard. I decide to drive it to see. Seems good but I back out and now I am at a place I liked in as a teen in TX. I turn the car around and realized I hit something. I look there is some random T-posts and a lot of thorny vines. The trees seem to close in on me. I think my dad really needs to get out here and cut this crap with me.I see something else and notice that I took out the entire gas meter. There is natural spewing out from a now single broken pipe coming out of the ground. I marvel how that was even possible but rush to shut the truck off to avoid an explosion. I run in the house to tell my dad. He takes his sweet time calling the gas company then hangs up. Oops that's the wrong number. He starts slowing typing in search on the computer to find the number. I say you know what I'm just calling 911. I dial and then I wake up.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table at my parents' house. We're talking about "my mansion". The sale can't go through because I can't get finance, but I'm legally bound to purchase it because I've signed the paperwork, and the seller has my one million dollar deposit.

I also have another house with money tied up in it that is wasting away.

This is all due to a mistake my parents have made. I need their help to resolve the issues but they aren't taking it seriously. They seem to be procrastinating. I'm getting impatient as I need the problems sorted out so I can move on.

My dad cracks a joke and I start to get angry. I yell but they keep smiling. I get angrier. I yell a lot, trying to get them to hear me. Then they give me the impression there's something I don't know about that they are dealing with. I don't know if it's financial or medical. I try to get answers but my mother just keeps smiling.

I get the impression one of them is seriously ill. I start to get hysterical, yelling and crying. I need to know what is wrong. Finally my mother says there is no problem. Nobody is ill. There is nothing to worry about.

The next morning I go to my kitchen and there is someone there. She says something about someone getting fired. I ask why I'm being fired and she says it's not me, it's my mother, she has lost her job. Our fight was on TV and people are angry that she made me think something was horribly wrong when it wasn't.

I am at a train station with Melissa. There is a slight platform with a ticket booth on it and three terminals beyond it at 12, 3, and 9 o’clock. We approach and the lady asks us which we’ll need a ticket for. I tell her that I honestly don’t really know, but that we’re going to Colorado, so whichever that one might be. She doesn’t really offer much help, but another girls shows up and says that’s right by Nebraska, pointing us to the train to our left. We get our tickets and head over to it. I briefly wonder how we’ll actually get to Colorado from wherever this train takes us. When I search Nebraska on my map, it looks like it is right by Colorado, so much so that when I zoom out they pretty much blend together. We now seem to be on the train, which looks more like a room with seats along the walls. The seats look like red velvet or like the ones in movie theaters. There is a female couple that we’re going to be sitting by; there’s a slight confusion of people already sitting, people starting to sit, and people like me what are figuring out where they’re going to sit. I end up sitting by one of the girls, and Melissa will be on my left.

I am with Melissa and some unfamiliar others in what seems like someone’s home. There is some event going on where we are being fed. There is a long table with toppings and ingredients for hot dogs. There are a couple of ladies seated behind the table, serving. This table seems to be in a slight alcove. I am up now and getting jalapenos on my bun. I then get a hot dog. There is a small thing of mayo that I’m going to spread on with a knife. I think the mustard is in a squeeze bottle (*I seem to wake up right at this point).

I am with Melissa and she is driving us either to or from Mom’s so I can grab something really quick. I don’t recognize the car, but it seems like a mid size SUV. it is dark out. Melissa is in underwear and a white bra and I am wearing a towel. I see in the mirror a cop car a few cars behind us, so I tell Melissa to use her turn signal. She somewhat defiantly asks why and I tell her to just do it. She does, as she moves into the empty lane to the right (there are 3-4 lanes and it looks pretty much like S. Virginia). I see the cop car get over right behind us. I see Melissa see it and get why I was telling her to use her signal. She has her elbow propped on the window ledge and her head propped on her fist; she looks sort of sadly resigned. The cop looks like he could be running the plates or something. I wonder if he can see our state of dress from this angle and wonder what the implications would be. He is wearing some weird circular glass piece over one of his eyes, kind of like a monocle but larger and more steampunk looking. I think I saw him earlier.



(fragment) I am somewhere outside with Mom and some unfamiliar? others. We’re on a small jetty of tannish boulders on what is probably a very small lake. It looks like the clear water is about ten feet down and I am planning on jumping into it (it’s so clear that the ground and submerged boulder look close, but I know they’re deeper than they appear) until Mom tells me that the water is actually right at my feet. Sure enough, I move them and stir up the water. It’s refreshingly cool.



(fragment) I’m with Scott in a rental car. We’re at a red light when I notice that he’s in the back, I’m in the passenger’s seat, and no one is in the driver’s seat. It seems like he is casually expecting me to drive. I look to the red light and then quickly hop into the driver’s seat. I buckle up and I think put it in drive as the light turns, accelerating not too far behind the car in front of us. I’m driving around a long corner, like an off ramp, and almost hit the cement barrier, steering pretty hard to avoid it and get back on course. I think I was going too fast, but the car also seems hard to control.

I am walking around at work (it looks very different, still like a department store, but not the one I work at) when Ryan calls 432 and says “I need change.” I am not on a phone and think I actually hear him say it since I just so happen to be a few yards from the register he is at. I see three different women in his view and figure one must be who he is calling about. Two look like moms with strollers. The other looks more suspicious, with sunglasses and a large purse. I think they all see me and take off running. There is a small pile of wadded up dresses on the ground that I think the girl with the purse must have dumped. There is also a set of keys, which I pick up and keep. I am now briefly in a room or at a table taking a picture of one of the keys (or some metal piece attached to a key) that has some identifying number on it. I think Laynie is here now and we are watching this girl. She goes somewhere downstairs a bit before going upstairs. I thought she would have been spooked, but it seems like we think she might still steal. I’m now walking around and getting ready to close when I notice there are still a lot of people here.

(fragment) I am outside and walking along a thin dirt trail. It descends a short but steep incline, crosses what looks like a thin dry creek, and then ascends another hill. There is a lady coming down the incline opposite me. She stops and makes sure no one is coming before she crosses the dry creek. I see her do this and give her a thumbs up to let her know she’s clear. She then passes me and makes a rude, unjust comment about me doing that for her. Angry, I aggressively cuss her out. I don’t get why she would get angry over my doing that.



(fragment) I am in a store and debating buying a book. It is a slender book of current need-to-know beers written by a woman. It seems too short, but I think it could be a good addition to my collection, especially since the small, yellowish sticker on it informs me that it’s only $1. I think I start off but then go back for it

I am with Dad at his house. I think it looks mostly the same, but the view out of the front window is different. Instead, there is a view of a slight desert ravine or at least some fairly steep desert hills. There is nothing but sand, rock, and sagebrush until a very tiny patch of what looks like buildings on the very far horizon. In a corner of the house opposite the window there is some machine, no bigger than a small couch, that apparently launches missiles/bombs. I think there is an atom bomb, a hydrogen bomb, and a magnet bomb? The last is the smallest, but still a very serious bomb. One of the larger bombs, still a long, thin cylindrical shape that fits on the device, is loaded and ready to be sent to Russia. I think this must have been Dad’s idea, and it is all very nonchalant. It has been launched out through the open front window now, and I am waiting. After a while, I see dark clouds forming on the horizon. They aren’t really black, but look more like storm clouds. After these clouds form, I see dense, white smoke. It is coming this way, slowly, from my vantage point. The sunlight seems to dim here now, and I look again at the approaching white smoke. The mass is travelling up the hills, and I know it won’t stop for us. The ravine’s length is quickly becoming consumed; it is moving a bit faster than I thought possible at this distance. I fear it might break the window, so I turn away and move towards the kitchen. In an instant, the light is drained, looking like there is an eclipse or total, dark cloud cover. It is only the smoke though, as I hear it pass over the house with an airy impact, like a plane passing through clouds. I see it cover the far windows and pass seemingly slower than it came. I wonder what Russia looks right now, what city had the most impact, what history has been completely erased or rewritten. I then wonder who will retaliate and send a bomb to the US, thinking it inevitable. I think about dying like that, and it is not something I want. It all feels too real.